It’s amazing to hear that the content is helping things click for you. Understanding attachment styles can bring so much clarity. Thank you for your kind words!
Recently, I had a challenging split. The breakup of my five-year relationship a few months ago has been quite difficult. I still harbor a deep affection for my ex-boyfriend, and I can't seem to stop thinking about him. My attempts to win him back have been unsuccessful, and at this point, it seems impossible to be with anybody else. It may seem strange to admit this, but I miss him terribly and can't stop thinking about him.
I completely understand the pain of letting go of someone you love. I went through a similar experience when my 10 year relationship ended. I couldn't imagine my life without him, so I tried everything to rekindle our love. I eventually found guidance from a spiritual counselor, and their support helped me bring him back into my life if you're open to it, seeking help from a spiritual counselor might make a difference.
I just sought him up online thanks to your helpful information. remarkable I just checked Father Obah Eze online, and he's really genuine. Thank you again ❤
*PLEASE* add the title that keeps getting spammed in comments to the blocked words list 🙏 know it's technically extra engagement but it's almost as bad as all the negativity on videos about DAs for discouraging actual people who are truly interested in personal development from interacting ~ would be so lovely to *never* see that or advertisements for the one "spiritual advisor" again in the new year 💜
Such a great video! I would also add that they don't move too fast. If they say they live you very quickly or purpose marriage very early. They take time to get to know you and give you time to get to know them.
These four triggers are exactly what my recent ex girlfriend exhibited. I remember different incidents as she was explaining the symptoms of triggers. I love my ex girlfriend so deeply and at the same time I wondered what heck am I doing wrong. I always told her that I’m here for her every day every step It doesn’t seem to matter. She would make up incidents about me that never occurred. She acknowledged her issues from her childhood and wow she wasn’t wrong. I still wanted to be the man she count on. I have a feeling that I will never hear from her again. I take it one day at a time to build myself up. I do miss my love.
While I do have empathy for you, as an FA I can't help but not trust you if another FA didn't lol you had a pattern of behavior that was not 100% transparent. Maybe you didn't see it that way but some doubt was caused and not explained so that it made logical sense. Over explain and be really transparent, even if it may be hurtful.. we know the truth already
That’s such a heartfelt story. It’s clear you deeply cared for your ex and wanted to support her through her struggles. It’s not easy to let go, but focusing on rebuilding yourself one day at a time is such a strong and admirable approach. Wishing you healing and peace.
This makes a lot of sense. My FA friend has exhibited those traits in her relationships. Her most recent boyfriend (who appeared to be AP based on her description of his behaviors) got angry at her and went out with an ex of his. He allegedly even sent her a picture of them reading at a restaurant. 😮 I remember her telling me things like, "I can't trust him anymore" and kept her distance from him only for the relationship to eventually end. On another note, I also notice she has a hard time telling me things that bother her. Despite our decade-long friendship, she often doesn't say things outright. It's almost as if she's purposefully leaving gaps for me to fill, which is awkward because when we talked about taking things to a romantic level she essentially said she wanted more closeness and for me to open up more (something I don't do). She can be really confusing sometimes. All that said, I just bought your book as a Christmas gift for myself Thais! I can't wait to read it and see what I can learn from it (I'm not opening it until tomorrow). Merry Christmas everyone! ⛄🎁 🎄
as an FA who wants my DA partner to open up more it's been really strange to realise how much i actually tend to do things like leave gaps for them to fill in rather than outright saying stuff, lol, fwiw it's not consciously intentional (for me at least) maybe i got used to being more open when i was less invested & didn't notice how things shifted? 🤷 idk if your friend knows about attachment theory or it'd even really matter but fwiw pds (& especially DAs online who share their perspectives) has helped me appreciate ways my DA *does* open up & express their closeness a lot more 💜 hope you enjoy the book, which one did you get? happy holidays!
@@r_and_a that's definitely a possibility. I get the "open up more" talk after I move into the relationship phase. I've shared attachment theory with my friend and was going to buy "Learning Love" for her to read, but I don't think she's ready yet. As the old saying goes, "when the student is ready, the teacher will appear." I'll just read it myself and tell her about it. Merry Christmas! ⛄🎄 🎁
It’s tough when your efforts don’t lead to the outcomes you hoped for. Your awareness of these patterns is a strong step forward, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. Stay kind to yourself as you continue this journey.
I grew up with a narcissistic mother, which is why I'm an FA and a sigma male (textbook versions of both). Most people don't now how sigma males come to be, it's specifically because a man was primarily raised by a narcissistic mother with the father figure (no matter what type) took a background role. Though FA is a common outcome for men in this case, it's not a guarantee. But most men who are sigma or FA are also usually both. Mystery solved, you're welcome.
because of the fear of abandonment the FA's end the relationship suddenly, but, after that they realise that their partner was not really going to abandon them? why after they ended the relationship abruptly they don't look for their ex again and start another one? don't they realise that they ended the relationship because of something they imagined and that in reality that relationship and person were good?
They end a new relationship because they don't want to show their true colors to the person they are dumping. They are convinced that if they would carry on with the relationship, their new partner would realize how messed up they truly are and end the relationship then. They don't believe they can be liked for who they are. Deep down they think they are inadequate. That's why they end the relationship.
I still wonder if my ex was a narcissist or an FA. We are in NC. I texted him and deleted his number. He didnt read my message, but the next day he went to the store where my siblings work, bought something small he can get everywhere and didnt talked to them. He read my message the day after. Can someone explain this behaviour?
trying to get a reaction out of you to see if you break no contact even further in order to have a sense of control maybe over the dynamic. If you approach him and say why did you visit the store and say nothing, then he gets validation that you still care. Most likely wouldnt even respond to that. walk away
@@SAHILSHAH92 thank you for helping me out. I blocked him immediately after he read that last message (in the message i already told him i loved him so much but wish, i never met him at all) He really broke my heart..
@@aw.8860use your discernment. If you feel like he doesn't treat you well and on top of that doesn't communicate then you have to ask yourself if it's healthy for you. Maybe getting rid of him inspires him to change and down the road it works out OR you find someone better. Win win for you
I am trying to get an refund after cancelling before the 7 day free trial. It is IMPOSSIBLE to find a way to do that. I now see my CANCELLATION is not even reflecting. There is no billing support or anyone to contact or complain to. No access. Nothing. Please assist. Thanks.
Hi there, for any refund related inquiry please email us at info@personaldevelopmentschool.com. Our customer service team would be able to assist you with this. With gratitude, PDS Team Member
I would appreciate if you would talk in those really helpful videos slower and emphasize the important info like the part of going into the opposite of betrayal and give some more detailed dialogue as an example without doing a intro about attachment styles in every other video instead.
I would say a trigger being tripped by my girlfriend cheating on me with her male friend (confirmed true), is NOT accidental at all; that is definitely her fault.
Im sorry to hear. Cheating has little to do with being FA, all of the insecure attachment styles are prone to cheating , it's really more about being an asshole
You’re right-actions like that are not accidental and can deeply hurt. I hope you’re giving yourself the time and space to process and heal from this experience.
I would say they are practically the same thing. You cannot really assume correctly what people are thinking/feeling and why etc from an unregulated standpoint.
Being hyper aware of changes isn't projection. It's hyper awareness. If we ascribe stories to the reasoning behind the changes it can sometimes be from a place of projection, but it's not the same thing.
That’s an interesting connection. While hypervigilance and hypersensitivity can sometimes overlap with projection, they often stem from different psychological mechanisms though.
I feel like a high percentage of people who test FA could also be narcissists, maybe a video on this for the future. I spent way too long thinking my partner was just FA rather than a narcissist also. Turns out they can’t change if they are a narcissist.
I’ve learned more about the attachment styles from you than anyone else. It’s really starting to make sense why I am the way I am.
It’s amazing to hear that the content is helping things click for you. Understanding attachment styles can bring so much clarity. Thank you for your kind words!
Recently, I had a challenging split. The breakup of my five-year relationship a few months ago has been quite difficult. I still harbor a deep affection for my ex-boyfriend, and I can't seem to stop thinking about him. My attempts to win him back have been unsuccessful, and at this point, it seems impossible to be with anybody else. It may seem strange to admit this, but I miss him terribly and can't stop thinking about him.
I completely understand the pain of letting go of someone you love. I went through a similar experience when my 10 year relationship ended. I couldn't imagine my life without him, so I tried everything to rekindle our love. I eventually found guidance from a spiritual counselor, and their support helped me bring him back into my life if you're open to it, seeking help from a spiritual counselor might make a difference.
It's interesting! How can I contact a spiritual counselor most efficiently, and how did you find one?
Father Obah Eze is a wonderful spiritual counselor who has the ability to bring back your ex.
He can assist you; he is Father Obah Eze, and he possesses immense powers.
I just sought him up online thanks to your helpful information. remarkable
I just checked Father Obah Eze online, and he's really genuine. Thank you again ❤
*PLEASE* add the title that keeps getting spammed in comments to the blocked words list 🙏 know it's technically extra engagement but it's almost as bad as all the negativity on videos about DAs for discouraging actual people who are truly interested in personal development from interacting ~ would be so lovely to *never* see that or advertisements for the one "spiritual advisor" again in the new year 💜
Such a great video! I would also add that they don't move too fast. If they say they live you very quickly or purpose marriage very early. They take time to get to know you and give you time to get to know them.
this is probably my favourite video of yours so far. As an FA I understood myself from this
Hi , can i contact you on any platform i have many questions.
@ hi, sure I have snapchat
@ thatpatriotgirl
@ other than that i dont have social media.., i am am avoidant afterall lol
@@hannahrose7372 on which Platform?
These four triggers are exactly what my recent ex girlfriend exhibited. I remember different incidents as she was explaining the symptoms of triggers. I love my ex girlfriend so deeply and at the same time I wondered what heck am I doing wrong. I always told her that I’m here for her every day every step It doesn’t seem to matter. She would make up incidents about me that never occurred. She acknowledged her issues from her childhood and wow she wasn’t wrong. I still wanted to be the man she count on. I have a feeling that I will never hear from her again. I take it one day at a time to build myself up. I do miss my love.
While I do have empathy for you, as an FA I can't help but not trust you if another FA didn't lol you had a pattern of behavior that was not 100% transparent. Maybe you didn't see it that way but some doubt was caused and not explained so that it made logical sense. Over explain and be really transparent, even if it may be hurtful.. we know the truth already
That’s such a heartfelt story. It’s clear you deeply cared for your ex and wanted to support her through her struggles. It’s not easy to let go, but focusing on rebuilding yourself one day at a time is such a strong and admirable approach. Wishing you healing and peace.
This makes a lot of sense. My FA friend has exhibited those traits in her relationships. Her most recent boyfriend (who appeared to be AP based on her description of his behaviors) got angry at her and went out with an ex of his. He allegedly even sent her a picture of them reading at a restaurant. 😮 I remember her telling me things like, "I can't trust him anymore" and kept her distance from him only for the relationship to eventually end.
On another note, I also notice she has a hard time telling me things that bother her. Despite our decade-long friendship, she often doesn't say things outright. It's almost as if she's purposefully leaving gaps for me to fill, which is awkward because when we talked about taking things to a romantic level she essentially said she wanted more closeness and for me to open up more (something I don't do). She can be really confusing sometimes.
All that said, I just bought your book as a Christmas gift for myself Thais! I can't wait to read it and see what I can learn from it (I'm not opening it until tomorrow). Merry Christmas everyone! ⛄🎁 🎄
as an FA who wants my DA partner to open up more it's been really strange to realise how much i actually tend to do things like leave gaps for them to fill in rather than outright saying stuff, lol, fwiw it's not consciously intentional (for me at least) maybe i got used to being more open when i was less invested & didn't notice how things shifted? 🤷
idk if your friend knows about attachment theory or it'd even really matter but fwiw pds (& especially DAs online who share their perspectives) has helped me appreciate ways my DA *does* open up & express their closeness a lot more 💜 hope you enjoy the book, which one did you get? happy holidays!
@@r_and_a that's definitely a possibility. I get the "open up more" talk after I move into the relationship phase. I've shared attachment theory with my friend and was going to buy "Learning Love" for her to read, but I don't think she's ready yet. As the old saying goes, "when the student is ready, the teacher will appear." I'll just read it myself and tell her about it. Merry Christmas! ⛄🎄 🎁
Sadly everytime I tried to do the opposite, and everytime people do prove my core fears to be through
It’s tough when your efforts don’t lead to the outcomes you hoped for. Your awareness of these patterns is a strong step forward, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. Stay kind to yourself as you continue this journey.
Very good episode ! Thanks for sharing with us !
Have a good 🧑🎄🧑🎄🧑🎄
Awesome info. Thank u so much!
Great eyebrows! You look great!
I grew up with a narcissistic mother, which is why I'm an FA and a sigma male (textbook versions of both). Most people don't now how sigma males come to be, it's specifically because a man was primarily raised by a narcissistic mother with the father figure (no matter what type) took a background role. Though FA is a common outcome for men in this case, it's not a guarantee. But most men who are sigma or FA are also usually both. Mystery solved, you're welcome.
Ive been stuck in freeze for the last few months. I wish I wasn't like this 😭
U are so GORGEOUS i ❤ u
because of the fear of abandonment the FA's end the relationship suddenly, but, after that they realise that their partner was not really going to abandon them? why after they ended the relationship abruptly they don't look for their ex again and start another one? don't they realise that they ended the relationship because of something they imagined and that in reality that relationship and person were good?
They end a new relationship because they don't want to show their true colors to the person they are dumping. They are convinced that if they would carry on with the relationship, their new partner would realize how messed up they truly are and end the relationship then. They don't believe they can be liked for who they are. Deep down they think they are inadequate. That's why they end the relationship.
I heard you in another video mention counter dependence. Are counter-dependence and fearful avoidant the same thing?
I still wonder if my ex was a narcissist or an FA.
We are in NC.
I texted him and deleted his number.
He didnt read my message, but the next day he went to the store where my siblings work, bought something small he can get everywhere and didnt talked to them. He read my message the day after.
Can someone explain this behaviour?
trying to get a reaction out of you to see if you break no contact even further in order to have a sense of control maybe over the dynamic. If you approach him and say why did you visit the store and say nothing, then he gets validation that you still care. Most likely wouldnt even respond to that. walk away
@@SAHILSHAH92 thank you for helping me out. I blocked him immediately after he read that last message (in the message i already told him i loved him so much but wish, i never met him at all)
He really broke my heart..
@@aw.8860use your discernment. If you feel like he doesn't treat you well and on top of that doesn't communicate then you have to ask yourself if it's healthy for you. Maybe getting rid of him inspires him to change and down the road it works out OR you find someone better. Win win for you
❤❤❤❤
I am trying to get an refund after cancelling before the 7 day free trial. It is IMPOSSIBLE to find a way to do that. I now see my CANCELLATION is not even reflecting. There is no billing support or anyone to contact or complain to. No access. Nothing. Please assist. Thanks.
Hi there, for any refund related inquiry please email us at info@personaldevelopmentschool.com. Our customer service team would be able to assist you with this. With gratitude, PDS Team Member
I would appreciate if you would talk in those really helpful videos slower and emphasize the important info like the part of going into the opposite of betrayal and give some more detailed dialogue as an example without doing a intro about attachment styles in every other video instead.
I would say a trigger being tripped by my girlfriend cheating on me with her male friend (confirmed true), is NOT accidental at all; that is definitely her fault.
Im sorry to hear. Cheating has little to do with being FA, all of the insecure attachment styles are prone to cheating , it's really more about being an asshole
Character =\= attachment, a persons individual values still shines through despite their attachment wounds
Do you mean ex-girlfriend? That's why I don't have male friends, never want anyone to feel this way ever, it sucks
You’re right-actions like that are not accidental and can deeply hurt. I hope you’re giving yourself the time and space to process and heal from this experience.
@@jessiem9470 Yes. I immediately broke up with her afterward.
Can we say Hypervigillance/ Hypersensitivity, are close to what psychologists call 'Projection'..?
I would say they are practically the same thing. You cannot really assume correctly what people are thinking/feeling and why etc from an unregulated standpoint.
Being hyper aware of changes isn't projection. It's hyper awareness. If we ascribe stories to the reasoning behind the changes it can sometimes be from a place of projection, but it's not the same thing.
That’s an interesting connection. While hypervigilance and hypersensitivity can sometimes overlap with projection, they often stem from different psychological mechanisms though.
ua-cam.com/users/liveT4RukupKwGs?si=Ao7b_q85FMkxFFun
I feel like a high percentage of people who test FA could also be narcissists, maybe a video on this for the future. I spent way too long thinking my partner was just FA rather than a narcissist also. Turns out they can’t change if they are a narcissist.