I came across this podcast by accident after watching Dru on the Beckett episode. Wow! Thank you @ArmieHammerTime for this episode. It has touched me in an incredible way! You're both a beautiful pair! I had a similar experience with my mom as you with yours. And now the tables have turned - I resemble your mom in having faith and you my son being open hearted and sincere. Very eye opening and touching. Thank you so much to the both of you for sharing with us your stories and for being open and candid. I'm sorry that you went through such a horrific traumatic event in your childhood! May you continue to do great things.
As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse where the perpetrator was never held accountable, I have so much empathy for what you went through, Armie. I endured his presence in my life for 15 more years until cancer took him. My religious family swept everything under the rug (there were at least 5 other girls in my family who were also abused). Thank you for your openness and for taking us on this healing journey with you.
Wow hi, almost identical situations for me , literally. I really feel him, I’m still angry in my heart but have gone through enough wasted months and years now …I’m done ❤ I can watch this stuff now and it doesn’t break me anymore ✌️ xxxxxxx
interesting, and true that perpetrators suffer more than victims. Perpetrators need to be exposed early. It is incumbent on parents to do this, they are just not doing their (God given) job when they side with sly, smooth talking morons in these "Christian" groups.
As a doctor can I just say Armie .. you are giving off serious therapist vibes in both these episodes .. You engage in active listening and are very patient and articulate.. You are enough as you are by the way.. ❤
He surely is a being such a patient & good listener. Has to be this with a person who is always right ; soo perfect & utterly self centered. 'Had to pretend' with phone calls. She means..lie! What a hero: 'I chose to forgive him'. She listened to that part of the Bible but she didn't know how to respect & let him be the head of household.
I can tell this Podcast is going to be my new addiction. So happy to see Armie Hammer has taken his recovery so seriously - and they say “people don’t change” … here’s the evidence they do.
yeah, he articulates the situation very accurately. Even Jesus didn't keep talking like this. He spoke with principles, and real issues. Mothers need to protect their kids and they just don't, they just get filled with their own importance.
I've always known that he was a sweet sweet man. People just love to jump in any bandwagons they see purely because most people just love to hate others. But I've always known that he was special and that he has always given me a lot of kind vibes regardless what others might believe about him.
To every adult watching this. If you discover that child abuse you must report it to the police or Child protective services. The church can not “handle it.”
I agree but in all reality,when this happened,we didn't have all the info we do now. I am not saying how Dru handled it is ok but I do understand her just wanting this man to be far away from her precious son,I went thru some things very similar around the same timeframe and the DA of the county we are in told us of how hard legal proceedings would be on my child,my Son was a basketball prodigy who was very well known in the community,even the misguided therapist we used advised us against putting my Child through all the legal wrangling that would ensue
What more info do you need? It’s wrong, it is the adults responsibility to protect children, whether with legalities or old school “street justice.” Excuses…
@@lhamil6 public schools have a 100x higher rate of abuse than churches. And we haven’t even brought up in the family sexual abuse. It’s all terrible. So stop picking on believers in God. Nowadays the catholic church’s model for dealing with abuse is so admired that companies have adopted it. Also CPS is a joke which shows you have no idea what you’re taking about. I know so much abuse that CPS just never looks into. You should educate yourself more
I actually feel really bad for him after this. She's an absolute nightmare. She's so pleased with herself and never wrong. She seems to care more about making sure she looks Godly and perfect, than allowing room for his feelings and trauma. Ugh. Everyone puts so much focus on the Hammer family history, but I think she has caused much more trauma for him than any of that ever could. His actions make so much more sense now.
@@DariaShatovон пытался найти контакт с ней всю свою жизнь....но она неисправима....по-этому только "не контакт"...Это "токсичная мама".... которая не видит своего сына перед с собой..
@@ОльгаИванова-ч2т4ж Зря вы так. Не стоит бросаться оскорблениями в адрес незнакомых вам людей. Не подпадайте под влияние модных псевдопсихологических трендов.
His mother is absent metaphorically speaking. She doesn't even listen to what he is saying. She sounds like a parrot who repeats words and has totally lost the meaning of what she is preaching. The poor guy is trying to get through to her, but I doubt that he succeeded.
Its amazing that Dru has this holier than though attitude towards her son. I just dont get that sense of warmth and compassion from her. He's crying out for acceptance and approval from his mother and to come to terms with what happened to him as a teen and in church and all she can do is continue to preach at him. Where was she as a mother when she needed to protect him? Its very sad. There is no way that Armie can have the same relationship with christ after everything that he has been through. Thank you so much for sharing your story and having such a raw and emotional conversation about family secrets that not many wish to expose!
As someone who also has an extremely “religious” (born again) parent… I relate deeply to this discussion. They have also left me bibles in my house, quotes from the Bible in birthday cards/holiday cards, and critique my own spiritual practice of many years. Now we have a good relationship like you do with your Mom, but we do stay away from religious topics in general. We also compromise and listen to smooth jazz in the car. 😂 Thanks for sharing this discussion Armie, as I know it was uncomfortable in parts for you. Namaste. 🙏
Your mother is using “Jesus “ as her shield Sadly I believe she is a phony, a narcissist, and in huge denial about her entire life. I felt it immediately upon meeting her and your father many many years ago ! Her body language even expresses her obstinance and refusal to accept your point of view, sadly.
If you can believe it, I’ve never listened to a podcast. But I was very intrigued and pleasantly surprised. This was so raw so authentic and I love the interaction between you and your mom. I look forward to every episode no matter who you’re talking to. I’ve always rooted for you Armie,and I can’t wait to see you. Acting again where you belong.
Boundaries is a must for Armie, if he wants to keep his sanity. Well done Armie, you know exactly the barriers with your mum. You will find other nurturing and accepting women as mother figures, you will. Not all mothers are like this.
Much love and respect, Armie! This podcast was so useful for understanding some dynamics I have with my mother I literally gained compassion for myself.
This was hard to watch. As a parent my sole purpose in life has always been to love, protect, understand and accept my daughter for who she is. Armie, I really admire you for being able to process and accept your mother's failures. I always knew you had a heart of gold!
@@elizabethmadron1336My dad is a diagnosed clinical malignant overt narcissist. I def wouldn't say that. She may have a few tendencies but I believe it's more evangelical indoctrination at play. She dismisses a lot & doesn't really respect Armie's grown formed beliefs.
@@BrewLee And you, what would your topic be? Oh, I know, it would be about movies, children's cartoons, anime or some Hollywood gossip. Stop acting cool, because you're just an empty person with no purpose.
@Rodrigodopensandocalm lol. Look at you going around internet telling people they are empty and assuming they like anime xD way to go champ. Bless you and have a nice day buddy. Invite Jesus to your heart it will cure the need to project onto other people.
Wow. My heart breaks for you. And I admire your patience, the way you continue to try to have a conversation with your mother. It is frustrating to watch, I can only imagine how it must feel for you. ❤
@@biljanaavramovic9579 I partially agree with you. I think Armie and Dru are simply speaking different languages, but they speak the same message to each other. It’s just they don’t know how to translate it from a different dialect, hence there is this confusion between them. They are both amazing, it’s just… they need an interpreter and there none around, unfortunately :)
It's the hurt little boy in Armie talking, processing, and looking for healing, closure, and understanding. I wish him all the very best and may he find his peace!
He's not a hurt little boy anymore, nor will he ever be again. But with his mother, he will never find connection, she's not interested in connection. She's interested in status, a polished facade, she's interested in arrogance and pride
This was very intense to listen to. Armie is such a well spoken person. The wording of his thoughts despite all the emotions, feelings, and pain behind them is exquisite. His calling might be acting but I think that a much greater calling of his is rebuilding his life, healing himself, owning and living his true personality, and inspiring others as well as helping them heal equally in the process.
I’m heartbroken to hear all of this, and heartbroken that your mother cannot truly accept you and see you for who you are. She is stuck in an old paradigm. Meanwhile, you have so much patience for her while also keeping strong boundaries. This is hard for most to do. I admire your strength to not only have this conversation, but to have it publicly. It shows your integrity. Onwards and upwards, Armie❤❤❤
This is incredible...and I don't know how you do this with your mom, Armie. You were so patient with her and you worded your responses to her beautifully. She is an evangelist first, a mom second. I know you know that this is narcissism more than it is about her faith. I am sorry if this offends, but it is plain as day. While I hope your mother reads this, I seriously doubt she will. Narcissists cannot see themselves or the world in a way that makes sense to the rest of us. There is no cure and no viable treatment. She uses God/Christ like others use wealth, politics, skin color...you name it...and all of this is absolutely antithetical to Christ's teachings. She has no idea the damage she is doing.
Narcissism is too common of a disorder among our parents’ generation. Yet, we are the adults in the room now and need to be mature enough to deal with our own shortcomings regardless. It’s not our business to fix our parents. Let them be, they did their best.
@@ukrainianworld236 you are so right. I want to see Armie create healthy boundaries as he makes his way in his new world. We don't have a lot of information about this very thing...when there is still active contact with a narcissistic parent...and even more complicated when they think they have been annointed by God.
@@ukrainianworld236 imo, she could do the same for him. Let him just be. He's also doing his best. And he articulated his thoughts in such a good manner without blaming anyone. I couldn't say the same with her in this conversation. She says here, she's accepting and taking accountability, but also very defiant. At least she could accept his living situation, he's rebuilding his whole life without taking the easy road, all on his own. That's very admirable. Overall heartbreaking though..
@@ganaani6621 I hear you, yet let me tell you, Dru is an angel compared to most in her generation I know, including my own parents. She is a mom and she will continue being a mom the way she knows. Yes, there is some rigidity in her approach but that how she was brought up. Armie needs to learn to see through this without judgment and without being hurt. I find the fact she keeps gifting him Bibles adorable - her message is not wrong, it’s just the way she presents this message to him (and obviously has been all her life) is not the best approach that would work for him and his genetics - if anything, it transcribes into some sort of resentment. I so understand them both! There are certain minor things that Armie needs to come to understanding - and it looks like he is trying hard to get there - I just see he is surrounded by people who are good folks and wish him best, but they themselves are stuck on the same level as he himself, and he needs to have a little bit more help from someone who has moved on to the next one already. In short, both Dru and Armie are awesome, and I wish I could help them both to clear this final hurdle :) Most modern day psychologists and counselors are on the wrong track there.
I never thought I would know all this about Armie and his mom! The episode was a masterpiece, I loved their honesty and interaction. It deserves all the praise❤❤
I honestly love this interview. You can tell Armie has had a LOT of therapy. His mom is relentless and Armie is trying so hard to keep his boundaries. I understand wanting to give testimony but the most evolved people, spiritually, understand it’s a path you find entirely on your own and you’re meant to find your way to God by doing your own work. No one can give you a cheat code. It’s part of your duty to your higher self and It’s necessary for your true purpose. Arnie’s mom is actively trying to derail this, and that’s not of God; period.
Still listening to this episode but Armie speaking to his mom and his mom finding every moment to preach and excuse herself with her beliefs is giving flashbacks of my own relationship with my mom. Stay strong brother ✊🏾
That was an incredible episode! My heart goes out to Armie and what he had to endure. You can tell was not easy for him to open up an get deeper with his mother. Love you Armie ❤
Armie I am totally speechless, this podcast is such a huge and worthful thing you're doing! how much empathy I feel with you now! I am a muslim and I used to have a mother exactly like yours, my mother never tried to understand me as a teenager with my natural needs and my natural being and constantly tried to make a religious figure of me and that hurt me soo much and caused weird happenings and traumas in my life! I think your mother's approach for living is more responsible for what happened to you than your dad's
Armie, thanks so much for sharing these important conversations. I think you articulated your position with great nuance. I'm sure your mother loves you dearly, but it is clear from watching that her dealings with you have more of a pastoral than a maternal character, as you stated. There is almost an icy quality to her spiritual beliefs, whereas you come across as far warmer and more loving. Looking forward to Part Two. Best wishes from Scotland!
My goodness. You have the patience of the saint she wants you to be to put up with the cult-indoctrination levels of zealotry and self-righteousness rolling out of this woman. More power to you man.
Armie, you are sensitive. It shows, it feels. I understand that you had to defend yourself from everything and everyone. But... you have a generous heart. And generous hearts, as we know, know how to love. It is so difficult to tell your story and to entrust your fragilities to those who listen to you. Thank you, beautiful soul.
Armie is soooooo well spoken, thoughtful, patient and open minded to the best of his ability in this conversation, I give him SO much credit for even being willing to sit down and talk with someone who is so closed off to anything other than their "one truth". This is something I would absolutely not be able to do and I know it's his mother but damn, this conversation speak volumes to the growth he's made. He deserves a lot of credit for showing up for this and in this way.
She's still protecting the place where you got sexually assaulted in. I believe when you said you felt unprotected because she's still taking their side till now. My heart goes out to you.
This interview reminds me of talks with my Dad. You know the love's there, but sometimes you just can't see eye to eye. Such is life. Thank you for the insightful podcast.
@@MichMeister16 if you have to hide your own faith in your own home in order to have a conversation with someone (edit: not just someone - your own mother), is it really love? Doubt.
Son: It really hurt me that you can't look at people without reducing them to your relationship with church. And I feel like a failure because you literally want me to become modern Jesus and win over thousands of people to join church. (The only reason the mother wants her son to win and grow is to complete her goals). WORD. Mother: I want to share the love of Jesus because there is a lot of hurting in this world. LITERALLY Armie. If you are reading this. I wholeheartedly thank you for your bravery to do such a podcast. Especially the part where you say then reasons you felt like you were never enough... After listening to this podcast, I actually have more compassion for myself.
Tolstoy said "Every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way". I'm with you Armie. Thank you for this difficult episode. I'm really really looking forward to your new film on screen😊
I’m only 2 minutes in and I’m already glad I tuned in. My dad is a preacher and I wish I’d had the courage to set that boundary. I need a father not a preacher. Oh crap, AND he has ties to Oral Roberts. This is going to be an interesting conversation.
I feel that Armie recognizes the mechanical thought process that his mother has, but doesn't recognize the implications of it. He seeks her out, he tries to poke the shell to see who's underneath, and finds only another layer of the shell. There is no core to the shell, just a system of behaviours, but he clings to the hope that he will find his real mother in Dru. Dru is not altogether there, and will never be.
What an awful thing to say. She clearly loves her son, and he clearly knows it. I've been exactly where Armie is, my mother is a lot like Dru, and I now realise how much she loved me the whole time.
Dru! The only expectation from a parent (mother) is UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!!! A parent can ONLY want their child to be HAPPY with their choice (job, partner, religion etc.) While the child is small, protect it from God and man - that's your job. When he grows up, you have then support him (just if he asks). You can't fight his battles, you can't solve his problems, you can't control his life (you can't tell him he has a crappy apartment)! THIS IS HIS LIFE! Let him live his life! If he stumbles (he will) you lift it up - and "love it more than EVERYTHING"!!! (Beautiful boy - the most touching film about parental love) Armie! All my respect to you. It must have been awfully hard to to preserve yourself around a parent like that. You are lucky that your grandmother loved and accepted you unconditionally. I hope that your chosen family (friends) give you more acceptance and love! 💙
Wow, what an emotional roller-coaster ride! I'm floored by Armie's bravery, boldness, vulnerability and nearly inhuman strength. It's absolutely admirable how he pulled through all this sh*t and came out a better person. I really wish that only good things happen to him from now on. He's one of a few people who truly deserve this.
Keep your boundaries Armie! There’s nothing wrong with telling people where the line is and when they’re crossing it. It’s impressive how patient and respectful you are through this interview. Giving someone multiple bibles is ridiculous! And pushing your religion onto others is never ok. You’re amazing Armie, sending good vibes 🤗💜💕
I can so relate to this, Armie. My mom does this to me all the time. Just know you are definitely not alone in dealing with over bearing Christian mothers. Keep on keepin on brother.
Armie you are a better person than I am because I could not sit there and listen to that and remain so calm. But I guess you have a lifetime of practice. You have even more of my admiration for living with that. Sending love and support always.
Armie has been through so much, he is so brave and i just have to say - i love this podcast, it shows us that he is incredibly well-spoken, smart, emotional human. We love u🤍
As a person with a narcissistic mom, I recognize a lot in this interview. Whenever my mom acknowledges her mistakes and takes 100% responsibility it’s just so she can tell herself she’s not that bad. It’s not because she’s truly sorry for what she’s done. And still she tries to enforce her way of living on me. I have to be a copy of her, that’s really what is best for me according to my mom. Because she is perfect of course. Her views are the right views. Thank you for making this podcast!!!
How have you survived any of this? I applaud you for trying to have a sane conversation with this woman. Keep meditating. You are not what anyone labels you. And I really hope you've read Gary Zukov's work. You should try to interview him.
I’m so glad these conversations are being had. You can feel armie’s genuine hurt , while still having compassion for his mom, meeting her where she’s at. The conversation about the pastor was painful for this empath to watch, but I imagine heart to many. Keep these coming ❤ everyone deserves a chance to tell their story
Having come from an evangelical background, with similar experiences, the 4 bibles (Oral Roberts Yikes) is something that would have happened in the past. As a therapist Armie, I want to commend you for handling this interview with open communication, reflective listening and boundary setting. Looking forward to see what topics you'll be addressing in the future
yesss!! i’m so glad you kept bringing her back to what you’re saying. it’s really fucking hard. and they really can’t NOT preach, can they? it’s filler because they don’t want to be confronted and they can’t be wrong.
Armie, this conversation was incredibly mature. My husband and I were so impressed by how patient and non-judgmental you were. I’m deeply sorry for the pain and defamation you experienced. I hope you find healing and a thriving career after everything you've been through. The world is starting to realize that, despite some mistakes, we only knew half the story. Love your podcast and can’t wait to see you back on the big screen!
You are so good at articulating your perspective and you graciously listen to your mom. I can see your love for her and ability to be patient and reign things back to the subject! Well done! May this season continue to bring restoration, healing and peace to every area of your life! ❤
Oh, Armie. My heart goes out to you. Congratulations to you for all the work you are doing - and the progress you are making - on healing. May you continue to make and hold firm to your boundaries.
Both Armie and his mom are so impressive and honest. This was incredible to witness, thank you. I cannot fathom the mean comments about his mom: she is honest, patient, so proud of her son, complimentary, and quick to confess her failings as a mom. I'm sorry for those who mistake her patience and poise for coldness. They should rewatch with an open mind--and heart.
I feel heartbroken for him. There is this steel wall that he's trying to demolish and access his mother's heart. I have a similar mother and mother-in-law. I know there's no fix for this. I'm sorry. The only way is to live your life and leave her be. She's just unable to connect and unwilling to work on it. I wish you healing and love, and I know you'll be fine. Thanks for sharing. This will help many in similar situations.
Armie, you are an incredible man with such inner strength and immense patience. Don't have nice words to say about your mother.. this podcast explains a lot. You deserve the best things and your career back. I hope many acting offers to come your way 🤞
I'm honestly speechless. The conversation between was so genuine and relatable-it really resonated with me. Hearing them discuss his childhood, with both of them being so well-spoken and open, felt like I was listening to a conversation I've had with my own mom. I loved his mom's honesty, especially how she reflects on her past and isn’t afraid to acknowledge mistakes. And the way she ties everything back to religion-just like my mom does-made it all the more relatable. It was refreshing to see such vulnerability, and I can't wait for part two!
With some parents, trying to get them to accept you for who you are is like trying to get blood from a stone. It's not going to happen, so you might as well stop banging your head against the wall. Listening to this actually validated my own decision to go extreme limited contact with my mother. Thank You!
This was an extremely raw and refreshing podcast, Armie. A lot of things makes total sense now after just the second episode. Thank you for having the courage to wear your heart on your sleeve for the world to see. I'm looking forward to seeing more! ❤
The first time I heard of this woman was Armie’s 2020 tweets about waking up to her pouring oil on him while speaking in tongues, to pray the demons away. A moment to consider how disorienting and disturbing that would be for anyone to see their parent like that. This was when Armie had just escaped lockdown with his ex-wife and - as he says here - needed his mom, not a pastor. At a time when people would’ve given anything to be closer to their families, she chose to treat her struggling son like that and he ultimately had to get away from her too. She has also said similar to his co-stars and ex girlfriends, based on their quoting her talking to them about her own son being “demonic” or “possessed” and other such nonsense. She owes Armie an apology (several, actually). I’m glad to see she admitted to failing him as a child at least. I admit I was ambivalent about how she has become such a part of his life again recently. BUT seeing this discussion and the way Armie is completely awake to her ways and knows exactly how to call her out on them, at least gives me relief that he knows she will never change and she will never put her children before her faith. Sad, but true. Armie, please know that you do not need this woman’s approval or validation to be happy and that you can believe in whatever you want. It’s your life, not hers. You do not owe this woman anything, even if she is your parent. She talks about choices, everyone having a choice. She should consider that her choice was to put religion ahead of parenthood. Your son is begging you to just love him and you refuse. Did Jesus tell you to do that, Dru? Of course not. I’m pretty sure it’s also not very Godly of you to judge your son’s house because it’s not good enough for your expensive tastes. He had to start his life over after it was decimated and you’re worried about his apartment? His “pagan gods”? Good god woman your son is lucky to be alive and this is what you focus on?
I'm really enjoying watching these podcasts and getting to learn more about you, your life, etc. Keep up with the great work! I have always been a huge fan and supporter of you.
Armie, I have so much respect for you choosing to share this episode. I can't imagine how hard it must have been to document a bid for connection while knowing that it would be rejected. I admire that you're able to empathize with your mother, and be patient with her. I can tell how much your mother loves you, and while her approach to connection is misguided, she's showing her love the only way she knows how. I think that the love that you two share radiates in this episode despite the very clear differences between you two. In you I see a love that strives to understand, and in your mother, I see a love that strives to protect. The love we share with our families isn't always ideal, but it is undeniable.
I don’t see anything being rejected here. Dru is not rejecting Armie at all. Is she pointing out the ways she doesn’t think are right for him? You bet. And yes, unfortunately, she is rigid in her approach. Just remember, she is not a 25 year old, and she is not his girlfriend or groupie. Is Armie in need of different expression of her love? Yes, he clearly is. Is it fair for him to expect that from Dru? Not anymore. Accepting your mom the way she is is a step in the right direction at this point in his life. Learning to understand why she is the way she is is the next step. Then, ideally, he could hear what she is trying to tell him, instead of resenting her message. Their hearts are in the right place, yet their communication is still broken.
@@DariaShatov Yes, except living with that woman as a child and trying to explain to his mother about the traumas and the only thing that occurred to him at the time was to find a wife to get rid of "those demonic traumas" as she once said. maybe not a good idea. This woman is like Elizabeth "the perfect picture, the idyllic family" and everything that comes out of that is just "bury it and forget it." No, traumas do not disappear on their own, even by attending therapy there is a good chance that old wounds can resurface.
I'm not even sure how to respond to this. I wasn't trying to villainize his mother but I disagree that Armie has to do any of what you wrote. He's choosing to do so despite knowing the outcome and that's what I'm commending him for.
@@DariaShatovConsidering what he’s just been through, I think she could put the pastor cosplay away for two seconds and just tell her son she loves him. For goodness sake.
Know that whatever happens in your life, you can always and forever recover from it, only death is inevitable but this is really beautiful to see that you are trying again, and this whole idea of a podcast is really amazing. I really like the videos ❤
Armie, I am so sorry that you have to deal with this individual. I feel like this accounts for so much of your life experiences. I cannot believe how strong you must be to have put up with this insanity. You have my respect.
I understand that the situation might seem difficult from the outside, and I respect the support you want to express for Armie. That being said, I think it’s important to point out that his mother has made an effort to remain open to dialogue, even if her religious beliefs may come across as rigid. The calm manner in which she expressed herself shows that she is trying to maintain a relationship with her son. She is not insane; she is aligned with her beliefs, and we should also respect her convictions.
Hello Armie, I am so glad that I have seen this podcast. Wow, this has given me SO much insight & I now feel that I understand you. I won't say much more but I COMPLETELY empathise with you. Armie, I look forward to being able to go to the cinema to watch you in films again. Best wishes from UK
It's good that they talk about the past and boundaries, it helps them both with the healing process. Mom kind of tries to twist things around, her memories are different than his; it sounds like she's disregarding Armie's feelings and choices. It takes courage to discuss that past trauma, so kudos to Armie! He is so eloquent and clear in thoughts, she really doesn't sound like a mother, but a pastor waiting for him to convert and agree with her.
OMG!! This is heartbreaking. Armie has come along way because I couldn’t have handled this for over an hour. I might’ve ripped all of my hair out. Utterly sad but eye widening.
You are incredible. So mindful and strong. It is also very hard to watch how she doesn't accept you... it must be painful and hard to take on. You are so sincere and open,so honest. I have so much respect for that
Wow... I respect you for having shared this conversation with the world. I have no doubt that she loves you 100 % yet what I have learnt in life is that every person's 100 % differ, meaning every person can only give what they can. For them it's 100 yet for the child these 100% can feel like they're only getting 10. Because what every person can give emotionally is completely different. I feel like this beautiful woman has filled all the emotional voids and EQ deficits with her faith in order to feel complete. Like filling sand in a box of pebbles. To fill it up and have a purpose. She probably gave all she could, but you two are so extremely different people (emotionally) that it would never have been enough for you. From her standpoint she gave it all. From your standpoint she didn't give enough. It's because your currencies are too divergent. The fact that she feels like a prophet (always being right and, claiming, that if it's not now then you'll see one day that she was) is not helping this communicative process. But it is not her fault. And it's not yours. You two are incompatible on an emotional level. Probably you two would never been friends if you met each other somewhere being total strangers. Yet you're related and it's "supposed to" work. Well, it does not. And, sadly, it often does not. And many people watching this podcast will see themselves either in you or in her.
This was such a powerful conversation and I really respect both Armie and Dru for demonstrating how to have a civil and respectful discussion with boundaries and differing viewpoints. I also really appreciate both for sharing so vulnerably. I like that even though Dru has very strong beliefs, she’s not the type to disown or speak hatefully of her child for having different views or life experiences as, unfortunately, some “religious” parents will hypocritically do. I also commend her for taking ownership of some things she now sees she could’ve done differently (like at 20:53 and 58:12). I related a lot to Armie here, including trying to navigate through communication with a parent and wanting to feel seen and valued as you are, as well as trying to make sense of and come to terms with choices parents made when we were younger. I can tell you have a good heart, Armie, and I never doubted that even during the accusations. It was sweet to hear the story from your mom about what you’re like on set - I’m not surprised, but it is further proof I was right in my intuition about you 🙂 It’s so great to not only have you back in the public sphere but to also have the gift of you sharing so candidly. I’m really looking forward to future episodes as well as any other projects you set your sights on 👏
3 BC - Jesus touches the lepper. AD 2024 - Snob mother can't stand her son living in a modest apartment and gives him shit about it. Praise the Lord for his teachings are great, and he works in mysterious ways! I am sorry for spamming comments, Armie, but this is the most valuable podcast episode I ever saw.
This was difficult to watch. I have so much empathy and compassion for Armie.
My thoughts exactly. 👍
Jeez this is intense. I grew up with the same mom. Armie is truly patient and a very good communicator. Thank you for sharing. This is very healing.
Same here. They're so hard to talk to! 🤦😔
Clearly he’s been doing this dance his entire life. At some point you learn how to “handle” them for your own sanity or completely disengage.
Affirming religious manipulation and abuse. She truly thinks she's spot on.
@@reeree3641This is why he’s such a great actor.
I came across this podcast by accident after watching Dru on the Beckett episode. Wow! Thank you @ArmieHammerTime for this episode. It has touched me in an incredible way! You're both a beautiful pair! I had a similar experience with my mom as you with yours. And now the tables have turned - I resemble your mom in having faith and you my son being open hearted and sincere. Very eye opening and touching. Thank you so much to the both of you for sharing with us your stories and for being open and candid. I'm sorry that you went through such a horrific traumatic event in your childhood! May you continue to do great things.
Armie’s mother is a piece of work. That’s the kindest thing I can say about her.
As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse where the perpetrator was never held accountable, I have so much empathy for what you went through, Armie. I endured his presence in my life for 15 more years until cancer took him. My religious family swept everything under the rug (there were at least 5 other girls in my family who were also abused). Thank you for your openness and for taking us on this healing journey with you.
Wow hi, almost identical situations for me , literally. I really feel him, I’m still angry in my heart but have gone through enough wasted months and years now …I’m done ❤ I can watch this stuff now and it doesn’t break me anymore ✌️ xxxxxxx
Im sorry you went though that.
interesting, and true that perpetrators suffer more than victims. Perpetrators need to be exposed early. It is incumbent on parents to do this, they are just not doing their (God given) job when they side with sly, smooth talking morons in these "Christian" groups.
As a doctor can I just say Armie .. you are giving off serious therapist vibes in both these episodes ..
You engage in active listening and are very patient and articulate..
You are enough as you are by the way.. ❤
As the child of a diagnosed malignant overt narcissist raised Southern Baptist - MAN do I feel for him.
……..you can’t be serious…😂😂😂
@@heatherlukhard9505FACTS!!!
Youre not a doctor
He surely is a being such a patient & good listener. Has to be this with a person who is always right ; soo perfect & utterly self centered.
'Had to pretend' with phone calls. She means..lie!
What a hero: 'I chose to forgive him'. She listened to that part of the Bible but she didn't know how to respect & let him be the head of household.
I can tell this Podcast is going to be my new addiction. So happy to see Armie Hammer has taken his recovery so seriously - and they say “people don’t change” … here’s the evidence they do.
She's not hearing a thing he's saying. I come from the same type of evangelical family, and this is my father. Thanks for sharing!
Oh Armie... :( I just understood you more after this. Please believe a lot of people are seeing you and loving you
Armie, huge respect. Your sensitivity is amazing. You’re clearly on the right path. Forge ahead.
yeah, he articulates the situation very accurately. Even Jesus didn't keep talking like this. He spoke with principles, and real issues. Mothers need to protect their kids and they just don't, they just get filled with their own importance.
Never thought I would feel so much empathy for Armie Hammer.
you were wrong about him.
I've always known that he was a sweet sweet man. People just love to jump in any bandwagons they see purely because most people just love to hate others. But I've always known that he was special and that he has always given me a lot of kind vibes regardless what others might believe about him.
🫵 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂 gotta love life's lil surprises... 😉
I know .. I’m crying for him ! EVIL WITCH
@@Trailerwizard69?
To every adult watching this. If you discover that child abuse you must report it to the police or Child protective services. The church can not “handle it.”
I agree but in all reality,when this happened,we didn't have all the info we do now. I am not saying how Dru handled it is ok but I do understand her just wanting this man to be far away from her precious son,I went thru some things very similar around the same timeframe and the DA of the county we are in told us of how hard legal proceedings would be on my child,my Son was a basketball prodigy who was very well known in the community,even the misguided therapist we used advised us against putting my Child through all the legal wrangling that would ensue
What more info do you need? It’s wrong, it is the adults responsibility to protect children, whether with legalities or old school “street justice.” Excuses…
@@lhamil6 public schools have a 100x higher rate of abuse than churches. And we haven’t even brought up in the family sexual abuse. It’s all terrible. So stop picking on believers in God. Nowadays the catholic church’s model for dealing with abuse is so admired that companies have adopted it. Also CPS is a joke which shows you have no idea what you’re taking about. I know so much abuse that CPS just never looks into. You should educate yourself more
I actually feel really bad for him after this. She's an absolute nightmare. She's so pleased with herself and never wrong. She seems to care more about making sure she looks Godly and perfect, than allowing room for his feelings and trauma. Ugh. Everyone puts so much focus on the Hammer family history, but I think she has caused much more trauma for him than any of that ever could. His actions make so much more sense now.
Exactly. I might not want to eat people or whatever but I definitely have issues from being raised by a narcissistic mother.
Boy she has a problem exhibiting love and endearment
What would really back her noodle is that Christ never said that, That was put in there by man to control the ppl for not seeking knowledge
😅😅😅😅 yes let’s all eat people boo hooo 😅
No wonder why he had problems. Narcissistic mothers can never change.
Wow. This interview answers a lot of questions. Sorry that Armie has to live with this.
No contact is the only solution. I'm no contact and I found myself and my happiness.
@@peachesandpoets It’s not that story at all. They need more contact, not “no contact”.
@@DariaShatovон пытался найти контакт с ней всю свою жизнь....но она неисправима....по-этому только "не контакт"...Это "токсичная мама".... которая не видит своего сына перед с собой..
@@ОльгаИванова-ч2т4ж Зря вы так. Не стоит бросаться оскорблениями в адрес незнакомых вам людей. Не подпадайте под влияние модных псевдопсихологических трендов.
He's banging his head against a brick wall there is no getting through to her
His mother is absent metaphorically speaking. She doesn't even listen to what he is saying. She sounds like a parrot who repeats words and has totally lost the meaning of what she is preaching. The poor guy is trying to get through to her, but I doubt that he succeeded.
Its amazing that Dru has this holier than though attitude towards her son. I just dont get that sense of warmth and compassion from her. He's crying out for acceptance and approval from his mother and to come to terms with what happened to him as a teen and in church and all she can do is continue to preach at him. Where was she as a mother when she needed to protect him? Its very sad. There is no way that Armie can have the same relationship with christ after everything that he has been through. Thank you so much for sharing your story and having such a raw and emotional conversation about family secrets that not many wish to expose!
As someone who also has an extremely “religious” (born again) parent… I relate deeply to this discussion. They have also left me bibles in my house, quotes from the Bible in birthday cards/holiday cards, and critique my own spiritual practice of many years. Now we have a good relationship like you do with your Mom, but we do stay away from religious topics in general. We also compromise and listen to smooth jazz in the car. 😂 Thanks for sharing this discussion Armie, as I know it was uncomfortable in parts for you. Namaste. 🙏
Ugh I was partially raised by "religious" hypocrites. It's a difficult cognitive dissonance to rectify.
Your mother is using “Jesus “ as her shield Sadly I believe she is a phony, a narcissist, and in huge denial about her entire life. I felt it immediately upon meeting her and
your father many many years ago ! Her body language even expresses her obstinance and refusal to accept your point of view, sadly.
If you can believe it, I’ve never listened to a podcast. But I was very intrigued and pleasantly surprised. This was so raw so authentic and I love the interaction between you and your mom. I look forward to every episode no matter who you’re talking to. I’ve always rooted for you Armie,and I can’t wait to see you. Acting again where you belong.
I'm so glad Armie has established boundaries to his mother because oh boy...
He does a brilliant job here of keeping them up too, well done Armie!
I can’t stand Dru! She knows how to play the ostrich that puts its head in the sand - Christian my a**
Boundaries is a must for Armie, if he wants to keep his sanity. Well done Armie, you know exactly the barriers with your mum. You will find other nurturing and accepting women as mother figures, you will. Not all mothers are like this.
Armie, we see you and love you for who you are ❤️
Much love and respect, Armie!
This podcast was so useful for understanding some dynamics I have with my mother I literally gained compassion for myself.
Aww totally.. Bless him ❤
so glad armie is back at work, these podcasts are awesome...
This was hard to watch. As a parent my sole purpose in life has always been to love, protect, understand and accept my daughter for who she is. Armie, I really admire you for being able to process and accept your mother's failures.
I always knew you had a heart of gold!
All he wants is a normal conversation with his mom
He can't have one because she is a narcissist.
@@cindyswanson5874 And all he gets is Jesus. 😅😂
@@elizabethmadron1336My dad is a diagnosed clinical malignant overt narcissist. I def wouldn't say that. She may have a few tendencies but I believe it's more evangelical indoctrination at play. She dismisses a lot & doesn't really respect Armie's grown formed beliefs.
@@BrewLee And you, what would your topic be? Oh, I know, it would be about movies, children's cartoons, anime or some Hollywood gossip. Stop acting cool, because you're just an empty person with no purpose.
@Rodrigodopensandocalm lol. Look at you going around internet telling people they are empty and assuming they like anime xD way to go champ. Bless you and have a nice day buddy. Invite Jesus to your heart it will cure the need to project onto other people.
Armie, your spiritual journey is your own, don’t let your mother take that away.
Exactly, if she doesn’t like your apartment or your spiritual objects, well she should leave you alone then!
Wow. My heart breaks for you. And I admire your patience, the way you continue to try to have a conversation with your mother.
It is frustrating to watch, I can only imagine how it must feel for you.
❤
This son is screaming for his mother's love and understanding, and all what he gets is preachment.
@@biljanaavramovic9579 I partially agree with you. I think Armie and Dru are simply speaking different languages, but they speak the same message to each other. It’s just they don’t know how to translate it from a different dialect, hence there is this confusion between them. They are both amazing, it’s just… they need an interpreter and there none around, unfortunately :)
And snooty criticism
Exactly the way she takes shots at him and the life he’s building for himself is so disrespectful.
@@ukrainianworld236 she is not amazing. She's a borderline sociopath
@@ukrainianworld236i bet youre an amazing person ;) dumbass
Nothing can change my opinion about Armie. He is a good guy and loving father, and I'm happy to see him coming back ❤
It's the hurt little boy in Armie talking, processing, and looking for healing, closure, and understanding. I wish him all the very best and may he find his peace!
He's not a hurt little boy anymore, nor will he ever be again. But with his mother, he will never find connection, she's not interested in connection. She's interested in status, a polished facade, she's interested in arrogance and pride
This was very intense to listen to. Armie is such a well spoken person. The wording of his thoughts despite all the emotions, feelings, and pain behind them is exquisite. His calling might be acting but I think that a much greater calling of his is rebuilding his life, healing himself, owning and living his true personality, and inspiring others as well as helping them heal equally in the process.
I’m heartbroken to hear all of this, and heartbroken that your mother cannot truly accept you and see you for who you are. She is stuck in an old paradigm. Meanwhile, you have so much patience for her while also keeping strong boundaries. This is hard for most to do. I admire your strength to not only have this conversation, but to have it publicly. It shows your integrity. Onwards and upwards, Armie❤❤❤
She is toxic and not healthy for him to be around, she does not let him be himself...
This is incredible...and I don't know how you do this with your mom, Armie. You were so patient with her and you worded your responses to her beautifully. She is an evangelist first, a mom second. I know you know that this is narcissism more than it is about her faith. I am sorry if this offends, but it is plain as day. While I hope your mother reads this, I seriously doubt she will. Narcissists cannot see themselves or the world in a way that makes sense to the rest of us. There is no cure and no viable treatment. She uses God/Christ like others use wealth, politics, skin color...you name it...and all of this is absolutely antithetical to Christ's teachings. She has no idea the damage she is doing.
Narcissism is too common of a disorder among our parents’ generation. Yet, we are the adults in the room now and need to be mature enough to deal with our own shortcomings regardless. It’s not our business to fix our parents. Let them be, they did their best.
@@ukrainianworld236 you are so right. I want to see Armie create healthy boundaries as he makes his way in his new world. We don't have a lot of information about this very thing...when there is still active contact with a narcissistic parent...and even more complicated when they think they have been annointed by God.
@@ukrainianworld236 imo, she could do the same for him. Let him just be. He's also doing his best. And he articulated his thoughts in such a good manner without blaming anyone. I couldn't say the same with her in this conversation. She says here, she's accepting and taking accountability, but also very defiant. At least she could accept his living situation, he's rebuilding his whole life without taking the easy road, all on his own. That's very admirable. Overall heartbreaking though..
@@ganaani6621 I hear you, yet let me tell you, Dru is an angel compared to most in her generation I know, including my own parents. She is a mom and she will continue being a mom the way she knows. Yes, there is some rigidity in her approach but that how she was brought up. Armie needs to learn to see through this without judgment and without being hurt. I find the fact she keeps gifting him Bibles adorable - her message is not wrong, it’s just the way she presents this message to him (and obviously has been all her life) is not the best approach that would work for him and his genetics - if anything, it transcribes into some sort of resentment. I so understand them both! There are certain minor things that Armie needs to come to understanding - and it looks like he is trying hard to get there - I just see he is surrounded by people who are good folks and wish him best, but they themselves are stuck on the same level as he himself, and he needs to have a little bit more help from someone who has moved on to the next one already. In short, both Dru and Armie are awesome, and I wish I could help them both to clear this final hurdle :) Most modern day psychologists and counselors are on the wrong track there.
@@ukrainianworld236You can’t tell someome not to get hurt by something . That’s beyond anyone’s control.
I never thought I would know all this about Armie and his mom! The episode was a masterpiece, I loved their honesty and interaction. It deserves all the praise❤❤
Thank you for sharing your story Mr. Hammer. You are not the only one.
I honestly love this interview. You can tell Armie has had a LOT of therapy. His mom is relentless and Armie is trying so hard to keep his boundaries. I understand wanting to give testimony but the most evolved people, spiritually, understand it’s a path you find entirely on your own and you’re meant to find your way to God by doing your own work. No one can give you a cheat code. It’s part of your duty to your higher self and It’s necessary for your true purpose. Arnie’s mom is actively trying to derail this, and that’s not of God; period.
Still listening to this episode but Armie speaking to his mom and his mom finding every moment to preach and excuse herself with her beliefs is giving flashbacks of my own relationship with my mom. Stay strong brother ✊🏾
Amazing podcast! Thank you very much for sharing ❤thank you and love you 😘
I need part 2. This is deep psychoanalysis.
That was an incredible episode! My heart goes out to Armie and what he had to endure. You can tell was not easy for him to open up an get deeper with his mother. Love you Armie ❤
Armie I am totally speechless, this podcast is such a huge and worthful thing you're doing! how much empathy I feel with you now! I am a muslim and I used to have a mother exactly like yours, my mother never tried to understand me as a teenager with my natural needs and my natural being and constantly tried to make a religious figure of me and that hurt me soo much and caused weird happenings and traumas in my life! I think your mother's approach for living is more responsible for what happened to you than your dad's
This is so heartbreaking. I am so sorry.
I love Armies candour & wit & his ability to navigate around the more difficult parts of this interview without disrespecting his Mum. ❤
I love this!!! I met your Aunt and your Mom because I went to ORU!! Your family is the best! And I love you are being SO real here!
Armie, thanks so much for sharing these important conversations. I think you articulated your position with great nuance. I'm sure your mother loves you dearly, but it is clear from watching that her dealings with you have more of a pastoral than a maternal character, as you stated. There is almost an icy quality to her spiritual beliefs, whereas you come across as far warmer and more loving. Looking forward to Part Two. Best wishes from Scotland!
My goodness. You have the patience of the saint she wants you to be to put up with the cult-indoctrination levels of zealotry and self-righteousness rolling out of this woman. More power to you man.
Armie, you are sensitive. It shows, it feels. I understand that you had to defend yourself from everything and everyone. But... you have a generous heart. And generous hearts, as we know, know how to love. It is so difficult to tell your story and to entrust your fragilities to those who listen to you. Thank you, beautiful soul.
I've fully been waiting since last week for this to come out! New favourite podcast!
Armie is soooooo well spoken, thoughtful, patient and open minded to the best of his ability in this conversation, I give him SO much credit for even being willing to sit down and talk with someone who is so closed off to anything other than their "one truth". This is something I would absolutely not be able to do and I know it's his mother but damn, this conversation speak volumes to the growth he's made. He deserves a lot of credit for showing up for this and in this way.
Thank you for this...EVERYTHING after "BUT" is trashed...I think Armie, you've really come a long way..
She's still protecting the place where you got sexually assaulted in. I believe when you said you felt unprotected because she's still taking their side till now. My heart goes out to you.
This interview reminds me of talks with my Dad. You know the love's there, but sometimes you just can't see eye to eye. Such is life. Thank you for the insightful podcast.
@@MichMeister16 if you have to hide your own faith in your own home in order to have a conversation with someone (edit: not just someone - your own mother), is it really love?
Doubt.
Son: It really hurt me that you can't look at people without reducing them to your relationship with church. And I feel like a failure because you literally want me to become modern Jesus and win over thousands of people to join church.
(The only reason the mother wants her son to win and grow is to complete her goals). WORD.
Mother: I want to share the love of Jesus because there is a lot of hurting in this world.
LITERALLY
Armie. If you are reading this. I wholeheartedly thank you for your bravery to do such a podcast.
Especially the part where you say then reasons you felt like you were never enough... After listening to this podcast, I actually have more compassion for myself.
Tolstoy said "Every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way".
I'm with you Armie. Thank you for this difficult episode.
I'm really really looking forward to your new film on screen😊
I’m only 2 minutes in and I’m already glad I tuned in. My dad is a preacher and I wish I’d had the courage to set that boundary. I need a father not a preacher. Oh crap, AND he has ties to Oral Roberts. This is going to be an interesting conversation.
I feel that Armie recognizes the mechanical thought process that his mother has, but doesn't recognize the implications of it. He seeks her out, he tries to poke the shell to see who's underneath, and finds only another layer of the shell. There is no core to the shell, just a system of behaviours, but he clings to the hope that he will find his real mother in Dru. Dru is not altogether there, and will never be.
Well said
What an awful thing to say. She clearly loves her son, and he clearly knows it. I've been exactly where Armie is, my mother is a lot like Dru, and I now realise how much she loved me the whole time.
Dru!
The only expectation from a parent (mother) is UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!!! A parent can ONLY want their child to be HAPPY with their choice (job, partner, religion etc.)
While the child is small, protect it from God and man - that's your job. When he grows up, you have then support him (just if he asks). You can't fight his battles, you can't solve his problems, you can't control his life (you can't tell him he has a crappy apartment)! THIS IS HIS LIFE! Let him live his life! If he stumbles (he will) you lift it up - and "love it more than EVERYTHING"!!! (Beautiful boy - the most touching film about parental love)
Armie!
All my respect to you.
It must have been awfully hard to to preserve yourself around a parent like that. You are lucky that your grandmother loved and accepted you unconditionally.
I hope that your chosen family (friends) give you more acceptance and love! 💙
Armie handled this really well, after 20min I was done w her but watched until the end
Wow, this is exactly how my mother and I are. I felt like I was watching my mom and me talking.
Wow, what an emotional roller-coaster ride! I'm floored by Armie's bravery, boldness, vulnerability and nearly inhuman strength. It's absolutely admirable how he pulled through all this sh*t and came out a better person.
I really wish that only good things happen to him from now on. He's one of a few people who truly deserve this.
Keep your boundaries Armie! There’s nothing wrong with telling people where the line is and when they’re crossing it. It’s impressive how patient and respectful you are through this interview. Giving someone multiple bibles is ridiculous! And pushing your religion onto others is never ok. You’re amazing Armie, sending good vibes 🤗💜💕
I can so relate to this, Armie. My mom does this to me all the time. Just know you are definitely not alone in dealing with over bearing Christian mothers. Keep on keepin on brother.
Thank you both for sharing this - it must have been hard. Armie, my admiration for you continues to grow - sending support on your path.
Armie you are a better person than I am because I could not sit there and listen to that and remain so calm. But I guess you have a lifetime of practice. You have even more of my admiration for living with that. Sending love and support always.
Armie has been through so much, he is so brave and i just have to say - i love this podcast, it shows us that he is incredibly well-spoken, smart, emotional human. We love u🤍
As a person with a narcissistic mom, I recognize a lot in this interview. Whenever my mom acknowledges her mistakes and takes 100% responsibility it’s just so she can tell herself she’s not that bad. It’s not because she’s truly sorry for what she’s done. And still she tries to enforce her way of living on me. I have to be a copy of her, that’s really what is best for me according to my mom. Because she is perfect of course. Her views are the right views. Thank you for making this podcast!!!
How have you survived any of this? I applaud you for trying to have a sane conversation with this woman. Keep meditating. You are not what anyone labels you. And I really hope you've read Gary Zukov's work. You should try to interview him.
That would be a great interview.
I apologize for my mistyping 'Zukav' -- and I hope I am not overstepping my bounds but I emailed mr Zukav about his potential availability
I’m so glad these conversations are being had. You can feel armie’s genuine hurt , while still having compassion for his mom, meeting her where she’s at. The conversation about the pastor was painful for this empath to watch, but I imagine heart to many. Keep these coming ❤ everyone deserves a chance to tell their story
Welcome back Armie!
Having come from an evangelical background, with similar experiences, the 4 bibles (Oral Roberts Yikes) is something that would have happened in the past. As a therapist Armie, I want to commend you for handling this interview with open communication, reflective listening and boundary setting. Looking forward to see what topics you'll be addressing in the future
yesss!! i’m so glad you kept bringing her back to what you’re saying. it’s really fucking hard. and they really can’t NOT preach, can they? it’s filler because they don’t want to be confronted and they can’t be wrong.
Armie, this conversation was incredibly mature. My husband and I were so impressed by how patient and non-judgmental you were. I’m deeply sorry for the pain and defamation you experienced. I hope you find healing and a thriving career after everything you've been through. The world is starting to realize that, despite some mistakes, we only knew half the story. Love your podcast and can’t wait to see you back on the big screen!
You are so good at articulating your perspective and you graciously listen to your mom. I can see your love for her and ability to be patient and reign things back to the subject! Well done! May this season continue to bring restoration, healing and peace to every area of your life! ❤
Oh, Armie. My heart goes out to you.
Congratulations to you for all the work you are doing - and the progress you are making - on healing. May you continue to make and hold firm to your boundaries.
This is true growth and a beautiful journey you’re on, I think you will be the best version of yourself after this. You showed real patience…..
Both Armie and his mom are so impressive and honest. This was incredible to witness, thank you. I cannot fathom the mean comments about his mom: she is honest, patient, so proud of her son, complimentary, and quick to confess her failings as a mom. I'm sorry for those who mistake her patience and poise for coldness. They should rewatch with an open mind--and heart.
I feel heartbroken for him. There is this steel wall that he's trying to demolish and access his mother's heart.
I have a similar mother and mother-in-law. I know there's no fix for this. I'm sorry. The only way is to live your life and leave her be. She's just unable to connect and unwilling to work on it.
I wish you healing and love, and I know you'll be fine.
Thanks for sharing. This will help many in similar situations.
@@giedrebeniute4051 well said 💔
yes, she's unwilling and unable
Relentless is the word that comes to mind. wow! May the Force be with you, Armie.
Armie, you are an incredible man with such inner strength and immense patience. Don't have nice words to say about your mother.. this podcast explains a lot. You deserve the best things and your career back. I hope many acting offers to come your way 🤞
I'm honestly speechless. The conversation between was so genuine and relatable-it really resonated with me. Hearing them discuss his childhood, with both of them being so well-spoken and open, felt like I was listening to a conversation I've had with my own mom. I loved his mom's honesty, especially how she reflects on her past and isn’t afraid to acknowledge mistakes. And the way she ties everything back to religion-just like my mom does-made it all the more relatable. It was refreshing to see such vulnerability, and I can't wait for part two!
Incredible, this was so moving, you have such clarity of thought, eagerly waiting for the next episode.
Wish you all the success you so truly deserve🙏
With some parents, trying to get them to accept you for who you are is like trying to get blood from a stone. It's not going to happen, so you might as well stop banging your head against the wall. Listening to this actually validated my own decision to go extreme limited contact with my mother. Thank You!
It’s incredibly brave for them to have this conversation at all, let alone publicly.
This was an extremely raw and refreshing podcast, Armie. A lot of things makes total sense now after just the second episode. Thank you for having the courage to wear your heart on your sleeve for the world to see. I'm looking forward to seeing more! ❤
The first time I heard of this woman was Armie’s 2020 tweets about waking up to her pouring oil on him while speaking in tongues, to pray the demons away. A moment to consider how disorienting and disturbing that would be for anyone to see their parent like that. This was when Armie had just escaped lockdown with his ex-wife and - as he says here - needed his mom, not a pastor. At a time when people would’ve given anything to be closer to their families, she chose to treat her struggling son like that and he ultimately had to get away from her too. She has also said similar to his co-stars and ex girlfriends, based on their quoting her talking to them about her own son being “demonic” or “possessed” and other such nonsense. She owes Armie an apology (several, actually). I’m glad to see she admitted to failing him as a child at least. I admit I was ambivalent about how she has become such a part of his life again recently. BUT seeing this discussion and the way Armie is completely awake to her ways and knows exactly how to call her out on them, at least gives me relief that he knows she will never change and she will never put her children before her faith. Sad, but true. Armie, please know that you do not need this woman’s approval or validation to be happy and that you can believe in whatever you want. It’s your life, not hers. You do not owe this woman anything, even if she is your parent. She talks about choices, everyone having a choice. She should consider that her choice was to put religion ahead of parenthood. Your son is begging you to just love him and you refuse. Did Jesus tell you to do that, Dru? Of course not. I’m pretty sure it’s also not very Godly of you to judge your son’s house because it’s not good enough for your expensive tastes. He had to start his life over after it was decimated and you’re worried about his apartment? His “pagan gods”? Good god woman your son is lucky to be alive and this is what you focus on?
I'm really enjoying watching these podcasts and getting to learn more about you, your life, etc. Keep up with the great work! I have always been a huge fan and supporter of you.
Virtual hug, man... Big one!
No matter how old we are our mom will always be our mom. Loved those interruptions about the place he lives; I got them myself.
Armie, I have so much respect for you choosing to share this episode. I can't imagine how hard it must have been to document a bid for connection while knowing that it would be rejected. I admire that you're able to empathize with your mother, and be patient with her.
I can tell how much your mother loves you, and while her approach to connection is misguided, she's showing her love the only way she knows how.
I think that the love that you two share radiates in this episode despite the very clear differences between you two. In you I see a love that strives to understand, and in your mother, I see a love that strives to protect. The love we share with our families isn't always ideal, but it is undeniable.
I don’t see anything being rejected here. Dru is not rejecting Armie at all. Is she pointing out the ways she doesn’t think are right for him? You bet. And yes, unfortunately, she is rigid in her approach. Just remember, she is not a 25 year old, and she is not his girlfriend or groupie.
Is Armie in need of different expression of her love? Yes, he clearly is. Is it fair for him to expect that from Dru? Not anymore. Accepting your mom the way she is is a step in the right direction at this point in his life. Learning to understand why she is the way she is is the next step. Then, ideally, he could hear what she is trying to tell him, instead of resenting her message. Their hearts are in the right place, yet their communication is still broken.
@@DariaShatov Yes, except living with that woman as a child and trying to explain to his mother about the traumas and the only thing that occurred to him at the time was to find a wife to get rid of "those demonic traumas" as she once said. maybe not a good idea. This woman is like Elizabeth "the perfect picture, the idyllic family" and everything that comes out of that is just "bury it and forget it." No, traumas do not disappear on their own, even by attending therapy there is a good chance that old wounds can resurface.
I'm not even sure how to respond to this. I wasn't trying to villainize his mother but I disagree that Armie has to do any of what you wrote. He's choosing to do so despite knowing the outcome and that's what I'm commending him for.
@@DariaShatovConsidering what he’s just been through, I think she could put the pastor cosplay away for two seconds and just tell her son she loves him. For goodness sake.
@@antoniabanegasnavarro968 True. I won’t argue with that at all.
Know that whatever happens in your life, you can always and forever recover from it, only death is inevitable but this is really beautiful to see that you are trying again, and this whole idea of a podcast is really amazing. I really like the videos ❤
Armie, I am so sorry that you have to deal with this individual. I feel like this accounts for so much of your life experiences. I cannot believe how strong you must be to have put up with this insanity. You have my respect.
I understand that the situation might seem difficult from the outside, and I respect the support you want to express for Armie. That being said, I think it’s important to point out that his mother has made an effort to remain open to dialogue, even if her religious beliefs may come across as rigid. The calm manner in which she expressed herself shows that she is trying to maintain a relationship with her son. She is not insane; she is aligned with her beliefs, and we should also respect her convictions.
Hello Armie, I am so glad that I have seen this podcast. Wow, this has given me SO much insight & I now feel that I understand you. I won't say much more but I COMPLETELY empathise with you. Armie, I look forward to being able to go to the cinema to watch you in films again. Best wishes from UK
It's good that they talk about the past and boundaries, it helps them both with the healing process. Mom kind of tries to twist things around, her memories are different than his; it sounds like she's disregarding Armie's feelings and choices. It takes courage to discuss that past trauma, so kudos to Armie! He is so eloquent and clear in thoughts, she really doesn't sound like a mother, but a pastor waiting for him to convert and agree with her.
Goodness I love this guy. Would love to just shake his hand and say you go for it
Loved this interview and the relationship you have with your mother. She is an incredible woman. God bless you both.
Thanks for sharing this Armie! Wishing you much fulfilment, happiness and healing on your own spiritual journey.
OMG!! This is heartbreaking. Armie has come along way because I couldn’t have handled this for over an hour. I might’ve ripped all of my hair out. Utterly sad but eye widening.
You are incredible. So mindful and strong. It is also very hard to watch how she doesn't accept you... it must be painful and hard to take on. You are so sincere and open,so honest. I have so much respect for that
Wow... I respect you for having shared this conversation with the world. I have no doubt that she loves you 100 % yet what I have learnt in life is that every person's 100 % differ, meaning every person can only give what they can. For them it's 100 yet for the child these 100% can feel like they're only getting 10. Because what every person can give emotionally is completely different. I feel like this beautiful woman has filled all the emotional voids and EQ deficits with her faith in order to feel complete. Like filling sand in a box of pebbles. To fill it up and have a purpose. She probably gave all she could, but you two are so extremely different people (emotionally) that it would never have been enough for you. From her standpoint she gave it all. From your standpoint she didn't give enough. It's because your currencies are too divergent. The fact that she feels like a prophet (always being right and, claiming, that if it's not now then you'll see one day that she was) is not helping this communicative process. But it is not her fault. And it's not yours. You two are incompatible on an emotional level. Probably you two would never been friends if you met each other somewhere being total strangers. Yet you're related and it's "supposed to" work. Well, it does not. And, sadly, it often does not. And many people watching this podcast will see themselves either in you or in her.
This was such a powerful conversation and I really respect both Armie and Dru for demonstrating how to have a civil and respectful discussion with boundaries and differing viewpoints. I also really appreciate both for sharing so vulnerably. I like that even though Dru has very strong beliefs, she’s not the type to disown or speak hatefully of her child for having different views or life experiences as, unfortunately, some “religious” parents will hypocritically do. I also commend her for taking ownership of some things she now sees she could’ve done differently (like at 20:53 and 58:12). I related a lot to Armie here, including trying to navigate through communication with a parent and wanting to feel seen and valued as you are, as well as trying to make sense of and come to terms with choices parents made when we were younger.
I can tell you have a good heart, Armie, and I never doubted that even during the accusations. It was sweet to hear the story from your mom about what you’re like on set - I’m not surprised, but it is further proof I was right in my intuition about you 🙂 It’s so great to not only have you back in the public sphere but to also have the gift of you sharing so candidly. I’m really looking forward to future episodes as well as any other projects you set your sights on 👏
3 BC - Jesus touches the lepper.
AD 2024 - Snob mother can't stand her son living in a modest apartment and gives him shit about it.
Praise the Lord for his teachings are great, and he works in mysterious ways!
I am sorry for spamming comments, Armie, but this is the most valuable podcast episode I ever saw.
She is really worried about how it will make her look. Him living there.
If my son came through hell in one piece, he can live in whatever shoebox apartment he wants as long as he’s OKAY!
This is my favorite Desperate Housewives episode. Too WASPy, loving it