Type 8; the critics are every little thing, and very specific, everything I have done wrong or failed at. Sounds like a 1 suppose but it’s different. It’s about failing leading to lack of control
😂❤Four is pretty good. A mantra in my life “I wasn’t dealt the same deck of cards as everyone else.” When someone comes into my life, I can unconsciously begin searching through their stories for defects in their family and childhood, then when I see they have the “perfect” mom, dad, siblings, grandparents, cousins etc., the inner critic shames me and says see? You are defective, you can’t be real with this person, you can’t relate to this person, so you can’t have this friend. You need to distance yourself. A theme song for me for the longest time- “Hello Mr. Heartache” by the Dixie Chicks. 😂 I watched the latest animated Grinch movie last night and was like, “That dude is a 4!” That is so me, going to 1 and judging everyone for being so materialistic at Christmas and isolating in my self-righteousness- when in reality it’s me angry about what I experienced during the holidays as a child. Awareness is grace.🙏🏻
My 9 inner critic messages: 1) Why did I speak up? 2) Tony, you're whispering to the wind.😄 3) This is too hard. This is no longer sustainable. (Which is actually true and healthy.) 4) I'm not going to make it. 5) I want to, I can, it's possible, but people don't want... -Tony B.
I think you nailed the 8-challenger. The distrusting inner critic-trust no one, don’t show weakness-vulnerability critic, and the dial it back, you’re too much-critic. They sometimes tag-team 🤯
My husband is a 5w6 and has a master's in economics.... You sounded EXACTLY like him! "Zero sum analysis"... I literally laughed out loud! "Let's be sure to look at ALL sides.. you can't trust anybody."
Going against what feels like your own innate nature is hard but worth it. I like listening to the cheesiest pop music sometimes, and it really improves my mood! 4w5
Same. This year I’ve become obsessed with girl pop. And I’ve connected with some amazing women over it ❤ it makes life more interesting and light hearted. 4w5 as well.
My inner critic as a 6 isn’t so much that the end of the world will happen if I make the wrong choice, it is that if I make the wrong choice I could be held back when others can progress, and the idea of being held back by my own ignorance is a painful thing. My lack of trust in others isn’t that they are playing their own angle, it is that they might be more ignorant than me. Both ideas are usually summarily false. It’s a good thing to remind myself daily it is okay to make mistakes.
You were close on the 8... My inner critic is usually critical of other people rather than myself, but sometimes it comes out and it accuses me of being too mean, like you said, or too much. Usually it just tells me some form of "you don't actually feel that" - either "suck it up, buttercup," or that I actually feel angry and definitely NOT hurt because that would mean someone actually affected me and that would be unacceptable.
Parts work/ IFS suggests that when we attack something about another, we're actually attacking a part of ourselves that we are rejecting. Example that person is loud just to get attention. We're actually rejecting the part of us that wants to be seen and connect with people.
Thank you for sharing your perspective! It's so interesting to hear how the inner critic plays out for different people, especially with the unique twists you mentioned.
Having an 8 for a sibling, I can say from experience that they can be critical when they perceive others as "stupid" or not taking responsibility with the strength they personally have. This further escalates when they are trying to integrate into 2 since they are trying to help people become strong themselves but the people they are trying to aid don't provide input on how they can be helped or too stubborn and/or lazy to improve. This is when 8's try to overcompensate and try to take control and dominate other person's lives because they perceive them as weak and will either spoon feed(2) or bully(5) them to submission.
That's a really insightful perspective! It's interesting how an Enneagram 8's drive for strength and responsibility can sometimes lead to misunderstandings with others. Your experience highlights the complexities of these personality dynamics!
Overthinking is very easy to do as a type 5. Its my biggest weakness to just find a "valid" reason to not do anything. I will also add that i have immense pressure to fix everything. Including in my relationships, which makes things frustrating to others who dont think anything needs fixed lol. Not sure if thats part of my enneagram or if thats just a personality unique to me.
Hating how accurate the 2 is but also I feel like I'm overextending myself by just existing half the time 😭 also the 6 is a mood because EVERYONE TYPE 1 PARENTING AHSHSJDJAISJAJSBSHDHSJW But like usually only when I'm at home. Like otherwise I'm kinda chilling which is wack Also 7. Screaming. Everything is so boring. WHAT IS HAPPINESS? God, fomo kills me. Contentment ugh For me it's more the latter on 8. Constantly looking at people's actions and whether or not they're trying to get something from me. Pain. 9 too ugh getting out of the expectations... I literally dropped a job because of dramaaaaa after ghosting themmmm frick -
Good god… ugh They don’t care about me or…..yep! That is the Bain of my 2w1 exsistance. Or why would they do that to me or they never blah, blah, blah for me 😒
It sounds like you're really resonating with the struggles of a 2w1! Remember, the inner critic can be tough, but recognizing it is the first step towards growth.
@ absolutely. I’ve thought it was true for 45yrs…. I’m seeing most likely everyone I thought didn’t care-did. It’s sobering. Thanks for this work-it’s very meaningful!
Goin' in deep Dr. Tom - I can't be sure, but I think my dog approves; one head is a little apprehensive and growls low in its throat, on guard. The second stands ready, straining at the leash, eager for the hunt. And the third salivates, wants to wag the tail, expectant of another treat. "We are legion" comes to mind, a Greek chorus plus Plato, Diogenes, the Oracle of Delphi, the central casting director, prop master...a more than you can stomach Big Fat Greek buffet of everything BUT seven, but 9, 1, 4, and 5 seem to be prominent in turns of shifting self-states - it's difficult to distinguish one voice from another in the cacophony of dissociated affect and not enough solid objectivity in language (alexithymia). I view the internal critic as a manifestation of the Object Relations concept of anti-libidinal ego. I visualize my own (Jungian / IFS / "parts" work) as a 30 foot flaming giant, his legs, torso, and arms a pair of fiery tornadoes entwined and twisting, a double helix of intergenerational legacy, with a voice of thunder and a lash of lightning ... the image internalized by a small child looking up at a critical, angry, and indifferent parent(s), but also an overprotective guardian ... "YOU serve ME Gatekeeper!" No longer; I will be Master At Arms here. I was BORN for this, I have Twilight in my eyes, and I do my best work in the Dark. Nihil ausus, nihil mutatum. Carpè Noctum!!!!
Type 8; the critics are every little thing, and very specific, everything I have done wrong or failed at. Sounds like a 1 suppose but it’s different. It’s about failing leading to lack of control
😂❤Four is pretty good. A mantra in my life “I wasn’t dealt the same deck of cards as everyone else.” When someone comes into my life, I can unconsciously begin searching through their stories for defects in their family and childhood, then when I see they have the “perfect” mom, dad, siblings, grandparents, cousins etc., the inner critic shames me and says see? You are defective, you can’t be real with this person, you can’t relate to this person, so you can’t have this friend. You need to distance yourself. A theme song for me for the longest time- “Hello Mr. Heartache” by the Dixie Chicks. 😂 I watched the latest animated Grinch movie last night and was like, “That dude is a 4!” That is so me, going to 1 and judging everyone for being so materialistic at Christmas and isolating in my self-righteousness- when in reality it’s me angry about what I experienced during the holidays as a child. Awareness is grace.🙏🏻
That's a really powerful example of how the inner critic can be so deeply rooted in our past!
My 9 inner critic messages:
1) Why did I speak up?
2) Tony, you're whispering to the wind.😄
3) This is too hard. This is no longer sustainable. (Which is actually true and healthy.)
4) I'm not going to make it.
5) I want to, I can, it's possible, but people don't want...
-Tony B.
I think you nailed the 8-challenger. The distrusting inner critic-trust no one, don’t show weakness-vulnerability critic, and the dial it back, you’re too much-critic. They sometimes tag-team 🤯
Yep, he spoke my life!
Ultimately they don’t trust their vulnerability or life itself
That’s a huge burden to pack around
Timestamps (although, I highly recommend watching the entire video):
1 - 4:00
2 - 8:49
3 - 12:18
4 - 15:58
5 - 19:59
6 - 22:55
7 - 26:42
8 - 30:16
9 - 32:41
🫶
Thanks, I will put those in my description.
As an 8, my inner critic looks for anything that is out of control and casts blame. It also is quite vocal if I am in need of help or a break.
I’m a 8 w a 7 wing and I really enjoyed this video
It’s refreshing
I will name her Joy Stealer; she always steals my joy right after I feel good about achieving something! 😄
“Critical Charlie because you’re different” 😂 that got me. 4w3
The struggle is real...
5w6... you hit the nail on the head with the type 5... 😬
it's also: "i'm not ready, wait... i'm not ready, wait..."
I agree, the description for 5 felt like someone read my mind lol
My husband is a 5w6 and has a master's in economics.... You sounded EXACTLY like him!
"Zero sum analysis"... I literally laughed out loud!
"Let's be sure to look at ALL sides.. you can't trust anybody."
That is Awesome...
Going against what feels like your own innate nature is hard but worth it. I like listening to the cheesiest pop music sometimes, and it really improves my mood! 4w5
Fair enough!
Same. This year I’ve become obsessed with girl pop. And I’ve connected with some amazing women over it ❤ it makes life more interesting and light hearted. 4w5 as well.
@@lovelylindsey Yes!! 👍 x
My inner critic as a 6 isn’t so much that the end of the world will happen if I make the wrong choice, it is that if I make the wrong choice I could be held back when others can progress, and the idea of being held back by my own ignorance is a painful thing.
My lack of trust in others isn’t that they are playing their own angle, it is that they might be more ignorant than me.
Both ideas are usually summarily false. It’s a good thing to remind myself daily it is okay to make mistakes.
You were close on the 8... My inner critic is usually critical of other people rather than myself, but sometimes it comes out and it accuses me of being too mean, like you said, or too much. Usually it just tells me some form of "you don't actually feel that" - either "suck it up, buttercup," or that I actually feel angry and definitely NOT hurt because that would mean someone actually affected me and that would be unacceptable.
Parts work/ IFS suggests that when we attack something about another, we're actually attacking a part of ourselves that we are rejecting. Example that person is loud just to get attention. We're actually rejecting the part of us that wants to be seen and connect with people.
Thank you for sharing your perspective! It's so interesting to hear how the inner critic plays out for different people, especially with the unique twists you mentioned.
Thanks, Dr. Tom.
Having an 8 for a sibling, I can say from experience that they can be critical when they perceive others as "stupid" or not taking responsibility with the strength they personally have. This further escalates when they are trying to integrate into 2 since they are trying to help people become strong themselves but the people they are trying to aid don't provide input on how they can be helped or too stubborn and/or lazy to improve. This is when 8's try to overcompensate and try to take control and dominate other person's lives because they perceive them as weak and will either spoon feed(2) or bully(5) them to submission.
That's a really insightful perspective! It's interesting how an Enneagram 8's drive for strength and responsibility can sometimes lead to misunderstandings with others. Your experience highlights the complexities of these personality dynamics!
Nailed it all wow 😮💯👏🌼Thank You 🙏🙏
You are so welcome
Overthinking is very easy to do as a type 5. Its my biggest weakness to just find a "valid" reason to not do anything. I will also add that i have immense pressure to fix everything. Including in my relationships, which makes things frustrating to others who dont think anything needs fixed lol. Not sure if thats part of my enneagram or if thats just a personality unique to me.
You’re not going to read that book on dinner table etiquette because you’re a 7 🤣 God bless you I love your input and it’s really helpful 💜
Relate to I’m so defective
Would you pretty please dive into 2s and the dark side of enabling!
Hating how accurate the 2 is but also I feel like I'm overextending myself by just existing half the time 😭
also the 6 is a mood because EVERYONE TYPE 1 PARENTING AHSHSJDJAISJAJSBSHDHSJW
But like usually only when I'm at home. Like otherwise I'm kinda chilling which is wack
Also 7. Screaming. Everything is so boring. WHAT IS HAPPINESS? God, fomo kills me. Contentment ugh
For me it's more the latter on 8. Constantly looking at people's actions and whether or not they're trying to get something from me. Pain.
9 too ugh getting out of the expectations... I literally dropped a job because of dramaaaaa after ghosting themmmm frick -
Thanks for your feedback.
Good god… ugh They don’t care about me or…..yep! That is the Bain of my 2w1 exsistance. Or why would they do that to me or they never blah, blah, blah for me 😒
It sounds like you're really resonating with the struggles of a 2w1! Remember, the inner critic can be tough, but recognizing it is the first step towards growth.
@ absolutely. I’ve thought it was true for 45yrs…. I’m seeing most likely everyone I thought didn’t care-did. It’s sobering. Thanks for this work-it’s very meaningful!
Goin' in deep Dr. Tom - I can't be sure, but I think my dog approves; one head is a little apprehensive and growls low in its throat, on guard. The second stands ready, straining at the leash, eager for the hunt. And the third salivates, wants to wag the tail, expectant of another treat.
"We are legion" comes to mind, a Greek chorus plus Plato, Diogenes, the Oracle of Delphi, the central casting director, prop master...a more than you can stomach Big Fat Greek buffet of everything BUT seven, but 9, 1, 4, and 5 seem to be prominent in turns of shifting self-states - it's difficult to distinguish one voice from another in the cacophony of dissociated affect and not enough solid objectivity in language (alexithymia).
I view the internal critic as a manifestation of the Object Relations concept of anti-libidinal ego. I visualize my own (Jungian / IFS / "parts" work) as a 30 foot flaming giant, his legs, torso, and arms a pair of fiery tornadoes entwined and twisting, a double helix of intergenerational legacy, with a voice of thunder and a lash of lightning ... the image internalized by a small child looking up at a critical, angry, and indifferent parent(s), but also an overprotective guardian ... "YOU serve ME Gatekeeper!" No longer; I will be Master At Arms here. I was BORN for this, I have Twilight in my eyes, and I do my best work in the Dark. Nihil ausus, nihil mutatum. Carpè Noctum!!!!