Haley Fumbles Civil War Question | Trump Panders To Iowa’s Evangelicals | Boeing’s 737 Blunder

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  • Опубліковано 7 січ 2024
  • Nikki Haley left out some important details when describing the cause of the Civil War, Donald Trump is playing to the faithful ahead of the Iowa caucus, and Stephen describes a scary situation on a recent Boeing 737 flight.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 3,8 тис.

  • @shermanculbertson6244
    @shermanculbertson6244 6 місяців тому +3331

    It’s totally beyond me how anyone could look at Trump and see what he does and think “That’s my guy. He should be president.”

    • @victorarredondo304
      @victorarredondo304 6 місяців тому +46

      I'm more surprised how people can support sleepy Joe

    • @anzaca1
      @anzaca1 6 місяців тому +469

      ​@@victorarredondo304Because he actually does good work? Because he's a respectful person?

    • @mnelson522
      @mnelson522 6 місяців тому

      Trump is my guy. Stephen Colbert is a,nut job who can't stop talking about a former President. Trump OWNS Colbert!

    • @toggle2565
      @toggle2565 6 місяців тому +7

      @@anzaca1 15 million who knows who entered the country, you trust these people living with your children.

    • @heyheytaytay
      @heyheytaytay 6 місяців тому +255

      You underestimate the complete stupidity of at least half the American electorate

  • @zoeydeu2261
    @zoeydeu2261 6 місяців тому +279

    I'm Aussie, they've never taught us about the American civil war in high school, nor have I studied American history, but even I know it was over slavery.

    • @phil-anthrophist3960
      @phil-anthrophist3960 6 місяців тому +15

      Bloody oath!! Exactly the same for me,, it's amazing how it's fairly common knowledge outside of the states but not in the states

    • @cinne2135
      @cinne2135 6 місяців тому +18

      ​​@@phil-anthrophist3960 Oh, they know it alright, but saying "states' rights" became the standard, conservative reply for political reasons; for those who hated the idea the US is an unequal nation & the sins of the past are a fabric of now & our future. It's been that way for a while now actually & not just with politicians or the politically acute. I could write a book...
      Edit: Whoaful comma

    • @bigskypioneer1898
      @bigskypioneer1898 6 місяців тому +20

      Oh they know. The southern states were actually occupied by the Army for the next 10 years after the war... some states longer. To regain US citizenship the rebel states had to affirm the 14th Amendment (not kidding, they really did) in a statewide convention AND they had tonswear an oath to the USA and the Constitution (one that sounds very similar to the one used to swear in the President). Anyway, I moved to Alabama from the wild west in the 80s and I still remember being confused why Southerners would not admit there was a civil war... to them it was known as "the war of northern aggression" Even though it was South Carolina that seceded first and fired upon Union troops at Fort Sumter... not the other way around. Oddly they also didn't accept the election of Lincoln either.

    • @thejuiceking2219
      @thejuiceking2219 6 місяців тому +10

      incorrect! it's about states rights...specifically the states rights to own slaves

    • @j10001
      @j10001 6 місяців тому

      @@bigskypioneer1898💯

  • @dancepiglover
    @dancepiglover 6 місяців тому +220

    Trump is out of his mind. But the fact that there are people out there who can’t see it is even more insane.

    • @Droo75
      @Droo75 6 місяців тому

      Just like Biden and the entire US system.

    • @bradjones5107
      @bradjones5107 6 місяців тому +1

      President Trump is out,....... in front of everyone in the polls with 63 points!!!
      Biden's at a miserable ¹¹ points.
      We The People want President Trump!

    • @bradjones5107
      @bradjones5107 6 місяців тому +1

      ​​@Rob-yc7bsLike what, there are an infinite number of genders? I hope not because I plan on moving to South Carolina when I retire shortly.

    • @garyroundtree3293
      @garyroundtree3293 6 місяців тому

      Hi this sick guy is not a leader and he won't win and God knows it.

    • @JuliaBl
      @JuliaBl 6 місяців тому +1

      They think they are normal themselves. And recognise trump. So, easy conclusion.

  • @beataylorsdeeppinkecstasy9013
    @beataylorsdeeppinkecstasy9013 6 місяців тому +58

    "I love studying..." Who does he think he's kidding? His White House staff have said that he wouldn't read intelligence reports, preferring to look at visuals instead. Since he has refused to allow the university he supposedly attended to release his grades, we have only our imaginations to tell us what Trump's idea of studying is/was.

    • @Fathimir
      @Fathimir 6 місяців тому +1

      "Who does he think he's kidding?"
      About 30 million Americans - not many in the grand scheme of things, but maaaaybe just enough to keep him out of prison.

    • @NuvoVision
      @NuvoVision 6 місяців тому

      BOT

  • @heyheytaytay
    @heyheytaytay 6 місяців тому +1057

    Imagine calling yourself a Christian, and then supporting a guy who is the complete antithesis of everything Christ taught in the New Testament. Hilarious yet sad.

    • @victorarredondo304
      @victorarredondo304 6 місяців тому

      You know Joe Biden is pro abortion and stand against Christian values

    • @MrFancyFingers
      @MrFancyFingers 6 місяців тому +19

      Don’t forget the Old Testament, it’s still part of the Bible.

    • @IAmJustR
      @IAmJustR 6 місяців тому

      🤔

    • @heyheytaytay
      @heyheytaytay 6 місяців тому +52

      @@MrFancyFingers but not relevant to my point, is it? ...

    • @LincolnDWard
      @LincolnDWard 6 місяців тому +31

      @@heyheytaytay only in that the Old Testament also has a great deal to say about people like Trump and how God feels about them.

  • @gamepapa1211
    @gamepapa1211 6 місяців тому +896

    Considering he said the revolutionary army took over the airports in 1775 from the Brits, Girth Vader should be the LAST person criticizing anyone for not knowing their U.S. histories.

    • @istdochallesegal3427
      @istdochallesegal3427 6 місяців тому +34

      You clearly don't understand military strategy fundamentals: air superiority is everything!

    • @crusheverything4449
      @crusheverything4449 6 місяців тому +32

      @@istdochallesegal3427- If you’re being sarcastic, that’s funny. If you’re serious, you’re pathetic.

    • @tytn9978
      @tytn9978 6 місяців тому +44

      LOL!!! Love that you refer to him as "Girth Vader"! Even a better nickname than "orange jesus"!

    • @davidweyant9356
      @davidweyant9356 6 місяців тому +53

      But the airports were safe during the Revolutionary War. Trump said so. He also said islands are surrounded by water. He also said he called the president of the United States Virgin Islands. He didn't know he was the president of the United States Virgin Islands. Bing bing bong ding.

    • @S-tank_
      @S-tank_ 6 місяців тому +7

      Can someone explain to me what that sound is at 3.31 lmao. Is it a cow or did they camera man eat beans or what

  • @hardyharr9377
    @hardyharr9377 6 місяців тому +41

    That woman in the green suit's cringe face after Nikki said she had black friends growing up is perfect

    • @KB-ld6ql
      @KB-ld6ql 6 місяців тому +2

      They were forced to carry her books. Not slavery just something to do against your will

    • @charityquill4965
      @charityquill4965 6 місяців тому +4

      I had to go back to see, but I can definitely see a wince lol.

  • @leifharmsen
    @leifharmsen 6 місяців тому +30

    Everytime Trump claims someone said "Sir...", just wait for it.

    • @paulchamberlain8355
      @paulchamberlain8355 6 місяців тому +5

      Big man, tough guy, tears running down his face...

    • @KB-ld6ql
      @KB-ld6ql 6 місяців тому

      SIR MY ASS. The stink rises

  • @NewMessage
    @NewMessage 6 місяців тому +258

    I'm disappointed that Stephen didn't mention the smell issue. If only to finally explain why so many large, tough men seem to ask Donnie questions with 'tears streaming down'.

    • @IAmJustR
      @IAmJustR 6 місяців тому +12

      yeah that pants story was WIDE OPEN too 😏

    • @NinjaHampster117
      @NinjaHampster117 6 місяців тому +14

      I always figured they're sad because they're broke..... then again, they gave a lot of their money to him.

    • @CarlosRamirez-wb7zu
      @CarlosRamirez-wb7zu 6 місяців тому +18

      I feel sorry for all the judges at his trials.
      "Oder in the court!"

    • @bob456fk6
      @bob456fk6 6 місяців тому +2

      That was on the verge of being tacky.
      Even Stephen didn't want to extend that story. @@IAmJustR

    • @susanfarley1332
      @susanfarley1332 6 місяців тому +12

      Must be the stench making them tear up.

  • @nicholasstocker8864
    @nicholasstocker8864 6 місяців тому +157

    My message to Nikki: The government’s rights to do what exactly? 🤨

  • @brentperez4700
    @brentperez4700 6 місяців тому +6

    “Talks like he just hit himself in the head” LOL, literally choked on my lunch.😂

  • @annemarie1507
    @annemarie1507 6 місяців тому +35

    I can't stop thinking about people coming up to tRump and saying, "Sir, how do you put on your pants in the morning."
    And the more I think about it, the more it sounds like a reasonable question. I mean, here's a guy who can't drink a glass of water with one hand or negotiate his way down stairs or a ramp without assistance or deliver a speech without going off on wild incoherent tangents.
    So, in light of all that, it is reasonable to wonder how the heck he manages to get his pants on in the morning.

    • @KB-ld6ql
      @KB-ld6ql 6 місяців тому +1

      Trouble is they're full from day before.
      Diaper Don
      (aka Don Von ShitHisPants)

  • @ChandlerSomborac
    @ChandlerSomborac 6 місяців тому +2587

    The fact that *anyone* could listen to Trump speak for just *one* minute, and *still* choose to support him is disturbing, embarrassing and alarming.

    • @onnovanknotsenburg1177
      @onnovanknotsenburg1177 6 місяців тому +125

      You might be underestimating how stupid some people are.

    • @Thunderer0872
      @Thunderer0872 6 місяців тому +18

      Indeed, although I think its like the Beatles at Shae Stadium where there are happy to be there but aren't listening to what he has to say? or they have been to so many they can lip sync to his speeches?

    • @beanzieobeanz2955
      @beanzieobeanz2955 6 місяців тому

      that's exactly who you are 'murica

    • @ariaafshar4212
      @ariaafshar4212 6 місяців тому +49

      Vote and encourage everyone you know to vote blue as well.

    • @handyvickers
      @handyvickers 6 місяців тому +40

      Yeah! And for the rest of the world looking on??? Really alarming!!!

  • @fionahoey6922
    @fionahoey6922 6 місяців тому +74

    As soon as Trump says Sir, you know a load of rubbish is coming out next!!😂😅

    • @kingjamos2422
      @kingjamos2422 6 місяців тому +12

      Not true. We know rubbish is coming out as soon as we see him.

    • @Lynne4897
      @Lynne4897 6 місяців тому

      😂😂😂😂

  • @TheMonroemomma
    @TheMonroemomma 6 місяців тому +15

    OMG, the audience must be sleepy, because this whole monologue is FIRE!! I'm breathless from laughing!!

  • @winniecross4579
    @winniecross4579 6 місяців тому +11

    Your writers just clinched an Emmy! I've watched it twice and nearly expired both times during John Denver . . . woops there goes my phone! ❤❣❣

  • @leannevandekew1996
    @leannevandekew1996 6 місяців тому +280

    Trump told his doctor,: ‘Every day I wake up, I look in the mirror, I want to throw up. What’s wrong with me?’ The doctor replied: "I don’t know, but your eyesight is perfect.

    • @rainydaylady6596
      @rainydaylady6596 6 місяців тому +9

      😂🤣😂🖖

    • @warrenkelly7720
      @warrenkelly7720 6 місяців тому +6

      😅😅😅😅😅😅😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @handyvickers
      @handyvickers 6 місяців тому +5

      Very very funny, Leanne... Top of the class! 😂😂😂

    • @johnryan8859
      @johnryan8859 6 місяців тому +2

      Simple but right up there with the best ever. 😂

    • @brucearnold6053
      @brucearnold6053 6 місяців тому +2

      It's funny 'cause it's true

  • @Laura-qn2nf
    @Laura-qn2nf 6 місяців тому +87

    In 2007 AP US History it was drilled into us that the ‘most correct’ answer to “what was the main cause of the civil war” was “states rights”. We were told slavery was just one of the economic dispute components. This was not just the teacher saying this, it was the actual only correct answer on the exam. I live in NYC. There were 34 kids in my class. I feel like someone somewhere owes us all an apology for forcing us to answer that question that way. I’m still mad about it.

    • @theresas14
      @theresas14 6 місяців тому +8

      That's what I was taught in the 80s too so

    • @al_lahn4264
      @al_lahn4264 6 місяців тому +26

      It's because of a long period of historical revisionism instigated first by former confederates, then their descendents.

    • @tomfields3682
      @tomfields3682 6 місяців тому +6

      Lemme guess: Your teacher was born and raised in the South.

    • @gballsout
      @gballsout 6 місяців тому

      no, it was in the texts of history books in hs.
      @@tomfields3682

    • @JR-pr8jb
      @JR-pr8jb 6 місяців тому +1

      Yeah, I went to 1950's FL and NC schools. Seems the war was waged by nasty northern capitalists against sweet Christian southerners who made loving plantation homes for their grateful Negro brethren. That's today's MAGA/GOP.

  • @dsr0116
    @dsr0116 6 місяців тому +11

    What Nikki really meant about growing up and being governor in SC: you learn about the lost cause and how there's still plenty of apologists.

  • @KealohaHarrison
    @KealohaHarrison 6 місяців тому +142

    2:50 you’d think he would’ve gone for a much younger, hotter war
    Man it’s been such a long break, glad to see you and the crew back Stephen!

    • @OurPredicament
      @OurPredicament 6 місяців тому +4

      guy just stands up there and says hes attracted to the civil war because of how horrible it was and that he wants to see it. and everybody just shrugs 2:40

    • @NinjaHampster117
      @NinjaHampster117 6 місяців тому +2

      Speaking of younger and hotter...... who is Donald Trump sleeping with because we know it ain't Melania.

    • @NoThatRyan
      @NoThatRyan 6 місяців тому +4

      ​@@NinjaHampster117he's running around withis lady who calls herself a lawyer, but as far as I can tell has never won a case. Like, like a lot of running around.

    • @SayAhh
      @SayAhh 6 місяців тому +1

      Nah. Pretty hot and humid in Vietnam but he passed

    • @jpdemer5
      @jpdemer5 6 місяців тому +1

      It's pretty obvious that he Civil War was his type.

  • @melissasaint3283
    @melissasaint3283 6 місяців тому +109

    That he thinks it "could have been negotiated" tells you right there, he knows none of the history that leads up to the Civil War. It was being negotiated for years and years and years.

    • @sheilaboston7051
      @sheilaboston7051 6 місяців тому +15

      He knows as much about the Civil War as he knows about the Bible.

    • @JustFlemishMe
      @JustFlemishMe 6 місяців тому +8

      Hell, slavery was WHY it couldn't be negotiated. There were other issues, but political issues can be talked over. Slavery, however, made the whole thing a moral crusade for abolitionists, and protecting a way of life for the plantation owners. Have fun negotiating that.

    • @kellygreen2812
      @kellygreen2812 6 місяців тому +5

      @sheilaboston7051 and he'll say that he can't tell you his "favorite part" of it (Civil War) because it's so "private"...but yet he's "attracted" to it...his wife probably knows more about it than he does. 🙄

    • @melissasaint3283
      @melissasaint3283 6 місяців тому +3

      @@kellygreen2812 She had to pass the citizenship test, so I imagine she probably does!

    • @jimslancio
      @jimslancio 6 місяців тому

      The art of the deal, right?

  • @BananaJoseph
    @BananaJoseph 6 місяців тому +57

    Wow. I am German and even I know the cause of the American civil war. I know it since my very early teen years. I've learned it in school. In history class. In Germany. It's absolutely stunning that she did not know this. Unreal. Completely disqualified for the job in my book.

    • @gballsout
      @gballsout 6 місяців тому +15

      actually the way I see it was she was not trying to say "slavery" and lose the Southern states but also not say state's rights and lose everyone else. She just couldn't come up with something smart on her heels.

    • @rathersane
      @rathersane 6 місяців тому +22

      She knew. She was pandering to a political base that considers this to be an uncomfortable fact to be avoided and/or denied.

    • @zoemcgonegal7734
      @zoemcgonegal7734 6 місяців тому +16

      Oh she knows. She is very disingenuous and will say anything to try to make despicable people like her

    • @janisryan8684
      @janisryan8684 6 місяців тому +13

      She knew the answer. But Republicans don't say that word

    • @amazinggrace5692
      @amazinggrace5692 6 місяців тому +6

      She knows alright. She didn’t want to say it.

  • @colechapman6976
    @colechapman6976 6 місяців тому +210

    It's nuts that she fumbled on the easiest question imaginable. It really takes a special talent to mess up this bad on a question so easy. Trump really lowers the IQ of everyone who encounters him

    • @snowgyre
      @snowgyre 6 місяців тому

      She knows her base. Her base wants the answer to be 'state rights' while ignoring that the primary 'right' they're talking about is owning slaves. It's revisionist history, look up "The Lost Cause" to learn more. I live in the South, this was definitely a loaded question for her. No matter how she answered, she was going to lose voters. But she knows she's trying to get Trump voters, so she had to lie. I'm not endorsing her at all (or Confederate apologists and revisionists), but after living here I knew exactly what she was trying to do.

    • @cleatusbarncoat8642
      @cleatusbarncoat8642 6 місяців тому

      Haley’s “spell potato” question. What a colossal dope. I almost feel sorry for all the dim-witted GOP voters who have such idiots as candidates. Not sorry.

    • @havable
      @havable 6 місяців тому +9

      She'd lose the pro-Russia vote if she answered honestly.

    • @youtubename7819
      @youtubename7819 6 місяців тому +14

      It’s weird that she backed down and said slavery.
      Every Republican I’ve ever known has insisted it was about states rights.
      I don’t get why she backtracked. Republicans will just hate her for it.

    • @colechapman6976
      @colechapman6976 6 місяців тому +11

      Her response was that of a typical politician. She couldn't give a straightforward answer to a question so easy to not mess up on. She said it was over what they could or couldn't do, mainly the freedoms they fought over were about slavery. For the Southern states, it was about whether or not they could have the freedom to own black people. For the North, it was to say they couldn't own slaves. It would have been a decent answer had she said it like that, but the fact she didn't even mention slavery at all in her response shows a lack of care and education on the topic.
      I do suppose though that this is the same person who comes from a party that wants to teach kids that slaves actually benefited from slavery because they developed skills so I suppose it was a great response in her mind

  • @souhilabouchareb9386
    @souhilabouchareb9386 6 місяців тому +197

    Welcome back to Stephen Colbert and the writers, I (we) missed you a lot. Hopefully 2024 will be a great year and will end well, especially for you with the presidential election in November. Already laughing, that's a good start. Merci. 🇫🇷💙🇺🇲

    • @victorarredondo304
      @victorarredondo304 6 місяців тому

      There's no way you're voting democrat at it's current disastrous state of the country

    • @Dan-Simms
      @Dan-Simms 6 місяців тому +21

      ​@@victorarredondo304Um...I think we all should be voting for democracy. But I'd go with Democrats b/c Trump would be the end of democracy.

    • @reedusurrights2547
      @reedusurrights2547 6 місяців тому

      @@victorarredondo304the current president isn’t at fault for the state of country it’s the one before and has historically been like that since forever, like how after bush left office Obamas first four were hard AF, but his second?? Easy AF and the country ran smoothly until he handed it off but under trump he just let it all fall apart and then now that Bidens picking up the mess y’all trumpers go “see” and think it’s his fault like a bunch of head dented fools

    • @beccam7249
      @beccam7249 6 місяців тому

      How exactly is the country a disaster compared to 4 years ago? Inflation is down, unemployment is low all while avoiding a recession, and we’ve come out of the pandemic. Yes there’s still lots of suffering in the country that needs to be improved, but do you really think the republicans are going to do it? They’re only focused on petty revenge politics and stunts. Not actual policy. And if you’re referring to the crisis in Gaza, trump supports Gaza even less than Biden (and don’t EVEN get me started on Russia)

    • @47f0
      @47f0 6 місяців тому +7

      ​@@victorarredondo304- Yeah, it's pretty disastrous that we've had 22 straight months of job growth, 4.2% year-over-year increase in wages, a record-breaking stock market, and Morgan Stanley increasing their GDP projections by 400%, attributing it to "Bidenomics".
      It's also pretty disastrous that we are recovering from global inflation faster than any other OECD nation, and lowering fuel prices faster than any other OECD nation.
      And the disasters keep rolling - we are pulling crucial chip technology back into the United States from China where it never belonged, and beginning to invest in long overdue infrastructure.
      In the meantime diabetics are paying less for insulin, and somehow, sleepy Joe, still keeps managing to outthink Republican leadership in congress.
      Pretty disastrous indeed, if you're a Kremlin bot...

  • @223Drone
    @223Drone 6 місяців тому +96

    The "state rights" in question was to own slaves to say otherwise is willful ignorance.

    • @ericaschner3283
      @ericaschner3283 6 місяців тому +8

      Yup. Any time anyone pulls out that States Rights BS the _only_ follow up question should be "the States' Rights to do what?"

    • @nathanbopp6163
      @nathanbopp6163 6 місяців тому

      Federal government shouldn't decide if we have the right to own slaves or have abortions. They're there to decide if states have the right to disqualify invalid candidates

    • @dfuher968
      @dfuher968 6 місяців тому +5

      Plus, ask them to read the articles of secession. They friggin wrote it for all to read! Well, those who can read.

    • @judithgannon5642
      @judithgannon5642 6 місяців тому

      She was right, but omitted the second part of your remark

    • @SoManyRandomRamblings
      @SoManyRandomRamblings 6 місяців тому

      ​@@judithgannon5642 ah, yes, so when your partner tells you they didn't cheat on you.....but leaves out the 2nd part that revealed they only meant, in the last 2 hours. ....so you say you don't care that they left the real information out of the answer. 🤔

  • @raipa111
    @raipa111 6 місяців тому +9

    I cannot give this segment enough likes. It's brilliant. 😂

  • @reverendgaddy2435
    @reverendgaddy2435 6 місяців тому +3

    "Deliver his own grandchildren"
    I am absolutely speechless. I just can't even...

  • @johnkochen7264
    @johnkochen7264 6 місяців тому +344

    Two things I love:
    1) Drumpf starting a sentence with “To be honest with you..” so you know that he is about to lie (again).
    2) Drumpf saying he read something the other day when you know he can’t read.

    • @donchristie420
      @donchristie420 6 місяців тому +18

      Oh, and SIR( said no one ever)

    • @user-uy9gd7xh7t
      @user-uy9gd7xh7t 6 місяців тому +8

      correct 😂

    • @yolieswitzer9466
      @yolieswitzer9466 6 місяців тому +12

      Challenging him to a spelling bee might be fun, considering his limited vocabulary 😄

    • @Chelseageezer34
      @Chelseageezer34 6 місяців тому

      Trump is going to win by the biggest landslide in American history! Watch 💪

    • @priscillamoore5736
      @priscillamoore5736 6 місяців тому

      @johnkochen7264 - Don't forget that (always unnamed) man who came up to t#### recently with tears in his eyes, thanking t#### for being the *VERY BEST* president, who hugs t####, embarrassing him, but "whatcha' going to do?" about (whatever subject t#### is talking about)...

  • @NewMessage
    @NewMessage 6 місяців тому +151

    I, for one, 100% believe that Donnie at least *tried* to deliver Ivanka's kid. If only to finally get a good look at his daughter's nethers.

    • @Blvigil
      @Blvigil 6 місяців тому +23

      He was anxious to see if it was his.

    • @NinjaHampster117
      @NinjaHampster117 6 місяців тому +14

      ...... finally?

    • @user-zb9lv3gh8s
      @user-zb9lv3gh8s 6 місяців тому +11

      I laughed... and then wished I hadn't.

    • @stealthattack2209
      @stealthattack2209 6 місяців тому +1

      Dudy you have a sick mind

    • @AccidentalNinja
      @AccidentalNinja 6 місяців тому +7

      I both commend your coming up with it but also am deeply disgusted by it.

  • @roguedogx
    @roguedogx 6 місяців тому +10

    10:20 well there is a saying in the aviation industry "there are no small failures at 30,000 feet"
    also, as some who had a stint in R&D in aviation, that's like 8 layers of nightmares. In order to get to that level of failures, literally no one involved with the project is doing their jobs, and the Execs are clearly making choices that should probably land them in prison for the rest of their lives.

  • @bryanroeback9260
    @bryanroeback9260 6 місяців тому +3

    This is one of the funniest monologue this show has ever produced!

  • @travisolander4749
    @travisolander4749 6 місяців тому +934

    I used to think about how gaff-prone and stupid George Bush seemed. Donald Trump has retroactively made Bush look like a political genius.

    • @lissaquon607
      @lissaquon607 6 місяців тому +26

      Yea it's sad when I start waxing nostalgic about his speeches.

    • @chenzen1578
      @chenzen1578 6 місяців тому

      no it doesn't, at least not in my book. Bush was a stupid conservative moron.
      Trump is a grifter and a fraud with no other values than me, myself and mine.

    • @kenchristie9214
      @kenchristie9214 6 місяців тому +18

      Compared to Diaper Donnie, Lloyd Christmas and Harry Dunn are geniuses.

    • @vincentbaca790
      @vincentbaca790 6 місяців тому +2

      And Biden makes dementia fashionable...

    • @hobotony
      @hobotony 6 місяців тому +20

      I'd take Bush again any day thanks to the orange one.

  • @amherst88
    @amherst88 6 місяців тому +199

    I realize he's a walking laughing stock but I'm still sorry we're subjected to any kind of exposure to this person-who-defies-description.

    • @benwasserman8223
      @benwasserman8223 6 місяців тому +13

      I went to film school. I guarantee any description of Trump’s character in a screenplay would be rejected as beyond 2 dimensional. Even for Saturday morning cartoon villain-level badness.

    • @mwil1323
      @mwil1323 6 місяців тому +9

      No kidding! It would be funny if he weren’t an ex- President, and running again. I much preferred it when he was just some joke on TV once in a while.

    • @terredee
      @terredee 6 місяців тому +5

      We’re being subjected to being exposed to he-who-shall-not-be-named.

    • @coleengoodell7523
      @coleengoodell7523 6 місяців тому +3

      I feel the same. I can't even stand to look at him, much less hear him rambling on. "The rambling fool will be thrown down" Proverbs.

    • @thejuiceking2219
      @thejuiceking2219 6 місяців тому +1

      i mean that's part of the problem, we hate trump but we're also addicted to him and what he says and does, he's like crack
      media can't get enough of him, he sells to fans and non-fans alike

  • @jdmrc93
    @jdmrc93 6 місяців тому +6

    Regarding the 737, the "Loose Bolts on the Door Plugs" were the same incident. It wasn't a window that blew out, it was a door plug. The announcement of loose bolts only came after this incident and inspections were occurring.

    • @KB-ld6ql
      @KB-ld6ql 6 місяців тому

      Well that plus an apology makes it a better now don't it???

  • @moonmode3232
    @moonmode3232 6 місяців тому +560

    Now I totally believe trump was a terrible student. He jumped on Nikki’s gaff, because he learned the right answer, trying to appear smart. Then he kept talking and that’s when I knew he completely botched every exam question that required anything more than a one word answer. That’s why he threatened to sue his former school if his transcripts got out.

    • @dianedenham5259
      @dianedenham5259 6 місяців тому +55

      Considering his sister did his homework and he had stand-ins to do his tests, it's pretty pathetic that he still had lousy grades. 😆

    • @timf162
      @timf162 6 місяців тому +40

      One word answer? One SYLLABLE answer! Guy has the lexicon of a 4th grader.

    • @garfield2439
      @garfield2439 6 місяців тому +11

      Exactly

    • @adambrown5894
      @adambrown5894 6 місяців тому +32

      He aced his cognitive test:
      "…And you go: 'Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV.'"

    • @zesty9815
      @zesty9815 6 місяців тому +55

      _“Donald Trump was the_ dumbest goddam _student I_ ever _had.”_
      -- Trump's Wharton professor, Professor William T. Kelley.
      Dr. Kelley often referred to Trump’s arrogance when he told of this - that Trump came to Wharton thinking he already knew everything.

  • @tystratton-quirk9859
    @tystratton-quirk9859 6 місяців тому +2

    Longtime John Denver fan here; just wanted to thank you for giving him some screentime.

  • @createwithpete494
    @createwithpete494 6 місяців тому +33

    " I had Black friends. " WOW!!!😮

    • @disastermaster1413
      @disastermaster1413 6 місяців тому +7

      Now she has black enemies

    • @IAmJustR
      @IAmJustR 6 місяців тому +1

      right. great job Nimrata🤦🏽‍♀️

  • @nannerz1994
    @nannerz1994 6 місяців тому +467

    My dad is the most conservative guy I know and even he will tell you that the civil war was over slavery how disgusting

    • @SShadowalker
      @SShadowalker 6 місяців тому +25

      But is he going to vote for trump?

    • @anzaca1
      @anzaca1 6 місяців тому +25

      All the states that seceded said it was over slavery.

    • @stephenkennedy8305
      @stephenkennedy8305 6 місяців тому +25

      Try living in the south. It is common to be told It was about states rights.

    • @mr.joshua6818
      @mr.joshua6818 6 місяців тому

      It started because some people decided the wrong guy won an election and threw a fit. But Slavery and States Rights basically.

    • @stephenkennedy8305
      @stephenkennedy8305 6 місяців тому +8

      ​@@anzaca1actually only 4 states out of 11 directly includes slavery in their articles of secession.

  • @manLiMarth
    @manLiMarth 6 місяців тому +2

    Did Stephen get new writers? I’ve legitimately laughed more the last couple weeks than I did most of 2023. My manager, John Wilkes Booth was hilarious

  • @TenaciousSLG
    @TenaciousSLG 6 місяців тому +2

    As an Iowan, mentioning how much we love our Butter Cow was a missed opportunity lol

  • @cowtownokla
    @cowtownokla 6 місяців тому +357

    Trumpler is absolutely exhausting. He can't go to jail soon enough.

    • @chenzen1578
      @chenzen1578 6 місяців тому

      This Goliath won't be brought down by one stone.
      He will fight for himself with the last drop of blood and not shy away to - if elected - run the country into the ground from prison instead of the WH.
      That is what's at stake here, god help us help ourself and vote blue.

    • @vincentbaca790
      @vincentbaca790 6 місяців тому

      Biden is exhausted...soon he will surrender because he can't get out of his basement...it's time you leftists get behind Newsom before its too late..

    • @roxaskinghearts
      @roxaskinghearts 6 місяців тому +1

      Beta the male who do anything for women even sell your own self respect
      Sigma the collage educated biden supporters who day and night outclass these tump supporters
      Alpha the influencer bro trump supporter with 0 family values proven by where they send their problem vs solve

    • @thomasbecker9676
      @thomasbecker9676 6 місяців тому +6

      Eh, I'm betting on a massive coronary.

    • @aubrey1633
      @aubrey1633 6 місяців тому

      March is just around the corner. He should be locked up by April.

  • @bonniedorset4793
    @bonniedorset4793 6 місяців тому +106

    I am tired of the ageism. Today I am 79 1/2. I am fit and mentally competent. Biden is too. Can't say the same about Trump.

    • @leifharmsen
      @leifharmsen 6 місяців тому +6

      The risk of something catastrophic happening with your mental or physical health goes exponential at your age. That is not prejudice, that's fact. With hundreds of millions of people to choose from, it would be more responsible and much better strategy to leave jobs like President to younger, more inherently reliable, working age people. We're all getting older, none of us are exempt.

    • @havable
      @havable 6 місяців тому +2

      @@leifharmsen Dubya was younger than Biden but was incompetent. Obama was younger but a complete coward. Age doesn't mean shit. FDR was "too old" under your rhetoric but was also the best potus in history.

    • @user-qu2ov9fp9t
      @user-qu2ov9fp9t 6 місяців тому

      The fact you think Biden is mentally fit shows how unfit you are mentally.

    • @laranadesign4764
      @laranadesign4764 6 місяців тому +9

      Agreed. My grandmother was still mentally sharp at 86 and running the register in my dad's shop. Younger employees struggled at her job when she retired. She remembered names of customers and I struggle with that at 40. Elect based on the individual, not the age group they are in. The job is only for a few years, unlike the Supreme Court. Trump is a moron at every stage of development.

    • @hb4196
      @hb4196 6 місяців тому +3

      @@havable FDR was too old and not physically fit; disabled with polio, in a wheelchair. But he was a great president.

  • @debraderoos5225
    @debraderoos5225 6 місяців тому +2

    This was one of the funniest Late Show episodes. I couldn't stop laughing.

  • @sandralynnsparks3468
    @sandralynnsparks3468 6 місяців тому +4

    This monologue is a classic already

  • @TM-hl7ir
    @TM-hl7ir 6 місяців тому +75

    Weeknights have been so boring Yes! Glad Colbert is back! 😂

    • @goblinwisdom
      @goblinwisdom 6 місяців тому +2

      My morning pick me up in Europe.

  • @Fourtondragon
    @Fourtondragon 6 місяців тому +231

    Notice, Trump said he’s only “seen” Civil War, meaning he equates “studying the civil war” with watching movies about it.

    • @joycedavis9996
      @joycedavis9996 6 місяців тому +10

      thanks for that explanation. i was confused that tRumpus actually read a book…

    • @retriever19golden55
      @retriever19golden55 6 місяців тому +2

      He's probably seen Gods and Generals several times. 🤮

    • @applerunner1184
      @applerunner1184 6 місяців тому +4

      Well, he definitely didn’t read about it and I doubt he watched a whole movie or documentary. Notice that he didn’t say anything substantive about it - other than he alone could have “fixed it”!

    • @hopsiepike
      @hopsiepike 6 місяців тому +1

      @@joycedavis9996 He is dyslexic and can only read from a teleprompter when words are spelled out PHONE ET ICK LY.

    • @Ikajo
      @Ikajo 6 місяців тому +2

      He mistook Captain America Civil War for the American civil war (/s). Iron Man and Cap could have talked things out.

  • @cheleshows
    @cheleshows 6 місяців тому +2

    It would be hysterical if at one of those freaking ralles, while he's pausing for air someone yelled "WHAT THE EFF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?????"

  • @theunforgettablefox5165
    @theunforgettablefox5165 6 місяців тому +1

    As an Iowan I will say that Stephen is completely correct on the three things we love the most.

  • @Terastas
    @Terastas 6 місяців тому +53

    Haley had trouble with a question about history because she's always on the wrong side of it.

  • @johnhammond9962
    @johnhammond9962 6 місяців тому +26

    "If the Civil War was younger, perhaps I'd be dating it."

  • @SherryEllesson
    @SherryEllesson 6 місяців тому +1

    Loved the reference to the Spikey Cantaroo (the fish w/the barbs....yeah, that one.) ...and the part about delivering a child? I figured maybe he had a reciprocal agreement - someone else brings him McFatburgers and he takes them the kids in trade for extra fries.

  • @anthonyrobison9750
    @anthonyrobison9750 6 місяців тому

    Good job to all those who worked on this episode. Had me laughing my ASS off. Thank you.

  • @NewMessage
    @NewMessage 6 місяців тому +42

    "Hayley has since tried to walk back her comments... really poorly."
    Consistent, I guess.

  • @kp0121
    @kp0121 6 місяців тому +5

    Halie is asked about the Civil War and immediately turns her back...look away dixieland 🎶

  • @iniyariradio5829
    @iniyariradio5829 6 місяців тому +1

    Stephen: I really appreciate when you warn us that "everyone's fine".

  • @allenklingsporn6993
    @allenklingsporn6993 6 місяців тому +6

    She didn't forget. She knows that most South Carolinians really believe that state's rights were separate from slaver, and she's right that they're really taught that from a very young age. Welcome to the Southern United States. I've lived here for a decade, taken local friends to see the original declarations of war, and showed them where the issue of Slavery is #1 in nearly every single declaration. The failure to acknowledge their history is incredible.

    • @ellenfisher5750
      @ellenfisher5750 6 місяців тому +1

      In the late 1990s, had a professor who was born and raised in central Arkansas. She told our (Wisconsin) class that the Civil War was primarily about states' rights - " you Northerners don't get it that you just don't tell a Southerner what to do.". She did acknowledge that slavery was part of the problem.

    • @KB-ld6ql
      @KB-ld6ql 6 місяців тому

      Oh ok. Such a bunch of wordy words around SLAVERY. lmao

  • @Andybiotics
    @Andybiotics 6 місяців тому +40

    Even I, an Asian living in New Zealand, who has hardly anything to do with merica, knows immediately that the civil war was initiated because of slavery...

    • @patlynch6517
      @patlynch6517 6 місяців тому

      Say hello to New Zealand

    • @cherylwilkinson3228
      @cherylwilkinson3228 6 місяців тому

      She knows slavery was the cause of the Civil War. She just doesn't want to offend the white supremacists in the republican party by saying it in public.

  • @davidsciascia4654
    @davidsciascia4654 6 місяців тому +8

    Sir, sir, (tears in my eyes) how do you find time to study the Civil War, when you're so busy studying missile defence systems, delivering your grandchildren and still manage to put your pants on in the morning. How? How??

  • @caspianblue4141
    @caspianblue4141 6 місяців тому +1

    This was spectacularly funny, especially the end! 😂🤣

  • @rca-in-glasgow6781
    @rca-in-glasgow6781 6 місяців тому

    Ok that was a rare one. Thank you Steven and crew!❤️

  • @OpinionsAreNotFacts
    @OpinionsAreNotFacts 6 місяців тому +49

    Peace from Austria Y'all. Can't believe I hit the comments this early. Am an American Citizen, we must do better. Here in Austria/Europe we are terrified that tr*mp may win. Ukraine goes to Russia, then Latvia, Hell throw Poland in & we're screwed over here. We're upping our military, Germany, who won't even allow nuclear powerplants, is thinking about upping their military power. SCARY. Peace

    • @o.b.7217
      @o.b.7217 6 місяців тому +2

      I don't see how the Germans "not allowing nuclear power plants" connects to the rest of your post..?

    • @OpinionsAreNotFacts
      @OpinionsAreNotFacts 6 місяців тому

      Because after WW2 Germany not only paid massive reparations, they also swore to give up any nuclear warheads they may have, as well as not building any power plants that could be used as a cover to import weapons grade uranium to make nuclear warheads. Remember the "reason" we went into Iraq after 9/11? The fact that Europe is making drastic military plans is terrifying. The entire EU with NATO Countries is a formidable force, but without the US's help (which begs the ? what if NATO is called in to do it's duty) a war to keep Russia out would be catostrophic, especially if China were to side with Russia, actively. Thank you 4 the ? tho, I should have clarified. Also, just FYI, there are a lot of tr"mp supporters here in Europe. Peace

  • @laalaa99stl
    @laalaa99stl 6 місяців тому +29

    "I'm a misogynist. I like the massage." 😆

  • @UncommonEyes
    @UncommonEyes 6 місяців тому +1

    How could we keep our minds without guys like you at a time like this. Truman was prez when I was born.

  • @CloudsGirl7
    @CloudsGirl7 6 місяців тому +2

    "...they say ... 'How do you wake up in the morning and put on your pants?'"
    Yeah, I can believe that, actually. In the same sense as the "you'd be amazed at how a human can survive without the frontal lobe" line from the first Five Nights At Freddy's game.

  • @michaeldebellis4202
    @michaeldebellis4202 6 місяців тому +119

    It’s ironic, when I was in grade school, Haley’s answer is what they taught us in school (in the 60’s). That the Civil War was about States Rights not slavery. I remember it was one of the things that started me second guessing what I was taught in school because even in elementary school that seemed like BS to me.

    • @LadyDoomsinger
      @LadyDoomsinger 6 місяців тому +28

      To quote Doobus Goobus:
      "State's rights to do what???"

    • @demondogmom7221
      @demondogmom7221 6 місяців тому +7

      I was at least taught that slavery was the major reason for the Civil War. These people are really poorly educated.

    • @judithgannon5642
      @judithgannon5642 6 місяців тому +4

      But the States right to decide for slavery was the point. She was right in her answer, for a Southern bred individual. She paused and knew the political plus answer but couldn't get herself to say it.

    • @j10001
      @j10001 6 місяців тому +7

      The states already had the right to decide slavery. It was voted on in each new state in the decades leading up to the war, as any high-school history student knows. The abolitionists were very concerned about slavery spreading to the Territories as they joined the Union. So more technically, you’d have to say the Civil War was about a state’s _right to secede from the Union_ - to leave the federation they had joined less than 100 years before. South Carolina did secede, other southern states joined in; Lincoln wouldn’t accept it, and the result was civil war over secession vs forcing states to remain together. *Of course, it was slavery* and the abolitionist efforts that caused all the division between the states to begin with, and ultimately that is what the war was about; slavery was definitely the primary cause of the war, but it was also the cause of all the political conflict for almost 100 years. Why did war break out instead of more political maneuvering? Because the South insisted they had to right to just split off and handle things as their own nation; the North said, “No, states don’t have the right to just secede like that when they disagree.” That’s why it devolved into war specifically.
      EDIT: This was written as a reply to @judithgannon5642 but somehow the @ disappeared

    • @LadyDoomsinger
      @LadyDoomsinger 6 місяців тому +7

      @@j10001So... States rights to secede because they wanted to do slavery. Kind of feels like there's an unnecessary extra step in that explanation.

  • @jeangriffith8017
    @jeangriffith8017 6 місяців тому +61

    Love this show! It's like oxygen for my soul !

  • @lindaburnette675
    @lindaburnette675 6 місяців тому +1

    OH, THANK GOD COLBERT IS BACK!!!! ❤❤❤❤❤

  • @jjaa_joyjoyartist
    @jjaa_joyjoyartist 6 місяців тому

    The fish too! Why are the jokes actually good this time around oml😂
    Edit: DOLPHIN NOO 😂😂😭😭

  • @casbot71
    @casbot71 6 місяців тому +192

    *The approved Republican answer for what caused the Civil War:* 'those people' getting uppity...

    • @disastermaster1413
      @disastermaster1413 6 місяців тому +5

      Seeing Lincoln was a republican

    • @LifenaDay525
      @LifenaDay525 6 місяців тому +7

      I’m surprised she didn’t respond “because someone wanted to tear down a statue”.

    • @DSAK55
      @DSAK55 6 місяців тому +7

      @@disastermaster1413 Lincoln was a RINO 😁

    • @CarlosRamirez-wb7zu
      @CarlosRamirez-wb7zu 6 місяців тому +10

      They literally say out loud, "If we knew how much trouble they would have been, we'd have picked our own darn cotton!"
      Except they won't mow their own darn lawns to stop the southern "invasion ."

    • @user-zb9lv3gh8s
      @user-zb9lv3gh8s 6 місяців тому +19

      ​@@disastermaster1413back then the Republicans were a very progressive party and the democrats- especially the southern Democrats were the conservatives. So saying Lincoln was a republican really doesn't mean much

  • @JG-vq6rd
    @JG-vq6rd 6 місяців тому +25

    The best joke was when trump said he was studying.

  • @TheJudiBambiPurrsParadox
    @TheJudiBambiPurrsParadox 6 місяців тому +2

    *Anyone notice in that horrific video that it says, "...he puts in 40 hours by noon Tuesday, then puts in another 72 hours..."? That's not even scientifically possible! So he spends only 56 hours a week for eating, sleeping, living life and all the rest working, huh? He spends 56 hours a week golfing and grifting!*

    • @yes0r787
      @yes0r787 6 місяців тому

      Trump spends 24/7 grifting. It's his thing.

  • @Lesterluwu
    @Lesterluwu 6 місяців тому +1

    Oh, Stephen, you have been missed. Please keep doing what you're doing.... we need you now more than ever!!! xoxo

  • @katbh
    @katbh 6 місяців тому +17

    Colbert: you have to pander to the three things Iowans love the most...
    Me (an Iowan): hey now...
    Colbert: corn, Jesus, and Corn Jesus.
    Me: honestly, we deserved that. 10/10

  • @larryborsa4396
    @larryborsa4396 6 місяців тому +651

    The fact that Trump has a snowball's chance in hell doesn't say much about the so called minds of millions of Americans. They keep telling us how exceptional they are, but I didn't realize it was about being ignorant.

    • @scottyb4260
      @scottyb4260 6 місяців тому +14

      What does it say that's its not a snowballs chance in hell, but more like even?

    • @teresathayn5170
      @teresathayn5170 6 місяців тому

      The 2022 polls lied just like they're doing now!

    • @sprig5173
      @sprig5173 6 місяців тому

      They're exceptionally bad at voting. Farbtoo many just don't bother to vote at all.

    • @amp7980
      @amp7980 6 місяців тому

      I have family that is completely convinced trump did nothing wrong and it's a huge conspiracy against him and the election was stolen from him. Considering trump has made himself the enemy of almost everyone it's easy to just dismiss everything against him as just them trying to take him down.

    • @Rhiannon011
      @Rhiannon011 6 місяців тому +24

      "Exceptionally ignorant"..

  • @scooterbaby1
    @scooterbaby1 6 місяців тому +1

    John Denver and Momma Cass, hilarious

  • @jonathanmccarthy2903
    @jonathanmccarthy2903 6 місяців тому +1

    As terrifying as the prospect of another 4 years of trump is at least we'll have 4 years of these comedy gold nuggets. I mean the magnet rant is just awesome. Everyone will remember where they were when trump raged at magnets😂😂

  • @vt2788
    @vt2788 6 місяців тому +90

    "she is a globalist, she likes to globe". Best line ever!

    • @LadyDoomsinger
      @LadyDoomsinger 6 місяців тому

      Every once in awhile the man says something so monumentally insane that I instinctively just have to assume it's a joke, but then he just keeps going and I realize that no, it's not a joke, he's just that dumb.

    • @laurence9695
      @laurence9695 6 місяців тому +2

      Coveve

    • @chonqmonk
      @chonqmonk 6 місяців тому

      @@laurence9695 Did you mean covfefe?

    • @terrancekayton007
      @terrancekayton007 6 місяців тому +5

      I thought the misogynist / massage line was better. 🤷🏿‍♂️

    • @vt2788
      @vt2788 6 місяців тому

      @@terrancekayton007 Yeah but Trup didn't say that

  • @Dan-Simms
    @Dan-Simms 6 місяців тому +34

    Glad to have the show back,
    Cheers Steven!

  • @MaxModded
    @MaxModded 6 місяців тому +1

    Bullseye with the "I'm a misogynist because I like a good massage" joke! 😂

  • @alexlandherr
    @alexlandherr 6 місяців тому

    At 4:43, “And myself am beholden to the triangle; the obtuse triangle, folks.”

  • @robkoper841
    @robkoper841 6 місяців тому +116

    Only Trump could see Haley fumble a simple question about the American Civil War, and say, "I can do a dumber take on the Civil War than that."

    • @jwsanders1214
      @jwsanders1214 6 місяців тому

      A simple man’s answer is the abomination of slavery . The more complex answer is States Rights .
      Each individual state retained the right to secede at it’s own discretion when it joined itself to the other 13 colonies.
      It’s like you decide to join a club because you like what it has to offer , but later you don’t want to be in the club anymore so you and some o your other friends let the club know you are quitting, but the club won’t let you quit , and try to force you to remain in the club , and you get pissed.
      States Rights is the cause of the Civil War

  • @sen-cher
    @sen-cher 6 місяців тому +55

    These leaders continue to show how incompetent and unknowledgeable they are and yet they continue to garner support. I dont understand how this happens

    • @Slo-ryde
      @Slo-ryde 6 місяців тому +6

      Having a failed public education system is a good start to this.

    • @thamiorakamir3780
      @thamiorakamir3780 6 місяців тому

      An outdated Electoral college, on top of limited and controlled nominations.

  • @vstarr77
    @vstarr77 6 місяців тому

    “I’m a misogynist,
    cuz I like a good massage”. 😂😂😂
    I🤣🤣🤣

  • @debbiemaclean8156
    @debbiemaclean8156 6 місяців тому +1

    Think l would be more worried for the poor bastard that has to Diaper Don, lmao, love ya Stephen, keep up the great work

  • @Nestor123057
    @Nestor123057 6 місяців тому +48

    What a gift to humanity. Make us laugh at ourselves, rather than cry.

    • @dancepiglover
      @dancepiglover 6 місяців тому

      I don’t know. My mom cried when we found out years ago that Trump was going to be our president. 😢

    • @petercolbeysgameshowmania7176
      @petercolbeysgameshowmania7176 6 місяців тому

      Who? Donald Trump or Stephen Colbert? (I hope you mean Stephen…)

  • @roundishcap
    @roundishcap 6 місяців тому +503

    As a religious guy, I respect humility more than wealth. This has made me really really dislike trump.

    • @HylianFox3
      @HylianFox3 6 місяців тому +44

      As a formerly religious guy, the open worship and adoration of Trump has made me question my faith.

    • @goblinwisdom
      @goblinwisdom 6 місяців тому

      Trump would have had Jesus removed from the temple for flipping the tables and taken money for giving him to the Romans.

    • @TheNzFox
      @TheNzFox 6 місяців тому +32

      but wealth IS a religion, modern christianity worship wealth every bit as much if not more than jesus and there is not clearer indication of this than in the US

    • @chonqmonk
      @chonqmonk 6 місяців тому

      @@TheNzFox But how can wealth BE religion when most priests join the clergy for children to molest, not for wealth? Religion is obviously more than merely wealth...

    • @Niklaos
      @Niklaos 6 місяців тому +3

      You sure are an atypical religious guy then 😅

  • @michaell.8938
    @michaell.8938 6 місяців тому +1

    "He was shucked for our sins."
    I had a mouthful of soda when he said that. I almost choked on it. ROFL 😅

  • @debbeleigh1930
    @debbeleigh1930 6 місяців тому

    Glad your back! Thanks for the laughs 💙

  • @SpaceForceCommander
    @SpaceForceCommander 6 місяців тому +167

    Trump’s “I alone can fix it” delusion extends to America’s past. And he would have negotiated on behalf of the Confederacy!

    • @applerunner1184
      @applerunner1184 6 місяців тому +2

      The art of the deal!

    • @CloudsGirl7
      @CloudsGirl7 6 місяців тому +4

      You're damn right he would've. 😨 He favors the bullies of the world.

    • @richardtheriault9121
      @richardtheriault9121 6 місяців тому +3

      But only with them staying in his hotel at 4 times the price.

    • @donabeth4561
      @donabeth4561 6 місяців тому +4

      That’s a given. Just like he would negotiate Ukraine away to Putin 🤦‍♀️

    • @lmiles8377
      @lmiles8377 6 місяців тому +1

      @@mohenn22smith27The art of the steal.

  • @keithomelvena2354
    @keithomelvena2354 6 місяців тому +508

    Every time Trump opens his mouth, brain cells within earshot jump off a cliff. How can the American public stand this nonsense?

    • @veronicastewart1112
      @veronicastewart1112 6 місяців тому +22

      Most of us can't.

    • @chenzen1578
      @chenzen1578 6 місяців тому

      his followers are brainwashed by life-long Hoax News propaganda. That's how. The rest of the USA is just disgusted. No one in his right mind is saying, "yeah, this is a smart, cunning, decent and experienced president, I'll vote for him"

    • @joycemansfield1108
      @joycemansfield1108 6 місяців тому +6

      Yup what she said.

    • @vincentbaca790
      @vincentbaca790 6 місяців тому

      Everytime Biden opens his mouth, an ice cream cone is shoved in..

    • @stephanegosselin2861
      @stephanegosselin2861 6 місяців тому +24

      @ianardo… president Biden speeches makes sense, Trump still speak like a baby who is learning to make sound, bong bong bing covfefe do da do da and still wear diapers!

  • @bradzoltick6465
    @bradzoltick6465 6 місяців тому +1

    Perfect humor. Wonderful.

  • @TheSuzberry
    @TheSuzberry 6 місяців тому +1

    Unlike other wars, the Civil War was horrible.

  • @johngulino2651
    @johngulino2651 6 місяців тому +38

    When Donnie Boy tells a story about people talking to him, the other people always say to him according to his quote, “Sir…” If, by highly improbable chance, I ever meet Donnie Boy…I won’t call him “sir.”

    • @SuzanneG1961
      @SuzanneG1961 6 місяців тому

      You're an a-hole, sir. What about that?

    • @kathleenr4047
      @kathleenr4047 6 місяців тому

      Think about it, the people who talk to him in person, like him. So they probably DO call him sir. In person, people also refer to him as Mr. President. And I'm sure he likes that and he feels like he's still the president. But that's what you do when you're in the presence of an actual former president. You can call him Mr. President. And the people who like him, do call him that.

    • @findthatvin3817
      @findthatvin3817 6 місяців тому +2

      They also always have tears running down their face

  • @charlenenowicki9671
    @charlenenowicki9671 6 місяців тому +7

    Every single time he says; " They said to me Sir ..." every word after Sir is a Lie. And that's just the tip of the iceberg, of course! LOL

  • @SussexSandra
    @SussexSandra 6 місяців тому +1

    I live in the UK and I knew the answer to what caused the Civil War. That’s scary that a potential USA presidential candidate didn’t know the answer to a level 1 history question.

    • @jacobisbell9388
      @jacobisbell9388 6 місяців тому

      She knew the answer, but you won't have a career as a Republican politician if you speak out against the confederacy, too many Republicans still support it.

  • @sparkythancztwise
    @sparkythancztwise 6 місяців тому

    really great monologue with so many particularly entertaining moments (they all are great, but some are a little extra)

  • @kimaaron3507
    @kimaaron3507 6 місяців тому +199

    Whoever wrote that Boeing dolphin joke deserves a raise.

  • @Leah_Newton
    @Leah_Newton 6 місяців тому +95

    How does an ambassador not know its country history? Hiring standards in America are now REALLY QUESTIONABLE. 😮

    • @intomnia3313
      @intomnia3313 6 місяців тому

      Pandering to her constituents. The south is another animal all together.

    • @goblinwisdom
      @goblinwisdom 6 місяців тому +12

      Yet a entry lvl job basically requires a college degree.

    • @lloydcollins6337
      @lloydcollins6337 6 місяців тому +10

      The US unfortunately hires ambassadors based on how much they donate to political parties rather than them being career civil servants who are trained in foreign relations or diplomacy or anything.

    • @Leah_Newton
      @Leah_Newton 6 місяців тому +5

      @@lloydcollins6337 OMG! They really need to make an episode on that topic on Last Week Tonight then!

    • @ArtificialArtist
      @ArtificialArtist 6 місяців тому +7

      Well, she was picked by the Stable Genius himself.. how is that a surprise to you? 🤷🏼

  • @marygoodson4920
    @marygoodson4920 6 місяців тому +4

    You knew Haley was lying and in trouble as soon asthe question was asked when she immediately took a big pause and turned away. It was THE EASIEST QUESTION, NIKKI! 😢😢😢😢

  • @takata98
    @takata98 6 місяців тому +1

    IO... IO! in 45's case he won't have to worry, he'll be singing a different version "I owe, I owe, it's of to jail I go!.