No, my asexuality wasn't a phase
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- Опубліковано 22 січ 2021
- [CW: brief mention of sexual violence] I've publicly gone through different many stages of understanding my asexuality, so I wanted tot talk through what these labels meant to me at different times.
Here are the ace creators I mentioned who have started conversations about sex and asexuality!
Evie Lupine: • Masturbation as an Ase...
Aaron Ansuini: • Why Do (Some) Asexuals...
Rowan Ellis: • Debunking Asexual and ...
Pronouns: they/them/theirs
Instagram and Twitter: @genderthrash
Facebook: / genderthrash
Want to support my content? Join my Patreon: / genderdeceiverclub
Want to tip me for my work? here's my ko-fi: ko-fi.com/milostewart
hey Milo! 👋 saw this on my TL and had to pop over and say hello, was not expecting to see my face in this at all! lol. Being able to sit in the uncertainty of attraction has been one of the most difficult parts of my journey, when the world expects you to just know and pick. But learning to be able to sit there and be okay is also so rewarding. Wishing you the best. 💜
Evie! it means so much to me that you commented! Sitting with uncertainty is something I really struggle with, too, and seeing you work through that has really helped me! Thank you for being so vocal about your experiences!
is this the coolest semi collab of 2021? it may be.
that velvet shirt is phenomenal on you
I'm always very amazed by your openness and vulnerability online. That takes a lot of confidence and I think it can be very helpful for many others who struggle with that.
I kinda realised that I don't experience sexual attraction, at least not within the realm of what's considered the norm through realising that I am not aromantic. I can't really explain what romantic attraction is as opposed to platonic attraction for example and I don't know why I feel this way yet I can definitely say that I experience romantic attraction to both of my partners. It's kinda like a gut feeling. And I don't have this gut feeling with sexual attraction.
Still I really like the graysexual label and it's the one I have been feeling most comfortable for the last 5 years.
OOh I resonate with this a lot!
I really needed to hear this. I know I really shouldn't use Tiktok because it's Not Good for my mental health, but I keep getting random posts coming up on my FYP about "asexual phases" / people characterising their past selves that identified that way as juvenile and naïve. It makes me feel so weird, especially as someone who feels like they've got no way of separating their ace identity from the hardcore break system I've got because of cPTSD. Overall there seems to be so much unwarranted judgment / stereotyping of asexuality that's also pretty trendy atm for people who identified that way in the past.
Wow, I'm not on that side of TikTok, and I hope that stays off my fyp LOL! Like, there's so much good LGBT educational content on there but naming a phase someone had attached to a label is really stigmatizing language that affects the wider community. We can normalize the experience of previously using labels that didn't accurately describe you without that needing to be called a 'phase'
I appreciate you teaching me just a little bit more about the ASE world! No, you're not thinking too much into it. Investigating and understanding oneself is very helpful for forging authentic and honest connections with the right people. When you don't know yourself well you can get into all kinds of messy situations with partners. Knowing yourself is like getting ahead of problems before there is even one. I say dig deeper and keep digging, it's always worth doing!
I really appreciate this reflection!
I'm asexual, and in the past year got into my first relationship (with a partner who isnt on the ace spectrum at all), and although I'm asexual, we do have sex, and sex is also very much something I actively want- NOT just something I do because my partner wants it and i dont mind. In all honesty, I struggle to understand why people find it hard to wrap their head around the idea that someone can be asexual and want to have sex. The way it feels to me is that I don't really have that same strong draw to have sex with particular people like non-ace people do- but I can still enjoy sex as a physical activity. To me sex really is just any other activity, which happens to be enjoyable, and therefore I enjoy doing it with my partner. I'm not sure why this really blows peoples' minds. But that's my personal experiences with asexuality and sex!
I love your way of putting it!
Hey ! Fellow asexual here. Can I ask you a question? Do you feel any sexual attraction to your partner? I dont have any asexual friends and as someone who feels no sexual attraction or desire i would really like to understand your pov! Sorry if this comes off as rude or anything
@Elliot V not to be rude cause I really don't get it but the way you describe it, it doesn't sound like you're asexual at all...? What am I missing here
@@youreright3128 because being asexual doesnt actually really have to do with just whether someone engages in having sex or not. having sex is just an act that you can choose to do or not, with any person, attracted to them or not.
Similar to how (for example) a straight woman could choose to have sex with another woman, and find it an objectively enjoyable physical experience, but that doesnt mean she actually feels attracted to those people in any way.
i'm asexual because I just don't look at people and feel drawn to have sex with them. like, i just see sex as any other activity that's objectively physically enjoyable, but i don't actually feel attracted to particular people in the way that I have some inherent desire/thought to have sex with them. when people say that someone else is "hot" i dont understand what that feeling actually means, i actually used to think it was just something everyone was collectively exaggerating.
That SIS/SES distinction was actually really useful! Thank you
Hey milo! I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry if I ever posted comments invalidating your identity over the years. When I was 13 I was really heavily into the conservative right community. I don’t remember much of that time but I remember seeing your face in a lot of “debunking” videos. I’m almost 21 now and I’m shocked to see the content I used to watch. They were and are so cruel to you and it truly was brutal bullying. The love and positivity you displayed despite hatred is inspiring. I just wanted to tell you that you matter. Your feelings matter and because of you I no longer have any of those hateful views. I’ve officially crossed the picket line because of you. Thank you for showing me the light and pulling me out of such darkness and ignorance. I hope you have many years of peace in the future.
Holy shit, if She pulled You out of ignorance I cannot imagine your past situation, She is absolutely confused, they are obsessed with gender
I really admire your confidence to still make videos after how much hate you've gotten over the years!
Thats what beeing crazy means^^
The like-dislike ratio makes me wary of the comments
I think the comments are monitored. So far they seem fine.
Yeah we wouldn't want these weirdos to hear truth 😂
It's really nice to see a video by you that isn't flooded with dislikes, and instead has supportive comments! I'm a lesbian but I always find it so interesting listening to other LGBT+ people's experiences!
i can imagine that growing up and transitioning at the same time so publicly like you did was extremely challenging in ways most people can never understand, but that you’ve come out of it so strong and confident is really admirable. i like where your content is at right now, whether i can relate or agree with all of it or not. it’s educational and interesting and you fit into the good part of youtube really comfortably.
Great video Milo! tbh, me being Demi-Demi (on A-spec) is one of the only certian things I have on my identity (especially since my past expirinces enhenched that.) I would really love to hear if you want to make some more ace-spec videos, like on the topic of ace discrimination (especially in terms of se---ul ab--se. since we are the 2nd in the community on it and there is 0 to no awarness) or internalied A-phobia (like the feeling you will never truly "love" as much as others just cause you have less sexual attraction to them)
anyhow, great vid, was great to hear you!
Thank you! And thanks for the video ideas!
@@MiloStewart Of course! we lack a lot of awareness in the ace community, (like the bad stats of se---ul ab--se we face aimed to "fix us" that is 43.6% today. and the rates of aces dealing with considering "game end" at 50% and 14% attempting it, or the very sad fact that trans aces are the most venerable in the community to the last statistics due to the clashing between sex repulsion and insecurities about their gender identity) So I'm just so happy for any good person who wants to give some awareness to those issues that effected me and my community, awareness is key for a change, I do believe that.
so, actually, thank YOU.
if you need any studies or research I have a lot of sources and am happy to help!
It pains me to see that like/dislike ratio. I appreciate your openness about these subjects, especially because while I find comfort in the labels "aegosexual" and "quoiromantic" there are times where aesthetic attraction comes along and makes me wonder if it's really just aesthetic attraction or not. I'm at the beginning of my transition and suspect that once I'm on Testosterone a lot might change, but I won't know until I get there. Romantic attraction confuses me the most, though. I have an idea of what sexual attraction feels like but I can't wrap my head around romantic attraction one bit and it can be really frustrating because I don't know how to communicate the knot in my head to alloromantic people. I do however feel that if I did let someone close to me, emotionally and physically, it would most likely have to be another trans person, though, someone who understands what is happening to my body.
I found myself relating to so much of what you talked about in this video. I think I have some re-examining to do myself in terms of my orientation. My sexuality and relationship with sex is a really tricky thing. I dont even know if “ace spec” can describe it, but I may also be in that umbrella the more I think about it. Thank you for the video 💜
Hi Milo! Nice to hear from you again. No matter what anyone says, there is no wrong time to gain a better understanding of your sexuality. I'm 31, and it's only been in the last two years or so I've identified as grey-ace/ace-flux. I rarely experience a strong desire to have sex with anyone, though I may enjoy sex with a romantic partner, both to make them happy and because it feels good. Like you, I still have a libido, though being cis-presenting I don't take hormones that may effect it.
Are you familiar with the webcomic "Aces Wild" by Sally Vinter? She made an amazing comic recently that explained "asexuality is something you are, not something you do". I find that an extra helpful phrase to explain the difference between libido and sex as an action aside from sexuality.
I've identified as ace since I was 13/14 and I'm almost 18 now. Pandemic birthday in a few weeks! I don't really talk to people about being asexual because they seem to think I can't know if I haven't had sex yet or it is just confusing to them because they think everyone has sexual attraction or it just doesn't seem relevant. My friends don't know, my parents don't know... it's basically an identity that is just for me. And I'm okay with that right now. I don't know if I have or ever will experience sexual attraction. But the label of asexual has fit me for a long time and it still seems to, so I will use it until/unless I learn something new about myself that necessitates a new label. Maybe when I go college I'll meet a hot person and find out that hey, I am sexually attracted to people. Maybe I'll figure out that I'm demi- or graysexual. I think that sex will be a complicating factor in my relationships for reasons beyond my sexuality. But I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who isn't comfortable with how I am or am not attracted to them.
I relate to 100% of this video. (Tho I'm not fully T4T and more gay than bi, but on the whole.gray ace thing).
I don't really say anymore that i'm ace-spec / gray ace because it doesn't feel that important for me, and I have found enough comfort that I don't feel the need for community around that experience (although obviously the need for community does not necessarily comes from discomfort, but that's just how I feel about it personally).
But I'm very happy to have thought and say very early in my questioning and transition that yes, identity can be phases. Phases is not a bad word, and it's not an insult (I mean, in the mouth of a lot of cishet people it is, but not inherently). It actually feels quite normal and healthy to grow and change over the course of your life. It doesn't mean whoever you were before was fake or mistaken (and even if, it's also fine to be mistaken).
I love your kindness and your heart despite everything you’ve been through ❤️ 🌈 keep going strong and spreading awareness and patience ✨
I think you're closer to my level & I'm much older. I just transitioned a few years ago. I'm an asexual gay trans boy with a Native History that puts me in a two-spirit exploration. I believe they called it, "Being a gay man trapped in a woman's body." I never dated since I tried to live as a woman. That didn't work out at all. As soon as I started learning about being trans did the pieces fall into place. Every other excuse everyone ELSE gave you to direct your mind to "shame" falls away and -- Nah you're not crazy after all. Keep it up, Milo! 🤘🏽
It's so cool to hear from someone who has a similar collection of labels as me! And some really great wisdom you share!
@@MiloStewart I'm still learning, but I like to think of it as a step by step process. I learn something new every day -- for example, the UK and US have similar issues, but on different narratives. There needs to be a class. Pronoun challenges also exist with me. I'm a writer. A dyslexic bad grammar writer that's bilingual. Old dogs can be taught too, they just grumpy.😁
@@LatchkeyGothboy can you explain what you mean by different narratives between us/uk?
@@user-tx5vr2lu6e I will try. In my experience, I've seen more homophobia than transphobia. I'm very lucky to live in a very liberal part of the US now, but I came from the South. They don't take kindly to changes. I learned from my UK friends what a TERF was. I hear more challenges when it comes to medical (T and/or HRT) being blocked due to governments while I've had a better time of it. Similar but different - I think there is less self-acceptance in the US and I believe it can be because of how each country treats sex. I hope that makes sense.
@@user-tx5vr2lu6e We also had Trump. That just threw everything off the radar. When he struck our trans military - it was a stab to the throat.
Awesome video! It was super informative and it was honestly really cool to see another gray ace person explain that part of themselves because I always struggle to find people to relate to, but I was able to very easily relate to you, thankyou for making such an awesome video Milo!
It's actually super affirming to hear that another person can relate to my experiences!
I have to say I disagree with the stigma against phases... there’s nothing wrong if your sexuality changes for whatever reason. It does happen and I’m living proof... I was strictly gay until my twenties and all the sudden when I was hitting my “second puberty” I started experiencing sexual attraction to all genders and both sexes. There’s nothing wrong with something “just being a phase” and I don’t think people who say that should be shamed.
I feel all of this so hard, I’ve had a really complicated relationship my the title of ace as I find other queer identities. Some of the terms in this video are really helpful, thank you Milo.
It's really interesting that I am just now finishing this video and I can't see a damn thing to dislike because it's your own experiences it's so odd to me that people think that they know better than the person who is experiencing it or why their input of leaving a negative remark about exploring attraction with a positive and open dialogue exploring the greyer aspects of attraction and the escalators experiences were very helpful!
I think most people are disliking because of the bias video.
@@Psybandit bias is putting it lightly she is an ideolouge
@@gnarboots423 i meant the video she made about bias, but that's also true
Thank you for this open and candid video.
Your journey of introspection and discovering yourself is very interesting and honestly awesome, I'm glad to see other people constantly evolving in their identity
this is such an incredibly vulnerable and powerful video, and I see so much of myself in it. Thank you
you are so nice, why are there so many dislikes under your videos? :((( you don't deserve that
thanks for sharing, Milo!!!
Good video, thanks for sharing your experience Milo! The sexual accelerator vs sexual inhibitor concept is one that I hadn’t heard put into words before. I’m trans, bi, and have questioned whether I was ace-spec on and off but kinda put those thoughts on the shelf bc I find it confusing and fruitless lol. It’s hard to parse what I’m feeling as someone w sexual trauma and fluctuating bottom dysphoria. I heard quite a bit of my feelings echoed in this vid, and it’s always comforting to know I’m not alone in my messy feelings lol. Also I have to say I am loving your look here!
Aw, thank you! And yes! It's so funny that I'm ace-spec and spend a lot of time trying to learn from sex researchers about human experiences. I know I think about sexual attraction more than some non-aces, but having more vocabulary to use to understand my experiences makes a big difference!
Wow this was a super affirming video to me as a sometimes-sex-repulsed-sometimes-not gray ace. Thank you so much for your openness and transparency 💕
Ty for adding more videos at the bottom!! It's good to find what is influential to you &c. &c. idk it's just Neat. ty for this vid legend! I am like, questioning whether I'm ace or not so, hearing perspectives is always good post tweet
Hi Milo ! I am on the aro-ace spectrum and I am also non-binary. I found your video really good, thank you ! I recently realized that acephobia is very real (until then I minimized it, because for me the other lgbt+ oppression was worse and I didn't feel legitimate) but recently I was in a "funny" situation because a friend (who is also a doctor and physiotherapist), who I know was homophobe and transphobe, realize that I was trans (I didn't explain non binary, baby steps). We had a really long conversation, and I was surprised that he accepted the fact I am trans and encourage me to transition (wich I do since years with clothes or haircut but he is visual impaired so he didn't see) because he thought that if I transition I would "found someone and fall in love" xD He already told him I didn't really feel romantic or sexual attraction, but he think that transition is the cure and that's only because I don't feel fine in my body (because of dysphoria and the fact that I have a chronic illness) that I won't seach a man or a woman. That make me laughs and that's the first time I realize that someone could be acephobe more than transphobe or homophobe.
This was so interesting and helpful with your explanations and helps me understand myself too. thank you milo :)
your commitment to being your authentic self publicly to the extent that you're doing is really impressive!
I can only imagine how much it takes to come on here and be this open, honest and vulnerable about your ongoing journey of figuring out how you relate to the ace spectrum, ESPECIALLY after the sheer amount of shit you got for being open about exploring other aspects of your identity in the past!
Hats of to you Milo!
I relate so much to the way you talk about these things. I really appreciate your videos!
This is a really good video!
Thank you for posting this!
Great video! That was a different perspective then I’ve heard before.
The way I experience my sexuality (or maybe just perception of it) seems to change when I’m presenting in line with my gender identity (I’m semi-closeted trans). I’m allosexual, but idk, it seemed like it related a bit to what you were talking about. I’ve started steering clear of sexuality labels because of that, otherwise I tend to get a bit existential when I experience fluctuation or change. I’ve been trying to unlearn the binary ideas we tend to have on sexuality, and accept that for a lot of people it’s somewhat fluid. Giving yourself grace to change labels is a hard thing to do.
Hi milo i just wanted to say that I'm so happy to come back to your content after many years and finally appreciate what you're doing here. it really helps to hear someone else speak about the internalized hate and shame
I really feel the not being sure thing
Hey Milo! Just interacting and letting you know how much of an inspiration you are to me 🙂
i'm so glad that the comments here are largely positive unlike the trolls on your other videos
Bcause the other video is ridicoulus
Hey, I want to apologize. I was one of the people who would laugh and judge you when you were facing that big wave of hate back in 2016(?).
It wasn't cool, especially to be a young adult punching down on a teen. I didn't try to understand, and that's just not okay.
Since then, I've grown and learned more about the diversity of people in general.
@S Games26 it's bad form to brag about character flaws, but OK.
endless respect for u Milo, keep being you
"I don't know if I experience sexual attraction," Sounds a lot like the constant doubt you get as being trans. But if you have doubts at all, you're probably onto something. Like cishet people don't think about this.
I'm a person with a strong sex drive and when my friend came out as asexual to me I couldn't understand anything 💔 this video helped me understand her a lot more now and helped me educate myself more into what asexuality means, thank you Milo 🥰
Hey milo. Nice to see that you're still on UA-cam. hope you have a long prosperous career. 😀
not asexual myself so ehh forgive me if the phrasing is off/bad but this question is meant with genuine desire to learn. how is having sex with someone you're not attracted to healthy for you or the person you're having sex with? as in, mentally healthy as a behavior to engage with. if someone i had sex with later told me they don't feel attracted to me i would feel like i used them or something
on that note, the trope about gay men having had past relations with women and not being attracted to them, that's generally not something they continue to do after having come out as gay?
Yeah I was wondering that too. If it’s ok for ace people to have sex with those they’re not attracted to, should we expect that gay people should be able to have sex with the opposite gender? That doesn’t sit right with me.
@@madelinevlogs5898 i feel like at some point it uses the functional distinction between ace/non ace people
I don't think that's a bad question to ask! that's something I've tried to work out with past partners, too. I think an ace person having sex with someone they're not attracted to is different from a closeted gay person in that situation because an ace isn't denying something about themselves or preventing themselves from having sex with someone that they /are/ attracted to. And to speak for myself, when I have sex, it isn't transactional with my partners. I do genuinely enjoy sex and genuinely enjoy pleasing my parter (maybe an 'acts of service' love language thing!), so it's not that I've had sex only because a partner wanted it of me.
this really helped me understand what being asexual is. thanks milo :)
Hi, Ik this video isn’t about you being non-binary or anything but I wanted to come on here because I saw some videos on a certain UA-camr that I started following because of his video about you. I just wanted to say I’m sorry if I ever commented anything hurtful about your gender. I don’t remember doing it because it was a couple years ago that I followed him but I want you to know that I’ve now come out as non-binary and I respect what you and other creators like you have done to pave the way in normalising non-binary people in society. You’re awesome and keep doing what you’re doing.
Just popping in to say that I totally relate to you. I know I'm panromantic and somewhere on the ace-spectrum, but I know I have felt sexual attraction sometimes. I have "been" straight, bisexual, gay, and none of those labels felt correct until I stumbled upon asexuality. Sure, I still don't know where on the spectrum I fall, but it's been the label that's felt the most comfortable for me. And if that changes in the future, it changes. People change, and that's okay, it doesn't mean I'm lying about my current identity or that it's a phase, because the person I am in this exact moment identifies as such
Learning new things about our identity should be the norm, i’m sorry you’ve been shamed about it. Asexuality is a tough one to figure out, specially when one struggles with sexuality and gender as a whole (i’m on a similar boat at the moment).
I'm aroace, and the whole asexuals-have-sex-too thing confuses me. I have never had sex and never plan to, so am I, like, a mega-ace? An extreme ace? Is there a word for someone like me?
How do libido and attraction not go together for some people? Not ace, but I’m only ever aroused when I’m looking at/having an experience with someone I’m attracted to. If I’m not attracted to anyone I have no desire for sex because there isn’t anyone to desire.
I guess I'm just the opposite of that! I don't get aroused just by looking at an attractive person, but I usually get turned on by imagining different sensations on my body.
Hey. This is irrelevant to the video but I'd really like you to see it. I wanted your permission before I did this.
I'm ftm and have a tiny channel. I'd like to talk about Kalvin's effect on me. I briefly speak about his past actions and behaviour. This isn't to capitalise off his behaviour or victims, it is purely to give background on him. I can't even monetize my videos because I don't have enough subs. I credit your channel, Brennen's videos, and Moe's video (there's more that I link in the description) and tell my audience to watch those videos to get a good understanding of what happened and how deeply hs affected so many people. My video mostly discusses his effect on me as an ex fan of Kalvin, and how he influenced my behaviour and perception of myself. It is not a drama video. Nor is it an attempt to capitalise off everyone's trauma. It's me talking about how I used to act exactly like him. I didn't feel right making the video without at least trying to get permission from someone involved.
That’s ok with me! Really sorry to hear that you’ve been impacted, too.
Milo do you have a Patreon? Like, I love your content so much I literally want you to take my money :0
LOL, I appreciate that so much! I don't have one right now because I don't feel like I am quite into the schedule of making content regularly enough to justify having a Patreon, but it's a 2021 goal of mine to get to that point and maybe make a Patreon. I will for sure talk about that on my UA-cam when I get to that point. Thanks for sticking around!
@@MiloStewart
Awesome! I’m looking forward to it, thanks for the response. :)
Based!! Asexuality is valid
I feel thr same way. you put the into words so well thank you
haven't seen any of your videos in years so I am surprised to see you still around after all the abuse directed at you and appearing to be happy(I hope that is the case.)
This resonates with me quite a lot. I only just recently come to the conclusion that I’m aspec, but absolutely no idea where on the spectrum I am. I identified up until now as bi, but I have no idea if I actually am experiencing sexual attraction or not since I am sex favourable. It’s compilcated and there’s no shame in changing how you identify to more accurately fit your experiences
you're openness and honesty is super inspirational to me 🥺
My whole life, I knew I was never interested in intercourse( I mean I always said that I would try it once I'm married but even then I didn't care about having it) and I knew that the look of female genitaIia grossed me out. However, since I was about 6, I absolutely loved self pIeasure and I still found women ( and male and female animated animals ) attractive.
With that being said though about two years ago, I discovered that this may make me asexual, so to " Test myself " I looked up videos and pictures of people doing it and I tried really hard to like it and I tried really hard to imagine myself in a scenario where I would want it. The vast majority of things I saw though just grossed me out and made me sick and whilst I did find some of the women attractive, seeing their private area and seeing them "do it " just prevented me from getting turned on and I would have rather seen them in lewd clothing. Even though I knew I didn't like it though, I kept questioning whether I did or not and forcing myself to do this just caused me to feel really depressed almost as if I had a huge weight on my soul and I felt as I was going against who I was. After a while though, I just found out that I was doing this because I have a nasty habit of mentally torturing myself by trying to put myself in a bad mood because I guess in some way feeling bad is better than feeling nothing at all.
In a way though this just made me stronger in who I was because I came to the realization that if I have to question if I like something then I probably don't like it, I mean when I see something that I find stimulating, I get instantly turned on and there's no thought about it. So the very fact that I even had to ask myself if I liked the look of intercourse means I didn't because our minds may try to confuse us sometimes with all these thoughts but our bodies always know what we like.
I apologize for the long ramble though and it's good to see that you're not getting as much hate as you use to
I don’t mean to be rude and I’m not, I’m just still confused... I went back to your first videos and now I’m confused
luv uuuu
To me, it's quite clear what a huge spectrum asexuality encompasses just from talking to my aro/ace friends. I have one friend who is completely sex-repulsed, no libido, no romantic or sexual interest in anybody, never masturbated. As clear cut as it gets.
And then I have friends whose stories more closely resemble yours - for example, existing libido but basically no sexual attraction, almost no romantic feelings, and some bottom dysphoria sprinkled on top to make it all the more confusing.
And for those friends, finding any label at all is a struggle and a bit of a confusing mess. I obviously support them in whatever conclusion they reach, but to me, it definitely seems like classifying this as "on the aro/ace spectrum" is sensible.
Because I'm allo. I thought about this stuff in depth (mostly to educate myself for my friends' sake), and I always reached the very simple conclusion of "Nope, can't relate. I want sex, a relationship, the whole lot. That simple".
And that's a very different experience to theirs.
It seems to me that all these labels and identities are like a hobby. I wonder why my identity or label doesn't change.
I like how open you are, I wish I had your confidence!
Nice video sis
Oof I don't know if I'm asexual or not I'm really confused rn on one side I'm like "I'm 13 it's probably just a phase" then on the other side I'm like "but I fit perfectly with the discretion of asexual" do y'all think I'm too young to be figuring this stuff out?😫...(also this is random but I heard a boy at school ask "if you are bisexual which bathroom do you go in?" Bruh🤦🏿♀️
There is no need to label or diagnose yourself with anything, especially when you’re so young. All you’re meant to do right now is learn and use what you’ve learned now to help understand yourself and apply it in the future. I know puberty, hormones and media tell you otherwise, but you do not need to be worrying about your sexuality at only 13 years old. You have plenty of time to come to conclusions regarding that part of yourself once you are mentally and emotionally mature enough to do so. I hope you don’t take my advice as patronizing. I’m basically advising you to keep things simple for now, as it should be for a child.
@@somejive2158 thanks, mate
What a handsome face, nice jawline.
Who tf is disliking this video so much, it's a good video lol
If your a praying person pray for me. Abdominal pains
this video made me question if im ace-spec again haha
milo... (from another trans milo) i think being t4t is so fucking superior !!! and i learned so much from this video :) ur channel is so educational
take care
i love u
you're so awesome milo i hope you're having a good day
omg you too!
@@MiloStewart omg hi ilysmmmm i just wanna say i love how you stayed on the internet as a young trans person through "skeptic culture". i was in your shoes but i was about 13-14. people would send me death threats, gore, and porn. i was just a child expressing myself and saying that i deserved to be understood and treated with respect. now that being leftist is the cool thing on twitter and whatever, i'm happy that people are getting more progressive, but i also feel a little bitter. i was a child and the same people who would try to bully me to the edge are now echoing what i said a few years ago. what this whole rambling mess means is that i know you're someone who understands and that's more than anything i could ask for really. i love youu. you were a beacon of hope for this young trans kid a few years back.
I feel like the resident bisexual rapidly taking notes, this was so informative for me!
im twelve but i dont know if there only two genders or more than that can you tell me ???
im a boy btw
if i answer you this reply section will be a hell hole
Amooo
glad i finally met another trans person online tbh. i dont know many
This video saddens me deeply... Milo shouldn’t have to defend themself...themselves? (Correct me on proper use of the reflexive of singular they) because these nasty people spread terrible rumors about them! Can’t we agree that Milo is such an intelligent young human and has so much more to offer the online political community beyond constantly responding to slander!
what rumors
MOAR TEST... MOAAAAAR.
Ugh don’t hate daz
😉🌹
🙏
Yo I just wanted to drop by and really kinda apologize? You probably won’t see this or care that much but I remember when I was 12 I just brigades your channel after Leafy made that vid. Sorry for being such a cringy edge lord
I love youuuu
Who else is here because of daz?
I'm here by Ryan Upchurch 🤣💀
Yes lol
Among us
Because sexuality and identity can always change in life, the only way to ever know if anything, whether gay, cis, ace, allo etc, is a phase or not, is to literally see if it changes or not before you die. Everyone's identity and sexuality is equally potentially a phase, and therfore conversely equally likely not a phase. The best anyone can say is what they are right now.
How can one be sexually active and date people and not be sexually attracted to any of them? Am I crazy for thinking this because this goes against nature...and logic.
You're not crazy; I feel the same way.
Disclaimer, I'm aroace and extremely uninterested in ever entering a sexual or romantic relationship, so I can't relate to Milo's behavior either. Even so, I don't think dating people or even having sex necessarily makes someone not asexual. Obviously there's a difference between romantic and sexual attraction, so it should be completely unambiguous that an asexual might want to date people, assuming they're not also aromantic. As for sex, an asexual might do it because their partner wants sex and they don't mind it, or because, at least according to everyone I've talked to, sex has the interesting side effect of feeling good. Besides, the reason doesn't even matter, because orientation is about attraction, not behavior. If a gay man denies his sexuality and dies having only ever had straight sex, does that make him straight? If a straight woman once experimented with a female friend and only ever had straight sex after that, does the one time define her as bisexual? Obviously no to both, but then why do you define non-asexual orientations by nature but asexuality by behavior?
That said, I will admit this is complicated by Milo not knowing for sure if they experience sexual attraction in the same way as non-asexuals. If I remember correctly, some people call this WTFsexuality, but then that also includes people who consider sexual attraction to be an illogical concept, so I'm not sure if it completely counts. But even so, it's not our call to make. Only Milo Stewart has direct access to the lived experience of being Milo Stewart, so they will naturally know more about themselves than we ever will. Maybe they're mistaken, but if anyone's going to discover that, it's them, not some random strangers on the internet. Why bother doubting them?
@@a10485 dont waste your time on a youtube comment
Every ace community i've been on since I came out did not like your vids and felt embarrassed by them (they were pretty hardcore leftists and even they were ashamed). It was definitely a phase as even most asexuals could tell that. Milo, just accept you're not ace and stop appropriating the label.
if it's about both ace AND aro, don't call it only asexuality. aro erasure sucks
Do you mean you think 'aromanticism' should be in the title?
really,2021, how many more videos about your sexuality will you do?
are they forcing you to watch them? To some people their sexuality is rlly important. It's their channel anyways they can make as many videos of their sexuality as they want
Well I'm trans between 1159pm and 1200am
Are u still non binary
Upchurch 🤣
Don't worry it's on the list.
milo i hope you find your identity and i like how you have changed from all people are racist
i think it's honestly hilarious how this channel is famous _solely_ because of the crazy disliked video.
i played you in minecraft