Episode 69: Gay Men's Relationship Advice: How to Succeed in an Age-Difference Relationship
Вставка
- Опубліковано 31 лип 2024
- Ken gives tips on how gay men who have a much younger or a much older partner can make their relationship thrive for the long term.
Im 35 and my bf is 58. Weve been together for 2 years. Hes been amazing since day one. So loving, caring, and kind. Hes best thing thats happened to me
I'm from Germany, 45 with a husband of 65, and we're together for 22 years, happily married for 15 years now... and it's been wonderful so far!!! :-)🥰
Wow good on you ! ❤️
My late husband and I had an age difference of 16,5 years.
This month it is 30 years ago that he passed away after a two month nightmare of fighting cancer. He was almost 49, I was 32 then, 62 now. Up till today I still consider the 8 years that were given to us to live together as the best, most beautiful years of my life...
I can relate to that, having survived a eventually toxic relationship before. I am 62 as well
I’m 57 and he’s 25. We met 3-1/2 yrs ago. It’s been challenging at times. More because of my own insecurity and fear than anything else. I love him and he loves me; why should anything else matter?
💯
❤❤ me 40 yesr
Good luck 🙈🤭
I am 58 and he is 35. I am probably more insecure about it and don’t want to inhibit his life when I get older
We married 30 years ago. I was 23 my husband 47. Still going strong.
Finally a topic that nearly everyone avoids acknowledging. I am 62 and my partner is 33. We have been together for 8 years now.
Sigh. I’ve been in love with one man for years, and he’s in love with me, too, but he insists our age difference is too great and that he needs a “peer” and that I do as well.
He is 62 and I am 33, just like you and your partner.
When the whole world falls down around us, I will still be there for him, always.
@@rudypalma1250 Hi; thx for taking the time to reply.. You sound like a 'keeper'.
If someone said they are in love with me but age difference is too great i sense a 'mixed' message. i basically hear "thanks, but " no thanks!" "Too great": what does that mean?
You’re right. I love him very much, but I have to accept that it is in many ways a one-sided relationship because of his issues. At least I know he really loves me and wishes the best for me.
Thank you for the sweet words. Your guy is very lucky :-)
@@rudypalma1250 i am also am lucky. thx and take care.
hey guys, i am dating a guy whose younger than me.
Hes going 25 and i am 44, we met thru grindr, what are your thoughts for a guy whose young and you only met him thru grindr and now he wants to be in a relationship? In general, situations like this, will this kind of relationship will level up?
Thanks for the replies!
I am 50 and my partner is 26.
He pursued me for months before I relented, for which I am SO grateful.
I was going through a nasty divorce and I thought he was just too young, but I have never felt more in love and we hope to marry this year.
❤
I’ve always been attracted to men who are much older than me. Even when I was a teenager, I wasn’t into guys my age; I was always interested in guys in their 30s and 40s. Since I turned 30, I’ve been turned in by guys over 60. Salt-and-pepper or gray hair/beard drive me nuts! The problem I have now is that I’m in my mid-50s, so it’s a lot harder to find much-older gay men. Older guys also now get a lot more suspicious about a younger guy coming on to them; so many scammers try to pull these people into relationships for the purpose of getting money out of them, so it’s understandable that guys would be wary. It just means I have to work harder to convince older guys that I’m not after their money - I want their bodies!
Hello
I am 19 and my boyfriend is 58 agree with all the comments thus far its hard especially seeing as how I overthink a lot
I want to be and feel better he makes me feel reborn . Sometimes it is a struggle but I've made a lot of progress it's been 6 months since we've been together
We were the same ages that you two are, when we first met. We've been together for 10 years now and have an amazing life! It can be a lot of work at time, but that's the same as any relationship. Hope you're still happy :) @@omariellett7136
He’s 62 I’m 32 and he makes me happy
This is the exact age difference I’m dealing with thank u for your relating
@@josuegomez7351 we’ve been together for 10 years and still going ♥️
I was in a Gay/Interracial relationship for 40 years, just lost my partner of 40 years. I learned that his friends were not necessarily my friends because they stopped calling when he was around the called once a week. That was hard for me to understand and I never will. Thanks you for all the information.
I am so sorry for your loss. I provide bereavement counseling if you'd like more support. Thanks for listening! gaytherapyla.com/therapy/
You cannot redirect your basic sexual orientation, unless you are really bisexual, but you do have some ability to direct your choice of life-partner. A large age difference might work OK in earlier years, but not so much in the years of decline, sickness and death. Tomorrow does come, sooner than expected, and before you are ready, Unless early bereavement is your pleasure, it usually best to be with someone close to your own age, so you can age together. Speaking as 72 year-old in 52 year partnership.
A celebrity can date or marry a person 40 to 50 years older and no one gives a shit. Let a gay male date a guy younger or older and the walls falls down on you.
Thank you for posting this Podcast. By 12 minutes and I was sold. I recently started dating a man 20 years younger than me. I have never faced this dynamic before, so it was very intimidating at the start.. I can confidently say that we do not fit the negative stereotypes (visible yet), we do fit all of the positive ones (very visible) We also fit some of the "odd" ones. I can't wait to finish the cast. Thank you so much for your excellent work!
Thank you for listening! Please let me know if you have suggestions for future episode topics!
Together 42 years. He's 82. I'm 64. Still going strong. A stranger asked me once if he was my dad. I said. "No. He's my daddy." What a befuddled look I got.
That's awesome! :) I take great delight whenever I can befuddle someone. It's a great verb to inspire. Especially bigots; they are ripe for befuddling.
I'm glad I found this video .I'm 66 & being in a courtship with a 45 year old . Very old fashion " Victorian " courtship !!!
Thank you for listening! Please let me know if you have suggestions for future episode topics!
My relationship with my partner started during the quarantine between us wanting love and company during the pandemic. I (20M) meet my partner (30M) in the last quarter of 2020. This has been one of the best things to come out of this whole pandemic. Learning how to handle the age difference was a concern by we have a laugh about it knowing it doesn’t matter. From my experience I can say have open conversation about your needs and concerns while being open to receive the same from your younger partner. Wish y’all nothing but the best!
Wish y’all nothing but the best!! Stay safe :)
This was sent to me from my baby and I will say it put a lot in my mind thanks babe
i’m 19 he’s 68. I’m genuinely in love with him but nobody believes it and thinks i’m just a gold digger :/
Ignore them and focus on what you share...love is a beautiful thing ✨️ 💛
sorry, I don't believe it either.
Really enjoyed this class.😊 Thank you.🎉
Glad you enjoyed it!
All these age different relationships listed here in the comments are very encouraging. I’ve lost hope for some time based on failed relationships but it’s nice to see it can happen and work well even with the inevitable bumps common to relationships
Thanks for sharing!
thank you so much this is very helpful!
You're welcome! Let me know if you have suggestions for future episode topics.
I'm 34 next month and he's 57 love him more than anything
Is he wealthy?
You're suffering from Gerontophilia
Hi Ken, I loved this podcast and your kind sharing of your skills. I am going to watch some more of your videos. I'm retired from owning a recording studio,
and listening to this podcast at a loud volume, had you coughing and thus distracting from your valuable messages. May I suggest the available 'cough switch' to put in line of your mic?" Again, thank you for these videos, they really help. Keith in New Mexico.
Thank you for this tip; I will look into one of those (badly needed)!
I have 37 my partner is 72 we love each other.I wish we could have more friends on the same situation we are from Massachusetts.
Thanks for this informative video. I will check out others that you have created. I am a senior who is often attracted to younger men. While I am ageing, it's not happening very fast and I don't show it a lot.
I,m Young Man And Gay
You're welcome! Glad you found it helpful.
My current boyfriend and I first met while hooking up when I was 16 and he was 24 (I was on grindr and 16 is the age of consent where I live) We hooked up and hung out and really liked eachother for a month or 2 but ended it cuz we were very clearly at different points in life and there wasn’t a point to continue. Fast forward 2 years later and I’m 18 and he’s 26 and we start talking again, I’m now 19 and he’s 27 and we’ve been together for an year and a half and moved in 3 months ago. I really love this man and we’ve always been very open to eachother about our age difference. I got a crazy job opportunity where I’m working full time in trades with ridiculously good pay and we now have a fairly similar financial situation and future goals and wants. I’ve always been told I’m mature for my age (including my boyfriend telling me this) what does the internet think about our relationship? It’s going amazing but is this grooming? What’re your thoughts?
I’m not in a relationship, but found this information really expansive and interesting. Thank you.
I can't have double digit age gap
I was living with my roomate he was 22 AND i was 44 ora 45 i was permanente resident now i am ya cityzen i was protectong him living with me no rent to pay for him we difnt have sex because he has nevera admite yo be gay bit i suspect that, i left for More than 6 years AND o am planing yo go back USA AND find him to live with him now he Is 31 AND i 52 he now know i want to go back, but i feliz sick of my soine cord its been really hard for me to recoger because this sickness tent yo be forever but i am on my way i think i like him AND love me because he still wait for me AND this Time if god give us a new chance Is going to be honest for both i hope we can start a better relationship this time
@@alexgarcia3388 I Will Date You
Thank you for listening! Please let me know if you have suggestions for future episode topics!
Ken,
I am a police chaplain and old Catholic priest Vatican I), and I have been looking for what, in spiritual life we would consider our soulmate souls don’t have an age humans which may have a chronological age or a biological age I can’t tell you how easy it is to talk with my boyfriend who is 30 years my junior he’s just the easiest person to speak with. We just seem to click everything that he values value, and vice versa I know I’ve known him previous life, which might sound strange coming from a Catholic priest but remember I’m a chaplain and I also know many faiths. I’ve always believed that somehow I have met him in the previous life and that’s why we click so easily. It’s like him picking up a conversation that you left off formally, but I find your wisdom and your experience as a therapist insightful and hopefully will guide me to make good decisions about our relationships as we move forward. I really appreciate what you share and I look forward to reading your book which I plan on purchasing think you have a gift one of the things that I have noticed in my lifetime gay people who have a learn to accept themselves as creatures of God that God created them exactly who they are to be and he has no intention of changing them, and when they finally accept that they are the most integrity people I’ve ever met they have the most integrity because they know who they are and they know what they want
Jjeff
Hey Jeff. Wow; thank you for this so much! Beautiful story, and thank you for your kind words. And, thanks for getting the book! If others are interested, it is available here. But it's not gay-specific. www.amazon.com/Self-Empowerment-Have-Life-You-Want/dp/0557572592/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&dib_tag=se&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.tnaoQzroTL0z6ao7OErTSzuyDsvauItE3w1hRTFcoQk.hznD-Cip1RHY8f8DVVwp-uoYasFCv7vYKN4-ICxuq14&qid=1721183024&sr=8-1
For more gay-specific content, I offer online courses, here: ken-s-site-cf15.thinkific.com/courses/gay-men-starting-their-own-business and ken-s-site-cf15.thinkific.com/courses/improving-sexual-confidence-for-gay-men.
Thank you for listening!
Yea
Nice episode ❤️
Thanks! Thank you for listening.
He looks good!
very interesting, I am 61, and have had a relationship with a man that id 232 younger than me, He wants to get married, but I believe through my own insecurity, that he just wants " safe security ", and will one day leave me, and leave me broken hearted, I will likely lose him.
Im 33 my bf is 20.... its hard but im trying
I'm 24 and my boyfriend of six years is 45, so a twenty one year difference. My friends are generally accepting, but I'm often embarrassed to tell new people because their first thought is that he's my Uncle or something and when we correct them, especially in Texas, their reactions can be extreme. My parents are not at all accepting of my sexuality and I've been lying to them for six years now, leading them to believe that my "roommate" is both my age and straight. I'm too afraid to tell them the truth.
I understand where you are coming from Landon
It's a very difficult place to be in. You may fear losing your parents because of their homophibia. Certainly, if you have any financial dependence on them it's understandable. However, I would encourage you to work toward a place where you can be honest. If you fear losing them, you should consider that the relationship you currently have is not genuine. As well, it is not your job to coddle them from challenge and an opportunity to grow. There's a saying that "you need not light yourself on fire to keep others warm." The emotional gymnastics it takes to stay closeted is like lighting yourself on fire. Best of luck to you.
@George Shankar i noticed you always delete your comments whenever we are talking on here ....
@George Shankar lol I don’t have time for games
@George Shankar I don’t care what you have to say because have a wonderful man
How about how do u find a partner to begin with amongst the covid virus? I'm 58 and have been single for 8 years because no one wants to date but instead just have hookups?
You don't have to find your love, it's not going anywhere at the end of the day you're going to meet him dear ❤
@@shantanupatil9062 single at 58,🤷
I’m 30 wanting to make this guy 12 years older my bf … wish me luck ☺️
❤❤❤❤so cute Verry handsome men Verry nice
32 yrs younger, not 232 !!! lol
I'm looking true love I'm 44 I looking 60years old
Iam 22 single gay need a older man for serious relationship
I imagine there would be plenty of men open to that!
All of this focus on money and not the psychology of an older/younger relationship is a real turn off. It's basic. I want to know why I have always been sexually attracted to men 60 plus. The whole "sugar daddy" and "house boy" thing is played out and boring. We know all about that.
And again - money is not everything.
So true!
Water is watery... Bla.. Bla.. Bla.. Too much words, too less is said...
The pictures used in the thumbnails those are a father and his son
😂😂😂ewwwww
Yeah, someone pointed that out. Very sorry; didn't mean to do that. I use a stock photo company online and picked the image quickly of older/younger men. You get the idea. I'll try to be more selective about stock photos.
How about how to just find a date? 10 years single now. At 61 I'm about to throw in the towel. No one wants older unless u have $$$$ which I do not.
I'm 68 and willing
@@heinmolenaar6750 lol 😆
@@marcathens2951 ❤️💜💚🩵
Me age 40 year
That's awesome! A lot of the guys I work with in my therapy and coaching practice are around age 40. A lot goes on around that time in the "midlife transition", and I think it helps to have support for the various ways the challenges (and rewards) manifest themselves! gaycoachingla.com/life-coaching/ and gaytherapyla.com/therapy/
let's stop lying to each other, middle-aged gays who have a 20-year-old boyfriend get together with this young man because they fantasize about a lost youth, and the young man gets together with a top middle-aged man who has money, it's a story of mutual interest, no naivety in that.
I think you have to ask yourself why spending time with guys your own age is so nerve-wracking for you. Is it the fear of rejection that you perceive being more likely coming from younger guys?
I don't know who you are directing this comment to, but I am going to respond as though it was directed at anyone in a relationship with a large age gap:
I am 50 and was married to my 51 year old ex-husband for 14 years.
I had never entertained a relationship with a younger man, so when my current partner began to pursue me I requested him. Luckily, he is a very persistent person and refused to take no for an answer. After about 6 months, I agreed to give the relationship a chance.
Never been happier.
a young gay man of 20 will never get together with a gay man who is 58 and poor, you will never see that, so let's stop this hypocrisy, and the gay man of 58 is a symbol of security for the young man of 20 and often with a good financial situation and if the man of 58 is top with a big sex, it's the jackpot for the young man of 20.
Loook me one
Ok this is a visual video and we need to see your face when speaking to us…. NEXT
Hi. Yes, my podcast show "feeds" directly via Liberated Syndication into this UA-cam channel, audio only.
@@KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA You would have more success if you revealed your face. Currently it’s “impersonal, distant & unrelatable”. C/w studies.
Hello ,, I'm from California 40 yrs old single gay,, are you????
@You Wish Bishhh I'm not comfortable here on UA-cam to discuss further about myself, my email contact is johnfuture01@gmail.com
I'm 23 from India
I,m 40 from Ohio
"Imcome, Income, Imcome." That's all I get from you. 👎👎👎
There are over 150 episodes to the podcast show. They cover many topics. I invite you to explore some and see which ones you might find helpful. Out of 150 topics, the odds are good one of them would be valuable to you -- and free.