INFJ DATING | What INFJs Need in a Partner
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- Опубліковано 4 лип 2020
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INFJ Life Coach Lesson: Today we're talking about INFJ dating, in particular, what INFJs need in a partner, and a relationship. The things we read most of the time say: "This is the best partner, so let's say another personality type" or that "we need other intuitive types". I want to go a little bit deeper because I believe in regards to our personal development, it makes a lot of sense to look at the particular traits I'm going to talk to you about today.
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What are some of the characteristics you are looking for in a relationship?
Loyal, observant, good listener, respecting my feelings, really interested in knowing me, someone with whom I can work together in harmony. Also a bit warmer than me. People say these are high expectations :))
I need someone who is funny and amusing which we can be goofy together, laugh, joke and play😅, in the other hand be very kind, patient and responsible so when I fall down, he can Reassure that "Everything gonna be right"
I'm a 34 year old single INFJ male with a non-existent love-life... What I'm looking for is a girl who wants to be with me because she loves and respects me for who I am, not necessarily what I look like, or what I have, or what I can do for her ego or financially. I'm not well-off...Despite having some nice things. I'm not the best looking guy. And I'm not in good shape (work in progress). I just want a girl to look past that and want to get to know the real me, what's inside.
Sounds cheesy, but it is what it is. You only sit alone and self-reflect for so many years before realizing exactly what you want.
I think I've found my perfect girl, but the odds of her and I ever meeting are slim-to-none. All I can do is keep praying she'll open her heart towards me and be interested enough to want to get to know me. I can't tell, but I think she's also an INFJ... She's definitely an introvert. She's smart, funny, beautiful, quirky, awkward, and goofy, and I love watching her videos...Just seeing her smile makes me happy. But she's from one of the Slavic countries, and lived here in the U.S. for a while, but she's back in that country now with all this corona crap going on, and I think she might be dating someone right now... 😞 At first, when I was commenting on her videos and being open and honest and stuff about how I felt and sharing deep things about my life, she was liking and "hearting" my comments and stuff, and suddenly the last couple months she hasn't been, which makes me think she's dating someone again. So, she's definitely an intuitive, I just hope she comes back around to me.
An open minded listener who know I am not here to change him and to simply have a space of acceptance and growth and creating possibilities!
Trustworthy, God strong, dependable, initiative is a must/driven, communicator, wants deep conversation, strong minded, optimistic, loyal, someone in my corner, who will stick up for me in my presence and absence..but in a mature way. Affectionate, hard working, a good father, husband
''i was losing myself when focusing on others" part made me cry, idk why i used to be so obsessed with 'fixing people' just because i saw their potential, i helped my ex-es (whose standards were below me) got better jobs etc while it was actually killing me because i myself had gone nowhere. thank you so much for this video!
Mee too . Worst case scenario now I avoid relationships. I kind off have a fear that I will loose myself again . So if I get a choice Iwill choose to be single for my life 😊😊
Wow this hit me hard as well. After all the sacrifices aNd trying to help others because I saw their potential… they still didn’t appreciate it and I was left stagnant for years. I’m learning to put my priorities first even though I still struggle at times
Same... I take pride in that they were better off when it was over than they were when the relationship started, but at the end of the day...
Yes and than the ones we help accuse us of their failures too with all of their bulshit and crap and their inability to grow in life. So the biggest lesson here is to be selfish and concentrate on your own growth. People even the ones you love are so mean and selfish themselves.
@@Thilosophocl3s same. recently i've been realizing that perhaps these interactions came with a specific purpose (helping them turn their life around) that I fulfilled, and now it is time to move on. me getting wrapped up in the romanticism is my bad - have to be careful that feeling compelled to help people may indicate a deeper connection but can be a platonic and temporary one.
1. We need to feel alive
2. We need future plans
3. We need to be able to express ourselves
4. We need somebody who allow us to be ourselves (not an escape from ourselves)
Yes agree
I'm in relationship with Intj and it works pretty well (11years). So what I got from it: I feel safe, I know I can trust him, he accepts me as I am, he gives me realistic point of view, I get my personal space, he is much more consistent and what most important I don't get bored because even after such a long time together he can be unpredictable to me.
👍👍👍
I'm kinda of curious, 11 years thus far, could you share your experience in arguing with your INFJ or annoying things he does that makes you respond in a tone?
Nice!
I just asked my boyfrIen if he knows his profile. He thinks either INTJ or INTP.
He keeps me on my toes too.
Im definitely not gis sidekick, yet I do feel the need to water my grass far more
"I thought that if I understood them so well, that they would understand me.." SOO true! All of this is sooo incredibly helpful and resonate, you're speaking to this stagnation I've been allowing myself to be stuck in for years, such an amazing lesson thank you! And yes, I have so much trouble letting go of this partner because I keep trying to understand why he doesn't "SEE" me, I don't want to make him but WHYY. haha
On a subconscious level we know that we would stand up as we really are, they would go. So we dont do it and extender till the slam door shows up.
I am an infj and I have an avoidant attachment type which makes it very difficult I need someone independent yet willing to do most of the chasing- but not too much lol!
Same... It's hard.
I know exactly what you mean...the thing is: we can do hard things...talk to more people, do online dating with personality tests...take control of what you can control and it‘s always more than you think
Well, Katie. You have to find someone who has a secure attachment type then you will able to learn and grow from avoidant to secure otherwise you will be in the same circle as you were in before.
Me too. Ugh, struggle is real
Me too
If someone were to ask me that question " what are you looking for in a girlfriend" I think I would have to tell them that I'm looking for someone who would want to help me believe that my past was just a really bad dream.
Dude I resonate with that. Sometimes I try to think that my past was just a bad dream. I didn’t know someone else was having the exact same thought too
As an INFJ male, I haven't been with anyone in so long it's debilitating and emotionally crippling...Not to mention ego-crushing. I've always been treated like the friend, and never the lover. It's been a rough life. I've also always just rolled with the flow of life, and with whatever my friends wanted to do (as most of us all had similar interests...Drinking, partying, and chasing women), and never was too concerned with taking the reigns. I've finally took charge of my life and figured out the direction I wanted, the woman I want to be with, where I want to go in life, and started exerting my natural dominance of the entire hierarchy as a sigma-alpha, and as soon as I did that (about 2 years ago), almost ALL of my friends have started disappeared from my life...Calling less, wanting to hangout less often, claiming their always busy, etc... People I was friends with for decades. Is it the sigma-alpha part, or the INFJ part that scares/wards-off people? When I find something I'm passionate about, be-it hobby, interest, friend, girlfriend, etc... I am fiercely and intensely loyal, expressive, passionate, and protective over them. Some folks that can be a little much, I get that... But it's just how we INFJ's are.
Any advice would be MUCH appreciated.
aigma and alpha might not be a good mix. because it's donimate trait is self defeating in nature. but it could be interesting revelation. see alpha rather means to some people a leader . while sigma is lone wolf. so you could be defeating your own agenda. you can not have both a group leader and a sigma that breaks things down into an indepenent view point usless you are with a series of just alphas . so a sigma alpha might hold down a larger so called elect group of hierarchy. but in the ends of all that your disconnected from the lower hierarchy that you might have cut yourself off from depending how far from wealth side have you become. heirarchy does not have to be about money either of course. it's a figment of the order of operations. most times a sigma is ruled under a series of chaos rather then hierarchy. But neither can you have both rules and all wisdom of both systems. it boils down to no man have it all and life experiences with it. those top of the rung tend to think they are on top. but not always realize those ones on the bottom of the system have on hands experience that wealth can't buy (that was example it does not have to be money) of the division
Just be 'you' Sir...in many ways I've walked the same path. Would rather be genuine to myself than ...'soften' and accommodating so other's feather's aren't ruffled. INFJ Sigma's tend to scare women away, mostly. Frankly, most people today are too lazy to invest themselves in a relationship...we being who we are makes it even more unlikely for them to drop a sweat for is.
I can resonate with this; I just lost my entire social circle- being passionate deep, fierce (good word!), loyal and thought provoking is scary to people I guess, starting to question if staying solo with one gay friend that sorta gets me is the play at this point and just double down all my efforts on myself and my own agenda; but the need to care and love people just doesn't sit well with that idea- I'm in a walking paradox horror show for almost a year
As a female, I concur 😎
HI Troy, I see that your post was written 2 years ago. I hope you've found a special person in your life. I fully feel your frustration and emotional pain. Not only am I an INFJ, but I'm a 64 yo female INFJ, a Leo, USMC veteran and I run 2 businesses; Hypnotherapy/Life Coach and Musician/Teacher. I'm not daunting at all! So approachable ... NOT. It's so easy for people to quip "Just be yourself!", but the needs of Myself include pouring everything I have into another person which, in turn, flows that energy back to me because I'm special to THEM. I'm doomed to a life of solitude and celibacy, I'm afraid. Now I have to get OK with it and be the best Gramma I can be.
I'm an INFP and I love an INFJ-A he's awesome he's crazy about me too. I'm an introvert but also very sociable. We just click in every way.
Omg that is what I wrote in my poetry :
I rise above the all heartbreak.
I chose to be my greatest mate.
I surrender to the God's will.
and choose to harness all my skills.
I am thankful for the life I have.
The truth, honesty, the good I crave
Nor bitter or sad, but broken still.
I am, a force to be reckoned with!
You have to keep up, if you will?
I will turn stale if I am still.
Just bring the light, the love and hope.
So we can spread the good we soak.
So we could live a better life .
A life of piety, love, foresight.
Poetess : Nosheen Zaidi
Absolutely true and those ones who we can not look upon too or being inspired by, we just can not respect. We need the complete package mental, emotional and physical understanding. Disrespect us or view us that we are beneath you and you will loose us in a jiffy.
This is so true in my previous relationship all my partners was away to excape and i realize this dont make me feel fulfil and that's not what i wanted i want my life to be full of purpose and have someone that has the same hunger as i to have a fulfil life, someone i can be my true self with, some with great mannerism charater, some that brings out the best in me someone that i dont have to be dragging behind me but are on the same page someone that work on themself mentally and emotionally someone that is open minded and willing to learn someone like this would be a great addition to my life
👍👍
Definitely have felt I'm just way too intense to be able to find someone willing to put up with me. Been single for over 6 years now but this made me feel better, thanks.
Loved that, especially the last comment. Thank you!
First video I’ve ever watched of yours and I subscribed right away! Amazing!!
Thank you so much 😭 I needed this
I love your perspective on this topic 💕
Fantastic!!! Well said :)
What are some of the characteristics I am looking for in a relationship? A lady who has an introverted personality type. Her and I would most likely be more respectful of each others space and time,
yet still spend plenty of time with each other. Finding that balance. A good old fashioned courting type of relationship. My prayer and hope is that she does have goals as well, and NOT have control issues. I'm simply not one that will "play the game". I've gotta be me, and she's gonna have to be her, and we're both gonna have to accept one another for who we are while working on our relationship.
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Yes !
It's important to understand each other.
All of what you said, above!
Precious advice, thank you 😊
I am so thrilled to have found your channel! So much confirmation for who I am. Thank you so much!
Thank you for this. It’s something to ponder on. 👌🏼❤️
One of my absolute favorites so far! ❤️❤️❤️
A really great job excellent video. You have a marvelous way of expressing yourself and your editing is excellent as well very healing thank you
Your videos are amazing and inspirational! -INTJ
Great explanation. Explained a recent experience
This is absolutely brilliant. Thank you.
Thank you, Wenzes! :)
I resonate with all your videos so much! This has been me ALL my life. In my friendships and most of my personal relationships and I'm 31 now! This past year, I have decided to move and pursue my own goals and vision despite it shaking up many of the relationships in my life. I've regained a sense of self again which has been so rewarding and less intertwining myself to anyone else and helping people on pursuing their goals and visions.
Wow! Your early comment about us needing space to be ourselves was spot on about why I have an ex. Also, that goals vs stagnant explained exactly why I had to end another relationship a few years ago. Were you a fly on the wall watching those, perhaps???
Thanks so much for makgin the video! It's great to have someone wiser to put these into words for us and showing light on who we INFJ's are and what we need!
I'm starting to trust you. Thank you. Your insight is helping.
Very true ~ wise words.
Thank you coach @Wenzes for such an insightful message!
You're great with this infj life coaching 😍
I wish that I had found you when I needed you but it's still so impactful to be validated in these videos. Thank you ☺️
Yes you are a psychologist!!! You are the best S2
Game on..Thank you :)
The craving for strong emotionality....been obsessed to Outlander for that exact reason. Moved me so emotionally and I haven't been able to break it, still watch that show daily.
I did the same thing!
Me too!!!
Hey love your videos Wenzes. I saw one of your videos from 2014 and I have to say you've come such a long way in the way you speak so confidently and clearly. Really love seeing the progression and growth. Keep it up!
On a side note could you do one on how to initiate a relationship with INFJ? I'm interested in getting know an INFJ lady but boy is it hard to get her to reveal anything about or gives me so little info about herself. 😅. Granted we're only chatting online due to lockdown atm and haven't know each for long.
Anyone can comment on that if any INFJ ladies here have any tips.
Thank you.
You're like a big sister... this was amazing thank you
For a long time I carried so much guilt for leavig so many people behind 😓 family, friends, partners and held myself back to give them time to catch until I had to let go. Once I finally worked that out, it's been easier🙌 Thank you!
Thank you 💓
Than You for insights
Thank you. Very encouraging info!
👍😊
You and yr timing never ceases to amaze me! After several months of review, i had to ask the hard question abt a relationship i was considering committing to. Prob is the person has no life direction or even any drive to create one. Although he was content with being my side kick my intuition told me there wld eventually be trouble down the road. My motivational spirit wld be drained and i wld be stuck with feeling guilty every time i moved fwd. And those steps, cumulatively wld eventually cause a separation that wld be much more painful to break than yesterday. Ive been waffling on whether i made the right decision but truth is im too old to be enabling and im exhausted from yrs of enabling bosses, parents, sublings, friends, coworkers and lovers. Hvg said that im ok with putting my energy all into me!
Thank you this video was helpful. I’m having to end a 3 year relationship now because he didn’t fit into my life when I started trying to be myself partway through the relationship. Once I started healing and trying to grow, he no longer fit in. He would not move forward with me, he wants to stay stagnant and even move backwards and I can’t live like that anymore. I gave up everything to be with him and it was a mistake, I won’t sacrifice anymore for a relationship, not in a way that hurts me. I won’t give up my life for anyone again. I will take your advice on what to look for in a New partner, I was having trouble putting it into words for myself, and understanding what I was trying to look for, but you said exactly what I was thinking. I’ve started to move forward with my life and my dreams again, and I won’t ever look back. I have a life again!
Really appreciate how you broke it down here. I realize after therapy a lot of my desire for a relationship was to make me feel alive and satisfy my need for validation but what you said here about escaping and becoming a “side-kick” resonates so strongly and accurately. I do want a relationship but I want to know myself and validate myself first.
Make a plan, envision and execute.. this is exactly where I am.
This is a very confirming message for me today.
Oh my god this is so true it hurts
Everything you said is true 💯 %
Beautiful 🤩
It is truly bafflng how similar and familiar the lifestories in this comment section are. Im getting litteral chills.
This is great, Wenzes. This has confirmed to me the correctness of some misgivings I had recently about a relationship. While it would have been nice if it had worked out, it's really better that it didn't, and I'm at peace with it. Your video has helped me realize that my inner promptings were correct.
😊👍
INFJs, we can't be their counselor/ coach, and their partner... this has to be an either/or scenario
I'm already subscribed to your channel so you don't need to worry about some relationship keypoints with me. the basics are already held
I always ask people what their vision for their life is and I mean most of that info we can gather from just observing but once you know what you want then the challenge is being patient until you find the person that fits and vice versa
Honesty, straightness, kindness and I want to know all about my partners feelings and thoughts.
AMAZING, thank you! After moving forward from having spent 3.5 years with an ESTJ, I am now learning about and affirming myself more. While the relationship did have a lot of good, it is really eye opening to identify that it was indeed more me who really understood him and wanted to grow together while he was more put off by me sharing who I am and what I wanted. I had an anxious attachment style that I am now healing and it is showing me how important it will be for when i want to seriously date again to not diminish myself and just help the other person, and lose myself in their dreams and goals because I was afraid of abandonment (when i started to put them in front of me is when they then started to lose their attraction for me anyway - it’s obviously not very interesting to be with someone who starts to give up on their own goals and boundaries!!)
Would say to slowly intensify to determine level of the other person.
Shows strength and weakness.
And intensify quicker when wanting to deter others. Lol
Obv don’t show your cards and there is strength in restraint and use restraint when appropriate
The biggest thank you ever from me wenz🙏🏽
Angel😇
😊
Great video! Yes, a partner who is open to growth is so important. Almost 10 years into my relationship and that has been a key factor for me. ❤️
☺️👍
My ex gf left me after 10 years 😂 for monkeybranch to another...but shit on all this sigma infj ftw💯btw she was fearful avoidant attachment style and also infj (its sad)
Thank you so much Wenzes. I was looking for a detailed explanation to this question which you delivered wonderfully. What you said completely resonated with my life. The key takeaway is to know ourselves, prepare a plan for our life considering our dreams and visions, and be our authentic self. If any like-minded person wants to associate with us, then it will be a great match provided we should be living an epic life on our terms. This was really helpful. Thank you :)
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Awesomeness and so clearly stated 💚
Great video.. I figured out I was INFJ about six months ago, everything makes so much sense now. I took several test because I'm always skeptical of things.. Now I have kind of accepted it.
When I figured out I was INFJ. I kept saying no I'm not. It is the rarest personally in the world. I'm not some rare person. I kept taking the test over and over. Kept seeing I was INFJ. I watch videos like this. I agree with all of it. It has taken me years to accept I am INFJ.
We need to feel alive. Well....that explains a lot.
I'm like 80 grit sandpaper I tend to do more than just rub people the wrong way I am so ruogh around the edges that I can draw blood without even trying! I am an Aries too which amplifies the"J"and I have been working on my issues but that just amplifies the frustration!
And important tgat the person understands you... Personally I have not find it with Sensor types...
Your awesome
I had experienced getting n relationships where they were weak no vision and Inded up being a parent no a gf..so all the weight was on me .
Other cases I got into ppl with vision but totally different than mine. So I ended up giving all of me to support their dreams but I never got anything back to me.
I'm driven goal oriented caring etc who can't find the right fit person 😴.. I've been 2 years single, and n the present I am getting to know ( communicating) with a intp who meet most of what I vision as a partner, he is genuine. Upfront communication style and extremely empathetic and concern how I feel and he listen to me, and I feel so comfortable that I can feel open to ask him for his insights... bc he is as none judgmental as me.
But!!! If coming together bc distance he would have to start from scratch a life and I even tho he is q hard worker man, I feel i would find myself parenting him to help him to build his life/goals, and this would be again extra weight on me ...but is sad bc he is the greatest guy I had meet !!!! 🤦🏻♀️ not sure what to do.
This was the best video I have heard about INFJ compatibility. At the end of the day we need to be happy with who we are.
Im an INFP and Im like you described
Hello INFJ,
I have found the solution to why groups hurt us so much. When we have full empathy, we get a full load of emotions in a group and honestly no matter where we go we always have this urge to adapt. So I reduced my empathy, but felt a lot of pain because my sensitivity was almost zero. Above all, it wasn't possible for me to recharge my batteries. Now I've tried to increase sensitivity and decrease empathy and only use it when necessary and it gives a feeling full of energy and above all it relieves you of the feeling of having to adapt. You recognize more clearly what you want. Our adaptation function is, so to speak, a reaction of the sensory system to empathy. Sensory means sensitivity. With this separation you can build your own ego and develop your own desires.
A dreamer
The fact, I've dreamt of you, we're discussing Psychological thoughts 😂what an honor 😊
😀☺️👍
The most important thing is an infj learns how to develop their intrapersonal realtionship , which is something we are not gifted at typically, before we try and have healthy interpersonal relationship.
👍👍
You made me love being an INFJ and in my childhood I hated it I felt lonely without any female friends to talk to
I need understanding loyalty affection patience
I've been single for 47 years.
It‘s always a question what you want and how much you are willing to get out of your comfort zone to change it...maybe relationships aren’t your main focus...the happier you are with yourself the easier it will be to take charge of that part as well and so something you haven’t done before
@@Wenzes I wish i could say it wasn't my focus. I've been constantly searching, never finding anyone interested in reciprocating interest for very long. My close friends say I'm amazing, secure, and its the best friendship they've ever had. But i seem to find only avoidant women, or codependent women seeking someone narcissistic to put their attention into. I let this gaslight me to think i was the problem all these years. I'm pursuing my goals and too poor right now to be anyone's boyfriend, or even date. This worries me that I'll be unable to dig out of this hole, and be alone forever. My main problem is being unable to focus on my goals while i keep getting emotionally distracted by what i can't get or missed out on in life.
@Trevor Vaz me too 😂😂😂
@@spacechampi0n I hope things are atleast a bit better now
If you find the person you’re looking for? Would you date someone older than you?
I am with an ISTJ for 9 years now. And I am not living my epic live yet, working on it. Wondering how he will react when I am m working on my dreams. He doesn't have any goals, lives very in the moment. And that's refreshing for me. Because somehow live gives him everything he needs without working on goals. He pulls me back to the now. And shows me how to take action instead of dreaming all the time. So I am very curious how this will work out, because Wenzes advice is to be with someone that does have dreams and goals!
My ex at first seemed like someone who wants to grow. He applied to go back to school when they accepted him then he said he won't have time to study. He seemed eager for change then I realized that he is just a Con Artist. He has probably been eager since 1983 and his life on the same level. So time can telk if a person will follow through their plan or not.
Yes thats what i did in 30 years and when i started to bee me she told me to stop but i cud not stop so now im deworsed 2 years and im happy to be me ones agen ☺️☺️☺️☺️🇫🇮🇫🇮
ENFP ❤️❤️❤️
Sure ... as in INFJ, I can set my boundaries; but at 64, that's very off-putting and I have to be prepared to go it alone to be my authentic self. My authentic self is juxtaposed to my need to be special to a significant other. To nurture and love and be physical for my special person in able to feel I'm fulfilling my role. That's my need. There are fewer fish in my sea, at this point, and I cannot lower my standards and settle for less. I'm quite happy with myself. I did all that to be of value to someone else, too!
Give an example of extroverted sensing
Do you have any advice on how to set new goals? I'm over 50 and gave up on all my goals for a relationship, family, career long ago, and have trouble figuring out what I want any more. I feel like I'm just trying to survive. But there has to be more to life than this.
6:01 - 6:06
Oh my gosh what a wakeup call,I'm going to get rid of this guy very soon ,I put him up at my Unit thinking I was being nice he's lied to me 3Times and I told him last night he had to go ,I can't be around people with low Vibes I need high vibe and it will happen soon as he leaves YAAY🤸🌈🙌
The most important relationship you have is with yourself. I need to make a tattoo of this statement in my forehead 🤪
Well I was attracted to an intj
How many Libra ♎️ info’s are here?
I'm wondering if I'm now at that starting point that you were at years ago that gave you the "oomph" you needed to press forward through your metamorphosis 🙂 I started watching your videos in early 2017. Had an awful yet eye opening experience with an ENTJ, as well as the ESTP he manipulated (though both are). I am living on my own for the first time ever and it's really helped me. My job as a CNA for 25 people diagnosed with dementia isn't sustainably interesting forever but it checks most of my boxes. Only problem is I make slightly above minimum wage. But, no debt or heavy monthly expenses 🙂 My bills (not food etc) are probably only 40% of my income.
Anyway, I appreciate your inspiration and hope you have some interesting adventures in all your endeavors
Hey, I'm thinking about living on my own because I also believe it'll probably help do a lot for me
Can you tell me in which ways it has helped you?
@Jessence you got this! Kee working on decluttering negative beliefs and always set bigger goals in a direction that excites you
L H ....the less external energy you are confronted with the better you can focus on creating your own kind of energy that pushes you forward
@@Wenzes Thanks! A big step for that will be to find a way to get more energy! My eating habits and lack of intentional exercise (I do walk a lot at work) is a first step. But I don't know where to start so will probably research for a year knowing me 😂 In all seriousness, I have one lead of where to start
I can't really go after the life I want if I feel drained and limited by physicality
@@LeJa-ks1vc Great question. It has helped me first of all by building a greater sense of self-trust. I am taking care of myself (paying my own bills, cleaning, etc all by my own volition) and I met a goal I have been dreaming of my whole life. Though I am about 8 years behind most people, no matter. I am doing it now and appreciate the courage and journey even more.
It has also helped because I have more time and space to work on my goals than to hide behind the distractions of others. I do meet with a few people each week as well as talk to a few at work.
I now have my own kitchen, bathroom, etc so now I can decorate and organize in a way that feels inspiring to me, without anxiety about agreeing with others.
I've had my share of roommates or living under another's roof and though I did and can go through those experiences, I just generally am seeing myself very gradually in a new light.
I also am forced to look at my habits more honestly as I can blame no other house mate haha. Well, maybe my cat, but he's too cute to blame for anything for long.
I just generally have realized a lot of challenges feel larger in my head. I met this goal that felt impossible to me due to complex trauma and not feeling safe. I am an Enneagram 6w5 and growing self-reliant, self-supporting and calm/optimistic is my path of growth. Trusting my inner knowing and even being willing to make mistakes and be wrong instead the fear that I might be wrong. Living on my own has showed me that I can be responsible! And do things I like and get in touch with my Ti and Se.
My apartment is becoming very very colorful yet moody 😁
I've felt like I'm hindering My chances to meet new People. I'd hope to meet any Lady with a fun personality. Maybe We can bring some meaning to each Other's life. Maybe We can move forward on the same path that's equally made from both of Our needs. I'm not that comfortable with allowing Myself to be seen by Others. I'm more comfortable with staying in the background as Others put themselves out there for the world to see ! Maybe this is the wrong thing to do !
I do plenty of girl chasing. but it always hits one way. there is a wall in women expectations that women place walls on. you see that most times a women expect a man to take inititive and advance. the problem is clear to infj that it respects such character of freewill and choice that women have tendencies not to " chase/ pursue " interests. from I finally gather. it is not a character flaw. it never works out when a women can not organize such respect of her ideas as an individual. so there goes my final reality complex that I have been seeking. as I said I chase plenty and show interests. but even 'wealthy' women can not even offer an agenda to connect or have a plan to connect with me. there flaw of being connected as one heart and soul tends to be the character flaw of empathy they require. but you helped me pin point it more clear with this video
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I'm going to contest the idea that women should look for men who fit their plans. The strongest connections require that the big plans be charted together, period! Totally non-negotiable!
From INFJ perspective can someone share why i keep getting super emotion when i talk about topics like: ‘Why I am the way that I am’. It’s like I’m super passionate about my perspective, experience and understanding and when I talk about it, my voice gets louder stronger and very emotional (tears sometimes too). Is this a good thing or not or whats wrong with me. 😅
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is there a partner or does there have to be one for everyone?😎😎
My partner is an infp 😂 12 years together
Looks like replies are misinterpreted as stories.
As a enfp i thought it would be easy to be with an infj. He left silently. Trying to get rid of me so hard. I feel he got irritated with me.
Can i ever get him back? Will it ever be the same?