questions asked: 1. Their faith and values? How much do they prioritise their prayers or any question you’d like 2.Finances How will you manage your finances and how much does he/she expect you to work 3. Personal affairs Don’t mention the past. Ask if they’re ready to commit to this. 4.Children 5. Residential problems
0:32: 💍 Importance of discussing key marriage topics before tying the knot. 3:15: 💑 Importance of discussing personal beliefs and practices before marriage. 6:11: 💍 Essential considerations before marriage for financial responsibility and personal growth. 9:15: 💍 Importance of commitment in relationships and avoiding digging into past for a strong bond. 12:27: ⚖ Importance of sharing household responsibilities in marriage for creating ease and support. 15:39: 💑 Discussing future plans before marriage is crucial for a successful relationship. 18:29: 💑 Importance of communication and compromise in relationships before marriage. Recap by Tammy AI
omg dress code thing was one of the first things in my mind to ask cuz I want my man to encourage me wearing modest, not someone who thinks it's being too backward or something along those lines ygm.
Good to know the woman is not obliged to take care of her in-laws. It comes naturally and it's normal, but there are men who DEMAND that as if it was your duty as a woman.
Assalam Alaikum! Thanks for the video. This is the older sister's advice that so many of us need. I think it's also important to clarify their definition and understanding of the hijab. Unfortunately, many people in the South Asian culture view it as something to be worn outside in front of strangers when it should also be worn in front of cousins. This can lead to disputes and unnecessary misunderstandings (speaking from personal experience). I also found it interesting how my opinion on milad is quite the opposite actually as I cannot marry someone who participates in it. This is a bidah (innovation) that is mainly found in the South Asian region. The sahabas loved the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) a lot and there is no authentic hadith to show them performing milaad. The Prophet (SAW) gave us very clear ways of showing our love for him such as reciting durood, following the Quran and Sunnah, etc and anything that is not found in the Sunnah is an innovation. I respect your decision but I think it is important as Muslims to guide each other. I would advise you to watch Dr Israr Ahmed's take on this and also Mufti Menk's. JazakAllah for the video❤
Yess I also asked these type of questions to my fiance And I realized that we both have the same thinking alhumdulillah☺️ Supportive husband is the biggest blessing of Allah SWT I think if you both on the same page then life becomes more easier lighter and brighter❤️
This is very random but may Allah bless you for not plucking your eyebrows, it's very motivating to see other sisters like this in these times of fitnah smh
Such an informative video Azka aapi! Many people often feel hesitant to ask some questions and suffer later just because it wasn’t discussed in the first place. May Allah(swt) you with more guidance and wisdom🤍
The most important point to look at when getting married after the point of religious faith and reputation is to look FIRST for the suiting father/mother for future children. When someone is in your eyes a good father/mother and everything else is fine or okay go for it. Don't chase a hard to find fairy tale prince/princess.
This video is 10/10.👌just want to add one more topic which is ' BOUNDARIES ' like both of them know what are the boundaries of the other person which they can't compromise on, which sister azka also talks about in this video. AGAIN YOU ARE THE BEST, GIRLLLL💖 MAY ALLAH BLESS U 💓.
Masha'allah sister this a great video with many essential points. I would also recommend meeting the person few times in order to get more jist of their behaviour and how they are with their families. Also parents/guardians need to investigate and do their research on the guy and their family so they can be more assured. One another valid point to check the social media of the guy. Is he following sinful things, what type of friends and social life he has. E.g going out too much, partying shisha. I hope this helps everyone here insha'allah
ua-cam.com/video/uoC8xxqM2lE/v-deo.html mawlid is a bid’ah. the companions of RasulAllah ﷺ never celebrated it in the Prophet’s ﷺ lifetime or after his death. so how can we come 1000 years later and say that this is “mustahab” when it’s actually an innovation?
You have considered some great points as a point of discussion before going for a marriage. However, points such as career and goals, we should not have our independent preferences rather we should prefer deen over duniyah. Sometimes in life we may make bad decisions because we are not the best planners! Also I think you are sharing your preferences at times also (with all due respect it is only my thoughts based on your video). But thanks for the insightful ones.
im 27 years old i never had a girlfriend before i never kissed a girl and im a virgin. i never smoked cigarettes shisha or drunk alcohol and im proud of my self. But thats why my future wife has to be a virgin too BUT if i wasnt my virgin my self i shouldnt and couldnt expect a virgin wife too
I think it is also very important to discuss the topic of polygamy. If you are not ok with it, please discuss it before marriage and also mention it in your nikah contract.
@@afreenshk Polygamy is permissible in Islam. But many women are not ok with their husband taking a second wife. If you are not comfortable with it, discuss it with your potential partner. You can also put a condition in your nikah contract that if your husband take a second wife without your permission, then you can ask for divorce and he should give it to you. If you are ok with it, then there is no problem. But if you are not, then mention it earlier.
The hijab part something really crucial I hope my future Husband supports me and help me in my hijab journey may Allah make it easy for all the hijabees🥹
i had rather say for personal affairs(work) that focus on rights , the rights of women in islam which includes right to work) and grow up men whats wrong wid u u aint giving rights to ur wifes.u would not be happy then . " LIVE WITH YOUR WIFE ON ACCEPTABLE TERMS". refrernece holy book quran and yes MARRY SOMEONEWHO ADDS VALUE TO YOUR LIFE AND CONTINUE YOUR LEGACY (that u had built up) ask allah to never make your spouses be a test to you , the world is already enuff of it, though we ask allah to never expose us to tests anywhere
Thank you for this video but in minute 2:30 I have to note something. sister if you follow the Sunnah you should not celebrate mawlid. It is a bidaa,innovation Please take this advise serious and research about it
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Assalamualaikum Please reply me I had a doubt My parents want to send my pics without hijab Which I'm not want to share with any boys For rishete so want can I do They are forcing me to not to wear hijab 🧕 Alhamdulillah I am hijabi , With hijab also may parents took pics but the in this generation thought what could I tell they don't want my pic with hijab And allow to take pic but to show to girls only now what to do Please reply This is raised a big issue to me
This comment is an answer to the video in which sometimes I address directly the sister talking, but sometimes the pronoun "you" is addressed to promiscuous people who committed zina and hide it from their prospective spouse. So in no way, I'm saying that the girl talking has committed it. It's just easier to address her directly. Also, Zina is a major sin whether it be for the man or the woman, I tried to balance my comments between the two genders as much as I could, but I definitely leaned towards the man's point of view to shed light on something she might be oblivious to as a woman. Interesting video but I'd like to comment on your view about sharing past sins. People (mostly women sadly) use this to hide their promiscuous sins or even zina from their future partner because that's what most people want to hide and it's actually very debatable if it's in their Islamic right to do so. 1- It's hypocritical on their part because they don't have any problem talking about less serious sins, which shows that they are not following the religion, but choosing what helps them achieve what they want and get access to what they don't deserve. In fact, it's contradictory on your part too! you said that you would like your spouse to tell you if he is practicing his deen or doing prayers regularly, which if he doesn't is a sin. So how is it okay for you to ask him about his deen and prayers (in the past obviously) and not okay for him? 2- You made a lot of rhetorical questions to point out how futile it is to talk about your past sins, so I will answer them to show that it's not as clear as you may think : - Are you happy to take this marriage forward? Well, it depends on the person he is dealing with ... and to know who we are dealing with, the only tangible reference is their past! And that's why I think you have every right to ask your betrothed about his deen and if his takings his prayers seriously. As you said, you can't just wish or hope that they will become a new person, so it is in your right as someone who will be their partner for life, to know who they truly are before engaging in such a relationship. Otherwise, the foundation of your marriage will be lies, deceit, and the withholding of pieces of information that are fundamental in choosing to marry someone or not. - Can we leave what happened in the past in the past? Sister, it doesn't make any sense! The future is based on what you do in the present, and the present is based on what you do in the past. People don't spawn in the present like in a video game. Life would be so easy if we could just start over a new page each time something goes wrong. That's why you ask him about his job when he shows interest in you for marriage, you can't just believe his word that he is a capable man, you want to see real actions in his past, that show that he is what he claims to be. You wouldn't want to marry a loser who spent his past screwing around which would make him inevitably a loser in the present too. It's in your right to look into his past because you want someone who can provide, and it is in his right to look into your past if he wants a pious wife. How would you feel about him lying or withholding information regarding his ability to provide, protect, or cater to your needs? well, it's the same for him or even worse because you would be marrying a loser but he would be marrying a major sinner. - You talked about expecting commitment and trust : How can someone expect commitment when he indulged in promiscuous acts in the past? you broke your commitment to the Almighty Allah Azzawajal and now you want your partner to believe in your commitment to him and be committed to you? Not only you are not trustworthy, but you don't deserve to require commitment or trust from others. Why can't he go and do Zina (during the engagement ) like you did and then repent like you did? Even after marriage, you can put the past in the past as you said, and start anew. You may say that in this case, it's cheating, thus it's not the same. Well, it is! aren't you cheating by not telling him who you truly are, aren't you deceiving him? aren't you breaking his trust? A trust that he gave to the persona that you showed him, not the real you. - How is it helping you in any way? Sorry sister, but I laughed at this one. Imagine someone telling you "How is it helping you in any way to know who you are truly marrying?" I believe I don't need to add anything, it's a ridiculous question. - "It's going to weaken the bond": if you do this the halal way, there is no bond to speak of before marriage and that's one of the main reasons behind the halal way so that you can choose your partner with a clear head. And even if we talked about a bond, it's a false one. A bond your partner has made with the version of you that you displayed to him, not the real you. So actually, there is no bond to be weakened between the two of you. 3- it baffles me how in this topic we generally talk about hiding sins, like we are talking about a small thing, when we all know that the elephant in the room is zina, one of the major sins. A major sin for which people got the fla*gellation or the sto*ning penalty and wouldn't have lived to "hide their sins" as we do so casually nowadays. Actually, it makes more sense to hide it in the past since the penalty was so severe on the person and the uma, but nowadays people use it to carve a path into marriages they don't deserve, which in many cases end in divorce and it's hard to believe that the lack of iman in a zani/zania didn't play a role in that. 4- The scholars agree that you should share your past sins if there is a valid reason. Let's not forget, that we are not talking about sharing your sins with a random person, we are talking about your life partner. Many problems may arise from the past haram relationships and influence your marriage and your husband will be obliged to deal with them. One of your "exes" may come back and threaten you physically, your husband must protect you, so he will risk his life for what? for a Zania who lied to him and fight a Zani who is frustrated for not being her husband? Why should this husband go through this? Another scenario is when you meet the person with whom your partner did zina, how would you feel when he says or shows you something inappropriate about your spouse? Another one is an ex coming back by sending you a message and your husband sees it or you meet this ex by chance when things were not so good in your marriage and you fall again in Zina... There are a lot of scenarios in which the pious spouse is a victim to the haram past of his partner, so you can't guarantee that he will not suffer from your past actions, so he has a right to know what he is getting into and the potential repercussions that he may have to deal with. I don't need to mention that you should test yourself for STDs and STIs before marriage and share the information if there is a problem. Even without any of these scenarios happening, it is ridiculous to say that these past relationships didn't have an influence on you, thus they will inevitably have an influence on your relationship with your husband. The tawba is something between you and Allah. With the all-forgiving, you can start a new chapter, but in life, past experiences change you. Tawba may erase your sins, but it won't necessarily bring you to the state you were in before committing those sins (major sins). People bring all the emotional baggage and the traumas of their past haram relationships to their marriages for their spouses to handle and deal with. People keep comparing their spouse to their previous zina partners, especially when things aren't going well, which negatively influences their behavior with their spouse. Furthermore, science shows that the promiscuity of a partner (before marriage) is inversely proportional to the success and stability of their marriage, especially for women. It's already very hard to keep a marriage working with spouses who never did zina, so you are making it even harder for your spouse who doesn't deserve this. So no! Even if you wanted to, you can't erase the past, you can't start a new life like if the past didn't happen. To sum up this point, your past will negatively influence your marriage and will make trouble for your husband who has a right to decide if he wants to get into this mess or not.
5- People who engage in zina are hypocritical, unreasonable, and are in many cases opportunistic and egoistic. -Opportunistic and egoistic in the sense that they only think about what benefits them without any regard for the other person, and they change their beliefs depending on the situation they are in to fit their needs, they don't actually abide by the religion, but they use its forgiveness for their personal gains and they impose on you by the same religion to accept them as if they have never committed zina. And since in this modern age there is no penalty for zina, we shifted from a time where it was so feared to have a sexual relationship outside of marriage to it becoming a very common thing. When these zaniine and zaniate were in a situation where they wanted to have Zina they did, when they decided to stop having "fun" and get into a serious marriage, they used the "tawba card". It's disgustingly easy. it's like non-muslim women (and men) in the West who want to enjoy their youth so they keep bouncing from person to person, and when they hit 30 years old or more they start playing the prude serious women act who want a stable relationship, who will by the way deprive her provider from so many intimate moments and acts she did for free in her youth. -Unreasonable, because when you ask them about they are looking for in their future mate, they will respond : a pious one. Like, wake up brother and sister! you're a zani and a zania, you should be happy that someone even wants to marry you. And let's not talk about our sisters who did zina before, but want a man who is this and that and will provide and protect because that's a right that Allah gave to her ... Where was the right of Allah when you had to keep your legs closed? -Hypocritical because they will say "People change, I made my tawba bla bla bla". For one, their partner should know the truth so that he can judge if he wants to believe in their change or not. Secondly, they don't want to accept the tawba of other zanine. They generally want someone who fears Allah and has never done anything promiscuous outside of marriage. So they want you to believe in their tawba, but they don't believe in the tawba of others who are like them and they will reject them for marriage because they think they deserve better ... it's sickening! they don't believe in it, because they know ... they know the truth. All in all, I didn't intend to write this much, your past will shape your present whether you like it or not, so you will inevitably hurt your spouse with your zina previous to marriage, directly or indirectly, consciously or unconsciously, physically or psychologically, thus he has every right to know. For once, stop thinking about your measly pleasure and put others first, take accountability, and live with the consequences of your acts, because that's what true repentance may demand from you if you're sincere. For every pious person who gets married to a zani/zania, it's one less pious spouse for the righteous people out there who are looking for someone like them, who endured the fitna and didn't lose to his/her chahwa. So you're indirectly making other people miserable as well. Let the good men find the good women, and the wicked ones find the wicked, and those who did tawba from zina, let them find each other so that they can live with the consequences of their acts and put their tawba to the test. Stop being selfish! So be truthful about Zina and let them decide if they wish to continue with the marriage, they must forgive and swear not to bring this matter ever again to the table in arguments or anything else. If you choose to believe them, but they end up not keeping their promise, that's the life you put on yourself and no one did. My only exception for this is those who weren't born in a Muslim household, so they did Zina before coming to Allah, those can choose to keep it a secret.
There are tonnes of guidelines for career advancement, beauty , health and other daily life skills but I had no knowledge regarding preparation for married life. Thank you for educating me❤️❤️
My question will be -do you have any bf and you are not happy with your family decision LoL This is modern generation and this is the most Important question need to be asked!!
I don't see how a wife who is more focused on her career and working outside the home benefits her husband when it is forbidden in Islam for a husband to take anything from his wife's earnings.
i'm seening this video on1.5x speed with so much focus and then ur husband interrupted hey meri shirt pehnihai , Iwas literall y sacred and saw my behind whose there and then found is ur husband , bhai sambhal ke abhi heart attack aane hi wala tah😅 , by the way so much love from India to you guys
thank you, in shaa Allah it will help me in future. if you don't mind can you share your pov on milaad as you said you have studied it in deep and very well, i have done it too but what if i can get some knowledge from you (you can also share the link of website from which you have study). Moreover Allah knows the best.
Jazakillah my lovely! As I mentioned in the video I am honestly not here to discuss this further but arguments Shykh Tahir Ul Qadri gives have touched my heart the most! I am linking one of his videos but he has published a lot of videos and books on this with references from ahadiths and Quran! ua-cam.com/video/WCN99mjG42Q/v-deo.html Ps: I have taken the course in a centre from someone who has spent their entire life learning and teaching Islam comprehensively. I have not studied though a website as I believe knowledge online is incomplete and without context/background.
@@azka.yasirr Jazakillah khayran, i understand you.May Allah bless you and full fill your wishes by making them good for you. Remember me in your dua'a, i badly want to do such course too.
Feel free to leave your suggestions below!
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questions asked:
1. Their faith and values?
How much do they prioritise their prayers or any question you’d like
2.Finances
How will you manage your finances and how much does he/she expect you to work
3. Personal affairs
Don’t mention the past.
Ask if they’re ready to commit to this.
4.Children
5. Residential problems
jazakiLLah kheir
0:32: 💍 Importance of discussing key marriage topics before tying the knot.
3:15: 💑 Importance of discussing personal beliefs and practices before marriage.
6:11: 💍 Essential considerations before marriage for financial responsibility and personal growth.
9:15: 💍 Importance of commitment in relationships and avoiding digging into past for a strong bond.
12:27: ⚖ Importance of sharing household responsibilities in marriage for creating ease and support.
15:39: 💑 Discussing future plans before marriage is crucial for a successful relationship.
18:29: 💑 Importance of communication and compromise in relationships before marriage.
Recap by Tammy AI
Same Mawlid pak is most imp !
And very close to heart ❤
Jazakallah sister ❤
You actually fulfil your sister responsibilities with us and it’s honestly amazing to get advice from a sister like you
You are the nicest 🫶🏼
omg dress code thing was one of the first things in my mind to ask cuz I want my man to encourage me wearing modest, not someone who thinks it's being too backward or something along those lines ygm.
Good to know the woman is not obliged to take care of her in-laws. It comes naturally and it's normal, but there are men who DEMAND that as if it was your duty as a woman.
Assalam Alaikum! Thanks for the video. This is the older sister's advice that so many of us need. I think it's also important to clarify their definition and understanding of the hijab. Unfortunately, many people in the South Asian culture view it as something to be worn outside in front of strangers when it should also be worn in front of cousins. This can lead to disputes and unnecessary misunderstandings (speaking from personal experience).
I also found it interesting how my opinion on milad is quite the opposite actually as I cannot marry someone who participates in it. This is a bidah (innovation) that is mainly found in the South Asian region. The sahabas loved the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) a lot and there is no authentic hadith to show them performing milaad. The Prophet (SAW) gave us very clear ways of showing our love for him such as reciting durood, following the Quran and Sunnah, etc and anything that is not found in the Sunnah is an innovation. I respect your decision but I think it is important as Muslims to guide each other. I would advise you to watch Dr Israr Ahmed's take on this and also Mufti Menk's.
JazakAllah for the video❤
Waaleikum salam, I wholeheartedly agree with both of your points❤
Yess I also asked these type of questions to my fiance
And I realized that we both have the same thinking alhumdulillah☺️
Supportive husband is the biggest blessing of Allah SWT
I think if you both on the same page then life becomes more easier lighter and brighter❤️
I AGREEE 🤍🤍🤍
mashaAllah tabaarakAllah 2:28 appreciate the courage to say that despite ppl and haters online who may not agree w it
This is very random but may Allah bless you for not plucking your eyebrows, it's very motivating to see other sisters like this in these times of fitnah smh
May Allah SWT bless everyone with a good spouse Amen ❤️
Aamen 🫶🏼🫶🏼
I like the way you did your hijab this style looks so pretty on you Azka
🧐
mawlid is innovation. fear Allah
Such an informative video Azka aapi! Many people often feel hesitant to ask some questions and suffer later just because it wasn’t discussed in the first place.
May Allah(swt) you with more guidance and wisdom🤍
May Allah make it easy for everyone Amen❤
The most important point to look at when getting married after the point of religious faith and reputation is to look FIRST for the suiting father/mother for future children. When someone is in your eyes a good father/mother and everything else is fine or okay go for it.
Don't chase a hard to find fairy tale prince/princess.
This video is 10/10.👌just want to add one more topic which is ' BOUNDARIES ' like both of them know what are the boundaries of the other person which they can't compromise on, which sister azka also talks about in this video.
AGAIN YOU ARE THE BEST, GIRLLLL💖
MAY ALLAH BLESS U 💓.
thank you my lovely!!! 🫶🏼 such a nice comment!
Very clearly, openly and nicely expressed ❤️ Masha Allah
Masha'allah sister this a great video with many essential points. I would also recommend meeting the person few times in order to get more jist of their behaviour and how they are with their families.
Also parents/guardians need to investigate and do their research on the guy and their family so they can be more assured.
One another valid point to check the social media of the guy. Is he following sinful things, what type of friends and social life he has. E.g going out too much, partying shisha.
I hope this helps everyone here insha'allah
some good points 👏🏽
ua-cam.com/video/uoC8xxqM2lE/v-deo.html
mawlid is a bid’ah. the companions of RasulAllah ﷺ never celebrated it in the Prophet’s ﷺ lifetime or after his death. so how can we come 1000 years later and say that this is “mustahab” when it’s actually an innovation?
Haqq
Facts
Exactly Mustahab is something which is Sunnah of Rasul ALLAH Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam May ALLAH Guide Us All Aameen SumaAameen
Q1: I am looking for a virgin, because I am also one, and I want someone who shares my values.
JZK sister Aameen. Please make dua for us too that we only find the right person and Allah blesses us all Aameen
Sorry mawlid is bid’ah
You have considered some great points as a point of discussion before going for a marriage. However, points such as career and goals, we should not have our independent preferences rather we should prefer deen over duniyah. Sometimes in life we may make bad decisions because we are not the best planners! Also I think you are sharing your preferences at times also (with all due respect it is only my thoughts based on your video). But thanks for the insightful ones.
im 27 years old i never had a girlfriend before i never kissed a girl and im a virgin. i never smoked cigarettes shisha or drunk alcohol and im proud of my self. But thats why my future wife has to be a virgin too BUT if i wasnt my virgin my self i shouldnt and couldnt expect a virgin wife too
May Allah bless you in this life and the next
May Allah SWT bless you for always sharing good topics with us Amen ❤️
I try! Aamen 🫶🏼
I think it is also very important to discuss the topic of polygamy. If you are not ok with it, please discuss it before marriage and also mention it in your nikah contract.
What does it mean?
@@afreenshk Polygamy is permissible in Islam. But many women are not ok with their husband taking a second wife. If you are not comfortable with it, discuss it with your potential partner. You can also put a condition in your nikah contract that if your husband take a second wife without your permission, then
you can ask for divorce and he should give it to you. If you are ok with it, then there is no problem. But if you are not, then mention it earlier.
Allah made polygamy halal. No one can make haram what Allah made halal
The hijab part something really crucial I hope my future Husband supports me and help me in my hijab journey may Allah make it easy for all the hijabees🥹
Is*
InshaAllahhh 💗💗
One day i will marry a good girl in sha Allah. I will ask Allah to give me a good girl.
i had rather say for personal affairs(work) that focus on rights , the rights of women in islam which includes right to work) and grow up men whats wrong wid u u aint giving rights to ur wifes.u would not be happy then . " LIVE WITH YOUR WIFE ON ACCEPTABLE TERMS". refrernece holy book quran and yes MARRY SOMEONEWHO ADDS VALUE TO YOUR LIFE AND CONTINUE YOUR LEGACY (that u had built up) ask allah to never make your spouses be a test to you , the world is already enuff of it, though we ask allah to never expose us to tests anywhere
Thank you for this video but in minute 2:30 I have to note something. sister if you follow the Sunnah you should not celebrate mawlid. It is a bidaa,innovation
Please take this advise serious and research about it
Mashallah, you bring up very good points. They are essential and fair expectations to discuss.💜
OMG i got scared when yasir spoke 😀😀because i was really paying attention what u were saying.😅
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Assalamualaikum Please reply me
I had a doubt
My parents want to send my pics without hijab
Which I'm not want to share with any boys
For rishete so want can I do
They are forcing me to not to wear hijab 🧕
Alhamdulillah I am hijabi ,
With hijab also may parents took pics but the in this generation thought what could I tell they don't want my pic with hijab
And allow to take pic but to show to girls only now what to do
Please reply
This is raised a big issue to me
Sister try to make them understand with a good clear conversation with peaceful mind
Hope you get a good partner inshallah 💖💖💖
This comment is an answer to the video in which sometimes I address directly the sister talking, but sometimes the pronoun "you" is addressed to promiscuous people who committed zina and hide it from their prospective spouse. So in no way, I'm saying that the girl talking has committed it. It's just easier to address her directly. Also, Zina is a major sin whether it be for the man or the woman, I tried to balance my comments between the two genders as much as I could, but I definitely leaned towards the man's point of view to shed light on something she might be oblivious to as a woman.
Interesting video but I'd like to comment on your view about sharing past sins.
People (mostly women sadly) use this to hide their promiscuous sins or even zina from their future partner because that's what most people want to hide and it's actually very debatable if it's in their Islamic right to do so.
1- It's hypocritical on their part because they don't have any problem talking about less serious sins, which shows that they are not following the religion, but choosing what helps them achieve what they want and get access to what they don't deserve. In fact, it's contradictory on your part too! you said that you would like your spouse to tell you if he is practicing his deen or doing prayers regularly, which if he doesn't is a sin. So how is it okay for you to ask him about his deen and prayers (in the past obviously) and not okay for him?
2- You made a lot of rhetorical questions to point out how futile it is to talk about your past sins, so I will answer them to show that it's not as clear as you may think :
- Are you happy to take this marriage forward?
Well, it depends on the person he is dealing with ... and to know who we are dealing with, the only tangible reference is their past! And that's why I think you have every right to ask your betrothed about his deen and if his takings his prayers seriously. As you said, you can't just wish or hope that they will become a new person, so it is in your right as someone who will be their partner for life, to know who they truly are before engaging in such a relationship. Otherwise, the foundation of your marriage will be lies, deceit, and the withholding of pieces of information that are fundamental in choosing to marry someone or not.
- Can we leave what happened in the past in the past?
Sister, it doesn't make any sense! The future is based on what you do in the present, and the present is based on what you do in the past. People don't spawn in the present like in a video game. Life would be so easy if we could just start over a new page each time something goes wrong. That's why you ask him about his job when he shows interest in you for marriage, you can't just believe his word that he is a capable man, you want to see real actions in his past, that show that he is what he claims to be. You wouldn't want to marry a loser who spent his past screwing around which would make him inevitably a loser in the present too. It's in your right to look into his past because you want someone who can provide, and it is in his right to look into your past if he wants a pious wife. How would you feel about him lying or withholding information regarding his ability to provide, protect, or cater to your needs? well, it's the same for him or even worse because you would be marrying a loser but he would be marrying a major sinner.
- You talked about expecting commitment and trust :
How can someone expect commitment when he indulged in promiscuous acts in the past? you broke your commitment to the Almighty Allah Azzawajal and now you want your partner to believe in your commitment to him and be committed to you? Not only you are not trustworthy, but you don't deserve to require commitment or trust from others. Why can't he go and do Zina (during the engagement ) like you did and then repent like you did? Even after marriage, you can put the past in the past as you said, and start anew. You may say that in this case, it's cheating, thus it's not the same. Well, it is! aren't you cheating by not telling him who you truly are, aren't you deceiving him? aren't you breaking his trust? A trust that he gave to the persona that you showed him, not the real you.
- How is it helping you in any way?
Sorry sister, but I laughed at this one. Imagine someone telling you "How is it helping you in any way to know who you are truly marrying?" I believe I don't need to add anything, it's a ridiculous question.
- "It's going to weaken the bond":
if you do this the halal way, there is no bond to speak of before marriage and that's one of the main reasons behind the halal way so that you can choose your partner with a clear head. And even if we talked about a bond, it's a false one. A bond your partner has made with the version of you that you displayed to him, not the real you. So actually, there is no bond to be weakened between the two of you.
3- it baffles me how in this topic we generally talk about hiding sins, like we are talking about a small thing, when we all know that the elephant in the room is zina, one of the major sins. A major sin for which people got the fla*gellation or the sto*ning penalty and wouldn't have lived to "hide their sins" as we do so casually nowadays. Actually, it makes more sense to hide it in the past since the penalty was so severe on the person and the uma, but nowadays people use it to carve a path into marriages they don't deserve, which in many cases end in divorce and it's hard to believe that the lack of iman in a zani/zania didn't play a role in that.
4- The scholars agree that you should share your past sins if there is a valid reason. Let's not forget, that we are not talking about sharing your sins with a random person, we are talking about your life partner.
Many problems may arise from the past haram relationships and influence your marriage and your husband will be obliged to deal with them.
One of your "exes" may come back and threaten you physically, your husband must protect you, so he will risk his life for what? for a Zania who lied to him and fight a Zani who is frustrated for not being her husband? Why should this husband go through this?
Another scenario is when you meet the person with whom your partner did zina, how would you feel when he says or shows you something inappropriate about your spouse?
Another one is an ex coming back by sending you a message and your husband sees it or you meet this ex by chance when things were not so good in your marriage and you fall again in Zina...
There are a lot of scenarios in which the pious spouse is a victim to the haram past of his partner, so you can't guarantee that he will not suffer from your past actions, so he has a right to know what he is getting into and the potential repercussions that he may have to deal with.
I don't need to mention that you should test yourself for STDs and STIs before marriage and share the information if there is a problem.
Even without any of these scenarios happening, it is ridiculous to say that these past relationships didn't have an influence on you, thus they will inevitably have an influence on your relationship with your husband.
The tawba is something between you and Allah. With the all-forgiving, you can start a new chapter, but in life, past experiences change you. Tawba may erase your sins, but it won't necessarily bring you to the state you were in before committing those sins (major sins).
People bring all the emotional baggage and the traumas of their past haram relationships to their marriages for their spouses to handle and deal with.
People keep comparing their spouse to their previous zina partners, especially when things aren't going well, which negatively influences their behavior with their spouse.
Furthermore, science shows that the promiscuity of a partner (before marriage) is inversely proportional to the success and stability of their marriage, especially for women. It's already very hard to keep a marriage working with spouses who never did zina, so you are making it even harder for your spouse who doesn't deserve this.
So no! Even if you wanted to, you can't erase the past, you can't start a new life like if the past didn't happen.
To sum up this point, your past will negatively influence your marriage and will make trouble for your husband who has a right to decide if he wants to get into this mess or not.
5- People who engage in zina are hypocritical, unreasonable, and are in many cases opportunistic and egoistic.
-Opportunistic and egoistic in the sense that they only think about what benefits them without any regard for the other person, and they change their beliefs depending on the situation they are in to fit their needs, they don't actually abide by the religion, but they use its forgiveness for their personal gains and they impose on you by the same religion to accept them as if they have never committed zina. And since in this modern age there is no penalty for zina, we shifted from a time where it was so feared to have a sexual relationship outside of marriage to it becoming a very common thing. When these zaniine and zaniate were in a situation where they wanted to have Zina they did, when they decided to stop having "fun" and get into a serious marriage, they used the "tawba card". It's disgustingly easy. it's like non-muslim women (and men) in the West who want to enjoy their youth so they keep bouncing from person to person, and when they hit 30 years old or more they start playing the prude serious women act who want a stable relationship, who will by the way deprive her provider from so many intimate moments and acts she did for free in her youth.
-Unreasonable, because when you ask them about they are looking for in their future mate, they will respond : a pious one. Like, wake up brother and sister! you're a zani and a zania, you should be happy that someone even wants to marry you. And let's not talk about our sisters who did zina before, but want a man who is this and that and will provide and protect because that's a right that Allah gave to her ... Where was the right of Allah when you had to keep your legs closed?
-Hypocritical because they will say "People change, I made my tawba bla bla bla". For one, their partner should know the truth so that he can judge if he wants to believe in their change or not. Secondly, they don't want to accept the tawba of other zanine. They generally want someone who fears Allah and has never done anything promiscuous outside of marriage. So they want you to believe in their tawba, but they don't believe in the tawba of others who are like them and they will reject them for marriage because they think they deserve better ... it's sickening! they don't believe in it, because they know ... they know the truth.
All in all, I didn't intend to write this much, your past will shape your present whether you like it or not, so you will inevitably hurt your spouse with your zina previous to marriage, directly or indirectly, consciously or unconsciously, physically or psychologically, thus he has every right to know. For once, stop thinking about your measly pleasure and put others first, take accountability, and live with the consequences of your acts, because that's what true repentance may demand from you if you're sincere. For every pious person who gets married to a zani/zania, it's one less pious spouse for the righteous people out there who are looking for someone like them, who endured the fitna and didn't lose to his/her chahwa. So you're indirectly making other people miserable as well.
Let the good men find the good women, and the wicked ones find the wicked, and those who did tawba from zina, let them find each other so that they can live with the consequences of their acts and put their tawba to the test. Stop being selfish!
So be truthful about Zina and let them decide if they wish to continue with the marriage, they must forgive and swear not to bring this matter ever again to the table in arguments or anything else. If you choose to believe them, but they end up not keeping their promise, that's the life you put on yourself and no one did. My only exception for this is those who weren't born in a Muslim household, so they did Zina before coming to Allah, those can choose to keep it a secret.
How can I say that I don't have a syster ....I have my Azka appi 🥺💖Allahumma barik ✨
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Mawlid is mustahab? Any sources for that
Mawlid is a bidah
You really did a great job thank you sister 😊
Walaikum assalam warahmatullah
Masha Allah ✌️
Thank you for the video ! I was afraid it’ll take some time but it came out so fast !!
Loved your advices. ❤
no problem! I am glad it’s been helpful 🤍
Excellent!
I'm 20 (pakistani) and my mom is starting to look for rishtas for me and I just want to curl up in a ball and stop existing i'm so scared
In sha Allah it all goes well for you, remember the decision is yours in the end so make sure you are happy, (I’m a yr younger than u)
lol same my parents also im 23 so yeah they are serious
Jazakallah hu khair..
subhan Allah barakallahu feekum such a beneficial video lots of love may Allah SWT Make you both amongst His most beloved slaves
You re such a cutie xx 😘 lots of duas for ya ukhti ❤
There are tonnes of guidelines for career advancement, beauty , health and other daily life skills but I had no knowledge regarding preparation for married life.
Thank you for educating me❤️❤️
My First question, did you have a bf
Thank you for this I just saw this video and I have subscribed
welcome to the fam 💕
Can you share where did you study about mawlid evidence?
she has no evidence. Its an innovation and a misguidance in the religion.
My question will be -do you have any bf and you are not happy with your family decision LoL
This is modern generation and this is the most Important question need to be asked!!
this is against Islam but everyone has their choice to make :)
It's really helpful 💛 جزاكلله خير
Such a helpful video. Thank you 😊
You are most welcome 🫶🏼
Thank u Azka :)
greetings from Morocco
I don't see how a wife who is more focused on her career and working outside the home benefits her husband when it is forbidden in Islam for a husband to take anything from his wife's earnings.
She can share her income if she wants
@@greengrapes5182 "if she wants". Only men with no brain cells will fall for it
Great video sister
Such a informative vlog ❤️
Thank you!!
Ameen ya rab ❤️
Api ap urdu ma nahi bata sakti meri english weak ha
thanks sis it's very helpful ❤️❤️
i'm seening this video on1.5x speed with so much focus and then ur husband interrupted hey meri shirt pehnihai , Iwas literall y sacred and saw my behind whose there and then found is ur husband , bhai sambhal ke abhi heart attack aane hi wala tah😅 , by the way so much love from India to you guys
Thanks ❤️
🎉🎉🎉
thank youu
thank you, in shaa Allah it will help me in future. if you don't mind can you share your pov on milaad as you said you have studied it in deep and very well, i have done it too but what if i can get some knowledge from you (you can also share the link of website from which you have study). Moreover Allah knows the best.
Jazakillah my lovely! As I mentioned in the video I am honestly not here to discuss this further but arguments Shykh Tahir Ul Qadri gives have touched my heart the most!
I am linking one of his videos but he has published a lot of videos and books on this with references from ahadiths and Quran!
ua-cam.com/video/WCN99mjG42Q/v-deo.html
Ps: I have taken the course in a centre from someone who has spent their entire life learning and teaching Islam comprehensively. I have not studied though a website as I believe knowledge online is incomplete and without context/background.
@@azka.yasirr Jazakillah khayran, i understand you.May Allah bless you and full fill your wishes by making them good for you. Remember me in your dua'a, i badly want to do such course too.
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We also celebrate mawlid 😍
الحمدللہ
I found your channel, I'm looking for a pious wife, how to find ? 😅
Alhumdulillah! Be pious yourself and Allah will grant you a pious partner, inshaAllah ✨
Fake accent exists!!!
Don't spread fake comments keep negativity away sis that's the way she speaks
Pure bakwaas.
Assalam o Alaikum Azka Ma'am! kindly view my message in DM & email
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