The Vote Tory Rap (UK General Election 2024)
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- Опубліковано 17 жов 2024
- The Vote Tory Rap
Vote Conservatives on July 4th!
This song is out NOW on Spotify, Apple Music, and all major streaming platforms.
Want the full facts? Read the Fact Check of the Vote Tory Rap here! All lyrics individually annotated and referenced:
www.mchammersm...
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Written and performed by MC Hammersmith
Beat produced by Demko Music
Mixed and mastered by Nano Sigo
Video directed by Perry Jonsson
Cinematography by Ross Imlach
With thanks to Christine Simpson and Sam Irving
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Website:
www.mchammersmi...
Facebook:
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Instagram:
/ mc_hammersmith
Twitter:
/ mc_hammersmith
TikTok:
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Spotify:
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Apple Music:
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MC Hammersmith is a multi-award winning hip hop comedian. He performs improvised and scripted hip hop comedy, and is the world's leading freestyle rapper to ever emerge from the ghetto of middle class west London.
Live UK shows in 2024! Full UK Tour in 2025 to be announced soon. Tickets:
www.mchammersm...
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When I saw this I was like 'this better be satire, I don't even want to give them my view otherwise'.
Thankfully we're safe. No tory has bars like that.
Wowza well, if it's The Batter from Off endorsed!
E
Hahaha. I was thinking exactly the same- (hovers over play apprehensively)
wy
What about Kanye?
"For people of colour and normal people too" lmaooooo
My day has been blessed by this on my feed
stolen from Man City Manager Pep Guardiola
E
@@EEEEEEEE E
@@jonnyw819e
‘He’s not a racist he just wants reform’ 🔥 🔥 🔥
Absolutely top tier line
Nigel Farage core
Racist Reform.
Oh oh I just got it
Reform party type beat 🔥
No wait, this is Keir Starmer's. Chef's kiss
amazing
@@Jonathan.-bi3cuIt is a joke so not all of them are true, but some are
@@Anonyomus_commenter bot
it's funny because it's horrific (and true)
if you don't laugh you'll cry
To be fair, I HAD forgotten about Liz Truss
Repression is generally what happens to massive trauma so you don't end up consciously thinking about it.
how? what
@@Fenic2980 I was making a joke - Truss is a national collective trauma
Cabbage, Or was it a Lettuce ?
@@puddingloving lettuce.
"they gave us brexit which has gone rEally well" 😭
perfectly timed voice crack
E
Amazing
Bro dropping bars whilst looking like Jacob Reese Mogg
He got his nanny to help him write the fast parts
He puts the OG into Jacob Rees Mogg
That is incredibly rude- you had better apologise
thats wild
DAMN!
Somehow in a song about the million failures of the Tories, the slam on starmers at 4:50 hits the hardest
Hey now to be fair, he's a Tory at heart too
except, unlike most of the points made about the Tories, some of the points about Starmer weren't true (he doesn't support lower income tax for higher earners for example).
In fairness not all of the points are true. Many are, unfortunately, but the joke was is that actually is Rishi’s views- he was making the point that they are the same
@@elliebingo I mean the worst part is, he isn't, not saying he's some radical but this lurch to the right is him getting close to more power and being weak. And so like so many, now he just says whatever people tell him to say because they tell him that will guarantee his win.
@@steadyoneddie There's a fact sheet linked for each lyric
Thank god this is satire lol
God he fucking sounds the part though
What do you mean I only heard praise and love for our great Tory leaders
I just wish Labour was actually going to improve anything
@@Timlagor things can only get better
@@nytemare5616 If you actually believe that you're a fool
"Funded by eeeuuuuuhh.." lmao
E
Ewwwwww
By who?
this generates huge horrible histories energy
Omg yeah. See this on Horrible Histories in 100 years when they cover the Tormenting Twenties
@@yeethittter1285 do you think they'd mention Skibidi toilet
@@bepisthescienceman4202 Only if that supposed movie actually comes out
Horrible Histories or Rap Battles of History?
@@Alan_Duval Horrible Histories
Alternative pseudonyms:
- Snoop Mogg
- So Tory us B.I.G.
- Public school Enemy
DJ BJ (But that only really worked when BJ was actually in charge)
SoTORYus B.I.G. is fucking hilarious! I mean, Snoop Mogg is pretty funny too, tbh…. But B.I.G. really tickled me this dreary eve of democracy in action 😩🤞🏽😂
Public school enemy 😭😭😭
You mean private school? A public school is attended and funded by the public through tax
@@samuelpinder1215 No, his use of ‘Public School’ is correct.
In the UK, privately funded educational institutions are referred to as public schools. Schools like a typical local Comprehensive, the few remaining Grammar schools and even the newly formed Academies, funded through taxes are on the whole called ‘State Schools’… because they are run by the local authorities (within and on behalf of the state).
It seems very backwards I know, but that is just the way it’s always been. I’ve forgotten why exactly, but a quick google search should give you the precise reasoning behind the madness! 😂
"Thank the police" went over so many people's heads lmao that was genius
what specifically
@@Manwithrizz
Straight outta Compton.
There's a line f the police.
Also ties in with the recent defund the police movement
Im so hoping theres some tory watching this not realising its satire and just being like "YEAH WERE SO GREAT YEAH"
the start was subtle enough that i was honestly expecting you to be serious for the first 30 seconds or so lmao
He played us like a damn fiddle
Realistically I don't think that they would hire a "gangsta rapper"
I love the line “who’s to blame… ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS” instead of the tories lmao
That false rhyme with the no hopes or glories to ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS! got me laughing 😂
"Oh no wait... this is Keir Starmers" 😂😂😂
I like how this has a dystopian feel, but a dystopia that is dying, with the singer panicking more and more.
Also, unironically, this guy could do better than Sunak if he tried.
The amount of people who COULDN’T do better than Sunak can be counted by reform’s vote share
@@Anonyomus_commenter lol
The immigrants' children Suela/Pritti reference 👌
E
australian here. UK politics is fucking hysterical i loved this. other countries' shitshows are good for distracting us from our own garbage fires :)
As bad as it is in Oz & NZ we can always revel in & relish the fact that other places have it far worse. Even UK can sigh in relief that at least they're not the USA LOL
@@KevinWarburton-tv2iy
The UK is definitely doing much worse than the US, especially economically. And, what a strange philosophy to hold man.
UK is still the 6th biggest Economy in the world, 9th by purchasing power. UK does have a problem with Knife Crime but nowhere near the amount of Gun Crime. UK has lots & lots of Metrics where it beats the USA LOL
No, it's not a particularly strange philosophy to recognise that all things are relative & as bad as you think it is in your neck of the woods there is always somewhere else worse off.
We tend to think things are bad in our room without actually touching grass to realise hey, things are nowhere near as bad here as they could be LOL.
All I know Is I'd rather be here in Australasia than in both shitty UK & USA.
@@KevinWarburton-tv2iy
>UK is still the 6th biggest Economy in the world, 9th by purchasing power. UK does have a problem with Knife Crime but nowhere near the amount of Gun Crime. UK has lots & lots of Metrics where it beats the USA LOL
Yes, which was a drop from where it was in 2020 (5th largest). Since the end of the pandemic-induced economic crisis, financial forecasters have consistently reported that the UK will experience the slowest economic growth out of any other nation in G7 (BBC, "UK forecast for slowest growth of richest nations next year"). This is particularly important in terms of real wages, as American real wages saw a major boost, particularly for low-income workers (Joseph Politano, Apricitas Economics, "Are Real Wages Rising?"). In comparison, the UK's economy continues to stagnate, particularly in terms of productivity and employment (Joseph Politano, Apricitas Economics, "The UK's Stagnation"). The UK is facing many of the same crises that the US, particularly in the health and housing sectors, which in some ways has been more pronounced in the former. Finally, while I do agree that US gun violence is still a significant problem, these metrics alongside overall crime continue to decline significantly (Chandler Hall, Center of American Progress, "Early 2024 Data Show Promising Signs of Another Historic Decline in Gun Violence").
When your country would become as poor as Mississippi after removing your wealthiest region (London), I would consider it a major issue (John Burn-Murdoch, Financial Times, "Is Britain really as poor as Mississippi?").
>No, it's not a particularly strange philosophy to recognise that all things are relative & as bad as you think it is in your neck of the woods there is always somewhere else worse off. We tend to think things are bad in our room without actually touching grass to realise hey, things are nowhere near as bad here as they could be LOL.
I think that it is fair to hold a preference about where you would like to be located on the basis of governance. However, it becomes a problem when it develops into a form of superiority complex, particularly against the people that live in the systems you view as worse off.
>All I know Is I'd rather be here in Australasia than in both shitty UK & USA.
And likewise, despite its problems, I'll always prefer to live in the USA than Australasia or the UK.
The only reason this hasn't gone viral is its title lmao, I hardly wanted to click it thinking it was not satire
I don't get it what is "satire"?
@@hen-la joke :3
@@StreetCqt__ :3
Given how shit the last 14 years have been I cant fathom how anyone could still vote tory this election.
Who would look at our past 5 prime ministers and think "maybe they just need another go at it?"
@@Sootielove Insanity, literally.
Because they re thick and selfish here
And who's to blame? *A pause long enough for everyone to fill in "The Tories"* Illegal immigrants
THE AUTOMATED PLAYERS I PROCLAIM-
"And pledges that don't legally have to happen....."😂😂😂😂
ok the keir starmer bit was amazing 😭... guys I think we're fucked
Yeah but don’t worry! If your an immigrant then you’ll be shipped off to Rwanda.
Vote Lib Dem or Green. Labours going to get in whatever we do; they need a left opposition keeping them from veering gammonward.
@@rationalroundhead6739 Greens have lost the plot a bit, they are approaching reform levels of candidates being a bit mad.
Lib dem seems like the best option, but I will not vote for them because tactically they are not the candidate most likely to get the tories out in my area.
@@20storiesunder I don’t know of any incidents you could be referring to, so I can’t really speak on that.
I do know that there’s only 4 candidates we need to be concerned about this election; Brighton Pavilion, Waveney Valley, North Herefordshire and Bristol Central- because those are the seats that the polls give them a good chance of winning so they’re the 4 seats they’re actually campaigning in.
I’d prefer those seats go to them, rather than Labour or Tory competition; & I’d prefer a stronger left wing turnout overall.
'He didn't hide in that fridge. He was just warm.' Had me falling on the floor laughing. :D
MC Hammersmith for Prime Minister 👊😎
It'll happen eventually, they're letting everyone have a go at being tory leader
Not gonna lie, you had me worried in the intro :D
Absolutely killed it as always. This deserves to go viral :)
E
Not enough of the general public have the ability to recognise this as satire
You are WORRIED that not everyone votes and thinks like you? Really?
@@actionflower6706 yes. Voting for tories after what they've done to the country is a sin
@@misan2002 Splendid! So you have it aaaalll figured out then? Right? You have a solution to all extant problems? No matter HOW difficult the problem you have the solution. FINAL solution too if you think about it long enough. If you listen carefully enough to what your friends on the marches are saying and what the direct implications of that are. Best not think too carefully about that eh? Best take no responsibility for what has happened, is happening, will happen to other people in consequence of your choices. YOU are without sin is the main thing. By their works shall ye know them…God’s elect. The Party. The Party line. You have the single answer to everything don’t you? My car insurance. The weather. Energy security and inflation and social housing and capital flight and F35 vs Astute vs Challenger vs land force numbers vs winter fuel payments vs NHS projections vs HS2 vs social security vs enough prison places to accommodate all the thought criminals like me vs solving the fusion power vs wind turbines vs fossil fuel from 3rd world murder factories. Your answer is:- level slanders suffixed with “ist” at my expense and ALL those problems will go away. Taking Israel of the map is seems like a partial solution along those lines eh? Probably NOT going to happen but you enjoy shouting about it to relieve your virtuous feelings and it’s not like you are doing any lrreversible HARM eh? Nothing that will get you personally harmed in the short term…other people..not your concern.
This is amazing. 🤣
Also, the "oh wait, this is Keir Starmer's" had me laughing. He's obviously the better choice, but yeah, definitely not perfect.
he is the better choice, but that doesn't mean a whole lot anymore 😢
Honestly if Labour get a big enough majority the left of the party may be able to work with the SNP and Liberal Democrats to get actually good policy through
@@Anonyomus_commenter Hopefully
That aged well.
@@ninjadudeofficial It has. He was still obviously the better choice, but still not perfect. My comment didn’t given how badly the SNP did but hey, it was always a pipe dream.
"If you've met a trans woman, which i never have" God thats painfully real
There are no Trans Women. Just men pretending to be Women. So in fact it's actually impossible to meet a Trans Woman. They're not real. just figments of peoples fevered imaginations.
@@KevinWarburton-tv2iy I've met several trans men and trans women, in fact, there are tons of trans people that post videos online, so there is, in fact, evidence for the existence of trans people.
I met tons of old men with make up and bra nearby kindergartens.
@@Zombiemancz No, you haven't, you just like spreading misinformation so that you can fabricate a reason to punch down on the underprivileged. Let me guess, are they also eating the dogs?
@@Zombiemancz Do you need to depend on stereotypical caricatures to make your point?
Some history teacher will probably play this video in 50 years
"The Tories can't be antisemitic when it's recognized, they've sent like half a billion pounds to finance Israel's genoci-"
got me dying
Bro dissed reform labour and the tories while spitting bars. So who do we vote for? Niko omilana?
He was on a Beta Squad video as well that's how I found him
lib dem
Lib Dem, although by the sound of his tone in the annotated lyrics (see description) he seems like a SNP supporter (he lives in Edinburgh)
Greens
This is fucking stupendous. It's like if Jonathan Pie and Dan Bull had a collab! Thank you, you have opened my eyes!
I will vote (DAMN NEAR ANY-FUCKING-ONE BUT) Tory!
Not reform please.
@@vickyrobinson659hence the near
@@vickyrobinson659 Don't worry, I won't
honestly cathartic to hear so much of the frustration summated so well. honestly amazing haha
People of color... And normal people too 😂 killed me. It's so accurate to how racism manifest in the UK
smiling at the newspaper during the increased poverty line is so well on the nose
This would be so funny... if I didn't live in the UK. Good work
That voting record bit was amazing 😂 vote green 💚
Love the greens, but from what I've read that voting record bit is in some cases cherrypicked and other cases completely wrong
@@Jonathan.-bi3cu Honestly I'm not surprised, it did sound a bit harsh, but it's undeniable that Labour has swung to the right under Kier and he's scrapped almost all the left wing policies he won the leadership election on. Labour are going to win a landslide regardless so we might as well vote green to show them their support from progressives isn't unconditional.
Vote tactically, which occasionally does mean green.
@@gregoryclark8217 My tactical vote to keep tories & reform out is a very niche local right wing party. Tactical voting isn't always the answer. I won't vote any right wing party and if my vote means nothing here, anyway, I might as well vote who I want.
Vote litteraly anything else other than green, they are woke loonines with zero economic understanding, or understanding of anything tbh
"Food banks austerity, no hopes or glories; And who's to blame? ...Illegal immigrants." :D I like what you did there.
Yep, and tories rhyme with glories.
MC Hammersmith's Magnum Opus
John Oliver is full of surprises! ;)
This is the British John Oliver. Wait...
This is definitely something he would do.
I'm not even British but this was a banger
3:24 it's actually impressive how this immediately made me hear in my head "the fucking Tories"
Kendrick got some competition...
Love the production qualities in this stellar work, Mr Hammersmith ❤❤❤
5:05 The leaked footage of the Labour MP saying the Cons and Labour were working together to generate fear around indy really adds to this bar.
Sounds amazing, great work!
It came out that he was an actor I'm quite sure
@@Valorantplayer2727have you a source for that?
The what? You making this up?
@@Altoar it happened the guy they hired had worked for channel 4 before niguel farage made a video going over it
@CrackaPackify the guy has a website where he promotes his acting services....
Also something abt he plays the rough mafia type a lot
''Funded by eeeeeeuuuuuuuhhhhhhh'',sounds like the current Dutch parliament
So real :’)
and france also
"Funded by UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
the quote of the Tory government right there
‘People of colour and normal people too’. Bloody hell, you’re brave with that line.
This needs to go viral
Okay but the backing music actually slaps. The top tier satire is just the cherry on top
You know I was going into this comment section fully convinced that it was going to be full of conservatives
They still exist?
UA-cam purges all negative comments so....
@@Anonyomus_commenter yeah, but they're dying out because of cuts to carehomes.
@@cookiecraze1310😭😭😭
As an American, there’s quite a lot of similarities here.
But also a ton of differences. Alot of the stuff the tories do are based on playbooks written in the US and while they did alot of damage alot of it just doesn't work here - too different of a culture...so far.
Similar but different. There are a lot of stupid people in the UK, but generally speaking there is less tribalism and more cynicism. Most of the population are cynical about our politicians, and won't necessarily always back a candidate because they belong to a party, despite their ideology (e.g. conservative voters moving to ReformUK, or labour voters moving to greens).
Most do follow any party lines but there is enough of the population that doesn't.
This means that things will always swing the other way after a while.
America also has political institutions and electoral structures that are rigid and prevent any meaningful change from happening.
@@georgehh2574 I agree completely other than Labour voters moving to Greens. The Lib Dems have had a recent spike while Labour has dropped a few points so I think its Labour Lib Dems instead of Greens probably because The Lib Dems are further left than Labour but not as extreme as the Greens.
@@georgehh2574 I think as long as we have this stupid 2 party system we'll be near indistinguishable though. Politically anyway. I mean it's nice that some constituencies back up their local MP who's a proper fella and get a seat for a Lib Dem or a Green but at the end of the day the Tories and Labour that have most of the seats will just shout over them and most of the population are forced to pick which of them they'd prefer to do the loudest shouting. Or at least hedge the bets against which of the two they would prefer shout a bit quieter.
UK: "Are you two really the best we've got to be the next prime minister of our great country?"
USA: hold my beer
Commenting for engagement. This is impeccable satire, good work
This is as close to supporting a Tory as I have ever been.
3:51 MY FAVORITE VERSE THAT VIOLATION GOES CRAZY
1:56 Unironically one of the smartest bars I think I've ever heard!
2:46 😂😂😂😂😂😂 "genoci- DEFENCE OPERATION!"
Better than killing kids (Palestine does this, which a big bad thing)
@@ProfessionalCyberbullySo's Israel
@@python1972 no. I dont really like nazis but you do you I guess 🤷♂️
This is gold mate, though I was hoping you'd rap one of those "this ad was authorized" style outros
the "like liz truss did" part reminded me of when my conservative classmate was outraged that labour won. he was talking about how labour would ruin the country and every point he mentioned i just thought (in Hammersmith's voice) "like liz truss did"
3:23 took me a second watch to realise im supposed to fill in the blank for "illegal immigrants" there.
3:52 As a trans girl I can confirm it's a very good and smart idea to completely ignore our identity and put us with a bunch of people who will likely attack us for our identity.
Grow the fuck up.
Don't worry about the people replying to you, they're random strangers who have never met you, so they can't really make any meaningful insults
As another transfem, God I hate this country-
@@harrypage3716if I said they're a minor would that make you interested? 😂😂😂
@@mallardofmodernia8092 😭
I discovered your channel after watching a beta squad video and im so happy I did, this is funny true and just very well put together. You definately deserve more views and subscibers!
over 300 likes with just 1100 views. This guy's going places
Was worried for the 1st 30-40 seconds. Not because I thought this was an actual Tory propaganda piece, but the intro was so disrespectful to hip-hop for a moment you still made me question if it was a character or not.
that was genuinely fucking amazing. thank good its satire lol
Do “Vote Reform” next election, please. I’m begging you. 😂😂
can we get an instrumental version? this beat is CRAZY FIRE!!!!
Bro, my dad literally would support every aspect of this. He threatened to disown me if I didn't enlist after highschool cos I "Need to show my loyalty to [king] and country" as if it's WW2 and he thinks i'm a fucking german spy, but luckily my mum was able to talk sense into him.
I wanted to enlist in America’s military but with how bad the Middle East is. And all the exemption rules I cannot.
I don't even live in Britain but this is hurting my sides from how much I'm laughing
you completely had me to begin with, i havnt laughed so hard in ages. Thank you so mcuh x
As a Labour member and campaigner, this is absolute magic. Think I might actually show this to my campaign group and our local MP! 😄
Hopefully taking note of the part about Keir Starmer turning Labour into the Red Tories
HARD YES. Thanks for sticking up for trans people
Earned a like with that Starmer bar!
Haha the Keir Starmer bit is mint, we’re screwed
the cut off from party like its lockdown was beautiful
Holy heck this is just fricken GREAT! Absolutely fantastic wordplay and jokes and love the Anthem as the music. Fantastic work mate
We’d all like to forget Liz Truss 😂
bro really just hit the double time triplet flow 4:20
Thank you, MC Hammersmith! This absolutely made my day
This video seems to have a reasonable budget. (Which is more than can be said about recent governments)
Grenfell called, they want their straight fire back.
"Funded by AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!"
Comedy gold. This has really cheered up my day.
does anyone else call rishi sunak rusty shoerack? Alot of people in my area call him that and i want to know how far that has spread
well I am now
Thank the police immediately got me lol this is brilliant
Honestly, I didn't know a mix of David Cameron and John Oliver could rap
You are seriously talented, word play is s tier, well done man.
You are actually so talented! Such a blast listening to this!
Whickkke'ed phat beetz from MC Hammersmith.
I don't know how many times I've listened to this-
Average labour voter
@@tarashek7865It literally attacks Starmer for an entire verse Wdym
This is unironically an amazing song even removing the satire.
We makin it out of the housing crisis with this one 🔥🔥🔥
These bars are immense, had to listen a few times before I caught the Braverman and Patel line. Keep going bud!
Oh god is satire thank christ
Why have I only just discovered you! You’re hilarious and very talented! I just discovered you through “British slim shady🤣” 🙌🏽❤️
ahh yes giving young people gus what could possibly go wrong
The "Oh, wait, this is Keir Starmer's" got me.
bro is dropping bars right now, thank the heavens the algorithm knows me
out of curiosity tho how painful was it to say you're a tory with such conviction?
@@shanesloth4419 they probably had to edit the video alot to get rid of the blood leaking out of his eyes after saying that.