Autistic Joy & UTTER DEPLETION: My Taylor Swift Experience
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- Опубліковано 30 тра 2024
- In today's video we are exploring the concept of Autistic Joy and the intense recovery period that might follow after one of these experiences. I'll also be sharing some mindset shifts you can use to help support yourself and create space for your unique autistic needs. Check out the links below for more resources.
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3:43 I am an autistic 20 year old and I am the SAME WAY! Being in a public crowded store can give me a shutdown or meltdown but going to loud electronic music clubs, local diy shows, punk shows, big concerts, raves, etc are ALL my jam! If I can go somewhere with loud music and just dance and be free in my mind body and spirit and not care about anything. Some people think that it’s hypocritical of me to not handle going to spirit Halloween a a couple days before Halloween but love these environments. It’s not hypocritical, just how my strange lil brain works!
Yep! 💯
I'm 45 and absolutely agree with all you said 💯
❤ thank you, I appreciate you and your words ❤️🙏 I don't and do understand 💖
same
This speaks to me soooooo much! I just got back from 3+ months away from home and have felt dysregulated every day since getting back. I was berating myself for not getting back to “normal”…whatever that is!…more quickly and then this video popped up. Such a great reminder to give ourselves grace. I soooooo need that message! Thank you!!!!!!
My most pure memory of autistic joy is going to a nightclub when I was 17 with my best friends and just dancing for hours and hours. It was a gay nightclub so as a teenaged girl I felt no weirdness from men trying to hit on me. And I could let loose and feel the music without fear of some unwelcome invasive behavior. It was joyous!!!!
sounds like an amazing experience!! Thanks for sharing.
I've been trying for so loooong to understand the appeal Taylor Swift has for me. That's it, the Easter eggs and connections are my favorite thing about her work. Thank you for putting it into words.
I love Taylor too. Marvel movies have the same appeal since they are connected also. I'm the 48 year old mom of 3 lol.
I experienced autistic joy when I went to the movie theatre to watch Frozen. I planned the event months earlier and I can relate to all joy you described in your video. Still today I can't remember the event without my joyful stimming.
I even follow an Autistic DJ called Lucky Light, who not only loves raves, she even has tips for making raves more Autism friendly.
I had a bit of autistic joy today. My birthday was last weekend, and for a gift, I asked my husband for a mini shopping spree at my favourite book store, and today was the day I got to go. I put on a light blue midi dress (with a super comfortable elasticized belt), my gray Skechers with the bows on them, dangly earrings shaped like miniature stacks of books (I got two compliments on them in the store later), did my hair in a topsy-tail (I almost never do my hair), and put on a little mascara and a light-coloured lipstick. I forgot to mention that my purse matches the midi dress wonderfully. And I was ready to go. I only had about a day to plan the outfit but still.
We had to pick up my son from school before my husband dropped me off at the store, and I should mention that today was the first really warm day of spring. It was hot in the car. While we were waiting for my son at school, I found I just couldn't sit still. I'm still debating about what the issue was, the excitement or the hot car, but something was bugging me. I was sort of proud of myself later because the incident represents a moment where I felt like I was paying attention to my body quite well. It felt so authentic, getting up out of the car and pacing around in front of the school in Skechers and a midi dress. 😅 You never know when those moments will creep up on you when you look back and realize, "I haven't felt this much like ME in a long time." But why that? Why did I feel like me when I was pacing? Hm...
Anyway, I got to the store, which was not at all crowded. I was the only customer in the entire teen section (I read books for young readers). Wednesday morning is an amazing time to shop. And I bought books! The first one was the debut novel of an author who's dedicated to writing romances for disabled teens, featuring disabled characters. Seeing as I have now committed myself to writing autistic characters (I am a budding novelist myself), I'm thinking this is an author who should get a letter from me when I'm done reading her novel. I'm going to try and connect with her in some capacity. I'm totally excited.
I did have some negative emotions come bubbling up this evening for reasons I still haven't figured out. But all of this is pretty small scale compared to attending a concert 😊
It made me so happy to read this and to picture you so happy in your dress!
@@MomontheSpectrum I had to stay home and do nothing all day today as a consequence of yesterday's excitement. But that was okay because my daughter needed to rest, too (she didn't get a proper nap yesterday), and the boys were in school. So I think it was worth it 😊
Happy belated birthday 💜
@@bethanythatsme Thanks 😊
Happy belated birthday! Do you mind sharing the author of the books you got, I would be interested in checking them out!
I am 50 and trying to get diagnosed with autism . This video resonates with me so much. Music has always been my passion my escape my peace.what I notice with myself and my son who is 26 with autism is that when the music is controlled by us , we can handle the louder music. It’s when we can’t control it is when it becomes too much. Broadway musicals are another favorite of mine . I saw Hugh Jackman on Broadway in the Boy from Oz for my 30th birthday. It was absolutely amazing. With any big event like that it takes me weeks to decompress .
Do you know if you talked at an early age?
@@lizzvilla6468 may I ask why you ask this? I’m just discovering so much about my journey and I spoke to my fingers and toes as a very young baby… also reading was always very advanced as a child.
I got my official medical diagnosis last week, a day before a road-trip I had planned to watch an event for a special interest of mine. I think I’m still trying to learn how to accept my weaknesses but I packed and prepared just how I would for an autistic child (I’ve had the pleasure of being a caregiver to kids on the spectrum). I brought my noise reducing earbuds, I dressed in leggings to help with body temperature regulation, I researched cafes and restaurants and mentally picked out what I wanted to eat for every meal of the day, I slept with my foam ear plugs at night, etc. I took an additional day off work to recover and take care of some cleaning and laundry. I have to accept, I need extra time when it comes to events out of my routine and that’s perfectly okay. Overall, the trip went great and every time I try something new, I learn from the unforeseen hiccups and plan even better next time. I plan on returning in autumn for the next event and even booked one of my favorite hotels already haha. Thanks for the simple and honest videos, Taylor. I will definitely be sharing them with my loves ones so they can understand me better😊
My autistic joy are good loud music, authentic one on one inspirational conversations, physical activities, wise education, alone time
20 years ago I became an Exotic Dancer to push my self to become more social ( I figured most the drunks were too buzzed to have any merit to judge me. I wanted to be comfortable with the stage because I used to Run off the stage everytime I had to do a speech class in School. So I learned to like the (Exotic) Dance Bar environment so I could relax with a Beer when I talked to people. Being on stage at the bar, helped rid myself of any anxiety and produced a high. I became very good at becoming social. One night I could not get anyone to buy me a beer, so I forced myself on stage, later on that night I noticed that I didn't need a beer at all. I had such a great night. I quit drinking beer (or anything else) the next day. I had no more hangovers. I was very social and happy about how Real I felt I could be. Dancing is SO Very Freeing! It's also a way to become in the state of Flow because you are moving to the music all night at the club. Dancing becomes a process of being in the moment that produces this Flow. You learn to Become in the Moment , whenever you start to feel the mind begin overworking. I suggest that if you try Dance and do Yoga to positive music, and at the same time picture yourself having the greatest time, no matter what happens, in the future. ( No overthinking allowed). Just BEcome the music! Other people can't even bring you down, no matter what they say after awhile. . Try this,. I promise your life will begin to change, so much for the better. 💞🌈
I am 38 and have always loved festivals, concerts, roller rinks, and clubs (dim lights are a bonus). I LOVE to dance and sing. lol Whenever my daughter (12 autist) sees me stressed, she will suggest to go for a drive and listen to music.
A few years ago my hubby signed up me and his sister for a table at a craft fair. The fair was a super casual event and was only supposed to be for fun. But of course I managed to make it a huge deal mentally, prepping craft projects for weeks leading up to it, planning out the table decor, not sleeping or eating right the days immediately before it. To the point that I got no sleep and was vomiting for 2 days prior to it, LOL. Needless to say, I don't sell at craft fairs anymore. I just get WAY. TOO. EXCITED.
yes. the intense excitement is SO MUCH to deal with
I had an eerily similar experience. found out I was going to eras opening night with only a week left before the concert. and of course, I immediately went into autism mode and decided it was a good idea to hand sew my own outfit, a replica of one of her previous tour costumes. so I was spending all my time doing this, listening to her music on repeat, not eating or sleeping because I wanted to get it done on time. I was literally sewing as we were driving to glendale. it all worked out in the end and I had the time of my life, but I definitely experienced the same, where my processing was so delayed that initially I was almost disappointed because I didn't feel it had been as incredible as I expected. but in the weeks after, I finally started to remember and process what I had felt in the moment and realized it was pretty life changing and I can still feel the heat of the fire (iykyk). I didn't know that had a name. definitely going to look more into delayed processing.
I didn't have any sensory problems in the concert itself but I did when I was walking out of the stadium. so many people and so much stimuli made me very overwhelmed and I ended up getting lost and couldn't find my ride. I made it home safe but the next day I really needed to spend alone time. unfortunately I was staying with relatives and they really wanted to catch up so I was cornered into a high masking situation the day after the concert so you can imagine.
but it all led to a very lovely conversation where I told my relative I thought I was autistic (I'm self diagnosed atm so I don't tell anyone) and they accommodated me by letting me lay down in a dark room on my own with ear plugs. one of my relatives even admitted they had also been suspecting they were autistic which made me feel great! (the fact that autism is largely genetic and no one in my family seemed to have it made me doubt myself so much so finding out I wasn't the only family member who had traits was very validating!)
in the end it took me a good while to get back to my normal but the joy I experienced I would not trade for anything. that amount of joyous stimulation is not something I can do very often (probably once or at most twice a year) but it definitely was worth it and I totally understand everything you mentioned down to a T.
I discovered that I must be autistic just last month (applying do get a diagnosis now). Your description of how you prepare for a concert is something I have never ever heard of like that. But it is exactly what I do, researching everything in just that huge amount of detail...
💞
I also love really loud music, especially power metal. Putting it too loud on my headphones creates a bubble around me, helps me focus, helps me process my emotions. The right song can bring me to hyperfocus in no time. I think the overstimulation distracts my brain enough it stops overanalyzing, overfeeling, overthinking, overplanning, overpanicking… Loud, heavy music is my safe place ♥.
Before the concert of a band I have a special interest in, I make sure I know all the lyrics by heart so I can have the best experience. I overthink my equipment so I can move freely, not be too hot inside or too cold outside, how quickly, if I really need to go to the bathroom, I will be able to take it off and on so I don't miss a single second of it (I usually forget my body in the middle of it, but I always try to go during the breaks to make sure I won't be bothered by my basic needs, just in case).
If I am in the crowd, I will enter a frenzy where I will be able to scream and growl, jump for hours and ugly cry. I'm not supposed to have that kind of stamina, but I find it in me, it's like the music gives me strength. It's one of the few experiences I have where I actually feel connected to other people on a spiritual level, and it makes the crowd totally inoffensive. It feels like I'm a different person, because I can even become sociable, I am very present but I am floating, I feel vulnerable and invincible at the same time. I'm basically high on music. It's an amazing feeling I wouldn't trade for the world.
When I'm seated with other people, I will usually be able to mask until the music starts, and them I'll go to hyperfocus mode. I can't frenzy because I can't jump, but I'll scream, headbang while half crouched on myself and forget there are people with me. At the same time, I will hear the whole crowd scream the lyrics I cherish and it will give me a sense of belonging, and I'll ugly cry again :D.
When everything is finished, I like to keep introverted for a while. I'm exhausted, I feel light in my head and body. I'm able to function, but in a daze, and I already crave the concert feeling that just wore off. Concerts are the only « social » experience I actually missed during the pandemic…
(That's probably oversharing, sorry for that ^^')
I can look back and see how this pattern has showed up for me many times especially when it comes to traveling.
I love concerts too! I like to either be standing all the way in front or I want to sit. I can’t really be in the middle of a standing pit, nor at the back. So I always make sure that I stand in line early if I’m standing. Concerts and going to the cinema are the friendliest ‘fun’ things that I can do and fully enjoy. I find that if I ‘cry my joy out’ when I’m experiencing it, the recovery time is way shorter. The catharsis means that my nervous system doesn’t linger in the excitement, so that I only have to catch up on the physical energy that I spend, not so much the sensory or the mental.
Thank you for a great video and channel ❤ I love loud music too. I feel like my brain gets “high” when i hear a specific combination of notes and sounds, so i use music a lot to regulate my mood, motivate myself and process emotions i can’t express properly. I love to sing, but it is noisy and i live in an apartment building, so i can’t sing at home and i am too exhausted to be part of a choir. Music gives me so much joy i hope i will be able to start playing the piano again, as i did as a child.
Autistic joy every time I go to a Disney park ❤ I'm sure I will feel the same on my show in Nashville!
I totally get the concert elation, it's the same for me. I've traveled all over the world to see my favorite bands and artists - sometimes on my own - and it's been mind blowing every time. Nothing else ever made me feel so free.
Unfortunately my chronic burnout prevents me from attending any shows nowadays and I haven't been to one for 10 years, but I'm forever grateful for all the experiences I got to have. ❤
sounds like you have some pretty great memories to reflect back upon
I'm the same when it comes to concerts (sometimes), and especially loud music. I absolutely love screamo rock music (have since I was young) and I blare it in my truck to and from work everyday. It really helps me relax, and it helps quiet down my mind enough to where I do some of my clearest thinking during that time.
I used to listen to that genre in high school and I still really like it! Agree it can be very therapeutic.
I’ve had some major self-doubt about my autism, because I do like concerts and the experience. Lana Del Rey was magical and she completely swept me off my feet. Every time I go to 311, I am completely in this zone we’re time almost stops especially when someone is nice enough to share their w**d. It’s otherworldly. I went to Britney Spears and *NSYNC as a kid. My mom said I was just really quiet the entire time and didn’t take my eyes off the stage. I immerse myself In those moments and didn’t ever find myself overwhelmed until AFTER the concert. That’s when I’ve experienced the shutdown and needing to recover. I’m glad to know this isn’t something that negates an autism diagnosis! Thank you so much for posting this.
I'm an autistic muscian who performs solo at a local farmer's market about once a month. I love performing for people, and I always feel heard and appreciated after I play. I've never felt so much joy - but during my sets all I hear are the missed notes and other mistakes all performers make ocassionally. No one notices in the audience, but it feels HUGE to me, and I'm exhausted by the end of my long (3 hour) solo performances, and I usually feel like I didn't play well, even with all love and support I get from audiences.
It got so bad a while back that I almost stopped performing. Then I started recording myself with my phone and a good microphone for quality control and marketing purposes. It was like watching and hearing someone else play. Someone GOOD!
Sure, he made mistakes here and there, but, uh, that guy on the video was GREAT!
It's really something to see and hear yourself doing something you love but are insecure about from another perspective. I was just like you before I learned to play guitar and sing and perform. I loved music, and worshiped musicians like they were gods and godesses. Music means evenrything to me, and playing that guitar and singing about my pain and confusion (I was undiagnosed / misdiagnosed at the time) saved me from a very dark place several years ago.
Now, I have even more respect for musicians. Especially pros like Taylor Swift who are under incredible pressure to perform day in and out for years and years.
Anyway, after a perfomance I need a couple of days or more to reset - no matter how well it went. It's a very intense, stressful, joyful, and healing experience that simply takes time to process and return to my emotional baseline afterwards. I experienced the same thing at the conclusion of each quater in architecture school 35 years ago (I'm also an architect) and at the end of each semester when I was teaching architecture as a college professor for 15 years until my undiagnosed autism shut all that down for good 10 years ago.
The emotional aspects of Autism are intense. I'm alexithymic. That made powerful emotions very frightening and confusing pre-diagnosis. Now, I say to myself "Relax: It's just autism..." and I roll with my powerful indescribable feelings instead of freaking out and melting down over them. For the most part anyway.
You are doing great work here.
Thanks so much for your comment. :)
@@MomontheSpectrum I gather you are a musician and a former teacher also from your channel. I really appreciate the video you did a while back about why you stopped teaching. I did it for 15 years, and it almost killed me.
I'm serious.
Same problems you describe - sensory issues with flourescent lighting, and social issues with colleauges and especially adminstrators. Eventually I completely shut down, burning every bridge in the process, selling everything that wouldn't fit on my sailboat, and sailing away to Mexico in 2012 with my (autistic) girfriend - who I'm still with, and love very much.
If only I'd known back then what the problem was. I'm 58 now, and I started teaching full-time in my early 30s. Architecture offices were no better.
Except for Walt Disney Imagineering.
I worked there for a couple of years (and taught architecture on the side part time) in the mid 90s. Disney was the only autism freindly place I ever worked. It was amazing!
(They know where their bread is buttered! most of the people I worked with there were, uh, you know....different. Non conformists and artists obesessed with Disney characters and theme parks and rides and shows and all that =)
I quit Disney - and no one quits Disney - to go after a full time teaching position because I after two years I got bored of being an AutoCAD production monkey for The Mouse. I'm an artist, not a technical drone, and I figured teaching architecture at a community college full-time would allow me to help more people, and give me the intellectual and creative freedom I yearned for, along with a flexible schedule.
It did those things for me, but at far too high a price. I felt like an utter failure when it all came crashing down around me.
I simply couldn't do it anymore, and the worst part was not know WHY =(
For a decade I struggled and searched and kept trying different things. Fine art photography. Architecture as a sole practitioner which was OK, but still way too stressfull for a sensitive (responsive) autistic polymath.
In the middle of it all, at my lowest point, I bought a guitar, and devoted myself to playing it and studying music. Every single day. For hours and hours. For 5 years I didn't miss a single day. I took my instrument with me everywhere.
I suspect most dedicated muscians are autistic. The good ones anyway. Music perfect for atusic people. Paul over at Autism from The Inside just did a video about his interest in progressive Metal music.
Music allows us to disassociate from our environments and social groups in positive ways. It requires intense, prolongned and focused study and practice routines. It requires a LOT of repetition and careful listening and sensitive hearing, and a measure of perfectionism the architect inside me has immense respect for.
In the case of of playing steel string acoustic guitar, playing music actually hurts.
In a good way. I'm almost 8 years into my musical journey now, and I've loved every single minute of it. As long as I have my guitar in my hands, I know there is beauty and goodness in the world. Amazingly, I can summon it!
...and I'm seen, heard, and understood.
Finally!
=)
I can relate to this so much!! I had a similar experience at a recent Muse concert, I'd been wanting to see them for a whole decade and finally was able to see them. My appetite and sleep was affected even months in advance because I was freaking out about how I was gonna get there, parking, what was allowed to be brought in, etc. I had a euphoric experience and then afterwards I was so drained, my friends forced me to go to a bar and I was nearly having a meltdown from trying to process the concert, I was exhausted, thirsty, hungry, and worried about getting home. On my way home I had heart palpitations the entire time, until I finally laid down in my bed. It took me a few days afterwards until I could do anything other than think about the show and sit online to find pictures and videos of it!
I've just come to the realization-very recently-that I'm autistic after 46 years of living with it. When I was in my teens and 20s, concerts were the only real social outings I didn't dread. I think was because I knew no one was paying attention to me. We were all there for the band, and we all had a common passion, namely the band we were there to see. It really was the only time I felt human, connected to the people around me, even total strangers. Coming down off that would leave me numb, drained and exhausted for days.
Concert elation is a thing. I fell in love with Pentatonix about 7.5 years ago now and it’s definitely been one of my longest special interests (I also have ADHD so most special interests are fleeting) and I am just so much in my happy place when I go to one of their shows and it usually takes me few days to come down from the “high” of it all.
I also find a lot of peace from just sitting and listening to super loud music. It’s definitely something that regulates me.
Pentatonix is also one of my special interests! So much autistic joy from seeing them live
@@teresafoo YES!! And it’s so easy for the obsession to just grow after seeing them live. They are such beautiful humans with beautiful hearts!
This is pretty standard for everybody of any neurotype tho, innit?
How do you create such nuance in your voice. I'm jealous. Your voice is beautiful. That is what my voice sounds like to me, when I hear myself in a recording it is like a drone.
I love that you referenced heartbreak high. It's such good representation
It’s so nice that we finally have a positive representation!
I have had many experiences like this, but I will say that perhaps the most impactful one-and honestly the closest to your experience, in my opinion!-was a twenty øne piløts concert in Milwaukee back in 2018 (like your friend, I'm also in Wisconsin!). First time seeing them, and my twin sister won these "press conference" meet-and-greet passes, and the era was especially focused on outfits and such. Also, I think there's a good reason that there's a sizable overlap between Taylor Swift fans and twenty øne piløts fans-it's the symbols, the connections, and the genius and creativity that goes into all of it. We did do a whole bunch of researching before, especially with how engrossed we both were with it all when we first discovered the secret narrative the year before, but receiving, researching, and preparing for the meet-and-greet passes was what was very close to the event. The delayed processing was incredibly real with that (it usually is, but so much more this time), so I'm glad we took video, pictures, etc.!
Thanks for sharing, and hope you're still recuperating/processing okay!
I find the hand roller SO good for releasing pent-up energy. I particularly love it when it's cold. The coolness feels soothing and a release valve for agitation or tension.
✔️If I could stick my entire head inside my speakers when I blast my music, I totally would. AuDHD female, age 57.
I'm so envious that you can still go to bigger concerts. It used to give me so much joy throughout my childhood but for the past 6 or 7 years I've not been able to deal with the light shows that are part of many bigger concerts :/ I've not even been able to deal with going to the cinema anymore 😔
I'll be trying to go to a smaller concert in a month and I'm already slightly worried 😐
Yeah, so about loud music, i think if you for example like asmr, thats a big tell on neurodivergence. The most relaxing activity was ‘lice day’ where they would check whether you had lice in your hair at school, or i was fortunate enough to get a few massages, some of them from my mother. I would absolutely love those. It was my favorite way to fall asleep.
To relate this back to music, it is often hard to transition from ‘active brain’ to brain shutdown, and during the day you’re just bombarded with stimuli. Loud music helps to shut it down temporarily. Im on a continuous quest to find more ways to shut down the brain
Beautiful mama. I am self diagnosed autistic. I always wondered why i struggled with maintaining jobs, keeping friends, emotational instability and maintaining eye contact to name a few
I get so much joy from Owl City and Star Wars. I just learned that Owl City was back and couldn't stop listening to the new album. I got myself tickets to his concert this October and I can't wait. I also get way too excited over Star Wars, especially Mandalorians, so the new season has been amazing. I have way too many special interests though.
I absolutely understand loud music. Nothing makes me happier than playing my favorite songs loudly on a speaker or during a bath. It feels like I can get out of my head and just enjoy myself. I love concerts until it's over and I crash and can't function the next week.😆
owl city is awesome!! so glad you also get joy from these things like i do
There are actually suspicions Adam Young (Owl City's real name) is autistic.
Yes! Star Wars is soooo awesome! I jump up and down and flap my hands every time a new episode of the Mandalorian comes out!
OMG - that planning mode you describe is me! I love to travel, but I think I have more "fun" in the months, weeks, days working up to the trip. However, any monkey wrenches kind of freak me out... like when the restaurant in the airport is closed for some expected reason. Very difficult to rebound and change the plan... usually don't eat if that happens. :(
On another note, I really love loud music on my headphones but not in the room thru speakers. When I'm working, the headphones make the music seem like it's coming from my brain and it increases the creative flow. It's like the music keeps my brain busy while I'm thinking and creating. Does anyone else have this sensation?
I am so happy for you to exist, think , feel and express such inner thoughts in such a clear way so that we may glean life changing wisdom
I just love going to concerts for all the reasons you mention. I definitely need some recovery time depending on the concert. Music has always been a passion of mine and my daughter is the same. We go to a number of concerts a year and it’s such a great shared experience.
I have only been to three different concerts before, but i was lucky to go to one of my recent favorite bands last month and holy shit i have never danced, screamed, sung so much in front of anyone before! I completely lost myself to the music and danced with my partner and a friend of a friend who happened to stand with us haha!
My partner was almost crying, because he had never seen me act so free and happy! It was a heavy metal/electronic band so we where able to just scream and sing, jump and dance and it was the most magical night ever! (the crowd was encouraged to take part in the whole show and the venue was small, so it felt super intimate and safe!)
I was a train wreak the days after but, the high of the concert was with us for 2 weeks, and i am still smiling just thinking about it! I'm so glad i got snippets of most songs so i can see them again and feel the joy
While the band is playing, and everyone is focused on that two-way energy, and it's music that I really love, I can transcend the overwhelm from all the chaotic input off-stage. Occasionally I have to leave early. But yes, music, playing / listening / concerts is my primary special interest, and I love bass loud enough to thump my chest hard.
I'm glad you got to do something that brings you so much joy!
Thank you Whitney!
I am self-diagnosed, and resonate soooo strongly with everything you are saying. Thanks for sharing your experience. I would say what brings me the most joy is beauty in music and perfect harmony between all the parts that make a music production flow. One of my most favorite experiences was seeing La Boheme in Vienna. I’m a classical pianist (piano teaching is my main gig, but I have 20 years of accompanying experience as well), and it is RARE for all the parts of an opera to come together in a harmonious, perfect way. Maybe the singing is great, but set design is awful, or acting is bad. La Boheme was perfect in EVERY way. Also, I LOVE playing music loudly so I can literally *feel* it. ❤
That's amazing! I love getting the chills from these moments. I just had the experience of autistic joy (I'm not formally diagnosed though) recently, when I heard a performance of Beethoven's 5th Symphony for solo piano, transcribed by Franz Liszt. The pianist was amazing and he even did live improvisations during the concert (more joy!). I love classical performances a lot especially because I'm really sensitive to noise, and it feels like a really respectful and safe environment.( I like loud music, but not lots of screaming, crazy people.)
We're going to Disneyland this summer and I'm so excited! I've been watching a ton of videos and reading stuff about Disneyland and I just get little bursts of happiness about it. I have no idea how I'll be once there, since I don't know if I'll mask or not, but I can't wait.
I experienced wriggle-in-my-seat joy at 1) the connection that one of the people I follow is also a Taylor fan and "gets" it (after playlist nr countless, my friends have grown a bit weary in supporting my TS enthusiasm), 2) the fact that you got to attend, and 3) that you managed to finally verbalised WHY I like TS so much - many reasons, but the buffet of connections especially :D
Omg! I never thought this niche of a YT video could exist!! 😍I am obssessed with Taylor Swift! Have been for years! I have been wondering about this exact topic for a while now: how to be an autistic die-hard Swiftie, who's biggest dream in the world is to see Taylor Swift live during her Eras Tour, & survive the leadup (with ALL the planning, just like you mentioned & more!) & the inevitable aftermath. The fact that your're in a crowd with over ~75,000 other people, gives me major anxiety just thinking about it! 😱Thank you for sharing this experience with us! I'd love to know in more detail how you would have planned this event (with at least a few weeks notice vs last minute). Any tips are welcome! As a recent subscriber, I just wanted to say I love your channel Taylor! x
I never imagined that I might have autism, but watching your channel is making me seriously wonder if I may be somewhere on the spectrum. I always pictured hyperfixation as little boys obsessed with trains etc, but as I’m coming to understand it better I relate to intensely. This video hit me so hard. I feel this way with books/movies and I’ve always felt stupid because of the incredible impact these things have on me. Like, recently I went to see a movie in theaters and I loved it so much that I ended up going to see it six times in eight days, read the book it was based off of and wrote a bunch of fanfic for it all in that window of time. The movie was set in the Great Depression era, so I immediately ran through fourteen hours worth of audiobooks about Depression era economics just to stay in the headspace that that movie put me in. The whole thing made me so euphorically happy, but it’s also such an intense fixation that it can be exhausting when it all keeps going around and around my head nonstop, but at the same time the idea of being taken out of that headspace is incredibly uncomfortable.
I have always felt so ridiculous and honestly kind of ashamed of this sort of behavior. It makes me so incredibly happy to know that other people have a similar experience and I’m not crazy or silly for feeling/behaving this way.
wow the same things happen to me. It wasn't exactly joy, but I had to do a presentation at my daughter's school and this is outside of my normal routine and good lord I was a complete mess before and after the presentation. A week before I was panicking, having night sweats, just freaking out, even though I knew it wasn't a huge deal. I had burning chest and palpitations too and I also made a doctors appointment because I thought I was dying. My whole entire world was upside down for 2 weeks.
I CANNOT WAIT TO WATCH THIS VIDEO I SEE YOU AND TAYLOR SWIFT and AUTISM and AUTISTIC JOY and I COULDN’T BE MORE EXCITED OMG
hahaha i love the energy in this comment. sending love!!
@@MomontheSpectrum right back at you!! Haha there is a lot of energy in it lol
I definitely have Autistic Joy. I love When I go out to eat with my family. Or when I go to visit my sister or visit my brother or when my sister comes visit me. Or when my brother comes to visit me. Or when my sister takes me to Hersheypark every year. I love Hersheypark. I am 38 years old. And I am a male. And I am a disabled person. And I am on the Autism spectrum I have PDD-NOS. And I am 5'0 feet tall. i live in the united states of America. I live in Waynesboro, Pennsylvania. I live on the east coast.
Thanks for sharing!
@@MomontheSpectrum your very welcome.
Me and my daughter both experience music the same and its so cathartic but we have opposite feelings for concerts...me i feel like being in the middle of so many people regardless of our real life differences, at that time moment we are all one big ball of energy and love for the music. And i FEEL the music, the lyeics, the energy of the band...especially my number 1 favorite band Shinedown. The closer I am and being in the crowd feels like im being hugged in a way that's way mcre safe and comfortable than someone actually hugging me. My daughter loves seeing the bands she loves but doesn't want to be on the crowd or close to the stage. And recently when her favorite band Black Veil Brides announced their tour so i checked in about going and she told me she doesn't want to do indoor venues anymore regardless if its her favorite band or not.
Happy to hear you have a precious life memory to hold onto! ❤🎉
Music is my absolute life-blood and the last live concert was Tina Turner's final goodbye tour marking 60 years entertaining. My long time gypsy friend, since the late 80s, invited me at no cost, and I drove. What a fantastic night! She's one-of-a-kind! The whole stadium was buzzing and like you, I was loud and jump'n lol!! An added bonus Tina's a Nichiren buddhist from the mid-70s (ironically so is my ex lol). I often meditate to chant Nam-myoho-renge-kyo
Guess what my first live concert was? (yeah, I'm older lol) Loverboy band 😅 🎶Heaven In Your Eyes 🎶
This is so relatable!!! I would always be completely wrecked after attending concerts when I was younger- to the point of dreading the event, despite wanting to go. Very hard to describe. I plan to go to The Era's tour and watch tons of footage online. It's helping to create a blueprint of what to expect, so I can watch the show without expending all my mental energy and becoming completely overwhelmed at the moment. I'm still expecting a few days of recovery time though!
This was so affirming to watch, thank you so much. My nervous system has been in overdrive and seemingly on the verge of breakdown for the past few weeks-there are lots of transitions happening for me right now, some tough and some that I'm genuinely super excited about. That layering has sent me nearly over the edge in a way that I don't think NTs really experience.
Also..."research mode"....are you kidding meeeeeee, that's the first I've ever heard that phrase and my head went 🤯 I'm in research mode all the time about everything and it feels so exciting and is also soooo deeply draining!!! Sometimes I question whether I should find ways to gently pull myself out of that mode before I'm running on empty, or at least recognizing when that's about to happen.
I’m so glad you made this video! I just got back from my honeymoon and have spent the whole week exhausted, but can’t sleep, can’t get out of bed for work, wondering what the heck is wrong with me. I’ve been practicing self care and taking it easy, but thought I “should” feel better by now. it’s so validating to hear that this might be more than a day (or more than a week!) and that’s FINE.
I’m not diagnosed with Autism, but I do feel like I exhibit a lot of the symptoms. I am Diagnosed with ADHD though. Ive had those feelings of excitement exactly how you described it. I would have bouts where I would get into fandoms for YEARS and absolutely obsess over them. I had found a song from one of the fandom that filled me with like this intense joy and it’s like I could physically feel it, but at the same time it would make me cry from happiness and from it being too overwhelming! This is why I have a love and hate relationship with fandoms. But music really does that to me and I’m an incredibly musical person so, I can’t live without music! If had an option to not expedite that intense happiness, I still would because, it’s so lovely but at the same time overwhelming
I have been going back and forth for a month about buying era tour tickets not due to the price but due to the health price! I am so thankful for you and this video
Taylor, I just have to say every time I watch one of your videos, I am overcome with joy and relief and overwhelming emotion. I always felt like such an alien growing up well into my late twenties. Much like you, I’m the mother of two in my thirties and married to a NT man and I’ve always just felt like something was wrong with me. I’ve not been diagnosed as autistic (I was always the girl who was described as odd and too mature for my age and socially awkward). Listening to you speak, watching your mannerisms, hearing your stories all make me feel like I’m not alone in my experience and it is very comforting to know that even though we are totally different people, we have similar experiences and understanding of this crazy world and that makes me feel a lot less lonely.
I’m am late in life discovery, still in the ’how did I and so many people missed it?’ stage. But your breakdown of the prep, the event itself, and the many consequences that happen to me near exactly. I didn’t know that it was okay that one large event might take weeks for me to get back to feeling better.
Without too much info dump- Although it went unnoticed my family circumstances armed me with the same skills, tips, how to read people, how to find the correct words for any situation, techniques for when you can’t. Psychology, sociology, first responder methodology, the list is long
Which is why without realizing it I had developed my own techniques so I too could attend something large but in a way that allowed me to enjoy it while part of my brain was simply on autopilot. I went in cosplay. For the most part people may say they like the outfit, some real fans may ask for a picture but in my mind I tell myself it’s the character, not me.
Then for the most part people leave you alone, because of the initial reaction whether then they chuckled or rolled their eyes, doesn’t matter. Most people will then put you in their brains as part of the event, and tend to give you a slightly wider berth all due to the cosplay. At that point I can then enjoy the experience with very little interaction. (And if you do get someone who is as big a fan as you are dressed, then it’s a easier way to make friends. I mean if they’ve talking about a specific scene, you clearly share at least one thing in common. There may be more.)
Which is why I always tell people to go with someone they identify with. Before I was aware but I see now is that all of my outfits are characters who were able to speak and be strong. When dressed up, part of the point is to remain in character. I couldn’t say something but dressed up as say Black Widow, I would find myself getting quite mouthy, in a fun way.
So only use this little tip if like myself, you found solace in the super-hero worlds. Pick someone you like, who cares if it’s popular, this is about making you feel more comfortable in that environment.
And yes, I do see the ridiculousness that I completely missed I had been literally masking upon a mask I didn’t even know was there until Feb. of this year.
Thank you for posting this I really needed to see this one as I have been upset with myself and pushing too hard.
Now I feel better expressing my needs to others. It’s a process I know but the baby steps help so much. Thank you, truly.
Also I totally bought a ONO roller based off of your recommendation alone and dear lord is it a life saver. It is so satisfying and smooth, everyone should get one in my opinion. Not just us stimming.
thanks for sharing your experience here! And also SO glad you love the ONO roller! It's the BEST!
I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety since I was a young girl, and more recently OCD and CPTSD. But the more I learn about autism, the more I suspect I may be on the spectrum. I’m currently trying to find someone to test me for it. And I’m 55 years old! I related to probably 90% of what you described in this video. If I’m not autistic, I definitely believe I’m neurodivergent in some way, just not sure what way. Tysm for this video. I found it very interesting and helpful!
Similarly passionate about music, I doubled down and became a concert photographer for several years. That's a completely different experience in that one is hyperfocused on a technical task in a challenging, dynamic environment, so I was insulated against the overwhelm one otherwise expects as a fan/spectator (which I still experience if I'm not shooting.) I always had a long commute to venues via public transit so the late-night post-concert trek home offered the perfect chill-out setting for sensory comedown/transition (and listening to other music seems to be my best "hair of the dog" cure for any lingering effects in the days following a show, e.g. after a blistering metal gig I may listen to classical for a week.)
Hi, thanks for your videos, I’m learning heaps. I was late diagnosed and didn’t know I should be stimming. I just naturally assumed if I’d managed to learn to partially control it I should stay that way, but am always still stopping myself. It’s such a relief to hear I shouldn’t be trying to stop but in fact it’s helpful to me. I thought it was but thought that’s just me excusing it. I want one of those rollers, they look great! 😊 Thanks again
NT dad of ND 10 yo. Both loving TS. Awesome insight. Thank you, this helps our whole family 🙏
The desire to "practice" or plan before going to something I even enjoy SPEAKS to me SO much. As a kid, I actually tried to make myself NOT do this because it was hard when things didn't live up to my expectations. Now I try embrace the joy of planning. I also need to find your videos about eating disorders. I developed BED.
So.. I've been trying to look online but I haven't found anything.. but part of me is convinced that Taylor is autistic as well. Her skills are so exceptional. she is SO talented and her ability to perform and jump into any role is just remarkable. She is a brilliant lyricist and the depth and hidden meanings are so incredible. All her little hints and easter eggs etc.. are just SO brillient and clever. And lets not forget when you watch her in interviews.. she is so awkward and goofy.. (so endearing).. I'm honestly just convinced she might be on the spectrum as well. ^_____^ absolutely love her and I experience autistic joy with her songs.
I experienced a very rare and huge amount of autistic joy today! The final incredible trailer for Tears of the Kingdom came out, a game I've been excited about for over four years, and is a huge part of my online community. The game is coming out next month, and both you and my therapist today have reminded me that something this important to me is worth taking to time to enjoy properly! I'm going to cancel all of my non-critical appointments the week it comes out!
Concerts are too overwhelming for me, but I /totally/ get immersing yourself in loud music, almost to kind of reboot your system and match the energy that you're currently experiencing. That concert sounded like a once in a lifetime experience and I'm so glad you gave that to yourself!
Oh hey another Zelda Fan :D I am very excited for the new Game too, I absolutely loved breath of the wild! This year was full of great new Games for me until now, almost a bit overwhelming 😂
@@mableleaf2445 Ooh yay, always happy to meet another Zelda fan! Yes, BotW was one of the most unique gaming experiences I had and I fell in love with everything about it. This year has had a lot of great games, and I've finally gotten around to playing some that are a bit older too! Which ones in particular have been enjoying/looking forward to?
@@LoveCrumb Hm... My Most Special one ist definately Hogwarts legacy, I am a huge Harry Potter Fan and I love it soooo much, there is so much Detail and Love in this game! Although it's a little bit older I played medieval dynasty very, very hard 😂 40h in not even two weeks are a new record, but I got totally addicted 🙈
@@mableleaf2445 Omg same!! Harry Potter was everything to me when I was younger, it was definitely a very obsessive special interest, and I still adore the books now (JK Rowling on the other hand... D: ). I'm 33, so I grew up in prime Harry Potter time. I've been waiting for Hogwarts Legacy to come out on Switch to play it, but it's basically the dream game for the fans, right? I'm so excited to discover all of Hogwarts' secrets and I'm glad you're enjoying it so much! I've never even heard of Medival Dynasty, but it looks cool!
@@LoveCrumb Haha I'm 31! 😄 I read Harry Potter first when I was ten years old an I was hoping so much to receive a Letter 🙈 but I feel you regarding JKR. The Game definately exceeded all my expectations, it is nearly a perfekt Game for me and will be one I will Play definately more than once in my life 😊 I Wish you a lot of fun when it is available on the Switch 🤗
What you were saying about having to take a long time to recover from the event and how it affects your nervous system really brought something home for me.
I’ve come to believe that I am autistic in the last three months or so, but I’ve been calling myself neurodivergent for the last twelve months. Seven years ago, my husband and I, along with our 3yo and 11mo moved interstate. It was one of the hardest, most traumatic events I’ve been through. As the furniture left to go on the truck and I was left with less and less routine, I got more and more distressed. I had a rather public meltdown on the day we moved into our new house when I missed the cues I was being given to arrange lunch for everyone. I don’t remember the month after we moved.
Looking back with hindsight, I can say no wonder my brain processed the event as a trauma. I was ripped out of routine, Forced to function as a mother, and then attempt to hit the ground running without an established safe space. (But I made it 😊)
You are so talented at putting your experience to worlds in a way that is very relatable, and I'm appreciative for the acceptance it helps us all feel in the community.
I'm taking care of my geriatric parents full time and I'm trying to come up with recovery options that cost very little or nothing, as finances are very fickle. Most of mine include getting outside when possible.
I've experienced so much autistic joy when interacting with animals, especially the chances to get deep into the wild and see some elusive creatures ❤
Oh wow, I had not put it together before, meaning the effects really nice experiences have on me after the fact. I think i experience this or something similar, plus being sad the "good feelings are gone" and don't know when they'll happen again. I usually refer to my experience of it of "the post-fun depression." That feeling of mental peace and enjoying an experience is one of my favorite things ever, but they consistently exhaust me in many many ways. Physically, mentally, emotionally, + for some reason, grieving the fact that it's over.
I was in college our hockey team had struggled for years surprise year we made it against the bigger school we were supposed to lose to. You guessed it we won. I was into every shot and enjoying the moment. Then afterwards other fan's went out to celebrate. Once there I had the worst stomach pain due to sensory overload. I felt so sick that I couldn't walk back to the car. I ended up hanging out at the hotel lobby gassyon my back.
Problem about autistic joy: it makes the activity itself less interesting for me. If i am loving going on holiday for example, but i know i cant be productive afterwards for a few days in transition, i am very harsh and subtract the incapacitation from the utility of the event. I therefore for example tend to go out less, but i also apply this to shows, vacations, gatherings etc. Usually i don’t say no when other people come, but it makes me less inclined to look for these events, which has side effects
thanks for sharing your experience here 💓
I have never identified more with this! I absolutely LOVE live concerts and totally get the body-mind disconnect I get from attending them. My husband and I are attending a two day concert this fall, and I’ve already started planning for it 😊
There is so much I want to say and if I wait to find all the best words so I’m jumping in. My 11 yo daughter is high function autistic. I know this channel is for adults w autism. However I want you to know it is helping me so much. I am aching to understand my daughters world. And adults who have words and reflection are my only hope. I watch your videos to help me be a better parent. I was considering attending your on line workshop but I don’t want to be an “ on looker” or offend. I would love to be in your fb group that comes w the workshop but I again want to respect the space. Please advise. And your content is a game changer for parents of young autistic girls in addition to all you are doing for adults. Thank you for doing this - literally a life saver Karole
I love this video!! My best friend and I managed to get tickets and are going to see Taylor in June. We've both been fans of her for a long time, but I've never seen her live and this will be the biggest concert I've ever been to by far. Finding your channel helped me finally realize, at 26, that I'm almost definitely on the spectrum and my best friend suspects that she could be as well, we're both thoroughly planning and anticipating the heck out of this big joyful event!
I definitely experience a ton of autistic joy/depletion/nervous system-disrupting like you've described all the time, for special days, events, or to a lesser degree even just watching a really good movie (movies/classic film is a big special interest of mine). My birthday is also coming up on Sunday so this is timely food for thought to be mindful of how I'm feeling and giving myself compassion and space to recover from emotional days.
I like going to heavy metal concerts but I take what I call human anchors with me. When I go I have to know where there's an area with few or no people if things get to be too much. You touch on many great things in this video. I often turn work into a special interest and forget to eat or drink. I have put in place alarms with songs I gravitate to in order to bring me back to the world. I've gotten myself in trouble many times from skipping food and water. Towards the end of your video it had me thinking about the Energy Accounting Method. My next video I'm set to upload is on this.
Thanks for starting a channel.
I am the same as you, love loud music and love just driving around listening to music really loud. Love feeling the music intensely through my whole body. I was diagnosed 2 years ago at age 35. Been struggling with it so much, and have realized that I haven't felt that deep autistic joy in years. I don't know how to get back to it.
Great, i was diagnosed at 54! omg life, school, jobs, the loss of knowing, but all that you have said, 100% thanks.
I can get this way after a great vacation or after going through a challenging experience, whether good or bad. I didn’t realize that part of that is delayed processing. One weird thing that appears to help me is actually Benadryl. If I take it at night after an intense experience, it can help me sleep deeply and let go of the experience instead of looping over it in my mind.
Loud music is my thing too. When I was about 11 or 12, My parents needed to find a way to help me keeps my hands busy. I "Had too much nervous energy". Now, it helps me immensely, to be able to go and play along to whatever is driving me at the time. I get lost in the music, and have created a fully immersive experience for both Myself, and my adult son who is also on the spectrum.
I feel the need to insert some side context here, because my brain likes to connect the things I am thinking about, to OTHER things that are related when I try and process a thought lol. I call this the 7 degrees of separation effect, and I'll stop elaborating on that one now, so as not to find my way too deep into the rabbit hole of thought.
My special interests being Music, electronics and electronics design (amongst many many others) and his special interests being music, sound, lighting, broadcast, and STAGE. So we decided to create a space we can feel free to listen loud, and fully immerse. Now, He, being the same as me, needs to know everything about a venue, a stage, light setup, crew, trusses, cranes, the works. Research never ends, however it's a passion, not a chore.
Serato (My son) will re-create entire venues in Roblox ( a game for the unaware), wherein he has recreated actual venues, studios and stages from actual events, down to the individual instruments, taking care that even their physical knob placement, text, and function are all present. To take it a step further, there venues are logically connected and actually work. He can DJ music, control the lighting, the works. He DJ's concerts etc in game, and has people buy the virtual hardware that he has created. It is really quite fascinating.
Anyway, point being, we setup a fully immersive experience in out basement. We procured an analog recording console ( so he can learn proper audio engineering, mixing, mastering and producing) and setup large loud speakers, microphones and most recently, in ear monitors so we can hear ourselves play over the backing track. Be it Taylor Swift or otherwise. We setup 2 drum sets ( so we can play together), A piano, A guitar, all the little shaker eggs, tambourines and percussion stuff.
Picture this if you will: You put your headphones in, cue up your favorite track, whether it's to drive you, or to ground you, and hit play. You FEEL the loud THUMP in your back. You also feel it in your body via you butt ( I put a tactile transducer the drum throne). Before you know it, you are enveloped in sound, the lights come on and the fog and lasers come on and create a dazzling aura of light and sound. Then, you get to experience the music from the inside. Just thinking about it makes my heart race.
This is such an interesting and relatable autistic experience! It made me reflect on how I first discovered I was autistic:
I was dancing at a loud concert in a mosh pit. It was a very fun and cathartic experience! But after all the sensory input and the socializing without giving myself recovery time, I had a big meltdown with a lot of uncontrollable stimming. This was very difficult at the time because I felt a lot of shame around stimming.
Thankfully, the experience helped me seek an autism diagnosis and now I stim proudly!
It is good for me to be aware of how even things that bring me intense joy can take a lot out of me and require ample recovery time. Thanks for helping me understand this more :)
Regarding the Ono Roller: I have Raynaud's, makes my extremities very sensitive to cold. I got the mini plastic roller which is great for me. I wouldn't be able to use the metal ones even at room temperature in the winter but I can use the plastic one. So just throwing that out there in case someone else has that same issue.
I would have to give the joy things some thought. I know I have experienced it but I didn't know that's what I was experiencing until hearing your description. The part about processing things days or weeks later caught my attention. I've always had very strong, sometimes excessive reactions to things. Like I'm quite a bit older than you, and I can remember two very significant, very happy events from my teen years. One was the day I found out I was accepted to the place I went for high school, an arts magnet program, and the other was the day my mother told me she managed to get tickets for Prince. The Purple Rain tour. That was before you were born. With both of those, I was giddy for weeks.
As luck would have it, the joy on this side of it feels justified. The concert was incredible, and nearly 40 years on. I am still in regular contact with and even hang out with several of the people I went to high school with, and I've met so many more who also went to the same school. Some left before I ever got there. So to me it was definitely worth being extra excited for so long.
Very interested in what you said about the connection with delayed processing. I never made that link before and I'm wondering whether the same principle applies to why we find it so hard to come to terms with trauma and relive painful events for a very long time afterwards.
I really love metal concerts and this video really spoke to me. Thanks Taylor! I never understood why I felt so antisocial and irritable after going to a concert but this makes a lot of sense!
For me I can't get enough music though a lot of what I listen to would make many nervous. I take rage and it calms me. But Music is everything. Most of the shows I go to I know the bands, I take time to get to them online, and have many friends. Global. Right now it's great staying in touch with them on the road on European Tours they are on, while looking forward to hopefully meeting up when they return. In the middle of it I fit in crowds, I bring a camera. No one questions the camera folks that are polite :) And you get some great moments of many's lives and great performances to. The Show Must Go On!
I had no idea "research mode" was a thing, but it makes so much sense, and describes a great deal of what I do do for "special occasions" (like picking out an outfit and jewelry) and also what I don't do for non special occasions (like not doing that and not wearing any jewelry). I'm saving this video as a reference for that if nothing else.
I get lost in the planning and implementation of hangouts with friends, specifically the food and cleaning part, and also when making pies for Thanksgiving. I've slowly been getting better at dividing up the work, getting more help, and relaxing some standards, but it is hard. It's getting easier though.
I'm still feeling out how drained I feel after and navigating all of that. I wasn't really aware of how I felt about these things until a few years ago. Then I became aware that these things could be hurting me, and so I've slowly been paying all sorts of attention, gathering all sorts of data, and trying all sorts of new things.
I was at one of Taylor’s Dallas concerts too! I think I got almost too overwhelmed because as much as I did enjoy seeing it and it was an absolute dream come true, I cried the second she got onstage and after a couple of sets I could definitely feel myself dissociating and shutting down. This was not helped by the fact I wound up way more dehydrated than expected and they stopped selling water before I realized.
I’m not diagnosed or anything but I definitely suspect and this almost seals that because I didn’t react how I imagined/wanted to react to the experience. I typically am high energy at concerts but this was like nothing I’ve ever experienced, and was also my favorite artist of all time, and at some point after her Evermore set I reached a point of fatigue that just wouldn’t let me stay in the moment like I wanted to. I wish my brain hadn’t started to shut down on me during the concert, but I had a great time nonetheless!
The recovery period was about 2 weeks honestly. Day 1, I was a zombie and could barely even remember the concert and I was sooo disappointed. But after some rest and some time memories came back and got processed and it was such a good time and I can’t stop talking about it!
Love the video! So happy/jelly that you got to see T-Swizzle!! I actually got the rose gold ono roller from a previous vid you made, love it, but i have to be careful b/c for my own part, I have some issues with my hands, and I have to stretch a lot otherwise my hands cramp up lol.
My autistic joy is organizing things or helping people. I also love to listen to music while driving, I love to drive. Also, I'm the same way with planning. Always am planning stuff, and tbh, maybe that's what gives me joy. I literally am nonstop planning stuff, and it's a lot of fun. I like to create paths for myself, like, if I go back to school, where would I go, what would I major in at that school, where would I live, etc. It brings me a lot of joy. I guess organizing everything is my joy.
One day I was at the grocery store and a song that I loved, but hadn't heard in a while, came on. I was moving around a little bit and so happy to hear it that my autistic joy walked off with someone else's cart. We both had a laugh about it but it was a little embarrassing.
It's reassuring to hear about your experience with autism. I was also a late diagnosis, around 35 for me. We have similar coping strategies and preferences. My trouble seems to be validation. In the social and economic strata I occupy; our kind is not accommodated without first breaking stereotypes and educational barriers. I hope that your work will gain popularity outside of the community. You're photogenic and pleasant, unlike me. I suspect the racial / cultural barrier will be the most... challenging one for us.
Thank you for your work on UA-cam. I'm glad you were able to enjoy a Taylor Swift concert IRL. Bassnectar was a similar indulgence for me.
I haven't been able to fully enjoy a concert in years. Or perhaps never. But these past couple years it's been really bad (autistic burnout sucks). Sometimes to the point of me having tears streaming down my face and the feeling of wanting to get away. It makes me sad that I can't fully enjoy experiences like that.
i'm so sorry to hear this 💔
Please know that you aren't alone in that feeling and that this AuDHD gal out in Oregon hopes life feels lighter very soon.
I love concerts too! I know what to expect and I’m putting myself in the situation. It’s supposed to be loud. It’s immersive. The shared interest and camaraderie. I just love it. I didn’t get to see Taylor, but I did see the movie and, although not the same, it was still so great.
And I totally get research mode and prepping. I even have to look up the menu days before trying a new restaurant. ☺️
I love going to concerts it’s the best thing ever at least after I have my panic attack.
So glad you had a great experience. 😊
One of my greatest joys is the band Twenty Øne Piløts and their music. Their songs and albums are connected in such intelligent ways (and are predominantly about mental illness and coping with it from their perspective). They’ve had a storyline running throughout the last four albums, and their next album will be the conclusion of that storyline. They’ve invented characters throughout the albums, one of which is called Blurryface, representing their insecurities and doubts (you may have heard it in one of songs called Stressed Out, ‘cause that song was pretty popular).
Anyway, sorry I’ve rambled on, but yeah, they bring me joy. 😊
this is really so helpful. I went out dancing a few nights ago and it was wonderful but i've been struggling to do much of anything since then. Depletion is a word that fits really well. It helps so much to hear these relatable and nuanced experiences!
I have literally a long list in front of my computer because I need to plan carefully events. One of my special interests is cosplaying and getting ready for a comiccon to me can be very stressful, I feel the days before the date make me feel the worse like I almost don't want to go because so many things may go wrong... then I go and I'm so excited I barely had any sleep the night before, but once there it's like a big timer starts. I have only a few hours of pure and undiluted joy before I start feeling uncomfortable, before all the noise and people bumping into me start annoying me. I need a long shower and fall into almost a coma on the couch when I'm back and usually I go on a Saturday at events so I have all Sunday to feel better.
I'm so happy you got to experience this! I definitely relate to autistic joy. Thanks for a wonderful video!
i feel the exact same way about concerts !!! last year my bf and i went to a lot, including rammstein (my current special interest), my chemical romance and glass animals !!! i also just saw and met watsky (another special interest) last week, and that was a lot on my nervous system, still recovering from that. i ended up having a bit of a shutdown at the end, but it was worth it 😍
I can totally relate! And.....I'm totally jealous that you got to go to Taylor's concert!!! I'm 65 years old and I love Love LOVE Taylor Swift!!! Concerts are overwhelming for me.....too many people too close together. And yes I would have to know where the bathroom is and what food was available and where the exits are, and all of that. But I would LOVE to see Taylor in concert if I could be near the stage and not have to look at all the people behind me...LOL But I can definitely relate to what you shared 😊 Hugs....Janie
Voted “most joyful” in large christian sorority - because praise and worship is a special interest where I dance freely… also danced in studio whole childhood. Later, at 38 yr old - ASD dx. #joy #movement #dance
I wish I could experience joy. I dont think I've experienced it in nearly 20 years.