3 THINGS to do when PEOPLE STARE at YOU with BAD INTENTIONS
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- Опубліковано 19 тра 2024
- Eye contact is a major display of intimidation. It provokes fights and enforces dominance. This week we discuss how to defend yourself against this form of social aggression when people are looking for a fight. It's all very simple psychology. Try this simple trick it works.
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ELEVATING YOUR FIGHT IQ: Videos blending Martial Arts, Crime Science, and Psychology.
Presented by Dr Mark Phillips Criminal Psychologist, Security Consultant, Martial Arts and Defensive Skills Instructor. An expert in Organised Crime, Hostage Taking, and Offender Profiling. Martial arts experience includes Wing Chun, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, Judo, Wrestling, Boxing, San Da Kickboxing, and MMA.
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I was bartender/bouncer at a pretty rough dive bar for 22 years. This video has some good advice. The looking back at them with the " dead soulless eyes" trick worked for me many times, because when one of these weak men stare at you with "bad intentions", the last thing they want is to have mistakenly picked a victim that is WAY crazier than they are.
Agreed! In my case I would add, that at some point in my life I decided I’m not afraid to die! This has helped me to be afraid of confrontations, but not give in to my fear!
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want be tortured or brain damaged!
that comes with experience. I'm a bouncer and I do that to. I don't talk much I look deep into your eyes and make you scream and when you run out of words what are you going to do? you wanted to be tough your words are finished and now? That person is going to think I'm screaming but this bouncer just looks right through me. Trust me trust me you broke them and they walk away
I was told the stare at the eyebrows trick from an older bouncer where I worked as a much younger man - he told me it gives them the impression that they're staring at a shark or a leopard seal (he was Polynesian), something that wouldn't think twice about eating them. After all these years, I can say it works pretty well.
Yep. Bartender here. 5'7" so I really had to figure this out quickly
@T Bone Thankfully some states are cracking down on "rough bars" -- by taking away their liquor license when there is fighting in or around their bar.
I’ve been training for 40 years. And EVERYTHING you said here is spot on. One night my wife accidentally bumped into a pregnant women in a bar. They got hot immediately. There were 15 of them, and just me. I jumped in, apologized and offered to buy a round for our mistake. I got everyone’s order and told my wife to wait by the door, I walked to the bar pretending I was ordering drinks. I told the bartender what happened. I waved to the group, gave them a thumbs up, then we left quickly before they had a chance to figure out what was going on. We were probably 5 miles out of town in our car before they realized what happened.
Why was a pregnant woman at a bar
@@nothuman1683 Hey you're picking holes in the plot..................🤣🤣🤣
Yeah we all saw Dumb and Dumber
🤣🤣🤣
💯 FUCKING GENUIS 💯
@Joe Public - spot on? No.
And I'm basing that on living and working in over 20 countries (whole EU, including UK now, Singapore, Hong Kong, LA, NY, Alaska, Hawaii, Canada, Australia, Japan... bla, bla, bla).
More often that not - all of this will get you killed with a lot of people, and I'm more than happy to write more based on my experience with people (as a former military man with also a psychology degree, and computer science one, and quite good with combat skills including tools - but even I would not advise that as a "general advice"; it is not the training as such, but people who you fighting with and their mental approach and attitude as some of them will simply try to kill you just because or even bite part of your face off: nose, lips, cheek, take your eyes out, crush your throat... usual crap, or will be under influence of heavy drugs, some psychopats, or even average looking members of organized crime organization: some eastern europeans, mexicans, or even specific cities like Caracas or Naples (hell even LA and NY), or people who simply don't care at all if you live or die, and so on) - I just don't want to repeat all of that writing with each post like that, or youtube videos.
But in the current world, I would have to disagree with you on that (that the advice is somehow "spot on" - as in a lot of cases some of them will simply get you killed, or just escalate the issue. Like some people mentioned: eye contact, souless one? Really? In this age... there will be a lot of people that will simply try to destroy you just for that, without any reason, or in best case put you in a hospital, and they wont care at all if you live or die, or if they go to prison or not).
Edit: grammar, formatting of text, spelling...
My dad was a war vet, and he's been a child through various wars as well. He always told my brothers and I not to fight. He also told us to avoid bad people, places, and things.
Makes sense. Don't invite trouble and it won't follow you.
yeah right @@JustChill-zd4ib
Wise advice.
Mine also fought in a horrific war, and also told me never to fight. However, when I asked him why not, he simply responded: "Because nothing is worth taking someone's life." Unfortunately, it took me over a decade to realize that he was so traumatized by the war that fighting and killing were one and the same to him.
Interesting. My grandfather was in WW2. He taught his sons and I his grandson to fight. He also taught me to never get flanked. He taught me to always wear a belt as a tool against weapons. He also said don't hangout when the sun goes down. He taught me to shoot guns. Throw spears and knives. He also taught me build shelter from the elements. Also taught me how to read and do math.
The Marines say it is not retreating, it is moving to a temporary defensive position.😂
Rule #1. Nothing good happens after midnight
where?
... and with alcohol in poor neighborhoods.
Yeah. I don’t drink alcohol or go to clubs or stay out after dark. But shit can happen in broad day light. Generally I just don’t go around the slums. Sucks for people that live in those places and large cities
Sexxx
Gremlins happen after midnight and nothing wrong with that
When I was a kid, I never realised what my dad was doing when he would ask me, without looking, to describe a room we'd walked into and the people in it. He never actually did explain it to me, but, as I've gotten older, I reckon he was teaching me to develop my situational awareness.
It's been an invaluable tool to me over the years and I hope to play the same game with my son as he grows up.
Excellent parenting. Making a game of serious things is the best way to easily ingrain useful skills like that. Smart man.
It happened to me. The guy had a knife. I never took my eyes off of him. He was very dangerous. But, he also realized that, I did not back down. Believe me, I was very scared, but I did not show it. I grabbed his arm.
If you ever have daughters, teach them this as well.
Best thing you can teach them...
I live in NW DC i grew up always watching surroundings car that drive by if window up kool if window down stay on sidewalk opposite of window always checking folks facial expressions, watching there hands if I can’t see them and I know there atension is on me em ready DTA DONT TRUST ANYBODY
In my experience, avoiding town centres at weekends is a great form of defense.
Yep, the bigger the group the dumber the people.
In Australia we have changed the term “sucker punch” to “cowards punch”
You could just call it an aussie punch.
I like that. Technically, both are accurate - Cowards throw em, Suckers receive em.
🤝
Yes and now they’re correctly named, COWARDS, a bit like those keyboard warriors who attempt to insult with an ignorant post.
😉😊
Or "king hit" - which is the dumbest term
In Hawaii it’s called a “false Crack” brah
Also, if the guy leaves whatever place you are, be wary when you also leave the place.
I know of a guy who almost died, because he called somebody names, who waited over 4 hours to attack him from behind, when that guy was alone.
Don't call people names, but do expect them to do everything to stab you in the back.
Parking lots at night: The perfect place for really bad things to happen.
heres a trick i used many times leaving motorcycle club houses bars etc ...for 5 or 10 min before you actually leave close one of your eyes so no light gets in ..then when you leave and go outside where usually its dark open that eye and you can see with it like a fkn wolf as the pupil has dilated large to let in the light and you can see better with that eye in the dark if worried about such
or if he leaves after you and follows you
@@thecelt4807 that trick is a good idea, get one eye acclimated to the dark. it's worth a try
My brother's friend was suckerpunched once at a party by a dude trying to impress some losers. He was k.o.'d and the dude left. But the next day he started to look for the dude until he found him and beat him up, he repeated that a couple of times when he saw the dude on the street and told him he was gonna keep doing it whenever he saw him. The dude ended avoiding going out anymore for months before asking for forgiveness.
Perfectly handled
This story is good enough for a new martial arts movie.
Beautiful
Sounds like the Vulcan Hello. :-D
That's what you do.
Wise words. A friend of mine, a trauma surgeon, once said: "if people knew how difficult is to repair one's bones, they wouldn't go along breaking them" . Anyway, knowing how to easily break the offender bones, usually gets You out of these situations.
This is such important information, my Dad always taught me to flat out ignore people like this and like you said it can actually infuriate them. I have personally noticed the difference from when I avoid eye contact compared to when I give them a good solid look (but not a long stare) is usually enough to make them feel like you're no pushover. It's a tricky balance, because you don't want to start fights but at the same time don't give off the message you're an easy target.
There's a 3rd option to play in the city. The wildcard. Look around aimlessly with eyes wide open and visibly mumbling to yourself until you work your way out the area. Assholes tend to avoid unpredictable wildcards and move on unless you engage. You're probably not a threat to their ego and you might be insane.
Like they say,you have to know,your mark.
Be very careful taking advice from people like this guy.. If your not ready to fight or die avoid eye contact. Some bad people just needs an excuse to hurt someone, it could be simple as making an eye contact. If you want to avoid trouble the best way is to leave.. and if you cant leave .. always hit first.. most of the time it will mess up the other persons confidents and you have a better chance of surviving. Always avoid getting hit first , because one punch can change everything , meaning life or death.. If your k.oed they can do what ever they want to u and you are Fck.
What situations you guys go to to need all this defence knowledge lmao I never had any such issues just always ignored people I was not interested in and never had trouble. Why would you look some crazy in the eye? Makes no sense to me.
You are extremely lucky to have never encountered these kinds of situations throughout your life. - or you come from a place where there isn’t a lot of violent crime etc. - all assumptions aside, the world is a cruel and callous place, kids get bullied and beaten up at school for being soft and quiet, people get mugged, stabbed, beaten, and murdered everyday, many at random and people that look like “an easy target”…
It is of the upmost importance for anyone to learn how to physically defend themselves. It is a vital skill, which might just save your life one day as it has mine and many others on more than one occasion.
I got bullied a lot at school and then got into martial arts: judo, karate, boxing. The confidence and calmness it gives you means that you don't even need to use it. And the physical conditioning gave me so many health benefits. Especially the boxing. And the friendships I made on the way were great, they were based on mutual respect.
I kicked the school bully in the nuts and made him cry. That solved my bullying problems for all of high school. Sadly I became a bit of a bully myself, regrets.
Exactly. I was a boxer and a bouncer and also had my share of street fights. You can tell immediately if somebody is a trained fighter first by the calm way they stand and look at you like "oh, this will be fun". And then if things escalate, the pose they take before the first punch is thrown. If one guy is all beating his chest and gesturing and the other puts one foot in front of the other, shoulder width apart, hands up in front of his face in fists, the first guy is doomed.
Joints go crunch at 40-ish. Enjoy.
the scary thing is,knowing,the amount of damage you can do to another person,that,picked the wrong person.
Proper job mate.
I was bullied a lot as a youngster, then later began boxing and karate
And something I learned is that someone coming close to you and staring you down is actually a rather simple situation to deal with (I don't mean it's easy in reality, because there are emotions involved, adrenaline dumps to deal with, etc.) but in general the situation isn't complicated.
My general rule for these situations in this:
1. If I can leave, I leave.
2. If they've invaded my personal space and are so close to me that I can hit them, I hit them.
3. If they're outside of my range but are still close to me, I throw up "the fence" (putting my arms out in front of me, telling them to stay back and that I don't want any trouble or problems), and if they come closer or touch my hands/arms at all, I hit them.
Problem is the average person hasn't thought and planned for such a situation.
I grew up in care and jail. Raise your voice and be aggressive in my face and you're going to sleep. Simple rules for fools 😂
Would you recommend a teenager learn boxing or martial arts? or both? my 15 year old nephew needs to learn some form of self defense.
@@snoo333 I've been bullied until I learned boxing. And I always practiced karate. So the answer for me is boxing. Even better: MMA. Which consoder kicks and ground fighting
The only thing wrong is letting them close enough to touch your hands before action, they have already broke distance and your action is to late, unless you get lucky and it is some mutt.
@snoo333
I was bullied since I was 6 years old. I was doing self-defense judo and flip anyone over my hip or shoulder, since I was around 11 years old. Then I became very efficient at wrestling around 15 years old. In 1974 I joined Beaver Boxing Club, Harry Villeneuve's Karate and Kickboxing Studio and the Ottawa Athletic Club. I was doing 2 to 4 hours exercise daily. I gained more and more confidence. To the point where several bullies avoided me. I also was learning Shaolin Kung Fu, Muay Tai Kickboxing, Jeet Kun Do, etc.
I am 65 years old and can still withstand full body punches and kicks. Unless I get struck in the liver. Most people can't take a hard liver strike which can be very dangerous.
I recommend him learning Judo, Jiu Jitsu, wrestling, weight training and doing skipping to develop a strong core and back. Also developing an internal force through Iron Wire Breathing and doing Zen Meditation to develop a one pointed concentration.
Muay Thai is a combat sport. Known as 'the art of eight limbs', it's a discipline that uses knees, elbows, fists, and shins, alongside clinching and sweeping techniques. Muay Thai has a broader range of movements and attacks than other close combat sports.
I developed the confidence and I also usually rely on my intuition and innate wisdom to avoid confrontations.
I did full contact boxing and Karate. There is an increase in chances of being injured. I broke my nose twice. If he trains smart and learns how to move well, fast, using feints, bobbing and weaving, using angles and incorporating many techniques and styles to avoid being hit in the head or weaker areas like the liver, solar plexus, kidneys, throat, eyes, groin, etc.
Great advice. You win every fight you avoid…..
I was bullied all through school. When i left i vowed never to be bullied again. I worked hard in a very physical job, built muscle and learnt that it is fear that makes you able to be brave. I worked with dangerous dogs and used kindness to calm them, but also developed a look that worked where kindness did not. In a situation knowing and being aware of what and who is around you is of paramount importance.
A good way to avoid trouble is don't do "stupid". Don't go to stupid places at stupid times with stupid people or do stupid stuff.
But the stupid tends to comes to you. To your countries, in your neighbourhoods, in your himes
Maybe at one time in specific places, but that's not possible today because of the widespread prevalence of the belligerence-as-virtue movement, a.k.a. ASPD.
@@devilsoffspring5519"Belligerence-as-virtue". Solid line, especially with the tie-in to Anti-Social psychopathology. Lasch's _Culture Of Narcissism_ has more than come to pass; it's at its fullest flower, and Caligula's circus is alive and well in the cognitive plague vectors that are social media. As the line goes, "Humans are chimps with car keys."
The tip to look at bad people is so stupid. It triggers many of them. Ignoring can be better
Yesss,,, you got THAT right about how one should "NOT do stupid",, or "go to Stupid places at Stupid times" or "do Stupid stuff" (if U care about staying OUT of danger). Example of personal lesson learned almost the hard way as all this happened (geeesh) almost 13 years ago. Anyway,, a Friday evening, 1st week of May,,, 2011. I was living and working just outside Barstow, Calif. For the hell of it, I decided to (blindly) drop into a bar,, I had never visited before and knew nothing about. Me being a naive youngster, I strolled on in (and ALONE). Almost immediately,, one of the local patrons (realizing I was a newcomer) took a bar seat right next to me and started more or less intimidating me. He was a husky,, stocky (biker-type) looking Hispanic guy. He asked me "what in the hell I was doing inside a bar like that,, not knowing anyone and all by myself". I sort of brushed him off with my response. At that moment,, he put his hand on my shoulder and said: "OK bud,, listen up. You know,, and I know,, that you do not belong in here. NO one in here knows you. Good question as to why you would drop in here anyway. I will give you about 20 minutes to finish your beer,, then you need to get your butt OUT of here. You really SHOULD do that if you don't want to end up getting hurt by someone in here." That said,, I TOOK his advice, finished my beer,, i paid the bartender,, then I hightailed it OUT of there.
So many People with fragile egos in the modern world. This is why we have to watch videos like this to ensure that we learn to protect ourselves when we are in trouble.
The last line was really on point
This is valuable and very true. Spent most of my 20s doing mma. Never got in to a street fight. No harm in walking away.... for me personally i have nothing to prove. I have found most people who start street fights have no clue on how to fight anyway
Damn truth
You don't need to know how to fight or be fighting a trained MMA fighter for your ticket to be punched. More likely to die from TBI from an Untrained fighter as opposed to a trained one. So, your last point is of zero comfort or relevance to people who may find themselves in confrontation. All it takes is your brain to jiggle in the right way.
True. However, I'd like to poin out "most".
Some, maybe a few combine martial arts with a street practice. In my 20s I met a leader of the gang who appeared to be a karete kid too. We were 4 guys and one lady, they were 4 guys. The first in our comaoney who was ignoring him got an immediate punch in the face - the easiest victim. A friend of mine threw some kicks on him but it was a draw. A gas pistol did not work. We were being thrown with stones, they luckily landed smashing and scratching cars. They were about 7. At the end we ran into a casino and called a taxi, but in that hood more than 10, 40 year olds showed up. Luckilly, we escaped. But they I sensed that they had no fear and it could have ended with somebody walking up in the intense care if at all.
To sum it up, it is unethical to coach somebody in martial arts who can't control his impulses, but the master cannot always be aware how dark the soul is.
I feel fairly confident I could beat you. Just saying...
@@kevinchamberlain7928 cool.
As a taxi driver back in my twenties (nights) this sort of thing was VERY important. This guy knows what he’s talking about. The real deal.
Yep. Me too. I would look right in the mirror and say "So you're talking about jumping me?" Pull over and tell them to get out. Worked 100%.
@@josephkelly6681 and leave the meter runnin while they decided… good times
Not a taxi driver, but even as a Canadian I wouldn't want to do that unless I was carrying a pistol even if I worked day shifts! People are porked! Seriously, being a cab driver has to be one of the more dangerous jobs, especially when your fare is high on heavy drugs like meth and somehow magically forgot to bring any money.
Really well articulated breakdown as always. 😊
I'm currently a security guard, overnight in DTLA, near skid row. I have to say this is all perfectly perfectly precisely spot on. Your verbal skills are tremendously useful for de-escalation as well. Be cool, speak casually.
You must deal with a lot , I live in LA near downtown
An Irish man in LA. Nothing you can’t handle. 🇮🇪
@@MaloneysDigest Haha, nice! As my late brother would say, "As an Irishman I'm allergic to whiskey; it makes my knuckles bloody." 😏 That said, let me tell you an Irish joke:
There's this Irishman, and he walks past a bar -- hey, it can happen! 😜
I hope you keep a rocket in your pocket just in case. Some maggots won't respond to an attempt at deescalation. That is when you need your pocket rocket.
@@captaincapitalism264 hahaha. Was that joke about me? 🥴
As an Iraq/Afghanistan war vet I can still when needed affect the 1000-yard stare, this blank, heartless look has helped me avoid having to cause harm to people who have singled me out for bad intent. Another key to avoiding violence is maintaining calm, a bully is looking for fear and panic. If he does not elicit the response he seeks he will more likely walk away rather than risk attacking somebody with superior skill and/or experience. This may not work if the person is crazy, blackout drunk, or on drugs as they are not using their brain anyway. Then your best bet becomes the doctrine of rapid dominance.
Overwhelming force to the weakest point of the body you can reach. The eyes, the throat, the testicles, and the knee are always the best points of attack to rapidly eliminate a threat. It is not a gun that kills, it is a hard heart that kills. The same goes for the use of violence in personal defense.
If a person is willing to use overwhelming force to defend themselves, that person becomes far less likely to become a target.
No you act strange around people ,almost God like ego because you served in military. Sense of dominance. I think you war vets are nutters, and don't like that kinda people anywhere near me.
Thank you for your service.
Have used some of what you outlined before. Very effective.
You were a motor pool mechanic weren't you 😂
Hey Daniel, just because you were duped into fighting in 2 bogus wars, doesn't me you can whoop anybody who talks smack to you. The ego you military vets have is ridiculous. Get over yourself and stop acting strange towards people. I'm the guy that could take your ego down a peg or 3. And I'm not stupid enough to join the military. I'm a militia man, not a "get some" war mongrel like you.
In two instances, situational awareness has saved my life and in others its probably saved me from injury. That said, it is very important to learn body language, because attackers will always telegraph their disposition and intentions. It can be a fine line, but keep your distance and use what's in your environment as an advantage to block an attack or a way to escape. When all else fails, though, and you know your going into a fight be the first to strike with no holds barred.
This Dr Phillips guy knows his shit. He also practices it. Good channel.
I'm 70yo now, and have been a martial artist ever since I was 11yo (Judo, Okinawa-te, Shudokan, and dabbled a little in Aikido), and I was a close-combat instructor in the Marine Corps. I went on to teach self-defense classes after the military for some years. One thing I now grudgingly have to admit to, since I'm getting old, is that even though I'm still confident in my abilities to defend myself, I'm also aware of the fact that I do not have the stamina, strength, or resilience to absorb blows that I once had; so, I now carry a .45 and a tactical knife . . . and I am just as skilled with those tools as I once was with my hands and feet. However, I have come to the resolution that if I'm attacked, and I can't utilize my weapons - for whatever reason - and I just have to defend myself, I'm going for their eyes first . . . I will blind them as aggressively as possible. I refuse to be a willing victim.
On a side note, relative to the staring issue, is that I learned many decades ago from my Sempai that you never, ever fixate your gaze on your opponent's face or stare into their eyes - because their face will be used as an intimidation tool, and you will get sucked into a sort of tunnel-vision effect and lose your peripheral vision to the point that you will be forced to react to their sudden sucker punch, rather than see it being initiated beforehand. The technique I always taught my students was to place your relaxed gaze upon their chest. This benefits you in several ways. First, you will be able to see their hands and feet move ever so slightly before they launch their attack, thus giving you an advantage in reaction time - and with practice, be able to predict and time the attack. Second, by not playing into their staring contest, you eliminate the intimidation effect they are hoping to instill. With practice, you will become more confident in your ability to counterattack with precision and focus. Cheers all, and be safe out there.
A .45 cures many ills.
Mr Myogi say "always watch eye Daniel-son", you say watch chest. The narrator says watch eyebrows. I'll go with chest and your reasons to do so.
Your about as real as one can get! I’ll be you were a great instructor over the years!
@@billr2375It depends. If the fight is inminent, chest or chin could be a good option "cause a better peripherial view, but you have to stand eye contact first to show him, you are ready to fight.
On the other hand, that"a not enough if you don't get a good situational awareness. You nees to know if he is on his own or more people will get involved. You have to be aware of obstacles, your way out, if he is armed or if fight can be avoided. If you are not trained to fight, It is better to avoid It.
All good points. My wish would be to fix his gaze with one eye and the other eye swivelling up, down and around him. Now THAT would freak him out and make him back off!
When I was 13, my dad told me, “if someone stares at you or mean mugs you, look away. What? You think lasers are going to shoot out of your eyes if you stare back? It’s not about what people say or how hard they stare at you, it’s about what people do that matters. Then, you fight.” My father taught me how to box, him being a boxer himself. 15 years later, I’m now training my son.
This is my take on it too.
solid advice
I always look away from a stare, but it's like I commented somewhere else, I want to be ready for the violence I know is coming. If you're in a staring contest with someone you can get tunnel vision and not see a punch or kick coming. Best to look down slightly, at the chin or chest, and open up your awareness, and get yourself balanced and ready to fight.
Yea , people looking for a fight, avoid if possible works
@@FH-cn3mg agreed, as well as when you’re in your stance.
Great video. You, and your channel, are awesome!
you have no idea how effective this is, i witness crazy things all the time I live in nyc & its great to always be aware of your surroundings, to be able to read the room
I was down at a local pub the day after a local footy team (Aussie rules football AFL) played an interstate team. There was a group of out of towners drinking near me and my missus. One was a Maori fella with the face tats and looked mean enough. He's staring over at me for a while I was wearing sunnies and looked slightly away from his stare but was watching him. I told the missus that bother may be on the way then he got up and walked over, I said to my missus, here we go, he comes up introduced himself and just wanted to talk about and meet my 5 kg Jack Russell bitch i have sitting on my lap. He's got 3 of them and said mine was a beauty and he can't wait to get back home to his dogs. Ya gotta be careful and not assume, if it was some other dude I probably wouldn't have worried about the situation
This sounds so Australian.. I met an Aussie in Munich at Octoberfest and he was travelling alone...He sat with us at our table in the Hofbrau Haus and he was the funniest most coolest guy...I hope he is well wherever he may be
He doesn't need to stare anyway. Just wave smile and walk over to you.
we are all the same Ive lived and experienced this my whole life what you described is my full time reality ... i limit contact the older i get thats been the only remedy of sorts or a good bottle of jacks lmao ...perth side out
Best comment! 😊
I totally read this with an Australian accent.
It all boils down to situational awareness. It's key to managing any situation.
You can't be always aware of situation you are in. Most of the time I am just in my head thinking my own thoughts don't give 2 shits about what is around me.
@@JustChill-zd4ibLike with anything, you can train it. Practice it until it becomes instinct.
👏 excellent advice.
(I provided security in a variety of environments for quite a few years.)
Thank you for this great video!
You are a good man.
Great advice. In these situations I prefer to calmly ask 2 questions while staring back. 1) "Are you OK bro?" 2) "What exactly are we doing here"? This has saved me multiple times from sucker punches, escalation and helped the other person understand that I was in control. It rarely came to fists after that (only with drunk people).
Number one is my absolute favorite and seriously has worked everytime, just like you said. By doing this you shift the ENTIRE energy from being on you to being on them. Now everyone's staring at your aggressor like 'yeah, what is wrong with this guy?' . Suddenly it feels like 20 against 1 to them. You achieve dominance quick like this, because it implies that they have something wrong with them, and that can be embarrassing.
@@itsrtvbaby for me, the second question enforces the lunacy of the situation based upon the first question. Fighting today is not like 20 years ago- the variables have changed a lot.
Yes, exactly this. Has helped many times for me, it puts you in control.
Normally i stare back with concealed carry
Conceal carry activated
@@NaitsirhcCheck me too partner!!
Same
awesome i lived in a gun rights shit hole or id join ya
Yeah but that's just escalating & when shtf you mite find yourself LEGALLY fukd
Someone whom I know that worked in special forces told me - just walk away but acknowledge their presence. 100% of the time if it not worth it. This video confirms his advice to me! Thanks for sharing!
It's been my belief for decades that if you've got the opportunity to back out, then take it. Just never turn a back to them and if you can't back out, then fight dirty, and I mean dirty. That's the time when a sucker punch to the balls is fair game, same for any bit of sand you can get into their eyes. If you've got a flashlight, and it's dark, definitely use it to blind them as well. Because believe me that the other side cannot be trusted to not cheat as bad, or worse.
This is also why I tend to be fake drunk at bars on the rare case where I go. The moment I straighten myself up and it becomes clear that only one of us is drunk, it tends to open up opportunites for just letting it go.
If any of that seems unreasonable in light of the current situation, then you don't really have to fight it's a choice that you're making. One of the issues that comes from these situations is that the courts are never actually there and evaluating things based on the information that's available to the people at the time.
Ofc its not worth it. its not like they are there to give you something or help you. Makes complete sense.
@@SmallSpoonBrigade my philosophy exactly. I'll do whatever I can (within reason) to avoid a physical confrontation just for the reason you stated, as in I have no idea what they will do or how far they will go and there are zero rules, regulations, or referees to stop them....with that in mind if they are utterly determined to incite violence then i can, with a clear conscience, go no holds barred and I will use any tactic within my means to disable them.
To me, there is no such thing as fighting dirty when you have no knowledge of the other person and literally anything, even by accident, can end your life. It's all or nothing when "backed into a corner".
Great advice actually. For those who watched the whole video and actually listened. Stay present and aware, deescalate, strategically retreat.
No one wins if you end up fighting.
I’m an octogenarian. Bullied in grades 1-9. Learned judo by myself from a ten cent booklet poorly written and illustrated. I tried it out on my friend RJ with great success to his and my amazement. Began learning Karate as a teenager before anyone even knew it existed. Got so good at it that I became captain of the university Karate club. Had the first time real life use when a 22yo was staring me down in the cafeteria. I instinctively tried your suggestions. As I rose from the lunch table he tried to bash my skull in with a steel cafeteria tray swung edgewise! I blocked and punched with my right hand into his nose so hard with full body weight going into punch that his nose started spurting blood like a butchered pigs jugular vein. Luckily my chemistry professor and his mates saw the incident. I never saw the kid again. Prof said he was taken to ER and expelled. I went on for many more years in universities to become a scientist. At 49yo, around Christmas time, I noticed a van parked unusually close to the driver side of my car in a large empty parking lot ( situational awareness). It was after 10pm. I wondered if I should approach my car. After thinking and observing I decided I had to get home, so I went for it… as I squeezed to my door from the rear of my car, a short thirtish year old man stepped in front of me at the front of my car and gave me the “I’m going to kill u look”. I’m 6’3” 240 lbs (30lbsfat). At that time a monster of a man at least 6’8” tall and 350lbs stepped behind me trapping me between them and the vehicles…. A VERY TENSE FEW SECONDS OCCURRED when big said to little “Leroy, come around here!” Motioning to the rear of the van, to which Leroy moved so quickly to the rear of the van I was astonished. Big then clops Leroy on the side of the head he almost fell to the ground. Big then said “You dumb m**ther F@#ker, I told you NOT to pick someone that big before! He could have hurt me!” Now in my eighties I only get good looking women giving me the stare, wondering if I can still do it. Sigh! Age has its advantages I guess.
What's great about the internet is that you can practice your fiction writing for many to see. Good luck bro, I am sure a few suckas believed every word 😂
@@maximusextreme3725 How dare you?
@@ginahill503 Yes, how dare I tell the truth 😂
Nice story
So much violence for what? I don't understand... It never achieves any result why do some people do it?
I got bullied ruthlessly when I was a kid. I had to fight. Eventually started winning. I hate fighting, I just happen to be really damn good at it. I have zero tolerance for bullies. Of course my head is a lot cooler nowadays. Cheers
You know I believe that we wouldn't see nearly as much bullying if anti-bullying classroom material were emphasized as much as useless bullshit like the rote memorization of trigonometric formulas or the intricacies of the Sumarian culture. If anti-bullying was actually taught as a class, society wouldn't be as fucked up as it is. what do you think?
@@kubikiribasara3499 Nah, it would still be the same! Narcissists, psychopaths, and sociopaths are real, no amount of "training" is going to stop who they are on the inside! Train to protect yourself and your family, because one day you will have to!!
i farted the other day, and it was infinitely more meaningful than a bunch of insecure "men" exchanging stories about what "works" on other "men" what is everyone, FIVE YEARS OLD???!?!?!?!?!?!
Most dudes who fight a lot are terrible athletes.
I was bullied to, I beat the hell out of them and their friends to, they left me alone!
Good advice. From lots of street fighting experience, I can promise you that there are people out there that are literally looking for any excuse to fight. That's their goal for the night - to beat somebody up. Doesn't matter who it is. Naive people think just because they aren't doing anything aggressive, they are safe in a crowd or out on the street. So when somebody gets in your face for no reason, don't think you can argue your way out of it. There is no reason and you've just been "chosen". So stand tall, say things like "hey man, I don't have any beef with you. I'm cool. No problem. Just want to get home and get out of your way." And then also do everything this guy ^^^ said. Maintain eye contact so they can't surprise you, slowly walk away, and keep an eye on him and especially all his buddies. They'll hit you too. If they are mean enough to start a fight in the street with a rando, they are dangerous as heck, have tons of fighting experience (they do this nightly or weekly) and you will. not. win. You'll wake up in the hospital if you're lucky.
please tell us more about your lots of street fighting experience
@@jasonprostathamhe’s saying that they do
Spot on. I have found that about 3 seconds eye contact is the right amount: long enough to acknowledge their presence and "assess" them as a potential threat. Then I look away, always sideways. Never down; that is a sign of submission/weakness.
Ignoring them (but still being aware of their movements) at this point sends the message that you have assessed their potential and deemed it not worthy of concern - this gives them pause for thought.
Only once has someone taken it a step further after such an exchange; I'd just finished strapping my kid in the car.
He approached and said "alright mate, there a problem?".
I stared at him and with a calm, even but direct tone told him that there wasn't - but given that I had my child in my care, there would be a very severe problem if he decided there was. He persisted evidently so as not to lose face so I made it quite clear: my child is in the car, back off or you'll discover the savagery a father protecting his child is capable of. At that point it became clear I had to assert full dominance - it worked. Still got mouthy but he did back up several steps, at which point I got on with my business. Fact is, most gobshites nowadays dont have the stomach for a fight with someone who is clearly not intimidated - unless they are packing a blade etc. Which of course, in the above situation, makes it all the more important to gain control of the situation. A small Co-op carpark, cameras everywhere, people moving in and out on a bright sunny day, thw likelihood of him drawing a hidden weapon is slim. Had it been dark, isolated etc, my approach would have been quite different.
Of course, it does also help knowing you are physically equipped to deal with the situation should it get that far.
Very good advice.
I've been a student of mixed martial arts for probably 25 years or so so I'm pretty confident in my skill set to protect myself and my family. I think all you need is a strong mind. And be able to actually speak to people in a de-escalating manner. But people do have a tendency to stare. I just smile back when they stare me a little too long and then they smile. A little smile goes a long way lol.
Good advice.
Yeah I'm sure that classroom experience and lack of real world experience makes your opinion worthwhile
I had the same experience too. I was taking photos in a street in a foreign country. There was a guy across the road staring sharply at me. I just smiled and lifted my head as if to say 'hi', his sharp look instantly eased, he smiled back and lifted up the cup of tea he was drinking too great me back.
@@didamnesia3575wow, you must have a lot in order to speak up. Where can I buy your course?
This is the most important thing you said: "be able to actually speak to people in a de-escalating manner."
I'm not into MMA, but I am naturally strong. It's genetics. I'm not tall, but I am heavy. In high school, I could climb the rope hand over hand without using my feet. I'm also a nerd. There were bullies at my high school, but they left me alone.
There was one incident when a girl in the disabled class asked me to the Sadie Hawkins dance on our walk to P.E. A fat guy saw it and ran ahead to tell everyone so they could laugh at me. He wasn't a bad person, he was just trying to fit in. Anyway, when I got to class all of the boys were laughing at me. I went straight to the fat guy who started it and grabbed his throat and pushed him. He got amped up and said I had angered him and he wouldn't stop.
The boys wanted a fight, but they didn't get it. I said, "She's a human being. I'm sorry that you don't understand that."
He immediately melted. All he could say was, "I'm sorry." I was angry, but I didn't want to fight. I wanted him to understand that he was wrong and I wanted him to feel it.
Situational awareness, as mentioned in the video, is crucial. I always scan my environment and look for any potential threats and watch them. If appropriate, I'll acknowledge them with a smile and downward nod. And by all means don't be afraid to retreat from the situation if you feel it's getting too hot. For me, if the other guy tries to escalate into a staring war then that's my cue to look for ways to retreat. As I got older I have learned that there is no shame in retreat if it means being spared from getting into an ego fight.
Right on the money!!! "Ego" is the nemesis of all humanity!!!
Just good advice for those situations that are best avoided in the first place.
Same bro
Truly excellent counsel. Listen to what this man has to say - and heed his advice.
Great Advice. Learn to fight so you don't have to fight.
Excellent advise esp in today's crazy world.
I have came across guys that are confident with there mates but not confident alone, to a degree there just posers but still make space and look civil but confident, never portray a victim.
When I left the military situational awareness was automatic my head was always on a swivel accessing threat level and exits . Now as an old man I have changed like I thought I would but the exit is my preferred option, never argue about anything with strangers.
It's taken me a while to realize that this is the best strategy, escape and evasion are legitimate military tactics. It's considerate too- they don't want to go to the hospital, I don't want to go to court or prison. Both of us win.
@@Chunda8 True there is nothing to prove to anyone, besides I want to be able to watch my Grandchildren grow up.
I will always be infantry!! Approach me suddenly in an aggressive manner, and you will get something that you will never forget 😮
Good advice! A couple of decades ago I rode a bus in SF with my wife and baby son, and an angry guy complained to me that I should speak English (though my wife and I speak English very well, we like to converse in Japanese and Dutch, our respective native languages). We got off at the next stop. It is just not worth the risk of injury or worse to my family.
@@SurfinScientist in El Paso, Texas, some people will demand we (non-Spanish speakers) speak Spanish. And when I try, they don't hesitate to laugh in my face.
Go figure.
I think it’s hard to have rules that are set in stone for these situations as so many things vary. Exhibiting calmness when someone tries to intimidate you is invaluable and this can be learned through practicing a practical martial art (it’s nice to realise that most guys who don’t train can’t fight for shit). I think a lot of the skills and judgment calls are learnt as we grow up, if you happen to grow up in a rough area with a regular threat of violence then you tend to get pretty good at reading situations. Twice in my adult life I have opted to NOT make eye contact with an aggressor and both times the result has been good. Both situation’s were in the street in the middle of the day and although very much aware of their intense stare and posturing I felt the best option was to remain aware of them but not make eye contact. Because they were walking I think they were looking for a victim and eye contact would be the green light for them. Everything else in the video about eye contact I agree with but I do think there are exceptions.
In those cases you were probably able to act as if you truly had not seen them. Perhaps saying something to somebody else in an either jovial or very serious manner. The point is not to make it obvious you’re ignoring them by walking faster or any other sign that signals fear, but appear naturally relaxed and you ‘re just going about your life.
Wrong! Take it from a guy that has been to prison for fights. Walk the f away. The loser goes to the hospital. The winner goes to prison and pays tens of thousands in medical bills. Freedom is better than validation and ego.
Agreed.
I woke up a shot caller in state. He came at me all hard ass. I had to let go of inhibition and became excitedly eager looking him up and down as I bounced a little light on my feet, with an "I'm going to rape you" look of joy, and said , "this is goona be fun" , "are you sure?", I didn't mean to wake you bro." , "But hell yeah!" in a gitty tone.. He retreated saying, "Just keep it down!" and went back to his bunk. Later he complained to the C.O. and I got moved to a bunk away from his. He was smart and walked away.... So I agree with you Sir.
I agree with that. I would rather be perceived as weak witch I know I'm not than end up dead.
Well put bro , there are a few things that will force you to stand your ground very few . Leave !!
Yep….
I usually win the stare down. I learned a trick a long time ago and I'll share it with you. If someone is trying to intimidate you and getting violent smile at them like they just made you the happiest person in the world for giving you a target to unload your decades of rage on. Usually at that point I'm not talking to the person trying to intimidate me anymore. I'm thinking about where I'm going to hit them and what moves I'm going to try. Something about KNOWING that I'm already thinking about the fight and not the intimidation at all and that I look like I'm gonna enjoy it. My antagonist has always sensed it. It has always made people walk away. Often looking pale and like they have seen death himself.
That smile works. Always make sure he knows you're ready to lunge and that you yourself are ready to do it. That and you keep your eye contact to them at all times. And yes, you have to committ to it to the point that you get at opportunity to pop up behind them the second the turn their back. I don't know why people hate it when I do that.
Had an encounter with the hardest guy in the area “ He eventually told me he was gonna kill me” my reply “ I,m gonna kill you back” he burst out laughing 😂😂
Just make sure you got proper training before you smile... especially Judo, wrestling, and Muay Thai are deadly self-defense. other than that just walk away...
@@jpnphom5470 Kick boxing and shito ryu Karate. I picked up some grappling from some friends I train with. :)
Good that beats 90% of the people...
You learn to fight so you don't have to fight. ❤
This is very good advice thanks
You don't mess with people you don't know unless you're prepared for a trip six feet under. Words of wisdom boys.
Right, problem is reality can make things happen and the last thing I give a F about is if I know them.
I dont mess with people i dont know. But i have had them mess with me. And almost every time i e done far more damage than i took. The ones i didnt come out on top were ones where i was outnumbered and/or suckerpunched.
Especially in today's world.
@@jonc3214 No, YOU don't mess with the mentally ill, and its good when you know your limitations, and even better when you follow them. Most people wont mess with them either, unless they have too, or worse didn't have a choice, and when you do, the last thing you do is worry about knowing them, or some other doubt bs, you focus on getting it done. I am not speaking from bs, I dealt with it inside my family, and later in life on the job working doors. So it absolutely does matter how tough you are, and or, more aptly put, how experienced you are, and that will clearly vary among individuals, even the tweakin batshit crazy people you don't know.
I'm 65 years old. Went to the grocery store and walked by a guy who "mad dogged" me. I noticed coming in the the store he also "mad dogged" a car that didn't stop to let him pass. He was waiting to check out and I was still shopping and I just walked by him. The guy looked like a bully. I looked at him long enough to let him know if he did start a fight, he would be in one. One of the fears I have of growing old is not being able to defend myself.
Me too. I'm 71.
There's always, pepper spray, stun guns, even a device, called a pulse wave myotron that will scramble the electrical circuits in a person's body and cause them to go down. Having a guard dog, that will attack on command is another good one. I once ran into a woman, at night, in a wilderness preserve by herself as I was going for a walk through this place. As a man, I would never attack a woman, but some predators will in her situation. As soon as I approached her, she smiled and I smiled back at her and kept walking, but as soon as I cross this bridge, over a creek, I heard this thrashing sound of water sloshing around, and as I kept walking towards my home, this large Rottweiler comes running at me, ready to attack, but the woman I walked by earlier, commanded the dog to stop. She had it trained to a T.
A 65yr old using the Vocab of Mad Dog 😂😂😂
Stare at their eyebrows has got to be one of the most intriguing suggestions I've gained from any youtube vid on any subject - whether its baking bread or how to relieve an L5-S1 herniated disk or what render to use . I tend to look at other peoples' mouths when just in an ordinary conversation almost as much as I also tend to look at them directly ,, that is to say, into their eyes. That is because I am genuinely interested ( or trying to be ) in what they have to say and it helps me to ascertain the words they are using ( I'm lip-reading ; not sure if thats because I am a bit deaf or just don't attend to speech on its own very well ) . If I were to look at someone's eyebrows instead then I would necessarily , to some extent, be disengaging from their speech, what they are saying. If you are in a confrontation with an aggressor and you have decided talking too them will not help you, you very much need to keep your gaze in their direction whilst disengaging ( i.e. neither reacting to their attempt to force nor being prompted by them ) . Also , just going from a situation where you are talking to someone to where you are looking at someone whilst staying quiet is often disconcerting for the aggressor - although this works best at distance. Either way it gives you maybe 2 seconds to not be directed by the other person, gather your thoughts and then fcuk them up .
This worked. I can't thank you enough for this advice to save me from a sticky situation I was in.
My wife and I are back on better terms.
For years, I avoid eye contact as if I am in my own world. Whenever its necessary, I will give a potential aggressor that psychotic look. The deranged look normally deescalates the potential confrontation. Sometimes the threat is much bigger and stronger. It has worked for me because that crazy look makes those bad guys for some reason think twice. I have been using that look for 68 years and count my blessings.
what's the deranged look, the cross eyed look?
Hard for me,when they're all built like Rambo.😢
@@metsrus no, not cross eyed. the psychotic look says
"I will kill you mother fuc$#r if you touch me and you put your hands on me your life will never be the same." That look has saved me a countless number of times.
@@Suve35967 it is a mind set and a feeling that you are deranged. deranged to the point that you will grab the closest thing around you and practically destroy the aggressor. as I said, it has worked for me on a number of tense situations.
It’s called the thousand yard stare!👍
Hear, hear. Solid video. I thankfully deescalated several potentially bad situations back in my 20s-30s by controlling both myself and the situation as best able (considering the individual circumstances). The correct amount/type of eye contact, body language, and humor (aka creation of empathy by humanization) can work wonders in most situations. As silly as it sounds, some of the strongest advice about conflict I've learned is from the movie Roadhouse (1989); be nice. Be nice until it's time not to be nice. The key is learning to recognize (and hopefully avoid) that moment.
Roadhouse is a fantastic movie. I miss good movies. All garbage now
I was a bouncer in a jiggle bar and at a big nightclub/bar back in my 20's. I avoided more conflict with the being "nice" and using humor. In my 8 or so years of working those gigs, I only had to hit about 3 people.
Good advise
What I just realized, is that in many of the situations, in which I ended up fighting, I was just staring at the person for some time. Maybe it could have not escalated the situation, if I didn't stare, but at least I am still alive and intact, so it worked fine. And on the other hand, I had many situations, in which people, from whom I've sensed closet aggression, stepped away, because I was staring at them. Usually, my go-to in the stare-kind-of-situations is look in the eyes for 5-8 seconds, slowly look down at the shoes and go back. Sometimes I move on, if I decide, that this person likely doesn't pose a threat, but sometimes I come back at the head level with my eyes and continue the eye contact, waiting for his next move. This way I, intentionally or not, show a person, that I acknowledge him and especially him in the environment and actually evaluate the situation via understanding, what he is, where his arms are, if he is carrying something, or his arms are in his pockets, checking the stance, if he is in the position to sprint to me, or he has his legs behind one another and so on. Never ever had I been sucker punched or experienced a surprise attack. Even though my knuckles are scarred because of the amount of fights, my nose has a scar, my arm is cut, all that happened, happed to me in a non-surprising manner. Russia is sometimes a cruel place, so some awareness can go a long way.
Russia is tough environment.
It will work on the mutts sure.
Your overt situational awareness likely invited the conflict that you may (or may not ) be seeking to avoid, yet was interpreted as an invitation or a threat by the other person. Gunslingers attract gunslingers. There's always someone looking for a fight, for many-a reason. Others understand it, and identified you as a willing 'Saturday-night-sport' combatant or a genuine threat. Go to a monkey park and see what happens when you stare-down a male primate. No...don't do that.
Situational awareness combined with quick instinct will keep you alive for another day. I've avoided so many bad situations by making that eye contact and a quick head nod down and up and just continuing on my way. My dad use to tell me "if you get in a ifght, you're going to get hit." and "there's no such thing as a fair fight.". I particularly like not getting hit or stabbed and so in the few seconds you have to react to a stare, go with your instinct but always be prepared for anything. The reflections in the environment is a priceless tool. 36t0 degree view with a few glances while pumping gas, ATM, etc.
I haven't been a fight in many years at this point. Part of it is because I'm about the size of Mike Tyson and I can put most adults down with one blow. But, a large part of it is avoiding being places where I can't just back down or avoid the problem to begin with.
Your Dad would probably like my Dad. He spent several years in the USMC and advised me to leave a brick at the backdoor of a bar in case I needed it and then be the last one out the door if there was going to be a fight. It took me a while to understand that he was saying to be prepared ahead of time if I was going to have a barroom scrap and that the other side couldn't be counted on to fight fair, I just needed to be prepared to end it before they could.
Personally, I haven't needed to use the advice, but I do make every effort to have the situational awareness to avoid being in that spot, but if I do get in a scrape, I will fight as dirty as I can because if it's not important enough to cheat at, then it's not a fight that I have to be in/win in the first place.
spot on, eye contact smile and nod down, then move on with awareness.
This went on here where I live for several months and everytime I got eye on me staring me down I let them know I see it..
One thing after being caught unintentionally in a staring match, is not to get out of it by looking down (which is submissive but also acknowledges that you recognise the conflict) but by looking up and to the side with a bored/blank look on your face. And then just act normal like the staring never happened.
Only weak people think like this. Say Hi or just go about your day. I don't care if you stare at me or not. Start walking towards me and staring then that's a different matter. It's called situational awareness.
Most people aren't comfortable with violence. It's moulded me so I don't think like the average folk.
I break off the 'stare' with a big GRIN! Not a 'smart-ass", but a nice, respectful smile! Works for me!
I look at them for a second, and if a down-nod, or an up-nod don't work, or a raised eyebrow, I act like something more interesting gets my attention and make an interested face at whatever it is. usually they want to look too. gold-fish attention spans.
@@Probabilityislife I don’t think so,smart people think like that..if you can avoid a fight you should,by looking away bored,uninterested and unconcerned will put some doubt in the aggressors mind and that can usually do the trick of moving him on to a weaker target as most of these guys want an easy target…generally I think they know when someone can or cannot handle themselves..what do you think?
Yes Garry l think they can sense it like animals
Great video. I’ve never tried to break down why this stuff you talked about works, it does, and I’m happy to have this to send to people who have trouble dealing with aggression. Nearly everyone I on ow of who has been assaulted and/or battered made the mistake of turning their back to an aggressor. Not wise.
Also snapshot spot on….
One thing I would add when using situational awareness when dealing with someone that means to sucker punch you is to make sure use all your senses. Use your hearing to listen for quick movements, especially if they're moving quickly up behind you to throw the punch. Same with feeling the ground. Running comes with heavier footfalls. Using vision is absolutely important and I agree completely with this video so train with an wholistic approach which will make your proprioception even greater.
He literally said this...
Holistic*
@@ohokcool nah wholelistic works because he's being holistic and taking the "whole" situation into account!
Instant subscribe. I went down the UA-cam rabbit hole and ended up with a bunch of recommendations on self defense. I can say, that the best fight you'll ever have is the one you were able to avoid because you read all the signs for posturing and you took active steps to "inform" how things were going to go.
Also, in my honest opinion...anxiety and hypervigiliance, which are typically both a nuisance to have, actually serve as a helper and not a hinderer of survival.
You are right, anxiety motivates actions for self defense, and hypervigilance can be a habit that runs in the background when in sketchy circumstances so one can focus on other things but still have a part of you looking out for shit:)
Thank you for what are you doing! Very helpful channel and information in it!
I'm 45 now, and I feel really grateful that from a very young age I've had no problem making eye contact with people, and even smiling at women in the street I don't even know, and it's because I've played in bands in clubs and even done busking on my own in the street, and so I've always felt that having strong eye contact with my audience is imperative to get a real connection. It's funny, how sometimes it takes aging to really look back on something you started very young to fully appreciate it! ;)
Years ago I loved to pick on bullies, loved it. Then I realized I was being a bully to them. Peace is a better option. But knowing how to fight is essential.
There is a technique for breaking a stare that I learned from a primatologist. I call it the slow blink break. As long as you have a safe cushion of distance, break the stare by slowly, deliberately blinking once, and breaking the stare as your eyes close. Between many primates, this expresses confidence and a slight air of dismissal. I've made it work many, many, times to defuse the situation.
I use the same technique to make cats come over to me.
What I do that works every single time9so far), is when I catch someone staring, I look directly at them and meet their gaze for 1-2 seconds and look away as if it doesn't bother me(this is almost like saying here, you can win your little staring contest I don't care), if I can tell they are still be looking at me, and then I look back at them quickly as if to communicate "are you seriously staring at me?" they look away right away almost in shame everytime so far. Not only do you diffuse the sitaution, but you actually win the staring contest (that they started).
@@emmaearnshaw3282 That's cat language for 'I trust you'.
Simply explained in elegant British manner. 👏
These videos are very valuable. I deal with this all day every day wherever I go.
As a child, my grandfather of 87 was followed home by a man in a car while I was with him. The man followed us 45 miles, pulled down our driveway, and approached his car. I was hound and learned that day the importance of always having your friends Smith and Wesson with you.
Yeah and then they shoot you because if you don't know CQB and medical treatments you die in an engagement. I don't pull a gun unless it's getting used.
Was this before cell phones and police stations existed? Why would anyone drive to their home when being followed for almost an hour?
Go to the police station, to a bank, roll down your window, ask someone to call the police. Then drive in circles until they show up.
@Rant Therapist It's a BS story LOL.
@JohnnyLightningV10 no its real life story I am the neighbor of the original post it was dark stormy night two cars pulled in one left in a ambulance Smith and Western was ready for battle 😢😮
@@Mike-gc2hm Yes, I am the third neighbor down the street. I looked out the window, swallowed an Ibuprofen for my elbow pain, and went back to sleep. It was a scary night.
Good video, as always. I work at a Sheriff's Office County Jail and a CPI instructor. What I do when someone is staring at me is mostly the head nod downward, and that tends to work. When it's a very serious stare, I stare back then stare at their feet for 5-10 seconds, and that throws them off completely!
Great stuff! I also have experienced that if you don't look back and make some acknowledgement, they can also take it as being disrespected, which can also set things off.
The problem usually is that men don’t just stare, they impose their will upon you, I.E. force you to move with their body wether they are real or trying to act tough! I don’t accept that and I put my arm up or both arms to go ahead and force them to either take a step back or put up or shut up, because at any moment they can attack and once your on the ground it can be very hard to get back up! I’m no Superman, but after being jumped twice in my life, I vowed their would never be a third!
Staring at the feet. That's a good one. It makes them think wtf is he looking at?
Interesting. It gives the impression that you are formulating a plan forcing him to momentarily change his thinking and plan. If he tries something while you are looking down, he will telegraph his intentions by shifting his hips first and then his feet. Keep his hands in your field of view for possible weapons.
Staring is weird. They must be a bit gay or something. I would feel like one if I stared at dudes like that.
I'm not a big guy, but it's many years since someone has tried to bully me. Whether I'm alone or with a group, I acknowledge other people with a friendly look, a slight smile with no teeth showing, and a small nod to signal respect. I also walk with intent, so anyone trying to follow would be obvious. My exit strategy if needed is to get to a friendly environment with other people - or leg it and hope I can outrun them.
Thanks for keeping it 100.
My uncle always told me that if you're being troubled by a group, size up who the leader is. If something starts, take him out first. The rest will go scrambling.
On the rare occasion that I've had this happen to me, his advice worked.
if you take out the small one at once, the other gets a message too
I was at a concert with a couple of friends several years ago. Some guy about a foot shorter than me walked up and threw his cup down and was like 'Hey can you pick that up?' I looked him right in the eye and said 'Point out the moron who sent you over here to get your skull bashed in?' That dude's face went from teen brat to 'Oh Sh-t!' I think the fact that I knew WHY he was there doing that scared him. He had that look like 'Dude's reading my mind and it freaks me out.' He looked back at a group that was about 15 or 20 back behind us and then he picked the cup up, tried to shake my hand and apologized then walked off. I kept my eye on that group for over an hour before I took my attention away.
Or just don't be a knob and you won't attract the attention in the first place
Running from a threat will save your life from a nut with a gun. It doesn't mean your a coward...it means your smarter than him.
I grew up in the ghettos and this is very true I learned to hit first and fast and most of the time the others ran
This does work most of the time. Before I had ever been in a fight I was terrified of getting into one. Just not backing down and displaying confidence even when I didn't have any saved me so many times. Bullys want an easy target. As I got older I learned how to take care of myself somewhat and it even boosted my confidence more for situations like this. It won't work every time though so def learn some self defense. Some people are just out to cause damage and damage themselves
Excellent advice. I was always told to look away. Instead I look at them and nod as if to say "Hey man." Worked every time so far.
I just stare back and smirk at them as I pass by. I was taught by my father if confronted strike first and don't stop, use every advantage to disable your a attacker and create distance. If you wind up on the ground remember anything goes to survive. The best advise he gave me is there is no shame in just walking away, but never back down when it comes to a hostile situation and then do everything you can to survive.
I always return it with a dead stare, slightly smile and slowly break eye contact sideways. Usually ends it. I let them know that i am relaxed and are tracking them without directly looking at them .
Retreat is underrated. Stay vigilant.
I look back with dead eyes and nod. That solves it 95% of times. It's a sign: we are in the same page.
Good info. Knowing some dialogue to supplement aggressive situations may help as well.
Good info here, I grew up in a rough neighborhood on the outskirts of Buenos Aires and we were on situational awareness before it was a thing, first rule I always follow is if possible don't put yourself in a situation where you may need to defend yourself, second always walk like you belong there even if isn't your neck of the woods but here's the fence line, don't walm like you are a big shot or own the street that will attract challenges, don't go to stupid places at stupid hours and there's nothing wrong with evasion, remember you don't have to accept all fight invitations l, the best way to win a fight is to not be in it.
He played polo and learnt perfect English in his slum
Whoever stares first is the one that fears most. Think about it: you see a dangerous dog - you cant help but stare at it, because you expect danger.
Not true at all. I have seen plenty of men stare first with no fear and ready to fight.
No my friend. ,,,,,,, . The human aint a dog and they are much , much more dangerouse !
With the mutts, sure. Once past them or not lucky enough to be a mutt, it means squat.
Not among humans.
I was raised you always look at someone when talking to them. Looking is not staring though. I was raised in a family where the men are strong and kind but no nonsense, my favorite uncle was the "runt" of the family at 5'11" army airborne special forces. He was intimidating when he wanted to be, probably the kindest man you could ever know. But looking him in the eyes was very difficult. He taught me young how to look and not be challenging, and how to be completely aware of the area you are in. These are lessons everyone should know. I passed these on to my kids and now my granddaughters. I miss him and thank him every day
Sage advice at the end. If you cant fight dont be triggered or learn to fight so you wont have to be. ❤ true story. 👍
Fear is a natural human response. The real question is, what do you fear? I don't fear another man, I fear what I may lose, what I love the most - my family! When they depend on your wisdom, guidance, and protection, nothing is worth placing them in that position! Let the ego go, and live to see another day! With that said, a quick eye to eye agreement, usually let's both sides know to mutually move on. I just did this a week ago!
When i hear that someone doesn't fear another man.. How is this possible?You must have at least a little fear of someone,maybe he is bigger,or taller or crazier,or a very good fighter,or he carries a weapon.I never understood this statement.Either you have a neurological deficiency or you are lying. I fear many men mainly because they are bigger and i'm not ashamed to admit it.
@@user-ki5fc1hn3p I would say that I don't have a neurological disorder, it's more of a mindset. If you're a fighter, you have just as much of a chance as your opponent, what's to fear? Size means nothing. My line training instructor was half my size, but technically sound, and had no problem mitigating my size.
Well said Sir
Always carry a gumb shield in your pocket. When you've got no chance of getting out of a bad situation with an obnoxious bully who wants to fight you, simply smile at them and put your gum shield in your mouth and say, "Come on then." One of two things will happen: they'll either be so shocked, perplexed, and fearful that they'll reconsider their actions (the gum shield is the symbol of a fighter); or they'll attack you anyway, but at least you've got your gum shield in which will give your teeth and jaw a bit of protection 😉.
This invites crazy egos if they are trying to instigate. Don't do this unless you know you have an upper hand. You pull out a gum-shield...they pull out a blade, Brass Knuckles, or a collapsible Baton. Silly advice really. I've witnessed this.
@@Neur0nauT 'When you've got no chance of getting out of a bad situation." It's not a casual option that you would use in any basic situation or if someone stares at you the wrong way, lol 😆.
I'm 80 already, so where do I buy the gumb shield?
@@dennishassler605 Sports shops or Amazon.
OK. I'm subscribed. Thanks!
I've always been scared, intimidated and unable to deal with the situation
But I still do it and most of the time that's why I win.
Don't be afraid to be afraid.
Be afraid that you won't fight back and make sure you convince yourself that you will defend yourself no matter what.
This is the best comment here. Well put!
You’ve never been in a fight mate, you are full of bs
Good stuff
For over the last 25 years, I've had people give me "death stares", especially as a teenager and in my 20s. Usually dealt with it by giving a small stare back and a small smirk, but never turn my back on them until them or I are out of the picture. From this not once has it resorted to violence.
Apparently, I can give a stare that can clear a room.
I can't emulate it. I'm a small girl. It honestly is baffling, but also kinda funny.
I'm a new guy at a job and ONe guy in particular stares me down all day everyday. I've stared back and even took out my phone to record him, he didn't like that at all lol. But I know it'll start again as soon as i go back. He made one guy quit because of it, and I think thats what he wants with me for whatever reason. I find that this is typical narcissist behavior. It honestly does make me want to quit and find a new place. The machining trade is full of elite narcs too...
The reflective surfaces trick is one I use all the time. Really helps with keeping track of your environment
Dont argue or push. When you get to the point that violence is unavoidable, be sure to punch first. I spent a few years in gladiator school. Juvenile maximum security. I fought 2 or 3 times a week. I used to like it. I have since realized that it was a sickness and do my best not to go back. I have several impact split scars above my eyes and my family say i walk differently than other people. You can tell a killer when you see one. Most people never get the chance to see a truely dangerous person.