Why We Pick Our Skin

Поділитися
Вставка
  • Опубліковано 20 сер 2024
  • Compulsive skin picking is a surprisingly common affliction. Understanding the psychology that underpins it is the first step towards learning how to heal.
    Enjoying our UA-cam videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: t.ly/Fwd_l
    Be more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: t.ly/WYEZX
    FURTHER READING
    You can read more on this and other subjects here: bit.ly/2HTScQA
    “If we were to need any further evidence of the difficulties of being human, we need only study the poignant phenomenon that psychologists call dermatillomania - more commonly known as skin picking. Those who suffer from it will, by definition, be at the anxious end of the spectrum. Few days will be free of great worry, sometimes a specific concern that feels like it will be the end of us, or else a general eeriness and nameless dread…”
    MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE
    Watch more films on SELF in our playlist:
    bit.ly/TSOLself
    SOCIAL MEDIA
    Feel free to follow us at the links below:
    Facebook: / theschooloflifelondon
    X: / theschooloflife
    Instagram: / theschooloflifelondon
    CREDITS
    Produced in collaboration with:
    Natalia Biegaj
    www.nb-animati...
    Title animation produced in collaboration with
    Vale Productions
    www.valeproduc...

КОМЕНТАРІ • 2,6 тис.

  • @theschooloflifetv
    @theschooloflifetv  3 роки тому +344

    Do you pick your skin? What helps you day to day? Join the discussion in the comments below. If you enjoy our films and want a say on what ones we make you can now become a channel member here: ua-cam.com/channels/7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog.htmljoin

    • @Jaa_morant
      @Jaa_morant 3 роки тому +2

      Is it Allans main job now? UA-cam? Not writing or lecturing?

    • @aprilporter7908
      @aprilporter7908 3 роки тому +24

      Origami was my first step. Making mini paper butterflies kept my hands busy long enough to stop the most compulsive actions. Then obviously I started the next steps. I still do handcrafts as a creative hobby and also a source of comfort and distraction. For me the first step needs to be a step away.

    • @defenderofwisdom
      @defenderofwisdom 3 роки тому +7

      I personally think, speaker, you need to cultivate a better and more courageous core morality. As for myself - I just itch. Too many hot showers. My anxiety is self-soothed a bit more by rubbing myself or intimacy.

    • @juggs9437
      @juggs9437 3 роки тому +4

      Nothing it doesnt bother me much, got way worse problems anyway

    • @nohmanali
      @nohmanali 3 роки тому +11

      I remember distinctly that I was starting school. First few days and the teachers were checking if we had trimmed our nails and taking care of our personal hygiene. I had slightly longer nails, no issue, but i was anxious that I might get scolded or punished. Then, someone said don't worry, use your teeth. I tried but found it disgusting and used my nails to remove the nails.
      Years later, i moved on to other parts. I stopped bitting nails quite early. I would pick the skin of fingers, then nails, and sometimes the insides of my lips with teeth. It usually happens when I study, although I was always top of my class/school. There would be days when I would totally forget about it. I found a way to get over it. I brush my teeth or just rinse my mouth after eating a meal. I wash my hands quite often. That relaxes me.

  • @luizinfanti
    @luizinfanti 3 роки тому +2334

    I suffer from this. It feels like I’m in a trance and even though it hurts, it’s irresistible. Thank you for touching this subject.

    • @campkira
      @campkira 3 роки тому +9

      it part of self groming...

    • @bradleymcdonald6273
      @bradleymcdonald6273 3 роки тому +24

      @@campkira I don't think mine is self grooming... My fingers are MUNTED mate

    • @kimora69
      @kimora69 3 роки тому

      😫

    • @kathr3477
      @kathr3477 3 роки тому +94

      "Trance" is such a good word for it. I never find it fun or pleasurable, but it's completely irresistible

    • @esthersheldrick7550
      @esthersheldrick7550 3 роки тому +24

      I feel exactly the same way when I do it. I used to do it for hours completely unaware of the time passing. I have found that being busy all the time and not giving myself any time in which to do it has helped enormously still a struggle though x

  • @spoopypoods7485
    @spoopypoods7485 3 роки тому +3467

    you didn’t have to call me out like this

    • @balor2178
      @balor2178 3 роки тому +6

      Exactly.

    • @doelette7400
      @doelette7400 3 роки тому +60

      i clicked on the video while picking my skin...

    • @vaguebrownfox
      @vaguebrownfox 3 роки тому +17

      I got notification 3 minutes after I bit a layer of my lips off, tell me about it! typing this as I bleed.

    • @dawnzapata3279
      @dawnzapata3279 3 роки тому +9

      I swear this dude calls me out on the daily! 😂🤣😭😭

    • @Maperator
      @Maperator 3 роки тому +1

      you ok man?

  • @rorib154
    @rorib154 3 роки тому +2520

    me, clicking on this video: oh cool i hope this provides me with scientific arguments and rational insight on dermatillomania
    the video: no one has ever loved you

    • @marvel096
      @marvel096 3 роки тому +124

      for real, i had a good relationship with my parents and yet i do this with the skin near my nails, not very often though

    • @klaviergavin5401
      @klaviergavin5401 3 роки тому +34

      @@marvel096 well,,, not only parents have the ability to make u feel like crap.

    • @marvel096
      @marvel096 3 роки тому +43

      @@klaviergavin5401 sure but I haven’t suffered bullying either. I do feel lonely from time to time and I guess the main person who could me feel bad about myself is...well, me.

    • @marvel096
      @marvel096 3 роки тому +5

      @Mary Sue thank you sm for this 🥺❤️

    • @00Banger00
      @00Banger00 3 роки тому +61

      @@marvel096 I'm with you there. I'm a super happy person. I have a wonderful family, had a carefree upbringing where I was privileged and fulfilled, yet I bite my lips until they bleed. I've been doing this for as long as I can remember and now, as a woman in my thirties, I still do. I'm very extroverted, confident and secure (I think?). For me, it's the sensation of roughness I dislike. I feel, it, & I want it gone so I bite at the skin or pull it until it's gone. It's a never-ending cycle. Not trying to rub my existence in anyone's face, but I think this affliction goes much deeper than the self-loathing personality disorder they labelled this with.

  • @ScatteredFafa
    @ScatteredFafa 3 роки тому +1300

    Watching this while picking my skin more rapidly as the anxiety builds up due to being exposed.

    • @educostanzo
      @educostanzo 3 роки тому +8

      Exaaaactly!

    • @awesumlili
      @awesumlili 3 роки тому +6

      Absolutely exposed 😂

    • @eve9929
      @eve9929 3 роки тому +5

      Same! If it wasn't so frustrating it would be funny.

    • @regurei
      @regurei 3 роки тому +1

      YESSSSS

    • @karabelopadi1879
      @karabelopadi1879 3 роки тому +1

      FACTS!!!!!!!!!!

  • @shadybeashooketh1911
    @shadybeashooketh1911 3 роки тому +3706

    i know youtube's collecting my data but it's getting weird now

  • @averydonahue9934
    @averydonahue9934 3 роки тому +2824

    Me: hm why do I pick my skin?
    School of life: You are literally so alone

  • @mmm.mmm.mmm.
    @mmm.mmm.mmm. 3 роки тому +276

    Hello everyone who experiences this, I understand and I love you. Please be safe. You are so precious. Thank you for being here.

  • @kimzbaker
    @kimzbaker 3 роки тому +475

    I picked my skin for over thirty years since I was about thirteen. Mostly my lips and often till they bled badly but also other parts of my body. One of my parents used to humiliate me about it which probably made it worse. Over all these years, I desperately wanted to stop, and tried many different ways, but it was a compulsion and a kind of comfort. I couldn't stop no matter what I tried. For me, it was a repetitive cycle of trigger leading to anxiety (often not consciously aware of) leading to picking. It takes a lot of different approaches to stop that habitual cycle. What worked in the end was probably a combination of things:
    1 Is to know that it is possible to stop.
    2 Start writing a journal - about everything you're anxious about and what steps you could take about those things. Write about whatever is on your mind. Treat it like the kind parent you wish had listened to you as a child.
    3 When you realise you're picking, be kind to yourself. Try not to get annoyed or ashamed. Be understanding - this is how you have dealt with a lot of pain in your life.
    4 Put petroleum jelly on the areas you pick. It protects the skin, and makes it a little bit harder to start picking.
    5 Start meditating every day - just five or ten minutes to sit and notice what thoughts are coming into your mind or just focus on your breathing. It will help you to learn to focus on the present and not on your worries. You will learn how to calm yourself without turning to compulsive picking. It will also help you to become more aware of what triggers your need to pick.
    6 It is possible that you have ignored many of your natural desires in order to please other people and decrease your anxiety. While this works in the short term, over time it will only increase your anxiety as you move further and further from the person you really are. So maybe start paying attention to pleasing yourself for a while, and seeing if there are changes you need to make in order to be who you want to be.
    These are some of the things I found helpful. Take care x

    • @janedoe12885
      @janedoe12885 3 роки тому +9

      This is very helpful. Thank you so much.

    • @yosoyale7719
      @yosoyale7719 3 роки тому +5

      Thank you

    • @ericaknox2715
      @ericaknox2715 3 роки тому +4

      Thank you

    •  3 роки тому +5

      I do nearly all those things! They really helped me keep my picking under control as well.

    • @kathr3477
      @kathr3477 3 роки тому +3

      It's the lips for me too, it started when I was a teenager and now I've been doing it nearly every day for 10+ years. I've told doctors and they just say "try aquaphor". I had an ex who hated it and whenever he caught me would say "Stop picking. Just think of how dirty your hands are, maybe that will help discourage it." It feels like something I'll have for life now, it's a lot of hope to hear from someone who managed to stop.
      Anyone else who does their lips - they form sort of a callus/scab that's really frustrating and will start to peel. It becomes a circle of I pick at them so they peel, but they peel because I pick. Any help?

  • @bubby3007
    @bubby3007 3 роки тому +1825

    I think this is the video that I've felt the most seen/exposed.

  • @Ariettethe1st
    @Ariettethe1st 3 роки тому +1000

    All my lip pickers know that it’s not easy to stop that, it’s sooo comforting

    • @Hafum
      @Hafum 3 роки тому +26

      I pick my face, lips and fingers. Damn anxiety

    • @francescapreziuso3242
      @francescapreziuso3242 3 роки тому +15

      I used to bite a little part of my lips every single day a few months ago (the first lockdown in march/april) and the part got slightly harder and it was sooo satisfying to pick. I did it multiple times a day for I think about 3 months and it bled A LOT, I somehow stopped but now there's a little scar.

    • @forestamazzonica
      @forestamazzonica 3 роки тому +24

      Also my lips skin get sooo hard - there is no lip balm that can help them get soft... So there is no way to solve the problem other that peal completely my lips (which yes is sooo comforting!!!)

    • @melonqueen5138
      @melonqueen5138 3 роки тому +6

      I do it to help get rid of the dead skin even though sometimes it does bleed.

    • @Manvir.
      @Manvir. 3 роки тому

      @@francescapreziuso3242 same

  • @charlottekohnen2200
    @charlottekohnen2200 3 роки тому +164

    i pick my skin but i do it because i want everything to be even, so when i see a piece of skin that’s uneven i pick it

    • @Anne_Onymous
      @Anne_Onymous 3 роки тому +40

      Yep. My brain tells me that any piece of raised skin or scab sticking up MUST be picked and torn off.
      Sounds stupid but I didn't realize how much of an issue I had until I came across a vid like this months ago.

    • @JamieMckiernan1976
      @JamieMckiernan1976 3 роки тому +6

      It has OCD relatedness for many people, me included.

    • @donf4227
      @donf4227 2 роки тому +4

      Same here too. I think anxiety plays a part, but it's more about my cuticles being uneven or imperfect.

    • @miayeung4541
      @miayeung4541 Рік тому

      Agree!

    • @havilahunction386
      @havilahunction386 Рік тому

      @@JamieMckiernan1976 Same here, I only noticed this recently. Mine is mostly cuticle picking one toes and finger nails

  • @torunami
    @torunami 3 роки тому +457

    "the introvert's disease" 😭 thank you for helping me understand myself

    • @Mari-qg5nk
      @Mari-qg5nk 3 роки тому +2

      You ain't lying bruh... this dude described me down to the T 😅🤭

    • @ladyjusticesusan
      @ladyjusticesusan 6 місяців тому +2

      When I heard that I felt so seen.

  • @madi27111
    @madi27111 3 роки тому +843

    I've been doing this since I was a little girl. My fingers bleed almost every day.
    This is a behaviour seen in animals too, like a bird that doesn't have enough enrichment will pluck out its own feathers.
    It's associated with grooming, which the brain finds relaxing and distracting... only the brain often doesn't know when to stop.

    • @yosoyale7719
      @yosoyale7719 3 роки тому +41

      Very interesting. I do feel it is more about (rough) grooming than self-harm.

    • @allisonhemmings9290
      @allisonhemmings9290 3 роки тому +29

      I do it too and I’ve been doing it since I was small. I didn’t know anyone else did it. When one finger bleeds I move onto the next one. I’ve been ashamed of doing it for as long as long as I can remember.

    • @journeyoflovelightawakening369
      @journeyoflovelightawakening369 3 роки тому +4

      Me too... never ending 🙃🙄

    • @sunshinegirl2208
      @sunshinegirl2208 3 роки тому +2

      Me too 😢.

    • @uncleacid6973
      @uncleacid6973 3 роки тому

      Are you a little?

  • @ennante3502
    @ennante3502 3 роки тому +482

    I tear my skin off my feet. When my therapist asked me why I do this, I told her that the physical pain is much better than emotional one. I cried while watching this video, I didn't know it has a name or that so many people do that. I sometimes damage my feet so much I can barely stand on them. I know it is self hatred but still, damn, it is satysfying...

    • @Emily-gl7cv
      @Emily-gl7cv 3 роки тому +20

      me too, I tear my skin off my feet with a nail clipper, and I do this every day for about an hour. I don't consider myself as a very depressed or anxious person, but I just feel the urge to tear them away, sometimes I feel like there's an indescribable itch or little pain beneath my skin that I have to tear it away to get to that point, and it gives me relief until I see blood or feel pain. I've been doing this for a long time since childhood and the situation's worsened since corona... so much that I don't feel the pain easily now

    • @MeredithPlease
      @MeredithPlease 3 роки тому +28

      I did that same thing for many many years. I even played on a national youth sports team. I would pick and strip the skin off my feet to the point of bleeding and extreme pain. It would hurt to walk, my socks would have blood when I took off my shoes or cleats. I would get lost in it, finally snapping out of it once it went too far and saw the pile of skin under my foot. I never self-harmed with tools, just my own fingers. When I was living with a roommate in uni, she noticed and called me out one day. I was lost in picking my heel as we watched a movie together. I didn't even realize I was doing it in front of them. I stopped cold turkey out of embarrassment, no one ever knew. My roommate didn't know it was anxious picking and just thought I had taken a blister too far. Around that time I grew out of it perhaps, but I started trying to keep my feet smooth and hydrated making it hard to start lifting the skin again. Around age 25 I started to take back my life and realized that my middle-class upbringing, though privileged, was toxic and abusive. My family, my past didn't have a right to take over my happiness and that I had to stop damaging myself. I still struggle with anxiety and self-loathing I suppose. It's been nearly 7 years since I last picked, I completely understand what its like to be in the thick of it, I still remember the feeling a satisfaction it gave - but know you CAN stop, and its going to be ok when you do. I try to make my self-care now more appealing than the latter.

    • @rustyrose8501
      @rustyrose8501 3 роки тому +19

      I cried as well. I don’t pick my feet, but my scalp and lips. I never realized it was a form of self hatred. Now that I have a better understanding, can I stop?

    • @MeredithPlease
      @MeredithPlease 3 роки тому +23

      @@rustyrose8501 You can stop. I was able to do it one day almost like out of nowhere. I kept telling myself nope "we" don't do this anymore. There is hope for sure!

    • @JohnDKParker
      @JohnDKParker 3 роки тому +8

      I did this a lot as a teenager - my toes and heels would bleed and be so tender it'd be hard to walk to most days. I never knew there was a name for this and why I did it. Even today I gnaw and pick at my fingertips and knuckles compulsively.

  • @MackerelCat
    @MackerelCat 3 роки тому +368

    Yes cried a little bit, had this for years and never admitted to anyone.

    • @allisonhemmings9290
      @allisonhemmings9290 3 роки тому +17

      Yes I felt teary when I saw the replies, I thought it was just me x

    • @esta7428
      @esta7428 3 роки тому +5

      Same - When I say years I think as long as I can remember, it made me realise just how hurt I am inside :))))))))

    • @catwoman7102
      @catwoman7102 3 роки тому +6

      Same... this started when I was 10. I was ashamed to tell anyone.

    • @shahadkhiled4154
      @shahadkhiled4154 3 роки тому +5

      I cried to for myself .

    • @daisygirl1217
      @daisygirl1217 3 роки тому +5

      I cried too. It was somewhat of relief though to hear someone take my pain that I suffer from and put it into words for me. It struck me hard.

  • @nikolinasimic621
    @nikolinasimic621 3 роки тому +529

    Wait, so your tell me that there are people who DONT pick their skin till they bleed 🩸

    • @glennbrown3426
      @glennbrown3426 3 роки тому +12

      LOLOLOLO 👌 It's nice to know that we are not alone.

    • @shikharpriyadarshi3537
      @shikharpriyadarshi3537 3 роки тому +1

      Have you found ways of reducing or stopping it? I too have been doing it.

    • @nikolinasimic621
      @nikolinasimic621 3 роки тому +1

      @@shikharpriyadarshi3537 No not really, I mean once it starts to bleed and I put a bandaid 🩹 on it, it acts like a barrier. But you can’t be wearing ten bandaids on all your fingers, now can you?! I don’t know what else I can do.

    • @lordgrimixb
      @lordgrimixb 2 роки тому +1

      @@shikharpriyadarshi3537 I distract myself with something like playing with a fidget toy. It does help reduce it but whenever I don't have it with me I can't stop picking.

    • @cleonelson284
      @cleonelson284 2 роки тому +2

      ​@@shikharpriyadarshi3537 since this was a year ago, I don't know if this is still helpful but things that help me are: putting things on my fingers like tape or band aids or gloves, cutting my nails short and like manicuring them so i feel the need to not mess up the nail polish, and THE MOST HELPFUL ONE: wearing a bracelet with loose thread ends that i can play with instead.​ hope this helps :)

  • @the4thwall528
    @the4thwall528 3 роки тому +749

    UA-cam's getting quite confident with their 2 unskippable ads

  • @benh3110
    @benh3110 3 роки тому +116

    Very happy that dermatillomania is getting more well known, the notification for this vt gave me warm fuzzies

  • @panzy7871
    @panzy7871 3 роки тому +545

    bruh my childhood was fine, why did i end up like this

    • @bugivintage
      @bugivintage 3 роки тому +11

      Story of my life

    • @rebeccatowner6700
      @rebeccatowner6700 3 роки тому +107

      Was it though? I'm not saying that to be condescending. Just that, for years I said the same about myself. It wasn't until my kids grew up and pointed out that my parents, their grandparents, were not such nice people. When I told them stuff about myself growing up, they were visibly horrified. I'd just thought it was cuz things were different in the 70s. Just cuz parents didn't physically or sexually abuse you, doesn't mean they weren't abusive.

    • @josiieize2.051
      @josiieize2.051 3 роки тому +1

      i know i'm the same

    • @iboica8
      @iboica8 3 роки тому +2

      Hormones

    • @6maria94
      @6maria94 3 роки тому +21

      I know I will sound like a boomer, but I swear I'm a millenial: Social Media and Devices really screws us up more than what we think they do. The light from the screen and messages release hormones in us that aren't that good. They aren't the only cause. But those hormones will leave us more sensitive to other matters.
      And if you obviously have family or health problems, the main cause won't be devices. I'm saying why some people with normal lives are still struggling with anxiety

  • @Blackbird145
    @Blackbird145 3 роки тому +19

    This video was so humanising and validating. It started three years ago, I would do it to soothe myself or put all my attention into picking at 'imperfections' because I had no control over the things going wrong in my real life. I am very insecure about my skin, not only do I think it looks ugly but I feel like it exposes my psychological problems - it's redness, scabs and scars reflect my grisly agitated anxiety disorder; my self-hatred. But, after watching this video, and reading comments from other people who suffer from this disorder, makes me feel less alone. I feel like less of a monster, both on the surface and inside my head. I start to feel a bit of compassion for myself.

  • @schaaraah
    @schaaraah 3 роки тому +328

    I can’t believe I have just been called out like this, lmao. For as long as I can remember, I have been biting my nails, picked my skin until it was bleeding, and squeezed my pimples (even when they were almost invisible and not yet ready to be squeezed) until my whole face turns fire-red. The thing is that I know I shouldn’t do it but there simply seems no way for me to resist. I feel really guilty afterwards, sometimes I even start blaming myself for not having been strong enough to resist the urge. It’s really a vicious circle.

    • @Gabi-jy8ih
      @Gabi-jy8ih 3 роки тому +7

      Im exactly the same

    • @allisonhemmings9290
      @allisonhemmings9290 3 роки тому +11

      Me too, we must forgive ourselves ❤️

    • @laurelli22
      @laurelli22 3 роки тому +7

      I did that so much I scared my face up

    • @oeknnd
      @oeknnd 3 роки тому

      I totally agree with you. I want to stop doing all those things specially stop biting my nails but i just can't and its hard.

    • @wrightup
      @wrightup 3 роки тому +2

      I know the feeling - you just can't stop once you've started

  • @StrictFocus
    @StrictFocus 3 роки тому +541

    I don’t know man, I had an amazing childhood, a loving girlfriend, great friends. I just pick my fingers when I’m nervous. Not sure it’s exclusively due to emotional trauma. I think it’s just habitual, sub-conscious self soothing.

    • @toni2309
      @toni2309 3 роки тому +69

      I think it can be a form of fidgeting/stimming also. They seemed to talk more about this like compulsive need to perfect your skin?

    • @moxiemaxie3543
      @moxiemaxie3543 3 роки тому +36

      He mentioned anxiety in the video. He said its a natural coping skill many naturally gravitate too

    • @MaryJane-ug3eu
      @MaryJane-ug3eu 3 роки тому +41

      I think that theres different levels and reasons, but maybe for the severe condition this is what it is. Cause i mean i think lots of people pick, maybe its also a part of human nature, like when you're little and you pick a scab , or even being older and just having a hard piece of skin on your finger that seems to snag on everything, or the satisfaction of being like "get outta here pimple!" But when youre hurting yourself thats when it crosses the line into this sort of territory. But i mean truly i think everyone picks to an extent, some very little and some more severe.

    • @moxiemaxie3543
      @moxiemaxie3543 3 роки тому +5

      @@MaryJane-ug3eu the extreme level of picking skin is gravitate to sef harm. Picking may cause bleeding and toleration I used to pick , cut my skin and mess with the scabs. Im in my late 20s and still pick at my face, scrap off my bottom feet and bite the tip off my finger skin.

    • @thenestingpigeon6438
      @thenestingpigeon6438 3 роки тому +7

      I was thinking the same thing. I definitely had a crummy childhood like they describe but my son is 6yrs and picks his nails and cuticles like crazy and has had a great childhood other then this pandemic stuff. I breastfed, snuggled, spoke about emotions, stay at home mom, no abuse emotional or otherwise. I think part of it is a learned behavior along with anxious uncertainty from the pandemic schedule changes.

  • @jjmack6563
    @jjmack6563 3 роки тому +28

    I had no idea this was a condition. I have been doing this for years. It makes total sense to me now as I was abused and neglected as a child

  • @mariaostgren7237
    @mariaostgren7237 3 роки тому +69

    "Learn to leave our innocent bleeding body in peace"

  • @thebacteriawasbeatentodeath
    @thebacteriawasbeatentodeath 3 роки тому +337

    As someone who's been picking at their skin for over 3 years and has scars and scabs all over their face, back, legs, chest, arms, and shoulders, I definitely found this video helpful :) I would always get in trouble for picking at myself and yet I couldn't stop doing it, and I didn't exactly know why until now. UA-cam knows me way too well lol
    Edit: I didn't realize how little time 3 years was until I read about some of the people who replied to this :0 No matter how long you've been picking your skin - whether it's from 1 month to over 50 years - I wish you well and hope you're successful in stopping!
    Another update: I'm currently wearing skintight gloves so I can't pick but I can still type, use phones, and do other everyday things in them. I'm not allowed to take them off unless I'm eating with my hands or using the restroom (I wear them to sleep too) and it keeps me from picking. Not sure if anyone else here has tried this or may find this helpful, but I'm just putting it out there. The only bad thing is that my nails make holes in the gloves eventually from me trying to pick, so I need to keep sewing them up again. I think it's worth it, though

    • @reedsylvier5250
      @reedsylvier5250 3 роки тому +1

      Unrelated but who is your thumbnail they look cute

    • @thebacteriawasbeatentodeath
      @thebacteriawasbeatentodeath 3 роки тому +2

      @@reedsylvier5250 wait do u mean my pfp? He's kokichi ouma from the Japanese video game Danganronpa V3 :3 hehe rat boi go brrrr

    • @toni2309
      @toni2309 3 роки тому +7

      I would also always get in trouble but couldn't stop. I'm neurodivergent though. I wouldn't stop even if I'm not worried because it's a form of stimming for me I need to regulate over- or understimulation. Good thing there are ways to stim that don't leave scars.

    • @goodguy...badrep.
      @goodguy...badrep. 3 роки тому +2

      Pfp= profile picture? Interesting.

    • @thebacteriawasbeatentodeath
      @thebacteriawasbeatentodeath 3 роки тому

      @@goodguy...badrep. That's one of the few typing abbreviations I know - and it took me a year to figure it out lmao
      definitely not like I coulda used google or something

  • @meghnabhadra
    @meghnabhadra 3 роки тому +99

    School of Life has been kinder to my compulsiveness than most people I know.. haha

  • @Livster1234568
    @Livster1234568 3 роки тому +82

    It’s very comforting seeing all these comments and knowing that I’m not alone on this. I’ve had skin picking problems since elementary. I have scars on my toes, heels, legs, private areas, face, chest, shoulders/arms. The worst damage has been done, and unfortunately is still being done on my lips. The longest I’ve gone without picking my lips in recent time is maybe 3 days, but only because I know the skin will be loose enough to rip off again. I’m extremely embarrassed of it and sometimes want to stay away from my boyfriend because of how bad it looks and feel bad that he has to kiss me looking the way I do. I’ve gotten better at not doing it in public, but the worst is late at night when my hands are covered in blood and after washing them theres still blood stuck under my nails. I know I shouldn’t be doing it, but it’s so relaxing to me. A few times every week ill find old bloody tissues laying around my room. Sometimes I pick the skin so raw that just a draft or moving of my lips will cause searing pain. Often times I get into such an aggressive ripping that I don’t notice blood is running down my chin. I’ve become good at helping it heal afterwards thought by keeping my lips lathered in carmex non stop, but when I’m anxious, which is a lot these days, or fidgety I go straight for my lips. Gloves don’t help, or filing my nails down to a nub, or the rubber band wrist snapping. I don’t know how or if I’ll ever be able to completely stop.

    • @jaytea4390
      @jaytea4390 3 роки тому +3

      please try and get help. You're not alone, and you are very much loved. How about talking about it with your boyfriend? Praying for you and I wish you all the best

    • @anastasiiafiliboichenko4743
      @anastasiiafiliboichenko4743 2 роки тому +1

      You are not alone, be sure about that. Many people suffering from skin-picking, I am also among them

    • @ashleytaylorfredrickson487
      @ashleytaylorfredrickson487 2 роки тому +1

      🤗Yes Hun your not alone!😊 I also suffer from Dermatillomainia (Skin Picking) & Trickatillomania (Hair Pulling). I've been doing both of these since I was a child. Its always been triggered by my anxiety. I used it as a coping mechanism & as a self soothing exercise it was the only way I could relax/sooth myself but now that I have LOVE❤ in my life its a lot better! Im still learning 2Love myself but Its a struggle! I also struggle with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. 🤓Educating myself about these topics has helped me a lot & finding Therapy & coping skills that works 4 me! Your all in my thoughts & Prayers! Please don't loose hope & if u ever need 2talk Im here!🤗

    • @annepercivalle7324
      @annepercivalle7324 2 роки тому +1

      @@ashleytaylorfredrickson487 I've always picked at my arms, at pimples that weren't even fully formed yet until I would bleed. I never really questioned myself until now, I just thought it was a bad habit. My mom would get mad at me and take away my stuff, which was understandable because I'm literally tearing and picking at my arms. But yet, I would still do it, knowing full well I'd get in trouble for it. It got to the point were my mom said to put lotion on my arms everyday to prevent me from getting a good grip. But it didn't work, instead of just extreme pick marks, I had scratches and cuts from my nails trying to get grips on my arms. These moments have lasted over an hour before. First I would just go to the bathroom to go to the bathroom, but then I just wouldn't go out. I would stare at my arms, and before I even registered what did, they would both be red and bleeding. Now, it doesn't sound normal to me spelling it out like this...

  • @13hehe
    @13hehe 3 роки тому +48

    Seeing all the comments here made me realize I'm not alone in this, and somehow that is of a little consolation at least...

    • @shikharpriyadarshi3537
      @shikharpriyadarshi3537 3 роки тому

      Have you found ways of reducing or stopping it? I too have been doing it.

  • @asmitharamesh1766
    @asmitharamesh1766 3 роки тому +178

    The first time I realized this was a mental issue, I had a bit of a closure and felt like I can control my choices. But that hasn't really helped me completely gain control over this issue. It has although helped me stop it whenever I can. I've had and still have acne for the last 10 years. Lately my acne has reduced and I'm now all I'm seeing is the huge irretrievable damage I've done to my face. It is difficult to love with it but I am trying my best in everyway I can. Thank you so much for this video. I have never felt more understood. I wish I could someday find the right help I can and live a healthy normal life.

    • @vtheb1299
      @vtheb1299 3 роки тому +6

      I think forgiveness is the first step. You have to forgive your past self... just as we gave to forgive our parents...

    • @kagitsune
      @kagitsune 3 роки тому +5

      Similar story here. My acne was terrible and I still have scars. But learning about effective skincare helped my skin heal and stay balanced. I still have a lot of trouble with pulling my own hair, though. v_v

    • @gavingonzalez7174
      @gavingonzalez7174 3 роки тому +3

      Yeah, I’ve been doing this for as long as I can remember, but I didn’t realize how many people did it

    • @tigresmom5654
      @tigresmom5654 3 роки тому +2

      I know, I thought it was just a nervous habit.

    • @gavingonzalez7174
      @gavingonzalez7174 3 роки тому +2

      @@tigresmom5654 yeah, let alone a whole disorder😂

  • @lydiahunterdurham7588
    @lydiahunterdurham7588 3 роки тому +117

    I do this all the time to the skin around my thumbs, I didn’t realise it had a name until now - thanks School of Life for making me aware of something that I do subconsciously

    • @lerooock
      @lerooock 3 роки тому +1

      Same. But to my face too

    • @aquarius198
      @aquarius198 3 роки тому +4

      Finger/nails is not that much a sign of deep lying mental issues like cutting up normal healthy skin but it is rather a short term stress related manicure

    • @tracik1277
      @tracik1277 3 роки тому +2

      I know this is gross to admit, but I just really like to eat the skin around my nails. There’s been times I’ve wanted to eat the skin on other people’s nails as well. So is it about anxiety or food preferences?

    • @tammy99628
      @tammy99628 3 роки тому +1

      Me too ! We're thumbies, lol

    • @tammy99628
      @tammy99628 3 роки тому +1

      @@aquarius198 "short term stress manicure". I'm d e d

  • @mrscrofford
    @mrscrofford 3 роки тому +333

    Wearing false nails is only way to stop me from picking my cuticles raw.

    • @HCF29
      @HCF29 3 роки тому +16

      Same! It’s weird, I don’t know why I don’t do it when I have acrylics?! I had them off since the last lockdown in UK and my fingers are fucked

    • @bella3567
      @bella3567 3 роки тому +9

      @@HCF29 i buy fake nails every 6 months so i can paint them every week and glue them on it’s a cheap alternative to acrylics

    • @mrscrofford
      @mrscrofford 3 роки тому +10

      @@HCF29 probably because you can’t grip the skin with acrylic nails as they aren’t sharp enough. That’s the reason for me.

    • @thecutbeautii3399
      @thecutbeautii3399 3 роки тому +6

      FACTS! My acrylics have saved my fingers.

    • @thekarmendanielle
      @thekarmendanielle 3 роки тому +2

      SAME!!!!

  • @greensslime
    @greensslime 3 роки тому +54

    Lol me and a friend were talking about me picking skin and now it's recommend ,I think youtube is listening to my conversations

    • @jayantipatra6247
      @jayantipatra6247 3 роки тому +2

      It is

    • @fettywapofficial
      @fettywapofficial 3 роки тому +2

      just happened to me too LOL

    • @Petdub
      @Petdub 3 роки тому

      Same. I was just talking about this to my dentist lmaoo

    • @sarahcauer88
      @sarahcauer88 3 роки тому +1

      I was never talking about this and now its recommended... UA-cam is watching me pickin my lips...

    • @greensslime
      @greensslime 3 роки тому

      @@sarahcauer88 Mamma mia!!!

  • @thehomieteez
    @thehomieteez 3 роки тому +704

    You should see my fingernails. Definitely dermawhatwhat

    • @juggs9437
      @juggs9437 3 роки тому +13

      My ringfinger nail is half of what it should be

    • @jasper6164
      @jasper6164 3 роки тому +4

      LMFAO same

    • @reedsylvier5250
      @reedsylvier5250 3 роки тому +4

      I got a fungal nail infection years ago because of it woops

    • @jenniferalexander5423
      @jenniferalexander5423 3 роки тому +4

      Had the clippers out when this popped up in my feed.

    • @ian3166
      @ian3166 3 роки тому +2

      Happy to quit biting my toes, grossed myself out enough I guess, but my fingers are still too accessable. A few weeks ago I decided to just see how far will power would get me. I got a few days before all of them eventually were messed up again. Kinda dumb that I haven't tried again after clearly showing I could do it. If anyone wants some tips for starting get a nice nail care kit, a few clippers, but most importantly, A FILE! You will probably find yourself going for sharper imperfections, the file will fix those.

  • @malena.p
    @malena.p 3 роки тому +34

    I really feel this video, my therapist said that skin picking is also self-harm and I've never thought how true it is

    • @jhanes3791
      @jhanes3791 3 роки тому +5

      I was going to say the same thing. A minor version of cutting.

    • @OhWangJing
      @OhWangJing 3 роки тому

      Wow 😮

  • @petlover72704
    @petlover72704 3 роки тому +28

    I suffer from this. It's absolutely compulsive. In my head I'm screaming to stop yet it's beyond hard to. Thank you for making me feel understood.

  • @Sun_and_Sea_
    @Sun_and_Sea_ 3 роки тому +11

    I’ve been to so many dermatologists and psychologists who are like “what’s dermatillomania?” Thank you for making this video.

  • @Panos__P
    @Panos__P 3 роки тому +91

    Sometimes it is not the love that we lost that might urges to endulge in self-skin-picking; but the love or the aspirations we deem for the future and the fear with it. I don't think everything has to do with the past, but more with the self at the moment. Nonetherless, very nice video and the graphics are always in point! 🙂

    • @kristianjensen5877
      @kristianjensen5877 3 роки тому +9

      Myeah, I think you are right - at least the causes seem to be more complicated and numerous than simply past trauma and anxiety.
      Personally, I unfortunately have a tendency to pick my fingers absentmindedly when I'm alone and not really doing anything with my hands, but I don't think it's to soothe a specific anxiety - at least I rarely feel anxious before or while I do it.
      It's more like an activity to fill in a lack of activity so to speak.
      For example, if I'm watching a movie alone or binging UA-cam videos, it just kind of happens for some reason unless I consciously decide to fold my hands or fidget with something else like a pen, scewdriver or other thing keeping my fingers busy.
      Alternatively, I'll fidget with my legs, thumping my heels lightly or swaying them from side to side like there's some kind of pent up energy, which needs to be released physically somehow.
      I'm not ruling out that these behaviors might be rooted in some unconscious anxieties though - they just manifest regardless of whether I'm content or not with my current state of life.
      In this light, the explanation as to why they occur seem to be more complex than that these OCD-like behaviors are simply soothing mechanisms.

    • @LuckeGabriel
      @LuckeGabriel 3 роки тому +2

      @@kristianjensen5877
      'Alternatively, I'll fidget with my legs, thumping my heels lightly or swaying them from side to side like there's some kind of pent up energy, which needs to be released physically somehow.'
      THIS IS WHAT I'M DOING NOW HAHA

    • @tammy99628
      @tammy99628 3 роки тому +3

      This is very relatable ❤ not the lack of love, but anxiety for the future

    • @shafaghghose1456
      @shafaghghose1456 3 роки тому

      If you got the appropriate amount of love and affection in your childhood, your soul would feel safe all the time and you would not even worry for a second about your future love life, because you are already well nurtured since beginning of your life and that's more or less the mindset you gonna have for most of your mate... that's the cruel truth of human nature...

    • @AznGotChen
      @AznGotChen 3 роки тому

      The thing is studies show if you felt loved and safe as a kid, you won't be as fearful or anxious of the future. The two is inextricably tied together. The only way to not be fearful of the future is to work through the past while in the present.

  • @maychefdecuisine2284
    @maychefdecuisine2284 3 роки тому +63

    I've bought myself some sensory toys to help with my skin picking. When I catch myself picking, I put both my hands up in acknowledgement that I am stopping the behavior, and pick up a squishy ball or slinky instead. It's helping.

    • @mish2773
      @mish2773 3 роки тому +2

      Yes! Super helpful to have something like that. I don’t often wear rings so on bad days I’ll put one on and notice the ring and notice what I’m doing

    • @maychefdecuisine2284
      @maychefdecuisine2284 3 роки тому +1

      @@mish2773 Great idea!

    • @mish2773
      @mish2773 3 роки тому

      @@maychefdecuisine2284 💫😁

    • @beejoy7076
      @beejoy7076 3 роки тому +5

      This is how I stopped self harming after 9 years- took it too far and ended up in a and e, but every time I had the urge to do something I’d dance like a jellyfish and shake it off. Been a year since I stopped:)

    • @annaphelan635
      @annaphelan635 3 роки тому

      I need to start doing this, thank you.

  • @julianboryszewski4823
    @julianboryszewski4823 3 роки тому +9

    I've struggled with this addiction/nervous habit for almost 15 years. This means so much to me and is so helpful. Thank you for making this

  • @nekoneko644
    @nekoneko644 3 роки тому +188

    This is me with my scalp :( I feel awful about it and it makes me embarrassed to go to the salon bc I don't want anyone to see the damage I've done.

    • @mariahfigueroa9163
      @mariahfigueroa9163 3 роки тому +28

      OMGGG ME TOO I THOUGHT I WAS ALONE!!

    • @hypnosesgodchild
      @hypnosesgodchild 3 роки тому +16

      same, with my scalp, nails, skin n lips.... tho its a bit milder...
      i pick my skin/scalp etc consciously (like i usually intentionally do it),
      ive tried this thing where whenever i start picking i tell myself to stop n it rly helped, everytime i start picking i stop asap, n its getting better... hope this helps
      also sometimes its hard to resist/addictive but i just keep telling myself to not do it and try not to let my impulsive self take over, i just think logically n ask myself: y u doing this?? whats the point?? like i know it feels good at the time but other than that theres rly no point in doing this youre just damaging ur skin/scalp,
      the main thing to help stop it is to be aware of what ur doing w/ur hands, whenever u start picking tell urself to stop

    • @nekoneko644
      @nekoneko644 3 роки тому +2

      @@hypnosesgodchild That's a good point. I like the idea of using a fidget toy to distract my hands.

    • @eve9929
      @eve9929 3 роки тому +15

      Same. I've been doing for over 10 years and I worry constantly about permanent hair loss. I have to have bangs so that people 1) don't see the scabs on my hairline 2) because I'm pretty sure my hair line has receded and I feel like my forehead looks too big now. I wish we could stop, I never even notice when I do it anymore but I'll do it for hours on end while watching tv, reading, etc.

    • @elenazlokic2668
      @elenazlokic2668 3 роки тому +3

      Glad to know I'm not alone :/

  • @nii_yuhh
    @nii_yuhh 3 роки тому +162

    OH MY GOD. THAT'S TOTALLY ME. I even peel off my lip skin, toe skin, feet skin and pretty much any skin that CAN be picked. It's scary, I can't even control it, when it happens. I love my body, I hope now that I know what this is, I can actively work on myself to heal
    P.s All of you too, take care❤️

    • @lerooock
      @lerooock 3 роки тому

      Me too

    • @Ojuolape
      @Ojuolape 3 роки тому +1

      Super guilty for the lip one.

    • @Bustermike86
      @Bustermike86 3 роки тому +1

      But only the dry part right?

    • @user-di3ng2bq8z
      @user-di3ng2bq8z 3 роки тому +1

      Same here

    • @silassilvanus5797
      @silassilvanus5797 3 роки тому +1

      I've been doing this all my life, it has become an automatism.
      I am only worried not to get any form of lip cancer which i understood is totally possible.
      Glad to know i'm not alone.

  • @ceceliakittyface5301
    @ceceliakittyface5301 3 роки тому +59

    As someone who is diagnosed with this and has suffered with it for about 8 years now, thank you for educating others on it. It isn’t talked about enough. Being called disgusting for something that is difficult for me to control absolutely sucks. I hope one day people will understand.

  • @Anna-fl9lr
    @Anna-fl9lr 3 роки тому +5

    I literally tried to research this topic for MONTHS without any luck because I suffer from this. There really is not much out there about this. Thank you so much for helping me finally make more sense of my issue.

  • @amypieterse4127
    @amypieterse4127 3 роки тому +31

    Me: sees piece of skin that needs picking on my fingers. Starts picking.

  • @LadyVader33
    @LadyVader33 3 роки тому +33

    I placed an entire ocean between myself and my toxic family. Now it's limited to just my thumbs, so slowly it's fading

  • @helnkellrfresh2deaf
    @helnkellrfresh2deaf 3 роки тому +738

    The imagery is cursed
    Also, I'm in this and I don't like it

    • @campkira
      @campkira 3 роки тому

      it part of self groming.. only way to surived...

    • @naiknaik8812
      @naiknaik8812 3 роки тому

      @@campkira what

  • @tigresmom5654
    @tigresmom5654 3 роки тому +21

    Wait, there's a name for what I do?? Wow. I've always felt like the only one who walks around with wounds on her fingers all the time from picking or biting the skin around her nails.

  • @DansLikeaRockstar
    @DansLikeaRockstar 3 роки тому +26

    Original title: why we pick our skin
    Automatic UA-cam translation: Why we choose our skin.

  • @TheBabyCake199
    @TheBabyCake199 3 роки тому +23

    One thing I notice is that even though I pick at my skin, I can't bear to see others doing the same, especially if it leads to results that are as severe or more severe than mine. I clicked on this video because I deal with skin picking but I was not able to finish it because of the triggering depictions of how it can manifest in other people.

    • @100000000000000000CD
      @100000000000000000CD 3 роки тому

      Maybe you could listen to the audio without the visuals if need be? Or do your own research? I know what you mean

    • @TheBabyCake199
      @TheBabyCake199 3 роки тому +1

      @@100000000000000000CD I don't really need the extra info, I was just interested in the perspective SOL presents but thought it could possibly be useful to someone to know that the imagery is very graphic. Thanks though.

  • @youngamericanreacts4546
    @youngamericanreacts4546 2 роки тому +1

    I’ve but my fingers and lips all my life and I went to work at a camp for 2 months. The people were the nicest and most loving people I have ever had in my environment. Lifting me up, making me feel wanted/needed. I stopped biting almost instantly. I then returned and it’s been back ever since. This is really hitting home for me.

  • @tomasmanikis1355
    @tomasmanikis1355 Рік тому +5

    didn't really know this was a thing. The more you talked, the more I continued to bite the skin out of my lips and fingers. its so satisfying and calming...

  • @darkhoodchief
    @darkhoodchief 3 роки тому +396

    Hey there!
    Just you know,
    You're not alone
    We're all miserable here.

    • @Toni-eq4on
      @Toni-eq4on 3 роки тому

      Ye you aee not my buddy i hope you ave a good day

    • @jul2447
      @jul2447 3 роки тому +6

      😭😂 This is unexpected but it definitely made my day

    • @AninditaaD
      @AninditaaD 3 роки тому +2

      > Hugs

    • @ryantreptow6414
      @ryantreptow6414 3 роки тому

      Thank you

    • @rainuhface09
      @rainuhface09 3 роки тому

      Lmao. Get some figits and we will make it through

  • @MorwenAncalime
    @MorwenAncalime 3 роки тому +69

    I used to pick at my fingers and scratch my scalp until it bled. Now I pick at my inverse psoriasis, which possibly feels more "safe" because it's in a hidden area. I hate doing it but it's definitely a compulsion.
    I've always been an introvert with anxiety but I had a very loving childhood for the most part so we're not sure where my anxiety comes from.

    • @sparklemachinee
      @sparklemachinee 3 роки тому +8

      i also never thought of my childhood as being difficult until I saw an analyst. it’s a commitment but a truly enlightening experience i would recommend to anyone. i pick my eye lashes, eyebrows, and fingernails and hope i can get rid of this by accepting myelf and my past. good luck to you!

    • @_giraffed
      @_giraffed 3 роки тому +1

      i do the exact same thing with the scalp, lips, back anywhere really... but the scalp is definitely the worst/most satisfying, painful and obvious, it has gotten way worse in the past couple of months and i can't stop.. everyone around me notices it as well which makes me feel even worse

    • @MorwenAncalime
      @MorwenAncalime 3 роки тому +1

      @@sparklemachinee Yeah, after posting my comment, I realized there are probably some factors that made my anxiety worse (or at least didn't combine well with a highly sensitive/empathic disposition). I've tried some counseling before but was never asked about my childhood. Maybe I'll try it some day. Self-acceptance is a long and difficult journey, so please be kind to yourself along the way :) Good luck to you too!!

    • @MorwenAncalime
      @MorwenAncalime 3 роки тому +2

      @@_giraffed I think 2020 has exacerbated mental health struggles for many many people; it's certainly affected me and you're definitely not alone! Have you tried an extra-strength anti-flaking shampoo? I use Head and Shoulders for seborrheic dermatitis (dark blue bottle) whenever stress makes my scalp ache/itch and it helps calm the skin, which in turn makes me want to scratch less. (Definitely not a doctor; your case may need a different solution but thought I'd suggest it anyway :) ) As far as the urge to scratch goes, in the past I've tried carrying around a worry stone in my pocket and rubbing or holding it whenever I want to scratch. That might help? I'm sorry that you feel judged by others; it's hard enough being judged by ourselves. Maybe you could try out some cute hats or head scarves and make a fashion statement :) Best of luck to you!! Please try your best to be kind to yourself :)

  • @George-ob3vh
    @George-ob3vh 2 роки тому +2

    This has actually made me emotional watching this. Thanks for touching this subject ive always wondered for so long why I picked my fingers

  • @tammtammti
    @tammtammti 3 роки тому +1

    Wow. It is the first time I learn that this has a name. I am doing this my whole life. I know it’s a bad habit, and a sign of anxiety. But I keep on doing it... sometimes there are better days, and I feel fine... but it always comes back. I usually do not cause severe damage, just a little bleeding at it’s worst, but it really shows me that I still have some work left with myself.

  • @seanpatrick7019
    @seanpatrick7019 3 роки тому +106

    Getting help is too expensive when you've hit the street.

    • @moodybassist
      @moodybassist 3 роки тому +5

      I know 💔

    • @SandraLovesRoses
      @SandraLovesRoses 3 роки тому +4

      Social workers and community support should exist for free. It does in England, especially for the homeless. But even people who aren't "hitting" the street or sleeping rough here in the States can't afford a therapist as it would be out of pocket after they were penalized $1K+ for not paying for medical insurance. Thanks Obama. It's a shit show here.

    • @kagitsune
      @kagitsune 3 роки тому +1

      @@SandraLovesRoses Yeah, the rollout was terrible. A good idea, but it was totally detoothed by making compromises to politicians and corporations.

    • @tracik1277
      @tracik1277 3 роки тому +1

      Sandra Actually that is far from true, there is no provision for mental health in the U.K. anymore apart from a) if your problem is very recent/minor/singular and specific (although you will still probably be on a waiting list between 6 to 18 months for 6 to 24 sessions of CBT only); b) you can afford to pay over £60 a session; c) if you are a danger to others (in which case you will be involuntarily sectioned and sedated). The facilities have been run down to nothing over the last 5 years or so, maybe longer. There is not enough funding, buildings to treat people in, or qualified practitioners in the public health sector. There is a new rule come in over the last couple of years that if you have EVER received mental health treatment on NHS you will never be eligible to receive anymore as long as you live.

  • @paigecopenhaver7667
    @paigecopenhaver7667 3 роки тому +12

    I've never seen such a big platform talking about this issue. Thank you so much for bringing awareness to skin picking. I have been a skin picker since I was about 5, and have gone to therapy for a while to try to help. Nothing really helps except if I wear gloves. It feels hopeless sometimes, but I am glad (and sad at the same time) to know I am not alone.

  • @VanillaButtercreamFrosting
    @VanillaButtercreamFrosting 3 роки тому +2

    I pick the skin around my fingernails and toenails. It’s been decades. I could not believe this title when I saw it! Reading all the comments is soothing, knowing I am not alone! I definitely do it more when anxiety is higher.

  • @puppy_playz5560
    @puppy_playz5560 2 роки тому +6

    I’m so upset, my mom always told me that nobody else does this and I never knew why I did this, and I knew something was wrong, and when I tried to show her the video she just said “no you just need to stop picking, people will call you a leopard”
    I never did know why I did it, I’ve never felt anxious or anything listed here, so for my CAUSE is a real mystery.
    I couldn’t stopped because I never knew when I did it since it just didn’t even hurt, but since school started back I e been able to stop because it keeps me occupied.

  • @toni2309
    @toni2309 3 роки тому +89

    "No one ends up picking their skin raw who had an early consistent experience of tenderness and attuned care"
    I'm pretty sure a lot of autistics/folks with bad sensory processing disorder who had good parents would disagree. Skin-picking can also be a form of stimming.

    • @IizUname
      @IizUname 3 роки тому +7

      It could even be trauma that occurred later, say, in adolescence. It could have been an act of support inappropriately done by a busy parent a total of about 5 times. That act of love could have been obsessively repeated and distorted as a way of maladaptinve self-soothing. It could have first begun on the wrist as a way of escaping a toxic individual and the sense that your home-away-from home was collapsing. It may have later been taken up in the absence of the guidance of a parental figure that was desperately needed in a time of increasing instability, despair, and isolation...as a means of destroying the imperfections that were in our control (even if it was futile and harmful anyway). Then depression sneaks in and makes it worse: "You'll never have clear skin, and it feels good, you may as well continue, you can't control yourself anyway."

    • @tracik1277
      @tracik1277 3 роки тому +1

      I do it because I like it (the skin). I used to bite my nails, then I stopped liking it so I stopped and peeled them instead because I hate having nails and having to deal with them. They feel ‘hot’ to me.

    • @xzonia1
      @xzonia1 3 роки тому +4

      Ah, that makes sense then. I watched this and thought, well, I pick at my skin daily so maybe there's something wrong with me. Thank you for pointing out it's just another sign I'm autistic!

    • @mediacenterman8583
      @mediacenterman8583 3 роки тому +1

      Yep. It is comforting as hell

    • @ChewFingers
      @ChewFingers 5 місяців тому

      Yeah, that was definitely a presumptuous statement. It also felt as if the problem was presented to be: Loneliness, and the solution, I guess, is just... to stop being lonely...?

  • @DarkwoodDub
    @DarkwoodDub 3 роки тому +32

    I never thought that I'd ever be able to find myself so much in a video....

  •  3 роки тому +4

    This video just described everything about my situation so perfectly. Got teary-eyed, but at least I get to somehow know myself more.

  • @josieemarie
    @josieemarie 3 роки тому +28

    “On occasion starts to bleed” what about all the time...?

  • @kimmiefonze7700
    @kimmiefonze7700 3 роки тому +33

    When I was younger, my mom, friends, and basically everybody in my life tells me that my problems are not important because I was not impoverished and living n a bad environment. But I was hurting and no one comforts nor care to listen that's why I pick my skin. I'm 32 now and somehow I think I'm getting better at avoiding this.

    • @esranurdemircan2061
      @esranurdemircan2061 3 роки тому +1

      What helped you to get better about this situation? I am curious because i almost experience the same with you but probably i have no hope to get better for years ...

    • @kimmiefonze7700
      @kimmiefonze7700 3 роки тому +5

      @@esranurdemircan2061 i guess as i got older, i stopped relying on other people's opinion about me. I never went to a psychiatrist so I rely on videos like this to help me.

    • @esranurdemircan2061
      @esranurdemircan2061 3 роки тому +3

      Thank you for your answer 😊 maybe as you said, i also need some time to realize something better as i get older. I mean i wish so, i try to read and watch for getting the right informations about the situation... 😃 Hope the best for you !

    • @bella3567
      @bella3567 3 роки тому +4

      me too my grandparents raised me w my mom and they never allowed met to complain bc of what they went through growing up in war torn poland but they didn’t realize they caused me more trauma :( it’s called invalidatation

  • @TheDhammaHub
    @TheDhammaHub 3 роки тому +178

    Any imperfection must be removed to make our bodies more like the ideal concepts in our minds. It's kinda the same with many "impurities"

    • @figgettit
      @figgettit 3 роки тому +4

      such a literal interpretation.

    • @Missemilie97
      @Missemilie97 3 роки тому +2

      Yes!!

    • @chloebirney3783
      @chloebirney3783 3 роки тому +14

      i will be acceptable when i am smooth 😌and red

    • @nadine9962
      @nadine9962 3 роки тому +1

      I felt this

    • @nvcoates
      @nvcoates 3 роки тому +9

      @@chloebirney3783 100% this. I just want to shed my skin like a snake and be perfectly red and raw. It sounds so terrible to say it outloud.

  • @tshegofatsotswai1950
    @tshegofatsotswai1950 3 роки тому +2

    The fact that we are many and we suffer from this shows that it's real. Thank you for sharing and showing some steps to take in moving forward 🙏🏼

  • @molly3057
    @molly3057 3 роки тому +3

    From the time I was in kindergarten to when I graduated high school I bit and would pick at my nails. When I finally left school I thought things would get better. But now I bite and pick at my cuticles, as well as scratch at my scalp. When I feel really anxious, I can’t stop myself once I’ve started. This video really hit home for me

  • @jjqde
    @jjqde 3 роки тому +11

    This is amazing! I have never come across such a well-explained description of Dermatillomania! I did not realize how heavily it was influenced by our early childhood experiences. It makes a lot of sense though. I hope videos like this reach many people, so that our heavily judged compulsions can be better understood.

  • @finnatic3334
    @finnatic3334 3 роки тому +13

    I’ve been biting the inside of my mouth for almost three years now . Glad I found this video

    • @charleneherrella389
      @charleneherrella389 3 роки тому +1

      me too! for me it comes and goes... when I do it, I strip at the skin sometimes to a point where it hurts when toothpaste comes in contact with it when I brush my teeth

    • @finnatic3334
      @finnatic3334 3 роки тому +1

      @@charleneherrella389 i sometimes bleed and pull a strip too. hurts to even drink sometimes. even though im aware of it its like i cant stop

  • @estrellassoliloquies
    @estrellassoliloquies 3 роки тому +2

    The beginning of this video made my toes curl and towards the end I started tearing up! so many things make sense now!!
    *thank you so much* 😢

  • @cookiechaina1238
    @cookiechaina1238 3 роки тому +11

    “why do we pick our skin?”
    me “uhhh easy. some part of your skin just doesn’t belong and has to be removed immediately. like, nothing that can give you unsymmetrical sensory feelings and like scabs just don’t deserve to be there. anyway, nothing huge.”

    • @relicofgold
      @relicofgold 3 місяці тому

      It's related to perfectionism.

  • @HelloLuana
    @HelloLuana 3 роки тому +31

    It seems like TSoL is connected to my life: i have just returned from the manicure because i want to give an end to this disturbing and disgusting addiction. I have been doing it for YEARS now, it used to bleed but i have made the habit shrink a lil bit, but the tip of my fingers are pink to this day, due the lack of skin. But i want to change, get better, and deal with problems differently. My fingers, my body in general doesnt deserve it. My body is my home, my temple, and it is my duty to held it clean, healthy, beautiful, sacred.
    Thanks School of Life, you're always giving the best advices and (i dont know how) always in the right time.

  • @dailydoseofmedicinee
    @dailydoseofmedicinee 3 роки тому +41

    Some may feel compelled to remove perceived imperfections, while others pick in response to stress, boredom, or out of habit. 👍

    • @reedsylvier5250
      @reedsylvier5250 3 роки тому +3

      I personally am all of the above here

    • @toni2309
      @toni2309 3 роки тому +3

      Yes. Plus there are the sensory processing disorder people who do it to regulate their sensory input.

    • @HannaMagdalena
      @HannaMagdalena 3 роки тому

      And then there's us who do all of it lmao

  • @rxyuyu
    @rxyuyu Рік тому +2

    Why am I crying watching this ..I feel like no one even my own family understands this even if I try to tell them

  • @emmadilemma5274
    @emmadilemma5274 2 роки тому +2

    Reading the comments is so therapeutic. Thank you everyone for sharing your deeply personal experiences. My heart is so heavy for those still struggling with this. Connecting with others is hard for me usually; here, I know I am seen, understood and cared for. ♥️

  • @saralanzuise2112
    @saralanzuise2112 3 роки тому +5

    now I know I am not the only one. After years I see now how it gets better when I am surrounded by friends.I always been alone but I am starting to understand how friendship works. And I am 33 years old. Thanks for your channel, you did help me a lot.

  • @july7578
    @july7578 3 роки тому +9

    Yes, and what this video forgets to add on top of the anxiety causing all this is the anxiety that comes from being intimate with a new partner for the first time. The shame from all the scars and rough skin followed from years (or decades) after picking the skin. Not really setting up the mood to feel sexy.

  • @sophievictoria7337
    @sophievictoria7337 3 роки тому +8

    This video made me break down into tears. I have had this problem all my life, and growing up was constantly humiliated and taunted about it by my mother. The irony that she was the one probably causing it all along. Thanks for this video, the more people who recognise this as a side effect of anxiety and trauma, the more likely this habit can be overcome.

  • @NandiniCXO
    @NandiniCXO 2 роки тому +1

    I actually feel good that so many people suffer from this disorder. It's a pleasure and a habit of ripping of my skin near my nails and toe nails. I tell myself to stop, it never works... I will try to stop it. 😊

  • @jessiew4103
    @jessiew4103 3 роки тому +4

    As someone who has suffered on and off with moderate-severe dermatillomania for 13 years, I feel honoured that school of life made s video about this

  • @leewatson6959
    @leewatson6959 3 роки тому +35

    I have trichotillomania, it's basically the same thing although I pull out hair rather than at my skin. Interesting insight as to why I do and you have nailed me and my situation. Hoping to learn from this, thanks.

    • @myozbubble
      @myozbubble 3 роки тому +3

      I started to pull the hairs out on my legs in hopes of transferring the problem. Now I do it as well as picking. I'm glad I don't pull the hairs out on my head. I'm sorry to read that you struggle with it.

    • @musicallynerdy8860
      @musicallynerdy8860 3 роки тому +2

      I pull my hair out too but first I twirl it until it gets knotty and then I rip the knot out. Before that I used to scratch the back of my knees and the front of my elbows. Along with the hair, now I also pick at my nails and tear the white tops off so I never have to cut my nails since I pick at them. So not sure if it’s worse that I do both but this video was absolutely correct as to why I do it. I just don’t think I can stop

    • @yazminbailey5369
      @yazminbailey5369 3 роки тому +4

      I read somewhere that normally these anxiety disorders come in twos. I have both trichotillomania and dermatillomania but just on my lip. I tend to pull my hair in the same areas so it doesn't spread and doesn't notice, but I know some people can have it really bad. It's always comforting to find people that are dealing with the same thing :)

    • @myozbubble
      @myozbubble 3 роки тому +2

      @@yazminbailey5369 .* can see that. It is comforting to know there are others like me.

    • @jaci7974
      @jaci7974 3 роки тому +1

      My brother had this for many many years. He had absolutely no eyebrows or eyelashes. He somehow stopped. I don’t know how, but it is possible. :)

  • @sessessesses
    @sessessesses 3 роки тому +10

    This brought me to tears, for once I feel like someone understands. It’s been so many years, of honestly self torture that I can’t get grips on. Thank you for this video. It hit me in places I didn’t even know I had.

  • @Rukain
    @Rukain 3 роки тому +2

    I picked skin on my fingers since childhood. At first I thought it was nothing but just a normal behavior. Later in my early 20s I realized I did it whenever I got anxious or nervous. I tried to be mindful about my behavior ever since but failed to stop it. Even before finding this video I was picking skin on my fingers. But I didn't know it was this deep, had a term and other people did it too until I saw this video. It's a kind of relief to know that I'm not the only one. This was very helpful. Thank you.

  • @mackieincsouthsea
    @mackieincsouthsea 3 роки тому +15

    I've known I've had this for years (doing it since maybe 12, worse at 18-22 or so) and looking further into it some time ago I think I could very well be on the spectrum for OCD, so much more complex than people realise as a condition and layers to it. This video explains it some of it so well, it links to various traits that I went through like a tick box, huge introvert, ruthless self critic, restless overthinker and conscious empath. Personally I completely disagree on the childhood part though, I was very well loved, I had a fantastic, measured upbringing. Not rich or poor, neither coddled or berated, nicely in between, my parents were excellent, laid back but I knew when I'd misbehaved. In ways I live my life between scabs, welts and the scars they leave. They're so minor to others visibly for me, fortunately I don't get many actual spots but find what I can when I pick, I moved to my nose cause I can always squeeze something out of the pores and that makes them slightly larger and it sucks, it's so much worse to me than others and it can really impact your confidence. I'm feel like I'm getting past it nowadays, or at least in a positive period with it lately, and am recognising triggers to picking and trying to work on them. It's hard to think much about my underlying self will change enough to gain healthier coping mechanisms, but hey, I've had an introspective few years and it's been incredibly uplifting. Personally, I feel like I'll always take some things out on myself to an extent, others have their own things to deal with and I try not to add to the pile unnecessarily, most issues I deal with in life are just my burden to bare alone and I recognise that, they're mostly simple, manageable worries anyway. I try to replace the picking with a care routine and find since I've been mostly off social media it has eased, and further since working from home. I express frustration healthily too and only when necessary and do vent occasionally to the important people when I need to. Romantically I've never been with anyone for any real length of time and that could be an aspect, I found the pressure too much in youth and learned to manage fairly well alone, but honestly, overall I tend to lead a happier life than most of the partnered up people around me 😂

    • @anj8122
      @anj8122 3 роки тому +1

      Take care :')

    •  3 роки тому +1

      Hey guys, I had a similar experience and I list in a comment above some measurements I took that helped me! Try to find it, some may work for you as well :)

    • @mackieincsouthsea
      @mackieincsouthsea 3 роки тому

      @ just read/commented, really interesting to hear your experience!

  • @bram1827
    @bram1827 3 роки тому +5

    I never react on video’s, but I am beyond happy that you’ve made a video about this very common yet often overlooked way of dealing with anxiety. I believe this video Will help when explaining my motivation for doing so to others. Thank you very much for creating it.

  • @jasminewhite9623
    @jasminewhite9623 2 роки тому +2

    I broke down crying because this is the first time I feel as though someone truly understood what I’ve been going through my whole life. And i’ve never understood why and what this was that I did… and I’ve always felt so shameful about hurting myself in this way… from my thumb…to the rest of my skin around my fingernails, toes and heels at some point in time. I hope to finally break this endless feeling/cycle.

  • @abdulbasit9435
    @abdulbasit9435 3 роки тому +1

    I scratch my heels to the point where it turns purple. And then scratch it more because it feels so good, almost euphoric

  • @joedavis4150
    @joedavis4150 3 роки тому +275

    ... This ghastly condition is what we are conditioned to be in public school: an anxious frantic hyperactive obedient worker.

    • @joedavis4150
      @joedavis4150 3 роки тому +10

      @@giuliac1361 ... Yes you are right. I have taught all the grades from K through 12. I noticed that Beyond the 4th or 5th grade, when we have learned our 3 R's, school is mainly to condition us to report for work everyday, and to obey.

    • @abhinarayan7751
      @abhinarayan7751 3 роки тому +2

      @@giuliac1361 I'm doing my 12 th now in this pandemic Time and sometimes I get really nervous whenever I think about my future, I work towards my goals and try to do the best I can ; I hope I can have a calmer ,steady and consistent life in college

    • @daniel-zh9nj6yn6y
      @daniel-zh9nj6yn6y 3 роки тому +1

      I liked school. I didn't like most of the other kids, though. But college was cool.

    • @LSSYLondon
      @LSSYLondon 3 роки тому +1

      Same with private school/faith schools. Anxious about religious, anxious about gov't, anxious about hell, and of course... obedient don't ask questions or you will get detention...

    • @anascarlet
      @anascarlet 3 роки тому

      More like university, but sure lol

  • @lucylu5241
    @lucylu5241 3 роки тому +61

    I was like : ewew what a nasty video
    Also me : wait, i pick my skin ( enters the video)

    • @doelette7400
      @doelette7400 3 роки тому +4

      lol yeah the imagery disturbed me, i started picking at any imperfections on my skin because it felt better to have a scab on my face that’s at least smooth, than a pimple which is a bump, but i don’t think i would do it on my body

    • @lucylu5241
      @lucylu5241 3 роки тому

      @@doelette7400 humans are so weird lol

  • @jfksajdfjsdj
    @jfksajdfjsdj 3 роки тому +1

    Never have I clicked on a video so fast before. I’ve suffered from what is called dermatophagia, which is bitting the skin on our fingers compulsively. I’ve done this for all my life it seems and every time I stop for a few months, I’m right back at it picking and biting again.
    I’ve studied myself and can pinpoint when I’m most prone to pick and it’s when I’m in social settings and whenever I’m just spacing out.
    Watching this video definitely gave me more insight as to why I may have difficulty resolving this problem.

  • @akashpathak6505
    @akashpathak6505 2 роки тому +1

    When he listed the cause, It had me like finally someone gets it. It was a relief

  • @gabiilu9606
    @gabiilu9606 3 роки тому +19

    "the introvert's disease" is so damn true when I look how I've made my hair looks more dull, starting to look like old granny even tho I'm in my late twenties. How no one understands you or tries to, how there were lack of love an compassion and how being alone is the only "desirable" place to go to.. Is really depressing but so comforting to hear from others the same issue I have been going through fro long time now.

  • @saltpepper7525
    @saltpepper7525 3 роки тому +25

    "Aeons of solitude" at least that's how long they have felt!

  • @agatamakowska1852
    @agatamakowska1852 3 роки тому +2

    Thank you ❤️ It’s so emotional to hear and have it acknowledged in such a kind way. I’ve struggled with this for years and years but talking therapy has helped.

  • @ultraNastka
    @ultraNastka 3 роки тому +1

    I've been picking at my skin over 10 years now and this video made me cry

  • @kaysmith4594
    @kaysmith4594 3 роки тому +19

    Its amazing how there is a name for everything!! I thought it was just me who did this. Sometime I just can't spot picking my face. I with I could stop for good.
    Iv made myself look a lot worse 😢

    • @tulekiiiiiisu
      @tulekiiiiiisu 3 роки тому +2

      Hi there. I have the same problem :) I pick my face. It`s so hard to stop

    • @Emmbunn
      @Emmbunn 3 роки тому +1

      @@tulekiiiiiisu same

    • @kaysmith4594
      @kaysmith4594 3 роки тому +3

      Its so comforting and relaxing at the time. But as I have dark skin, it leaves so many marks and scares ;(
      Wishing you both health, peace and better days to come💐💞🍀👍

    • @Emmbunn
      @Emmbunn 3 роки тому +1

      @@kaysmith4594 i have hundreds of scars on my brown skin too, we will get through this

  • @WigglyTuffStuff
    @WigglyTuffStuff 3 роки тому +3

    One of the shorter videos, yet this one has tears streaming down my face as I consider my own loneliness, especially in these trying times.

  • @ohwellwhateverr
    @ohwellwhateverr 3 роки тому +16

    But what about when you had a happy childhood with a loving and attentive family, and yet you still turn into a anxiety-ridden, solitary mess? This video made me MORE anxious, thanks a lot.

    • @FerenikeKantartzi
      @FerenikeKantartzi 3 роки тому +5

      I know what you mean... Same here I've had a happy childhood, both of my parents were there and we never lacked anything. Yet as I grow older I realize that there are unseen emotional wounds that I'm working through. This means that even though I had a seemingly great childhood, that my emotional needs were not met so I still feel anxious and working through my low self-esteem.

    • @ohwellwhateverr
      @ohwellwhateverr 3 роки тому +2

      @@FerenikeKantartzi I feel exactly the same. It’s not a nice place to be.

    • @RedactedATS
      @RedactedATS 3 роки тому

      Have you considered looking at your diet? Lots of evidence now to suggest diet can directly cause anxiety etc. I can attest to that myself. Got my dietary allergies and sensitivities under control and have been off anti depressants and 3 different pain meds for nearly a year. If I accidentally ingest something I'm allergic to, my mood turns within half an hour, back to the anxious outlook and feeling of dread.
      Cant hurt to do some research on this area and have a look at your diet to clean things up a bit. Just a thought. Good luck ✌

    • @ohwellwhateverr
      @ohwellwhateverr 3 роки тому

      @@RedactedATS I’m a healthy weight and I rarely have fast food, though I admit I eat too much sugar and not enough fruit/veg. When I’m low I lose my appetite, so I often undereat. It’s definitely not the sole cause (I think genetics and personality type play a part), but it’s something to consider, thank you.

  • @christal2641
    @christal2641 3 роки тому +1

    The phenomenon is a form of self-stimulation. It is grounded in 2 factors: 1) the pain YOU CONTROL is far less intense for that very reason; 2) focusing on 1 pain drowns the other pain which is making you feel helpless.
    Many young children engage in this behavior, as they age, perhaps they all continue, but have learned to hide it, or substitute it for another kind of self-stimulation. When children attack their fingers, and parents paint their nails with a bitter substance, the kids find another spot to attack.
    TREATMENT: Anti-anxiety medication alone may reduce the compulsion, but may nit be enough to bind anxiety.
    It is often easier to trade 1 nervous habit for another, less harmful one.
    Occupying the hands in another way helps. The Greeks use "worry beads," which they wear like a loose bracelet, or keep in their pockets when not needed.