I am a mixed woman who grew up ugly lol and basically all the friends I've had, of different races, were pretty. I never thought they were friends with me to look better. A lot of beautiful women, despite media representation, are also just good hearted people. I'm sure there are pretty women who use "ugly" friends for an ego boost but in my experience it's not the norm.
when you're beautiful you don't need props or ego boosts, you basically just want empathy as much as anyone else and to be left alone like everyone else - if you need scam your way into uh appearing beautiful it's bc u'r not
when you're beautiful you don't need props or ego boosts, you basically just want empathy as much as anyone else and to be left alone like everyone else - if you need to scam your way into appearing beautiful it's bc u'r not
So at my GROWN age, I had a girl act like this... 2 years ago. The thing is, she is mixed/ambiguous too. But when we started hanging out, she would say stuff like "You're so gorgeous. You look amazing... blah blah blah..." Well she actually pushed up on me and distanced myself from her. Fast forward and she she gets mad that I put her on ice, now she calls me ugly and average. Girl, Bye. We're in our 30s. Stop being a Groupie and Grow the Eff Up.
Even when they aren’t using you, Trying to learn from you or get “proximity privilege” they’ll still find you to be a desirable friend just to live vicariously through you if they’re deeply insecure. They fantasize that they’re you. A drunk companion admitted this to me before without vitriol, I felt sad for her
yup thats why i remove and block a lot of the women that try to come on here and spy or live vicariously through us. also i keep my most valuable content behind a paywall so that if spies want to watch it they have to pay
I can concur 💯%, and I can tell you as an older beautiful ex- model woman that less attractive women would befriend you to keep you from the men they want. It’s called the “Friend Technique,” that’s when unattractive women befriend you as a tactic to keep you “congenial” for the reason they know the man they want prefers beautiful women- you. 🙏🏽
Yes I feel like some women do that thing where it’s like “keep your friends close and your enemies closer”. I’ve definitely had frenemies in my past. Some people want to get close to you so they can study you and copy you.
One thing I notice is that when I give a compliment to a woman they maybe think I am not being genuine and just saying it to gain something. This space is like a therapy haha i know this context is different than mine as this talk about USA but it happen to me in Puerto Rico. Thank you for this.
Its bad trying to be friends with women that aren't pretty because they will gaslight or she wil try to get mad at what you get... I just stick too women that are beautiful
Absolutely.. they seek ME to be friends with so they can benefit.. then joke about me “taking one for the team” for being the one getting the access. Definitely benefited from me for access and perks
Yes I literally helped some of my plus size friends get into runway modeling (they didn’t know you could be plus size and do runway.) we would practice our walks together, do makeup together for the castings etc. they definitely benefited from my connections for sure .
See this is exactly why I try to stay away from making ultra attractive friends, bcuz they ALWAYS think it’s a secret agenda to being their friend. IM SO GLAD YOU EXPOSED THIS ! Now I don’t feel bad for dodging these types of females. I believe the pretty should stay friends w/the pretty✨, the average should stay friends w/ the average💅🏽, the basic w/the basic🫶🏽, & ugly w/the ugly🩶 ! (WHEWWW SO GOOD TO FINALLY GET THAT OFF MY CHEST SINCE MIDDLE SCHOOL, & I’M CURRENTLY 28!) 🤣💯
@@MsElfMannequin but there will always be a social status that ppl will fight to live up to, “keeping up with the jones” as they say to have the most money, the best aesthetics, the most beauty, the biggest trends. All of those things hold weight differently in each category of ppl I’ve named. There will never be an equally yoked, bcuz it’s always an odd ball out, or prettiest of the group. Insecurities exist in just about almost every human.
I think anyone can be friends with anyone if each person is willing to see the other as a person and have compassion for the other. Also what all the groups you listed have in common is that they all center men. If they aren't letting men pit them against each other then they would get along. But I see why you would think this given how the majority of women are male centered.
I’ve noticed girls like this are too excited and eager to be my friend. They want to know everything about me. Then suddenly there’s a shift and they try to bring you down every chance they get
Its sad but as a man. You learn to make the least attractive girls smile first before talking to the attractive one. Because they will hate, and you can see the pressure on the attractive one face because she really wants to talk to you. On several occasions the girl will give you her number behind their back.
That makes sense. A ex friend believed that I have pretty privileged and successfully pressure me into getting in trouble with a male friend. She felt that she was the only dsb girl in class. 😢 I am a very introvert and like to keep things to myself. 🎉❤I love this video.🎉😊😅
I’ve experienced with women who looked like me and some who did not and either way it’s disappointing and super annoying-they typically end up stabbing you in the back bc they weren’t there for YOU from the start-only what they can gain from being connected to you…usually men and attention when you go out…great video!!! ❤
This happened to me in high school,well it was the first time anyone had ever TOLD me they were hanging out with me because I was light. A group of girls recruited me to be in their “pretty light skinned gang” 😂
Unfortunately I have to break down my "friendships" in 3 categories: Are we feeding each other? Are we fuggin each other? Are we financing each other?🤭 Otherwise we are just "outing associates". Women eventually reveal themselves. I've been married, divorced, dating again, but one thing I don't do whatsoever is have "girl talk" where I KNOW her talking points would be 180 from mine causing a reason to "side eye" and "why her?"🤔🤨
oooooh thats a good point. my friends must be outing associates then because thats seriously all i was looking for. i was not looking for random unsolicited advice on my personal life etc. just friends to do fun stuff with. and NO ONE in real life knows i have a youtube channel etc.
Hey can you do another video on mixed race bullying in adolescence or at institutions (church, college, work) and it's effects. There is a story that has had me pretty torn for a while now about a young girl out of Connecticut who was harassed and stalked by her classmates and when she tried to stand up for herself, was suspended and the teachers joined in on the abuse. Her mom constantly faught for it to be addressed at the school and the opposite was done. The girl ended her life. I will try to find the story. I have been watching channels and any outlets like this that are speaking about multiracial issues because I have personally experienced and witnessed a grievous amount of abuse, injustice and- by all accounts- illegal behavior done towards people like us that is constantly justified and normalized.
Thank you so much for putting this into words! I didn't have the capacity to conceptualize it on this level. And this break down is great. I would love more stuff like this because being able to give it a name or understand that others had the same experience is eye opening.
yes thank you! this is a newer community so we are still coming up with a language to describe our experiences too. but we DO have commonalities. we are not all delusional like people try to say .
I've dealt with the same thing it's so sad people think of me this way! I have a big heart and love for others. I don't hang around people because of what they look like I hangout with them because of who they are. But because people are always so quick to judge people by their appearance I'm seen as if I hang around less attractive people to make myself look better and that's not what it is. I just love hanging around good ppl I do not care what u look like as long as u are drama free and your cool with me and I'm cool with you I'd love to hangout with u. I hate ppl judge us by our appearance just because we are seen as beautiful on the outside does not mean we think we are better than others!!!
@@ThePhoenix3712uh no I don’t pursue friendship with unattractive unambiguous women, it was always the other way around, I actually prefer to be friends with other pretty women like me 😊
Yes, yes & more yes. I had VIP cards to all the hot clubs. This allowed me to cut the line, unlimited free drinks & food along with all the secret after party activities. Also, I can't remember the last time I have paid to eat at a restaurant because the wait staff tells us that the bill has been settled. I too was nieve, but soon realized that I was being used for my hookup.
I honestly cant tell if im an exotical bc im haitian and my parenrs are both black and i identift as dark skin although others have addressed me as light, but i dont bc i view light skin as being megan markles skin tone and i am medium dark in most foundations and have afro textured 4c hair. But i feel i look like some of the pictures of the women in this video and i definitely benefit from pretty privelege and people have assumed im latino even though im darker skinned than typical latino.
This video right here! I was very dark skinned growing up, I was made fun of and shamed by family. Over the years I became lighter around Gabriel Union's complexion. I have gotten a bit lighter now. Anywho I have a few dark sinned friends, and I was always accused of hanging with the ugly girls so I stand out, which obviously isn't true. I was bullied in school and have always been an introvert and socially awkward. Therefore, I always gravitate towards the not so popular people because I don't like cliques and popular people that draw attention to themselves. My dark skinned friends have mentioned my skin tone in passing, trying to single me out, perhaps them being foreign, and dark skinned they just assumed I wouldn't hang out with them maybe based on past experiences. The thing is, they're not even ugly and rhey know it, but I think they're just trying to sinhke me out. Not to say we speak on our/ their struggles, except they are all foreigners in my country, but one of them made a point ti say she looked out for dark skinned people to be friends with because she assumed they were definitely foreign, and would be accepted, that was her safe space. They have pit me against other light skins and would say I am prettier, because I was not always light skinned, but I'm pretty sure if our friendship ends, they would definitely hate on me and create false narratives like how I wanted to stand out, based on how they talk about other light skinned people.
Omg since I’ve been in cosmetology school, I’m apart of the small percentage of girls who wear my natural curly hair in unique styles & there have been about 3 times now where I’ll get a hairstyle that nobody in the school has had they will hover around the chair while I’m getting it done then the following week someone will come in with that style when I think they never would’ve even thought to try that style or maybe would have even thought it was ugly if another person tried it..
Omg I’ve heard this before from someone I considered a friend because she got jealous of me hanging out with another girl who was an ubw and overweight. I actually genuinely liked her and hung out with her because she was really sweet and funny. But my other friend who, herself was MLS also had an overweight friend who she claimed as her best friend to whoever would listen now I’m thinking maybe she was projecting how she saw her “ best friend “ on me and thought I was doing the same 😮 so I think it’s possible that some people do that but they also do the opposite like you said where an “ ugly” girl would only want hang out with us just to get some attention by proxy and use us for the benefits they would never get if we weren’t there …and they would NEVER admit it ! People are weird smh
With few exceptions--these "friends" will eventually betray you in the end.
Omg so true! The friend who got pregnant by the guy who tried to hit on me ended up eventually wanting to fight me
Yep because in the end, they were always jealous
FACTS!!
10000%!!!
That's the worst thing you can do..
I am a mixed woman who grew up ugly lol and basically all the friends I've had, of different races, were pretty. I never thought they were friends with me to look better. A lot of beautiful women, despite media representation, are also just good hearted people. I'm sure there are pretty women who use "ugly" friends for an ego boost but in my experience it's not the norm.
when you're beautiful you don't
need props or ego boosts, you
basically just want empathy as
much as anyone else and to be
left alone like everyone else - if
you need scam your way into uh
appearing beautiful it's bc u'r not
when you're beautiful you don't
need props or ego boosts, you
basically just want empathy as
much as anyone else and to be
left alone like everyone else - if
you need to scam your way into
appearing beautiful it's bc u'r not
So at my GROWN age, I had a girl act like this... 2 years ago. The thing is, she is mixed/ambiguous too. But when we started hanging out, she would say stuff like "You're so gorgeous. You look amazing... blah blah blah..." Well she actually pushed up on me and distanced myself from her. Fast forward and she she gets mad that I put her on ice, now she calls me ugly and average. Girl, Bye. We're in our 30s. Stop being a Groupie and Grow the Eff Up.
Even when they aren’t using you,
Trying to learn from you or get “proximity privilege” they’ll still find you to be a desirable friend just to live vicariously through you if they’re deeply insecure. They fantasize that they’re you. A drunk companion admitted this to me before without vitriol, I felt sad for her
yup thats why i remove and block a lot of the women that try to come on here and spy or live vicariously through us. also i keep my most valuable content behind a paywall so that if spies want to watch it they have to pay
I can concur 💯%, and I can tell you as an older beautiful ex- model woman that less attractive women would befriend you to keep you from the men they want. It’s called the “Friend Technique,” that’s when unattractive women befriend you as a tactic to keep you “congenial” for the reason they know the man they want prefers beautiful women- you. 🙏🏽
Yes I feel like some women do that thing where it’s like “keep your friends close and your enemies closer”. I’ve definitely had frenemies in my past. Some people want to get close to you so they can study you and copy you.
One thing I notice is that when I give a compliment to a woman they maybe think I am not being genuine and just saying it to gain something. This space is like a therapy haha i know this context is different than mine as this talk about USA but it happen to me in Puerto Rico. Thank you for this.
yes! this is supposed to be a therapeutic space for us! and i have women on this channel from all over the world!
Its bad trying to be friends with women that aren't pretty because they will gaslight or she wil try to get mad at what you get... I just stick too women that are beautiful
Imagine if exoticals had the “you can’t sit with us!” Mentality. People literally look for trouble & it’s weird 💯
Absolutely.. they seek ME to be friends with so they can benefit.. then joke about me “taking one for the team” for being the one getting the access. Definitely benefited from me for access and perks
Yes I literally helped some of my plus size friends get into runway modeling (they didn’t know you could be plus size and do runway.) we would practice our walks together, do makeup together for the castings etc. they definitely benefited from my connections for sure .
See this is exactly why I try to stay away from making ultra attractive friends, bcuz they ALWAYS think it’s a secret agenda to being their friend. IM SO GLAD YOU EXPOSED THIS ! Now I don’t feel bad for dodging these types of females.
I believe the pretty should stay friends w/the pretty✨, the average should stay friends w/ the average💅🏽, the basic w/the basic🫶🏽, & ugly w/the ugly🩶 ! (WHEWWW SO GOOD TO FINALLY GET THAT OFF MY CHEST SINCE MIDDLE SCHOOL, & I’M CURRENTLY 28!) 🤣💯
I disagree! I think people should be friends if they are evenly yoked and confident.
@@MsElfMannequin but there will always be a social status that ppl will fight to live up to, “keeping up with the jones” as they say to have the most money, the best aesthetics, the most beauty, the biggest trends. All of those things hold weight differently in each category of ppl I’ve named. There will never be an equally yoked, bcuz it’s always an odd ball out, or prettiest of the group. Insecurities exist in just about almost every human.
@@sunshineloveyasharal4768 That's only women who are competitive and comparative of each other. Not all women are like that, regardless of looks.
I always aim to be the middle friend because I know how bullying with girls work If you are the odd one out or the drop dead gorgeous one.
I think anyone can be friends with anyone if each person is willing to see the other as a person and have compassion for the other. Also what all the groups you listed have in common is that they all center men. If they aren't letting men pit them against each other then they would get along. But I see why you would think this given how the majority of women are male centered.
I’ve noticed girls like this are too excited and eager to be my friend. They want to know everything about me. Then suddenly there’s a shift and they try to bring you down every chance they get
Its sad but as a man. You learn to make the least attractive girls smile first before talking to the attractive one. Because they will hate, and you can see the pressure on the attractive one face because she really wants to talk to you. On several occasions the girl will give you her number behind their back.
That makes sense. A ex friend believed that I have pretty privileged and successfully pressure me into getting in trouble with a male friend. She felt that she was the only dsb girl in class. 😢 I am a very introvert and like to keep things to myself. 🎉❤I love this video.🎉😊😅
Thanks for watching ❤
Can you make a video about why it’s dangerous to be both pretty and nice? Especially as an exotical!
yes omg people try to walk all over you!
I’ve experienced with women who looked like me and some who did not and either way it’s disappointing and super annoying-they typically end up stabbing you in the back bc they weren’t there for YOU from the start-only what they can gain from being connected to you…usually men and attention when you go out…great video!!! ❤
I have experienced this they always turn on you and they love latching on to mls to use people or want to compete all the time.
This happened to me in high school,well it was the first time anyone had ever TOLD me they were hanging out with me because I was light.
A group of girls recruited me to be in their “pretty light skinned gang” 😂
😂😂😂
Unfortunately I have to break down my "friendships" in 3 categories: Are we feeding each other? Are we fuggin each other?
Are we financing each other?🤭
Otherwise we are just "outing associates". Women eventually reveal themselves. I've been married, divorced, dating again, but one thing I don't do whatsoever is have "girl talk" where I KNOW her talking points would be 180 from mine causing a reason to "side eye" and "why her?"🤔🤨
oooooh thats a good point. my friends must be outing associates then because thats seriously all i was looking for. i was not looking for random unsolicited advice on my personal life etc. just friends to do fun stuff with. and NO ONE in real life knows i have a youtube channel etc.
@@ExoticalsUnited Keep it cute🥰
Hey can you do another video on mixed race bullying in adolescence or at institutions (church, college, work) and it's effects. There is a story that has had me pretty torn for a while now about a young girl out of Connecticut who was harassed and stalked by her classmates and when she tried to stand up for herself, was suspended and the teachers joined in on the abuse. Her mom constantly faught for it to be addressed at the school and the opposite was done. The girl ended her life. I will try to find the story. I have been watching channels and any outlets like this that are speaking about multiracial issues because I have personally experienced and witnessed a grievous amount of abuse, injustice and- by all accounts- illegal behavior done towards people like us that is constantly justified and normalized.
“ she got a baby him till this day “…………… 👀.. 😳😂😂
😂😂😂 it’s the desperation for me
That is very weird behavior, that level of desperation for attention is sad
Thank you so much for putting this into words! I didn't have the capacity to conceptualize it on this level. And this break down is great. I would love more stuff like this because being able to give it a name or understand that others had the same experience is eye opening.
yes thank you! this is a newer community so we are still coming up with a language to describe our experiences too. but we DO have commonalities. we are not all delusional like people try to say .
@@ExoticalsUnited Exactly 💯 it's so refreshing to find a space free from gaslighting
Yes, I’ve definitely been told I hung out with more unattractive girls in the past so I can be the prettiest one which doesn’t make any sense lol
I had never even heard of the whole choosing friends based on ugliness thing until this colorism convo started online .
I've dealt with the same thing it's so sad people think of me this way! I have a big heart and love for others. I don't hang around people because of what they look like I hangout with them because of who they are. But because people are always so quick to judge people by their appearance I'm seen as if I hang around less attractive people to make myself look better and that's not what it is. I just love hanging around good ppl I do not care what u look like as long as u are drama free and your cool with me and I'm cool with you I'd love to hangout with u. I hate ppl judge us by our appearance just because we are seen as beautiful on the outside does not mean we think we are better than others!!!
@@ThePhoenix3712uh no I don’t pursue friendship with unattractive unambiguous women, it was always the other way around, I actually prefer to be friends with other pretty women like me 😊
Damn come through with the videos!!! You be goin in!!! 😂😂❤
Lmao thanks 😂
Yes, yes & more yes. I had VIP cards to all the hot clubs. This allowed me to cut the line, unlimited free drinks & food along with all the secret after party activities. Also, I can't remember the last time I have paid to eat at a restaurant because the wait staff tells us that the bill has been settled. I too was nieve, but soon realized that I was being used for my hookup.
Exactly!
You gotta look up jilly anais she has friends who are pretty and they always showed each other love
I honestly cant tell if im an exotical bc im haitian and my parenrs are both black and i identift as dark skin although others have addressed me as light, but i dont bc i view light skin as being megan markles skin tone and i am medium dark in most foundations and have afro textured 4c hair. But i feel i look like some of the pictures of the women in this video and i definitely benefit from pretty privelege and people have assumed im latino even though im darker skinned than typical latino.
Girl you preaching what every mls go through
Going in!
This video right here! I was very dark skinned growing up, I was made fun of and shamed by family. Over the years I became lighter around Gabriel Union's complexion. I have gotten a bit lighter now. Anywho I have a few dark sinned friends, and I was always accused of hanging with the ugly girls so I stand out, which obviously isn't true. I was bullied in school and have always been an introvert and socially awkward. Therefore, I always gravitate towards the not so popular people because I don't like cliques and popular people that draw attention to themselves.
My dark skinned friends have mentioned my skin tone in passing, trying to single me out, perhaps them being foreign, and dark skinned they just assumed I wouldn't hang out with them maybe based on past experiences. The thing is, they're not even ugly and rhey know it, but I think they're just trying to sinhke me out.
Not to say we speak on our/ their struggles, except they are all foreigners in my country, but one of them made a point ti say she looked out for dark skinned people to be friends with because she assumed they were definitely foreign, and would be accepted, that was her safe space. They have pit me against other light skins and would say I am prettier, because I was not always light skinned, but I'm pretty sure if our friendship ends, they would definitely hate on me and create false narratives like how I wanted to stand out, based on how they talk about other light skinned people.
Yes I’m doing a video on this soon . That’s their own inferiority complex talking
Good stuff ❤
The bait and switch.
Omg since I’ve been in cosmetology school, I’m apart of the small percentage of girls who wear my natural curly hair in unique styles & there have been about 3 times now where I’ll get a hairstyle that nobody in the school has had they will hover around the chair while I’m getting it done then the following week someone will come in with that style when I think they never would’ve even thought to try that style or maybe would have even thought it was ugly if another person tried it..
Omg yes!!!
Omg I’ve heard this before from someone I considered a friend because she got jealous of me hanging out with another girl who was an ubw and overweight. I actually genuinely liked her and hung out with her because she was really sweet and funny. But my other friend who, herself was MLS also had an overweight friend who she claimed as her best friend to whoever would listen now I’m thinking maybe she was projecting how she saw her “ best friend “ on me and thought I was doing the same 😮 so I think it’s possible that some people do that but they also do the opposite like you said where an “ ugly” girl would only want hang out with us just to get some attention by proxy and use us for the benefits they would never get if we weren’t there …and they would NEVER admit it ! People are weird smh