I never wanted a divorce. But I could not stop my ex wife from having multiple affairs and exiting the marriage. It was the most painful experience in my life. However, there was beauty in the suffering and my relationship with God reached new levels because of it
Ditto brother, same situation!! It’s heartbreaking! BUT GOD!!! I begin to walk in my purpose when I finally let go of the marriage. Prayers for you all! ❤
Same here. I had all biblical grounds for divorce and didn't want it, but he didn't want to honor the marriage and abandoned me again. It was dark and traumatic, but the Lord was with me the whole time and He provided for me to support my kids and myself afterward. He's been so good to me before, during and after the divorce... and once I let it go, I met an amazing man at church.
@@gustavsorensen9301 The topic is on the video is on divorce and marriage...hence I spoke on that issue. Ofcourse being a better person is what people should chase.
@@Matt-28 Your point is well-taken. Women these days want the Joanna Gaines wedding. They want to marry in a fancy barn with their 200 TikTok-loving friends.
divorce, is not a sin....the options are....reconcile, or remain unmarried.....remarriage is....and one can not be forgiven, unless the sin....adultery, is forsaken.....
It’s not that black and white. Just as killing/murder are not always the same. Or a non virgin marrying is allowed. Unbelievers are not joined by God. If one of them becomes a believer THEN the marriage is at least sanctified-if they are pleased to dwell! Marriage is not joined by God unless they are believers. He has never made covenants with unbelievers. It’s obviously foolishness because if he did then he would be even marriages that are done in evil like Satanists.,
Is it according to your revelation or according to scriptures,the only unpardonable sin is very clear in the scripture that is to speak against the Holy Spirit,therefore your revelation is false. If it's unpardonable why Jesus said one cannot divorce unless in the matter of udultry? and Paul talked about desertion if one spouse decide to leave the other is no longer bound to that marriage. When you have been lucky not to go through what others have gone through in marriage you will speak to make others to feel like loosers or sinners. Udultry and desertion are conditions for biblical divorce.
@@fonelo2215 Violence would be considered divorcible, after which, both parties can get remarried. Obviously, if one remains violent, that one is not saved. But the other one is free to remarry. Anyone who says different believes the devil's lies about divorce and remarriage. Saved people believe what God says to them. Double minded churchgoers are easily fooled by the devil's interpretation of scripture.
There are so many different scenarios. What if you want to be reconciled to an ex spouse but not only are they now an atheist but engaged to someone else and you’ve repented from the divorce situation that had taken place? I understand being single is very valuable, and that it draws you closer in your relationship to God, but I can’t believe that if I met a godly man and wanted to marry him that it would be a sin in God‘s eyes given my past situation.
This made me cry. Thank you. Ok, please don’t judge me. I know I’m a horrible person….or did horrible things. Idk why I’m even going to spew this out…..I was a heroin addict/stripper/sex work and was also abused as a young girl. I got clean at 21, but I was still a mess. I believed in Christ, I got baptized, I went to church, believed with my whole heart, bible study, I felt God move in my life. It was AWESOME!!! Then……I met a guy. And I was fixated on getting married. I knew I shouldn’t, I had that alarm in my gut going off. But “I want what I want”. Had my first baby, lost my mind after. Then had an affair. Quit my job, reconciled. Had another baby and went off the deep end again. More affairs, like a sex addict. Because of the deep spiritual pain that put me in. I picked up heroin again, and continued to shoot dope for 8 years after being clean for 9 years. 😢HOW AWFUL!! Selling. Drugs, doing drugs and some sex work. Please don’t think I’m disgusting. Well, I guess I was. FINALLY got sober again PRAISE GOD!! Oh lord, I thought I was gonna DIE!! Overdosed twice with paramedics and narcan. Met a man, fell in love, got pregnant right away, had two babies. Instead of losing my mind this time I STAYED sober!! I want to remarry. I know, my order is all messed up. I said to myself, I got a new life AGAIN!! How good is god to me?! But idk what to do. I want to get married but I also don’t want to be living in a continuous state of sin. I feel like I have a new life and should continue moving forward. Stop looking back. I have a long healing process ahead of me and hate myself for all the terrible things I’ve done. I NEVER EVER want to be that person again. EVER. I probably shouldn’t have said all that. But it’s real and it happened. Can you please say a prayer for me and my children? Thank you.
Two months old but cannot bypass this. Prayers for you, friend. You have repented. God has made you clean. You aren't what you once were. Rather, you are a new creation and that is what the Father sees. He is a perfect Father who loves you completely and only wants good for you. He can give you the desires of your heart when you surrender to Him. I believe He can give you a joyous union and help you raise those babies in Him.
Brother Allen Thank you so much for this video. Eight years ago I went through a divorce that I did not want. I am a single father and trusting Christ to lead me to find the right woman to marry. Constantly battle condemnation since I never wanted to get divorced... it's like someone amputated my limbs and I had no say on that decision.
Someone likened it to pulling apart a piece of cardboard, it can never really come apart clean. I am separated and one night I was in bed and it just felt soul tearing. I'm still praying God.
@@MatthewKnight05 try the correct....term.....not under bondage is not the same as not bound....something that the writer had just explained.....one is bound to the other as long as the other one is alive....
@@philipbuckley759 No, they are not. If one is loosed, they can remarry. 1 Corinthians 7:27,28a. Read with understanding. If one is loosed, they were married, hence they are not virgins.
@@michaelalbertson7457 Wrong. Jesus in Mark 10:10-11 says "Who soever shall divorce his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall divorce her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery." You cannot remarry if your spouse is still alive. 1 Corinthians 9:39 "The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the lord."
The Bible is clear the only way to Remarry is if the Spouse dies. I have a playlist of over 400 studies on this from many Pastors and teachers on this. The main church is Lukewarm and won't listen to Jesus on this. Pay attention to his words. It's his opinion not biblical. Even if someone divorces, the Bible mentions no where at all in any scriptures you can remarry unless the Spouse dies.
There is difference between forgiveness only and staying in what Jesus calls adultery. You cannot stay in adultery just because you confessed the Sin. The second part is repentance. Example: you cannot steal something, keep it, ask God to forgive you and not return item. In Divorce, yes you are forgiven but Remarriage is adultery if you had no grounds biblically for Divorce. I also go a step further since Jesus never quantified Remarriage if.... He said, ",Whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery". So Divorce is forgivable but marrying again with first spouse still alive(Covenant Spouse) is still adultery. I know this from experience. I had to Divorce 2nd Spouse based on Remarriage scriptures. It's not easy but you cannot keep what is not yours.💓
@@HopeLives2012 This is absolutely unsound, poor doctrine that has been crippling professing Christians for years. Marriage being indissoluble is rooted in Catholicism and certainly is NOT biblical. Once you get legally divorced (whether biblically justified or not), you are no longer in covenant with that person. Period. You referenced Jesus's teaching on divorce in Matthew's gospel (chptrs 5 &19). Jesus is clearly condemning those who divorce their spouses (in this specific context, Jewish men divorcing their wives) frivolously. Additionally, he is explaining the damage it would cause to the woman who would be stigmatized as an adulterer. Anyone that married her would also be unfairly stigmatized as an adulterer. What does this mean practically? Unjust divorces. or divorces period, have a ripple effect, affecting the innocent spouse, kids, family members, friends, future relationships, etc. Yet, God is perfectly just, merciful, gracious, and loving. If one acknowledges his sin and repents, God forgives. And that includes divorce. How silly is it to compare theft to marriage? In elementary terms, theft is bad. It is sinful. Marriage, on the other hand, is good. It is a beautiful gift from our God. With that being said, can you mess up a good thing, repent, and still be eligible for that good thing? Absolutely. Ever read the parable of the Prodigal Son? Lastly, to think one must divorce from their current spouse in order to retain salvation is absurd, sinful, and unbiblical. This is taught no where in scripture. It rather demonstrates lack of faith in the works and personhood of Jesus Christ. Remember, He is the sole reason why any of us can be saved at all. Let's not add our works to His as means for salvation lest we be in blatant, dangerous error.
My wife has rejected me for 32 years and whenever I complained, she vilified me endlessly for my anger and frustration. Because of her pain from childhood troubles, she is responsible for nothing! As a man I am responsible for everything. It does not matter what horrible childhood I had...
He is leaving out Roman 7:2, A man is bound to his wife as long as he lives. 1 Corinthians 7:38 says the same, the wife and husband are bound until death. 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 says let not the wife depart from the husband if she departs let her remain unmarried or reconciled. The only grounds biblically for remarriage is if someone dies…death.
Firstly: no he doesn’t leave it out, that is literally a quoted section he touches on, complete with on-screen text. But also, aren’t you then equally leaving out 1Corinthians 7 12-16, which is CLEARLY the expressing instructions for divorce besides death? Both are scripture and must be held in proper tension and context. He’s suggesting that the context here would suggest that 10-11 is referring to marriage between 2 believers, while the rest is to an imbalanced marriage. You’re also ignoring Matthew 19:9, where Christ himself isolates adultery as a special circumstance when talking about divorce. The Bible teaches a single absolute truth, but that absolute truth is rarely all the way on one side of an issue like we often want to express divorce. The absolute truth expressed in Scripture requires us to consider all of Scripture’s teaching as context.
Thank you for this series. I was a widow who married a divorced man. I new I was free but kept feeling some weirdness about his divorced status. Thanks for this liberating message. Thanks be to God we're still married (13 years) and believing God for Godly success.
@@TheJude1790 As God can forgive any sin if one confesses to Him, she is free. He is divorced. You believe the living divorced spouse bondage lie, when the law of the land, which came from the Bible, says different. You have not learned 1 John 1:9, nor have you learned 1 Corinthians 7:27,28.
Im 28, i got married to cover up a pregnancy. I only dated my spouse for 3 months before we tied the knot. I didnt really get a chance to know her. Since we been together its been really bad. Theres no love, poor communication, disrespect. We just cant see eye to eye. We both believe in God and the bible and stay together only because of that commandment of staying together. We have gotten to the point that we would rather be dead than stay together. If anyone is reading this please pray for me.
You both believe, then trust God. He loves you so much. Get down on your knees & ask forgiveness for whatever you know you have done wrong (like the disrespect) & repent (turn away from those ways). With God all things are possible. Don't look at what is wrong with your spouse, just do your best to obey God & be the best spouse you can be. Look for opportunities to say thank you & be specific about what it is you appreciate. Show grace (as we all have been shown grace) - unconditional favour. Choose to be happy - flirt, have a sense of humour, choose when you can, to be kind, rather than to be right. Love well. 💒
Pray God lifts the scales from the lukewarm and lost eyes, opens their ears and soften their hearts. Pray God brings revival to the earth. Pray the Lord of Harvest send forth laborers into the harvest. Pray God strengthens His children, gives them more discernment and wakes them up 🆙
Once married, always married until death do us part, no exception. This applies to all human beings, regardless of whether you are a sinner or a saint.
My parents Divorce ruined our lives. It changed the trajectory of who we were supposed to be. It impacted our lives because of the years of stress due to years of pent up hurt and anger. My parents divorce even impacts my brothers children. The true generational curse.
As always Pastor Allen, you present things in a clear, biblical and graceful manner, no matter how difficult the situation. May God continue to grow and bless your ministry and your family!!
Divorce and remarriage are sins, and God will never contradict His word! There are no grounds for divorce, God hates divorce and He said no man should separate what He has brought together. Divorce also leads people to commit remarriage adultery, please repent from this teaching, divorce doesn’t give anyone the freedom to remarry, it just means they are free from being obliged to remain married. Being born again doesn’t give anyone the freedom to remarry because marriage is not a sin, being born again means you repent and become an obedient saint from being a sinner, if you commit wilful sin you will still account for it before God if you don’t stop sinning and repent. Being born again doesn’t mean we are no longer our earthly parent’s children, or parents to our children, so how can being born again mean you’re free to stop being someone’s lawfully wedded spouse before God’s eyes who joined you as one? Lord Jesus Christ said except for reasons of fornication NOT adultery, this man is very crafty and manipulative with words, repent! Luke 16:18 “Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.” Matthew 19:6 “Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” Matthew 19:9 “And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.” Romans 7:3 “So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.”
Very good teaching and this is exactly what I was always taught. Can you talk about how a single, never married person should view marrying someone who is divorced under these different scenarios? This is an issue that many singles, especially older singles, are faced with when dating.
If a married man or married woman who are in a covenant marriage divorce for any reason AND remarry, they are committing adultery. If anyone marries a divorced man or woman, who has a living covenant spouse, he or she is also committing adultery. -- Matthew 19:9, Mark 10:11-12, Luke 16:18 and Romans 7:2-3 Stay clear of divorced people who have a living covenant spouse. If you have never been married or your covenant spouse has died, you may marry a never-married person or someone whose covenant spouse has died. If you marry anyone else, you will be committing adultery. Adultery will prevent you from inheriting the kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9-10 and Galatians 5:19-21).
@Sasha373 I am in the same boat. Not that I ever really dated a divorced man.. but I have come across a few who claimed to be Christians. My experience had been that they enjoy the attention and the ego boost, but for a serious relationship they only wanted a divorced woman.. who supposedly knows it all in the bedroom and has 'proven' her femininity by having kids. It is tragicomical that I have been told I should not limit my options, but be open to a divorced man.. well, I have tried, and it did not end well at all.. the problem is that they do not seem to be open to a single never married woman. Still trusting God to send me a kind man who has not been sleeping around or married before..
Brother Allen you are in the zone with these teachings. People forget that marriage is the example of Christ and his church and if you view it that way you won’t be so quick to try and end it.
I’m divorced. Divorce sucks. Even though it’s been over 5 years, I still feel like I’m tied to him. I wish I could let go. Be careful who you give your heart to. Submit to God fully first. Now I’m not sure whether or not remarrying is his plan for my life.
I grew up in a family where Divorce wasn't an option. As I got older and got married, I felt like I was on cloud 9 and couldn't comprehend the D-word. Not until it happened to me! 7 year itch is what they call it. It was a slow burn of about a year and a half where I was noticing a change in spouses behavior until that one day, I'LL NEVER FORGET, she sat down with me and expressed that she wasn't happy and was ready to leave, and didn't want help (quiet divorce). Spent weeks in prayer and advice to diplomatically tell her the implications of her desertion but felt it was God's will for this to happen. Looking back, I don't disagree. There's a distinction between PERMISSIBLE and BENEFICIAL will. I believe He permitted this to happen since her separation from me, making her the the unfaithful one. I remarried with confidence that God didn't look down on me to one that is faithful. Thanks for the video!
I'm not sure you had grounds for remarriage though. If your wanted wanted to leave, so be it, you can't stand in her way. However so long as she didn't commit adultery on you, that means you're still married to her in the eyes of God and for you to remarry is actually adultery. The best option was just to remain single.
Grocery Grip, Your God is my God. Those other 2 commenters, they have a different god, one who doesn't understand what truly goes on, who doesn't see our hearts. I feel pity for those 2. They need to be saved. They need God's love.
The woman at the well was married 4x so obviously God identified those marriages whether there was adultary involved or not. There are def grounds for divorce and re marriage after adultary as the marriage covenant has already been broken.
My parents divorced for a very different reason. When I was younger my father was very uninvolved in our lives, didn't do his responsibility as far as taking care of us kids, didn't do any house chores, and was constantly berating on my mother. Sometimes he would get physical with her. For the record my mom held a full time job sometimes two jobs at a time to make sure we survived. My father had absolutely no desire of counseling or fixing anything, and made mom severely depressed that she had enough. So one day she kicked him out. I'm not sure if it's biblical or not (I'm still learning), but I think that was Mom's best decision she made as far as her mental health and possibly safety.
Did your mother go to the counseling? For how long and what did she get out of it? Did your father work at all? Was he around the house even if your mom was unhappy with him? There are 2 sides to every story! if you are smart, you would NOT accept your mothers side of the story as the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth! Women have this nasty habit of lying about what is really happening. As a 50 yr old guy, I have been lied about countless times by women to the point I dont trust must of it. some of this can be explained as the typical: women see with pink glasses & men see with blue glasses! We dont see the same thing in the same way! thats fundamental. but women have a half dozen reasons why they would be tempted to lie about that situation! i am sorry if this hurts peoples feelings, but most modern men are walking away from marriage with modern women because of women lying & womens inability to take personal responsibility (according to other peoples definition, not the woman in question's)! So if women want to know why men dont want to get marriaed any more, these are 2 of many reasons! GOD bless your poor dad!
I felt that I need to share this christian book with you whether you're married or not. "Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life" by Townsend.
I grew up in the Southern Baptist church and had a skewed perspective on how submission works and once married always married no matter what happens in the marriage. So, I got married at 19, 1995, and in four years my marriage started turning for the worst. We walked away from the church and started living of the world. Eventually, because of bringing too many worldly things into our marriage it ended. I joined a study, Divorce Care, which helped me forgive and reconcile in my heart with my ex and with God. God also showed me the scripture in Mark 10:9 & Matt 19:6, if God puts it together then nothing can separate it but if God never blessed the union then it will and can be separated. He showed me, He never blew my marriage because it was what I wanted and I didn’t go to Him about it. He showed me that it could have worked if both of us wanted it too but because he didn’t then God released me and gave me peace about it. Thank you for this message. I enjoy listening to your videos.
I wholeheartedly agree with God's Word on Marriage and divorce. The disconnect is in our modern laws which incentivize divorce. What is needed is a complete overhaul overturning of marital / family law. (1) Abolish all forms of alimony / spousal support. Period. No exceptions. (2) Community property only available with proven adultery or physical abuse (not falsely accused). Filing for divorce for any other reason forfeits all property rights. (3) Establish monthly 3rd party financial audits of all child support expenditures to ensure completely used on provision for children. Implement these measures and you will have enduring marriages and healthy families.💯
You haven't mentioned abuse. My husband never laid a finger on me physically, but I was ridiculed, fat-shamed, (he called me a fat pig in front of my then 6 year old daughter). I once spring cleaned the whole house, and he called me lazy because I can't hang a picture straight. I once said to my Dad, "If he blacked my eye just once, I've got him" (Incidentally, I was only about a stone overweight at the time, so hardly morbidly obese!)
I think when the church seems to communicate that abuse (physical or emotional) is not a valid reason leave the marriage, it makes the victim of the abuse feel worthless and like their experience/feelings/safety/emotional wellbeing does not matter. I was married and divorced. My ex husband passed away. I am "free" to remarry, but I actually cannot because I am traumatized
@@jenniferjj2155 Hi Jennifer, thanks for your reply. After your horrible experiences, why on earth would you want to remarry! I did have a boyfriend, but he died suddenly 2 years ago (not COVID related). I'm now single and happy.
Emotional and mental abuse is just as bad as physical abuse.. even if the bruises aren't visible, they are there, and they can go deep. Toxic relationships can eventually affect our physical health, too, so it is a very dangerous and harmful situation. Please believe that Jesus loves you as one of His dear children, and does not condone abuse. I hope you can find help to get out. (a good exit plan may mean that you never tell him about your intentions of leaving.. stay safe)
You had a really good take. Which is exactly what it states in the bible. I think a good topic for a video is how prevalent divorce is becoming amongst believers.
I totally understand what you are saying Pastor, However, if a woman divorces her man because the man has committed adultery, what happens to the Christian man? or the woman if she commits it?
Very interesting question, I’ve thought that too. But it’s not separated in the Bible. Matthew 19:9 says, "I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.
I am married and sometimes I want to walk away because I hate being accountable to someone. Thats a sinful behavior. I agree with God, deep down I love her more than that and what a betrayal of such a soft and tender love to walk away from a unity like that. God is right we need help. Love is thee greatest commandment. The devil exploits us, walking away is not the correct choice unless they are going around with other people. Thats literally not safe for your physical health. Make it work beside that please.
I got divorced cuz of desertion and abandonment but never remarried and it's been 30 years ...I believe what bible says even though I have the right to remarry
I so wish that more people would understand that divorce isn't such an horrific sin as they want to push down on people who are divorced or are going through a divorce. Divorce with legitimate reasons that is. I had such a difficult time with people who basically shunned and tried to shame my mother because of divorce. But there were legitimate reasons including and not limited to child abuse and alcoholism and abuses of many kinds. I so wish people would stop basically making people who got out of horrible and abusive marriages feel like dirt and like they're the ones that were at fault etc. It makes me so mad the amount of times people in church and those of high standing in the church shames others for deciding to divorce. Somethings cannot change especially when there's abuse and violence involved it's better to get out than to stay and get beat everyday or killed in some cases. I myself studied pastoral counseling for a few years, and i was shunned , given a huge cold shoulder in a church because i stood up about it and spoke about it. Said no one deserves abuse and no one should stay in an abusive relationship or even marriage.or a marriage with an abusive addict or alcoholic. I said it to a church leader and It made me very unpopular. They immediately told me that divorce is wrong and persons should stay in the marriage and be an example for the abusive spouse. So obviously it didn't sit well with me at all. I'm absolutely fine with unpopularity but with the treatment of those who are victims not so much. And yes I left that particular church because of a whole lot of other reasons including that incident. And abuse of power from many of the church.
Read all of 1 Corinthians 7. Like you said. The wife doesn’t initiate the divorce. So as long as he’s alive and not dead the covenant is still there. Desertion, he may still be alive. Why in Matthew is it saying that if someone divorces and marries another, they are committing adultery ? Even when the husband initiates the divorce. God hates divorce. Aren’t we supposed to hate what he hates? My husband divorced me and I will remain single unless there’s reconciliation,as the word says. But only if he has given his life to Christ because why go back into the same mess. Unequally yoked. God is the priority
I wish more people would address physical abuse. I went through this before my conversion which ended in divorce, he was a drug using alcoholic that abused me. I would have ended my life if I had to stay with him, I was that miserable. Marriage counselor supported his drug use although he didn't know the full extent. People stuck in this are desperate and nobody ever addresses this. Why not? Please make a video regarding this.
Anyone in a physically abusive environment should get to safety. However, if you separate from your covenant spouse, you must remain unmarried or be reconciled to your spouse (1 Corinthians 7:10-11). If a married man or married woman who are in a covenant marriage divorce for any reason and remarry, they are committing adultery. If anyone marries a divorced man or woman, they are also committing adultery. -- Matthew 19:9, Mark 10:11-12, Luke 16:18 and Romans 7:2-3
Matthew 5: 32, 1 Corinthians 7. That's it, folks, The church has been informed. Not recommending staying around for any kind of serious abuse. Separate, yes, but divorce is not an option at this time. Should the spouse commit adultery while separated, then refer to Matthew 5: 32. Careful YOU don't fall into temptation while separated.
Divorce is terrible for this world and for children. I divorced because it was the only legal way to separate my finances from my spouse's in order to save the house so my children wouldn't end up homeless. I would have lived with the spouse forever, never even telling anyone we were divorced but spouse chose otherwise. I would have sacrificed myself forever for the sake of my vows and the children but I was NOT willing to let my children end up homeless.
Divorce is easily accepted and "understood" now. My ex called to say he went to a religious "class" to help him get rid of his "unnecessary guilt". No way to cover all the lies and deceit, but he convinced my parents divorce was my idea. My father kicked me out. Nowhere to go, I lived in my car. When he didn't return 3 months later to talk, as he'd "promised", my father apologized. Don't be so quick to excuse what you don't know.
Without knowing any other details, this is why divorce and remarriage are okay, because those who don't believe in it, do wicked things to the one who divorces. If one didn't believe that lie, they would treat others, especially their family right, in those instances. This is how dangeerous it is to believe only part of God's word, even most of it In scripture, there is basis for divorce and remarriage. The only thing I can't find in the Bible is concerning violence and extreme emotional abuse. But when I ask God, He tells me that those things are divorcible. I came across a comment by an old Russian Jewish woman, who said, the Hebrew word for rape, includes violence. But the deceived religious ones, they only know how to accuse, and not show mercy. They have no salvation to offer, only condemnation.
Brother I do not understand. Please speak to the women that have been married to men who were believers and abused it in the marriage. I was married to someone who was physically and emotionally abusive. He struggled deeply with drug addiction. It was no longer safe for me to remain in that marriage for myself or my children. Please brother you have to address this in your video about divorce
Sister, hello 👋🏾 I want to say this first: forgive me for a pretty long response And now to say this to you 👉🏾 as long as you took it to the Lord Jesus, He's already addressed it with you. You're no longer married correct? Then it *was* addressed by the one whom it matters to. We Christians are doing our best to understand the word of God, when we read and apply it to our lives but, the Holy Spirit who abides in us, helps us to live a victorious Christian life. 1 Corinthians 13 vs 12: For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. 👆🏾 Because none us knows everything, so I wouldn't necessarily look towards Mr. Parr nor anyone to address certain things especially about marriage. God instituted it and He alone understands it even more than the Apostle Paul how it should be enjoyed and lived out amongst heterosexual couples. Hope you're doing well even now 🙏🏾
In matthew it doesn't say adultery it says fornication which is a reference to deuteronomy 24:1 which state if a man finds something unclean in her then divorce is allowed unclean as sexual immorality before marriage
Read what John Piper says about Matthew 5 and 19 if you are unable to see how others read it differently. Notice that only Matthew has this exception for divorce. Why is that? John Piper argues why that is and concludes that adultery is NOT a grounds for divorce. I've never cheated on my wife by the way so that's not a motivation for thinking this way. Overall a good video Allen.
I know we must Trust God in our brokenness. I think some of this teaching is solid. BUT GOD is rich in mercy. Numbers 30 … we are the woman, then Bride of Christ.
Wow. This video will have so many people turned from the gates of heaven because they would rather hear a pleasure message that lightens the burden God made for their growth, then to actually follow the godly way. I will pray that as many people as possible see through this demonic speech, and truly seek the godly way, not the easy path of the devil.
I’ve actually been married 3 times. My first marriage was an abusive marriage where my then wife was abusive towards me. At the same time I had committed adultery and she later did the same thing because of our separation from each other. My second marriage was ended because of sexual sin on my then wife’s part. She wanted us to have an open marriage and I didn’t. She was cheating on me and wanted to give me permission to see other women because she was cheating on me so I filed for divorce and moved out. My third marriage was an unhappy marriage because she started going out of town not letting me know where she waa going and not letting me know how long she was going be out of town and not letting me know when she was coming back home. I am single now and have decided to let go and let God. I have been dealing with my own sexual sins as a single man. It’s hard but that’s because of Satan. I know God will get me through this.
Divorce and remarriage are sins, and God will never contradict His word! There are no grounds for divorce, God hates divorce and He said no man should separate what He has brought together. Divorce also leads people to commit remarriage adultery, please repent from this teaching, divorce doesn’t give anyone the freedom to remarry, it just means they are free from being obliged to remain married. Being born again doesn’t give anyone the freedom to remarry because marriage is not a sin, being born again means you repent and become an obedient saint from being a sinner, if you commit wilful sin you will still account for it before God if you don’t stop sinning and repent. Being born again doesn’t mean we are no longer our earthly parent’s children, or parents to our children, so how can being born again mean you’re free to stop being someone’s lawfully wedded spouse before God’s eyes who joined you as one? Lord Jesus Christ said except for reasons of fornication NOT adultery. Luke 16:18 “Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.” Matthew 19:6 “Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” Matthew 19:9 “And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.” Romans 7:3 “So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.”
I have been through divorce multiple times. I believe Paul's advice to stay single was prophetic. Even though he had no idea at the time he wrote that. In our modern society, this should be the default position of every unmarried Christian male. Biblical marriage is extinct in Western civilization and men of faith have no business being involved in it. Marriage in the West has been perverted from God's design and is hazardous to men's physical and mental health. For many, this is a harsh position to take, but it is the correct one. God's design for the family and for marriage has a hierarchy with defined roles. Modern society had denied this design and decided to take the opposite approach. God's design of God to husband to wife to children has been changed to wife and children. Both God and the husband have been swept aside. The authority of the husband has been legally stripped away by all of Western society. This same Western society wants the husband to still be responsible for the family, but without any authority. That is not how it works. That is why the system is broken and why men should avoid marriage at all costs. Without male authority there needs to be no male participation. A man does not need to be married and sign a government contract to serve God.
I was looking about some explain a man should leave his mother and father to cling to his wife because his mother act like wife. I will not accept her at all in our life.
This was so good had to watch it twice. Currently going through a situation with a cheating spouse, and abandonment...divorce is a very real possibility for me and it's very painful and hard to deal with. However I know God's got me either way and my relationship with Him through all of this has gotten stronger. Thank you for this Allen! Praying for anybody watching this and are going through it with their spouse. 🙏🏽🙏🏽 Be encouraged. God bless❤
I’m in so much condemnation about this subject me and my ex husband got married 10 years ago both of us committed adultery through out the whole marriage I started dating a guy for 5 years I got baptized God brought me out the clubs I don’t drink or smoke anymore like God has changed my life around I got married to my boyfriend 6months ago now he’s my husband I was so happy at first but I been seeing different teaching saying I’m going to hell because my first husband not dead other people say since we defile our marriage bed it’s grounds to get remarried some teaching say sexual immorality is only for divorce I can’t get remarried I’m at the point I’m scared I don’t want to go to hell for adultery I’m bout to divorce my second husband and reconcile with my first one hopefully I just want to please the Lord
Said gently and without condemnation in other words perfectly 👌 I don't think anyone could have said it any better but my friends if you are divorced and there has been no infidelity before it was finalized and if they are a believer in christ (which seems nonsensical how can there be such disunity among people of God who were supposed to be in love and are now supposed to be in love with their Christian brothers and sisters) be that as it may if you have an item that you just can't resolve and must divorce then you are officially ordered to stay that way unless you later find a way to work past that issue and get remarried.
Whoa! If I remarried in an illicit way I'm in adultery and you're saying to stay that way? Idts. Pretty sure that marriage is invalid and must be separated to stop adultering.
I have gone through a divorce because my husband cheated and I cheated to get back at him. He beat me and tried to kill me so I got out the marriage and now I’m remarried but I live with such heavy guilt that I set us up for hell. I hate how I feel because I don’t know if I will get to heaven and if I damned my husband as well 😭😭
I never wanted a divorce, but she was too mentally gone from ever being reconciled. No amount of counseling could change how abusive (physically, emotionally, verbally) she is. She was so unfaithful and abandoned me. Under biblical grounds, I got a divorce and free to marry another.
1 Corinthians 7 39The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord. 40But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God
My wife wants to leave. I haven't been a good communicator and haven't been there for her the way she needed me to. I'm so lost and I prayed every night for years for God to help me be a better listener and communicator but I still kept making the same mistakes. She feels nothing for me now. I feel like I can't do anything about her pain and nothing to save our marriage. She doesn't feel there's anything to save. She feels pain around me. That's it. I don't want to leave her. I want to reconcile but she doesn't. I just have to be single for the rest of my life then? I'm so lost and we're both hurting and our kids will too
No, you can get remarried if you two don't reconcile and then divorce. God cares about you and your family. Please don't listen to the no divorce and no remarriage people. They don't care what happens to you and falsely say if you divorce and remarry, you will go to hell. That's wicked, because God can forgive anything and give you a new start. Believe God, for He is good. My prayers are with you.
If as a believer you divorce a believer you are forbidden to remarry how can you say if that's the case God will forgive you that's talking out of both sides of your mouth.
Rom 7:2 For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. 3 So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.
Oh, I accept Biblical teaching on divorce. Marriage and sexuality are God's way of punishing us. Most marriages-both inside and outside Biblical Christianity- are miserable, but God also gave us sexual desires and marriage is the only way he will allow us to fulfill them. The dilemma is either be celibate (and miserable) or be married and likely miserable (but at least you can have sex). God saying we won't be married in heaven (and therefore being essentially asexual) is a mercy he extends to us for enduring his curse in our mortal life.
The one omission I struggle with understanding is "Why is there not biblical grounds for divorce when physical abuse is present?" To me, that is as bad as cheating on your spouse.
There is no such thing as a biblical ground for divorcing from a covenant marriage. Marriage is for life and no one is to separate the married couple; not even the married couple shall separate themselves (Matthew 19:3-8 and Mark 10:2-9). Only death breaks the marriage covenant which then allows the surviving spouse to remarry if he or she chooses (Romans 7:2-3 and 1 Corinthians 7:39). The book of Matthew which was written to a Jewish audience only allowed a betrothed husband to divorce his betrothed wife if she committed fornication (premarital sex). A betrothal is similar to what we in the Western world call an engagement to be married. In the Jewish culture, in order to break the betrothal, the man had to get a divorce from the betrothal. In accordance with the Old Testament and Jewish culture, a married woman could NEVER commit fornication if she had sex with a man who was not her husband. She could only commit ADULTERY because she is married. Likewise, a single woman could NEVER commit adultery. She could only commit FORNICATION, even if she had sex with a married man, because she is single. Under the Old Testament, under which the Jews were living before Christ's death on the cross, and the Jewish culture, the charge of adultery was based upon the marital status of the woman. If the woman was married, the illicit sex was ALWAYS adultery. If the woman was single, the illicit sex was ALWAYS fornication. Read Leviticus 20:10 and Deuteronomy 22:22. In Matthew 19:7 and Mark 10:4, we know that the Pharisees were asking Jesus about a divorce from a covenant marriage and not a divorce from a betrothal because of their mention of Moses' divorce law in Deuteronomy 24:1-4. Moses' divorce law only pertained to married husbands and wives; not betrothed husbands and wives. So, when Jesus said, "And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, EXCEPT it be for FORNICATION..." in Matthew 19:9, He was allowing betrothed husbands to divorce their betrothed wives who committed fornication. The Jews knew that fornication could only refer to a single woman; not a married woman. Because a betrothed wife is a single woman, they also knew that the divorce they could have is only from a betrothed wife if she is guilty of fornication. I hope this helps your understanding.
Don't worry, Peter Young. God does not want spouses beat up and worse and will urge the beat up one to leave. Maybe divorce and get remarried, too. 1 Corinthians 7:27,28a. Or you can stay married and live separately, or get divorced and stay single. It's up to you. Pray and know God is good and hears your heart cry. When He answers, it will bring peace to your soul. Trust Him, He knows you and cares about you.
@@michaelalbertson7457 Thank you Michael, fortunately, I do not have this issue for myself and my wife is amazing! I mainly just observe it with others that I have known. I will read these verses you mentioned and pray on them. God bless you!
@@Peter.Young21 So, it appears that the scriptures in which Jesus said not to let anyone separate a covenant marriage and that to divorce and marry another is to commit adultery mean absolutely nothing to you. Read Matthew 19:1-, Mark 10:2-12, Luke 16:18. Also read Romans 7:2-3 and 1 Corinthians 7:39 where Paul says that only death breaks the marriage covenant, so 1 Corinthians 7:27-28 do not allow divorce and remarriage because Paul was writing to virgins (See 1 Corinthians 7:25). Married people are not virgins. These scriptures need to be read in context (1 Corinthians 7:25-36). Yet, when someone tells you that a person has options that include divorce and remarriage, and gives you a couple of verses that do not support divorce or remarriage, that you listen to. May the Lord have mercy on you and open your eyes and ears to receive the truth that there are no biblically based divorces under the New Testament and certainly there are no biblically based remarriages after those divorces.
@@godgavemeeyestosee I actually hadn't responded to you initially because you missed the point of what I said and addressed me as if I had said something else entirely. I wasn't asked whether or not divorce was permitted by God through the scriptures. I said that I struggle with the fact that God does not address(that I know of) a way for a person to get out of a marriage where physical abuse is present. I struggle with this because in my heart of hearts, I would definitely tell any person to leave that situation if the other person was unwilling to stop. What you pointed out is something I am already aware of and I believe that divorce is not permitted outside of what brother Allen Parr pointed out in this video and Adultery which is clearly stated several times in Matthew. I agree with much of what you said, but I disagree with your interpretation on Matthews adultery.
Hi, if you are both christains and she leaves you, not because of infidelity but because she doesn't love you anymore. Is it ok to re marry. I just want to be in God's will. I have met a beautiful Godly spirit filled Lady.
Finally, Alan I have been asking this question to so many people about when you are new in Christ is it OK to remarry, I like to hear that I can, thank you
It is okay to remarry, new in Christ and old in Christ. I use 1 Corinthians 7:27,28a, as a valid reason from the Bible for getting remarried. I know other parts say no, but all scriptures are from God, so it stands to reason that God says it is okay either way. But I do believe as well as adultery, that violence, abandonment, and extreme verbal abuse are divorcible, for God is good and does not want people to suffer at the hands of unreasonable and wicked spouses. Also, to give all, the chance to marry again, which is good, He gives us another chance to be blessed in marriage. For He is a good God.
@@michaelalbertson7457 Being driven away or divorced by a non Christian spouse leaves a Christian free to marry. I’m NOT going to address that below. God is good. Therefore, He demands that His children do good. Committing adultery is not good. Christians divorcing before the law does not divorce them in heaven. One who remarries while the “ex” still lives commits adultery. If a pair are Christians who have not given evidence that they are false converts, the loving solution is dealing with their problems and hoping to remarry. This does not leave room for marrying another. Being happy does not mean adultery is not adultery. Happiness is not God’s ultimate goal for His children. Holiness is. Happiness is not God’s ultimate rule for His children. Love is.
@@ricksonora6656 So no matter how bad a spouse is, once one divorces them, they can't remarry until that "bad" spouse has died? Let me tell you what has happened to you. When I was an atheist, I saw really bad marriages and really good remarriages, so I understood that some divorces and remarriages were good. So when I became a Christian, what I knew, was by backed up by the Holy Spirit in explaining scripture. And some remarriages were godly when the first marriages were not. Easy to see those remarriages were of God. But you let your interpretation of scripture, start denying what I, as an atheist, knew to be good. That is called a religious spirit blinding your eyes so that you cannot know the truth. You know the scriptures, so you either choose to pervert, ignore the truth of the scriptures in the Bible that disagree with your beliefs, because of a religious spirit, which is not of God. All the truth you know is undone by your last comment, in the case of being a true believer.
I was married and working in the ministry my wife and i had differernces and divorced i lost my ministry and condemned by the church i was in ,years later remmaried im happy my wife isnt a christian dint consider that when i married she is better than the so called christian one,i still believe im saved but people hold it over your head when they fin d out but i di d no wrong to deserve this I rhink JESUS died for ALLL our sins.
Luke 16:18 KJV Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.
What if they are a believer but don’t do the works? Like don’t stick to biblical principles. and don’t honor marriage and has been gone from the house for months ? I really need help how to move I’ve been hurting since I got married September 1 of this year and he left and went to another state and only focus on money and have not came home yet and I have asked him can you please come home and do not care about my feelings would not call or text to check on me. I have to call him. How do I move from there being a daughter of Christ ?
My wife left and gave me the kids 11 years ago. I entertained the idea of remarrying, but after dating only twice, I realized I have an impeccable ability to attract women that seem sweet and innocent until several months into the relationship, when their true colors start to emerge. This has been EVERY woman I’ve ever dated. I’ve been to therapy over it, and 2 separate therapists came to the conclusion that because I’m soft spoken and emotionally sensitive, I’m a target for women whom seek control and see me as a naive pushover that won’t notice or be confrontational if they’re being unfaithful. Covert narcissists to be specific. I took this as God’s way of saying He won’t bless any further attempts at marriage. I was devastated at first, but now I’m living for God like never before and more than happy to stay single for the remainder of my life. My point is, even if you have a legit reason to be divorced, it doesn’t mean you have to remarry. Sometimes God doesn’t allow us to pursue the same path as our remarried neighbors. If that’s the case, stick around, because He has something else in mind for you.
my ex husband left and was in adultery and there are times Im lonely but I think of all the chaos I was in and the total lack of any desire that I may not remarry. Its like after the dust clears I think of the realities of marriage and its like ehhh Im good. I have seen people who have remarried 4,5,6 times after that first divorce. i dont want that
I'm glad your happy and content but don't be shocked if one day God does bless you with a Godly women who loves the role that God gives to women. A women who looks to her husband to lead her and the family and is submissive in the ways God intends a wife to be. I never thought I would be the submissive wife but I have to admit I love it since I found a husband who is kind and loving in the ways a good husband should be.
Very solid teaching. My wife and I went through a separation until we both realized that neither one of us had grounds for divorce, so we reconciled. We realized it was the best decision when we saw the change in our kids. Their demeanor, their kindness, and their willingness to share what was on their hearts. God reinforced that one strand that held us together, and for that, we are eternally blessed
Currently going through a separation and I wanted to know y'all's reasons if you don't mind sharing. My husband has denied the faith after seven years and asked for a divorce, but has changed his mind but still wants separation and I'm so confused. He stays with his parents and stays the night sometimes . He says his reasons were for being un happy , sprung it on me after our 7 year anniversary . He's very confused and in turn that's left me very confused. I want reconciliation but he he wants to leave as devastating as it'd be I'll let go because I don't deserve to be in limbo for who knows how long
@@brianatucker9982 Hi, just wanted to chime in because I went through that situation. Please get biblical counseling because it's a very turbulent time. You want to be sure that he is genuine and willing to do the work that's needed in your marriage. There's a good YT channel called Marriage Helper that may help you in the meantime as you look for answers. Be very prayerful and cautious about moving forward after separation so you don't have more setbacks.
@@brianatucker9982 I wish I could say something smart....but I don't know details about your lives. But I offer to pray for you. God in Heaven, we ask you for discernment, and wisdom. We pray for the best option, that you could intervene in his heart and mind for a positive outcome. But he needs to be willing to repent and submit himself to you. Lord we ask you, that it wouldn't be long before it would be known to Briana what is the direction of their future. Thank you Lord that you know, you care and you help 🙏🏻 In Jesus's Holy name. Amen.
As a single woman (no bf, no kids) I am scared to death of divorce. As much as I desire marriage, the failure thereof makes me fearful. Thank you Brother for shedding light on this topic.
It's very scary! So i don't blame you! The Civil government has ruined Marriage as an institution. But just like in the Bible, not everyone will get to lead storybook lives unfortunately! But also like the Bible, we try to stay in the spirit and follow GOD's leadings! Often when we chase a dream or goal, it seems to elude us. But when we stop chasing it, it seems to become available! GOD bless!
Don’t look for a husband. Look for friends. You might find one who’s worth the risk. Or you might have the gift of singleness. Don’t let fear of divorce turn into an anti-idol. If you do escalate a friendship to beau to husband, fear can turn you into a possessive, controlling, suspicious, miserable wife. You should listen to the Focus on the Family podcasts about marriage. Get the right image in your mind before it’s needed.
@@ricksonora6656 thank you for the advice brother. I like "Focus on the Family". Admittedly, I haven't listened to their podcasts in a while. Thanks for the reminder.
I thought I wanted to separate from my wife of 15 years but I asked god to help guide our marriage and thank the Lord I stopped wanting to separate my wife because of no affection from her. She’s more loving and attentive than ever and I’m more in love with her than ever! We have two children who are growing up so fast and even though I’m recovering from a stroke in a nursing home, my wife has been there for me and my boys! I’m so grateful!
This IS a sensitive topic to me, I've never been divorced but I do come from a family that was broken by adultery & divorce & I had my heart broken by someone whom I believed was the one I would marry. I know that all of God's commandments are important but to me personally his commandment about not committing adultery is the one that resonates with me, I have a personal hatred towards adultery & divorce & I'm so sorrowful to see how divorce is running rampant & destroying our world.
Divorce and remarriage are sins, and God will never contradict His word! There are no grounds for divorce, God hates divorce and He said no man should separate what He has brought together. Divorce also leads people to commit remarriage adultery, please repent from this teaching, divorce doesn’t give anyone the freedom to remarry, it just means they are free from being obliged to remain married. Being born again doesn’t give anyone the freedom to remarry because marriage is not a sin, being born again means you repent and become an obedient saint from being a sinner, if you commit wilful sin you will still account for it before God if you don’t stop sinning and repent. Being born again doesn’t mean we are no longer our earthly parent’s children, or parents to our children, so how can being born again mean you’re free to stop being someone’s lawfully wedded spouse before God’s eyes who joined you as one? Lord Jesus Christ said except for reasons of fornication NOT adultery, this man is very crafty and manipulative with words, repent! Luke 16:18 “Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.” Matthew 19:6 “Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” Matthew 19:9 “And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.” Romans 7:3 “So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.”
Currently going through an unwanted divorce. Our court date is December 9th. I did not sign the papers and I’m not attending the court date, as I want no part in this. If you see this, please take a moment to stop and pray that God reconciles my marriage! Thank you!!
I can only speak for myself, but my biggest regret in my recent unwanted divorce is signing anything or participating in any fashion in something this exceedingly wicked. As a man, I caved to the fear of having my girls largely taken away from me if I did a no-contest divorce. Even though I didn't hire a lawyer to represent me and gave away my home, money, possessions, I would do anything for the chance to go back and take my signature off that cursed document, no matter the cost. I'm assuming by your name that you are a woman, and if that is the case and you have children you probably don't have to worry about losing them at least. Regardless, I would have immense admiration for you or anyone else that did a no-contest divorce based on your Godly convictions. Be well Brooke.
Praying. Jesus Saved our Marriage after being separated for two years. I'm so very happy He did. It was hell on earth, going through divorce. The lawyers were like devil's. I kept Seeking Jesus and Reading my Bible KJV. And Praying. That's what kept me from losing it. Jesus did it for me, He can do it for you. I'm praying for you Brooke. Stay strong. Jesus Loves you.(married 21 years!) Matthew 6:33 KJV❤🙏🏼❤
Christians might find it hard to accept Christ's teaching on divorce/remarriage but ultimately it is what God wants for us that matters. The road to Heaven ain't easy....
The fact that adultery isn't illegal in the world like it's a sin in the Bible churns my stomach to no end. If it was illegal, marriage would be more permanent. But forget what the law says, marriage IS permanent in the eyes of GOD our Heavenly Father and in mine
Divorce is very painful because it happened to me, my ex wife wanted out I tried to convince her to stay and work it out she declined and my life was turned upside down. I was stressed to the max and on top of that, losing my father around the same time coping with his death and being divorced which I never wanted and now I'm going through a healing process from my heart being broken twice my ex wife and my father's death keep me lifted up in prayer.
Hey James, I hope you are doing well brother. I’m going through an unbiblical divorce and my wife stopped wearing her rings and is dating already without even filing for divorce. I understand how much this can hurt but trust that God works everything for the good of those who love Him. Keep on loving him brother and you’ll know you are in His will for your life, there is great comfort in knowing that.
Yes and if you find yourself being led towards something other than these biblical standards, then you know that you are not being led by God, but by something else
It can also be said, Don't substitute reading for leading. We need to understand what God says in the Bible, not what our fallible mind thinks. We need the mind of Christ to receive all that the Honly Spirit reveals.
Thank you so much for this message. I was married to my wife for seven years. During those years she chose to find romantic interests outside of our marriage many times. I reconciled to stay in and attempt to heal my marriage through all of this but she then decided to leave me after her last affair. All of this began after we stopped attending church and living in the word I have been struggling with the idea of divorcing her because of my personal beliefs towards marriage. Since our separation of over a year. I have resumed attending church and studying the word. Messages such as these have really helped in allowing me to understand the decision I have had to make and to deepen my connection with our savior and the path that he has chosen for me. God Bless and thank you for all of your wonderful content brother!
The only reason a Christian may initiate divorce is infidelity. But in telling Christians that they may accept divorce from a non believer the Bible says that staying together may benefit the spouse and any children. Only you, your wife and God know your situation. Try to do what God wants. Your pastor might be able to help.
the bible specifically states adultery is a permissible reason for divorce. you’re all good brother. just trust in the Lord and live for Him so he can work through you in Jesus name amen.
I am so sorry (to you too, Alicia😔). You sound like you are in the clear. You didn't up an walk away; she did. She broke the covenant. You did not. I pray that you are ok and can move on, and even for her if she ever turns it around. You are God's child, and He cares & see what you are experiencing. I can't think of a Biblical reason for you to not be allowed to be married again. Infidelity kills a marriage, and even though God can heal that, she chose to leave. Death allows for new beginning, just like if she passed away. It couldn't hurt to fast and pray about it. God cares, don't forget that💝✌️🙏
My husband and I hit a rough patch, we separated for a bit because he lost his path with God.. during that time God pruned him and made him a better husband and father, today he’s so different and such a loving man of God. Thankfully we have had no infidelity in our marriage my heart goes out to those who have felt that hurt 😔 we were blessed with a baby girl after we reconciled, now 6 months pregnant and happy as can we I am sooo grateful for how the Lord has molded my marriage
Divorce and remarriage are sins, and God will never contradict His word! There are no grounds for divorce, God hates divorce and He said no man should separate what He has brought together. Divorce also leads people to commit remarriage adultery, please repent from this teaching, divorce doesn’t give anyone the freedom to remarry, it just means they are free from being obliged to remain married. Being born again doesn’t give anyone the freedom to remarry because marriage is not a sin, being born again means you repent and become an obedient saint from being a sinner, if you commit wilful sin you will still account for it before God if you don’t stop sinning and repent. Being born again doesn’t mean we are no longer our earthly parent’s children, or parents to our children, so how can being born again mean you’re free to stop being someone’s lawfully wedded spouse before God’s eyes who joined you as one? Lord Jesus Christ said except for reasons of fornication NOT adultery, this man is very crafty and manipulative with words, repent! Luke 16:18 “Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.” Matthew 19:6 “Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” Matthew 19:9 “And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.” Romans 7:3 “So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.”
@@hillarysudeikis2264 Mam you have no right telling me to repent of a teaching I never even mentioned in my comment, maybe instead of acting high and mighty telling others to repent you should take the log out of your own eye.
Thanks for this video. I've personally witnessed a lot of divorce in my family and I've gone through the divorce in my own personal life. My marriage ended due to adultery and abuse and it was also unequally yoked and a bunch of other problems. I'm biblically able to get married again but am content with Christ and I don't want to remarry if it's not God ordained. I just want to be single and alone for a few decades or however long the Lord allows.
You are not able to get remarried people don’t understand Matt 19:9 and I say unto you who so ever put away his wife except it be for fornication…. which is death according to mosaic law Lev 20:10 Deut 22:13-24 Jesus was saying you can only get remarried if your spouse is dead.
Allen please stop preaching on this subject you telling people they have grounds for divorce is biblically incorrect souls will go to hell based of that grounds for divorce stuff just like you talked with Marcus Rogers I’m more then willing to have a sit down and talk to you about what the Bible really says on this… in fact how about I just link you to a live panel I was on where I confirmed it in the word Of god that there is no divorce on any grounds for anyone saved or not..
@@spanishfly7709 Jesus clearly said that adultery is grounds for a divorce. Yes it would be better to not ne divorced, yet he isn't saying that you can't only that you shouldn't if you don't have to. Has Paul taught an incorrect teaching? Survey he spoke from the Father that we should let those who leave leave. Otherwise hoe shall we hold them? It is unreasonable to ask people to hold to those who don't want to be held. Even God won't do that.
Regardless of any teaching on any biblical passage concerning divorce and remarriage, consider the actual vows you made before a Holy God in the presence of witnesses. This includes not only your marriage vows, but also the commitments you made in raising your children together in the Lord when you had them dedicated in front of the church. Most Christians initiating divorce today will rush to find whatever twisted interpretation they can to justify their actions biblically. But that will never change the words you spoke to forsake all others until death.
My wife was cheating on me with another man and refused and didn’t wanna be with me anymore so I divorced that’s not my fault I tried everything I could
Yes you absolutely have every right. I decided to take the option to remain with her as long as I could trying to reconcile, even as she was cheating on me, and even denied me what was supposed to be ours in the marriage bed. When it came to the point that she told me to leave, I decided that it was time and that I had done all I could. Each person's situation is unique, but whatever option you take, as long as it is in line with the biblical standards put forth here, you can walk away from it with a clear conscience. Amen!
Beloved brother, It does not matter what you think. Lets stick to the scriptures. 👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇 1 Corinthians 7:39 [39]The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord. ☝️☝️This is the new law as it was from the beginning. Not mozes law. Lets stick to His law. If your ex husband had been married before in that case your marriage with him was unlawfull in case it was your first marriage. In that case you would be free from the law.
My husband had an affair 25 years ago. We were able to heal by the grace of God. We will be celebrating 36 years of marriage in December. It was hard but all I can say is fight. The enemy is seeking to destroy lives and marriages. But now it is sweeter than I could have ever imagined. I can honestly say I love my husband more now than I ever have before.
I never wanted a divorce. But I could not stop my ex wife from having multiple affairs and exiting the marriage. It was the most painful experience in my life. However, there was beauty in the suffering and my relationship with God reached new levels because of it
Same here. God bless!
Got to love those Rainbows after the storms, right! Thank you LORD for those!
Ditto brother, same situation!! It’s heartbreaking! BUT GOD!!! I begin to walk in my purpose when I finally let go of the marriage. Prayers for you all! ❤
Same here. I had all biblical grounds for divorce and didn't want it, but he didn't want to honor the marriage and abandoned me again. It was dark and traumatic, but the Lord was with me the whole time and He provided for me to support my kids and myself afterward. He's been so good to me before, during and after the divorce... and once I let it go, I met an amazing man at church.
Did u stay single? Or did you remarry?
Chase Marriage....not Weddings. That's a major issue in our society these days.
No, chase being a better Christian, and a better person
@@gustavsorensen9301 The topic is on the video is on divorce and marriage...hence I spoke on that issue. Ofcourse being a better person is what people should chase.
@@Matt-28 Your point is well-taken. Women these days want the Joanna Gaines wedding. They want to marry in a fancy barn with their 200 TikTok-loving friends.
Like I always say. People want the bells and whistles of a wedding, but not the work of a marriage.
This statement is so true!
The Lord revealed these things to me years ago. Divorce is not the unpardonable sin. Thank you for this excellent presentation!
divorce, is not a sin....the options are....reconcile, or remain unmarried.....remarriage is....and one can not be forgiven, unless the sin....adultery, is forsaken.....
It’s not that black and white. Just as killing/murder are not always the same. Or a non virgin marrying is allowed.
Unbelievers are not joined by God. If one of them becomes a believer THEN the marriage is at least sanctified-if they are pleased to dwell! Marriage is not joined by God unless they are believers. He has never made covenants with unbelievers. It’s obviously foolishness because if he did then he would be even marriages that are done in evil like Satanists.,
Is it according to your revelation or according to scriptures,the only unpardonable sin is very clear in the scripture that is to speak against the Holy Spirit,therefore your revelation is false.
If it's unpardonable why Jesus said one cannot divorce unless in the matter of udultry?
and Paul talked about desertion if one spouse decide to leave the other is no longer bound to that marriage.
When you have been lucky not to go through what others have gone through in marriage you will speak to make others to feel like loosers or sinners.
Udultry and desertion are conditions for biblical divorce.
@@fonelo2215 Violence would be considered divorcible, after which, both parties can get remarried.
Obviously, if one remains violent, that one is not saved. But the other one is free to remarry.
Anyone who says different believes the devil's lies about divorce and remarriage.
Saved people believe what God says to them.
Double minded churchgoers are easily fooled by the devil's interpretation of scripture.
There are so many different scenarios. What if you want to be reconciled to an ex spouse but not only are they now an atheist but engaged to someone else and you’ve repented from the divorce situation that had taken place? I understand being single is very valuable, and that it draws you closer in your relationship to God, but I can’t believe that if I met a godly man and wanted to marry him that it would be a sin in God‘s eyes given my past situation.
This made me cry. Thank you. Ok, please don’t judge me. I know I’m a horrible person….or did horrible things. Idk why I’m even going to spew this out…..I was a heroin addict/stripper/sex work and was also abused as a young girl. I got clean at 21, but I was still a mess. I believed in Christ, I got baptized, I went to church, believed with my whole heart, bible study, I felt God move in my life. It was AWESOME!!! Then……I met a guy. And I was fixated on getting married. I knew I shouldn’t, I had that alarm in my gut going off. But “I want what I want”. Had my first baby, lost my mind after. Then had an affair. Quit my job, reconciled. Had another baby and went off the deep end again. More affairs, like a sex addict. Because of the deep spiritual pain that put me in. I picked up heroin again, and continued to shoot dope for 8 years after being clean for 9 years. 😢HOW AWFUL!! Selling. Drugs, doing drugs and some sex work. Please don’t think I’m disgusting. Well, I guess I was. FINALLY got sober again PRAISE GOD!! Oh lord, I thought I was gonna DIE!! Overdosed twice with paramedics and narcan. Met a man, fell in love, got pregnant right away, had two babies. Instead of losing my mind this time I STAYED sober!! I want to remarry. I know, my order is all messed up. I said to myself, I got a new life AGAIN!! How good is god to me?! But idk what to do. I want to get married but I also don’t want to be living in a continuous state of sin. I feel like I have a new life and should continue moving forward. Stop looking back. I have a long healing process ahead of me and hate myself for all the terrible things I’ve done. I NEVER EVER want to be that person again. EVER. I probably shouldn’t have said all that. But it’s real and it happened. Can you please say a prayer for me and my children? Thank you.
Two months old but cannot bypass this. Prayers for you, friend. You have repented. God has made you clean. You aren't what you once were. Rather, you are a new creation and that is what the Father sees. He is a perfect Father who loves you completely and only wants good for you. He can give you the desires of your heart when you surrender to Him. I believe He can give you a joyous union and help you raise those babies in Him.
Brother Allen
Thank you so much for this video. Eight years ago I went through a divorce that I did not want. I am a single father and trusting Christ to lead me to find the right woman to marry. Constantly battle condemnation since I never wanted to get divorced... it's like someone amputated my limbs and I had no say on that decision.
Someone likened it to pulling apart a piece of cardboard, it can never really come apart clean. I am separated and one night I was in bed and it just felt soul tearing. I'm still praying God.
The unbeliever departed brother, God has called you to peace. Don't live in condemnation, that is not from the Lord.
@@MatthewKnight05 try the correct....term.....not under bondage is not the same as not bound....something that the writer had just explained.....one is bound to the other as long as the other one is alive....
@@philipbuckley759 No, they are not. If one is loosed, they can remarry. 1 Corinthians 7:27,28a. Read with understanding.
If one is loosed, they were married, hence they are not virgins.
@@michaelalbertson7457 Wrong. Jesus in Mark 10:10-11 says "Who soever shall divorce his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall divorce her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery." You cannot remarry if your spouse is still alive. 1 Corinthians 9:39 "The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the lord."
Oh thank you, thank you! Ive gone through divorce and remarried but still felt condemned. I think its time I accept Gods forgiveness on this .
People LOVE to condemn others, don't they! One of my biggest pet-peeves with our modern-day churches!
Me too love
The Bible is clear the only way to Remarry is if the Spouse dies. I have a playlist of over 400 studies on this from many Pastors and teachers on this. The main church is Lukewarm and won't listen to Jesus on this.
Pay attention to his words. It's his opinion not biblical.
Even if someone divorces, the Bible mentions no where at all in any scriptures you can remarry unless the Spouse dies.
There is difference between forgiveness only and staying in what Jesus calls adultery.
You cannot stay in adultery just because you confessed the Sin.
The second part is repentance.
Example: you cannot steal something, keep it, ask God to forgive you and not return item.
In Divorce, yes you are forgiven but Remarriage is adultery if you had no grounds biblically for Divorce. I also go a step further since Jesus never quantified Remarriage if....
He said, ",Whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery". So Divorce is forgivable but marrying again with first spouse still alive(Covenant Spouse) is still adultery.
I know this from experience. I had to Divorce 2nd Spouse based on Remarriage scriptures. It's not easy but you cannot keep what is not yours.💓
@@HopeLives2012 This is absolutely unsound, poor doctrine that has been crippling professing Christians for years. Marriage being indissoluble is rooted in Catholicism and certainly is NOT biblical. Once you get legally divorced (whether biblically justified or not), you are no longer in covenant with that person. Period.
You referenced Jesus's teaching on divorce in Matthew's gospel (chptrs 5 &19). Jesus is clearly condemning those who divorce their spouses (in this specific context, Jewish men divorcing their wives) frivolously. Additionally, he is explaining the damage it would cause to the woman who would be stigmatized as an adulterer. Anyone that married her would also be unfairly stigmatized as an adulterer. What does this mean practically? Unjust divorces. or divorces period, have a ripple effect, affecting the innocent spouse, kids, family members, friends, future relationships, etc.
Yet, God is perfectly just, merciful, gracious, and loving. If one acknowledges his sin and repents, God forgives. And that includes divorce.
How silly is it to compare theft to marriage? In elementary terms, theft is bad. It is sinful. Marriage, on the other hand, is good. It is a beautiful gift from our God. With that being said, can you mess up a good thing, repent, and still be eligible for that good thing? Absolutely. Ever read the parable of the Prodigal Son?
Lastly, to think one must divorce from their current spouse in order to retain salvation is absurd, sinful, and unbiblical. This is taught no where in scripture. It rather demonstrates lack of faith in the works and personhood of Jesus Christ. Remember, He is the sole reason why any of us can be saved at all. Let's not add our works to His as means for salvation lest we be in blatant, dangerous error.
My wife has rejected me for 32 years and whenever I complained, she vilified me endlessly for my anger and frustration. Because of her pain from childhood troubles, she is responsible for nothing! As a man I am responsible for everything. It does not matter what horrible childhood I had...
He is leaving out Roman 7:2, A man is bound to his wife as long as he lives. 1 Corinthians 7:38 says the same, the wife and husband are bound until death. 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 says let not the wife depart from the husband if she departs let her remain unmarried or reconciled. The only grounds biblically for remarriage is if someone dies…death.
Firstly: no he doesn’t leave it out, that is literally a quoted section he touches on, complete with on-screen text. But also, aren’t you then equally leaving out 1Corinthians 7 12-16, which is CLEARLY the expressing instructions for divorce besides death? Both are scripture and must be held in proper tension and context. He’s suggesting that the context here would suggest that 10-11 is referring to marriage between 2 believers, while the rest is to an imbalanced marriage. You’re also ignoring Matthew 19:9, where Christ himself isolates adultery as a special circumstance when talking about divorce. The Bible teaches a single absolute truth, but that absolute truth is rarely all the way on one side of an issue like we often want to express divorce. The absolute truth expressed in Scripture requires us to consider all of Scripture’s teaching as context.
"One marriage at a time; if a partner passes away, we have the freedom to enter into a new marriage!"
I've been married more than once. God knows my heart and what happened. I've prayed for forgiveness and know I love a forgiving God.
Thank you for this series. I was a widow who married a divorced man. I new I was free but kept feeling some weirdness about his divorced status. Thanks for this liberating message. Thanks be to God we're still married (13 years) and believing God for Godly success.
No, you maybe unscripturally married
marrying divorced person, is adultery....
@@TheJude1790 As God can forgive any sin if one confesses to Him, she is free. He is divorced.
You believe the living divorced spouse bondage lie, when the law of the land, which came from the Bible, says different.
You have not learned 1 John 1:9, nor have you learned 1 Corinthians 7:27,28.
@@michaelalbertson7457 you have to forsake the sin too
@@michaelalbertson7457 can you provide clarification?
Im 28, i got married to cover up a pregnancy. I only dated my spouse for 3 months before we tied the knot. I didnt really get a chance to know her. Since we been together its been really bad. Theres no love, poor communication, disrespect. We just cant see eye to eye. We both believe in God and the bible and stay together only because of that commandment of staying together. We have gotten to the point that we would rather be dead than stay together. If anyone is reading this please pray for me.
You both believe, then trust God. He loves you so much. Get down on your knees & ask forgiveness for whatever you know you have done wrong (like the disrespect) & repent (turn away from those ways).
With God all things are possible. Don't look at what is wrong with your spouse, just do your best to obey God & be the best spouse you can be. Look for opportunities to say thank you & be specific about what it is you appreciate.
Show grace (as we all have been shown grace) - unconditional favour. Choose to be happy - flirt, have a sense of humour, choose when you can, to be kind, rather than to be right. Love well. 💒
Pray God lifts the scales from the lukewarm and lost eyes, opens their ears and soften their hearts. Pray God brings revival to the earth. Pray the Lord of Harvest send forth laborers into the harvest. Pray God strengthens His children, gives them more discernment and wakes them up 🆙
They need repentance not revival.
@@lechatbotte. revival will bring repentance with it
Once married, always married until death do us part, no exception. This applies to all human beings, regardless of whether you are a sinner or a saint.
My parents Divorce ruined our lives. It changed the trajectory of who we were supposed to be. It impacted our lives because of the years of stress due to years of pent up hurt and anger. My parents divorce even impacts my brothers children. The true generational curse.
As always Pastor Allen, you present things in a clear, biblical and graceful manner, no matter how difficult the situation. May God continue to grow and bless your ministry and your family!!
Divorce and remarriage are sins, and God will never contradict His word! There are no grounds for divorce, God hates divorce and He said no man should separate what He has brought together. Divorce also leads people to commit remarriage adultery, please repent from this teaching, divorce doesn’t give anyone the freedom to remarry, it just means they are free from being obliged to remain married. Being born again doesn’t give anyone the freedom to remarry because marriage is not a sin, being born again means you repent and become an obedient saint from being a sinner, if you commit wilful sin you will still account for it before God if you don’t stop sinning and repent. Being born again doesn’t mean we are no longer our earthly parent’s children, or parents to our children, so how can being born again mean you’re free to stop being someone’s lawfully wedded spouse before God’s eyes who joined you as one? Lord Jesus Christ said except for reasons of fornication NOT adultery, this man is very crafty and manipulative with words, repent!
Luke 16:18
“Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.”
Matthew 19:6
“Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”
Matthew 19:9
“And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.”
Romans 7:3
“So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.”
@@hillarysudeikis2264 i am not going to argue doctrine. I agree with Pastor Parr. Good day!
Very good teaching and this is exactly what I was always taught. Can you talk about how a single, never married person should view marrying someone who is divorced under these different scenarios? This is an issue that many singles, especially older singles, are faced with when dating.
If a married man or married woman who are in a covenant marriage divorce for any reason AND remarry, they are committing adultery. If anyone marries a divorced man or woman, who has a living covenant spouse, he or she is also committing adultery. -- Matthew 19:9, Mark 10:11-12, Luke 16:18 and Romans 7:2-3
Stay clear of divorced people who have a living covenant spouse. If you have never been married or your covenant spouse has died, you may marry a never-married person or someone whose covenant spouse has died. If you marry anyone else, you will be committing adultery. Adultery will prevent you from inheriting the kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9-10 and Galatians 5:19-21).
@Sasha373 I am in the same boat. Not that I ever really dated a divorced man.. but I have come across a few who claimed to be Christians. My experience had been that they enjoy the attention and the ego boost, but for a serious relationship they only wanted a divorced woman.. who supposedly knows it all in the bedroom and has 'proven' her femininity by having kids.
It is tragicomical that I have been told I should not limit my options, but be open to a divorced man.. well, I have tried, and it did not end well at all.. the problem is that they do not seem to be open to a single never married woman.
Still trusting God to send me a kind man who has not been sleeping around or married before..
Brother Allen you are in the zone with these teachings. People forget that marriage is the example of Christ and his church and if you view it that way you won’t be so quick to try and end it.
I’m divorced. Divorce sucks. Even though it’s been over 5 years, I still feel like I’m tied to him. I wish I could let go. Be careful who you give your heart to. Submit to God fully first. Now I’m not sure whether or not remarrying is his plan for my life.
I grew up in a family where Divorce wasn't an option. As I got older and got married, I felt like I was on cloud 9 and couldn't comprehend the D-word. Not until it happened to me! 7 year itch is what they call it. It was a slow burn of about a year and a half where I was noticing a change in spouses behavior until that one day, I'LL NEVER FORGET, she sat down with me and expressed that she wasn't happy and was ready to leave, and didn't want help (quiet divorce). Spent weeks in prayer and advice to diplomatically tell her the implications of her desertion but felt it was God's will for this to happen. Looking back, I don't disagree. There's a distinction between PERMISSIBLE and BENEFICIAL will. I believe He permitted this to happen since her separation from me, making her the the unfaithful one. I remarried with confidence that God didn't look down on me to one that is faithful. Thanks for the video!
the Bible makes no provision, for the one who has been divorced.....er.....no innocent party, so the remarriage, is....Biblically....adultery...
I'm not sure you had grounds for remarriage though. If your wanted wanted to leave, so be it, you can't stand in her way. However so long as she didn't commit adultery on you, that means you're still married to her in the eyes of God and for you to remarry is actually adultery. The best option was just to remain single.
Grocery Grip, Your God is my God. Those other 2 commenters, they have a different god, one who doesn't understand what truly goes on, who doesn't see our hearts. I feel pity for those 2. They need to be saved. They need God's love.
The woman at the well was married 4x so obviously God identified those marriages whether there was adultary involved or not. There are def grounds for divorce and re marriage after adultary as the marriage covenant has already been broken.
Knowing you has been a blessing. I learn so much from you. I pray to meet you someday.
REMEMBER, IF you didn’t do everything right, ASK for forgiveness and move on!!! You can be a new creature EVERY time you pray and renew your mind!!
Amen!!!
My parents divorced for a very different reason. When I was younger my father was very uninvolved in our lives, didn't do his responsibility as far as taking care of us kids, didn't do any house chores, and was constantly berating on my mother. Sometimes he would get physical with her. For the record my mom held a full time job sometimes two jobs at a time to make sure we survived. My father had absolutely no desire of counseling or fixing anything, and made mom severely depressed that she had enough. So one day she kicked him out. I'm not sure if it's biblical or not (I'm still learning), but I think that was Mom's best decision she made as far as her mental health and possibly safety.
So brave of your mother. Thanks for sharing.
Did your mother go to the counseling? For how long and what did she get out of it? Did your father work at all? Was he around the house even if your mom was unhappy with him? There are 2 sides to every story! if you are smart, you would NOT accept your mothers side of the story as the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth! Women have this nasty habit of lying about what is really happening. As a 50 yr old guy, I have been lied about countless times by women to the point I dont trust must of it. some of this can be explained as the typical: women see with pink glasses & men see with blue glasses! We dont see the same thing in the same way! thats fundamental. but women have a half dozen reasons why they would be tempted to lie about that situation! i am sorry if this hurts peoples feelings, but most modern men are walking away from marriage with modern women because of women lying & womens inability to take personal responsibility (according to other peoples definition, not the woman in question's)! So if women want to know why men dont want to get marriaed any more, these are 2 of many reasons! GOD bless your poor dad!
@@kamilahdouglas1609 Not really! Not strong, not brave in 2022!
Yes she was very brave and a strong woman, that was the best decision she could have made!
@@inconnu4961 What a mean thing to say. Of course, it’s a bit ambiguous, so maybe you didn’t mean it the way I took it.
the visuals are so clean 🔥 Allen has upgraded 👏
I pray to YAHUSHA before I gotten married again after my first wife died.
I felt that I need to share this christian book with you whether you're married or not. "Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life" by Townsend.
But we aren't allowed to control our lives. God wants to control our lives
@@dhenderson1810 of course, the book doesn't teach that we must exclude God from our plans :)
I grew up in the Southern Baptist church and had a skewed perspective on how submission works and once married always married no matter what happens in the marriage. So, I got married at 19, 1995, and in four years my marriage started turning for the worst. We walked away from the church and started living of the world. Eventually, because of bringing too many worldly things into our marriage it ended. I joined a study, Divorce Care, which helped me forgive and reconcile in my heart with my ex and with God. God also showed me the scripture in Mark 10:9 & Matt 19:6, if God puts it together then nothing can separate it but if God never blessed the union then it will and can be separated. He showed me, He never blew my marriage because it was what I wanted and I didn’t go to Him about it. He showed me that it could have worked if both of us wanted it too but because he didn’t then God released me and gave me peace about it. Thank you for this message. I enjoy listening to your videos.
It is wonderful to see you come to the truth of God's word. 🙏🙌👏
I wholeheartedly agree with God's Word on Marriage and divorce. The disconnect is in our modern laws which incentivize divorce. What is needed is a complete overhaul overturning of marital / family law. (1) Abolish all forms of alimony / spousal support. Period. No exceptions. (2) Community property only available with proven adultery or physical abuse (not falsely accused). Filing for divorce for any other reason forfeits all property rights. (3) Establish monthly 3rd party financial audits of all child support expenditures to ensure completely used on provision for children. Implement these measures and you will have enduring marriages and healthy families.💯
Allen you are awesome ! Thank you to both your wife and you and your whole entire team for this ministry.
You haven't mentioned abuse. My husband never laid a finger on me physically, but I was ridiculed, fat-shamed, (he called me a fat pig in front of my then 6 year old daughter). I once spring cleaned the whole house, and he called me lazy because I can't hang a picture straight. I once said to my Dad, "If he blacked my eye just once, I've got him" (Incidentally, I was only about a stone overweight at the time, so hardly morbidly obese!)
I think when the church seems to communicate that abuse (physical or emotional) is not a valid reason leave the marriage, it makes the victim of the abuse feel worthless and like their experience/feelings/safety/emotional wellbeing does not matter. I was married and divorced. My ex husband passed away. I am "free" to remarry, but I actually cannot because I am traumatized
I wish I could black that guy's eye. Evil person.
@@jenniferjj2155 Hi Jennifer, thanks for your reply. After your horrible experiences, why on earth would you want to remarry! I did have a boyfriend, but he died suddenly 2 years ago (not COVID related). I'm now single and happy.
@@wendyboss944 Exactly! I'm so sorry for your loss😔
Emotional and mental abuse is just as bad as physical abuse.. even if the bruises aren't visible, they are there, and they can go deep. Toxic relationships can eventually affect our physical health, too, so it is a very dangerous and harmful situation. Please believe that Jesus loves you as one of His dear children, and does not condone abuse. I hope you can find help to get out. (a good exit plan may mean that you never tell him about your intentions of leaving.. stay safe)
You had a really good take. Which is exactly what it states in the bible.
I think a good topic for a video is how prevalent divorce is becoming amongst believers.
I totally understand what you are saying Pastor, However, if a woman divorces her man because the man has committed adultery, what happens to the Christian man? or the woman if she commits it?
Very interesting question, I’ve thought that too. But it’s not separated in the Bible. Matthew 19:9 says, "I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.
@@CountryFriedCreations I agree. That's what the Bible states, so how long does he or she stay single, and if single, is he still a Christian?
I am married and sometimes I want to walk away because I hate being accountable to someone. Thats a sinful behavior. I agree with God, deep down I love her more than that and what a betrayal of such a soft and tender love to walk away from a unity like that. God is right we need help. Love is thee greatest commandment. The devil exploits us, walking away is not the correct choice unless they are going around with other people. Thats literally not safe for your physical health. Make it work beside that please.
Thank you for explaining and confirming how I interpreted this subject
I got divorced cuz of desertion and abandonment but never remarried and it's been 30 years ...I believe what bible says even though I have the right to remarry
What about a believing spouse who leaves and still want a divorce despite claiming to be a Christian?☹
I so wish that more people would understand that divorce isn't such an horrific sin as they want to push down on people who are divorced or are going through a divorce. Divorce with legitimate reasons that is. I had such a difficult time with people who basically shunned and tried to shame my mother because of divorce. But there were legitimate reasons including and not limited to child abuse and alcoholism and abuses of many kinds. I so wish people would stop basically making people who got out of horrible and abusive marriages feel like dirt and like they're the ones that were at fault etc. It makes me so mad the amount of times people in church and those of high standing in the church shames others for deciding to divorce. Somethings cannot change especially when there's abuse and violence involved it's better to get out than to stay and get beat everyday or killed in some cases. I myself studied pastoral counseling for a few years, and i was shunned , given a huge cold shoulder in a church because i stood up about it and spoke about it. Said no one deserves abuse and no one should stay in an abusive relationship or even marriage.or a marriage with an abusive addict or alcoholic. I said it to a church leader and It made me very unpopular. They immediately told me that divorce is wrong and persons should stay in the marriage and be an example for the abusive spouse. So obviously it didn't sit well with me at all. I'm absolutely fine with unpopularity but with the treatment of those who are victims not so much. And yes I left that particular church because of a whole lot of other reasons including that incident. And abuse of power from many of the church.
Read all of 1 Corinthians 7. Like you said. The wife doesn’t initiate the divorce. So as long as he’s alive and not dead the covenant is still there. Desertion, he may still be alive. Why in Matthew is it saying that if someone divorces and marries another, they are committing adultery ? Even when the husband initiates the divorce. God hates divorce. Aren’t we supposed to hate what he hates? My husband divorced me and I will remain single unless there’s reconciliation,as the word says. But only if he has given his life to Christ because why go back into the same mess. Unequally yoked. God is the priority
Very great teaching! Always believe exactly what you stated! Now I have confirmation 🙏❤️
I wish more people would address physical abuse. I went through this before my conversion which ended in divorce, he was a drug using alcoholic that abused me. I would have ended my life if I had to stay with him, I was that miserable. Marriage counselor supported his drug use although he didn't know the full extent. People stuck in this are desperate and nobody ever addresses this. Why not? Please make a video regarding this.
Anyone in a physically abusive environment should get to safety. However, if you separate from your covenant spouse, you must remain unmarried or be reconciled to your spouse (1 Corinthians 7:10-11). If a married man or married woman who are in a covenant marriage divorce for any reason and remarry, they are committing adultery. If anyone marries a divorced man or woman, they are also committing adultery. -- Matthew 19:9, Mark 10:11-12, Luke 16:18 and Romans 7:2-3
Thank you for your teaching it was great.
Matthew 5: 32, 1 Corinthians 7.
That's it, folks, The church has been informed. Not recommending staying around for any kind of serious abuse. Separate, yes, but divorce is not an option at this time. Should the spouse commit adultery while separated, then refer to Matthew 5: 32. Careful YOU don't fall into temptation while separated.
Divorce is terrible for this world and for children. I divorced because it was the only legal way to separate my finances from my spouse's in order to save the house so my children wouldn't end up homeless. I would have lived with the spouse forever, never even telling anyone we were divorced but spouse chose otherwise. I would have sacrificed myself forever for the sake of my vows and the children but I was NOT willing to let my children end up homeless.
Why is it that no one speaks on believer who marries a divorcee who did not divorce their spouse for biblical reasons?
Divorce is easily accepted and "understood" now. My ex called to say he went to a religious "class" to help him get rid of his "unnecessary guilt". No way to cover all the lies and deceit, but he convinced my parents divorce was my idea. My father kicked me out. Nowhere to go, I lived in my car. When he didn't return 3 months later to talk, as he'd "promised", my father apologized. Don't be so quick to excuse what you don't know.
Without knowing any other details, this is why divorce and remarriage are okay, because those who don't believe in it, do wicked things to the one who divorces.
If one didn't believe that lie, they would treat others, especially their family right, in those instances.
This is how dangeerous it is to believe only part of God's word, even most of it
In scripture, there is basis for divorce and remarriage.
The only thing I can't find in the Bible is concerning violence and extreme emotional abuse. But when I ask God, He tells me that those things are divorcible. I came across a comment by an old Russian Jewish woman, who said, the Hebrew word for rape, includes violence.
But the deceived religious ones, they only know how to accuse, and not show mercy. They have no salvation to offer, only condemnation.
Brother I do not understand. Please speak to the women that have been married to men who were believers and abused it in the marriage. I was married to someone who was physically and emotionally abusive. He struggled deeply with drug addiction. It was no longer safe for me to remain in that marriage for myself or my children. Please brother you have to address this in your video about divorce
Sister, hello 👋🏾
I want to say this first: forgive me for a pretty long response
And now to say this to you 👉🏾 as long as you took it to the Lord Jesus, He's already addressed it with you. You're no longer married correct? Then it *was* addressed by the one whom it matters to.
We Christians are doing our best to understand the word of God, when we read and apply it to our lives but, the Holy Spirit who abides in us, helps us to live a victorious Christian life.
1 Corinthians 13 vs 12:
For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
👆🏾 Because none us knows everything, so I wouldn't necessarily look towards Mr. Parr nor anyone to address certain things especially about marriage. God instituted it and He alone understands it even more than the Apostle Paul how it should be enjoyed and lived out amongst heterosexual couples.
Hope you're doing well even now 🙏🏾
What about a marriage where the other is abusive,.physically, mentally?
You can divorce. God is good and gives good gifts. What you have is not good. You can get remarried. 1 Corinthians 7:27,28a. God is good.
In matthew it doesn't say adultery it says fornication which is a reference to deuteronomy 24:1 which state if a man finds something unclean in her then divorce is allowed unclean as sexual immorality before marriage
Read what John Piper says about Matthew 5 and 19 if you are unable to see how others read it differently. Notice that only Matthew has this exception for divorce. Why is that? John Piper argues why that is and concludes that adultery is NOT a grounds for divorce. I've never cheated on my wife by the way so that's not a motivation for thinking this way. Overall a good video Allen.
I know we must Trust God in our brokenness. I think some of this teaching is solid. BUT GOD is rich in mercy. Numbers 30 … we are the woman, then Bride of Christ.
Wow. This video will have so many people turned from the gates of heaven because they would rather hear a pleasure message that lightens the burden God made for their growth, then to actually follow the godly way. I will pray that as many people as possible see through this demonic speech, and truly seek the godly way, not the easy path of the devil.
I’ve actually been married 3 times. My first marriage was an abusive marriage where my then wife was abusive towards me. At the same time I had committed adultery and she later did the same thing because of our separation from each other. My second marriage was ended because of sexual sin on my then wife’s part. She wanted us to have an open marriage and I didn’t. She was cheating on me and wanted to give me permission to see other women because she was cheating on me so I filed for divorce and moved out. My third marriage was an unhappy marriage because she started going out of town not letting me know where she waa going and not letting me know how long she was going be out of town and not letting me know when she was coming back home. I am single now and have decided to let go and let God. I have been dealing with my own sexual sins as a single man. It’s hard but that’s because of Satan. I know God will get me through this.
The Bible says "Because of the hardness of the heart"
Divorce and remarriage are sins, and God will never contradict His word! There are no grounds for divorce, God hates divorce and He said no man should separate what He has brought together. Divorce also leads people to commit remarriage adultery, please repent from this teaching, divorce doesn’t give anyone the freedom to remarry, it just means they are free from being obliged to remain married. Being born again doesn’t give anyone the freedom to remarry because marriage is not a sin, being born again means you repent and become an obedient saint from being a sinner, if you commit wilful sin you will still account for it before God if you don’t stop sinning and repent. Being born again doesn’t mean we are no longer our earthly parent’s children, or parents to our children, so how can being born again mean you’re free to stop being someone’s lawfully wedded spouse before God’s eyes who joined you as one? Lord Jesus Christ said except for reasons of fornication NOT adultery.
Luke 16:18
“Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.”
Matthew 19:6
“Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”
Matthew 19:9
“And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.”
Romans 7:3
“So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.”
It is a tough but needed teaching
Amazing content Allen .. yu save my life
I have been through divorce multiple times. I believe Paul's advice to stay single was prophetic. Even though he had no idea at the time he wrote that. In our modern society, this should be the default position of every unmarried Christian male. Biblical marriage is extinct in Western civilization and men of faith have no business being involved in it. Marriage in the West has been perverted from God's design and is hazardous to men's physical and mental health. For many, this is a harsh position to take, but it is the correct one.
God's design for the family and for marriage has a hierarchy with defined roles. Modern society had denied this design and decided to take the opposite approach. God's design of God to husband to wife to children has been changed to wife and children. Both God and the husband have been swept aside. The authority of the husband has been legally stripped away by all of Western society. This same Western society wants the husband to still be responsible for the family, but without any authority. That is not how it works. That is why the system is broken and why men should avoid marriage at all costs. Without male authority there needs to be no male participation. A man does not need to be married and sign a government contract to serve God.
I was looking about some explain a man should leave his mother and father to cling to his wife because his mother act like wife. I will not accept her at all in our life.
This was so good had to watch it twice. Currently going through a situation with a cheating spouse, and abandonment...divorce is a very real possibility for me and it's very painful and hard to deal with. However I know God's got me either way and my relationship with Him through all of this has gotten stronger. Thank you for this Allen! Praying for anybody watching this and are going through it with their spouse. 🙏🏽🙏🏽 Be encouraged. God bless❤
I’m in so much condemnation about this subject me and my ex husband got married 10 years ago both of us committed adultery through out the whole marriage I started dating a guy for 5 years I got baptized God brought me out the clubs I don’t drink or smoke anymore like God has changed my life around I got married to my boyfriend 6months ago now he’s my husband I was so happy at first but I been seeing different teaching saying I’m going to hell because my first husband not dead other people say since we defile our marriage bed it’s grounds to get remarried some teaching say sexual immorality is only for divorce I can’t get remarried I’m at the point I’m scared I don’t want to go to hell for adultery I’m bout to divorce my second husband and reconcile with my first one hopefully I just want to please the Lord
Said gently and without condemnation in other words perfectly 👌 I don't think anyone could have said it any better but my friends if you are divorced and there has been no infidelity before it was finalized and if they are a believer in christ (which seems nonsensical how can there be such disunity among people of God who were supposed to be in love and are now supposed to be in love with their Christian brothers and sisters) be that as it may if you have an item that you just can't resolve and must divorce then you are officially ordered to stay that way unless you later find a way to work past that issue and get remarried.
Not only are you the mailman, you are a male, man! 😂😂😂😂😂
I'm just messin'.......
Whoa! If I remarried in an illicit way I'm in adultery and you're saying to stay that way? Idts. Pretty sure that marriage is invalid and must be separated to stop adultering.
I have gone through a divorce because my husband cheated and I cheated to get back at him. He beat me and tried to kill me so I got out the marriage and now I’m remarried but I live with such heavy guilt that I set us up for hell. I hate how I feel because I don’t know if I will get to heaven and if I damned my husband as well 😭😭
I never wanted a divorce, but she was too mentally gone from ever being reconciled. No amount of counseling could change how abusive (physically, emotionally, verbally) she is. She was so unfaithful and abandoned me. Under biblical grounds, I got a divorce and free to marry another.
You married again?
@@alejandrogaricia2252 He doesn't say, but if he does, he has not sinned, 1 Corinthians 7:27, 28a.
1 Corinthians 7
39The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord. 40But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God
Amen!
My wife wants to leave. I haven't been a good communicator and haven't been there for her the way she needed me to. I'm so lost and I prayed every night for years for God to help me be a better listener and communicator but I still kept making the same mistakes. She feels nothing for me now. I feel like I can't do anything about her pain and nothing to save our marriage. She doesn't feel there's anything to save. She feels pain around me. That's it. I don't want to leave her. I want to reconcile but she doesn't. I just have to be single for the rest of my life then? I'm so lost and we're both hurting and our kids will too
Buy Issuing the Divine Restraining Orders from the courts of Heaven by Francis Myles. There are prayers there, one of them addresses marriage
No, you can get remarried if you two don't reconcile and then divorce.
God cares about you and your family.
Please don't listen to the no divorce and no remarriage people. They don't care what happens to you and falsely say if you divorce and remarry, you will go to hell.
That's wicked, because God can forgive anything and give you a new start.
Believe God, for He is good. My prayers are with you.
Imagine having to answer to God on judgement day and you have to answer for why you divorced your wife for burning the toast lol
Good stuff. 💪🏾Can you do a topic on the book of Malachi?
If as a believer you divorce a believer you are forbidden to remarry how can you say if that's the case God will forgive you that's talking out of both sides of your mouth.
Rom 7:2 For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.
3 So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.
Mark 10:5-12.
Verse 6 But from the beginning of creation God ' made them male and female.'
Oh, I accept Biblical teaching on divorce. Marriage and sexuality are God's way of punishing us. Most marriages-both inside and outside Biblical Christianity- are miserable, but God also gave us sexual desires and marriage is the only way he will allow us to fulfill them. The dilemma is either be celibate (and miserable) or be married and likely miserable (but at least you can have sex).
God saying we won't be married in heaven (and therefore being essentially asexual) is a mercy he extends to us for enduring his curse in our mortal life.
The one omission I struggle with understanding is "Why is there not biblical grounds for divorce when physical abuse is present?"
To me, that is as bad as cheating on your spouse.
There is no such thing as a biblical ground for divorcing from a covenant marriage. Marriage is for life and no one is to separate the married couple; not even the married couple shall separate themselves (Matthew 19:3-8 and Mark 10:2-9). Only death breaks the marriage covenant which then allows the surviving spouse to remarry if he or she chooses (Romans 7:2-3 and 1 Corinthians 7:39).
The book of Matthew which was written to a Jewish audience only allowed a betrothed husband to divorce his betrothed wife if she committed fornication (premarital sex). A betrothal is similar to what we in the Western world call an engagement to be married. In the Jewish culture, in order to break the betrothal, the man had to get a divorce from the betrothal.
In accordance with the Old Testament and Jewish culture, a married woman could NEVER commit fornication if she had sex with a man who was not her husband. She could only commit ADULTERY because she is married. Likewise, a single woman could NEVER commit adultery. She could only commit FORNICATION, even if she had sex with a married man, because she is single. Under the Old Testament, under which the Jews were living before Christ's death on the cross, and the Jewish culture, the charge of adultery was based upon the marital status of the woman. If the woman was married, the illicit sex was ALWAYS adultery. If the woman was single, the illicit sex was ALWAYS fornication. Read Leviticus 20:10 and Deuteronomy 22:22.
In Matthew 19:7 and Mark 10:4, we know that the Pharisees were asking Jesus about a divorce from a covenant marriage and not a divorce from a betrothal because of their mention of Moses' divorce law in Deuteronomy 24:1-4. Moses' divorce law only pertained to married husbands and wives; not betrothed husbands and wives.
So, when Jesus said, "And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, EXCEPT it be for FORNICATION..." in Matthew 19:9, He was allowing betrothed husbands to divorce their betrothed wives who committed fornication. The Jews knew that fornication could only refer to a single woman; not a married woman. Because a betrothed wife is a single woman, they also knew that the divorce they could have is only from a betrothed wife if she is guilty of fornication.
I hope this helps your understanding.
Don't worry, Peter Young. God does not want spouses beat up and worse and will urge the beat up one to leave. Maybe divorce and get remarried, too. 1 Corinthians 7:27,28a.
Or you can stay married and live separately, or get divorced and stay single.
It's up to you. Pray and know God is good and hears your heart cry. When He answers, it will bring peace to your soul. Trust Him, He knows you and cares about you.
@@michaelalbertson7457 Thank you Michael, fortunately, I do not have this issue for myself and my wife is amazing! I mainly just observe it with others that I have known.
I will read these verses you mentioned and pray on them. God bless you!
@@Peter.Young21 So, it appears that the scriptures in which Jesus said not to let anyone separate a covenant marriage and that to divorce and marry another is to commit adultery mean absolutely nothing to you. Read Matthew 19:1-, Mark 10:2-12, Luke 16:18. Also read Romans 7:2-3 and 1 Corinthians 7:39 where Paul says that only death breaks the marriage covenant, so 1 Corinthians 7:27-28 do not allow divorce and remarriage because Paul was writing to virgins (See 1 Corinthians 7:25). Married people are not virgins. These scriptures need to be read in context (1 Corinthians 7:25-36).
Yet, when someone tells you that a person has options that include divorce and remarriage, and gives you a couple of verses that do not support divorce or remarriage, that you listen to.
May the Lord have mercy on you and open your eyes and ears to receive the truth that there are no biblically based divorces under the New Testament and certainly there are no biblically based remarriages after those divorces.
@@godgavemeeyestosee I actually hadn't responded to you initially because you missed the point of what I said and addressed me as if I had said something else entirely. I wasn't asked whether or not divorce was permitted by God through the scriptures. I said that I struggle with the fact that God does not address(that I know of) a way for a person to get out of a marriage where physical abuse is present.
I struggle with this because in my heart of hearts, I would definitely tell any person to leave that situation if the other person was unwilling to stop.
What you pointed out is something I am already aware of and I believe that divorce is not permitted outside of what brother Allen Parr pointed out in this video and Adultery which is clearly stated several times in Matthew.
I agree with much of what you said, but I disagree with your interpretation on Matthews adultery.
Hi, if you are both christains and she leaves you, not because of infidelity but because she doesn't love you anymore. Is it ok to re marry. I just want to be in God's will. I have met a beautiful Godly spirit filled Lady.
Good solid biblical advice 👍
nice series keep it up
Finally, Alan I have been asking this question to so many people about when you are new in Christ is it OK to remarry, I like to hear that I can, thank you
If your ex hasn’t remarried, your first step (the loving path) is to share your conversion and the gospel with her.
What Does Jesus say about marrying a divorced person?
It is okay to remarry, new in Christ and old in Christ.
I use 1 Corinthians 7:27,28a, as a valid reason from the Bible for getting remarried.
I know other parts say no, but all scriptures are from God, so it stands to reason that God says it is okay either way.
But I do believe as well as adultery, that violence, abandonment, and extreme verbal abuse are divorcible, for God is good and does not want people to suffer at the hands of unreasonable and wicked spouses. Also, to give all, the chance to marry again, which is good, He gives us another chance to be blessed in marriage. For He is a good God.
@@michaelalbertson7457 Being driven away or divorced by a non Christian spouse leaves a Christian free to marry. I’m NOT going to address that below.
God is good. Therefore, He demands that His children do good. Committing adultery is not good. Christians divorcing before the law does not divorce them in heaven. One who remarries while the “ex” still lives commits adultery.
If a pair are Christians who have not given evidence that they are false converts, the loving solution is dealing with their problems and hoping to remarry. This does not leave room for marrying another.
Being happy does not mean adultery is not adultery. Happiness is not God’s ultimate goal for His children. Holiness is. Happiness is not God’s ultimate rule for His children. Love is.
@@ricksonora6656 So no matter how bad a spouse is, once one divorces them, they can't remarry until that "bad" spouse has died?
Let me tell you what has happened to you.
When I was an atheist, I saw really bad marriages and really good remarriages, so I understood that some divorces and remarriages were good.
So when I became a Christian, what I knew, was by backed up by the Holy Spirit in explaining scripture.
And some remarriages were godly when the first marriages were not. Easy to see those remarriages were of God.
But you let your interpretation of scripture, start denying what I, as an atheist, knew to be good. That is called a religious spirit blinding your eyes so that you cannot know the truth.
You know the scriptures, so you either choose to pervert, ignore the truth of the scriptures in the Bible that disagree with your beliefs, because of a religious spirit, which is not of God.
All the truth you know is undone by your last comment, in the case of being a true believer.
I was married and working in the ministry my wife and i had differernces and divorced i lost my ministry and condemned by the church i was in ,years later remmaried im happy my wife isnt a christian dint consider that when i married she is better than the so called christian one,i still believe im saved but people hold it over your head when they fin d out but i di d no wrong to deserve this I rhink JESUS died for ALLL our sins.
What about mental, physical, emotional, sexual abuse. Are these reason for divorce in a Christian home¿
Luke 16:18 KJV
Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.
What if they are a believer but don’t do the works? Like don’t stick to biblical principles. and don’t honor marriage and has been gone from the house for months ? I really need help how to move I’ve been hurting since I got married September 1 of this year and he left and went to another state and only focus on money and have not came home yet and I have asked him can you please come home and do not care about my feelings would not call or text to check on me. I have to call him. How do I move from there being a daughter of Christ ?
I honestly think it’s best to stay single
It's NEVER all of a sudden!
My wife left and gave me the kids 11 years ago. I entertained the idea of remarrying, but after dating only twice, I realized I have an impeccable ability to attract women that seem sweet and innocent until several months into the relationship, when their true colors start to emerge. This has been EVERY woman I’ve ever dated. I’ve been to therapy over it, and 2 separate therapists came to the conclusion that because I’m soft spoken and emotionally sensitive, I’m a target for women whom seek control and see me as a naive pushover that won’t notice or be confrontational if they’re being unfaithful. Covert narcissists to be specific.
I took this as God’s way of saying He won’t bless any further attempts at marriage. I was devastated at first, but now I’m living for God like never before and more than happy to stay single for the remainder of my life.
My point is, even if you have a legit reason to be divorced, it doesn’t mean you have to remarry. Sometimes God doesn’t allow us to pursue the same path as our remarried neighbors. If that’s the case, stick around, because He has something else in mind for you.
my ex husband left and was in adultery and there are times Im lonely but I think of all the chaos I was in and the total lack of any desire that I may not remarry. Its like after the dust clears I think of the realities of marriage and its like ehhh Im good. I have seen people who have remarried 4,5,6 times after that first divorce. i dont want that
Bravo well said. I have embraced being single the rest of my life. I feel happy content and fulfilled in Jesus.
I'm glad your happy and content but don't be shocked if one day God does bless you with a Godly women who loves the role that God gives to women. A women who looks to her husband to lead her and the family and is submissive in the ways God intends a wife to be. I never thought I would be the submissive wife but I have to admit I love it since I found a husband who is kind and loving in the ways a good husband should be.
The Lord being all knowing, knows what our current culture would be we must obey Him. No excuses
@@klauge763 If God reopens that door, He already knows I’m gonna need irrefutable proof that this woman is from Him. lol
Very solid teaching. My wife and I went through a separation until we both realized that neither one of us had grounds for divorce, so we reconciled. We realized it was the best decision when we saw the change in our kids. Their demeanor, their kindness, and their willingness to share what was on their hearts. God reinforced that one strand that held us together, and for that, we are eternally blessed
Currently going through a separation and I wanted to know y'all's reasons if you don't mind sharing. My husband has denied the faith after seven years and asked for a divorce, but has changed his mind but still wants separation and I'm so confused. He stays with his parents and stays the night sometimes . He says his reasons were for being un happy , sprung it on me after our 7 year anniversary . He's very confused and in turn that's left me very confused. I want reconciliation but he he wants to leave as devastating as it'd be I'll let go because I don't deserve to be in limbo for who knows how long
@@brianatucker9982 Hi, just wanted to chime in because I went through that situation. Please get biblical counseling because it's a very turbulent time. You want to be sure that he is genuine and willing to do the work that's needed in your marriage. There's a good YT channel called Marriage Helper that may help you in the meantime as you look for answers. Be very prayerful and cautious about moving forward after separation so you don't have more setbacks.
Thanks I have already been watching those videos. Very insightful
@@brianatucker9982 🙏🏽🙏🏽
@@brianatucker9982
I wish I could say something smart....but I don't know details about your lives.
But I offer to pray for you. God in Heaven, we ask you for discernment, and wisdom. We pray for the best option, that you could intervene in his heart and mind for a positive outcome. But he needs to be willing to repent and submit himself to you. Lord we ask you, that it wouldn't be long before it would be known to Briana what is the direction of their future. Thank you Lord that you know, you care and you help 🙏🏻 In Jesus's Holy name. Amen.
As a single woman (no bf, no kids) I am scared to death of divorce. As much as I desire marriage, the failure thereof makes me fearful. Thank you Brother for shedding light on this topic.
It's very scary! So i don't blame you! The Civil government has ruined Marriage as an institution. But just like in the Bible, not everyone will get to lead storybook lives unfortunately! But also like the Bible, we try to stay in the spirit and follow GOD's leadings! Often when we chase a dream or goal, it seems to elude us. But when we stop chasing it, it seems to become available! GOD bless!
Live not in Fear. Trust in God
@@inconnu4961 just what I need to hear! Thank you and God bless :)
Don’t look for a husband. Look for friends. You might find one who’s worth the risk. Or you might have the gift of singleness.
Don’t let fear of divorce turn into an anti-idol. If you do escalate a friendship to beau to husband, fear can turn you into a possessive, controlling, suspicious, miserable wife.
You should listen to the Focus on the Family podcasts about marriage. Get the right image in your mind before it’s needed.
@@ricksonora6656 thank you for the advice brother. I like "Focus on the Family". Admittedly, I haven't listened to their podcasts in a while. Thanks for the reminder.
I thought I wanted to separate from my wife of 15 years but I asked god to help guide our marriage and thank the Lord I stopped wanting to separate my wife because of no affection from her. She’s more loving and attentive than ever and I’m more in love with her than ever! We have two children who are growing up so fast and even though I’m recovering from a stroke in a nursing home, my wife has been there for me and my boys! I’m so grateful!
See, God is also a redeemer ❤️
Thank you for you testimony. May God bless you.
Get well soon brother 🙏
People simply don't take their marriage vows seriously, when they get married.
Thank God u obeyed the Helper, that u r ok, and ur other Helper is respecting u in Jesus mighty name.
This IS a sensitive topic to me, I've never been divorced but I do come from a family that was broken by adultery & divorce & I had my heart broken by someone whom I believed was the one I would marry. I know that all of God's commandments are important but to me personally his commandment about not committing adultery is the one that resonates with me, I have a personal hatred towards adultery & divorce & I'm so sorrowful to see how divorce is running rampant & destroying our world.
You are so right. Altho I see broken marriages all around strangely among my small group of friends and family the marriages should last.
Divorce itself is a result of ongoing unrepentant sin and selfishness. Divorce is just the final act.
Divorce and remarriage are sins, and God will never contradict His word! There are no grounds for divorce, God hates divorce and He said no man should separate what He has brought together. Divorce also leads people to commit remarriage adultery, please repent from this teaching, divorce doesn’t give anyone the freedom to remarry, it just means they are free from being obliged to remain married. Being born again doesn’t give anyone the freedom to remarry because marriage is not a sin, being born again means you repent and become an obedient saint from being a sinner, if you commit wilful sin you will still account for it before God if you don’t stop sinning and repent. Being born again doesn’t mean we are no longer our earthly parent’s children, or parents to our children, so how can being born again mean you’re free to stop being someone’s lawfully wedded spouse before God’s eyes who joined you as one? Lord Jesus Christ said except for reasons of fornication NOT adultery, this man is very crafty and manipulative with words, repent!
Luke 16:18
“Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.”
Matthew 19:6
“Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”
Matthew 19:9
“And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.”
Romans 7:3
“So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.”
Currently going through an unwanted divorce. Our court date is December 9th. I did not sign the papers and I’m not attending the court date, as I want no part in this. If you see this, please take a moment to stop and pray that God reconciles my marriage! Thank you!!
Praying!
Praying,Brooke!!!!
Praying for you Brooke! Do not throw away your confidence. It has great reward.
I can only speak for myself, but my biggest regret in my recent unwanted divorce is signing anything or participating in any fashion in something this exceedingly wicked. As a man, I caved to the fear of having my girls largely taken away from me if I did a no-contest divorce. Even though I didn't hire a lawyer to represent me and gave away my home, money, possessions, I would do anything for the chance to go back and take my signature off that cursed document, no matter the cost. I'm assuming by your name that you are a woman, and if that is the case and you have children you probably don't have to worry about losing them at least. Regardless, I would have immense admiration for you or anyone else that did a no-contest divorce based on your Godly convictions. Be well Brooke.
Praying. Jesus Saved our Marriage after being separated for two years. I'm so very happy He did. It was hell on earth, going through divorce. The lawyers were like devil's. I kept Seeking Jesus and Reading my Bible KJV. And Praying. That's what kept me from losing it. Jesus did it for me, He can do it for you. I'm praying for you Brooke. Stay strong. Jesus Loves you.(married 21 years!) Matthew 6:33 KJV❤🙏🏼❤
Christians might find it hard to accept Christ's teaching on divorce/remarriage but ultimately it is what God wants for us that matters. The road to Heaven ain't easy....
The fact that adultery isn't illegal in the world like it's a sin in the Bible churns my stomach to no end. If it was illegal, marriage would be more permanent. But forget what the law says, marriage IS permanent in the eyes of GOD our Heavenly Father and in mine
Divorce is very painful because it happened to me, my ex wife wanted out I tried to convince her to stay and work it out she declined and my life was turned upside down. I was stressed to the max and on top of that, losing my father around the same time coping with his death and being divorced which I never wanted and now I'm going through a healing process from my heart being broken twice my ex wife and my father's death keep me lifted up in prayer.
Hey James, I hope you are doing well brother. I’m going through an unbiblical divorce and my wife stopped wearing her rings and is dating already without even filing for divorce. I understand how much this can hurt but trust that God works everything for the good of those who love Him. Keep on loving him brother and you’ll know you are in His will for your life, there is great comfort in knowing that.
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Every major decision you make you should pray about it. God will lead you down the right path
Yes and if you find yourself being led towards something other than these biblical standards, then you know that you are not being led by God, but by something else
Pray, yes. But don’t substitute “leading” for reading.
@@ricksonora6656 love it!!
It can also be said, Don't substitute reading for leading.
We need to understand what God says in the Bible, not what our fallible mind thinks. We need the mind of Christ to receive all that the Honly Spirit reveals.
Thank you so much for this message. I was married to my wife for seven years. During those years she chose to find romantic interests outside of our marriage many times. I reconciled to stay in and attempt to heal my marriage through all of this but she then decided to leave me after her last affair. All of this began after we stopped attending church and living in the word I have been struggling with the idea of divorcing her because of my personal beliefs towards marriage. Since our separation of over a year. I have resumed attending church and studying the word. Messages such as these have really helped in allowing me to understand the decision I have had to make and to deepen my connection with our savior and the path that he has chosen for me. God Bless and thank you for all of your wonderful content brother!
The only reason a Christian may initiate divorce is infidelity. But in telling Christians that they may accept divorce from a non believer the Bible says that staying together may benefit the spouse and any children. Only you, your wife and God know your situation. Try to do what God wants. Your pastor might be able to help.
Similar situation as well over here 👈🏻 prayers
May the Lord grant you peace and enable you to continue your life’s joy peace and rest is my prayer for you in Jesus name amen
the bible specifically states adultery is a permissible reason for divorce. you’re all good brother. just trust in the Lord and live for Him so he can work through you in Jesus name amen.
I am so sorry (to you too, Alicia😔). You sound like you are in the clear. You didn't up an walk away; she did. She broke the covenant. You did not. I pray that you are ok and can move on, and even for her if she ever turns it around. You are God's child, and He cares & see what you are experiencing. I can't think of a Biblical reason for you to not be allowed to be married again. Infidelity kills a marriage, and even though God can heal that, she chose to leave. Death allows for new beginning, just like if she passed away. It couldn't hurt to fast and pray about it. God cares, don't forget that💝✌️🙏
My husband and I hit a rough patch, we separated for a bit because he lost his path with God.. during that time God pruned him and made him a better husband and father, today he’s so different and such a loving man of God. Thankfully we have had no infidelity in our marriage my heart goes out to those who have felt that hurt 😔 we were blessed with a baby girl after we reconciled, now 6 months pregnant and happy as can we I am sooo grateful for how the Lord has molded my marriage
Divorce and remarriage are sins, and God will never contradict His word! There are no grounds for divorce, God hates divorce and He said no man should separate what He has brought together. Divorce also leads people to commit remarriage adultery, please repent from this teaching, divorce doesn’t give anyone the freedom to remarry, it just means they are free from being obliged to remain married. Being born again doesn’t give anyone the freedom to remarry because marriage is not a sin, being born again means you repent and become an obedient saint from being a sinner, if you commit wilful sin you will still account for it before God if you don’t stop sinning and repent. Being born again doesn’t mean we are no longer our earthly parent’s children, or parents to our children, so how can being born again mean you’re free to stop being someone’s lawfully wedded spouse before God’s eyes who joined you as one? Lord Jesus Christ said except for reasons of fornication NOT adultery, this man is very crafty and manipulative with words, repent!
Luke 16:18
“Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.”
Matthew 19:6
“Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”
Matthew 19:9
“And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.”
Romans 7:3
“So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.”
@@hillarysudeikis2264 Mam you have no right telling me to repent of a teaching I never even mentioned in my comment, maybe instead of acting high and mighty telling others to repent you should take the log out of your own eye.
Thanks for this video. I've personally witnessed a lot of divorce in my family and I've gone through the divorce in my own personal life. My marriage ended due to adultery and abuse and it was also unequally yoked and a bunch of other problems. I'm biblically able to get married again but am content with Christ and I don't want to remarry if it's not God ordained. I just want to be single and alone for a few decades or however long the Lord allows.
Beautiful things spoken. May his love guide you in all things
You are not able to get remarried people don’t understand Matt 19:9 and I say unto you who so ever put away his wife except it be for fornication…. which is death according to mosaic law Lev 20:10 Deut 22:13-24 Jesus was saying you can only get remarried if your spouse is dead.
@@spanishfly7709 please watch or rewatch the video.
Allen please stop preaching on this subject you telling people they have grounds for divorce is biblically incorrect souls will go to hell based of that grounds for divorce stuff just like you talked with Marcus Rogers I’m more then willing to have a sit down and talk to you about what the Bible really says on this… in fact how about I just link you to a live panel I was on where I confirmed it in the word Of god that there is no divorce on any grounds for anyone saved or not..
@@spanishfly7709 Jesus clearly said that adultery is grounds for a divorce. Yes it would be better to not ne divorced, yet he isn't saying that you can't only that you shouldn't if you don't have to. Has Paul taught an incorrect teaching? Survey he spoke from the Father that we should let those who leave leave. Otherwise hoe shall we hold them? It is unreasonable to ask people to hold to those who don't want to be held. Even God won't do that.
Regardless of any teaching on any biblical passage concerning divorce and remarriage, consider the actual vows you made before a Holy God in the presence of witnesses. This includes not only your marriage vows, but also the commitments you made in raising your children together in the Lord when you had them dedicated in front of the church. Most Christians initiating divorce today will rush to find whatever twisted interpretation they can to justify their actions biblically. But that will never change the words you spoke to forsake all others until death.
My wife was cheating on me with another man and refused and didn’t wanna be with me anymore so I divorced that’s not my fault I tried everything I could
Sexual immorality gives you permission to divorce per Jesus Christ
Yes you absolutely have every right. I decided to take the option to remain with her as long as I could trying to reconcile, even as she was cheating on me, and even denied me what was supposed to be ours in the marriage bed. When it came to the point that she told me to leave, I decided that it was time and that I had done all I could.
Each person's situation is unique, but whatever option you take, as long as it is in line with the biblical standards put forth here, you can walk away from it with a clear conscience. Amen!
Why did she go to another man? Never mind. It’s not my business.
@@ricksonora6656 Look at your intent
@@ricksonora6656 Because SHE was unhappy and assumed it was HIS fault! A tale as OLD as time!
Beloved brother, It does not matter what you think. Lets stick to the scriptures.
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1 Corinthians 7:39
[39]The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.
☝️☝️This is the new law as it was from the beginning. Not mozes law. Lets stick to His law. If your ex husband had been married before in that case your marriage with him was unlawfull in case it was your first marriage. In that case you would be free from the law.
Thank you for truth 👍
My husband had an affair 25 years ago. We were able to heal by the grace of God. We will be celebrating 36 years of marriage in December. It was hard but all I can say is fight. The enemy is seeking to destroy lives and marriages. But now it is sweeter than I could have ever imagined. I can honestly say I love my husband more now than I ever have before.