STOP Thanking People Who Hurt You
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- Опубліковано 8 жов 2024
- This video is a big talk about claiming your success.
I see many people do that, in real life, films TV shows, or award events. Some people would thank their abusers or bullies for hurting them and that traumatic experience to help them grow. I don't get it, nor do I want to perpetuate this seemingly being a bigger person to thank them.
Suffering/abuse/bullying is never a glorious event that leads to a better outcome. It never is.
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Sometimes, you just have callout bad behavior. And tell them an asshole. You can't be nice to everyone. Who mistreat you.
I couldn’t when I was a kid. I can now
People who care and want to help are at their best when they show the way. Then catch us when we fall.
😢
❤
I have a question what's the right thing to do in a situation?
I've been saying for years that my mother and I need to see a mother-daughter counselor or something therapist
Someone who specializes in family issues
These past months I have tried to get my mother to listen again
All we have been doing for months is arguing with each other we can't even sit down and talk to each other
She said we would go see a family therapist if I continued with individual therapy.
I have continued my individual therapy
Yet she still refuses go because she doesn't want to sit for hours and basically be told she's a bad mom.
Like what?
She has said that I'm the one denial
She said we can't go until I'm fixed
Like what?
She tried to have me committed because according to the lies she told I isolate myself I'm always in my room
I'm an introvert btw
She's talking crap about me to other family members
Who are of course believing her thinking I'm just sitting on my ass and not doing anything which is farthest from the truth.
At the same time they're telling me to help my mother but they're telling me to get my life together it's very confusing.
I called my mother hypocrite due to the fact that
my mother has a therapist and she let it slip she hasn't seen her therapist in months
What do I do about the whole situation?
I'm trying to get things in place so I can move out
But if I do
Would I even want relationship with my mom I don't think I would
Keep in mind I have an older sister who also doesn't talk to my mom
Hi there, your relationship with your mother is a bit similar to mine, not by a lot tough, so I just want you to keep that in mind when you listen to what I'm gonna say. I'm also an introvert too.
Since you're going to therapy, it is absolutely the best thing that you can do. Here's the thing, the one who needs therapy the most often doesn't go to therapy, and this is frustrating, but I gotta put this out. And one more thing, when you confront your mom about certain things she did to you, she would deny that by saying she has never done it. That happened to me🙃
When you live with your parents, your habits, thoughts, values and almost quite a lot of things will be shaped by them (and your siblings). Moving out of home is expensive, but it offers you the physical distance between you and your family, and the benefit of that is you can ACTUALLY sort out your life in a safer and calmer place. One of my coworkers moved out of the house because of the relationship with their mom, so it is not a weird or wrong thing to do. After they move away from home for a while, their relationship with the mom got better. In my case, I lived abroad for many years to study, and during that time I learned a lot more about myself and saw how valuable living away from my home.
It might seem like you are abandoning the relationship by moving away from home, but it can help to heal the relationship. As you and your mom get more space to think and adjust your life, your mental health can improve, and maybe you can figure out a better way to interact with your mom. If your relationship with your mom is not extremely bad (way too abusive, life-threatening kind of abuse), at the end of the day, you would still find yourself caring about them. Sometimes you don't even love them or just love them a little, but because it's family, you care about their updates.
Physical distance and time can help you find clarity. Not necessarily healing the relationship, but you will find an answer. Your experience is unique, and so you are the one who can come up with the best answer. Trust yourself!❤
Hope this helps