Hi everyone, I just got a comment saying I could have started by defining masking. I thought it was a good point, so here is the definition: "Masking is the process of intentionally, or unintentionally, hiding aspects of yourself to avoid harm." Thanks to @niallgaafar for the suggestion.
Psychedelics definitely have potential to deal with mental health symptoms like anxiety and depression, I would like to try them again but it's just so hard to source out here
I’ve been researching on psychedelics and it’s benefits to individuals dealing with Anxiety, Depression, ADHD and from my findings, they really work and I’ve been eager to get some for a while but its been difficult to get my hands on them.
The Trips I've been having really helped me a lot. I’m now able to meditate and I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well
@@CarmenOrtiz440 I feel the same way too. I put too much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels. I am also glad to be a part of this community.
Thank you Ariije for bringing these topics to light. It is sad to hear how many folks experienced what today would be classed as child abuse in early education. The UK state school system in the 1960/70s remained steeped in a Victorian style of threat and humiliation coupled with an abject lack of understanding of an individuals learning development; definitely a 'one-size-fits-all' approach... thank goodness educational awareness has changed.
Excellent! I think it's interesting to touch the emotional toll of being dyslexic, sometimes. As a middle aged grown up, I'm still finding myself having moments when I can suddenly see just how awful my experience of school and learning was for me. Now, as a teacher, or be it a Drawing teacher rather than a school teacher, I'm amazed and appalled by what my teachers did (a little bit of my own 'shadow' coming to light here, perhaps?). Lots of things come to mind, but a lot of the shame and embarrassment was actually created by the learning environment and was totally unnecessary, even back in the 1970/80s (it wasn't the Victoria era, after all! Or was it? 😂). These are excellent videos, btw.
Imagine, we could get rid of all the unnecessary harm. That by itself would already be huge. We definitely would not have to deal with so much shame and embarrassment...
As a therapist, i want to thank you for integrating the concepts of shadow work and unmasking so simply that it feels like it should have been obvious. But these two sets of ideas were living in two separate compartments in my mind. It will help me help others with the sometimes surprising depth of unmasking and for those seeking the profound, understanding the importance attending to the more everyday aspects shadow work.
late discovered female auDHD (inattentive adhd in 30s & autism in 40s) with C-PTSD starting from childhood so deeply relate to your quotes in the persona & ego chapters as masking is so automatic ~ thank you for this 🌈♾️💖
When I was young, I was given two pieces of advice by two different schoolmasters who had come to know me well enough; both were as insightful as they were intelligent (and each had a PhD). The first said: 'You must never wait to be educated, but educate yourself "by any and every means possible to you".' (I understood the fullness of what he left unsaid). The second seemed to see right through me, saying: 'The spoken word predates the written by millennia; it only follows that "many highly intelligent people lived in a time before the written word even existed".' (He said this privately, with no previous remark and no further comment). I only had the privilege of their instruction for less than two years. Neither said anything further on the subject ever again, and the subject itself was never formally broached... standard for the time. With your permission, I should like to contact you via your e-mail address. Thank you for this video.
"You must never wait to be educated, but educate yourself "by any and every means possible." This is a great quote, and it must have been especially nice to hear these kinds of things as a young person. And sure, feel free to reach out to me: arijeaikedehaas@gmail.com
Thank you for this... I previously thought masking was merely the thing we do to survive (to be a functional member of society) and to hide from uncomfortable explanations to others. I didn't really think about it as something that grows from a 'shadow'. As a child I was very hurt that the world wouldn't fit me as I was, I was unacceptable - and as an adult I've worked very hard to 'fit' the world of work to keep my battered pride intact, so that I am acceptable. I'm also glad you covered stigma, because that was my one question for you as I was watching this video unfolding.. I'm going to think more about that point about informal vs formal labels because I think that is very interesting.
After listening to the video it reminded me of when i was in (a jewish) school and i mispronounced a word of tehilim wrong which was followed by a teacher yelling that i was a disappointment to g-d and will cause negative things to happen after that ,zs well as you cannot use your finger to track because you are erasing g-ds words and everyone can see your trick,after those experiences do not feel confident praying in public .
A lot of us had experiences where people made us feel bad about ourselves. And as a reaction: avoidance is also common, like for example deciding not to pray in public.
Wow, this is fascinating, thanks so much I love your videos but I never comment because most of the time I watch your videos from my tv kitchen. As a UA-camr, I've noticed that some people think I'm the person behind my own channel. Sometimes, when I'm in front of the camera, I feel like I'm putting on a bit of a persona.
Filming yourself is super interesting in that regard. On the one hand, it is a sort of performative role. Talking a bit faster seems to increase retention, so people say you should come in with high energy. But then again, people also seem to want something that is real. And then you are looking at your own recording, and you are confronted with yourself. A lot of people really don't like it 😀. Also, the more authentic you are, the more you open yourself up for being hurt. If your mask is being rejected you can tell yourself they did not realy reject me they only rejected my mask. If you are being authentic it might be harder to deal with negative feedback. Loads of interesting aspects to it.
@@ArijeAikedeHaas wow, i haven't seen it from that perspective before and thanks a lot for your reply. your take on balancing performance and authenticity, the discomfort of seeing yourself on camera, and the vulnerability of being real really opened my eyes. lots of interesting aspects to think about! 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
I have not seen a lot of his work. However, I did see that he recommends an anti-motion drug to treat dyslexia and ADHD (11 years ago). That is certainly not the most commonly agreed-upon treatment. However, dyslexia and even more so, ADHD is diagnosed based on symptoms. That means that it is not always clear what the underlying core issue is. For some, it might be true that they have an inner ear problem and then an anti-motion drug would be helpful however, to my knowledge research does not suggest that that is true for the majority of dyslexics.
Hi Janna, I work with adults, so I would not be a good fit. However, if you would like to talk yourself or seek advice, feel free to reach out. dehaas1on1.com
If you need someone to talk to, then you can pick a time here: calendly.com/arijeaikedehaas/60min. I usually take money for my coaching, but the first session is free...
"Burn it all down", That's familiar. But then how would that have changed who I am for the better... who knows maybe it wouldn't. And the "masking", I feel like it's inappropriate behavior, in public, to allow my own "freak outs"(unmasked behavior) or wharever anyone wants to call them, to negatively bother the public social occasion/event- whether it's shopping, Dr appt, Church thing or just walking down the street. In my mind eye there is no positive value to publicly distressing other with my personal "distress". Like, for instance, I was waiting in a very long line to get my driver's license renewed. It was hot. The room was not ventilated good enough and the air conditioning was not working. And someone's BO was over the top disgusting not to mention another's "shat" smell from a dirty fart that was hanging in the air like a slime stuckon the wall. I was nauseous, i thought I was having an allergic reaction(could have been idk)- felt like my internal temp was up 2 or 3°, had a migraine, and felt like I was going to puke or passout but I held it together. It wouldn't have helped anyone if I had showed them I was having an anxiety issue.😅 I do this all of the time. I ask myself if my anxiety will benefit the situation. The answer is always "no" so I mask it(i think). My mindset is that it's impolite to distress others in general. 😅
I think it's always a kind of balancing act. I would agree that all kinds of random people on the street don't need to know all your emotions. However, if you deem that side of yourself generally unacceptable and you start to repress it-- meaning nobody ever hears about it and you judge that side of yourself and try to push it aside--then it seems we get into an area where it can become unhealthy. Also, these negative things that we suppress are often unconscious, and you are very aware of your anxiety in those situations. So then deciding to deal with it in that manner in which you actively tell yourself that it's no use to let everybody around you know is also a form of integration. You take on a fitting social role for the situation you are in. So I think that makes sense.
Hi everyone, I just got a comment saying I could have started by defining masking. I thought it was a good point, so here is the definition: "Masking is the process of intentionally, or unintentionally, hiding aspects of yourself to avoid harm." Thanks to @niallgaafar for the suggestion.
Psychedelics definitely have potential to deal with mental health symptoms like anxiety and depression, I would like to try them again but it's just so hard to source out here
I’ve been researching on psychedelics and it’s benefits to individuals dealing with Anxiety, Depression, ADHD and from my findings, they really work and I’ve been eager to get some for a while but its been difficult to get my hands on them.
The Trips I've been having really helped me a lot. I’m now able to meditate and I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well
I was having this constant, unbearable anxiety due to work stress. Not until I came across a very intelligent mycologist. He saved my life honestly
@@CarmenOrtiz440
I feel the same way too. I put too much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels. I am also glad to be a part of this community.
@@AlbertoTorres894Does he deliver to various locations?
Thank you Ariije for bringing these topics to light. It is sad to hear how many folks experienced what today would be classed as child abuse in early education. The UK state school system in the 1960/70s remained steeped in a Victorian style of threat and humiliation coupled with an abject lack of understanding of an individuals learning development; definitely a 'one-size-fits-all' approach... thank goodness educational awareness has changed.
Excellent! I think it's interesting to touch the emotional toll of being dyslexic, sometimes. As a middle aged grown up, I'm still finding myself having moments when I can suddenly see just how awful my experience of school and learning was for me. Now, as a teacher, or be it a Drawing teacher rather than a school teacher, I'm amazed and appalled by what my teachers did (a little bit of my own 'shadow' coming to light here, perhaps?). Lots of things come to mind, but a lot of the shame and embarrassment was actually created by the learning environment and was totally unnecessary, even back in the 1970/80s (it wasn't the Victoria era, after all! Or was it? 😂).
These are excellent videos, btw.
Imagine, we could get rid of all the unnecessary harm. That by itself would already be huge. We definitely would not have to deal with so much shame and embarrassment...
Yes totally relatable. Thank you for covering this.
I thought it was a topic that was missing on my channel. Good to hear that you agree.
As a therapist, i want to thank you for integrating the concepts of shadow work and unmasking so simply that it feels like it should have been obvious. But these two sets of ideas were living in two separate compartments in my mind. It will help me help others with the sometimes surprising depth of unmasking and for those seeking the profound, understanding the importance attending to the more everyday aspects shadow work.
I am really glad you find it valuable. And if you can use it to help your clients even better!
late discovered female auDHD (inattentive adhd in 30s & autism in 40s) with C-PTSD starting from childhood so deeply relate to your quotes in the persona & ego chapters as masking is so automatic ~ thank you for this 🌈♾️💖
You are welcome 🤗
thank you 👍👍👍
You are welcome. :)
Great video and insights.
Thank you happy to hear you enjoyed it.
@@ArijeAikedeHaas No problem you're doing some excellent work on the channel.
@@wptonic 🥳
This is great. I guess am on my way to unmasking quite a bit now but I had to have a 3 year breakdown to stop masking/find out who I really am
That sounds like a difficult but also rewarding process!
When I was young, I was given two pieces of advice by two different schoolmasters who had come to know me well enough; both were as insightful as they were intelligent (and each had a PhD). The first said: 'You must never wait to be educated, but educate yourself "by any and every means possible to you".' (I understood the fullness of what he left unsaid). The second seemed to see right through me, saying: 'The spoken word predates the written by millennia; it only follows that "many highly intelligent people lived in a time before the written word even existed".' (He said this privately, with no previous remark and no further comment). I only had the privilege of their instruction for less than two years. Neither said anything further on the subject ever again, and the subject itself was never formally broached... standard for the time.
With your permission, I should like to contact you via your e-mail address. Thank you for this video.
"You must never wait to be educated, but educate yourself "by any and every means possible." This is a great quote, and it must have been especially nice to hear these kinds of things as a young person. And sure, feel free to reach out to me: arijeaikedehaas@gmail.com
Thank you for this... I previously thought masking was merely the thing we do to survive (to be a functional member of society) and to hide from uncomfortable explanations to others. I didn't really think about it as something that grows from a 'shadow'. As a child I was very hurt that the world wouldn't fit me as I was, I was unacceptable - and as an adult I've worked very hard to 'fit' the world of work to keep my battered pride intact, so that I am acceptable. I'm also glad you covered stigma, because that was my one question for you as I was watching this video unfolding.. I'm going to think more about that point about informal vs formal labels because I think that is very interesting.
I find maths very difficult and i also struggle with spelling putting letters in the wrong orders😢
After listening to the video it reminded me of when i was in (a jewish) school and i mispronounced a word of tehilim wrong which was followed by a teacher yelling that i was a disappointment to g-d and will cause negative things to happen after that ,zs well as you cannot use your finger to track because you are erasing g-ds words and everyone can see your trick,after those experiences do not feel confident praying in public .
A lot of us had experiences where people made us feel bad about ourselves. And as a reaction: avoidance is also common, like for example deciding not to pray in public.
Wow, this is fascinating, thanks so much I love your videos but I never comment because most of the time I watch your videos from my tv kitchen. As a UA-camr, I've noticed that some people think I'm the person behind my own channel. Sometimes, when I'm in front of the camera, I feel like I'm putting on a bit of a persona.
Filming yourself is super interesting in that regard. On the one hand, it is a sort of performative role. Talking a bit faster seems to increase retention, so people say you should come in with high energy. But then again, people also seem to want something that is real. And then you are looking at your own recording, and you are confronted with yourself. A lot of people really don't like it 😀. Also, the more authentic you are, the more you open yourself up for being hurt. If your mask is being rejected you can tell yourself they did not realy reject me they only rejected my mask. If you are being authentic it might be harder to deal with negative feedback. Loads of interesting aspects to it.
@@ArijeAikedeHaas wow, i haven't seen it from that perspective before and thanks a lot for your reply. your take on balancing performance and authenticity, the discomfort of seeing yourself on camera, and the vulnerability of being real really opened my eyes. lots of interesting aspects to think about! 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
❤
🥳
🙏👏
🥳
Good video but it would be helpful if you defined what masking is.
I fully agree. I simply forgot about it. But I pinned my first comment and there I added the a definition. thank you for you feedback.
Another Excellence video. Have you come across dr. Harold N. Levinson work. What are your thoughts?
I have not seen a lot of his work. However, I did see that he recommends an anti-motion drug to treat dyslexia and ADHD (11 years ago). That is certainly not the most commonly agreed-upon treatment. However, dyslexia and even more so, ADHD is diagnosed based on symptoms. That means that it is not always clear what the underlying core issue is. For some, it might be true that they have an inner ear problem and then an anti-motion drug would be helpful however, to my knowledge research does not suggest that that is true for the majority of dyslexics.
I need help for a child in 2nd grade
Hi Janna, I work with adults, so I would not be a good fit. However, if you would like to talk yourself or seek advice, feel free to reach out. dehaas1on1.com
I don't have a friend to talk to.
If you need someone to talk to, then you can pick a time here: calendly.com/arijeaikedehaas/60min. I usually take money for my coaching, but the first session is free...
"Burn it all down", That's familiar. But then how would that have changed who I am for the better... who knows maybe it wouldn't.
And the "masking", I feel like it's inappropriate behavior, in public, to allow my own "freak outs"(unmasked behavior) or wharever anyone wants to call them, to negatively bother the public social occasion/event- whether it's shopping, Dr appt, Church thing or just walking down the street. In my mind eye there is no positive value to publicly distressing other with my personal "distress".
Like, for instance, I was waiting in a very long line to get my driver's license renewed. It was hot. The room was not ventilated good enough and the air conditioning was not working. And someone's BO was over the top disgusting not to mention another's "shat" smell from a dirty fart that was hanging in the air like a slime stuckon the wall. I was nauseous, i thought I was having an allergic reaction(could have been idk)- felt like my internal temp was up 2 or 3°, had a migraine, and felt like I was going to puke or passout but I held it together. It wouldn't have helped anyone if I had showed them I was having an anxiety issue.😅
I do this all of the time. I ask myself if my anxiety will benefit the situation. The answer is always "no" so I mask it(i think). My mindset is that it's impolite to distress others in general. 😅
I think it's always a kind of balancing act. I would agree that all kinds of random people on the street don't need to know all your emotions. However, if you deem that side of yourself generally unacceptable and you start to repress it-- meaning nobody ever hears about it and you judge that side of yourself and try to push it aside--then it seems we get into an area where it can become unhealthy. Also, these negative things that we suppress are often unconscious, and you are very aware of your anxiety in those situations. So then deciding to deal with it in that manner in which you actively tell yourself that it's no use to let everybody around you know is also a form of integration. You take on a fitting social role for the situation you are in. So I think that makes sense.