What’s toxic is when a woman touches another woman inappropriately and use the excuse “we have the same parts”.Most women been sexually assaulted by other women and don’t even realize it.🤦🏾♂️
That actually happened to me ;-; i was being assaulted in 7th grade but i thought it was ok bc she was a girl and my friend but i did not give her permission i just told her to stop in the most nicest ways and sometimes i would ignore bc she wouldnt stop but now me being older and in high now i understood that what she was doing was rlly messed up and im glad she grew from that and we are older now.
I must admit, going from elementary, middle and high school where you have to ask permission to do anything and then going to college...big difference. It took awhile to realize that you really could just get up to get a drink, or go to the bathroom or take a call without permission. Professors just dont want the distraction of someone raising a hand, you're an adult, just get up and go.
oml you can rlly do that im a freshmen and will soon go to college :DDDDDDD oml why i would be that one student still raising there hand in college lol
@@alwaysannoyedforever518 I think it would be more important to lesson the discipline and focus more on the education. They could teach money managment,tax knowledge, bring back cooking class and biology and sex education ( now it's a watered down version) You know stuff you should know in the real world now they just take individuality away from students and only care about test scores for funding for schools.
I think the self love guy was trying to make a point about how people try to better themselves with things like fitness and mental stability without focusing on their faults so then they would start repeating the same mistakes over and over again
From what I've seen most people start these journeys because they realise the negative experiences that keep repeating in their lives or stagnant situations etc. I could be wrong, but we normally want to fix what we deem 'broken' and I know most humans are aware that they can never fix everything. That guy left me confused to be honest.
Ppl usually gravitate towards taking care of themselves after an extended period of not being content with ones situations and understanding ones own mistake. Ppl decide to workout and go on diets after realising Thier bad eating habits ppl read books, meditate, pick up a hobby to get rid of stress or mental issues and etc... That dudes point really didn't make any sense. He was just saying things to say things.
@@Aloysius_OHare Isn't the journey focused on the negative part already, at least in fixing it so to speak? I see the "being positive" as the means to an end, not so? Anyway to each his own, I still didn't get his point.
He was saying that people try to change what others see of you (superficial things that are internalized) rather than what we see in ourselves. Personally, I’m so honest with myself that I can’t even fake making progress. I have to take baby steps or do a deep dive.
That last one is exactly how I've always felt and why I dont plan to have kids least anytime soon. Too many people are having kids when they aren't ready physically, emotionally, financially or while they are still dealing with their internal struggles. The generational trauma needs to stop
An extremely toxic aspect of modern culture is the get rich quick scheme life. People online sometimes think that being able to lie to multiple people and have them believe you is a strength, rather than a warning sign for mental illness. Being willing to con people, and sometimes even loved ones, out of their hard-earned money, should be seen and called out for the moral abomination that it is, immediately.
I mean not everyone is gonna have the same moral, I would walk over strangers if it will save me, or keep me from suffering. I pride myself over self preservation, no matter how selfish might be. You will need to lie in the world, might as well get good at it.
@@kindsplash21 Everyone lies, so you're being a hypocrite. Second, you can tell me what is good, we have definitely morals. They don't come universally.
As an 18 year old everytime I get into wit my parents I always have something to say because they’re gonna run with a false narrative of me. I always reply and defend myself. They’re African so they believe I should be in a child’s place and never reply. Even when they ask. So I made sure if I had kids if they ever get in a predicament I listen to exactly what they say so we can figure out what the root of the problem is instead of shutting them down and saying they’re being disrespectful. I want them to feel comfortable enough to to speak to me.
THIS! i grew up in a hispanic household and my mom insults me and holds me to a higher standard than my sister just because i'm older and when i say something back she tells me i'm being disrespectful and that i need to respect her because she's my mom and she's older. That's not how it works. You give respect to earn respect. She also tells me to shut up when i tell her something's bothering me because she claims she has it worse. I'm not saying that mine is worse, i'm just saying i'm struggling. So i told myself that when i have kids i'll make sure to listen to them and their struggles and help them and love them no matter what and to not hold them to certain standard because of the order i gave birth to them. I'm constantly being bashed because i don't know how to do certain things and because of my age because my mom feels the need to tell everyone that she learned to cook when she was 10. it breaks me and i've been feeling suicidal for a really long time. I can't wait to leave the house and never return. She favorites my sister so my sister can take care of her when she needs her, i'm out.
@@gabrielamorel7234 girl are you sure you not talking about my mom? She favorites the fuck outta my lil sister too but claims she loves us all. I have a friend who has a close relationship with her mom and has always been close with her since she’s the only girl and oldest. All of a sudden out of the damn fucking sick riding blue my mom wants to get closer. But she only talks about her issues and wants you to bring up an issue. I keep telling that woman that I don’t got beef wit nobody and that I’m coo. Jus a lil stressed but I can handled it. She got mad and told my dad I was mad disrespectful. And when she says we can talk to her about anything that’s jus on her own time. We want to have a normal conversation not every damn aspect of our lives is an issue goddamit. I don’t know what she fucking wants. Cuz I’ve confided in her thrice and she’s used all of them against but expects me to run to her to solve my problems. Nah I. Coo you gon tell ya mom and ya dad and MY dad. Fuck no.
I was babysitting my little pieces and nephews, and they wanted to have candy for breakfast and lunch. I listened to them carefully, and realized they had a point, and let them have all the candy, ice cream and sweets they wanted for diner and breakfast. Children are really wise. I also let them watch tv till after midnight, because they articulated their opinions and wishes so well.
I've hated when people say " I'm a tóxica" as if it's a cute thing. Romanticizing a toxic relationship is not cute and makes other people believe that it's normal when instead you should never have to put up with a toxic relationship with no body
I think the self health guy meant everyone sees the self health, self love thing, as physical, but they need to dig deeper than trying to exercise, and eating healthier, but get to the root of why you want to do these things, get to the root of your insecurities, work on your mental the same way you’re trying to work on your physical, because if you don’t then you’re going to remain on the same cycle of always trying to “fix” yourself. (Also, like do this for yourself, don’t do it because you want others to look at you and feel that acceptance)
I think his point was that people talk so much about being positive and happy with themselves, but if you don't know the reasons behind your insecurities and toxic behavior, than you're just staging about being positive. Being happy with yourself is about knowing what makes you happy, what makes you sad, what makes you angry/insecure. So you have to discover yourself, only then you will be able to deal with your emotions and maintain a happy, healthy relationship with yourself. But most people don't do that, they just keep saying they're happy while ignoring their inner problems instead of dealing with them.
We’re blk Dee so it’s dangerous to let our kids be “free”. They’re already born a threat so we have to teach them some manners, compliance, etc IF they want to be humanized but as far as the school system. I hate it... my kid only have 1 15 minute recess and the rest of it is time in the classroom.
Exactly we're already a "threat" it's sad how we have to "train" our babies. Some train their black babies to be fearful of the police when we shouldn't. if we give into fear we give them our power.
Yeah I do think we all need rules or at least the ability to obey or behave a certain way. I mean, the reason why we distinguish ourselves from other species, besides the obvious, is by our ability to critically think. That means, that we should be capable of deciding and understanding when and when to not behave or act a certain way.
So true. That first lady is an example of having "that" privilege. She can allow her kids to be unruly and test authority without having the fear of them being arrested or shot. smh
The one about the kid thing is so true. Society glamorizes having children so much to where people who can’t have children feel incomplete and useless. I know a woman who can’t have children and I’ve seen the effects that seeing families have on her. The weird thing is she never wanted kids when she was younger but through people always asking her “whEn ArE yOu HavINg KiDs” 🙄she got super insecure and it ate at her happiness and now she’s depressed.
There are people who say girls are little heartbreakers too. The older members of my family say it all the time about my niece saying things like “She’s going to break some hearts.”
I agree on respect and in no way challenging your parenting do you..but why is it so bad uo ask questions? If the questions arent rude and its curiosity. I just feel this society loves us to be compliant without question which is why we raise our kids this way not really healthy..but in the work world if your to opinionated they will most likely fire you. But that doesn't lead to real change
@@lelelew2735 he can ask anything he want all day. I give him all the freedom he wants and needs for example he chose his own colors for his room and he painted it himself, and we have (grown up) discussions like why he needs to go to bed at 7 and not 9 like his uncle🤦♀️ I let him be creative in every way I can. But when I say imran stop it you are being disrespectful to others he stops without questioning because he knows that respect to others is important. I tought him the "basics" from a young age. I think that kids need to be kids but they have to know their boundaries.
@@baby28girl that's good parenting a balance alot of parents dont know balance and take discipline to the extreme. Like the old way to raise kids were to not let them speak if they spoke back to express their opinion they would get scolded or a slap. That's unhealthy because in the real world people take advantage of someone without a voice or opinion
@@baby28girl This the one..even tho i agree with the "kids should be able to express themselves" thing there is a certain level of respect and discipline tht must be taught period. cause ive seen tht parents who dont teach their kids the importance of discipline their kids turn out to be disrespectful.
My mom taught me to shut up and it broke my self esteem. She told me everyday I was worthless if I didn't do better and when I did better she'd say "okay that's what you're supposed to do" so I actually agree with the first one, but I understand not wanting misbehaved children as well. But there's a difference between a misbehaved child and a child with no sense of self.
8:05 His point was, what is the intention behind doing all the meditation growth etc is it just to fit in, or for an ex, cause that’s toxic rather than just doing it cause you really love and accept yourself
I'm curious what it would be like if we all became individuals lol because i get his point and hes right to a certain extent,but we all are going to do things to fit in it's just human nature. It's just how you use it that's the issue are you using this new lifestyle to differentiate yourself from " those" people and trying to boost ego and feel special always commenting how woke and together you are loudly so others can know your doing better. Or are you giving off positive energy and inspiring others with actions to maybe do the same. But even the guy in the video uses trend phrases so in a way he was even trying to fit in.
My mom and dad would whoop me, yell at me and insult me for the slightest thing, always telling me to apologize and not talk back Now look at me. I say sorry for everything whether or not I was in the wrong. I'm timid and have social anxiety, I rarely talk back or have my own opinion and BOOM depression. And they have the nerve to ask why I'm like this.
Hi I'm a little younger but I understand you I get whooped to but not as much I never talk back and I have a hard time sharing my opinion on stuff and making descions I know exactly how you feel
I think the self help guy was basically saying that people want to reach a perfect life and so they push themselves in the gym ,in their work... But don't deal with the underlying issue that facilitate those negative behaviours in the first place and so they end up hurting themselves trying to reach this impossible ideal under the veil of self help
I completely agree with the lady at the beginning. There's a great difference between discipline and obedience. Being an "obedient" child growing up meant for many kids that whatever abuse they suffered at the hand of adults in their lives was justified.
( As a mom of four boys - loud boys) I think the first mom was trying to say that we want our kids to grow up and not just be robots. But most kids who are in public schools are put into boxes or forced to fit into spaces that they don't actually fit in. And when that's the case you do have kids who can act out. My house was rarely quiet when my boys were younger. It was rarely clean during most days. But maybe what she should have said was it's about finding a balance where you children do learn respect and responsibility because they can't do it on their own. They have to be taught ( So I don't agree with her on that part). But I do think it's important to teach your kids how to use their voice. I grew up in a "sub culture" - because of course my culture is African American, but in my corner of the world, I grew up where using your voice could get you a whipping. An adult said sit down and you took a second too long in their opinion could get you in trouble. Speaking up for yourself could be considered back talk, there was no "explaining" anything once an adult said you did something. Maybe that's not the life many others had, but it was mine. So when I had my boys, I wanted them to be able to use their voice. So no matter who it made angry - any other adult, my own mom, their teacher - I took the time to listen to my sons. To stick to the theme of this video - I think it's toxic to tell boys that it's not okay for them to cry. Or that they have to "man up" and "stop being a girl". I think when that happens you end up with a lot of angry young men who don't know how to use their words to tell people how they feel so they use their fists or worse.
Toxic relationships are normalized and they shouldn’t what is cute and fun about a guy dragging you out a club in front of everybody that is embarrassing 😂
The self love clip I believe was trying to bring awareness to the essence of shadow work which is digging deep within yourself to pull out the past traumas and understanding why you do the things you do. So yes your interpretation at the end was correct (in my opinion) because people really do only focus on the light and not the dark which is toxic because then that self love journey is fake and pointless.
1:53 If her child slaps her I'll bet she'll be like "they was just expressing themselves". Like the reason you tell children what to do is do that they don't become spoiled bad children. Okay, yes your child deserves and opinion and a voice but they still need to learn manners and rules.
@@hers6694 if you just gonna have kids to let them boss you around because you think it's "freedom" then don't have kids. Yes I agree whooping your child over everything is not good. However there has to be a line and you have to have discipline. If this is the new way of parenting then I guess I have old school good parents. I'm glad in not being raised by parents who let me do and say anything and everything. Just saying
You clearly didn't get what she was trying to say. She didn't say "let your kids hit you1!1!". The point is that they shouldn't be made to be servants that only listen and do what you say. They should be able to voice their mind and opinion as long as it's respectful. If y'all are having an argument and they're trying to express their frustration/disagreement don't tell them to "stop talking back" or shut them down saying they're being disrespectful. Hear what they have to say and come to a place where you can reconcile.
Some people dont deserve to have kids having kids is just not about buying the cutest outfits its about making sure ur child has the best life and always feels loved😌
One of the toxic things that is glamorize on social media: filming cases of children's trauma and then posting those short videos because they want "to educate". Within the past two years, I saw videos of children being traumatized because their parents chose to show police brutality videos and/or deep topics.
Part 2 of what Dee was talking abt at the start: Assuming ppl’s (especially children’s) sexuality and socialising them to think only straight ppl are normal is very damaging when they are actually not straight.
Dee, I definitely agree with you on the top vs bottoms thing. I think it needs to be addressed early on because I'm not about to waste a few weeks or month getting to know someone just to find out we're not sexually compatible. Ion got time for all that.
The self help guy was saying that its ok to improve yourself but the very first thing is to understand and come to grips with what it was that made you lose your self esteem, your self worth, what caused your trauma in the first place. It was More like a face your fears/demons statement first. His message, It didnt come across well. You cannot improve yourself if you don't know what you are improving.
For the self help one he was pretty much saying that it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. And people need to address the shadow side of their personalities which deals with past traumas and insecurities and such. If we’re trying to be healthy and balanced people we need to work on both the positive and negative parts of ourselves. That’s how we continue to heal. True self love and self care isn’t always beautiful, but it’s a journey worth having with all it’s ups and downs.
The first woman doesnt seem to realize that there is different types of way to raise your children if the child doesnt seem to voice their opinion the way the parents raised them is "Authoritarian" and the way she raised her children is Permissive. 👍🏽
@@AnalynC1229 it doesnt have to be authoritarian it can be authorative. Same I like well behaved kids it doesnt mean they are told to not express themselves. If children dont havr boundaries when they are in school or in public they wont know to deal with a society or rules around them
School isn't toxic..that lady should probably homeschool. You can't let kids do what they want. You can't be their friend. They need SOME boundaries. The same rules apply in jobs..limited breaks ect..I don't see how its "toxic"
Yeah I 100% agree cuz she is not being their mom by simply taking care of them. It’s why children need to be raised. Her kids will end acting entitled and disrespectful without rules
School is just a legal babysitter. All they do is train you to be a worker, so you can pay tax and be an “asset” to the company your employed under. Some school are toxic and have a toxic way of teaching. However they not train them to be independent-thinker or company owners, they training them to be an employee and run up debt.
@@babycakez8070 At school I learned to count, so cashiers and businesses can't take advantage of me, I learned history and geography so I have something sensible to contribute to conversations about politics and such. I learned language and writing so I can calmly put my thoughts into words and/or write a letter that is clear and to the point, instead of trying to convince people by raising my voice a little more than them
Yeah I knew from the get go that the office life is NOT for me 😬 sitting and staring at the same 4 walls of a tiny cubicle prison, wearing a suit dress everyday, wearing a professional smile EVERY DAY, and staring at beige walls with artificial lights beaming down on you....Absolutely tf not. AND I'm being payed dirt? I refuse.
@@ModestManger21 all depends, see I don't really mind doing it if it's a last resort. BUT, If I have an option to do literally anything else then I guess that's what's gonna happen. If you really try and put in genuine effort, anything is possible, even working at a job you truly enjoy.
One thing i truly despise is when parents put expectations on their kids. Like my parents had these expectations of me growing up and getting this nice job and marrying a man and having kids. They don’t even stop and think like “Hey, maybe this is not what she wants”. So now as I’m growing up and learning what i like to do and who and what I’m into I’m met with these expectations that doesn’t necessarily match up with my path, and for every decision i make that they didn’t have in mind for me i get yelled at.
Hé was saying that when we do self care it’s not only about eating right or getting fit or reading books. It’s also about developing a better you, your character, know what your triggers and flaws are and find ways to improve on responding better to your triggers or making a change to some of your flaws. I see it all the time. Ppl get better jobs, material things, fitness but still have a shitty character
Agree on your first point. I have also heard adults say weird shit like, "oh, he looks so grown!", "he looks like a grown man/adult" about literal toddlers. Like huh? Let kids be kids, gross.
His point is that things like exercising, affirmations, etc., while helpful, do not heal the wounds that you have. A huge portion of the spiritual/growth community is focusing only on the how to think and feel positive without wanting to address how you got to where you are right now. You need to question and dive into what is the root cause of those patterns and dynamics in order to heal them. Otherwise you will find yourself repeating the same patterns. Shadow Work as mentioned in the video, is the process of going into your subconscious to gain awareness of the wounds and beliefs that are impacting your life so you can heal them.
I see her point on the overly compliant child. I have a well-mannered child but he also knows how to ask you difficult questions and is verya independent. You have to strike a balance.
Toxic: Asking women when they’re gonna have children and if they have kids, when are you going to have another... It never happens to men.and if you say you choose not to have kids some people take offense. Like, not every woman wants kids, not every couple desire a child, and sometimes a man wants a child more than the woman. Everyone is different in their desires. Ex. I have 2 boys and I am constantly asked when I plan to have a girl. I’m not having another child. My sister does not want kids at all. She has never had that desire. She gets asked if she’s ever gonna have a child on a regular basis. It’s annoying. 🛑 stop asking.
Thank you so much for this comment ! 🙌🏾 I rarely comment but I was happy to read your comment so I'm 27 and I get that alot too. Some people ask me that and don't even ask how I am doing. I'm so tired of it. This pressure is also harming to those that can't have kids. I just hate when people specially women tear us down for not wanting or having kids. Alot of people asked me to be a godmother and I had to learn to say no. The "you need to make your parents become grandparents" is toxic as hell too, that's not a reason to have a child. I just never dream of having one, I have alot of love in me, I spread kindness and help to anyone and any child (I know) around starting from a smile to a hug and advices. Plus not everyone can be parents, I know people that want kids but hate kids and treat people like trash. I've got amazing parents thanks to God, had a great childhood but never wish of having a family. I have cousins that can't have kids or had kids and get that alot too. People need to learn that it is not okay to ask those questions period ! I'm consitently explaining myslef why I don't and why they shouldn't ask. I wish you the best in life and also to every woman/man that want kids or not. Peace and Love ❤
6:46 bruh i felt that ian never heard it verbalized but it make total sense i used to HATE it when ppl would be like “i can’t see u as a top” or “u definitely a bottom” based off my appearance/height/ my s/o like it shouldn’t matter 1st and 2nd that just comes across as “oh u not the man in the relationship” or “they the sub one” WE THE SAME GENDER we equals ain’t no “man” in our relationship 💀
That's facts I was talking with some guy when I used to go to school and he was arguing that his parent hitting him got him not to misbehave. And now I would have had a way better response to that. That's teaching your kids through fear. They're Only doing the 'right' thing out of fear. When you get them to do it out of Love everything changes
I'm an immigrant myself and the whole African or Indian parents hitting their kids is not something we should romanticizing about. Like the person said in the video its abuse, an abuse tht leaves scars on ur physical and mental health for the rest of ur llife. I know people who are traumatized from it and when people make tht kind of videos as something to brag about , it pisses me off. I would also like to say the star signs are also toxic too, I don't mind people discussing about them as a fun subject but when u base ur whole personality on tht sign like saying I did this because I'm a cancer or she/he did this because they're Gemini, it just sounds super weird and toxic to me.
But the top bottom thing. Its not so much about what your sexual position it, but its how lots of people think that should dictate anything else, i.e. your mannerisms, who should pay for dates, etc. Some try to heteonormalize gay interactions by transplanting it to "tops vs bottoms" and with that comes a lot of misogyny (bottom shaming). So I get what he was trying to say.
What you said in the beginning is exactly what I had to explain to an older man 🤦🏾♀️ people see my sons hair and automatically say that like NO I'm not raising no fuck boy
Don’t agree with the “well behaved kids” lady. Parents can be proud of their quite/well behaving kids. Just because kid is not an asshole and respects older people that doesn’t mean parents don’t allow them to express themselves. Shouting and not caring for their people is not “expressing yourself” anyway sooo
If the kid is so quiet that they feel they cannot speak to their own parents about situations or always have to act a certain way rather than being their true self, I don’t think that’s a good thing. Imo parents should only really be proud if they have a good relationship with their child, one that doesn’t assert some form of power dominance but invites mutual respectfulness.
@@xavigoeswild6827 I think you took it a little too far. I was talking about just being quiet in public, not the whole childhood traumas at home. I was a quiet kid, bc my mom explained that it’s rude to scream and do crazy shit in public. And I’m completely fine with her right now(always has been fine). It’s not that hard to teach your kids manners. Some parents just don’t want to
@@marimayn ahh I see, yeah I kinda of guessed but was just adding onto your point in case we were on the same page. I am and have always been a quiet kid in public and have a good relationship with my mum so I agree with what you're saying. I interpreted the lady's point as children being able to communicate with their parents freely without some form of fear, but maybe I was wrong, idk.
Yikes, the first lady. I agree with her up to saying that children shouldn't be obedient. She should've said I believe in obedience, but not being completely submissive.
8:55 what he was trying to say is that people like doing just enough self help to be trendy, but usually you have way more psychological hinderances rather than physical.
8:01 I don't think he explained that well. I think shadow work is definitely important and is apart of self growth, they go hand in hand. It is important to uncover past trauma and toxic behavior within yourself in order to change them. Repressing your emotions to give the illusion that everything is fine is toxic.
i think the guy’s point about the whole “self help” thing is that it doesn’t address mental health. if you really, REALLY want to help yourself, you need to work on your psyche. self help goes much, much, MUCH deeper than the surface.
So many people believe it's ok to hit, slap, spank and use that to discipline their kids and even defends their actions by saying it's apart of their culture or how they were raised and they don't see how that's abuse. It really does anger me how so many say that's normal and then they laugh about it because I was abused physically and verbally when I was a kid by my mom until I fought back to defend myself since she had me pinned to the floor and she would only abuse me whenever I was left alone with her.
i understand what the first person is saying because i've been taught to ask before i eat something and whenever we have food and nobody is around to tell me i can eat i just wait until i can ask or dont eat at all
It's toxic to tell your kids they can't leave the table until they finished all their food. This leads to overeating and a lack of self-control. They are half our size. They aren't meant to eat the same proportions as you. If they don't want to eat their veggies, make them eat them first before they can go on to the rest of the meal. If they genuinely aren't eating enough, you need to focus on WHY they're not eating. If they are emotionally distressed, and they don't want to eat, forcing them to eat will turn them into emotional eaters. Y'all are setting your kids up to be OBESE. That shit is not okay.
Yes!! Dee preach on the Top and Bottom shit!!! It's a waste if time then that's when they start to invite someone else in the bedroom and that doesn't always work out
Another problem with parents letting their children express themselves is, children don't know what they want or need. That's why your a "parent". To guide them to the right path.
What do I think is glamorized but extremely toxic...coeararly toxic relationships but let me tell you what I mean,like oh yeh he/she spoils me so Ima stay with them but at the same time he/she is whoopin yo a$$ behind closed doors and it’s gotten so glamorized that it’s in songs and that girl who said “if I don’t have a man who shoots me in my feet then he don’t love me” like it’s disgusting how in the same breath you can call these people HIGH VALUE but in every aspect of life they’re a bum,a dustie and this is why I choose to educate myself and I’m not going into depth but stuff like this makes me want to start my own podcast or something bc ppl need to notice the foolery going on around us
I think the self help guy was trying to say that people get on the self help train for the trend of it but don't do that actual work ..the uncomfortable part of growth. For example, posting on insta about self care trends like mediation and yoga but not addressing your trauma/ toxicity. And that first lady was just tripping because of her bad parenting. Raising kids with no boundaries or structure is also highly toxic sis
@@browncookies8048 You can live your life regretting shit. But I know that God loves me no matter what. If you don't agree, that's your own opinion. But don't call me stupid because I think differently than you, stupid.
@@King-zx4qr Uum I didn’t call you stupid. Your statement was stupid. Even tho God loves you , you still have to repent. I really didn’t mean to call you stupid. You are so smart. God loves you alright but Do you love God enough to turn away from your sins cuz God hate sin? If someone loves you, you shouldn’t take advantage and cheat , lie or steal from them. You should show them the same love.
That first woman just be taking. Yes kids should be able to express themselves but if I shouldn't have to tell my kid more than once to do something and let them spek to me anyhow 🙅🏾♀️
I think dude was saying we glamorous the comfort/pretty parts of self care but people are rarely doing the dirty work of looking at their worst selves and doing the hard work it takes to remove trauma. He was circling the point but never quite got there.
Yeah what that person said about the tops, bottoms and vers being toxic made no sense. Some people are just bottoms and some people are just tops. Not everyone is versatile sexually. I was in a relationship and it just didn’t work because we were both bottoms. Neither of us wanted to top. 😂
She gave an entire speech defending her bad parenting she feels insecure about, I can't wait for her kids to be teenagers I wonder if she will feel the same way. Children should have a voice I agree but they also need to respect authority her kids will find themselves in dangerous situations if she don't switch her parenting won't be able to keep a job navigate social norms because they will have no control of self
9:48 I can get what he's coming from and to stop thinking it's ok to let someone be mean to you but they expect us to be perfect or be successful early or be an adult when I dont know how to be .
I love you for that first statement you made about little boys people never say that shit to little girls and it's fucking weird . And I have. Kids under 7 that I only have to tell 1 time to pick something up and they do it with no questions because they have respect for this house and they see me respecting the house and cleaning things up.
Well behavied doesn't mean they can't express themselves though lol. People treat they kids like that and be surprised to find out they ain't shit when they get older
The first one, ppl are just sensitive wimps. Kids need structure and discipline. My sis was a teacher and gave her kids freedom like that and a girl threw a chair. She got it on video, the girl wouldn't stop. How bad it is when teachers are allowed to film kids on their phone and show the parents? I had no idea that was allowed but it is. Teachers r allowed to video kids if they misbehave. Give them structure and discipline shit
People do say it about little girls though. It's usually like " you gone have to watch her". Watch her for what? As if the "ugly" ones not out here thotting 🤣🤣🤣
What’s toxic is when a woman touches another woman inappropriately and use the excuse “we have the same parts”.Most women been sexually assaulted by other women and don’t even realize it.🤦🏾♂️
That actually happened to me ;-; i was being assaulted in 7th grade but i thought it was ok bc she was a girl and my friend but i did not give her permission i just told her to stop in the most nicest ways and sometimes i would ignore bc she wouldnt stop but now me being older and in high now i understood that what she was doing was rlly messed up and im glad she grew from that and we are older now.
@@maralovely8100 Yeah this happens to a lot of women but women don’t wanna talk about it.
That is very true! I am sure , I have been in this situation multiple times.
Facts 👏🏾
So true👏🏾👏🏾
i hate people romanticizing toxic relationships
Twitter/instagram would like to have a talk with you
Yes and also celebrities relationships we have to stop glamorizing that because we don’t know what’s going on Behind the scenes
same. Sleeping with each other and hanging out are what a lot of people think those are now
Yes I hate TV shows & movies that romanticize a toxic or abusive relationship!
This is the one!
I think it’s also weird how it’s okay for women to call little boys their “little boyfriend” but... anyways
my aunt did that shit it was so weird and uncomfortable
@@annalouise3251 yes, it’s so weird
I love my grandma, but she used to call me her "boyfriend" because I'm taller than her. She hasn't called me that in a long time tho so we good now.
so many of my family friends did this to me and i didn’t know it was weird until i got older
Women did that it me when I was little I was uncomfortable as hell just made me feel weird.
I must admit, going from elementary, middle and high school where you have to ask permission to do anything and then going to college...big difference. It took awhile to realize that you really could just get up to get a drink, or go to the bathroom or take a call without permission. Professors just dont want the distraction of someone raising a hand, you're an adult, just get up and go.
oml you can rlly do that im a freshmen and will soon go to college :DDDDDDD oml why i would be that one student still raising there hand in college lol
@@maralovely8100 lmaoo that was me my first year of college 😂
@@milesmorales6148 lmfao
I believe that it is important for kids to have structure and slowly pull them into being an adult like how it is now.
@@alwaysannoyedforever518 I think it would be more important to lesson the discipline and focus more on the education.
They could teach money managment,tax knowledge, bring back cooking class and biology and sex education ( now it's a watered down version)
You know stuff you should know in the real world now they just take individuality away from students and only care about test scores for funding for schools.
I think the self love guy was trying to make a point about how people try to better themselves with things like fitness and mental stability without focusing on their faults so then they would start repeating the same mistakes over and over again
From what I've seen most people start these journeys because they realise the negative experiences that keep repeating in their lives or stagnant situations etc. I could be wrong, but we normally want to fix what we deem 'broken' and I know most humans are aware that they can never fix everything. That guy left me confused to be honest.
I thought he was saying that it is great to focus on the negative part rather than always trying to be positive.
Ppl usually gravitate towards taking care of themselves after an extended period of not being content with ones situations and understanding ones own mistake. Ppl decide to workout and go on diets after realising Thier bad eating habits ppl read books, meditate, pick up a hobby to get rid of stress or mental issues and etc... That dudes point really didn't make any sense. He was just saying things to say things.
@@Aloysius_OHare Isn't the journey focused on the negative part already, at least in fixing it so to speak? I see the "being positive" as the means to an end, not so? Anyway to each his own, I still didn't get his point.
He was saying that people try to change what others see of you (superficial things that are internalized) rather than what we see in ourselves. Personally, I’m so honest with myself that I can’t even fake making progress. I have to take baby steps or do a deep dive.
That last one is exactly how I've always felt and why I dont plan to have kids least anytime soon. Too many people are having kids when they aren't ready physically, emotionally, financially or while they are still dealing with their internal struggles. The generational trauma needs to stop
100000%
Yes I agree 1000% I will know when I'm ready to have kids and trust me its not now
An extremely toxic aspect of modern culture is the get rich quick scheme life. People online sometimes think that being able to lie to multiple people and have them believe you is a strength, rather than a warning sign for mental illness. Being willing to con people, and sometimes even loved ones, out of their hard-earned money, should be seen and called out for the moral abomination that it is, immediately.
Smh 🤦🏿 your so right. This why me and my brothers relationship is so screwed up.
I mean not everyone is gonna have the same moral, I would walk over strangers if it will save me, or keep me from suffering. I pride myself over self preservation, no matter how selfish might be. You will need to lie in the world, might as well get good at it.
yes. omg. yessssssss to this
@@satoatsuji8392 that's not good you dont need to lie it's that you want/dont mind
@@kindsplash21 Everyone lies, so you're being a hypocrite. Second, you can tell me what is good, we have definitely morals. They don't come universally.
As an 18 year old everytime I get into wit my parents I always have something to say because they’re gonna run with a false narrative of me. I always reply and defend myself. They’re African so they believe I should be in a child’s place and never reply. Even when they ask. So I made sure if I had kids if they ever get in a predicament I listen to exactly what they say so we can figure out what the root of the problem is instead of shutting them down and saying they’re being disrespectful. I want them to feel comfortable enough to to speak to me.
THIS! i grew up in a hispanic household and my mom insults me and holds me to a higher standard than my sister just because i'm older and when i say something back she tells me i'm being disrespectful and that i need to respect her because she's my mom and she's older. That's not how it works. You give respect to earn respect. She also tells me to shut up when i tell her something's bothering me because she claims she has it worse. I'm not saying that mine is worse, i'm just saying i'm struggling. So i told myself that when i have kids i'll make sure to listen to them and their struggles and help them and love them no matter what and to not hold them to certain standard because of the order i gave birth to them. I'm constantly being bashed because i don't know how to do certain things and because of my age because my mom feels the need to tell everyone that she learned to cook when she was 10. it breaks me and i've been feeling suicidal for a really long time. I can't wait to leave the house and never return. She favorites my sister so my sister can take care of her when she needs her, i'm out.
@@gabrielamorel7234 girl are you sure you not talking about my mom? She favorites the fuck outta my lil sister too but claims she loves us all. I have a friend who has a close relationship with her mom and has always been close with her since she’s the only girl and oldest. All of a sudden out of the damn fucking sick riding blue my mom wants to get closer. But she only talks about her issues and wants you to bring up an issue. I keep telling that woman that I don’t got beef wit nobody and that I’m coo. Jus a lil stressed but I can handled it. She got mad and told my dad I was mad disrespectful. And when she says we can talk to her about anything that’s jus on her own time. We want to have a normal conversation not every damn aspect of our lives is an issue goddamit. I don’t know what she fucking wants. Cuz I’ve confided in her thrice and she’s used all of them against but expects me to run to her to solve my problems. Nah I. Coo you gon tell ya mom and ya dad and MY dad. Fuck no.
I was babysitting my little pieces and nephews, and they wanted to have candy for breakfast and lunch. I listened to them carefully, and realized they had a point, and let them have all the candy, ice cream and sweets they wanted for diner and breakfast. Children are really wise. I also let them watch tv till after midnight, because they articulated their opinions and wishes so well.
@@warpnin3 you make no damn sense and have proved nothing. Gtfo the comments with your weird ass.
Exactly especially these African aunties they always have something rude to say about you then expect you be respectful to them
I've hated when people say " I'm a tóxica" as if it's a cute thing. Romanticizing a toxic relationship is not cute and makes other people believe that it's normal when instead you should never have to put up with a toxic relationship with no body
I think the self health guy meant everyone sees the self health, self love thing, as physical, but they need to dig deeper than trying to exercise, and eating healthier, but get to the root of why you want to do these things, get to the root of your insecurities, work on your mental the same way you’re trying to work on your physical, because if you don’t then you’re going to remain on the same cycle of always trying to “fix” yourself. (Also, like do this for yourself, don’t do it because you want others to look at you and feel that acceptance)
I think his point was that people talk so much about being positive and happy with themselves, but if you don't know the reasons behind your insecurities and toxic behavior, than you're just staging about being positive. Being happy with yourself is about knowing what makes you happy, what makes you sad, what makes you angry/insecure. So you have to discover yourself, only then you will be able to deal with your emotions and maintain a happy, healthy relationship with yourself. But most people don't do that, they just keep saying they're happy while ignoring their inner problems instead of dealing with them.
Some people think being happy and distracted is the same thing.
Carla was PREACHING!!! I rocking back and forth, shaking my head and clapping, like this was a church service👏🏾👏🏾😩
We’re blk Dee so it’s dangerous to let our kids be “free”. They’re already born a threat so we have to teach them some manners, compliance, etc IF they want to be humanized but as far as the school system. I hate it... my kid only have 1 15 minute recess and the rest of it is time in the classroom.
Exactly we're already a "threat" it's sad how we have to "train" our babies.
Some train their black babies to be fearful of the police when we shouldn't.
if we give into fear we give them our power.
Yeah I do think we all need rules or at least the ability to obey or behave a certain way. I mean, the reason why we distinguish ourselves from other species, besides the obvious, is by our ability to critically think. That means, that we should be capable of deciding and understanding when and when to not behave or act a certain way.
We do need rules. Just not being overbearing.
So true. That first lady is an example of having "that" privilege. She can allow her kids to be unruly and test authority without having the fear of them being arrested or shot. smh
@@JoeyEnn Right! When I saw it, I said “This must only apply to white kids”.
The one about the kid thing is so true. Society glamorizes having children so much to where people who can’t have children feel incomplete and useless. I know a woman who can’t have children and I’ve seen the effects that seeing families have on her. The weird thing is she never wanted kids when she was younger but through people always asking her “whEn ArE yOu HavINg KiDs” 🙄she got super insecure and it ate at her happiness and now she’s depressed.
There are people who say girls are little heartbreakers too. The older members of my family say it all the time about my niece saying things like “She’s going to break some hearts.”
KARLA SAID NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH
My kid has a lot of freedom but when I say stop he stops without questions
I call it parenting ...
I agree on respect and in no way challenging your parenting do you..but why is it so bad uo ask questions? If the questions arent rude and its curiosity.
I just feel this society loves us to be compliant without question which is why we raise our kids this way not really healthy..but in the work world if your to opinionated they will most likely fire you. But that doesn't lead to real change
@@lelelew2735 he can ask anything he want all day.
I give him all the freedom he wants and needs for example he chose his own colors for his room and he painted it himself, and we have (grown up) discussions like why he needs to go to bed at 7 and not 9 like his uncle🤦♀️ I let him be creative in every way I can.
But when I say imran stop it you are being disrespectful to others he stops without questioning because he knows that respect to others is important.
I tought him the "basics" from a young age.
I think that kids need to be kids but they have to know their boundaries.
@@baby28girl that's good parenting a balance alot of parents dont know balance and take discipline to the extreme.
Like the old way to raise kids were to not let them speak if they spoke back to express their opinion they would get scolded or a slap. That's unhealthy because in the real world people take advantage of someone without a voice or opinion
@@baby28girl This the one..even tho i agree with the "kids should be able to express themselves" thing there is a certain level of respect and discipline tht must be taught period. cause ive seen tht parents who dont teach their kids the importance of discipline their kids turn out to be disrespectful.
My mom taught me to shut up and it broke my self esteem. She told me everyday I was worthless if I didn't do better and when I did better she'd say "okay that's what you're supposed to do" so I actually agree with the first one, but I understand not wanting misbehaved children as well. But there's a difference between a misbehaved child and a child with no sense of self.
Ikr
"Kids are bad, though." right off the bat, Dee!!! LOL!
8:05 His point was, what is the intention behind doing all the meditation growth etc is it just to fit in, or for an ex, cause that’s toxic rather than just doing it cause you really love and accept yourself
I'm curious what it would be like if we all became individuals lol because i get his point and hes right to a certain extent,but we all are going to do things to fit in it's just human nature. It's just how you use it that's the issue are you using this new lifestyle to differentiate yourself from " those" people and trying to boost ego and feel special always commenting how woke and together you are loudly so others can know your doing better. Or are you giving off positive energy and inspiring others with actions to maybe do the same. But even the guy in the video uses trend phrases so in a way he was even trying to fit in.
My mom and dad would whoop me, yell at me and insult me for the slightest thing, always telling me to apologize and not talk back
Now look at me. I say sorry for everything whether or not I was in the wrong. I'm timid and have social anxiety, I rarely talk back or have my own opinion and BOOM depression. And they have the nerve to ask why I'm like this.
Hi I'm a little younger but I understand you I get whooped to but not as much I never talk back and I have a hard time sharing my opinion on stuff and making descions I know exactly how you feel
@@kindsplash21 honestly, how are we supposed to grow as a person if they control almost every single
thing
Same but my parents tell me to grow out of it and tell me to respect them
I think the self help guy was basically saying that people want to reach a perfect life and so they push themselves in the gym ,in their work... But don't deal with the underlying issue that facilitate those negative behaviours in the first place and so they end up hurting themselves trying to reach this impossible ideal under the veil of self help
I completely agree with the lady at the beginning. There's a great difference between discipline and obedience. Being an "obedient" child growing up meant for many kids that whatever abuse they suffered at the hand of adults in their lives was justified.
I hate when people think scamming is a good thing like you literally just ruined someone else's life for your own self gain. Smh
( As a mom of four boys - loud boys) I think the first mom was trying to say that we want our kids to grow up and not just be robots. But most kids who are in public schools are put into boxes or forced to fit into spaces that they don't actually fit in. And when that's the case you do have kids who can act out. My house was rarely quiet when my boys were younger. It was rarely clean during most days. But maybe what she should have said was it's about finding a balance where you children do learn respect and responsibility because they can't do it on their own. They have to be taught ( So I don't agree with her on that part). But I do think it's important to teach your kids how to use their voice. I grew up in a "sub culture" - because of course my culture is African American, but in my corner of the world, I grew up where using your voice could get you a whipping. An adult said sit down and you took a second too long in their opinion could get you in trouble. Speaking up for yourself could be considered back talk, there was no "explaining" anything once an adult said you did something.
Maybe that's not the life many others had, but it was mine. So when I had my boys, I wanted them to be able to use their voice. So no matter who it made angry - any other adult, my own mom, their teacher - I took the time to listen to my sons.
To stick to the theme of this video - I think it's toxic to tell boys that it's not okay for them to cry. Or that they have to "man up" and "stop being a girl". I think when that happens you end up with a lot of angry young men who don't know how to use their words to tell people how they feel so they use their fists or worse.
Toxic relationships are normalized and they shouldn’t what is cute and fun about a guy dragging you out a club in front of everybody that is embarrassing 😂
I’m crying 😭 why was this so specific
The self love clip I believe was trying to bring awareness to the essence of shadow work which is digging deep within yourself to pull out the past traumas and understanding why you do the things you do. So yes your interpretation at the end was correct (in my opinion) because people really do only focus on the light and not the dark which is toxic because then that self love journey is fake and pointless.
1:53
If her child slaps her I'll bet she'll be like "they was just expressing themselves". Like the reason you tell children what to do is do that they don't become spoiled bad children. Okay, yes your child deserves and opinion and a voice but they still need to learn manners and rules.
@@hers6694 if you just gonna have kids to let them boss you around because you think it's "freedom" then don't have kids. Yes I agree whooping your child over everything is not good. However there has to be a line and you have to have discipline. If this is the new way of parenting then I guess I have old school good parents. I'm glad in not being raised by parents who let me do and say anything and everything. Just saying
Lmaoo not slapping bih I’m done
Right? Kids nowadays have horrible public behavior. At least save it for home.
@@sunnc it's happened before
You clearly didn't get what she was trying to say. She didn't say "let your kids hit you1!1!". The point is that they shouldn't be made to be servants that only listen and do what you say. They should be able to voice their mind and opinion as long as it's respectful. If y'all are having an argument and they're trying to express their frustration/disagreement don't tell them to "stop talking back" or shut them down saying they're being disrespectful. Hear what they have to say and come to a place where you can reconcile.
Some people dont deserve to have kids having kids is just not about buying the cutest outfits its about making sure ur child has the best life and always feels loved😌
Yess😖
One of the toxic things that is glamorize on social media: filming cases of children's trauma and then posting those short videos because they want "to educate". Within the past two years, I saw videos of children being traumatized because their parents chose to show police brutality videos and/or deep topics.
The Lady ranting about office culture was so passionate! She’s also right
Part 2 of what Dee was talking abt at the start: Assuming ppl’s (especially children’s) sexuality and socialising them to think only straight ppl are normal is very damaging when they are actually not straight.
Yess
Dee, I definitely agree with you on the top vs bottoms thing. I think it needs to be addressed early on because I'm not about to waste a few weeks or month getting to know someone just to find out we're not sexually compatible. Ion got time for all that.
The self help guy was saying that its ok to improve yourself but the very first thing is to understand and come to grips with what it was that made you lose your self esteem, your self worth, what caused your trauma in the first place. It was More like a face your fears/demons statement first. His message, It didnt come across well. You cannot improve yourself if you don't know what you are improving.
'it's not culture it's abuse' absolutely
3:51 reminded me of the quote “honesty without kindness is brutality
and kindness without honesty is manipulation”
For the self help one he was pretty much saying that it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. And people need to address the shadow side of their personalities which deals with past traumas and insecurities and such. If we’re trying to be healthy and balanced people we need to work on both the positive and negative parts of ourselves. That’s how we continue to heal. True self love and self care isn’t always beautiful, but it’s a journey worth having with all it’s ups and downs.
The first woman doesnt seem to realize that there is different types of way to raise your children if the child doesnt seem to voice their opinion the way the parents raised them is "Authoritarian" and the way she raised her children is Permissive. 👍🏽
I was just thinking same you said, l love seeing well behaved kids
@@AnalynC1229 it doesnt have to be authoritarian it can be authorative. Same I like well behaved kids it doesnt mean they are told to not express themselves. If children dont havr boundaries when they are in school or in public they wont know to deal with a society or rules around them
School isn't toxic..that lady should probably homeschool. You can't let kids do what they want. You can't be their friend. They need SOME boundaries. The same rules apply in jobs..limited breaks ect..I don't see how its "toxic"
Yeah I 100% agree cuz she is not being their mom by simply taking care of them. It’s why children need to be raised. Her kids will end acting entitled and disrespectful without rules
School is just a legal babysitter. All they do is train you to be a worker, so you can pay tax and be an “asset” to the company your employed under. Some school are toxic and have a toxic way of teaching. However they not train them to be independent-thinker or company owners, they training them to be an employee and run up debt.
@@cocalita03 cool
@@babycakez8070 At school I learned to count, so cashiers and businesses can't take advantage of me, I learned history and geography so I have something sensible to contribute to conversations about politics and such. I learned language and writing so I can calmly put my thoughts into words and/or write a letter that is clear and to the point, instead of trying to convince people by raising my voice a little more than them
THAT LAST ONE THOOOOOOO...
I always said people need to go therapy before having children.
Yeah I knew from the get go that the office life is NOT for me 😬 sitting and staring at the same 4 walls of a tiny cubicle prison, wearing a suit dress everyday, wearing a professional smile EVERY DAY, and staring at beige walls with artificial lights beaming down on you....Absolutely tf not. AND I'm being payed dirt? I refuse.
Yea bet you wont say that when u got a family to feed
@@ModestManger21 all depends, see I don't really mind doing it if it's a last resort. BUT, If I have an option to do literally anything else then I guess that's what's gonna happen. If you really try and put in genuine effort, anything is possible, even working at a job you truly enjoy.
One thing i truly despise is when parents put expectations on their kids. Like my parents had these expectations of me growing up and getting this nice job and marrying a man and having kids. They don’t even stop and think like “Hey, maybe this is not what she wants”. So now as I’m growing up and learning what i like to do and who and what I’m into I’m met with these expectations that doesn’t necessarily match up with my path, and for every decision i make that they didn’t have in mind for me i get yelled at.
Hé was saying that when we do self care it’s not only about eating right or getting fit or reading books. It’s also about developing a better you, your character, know what your triggers and flaws are and find ways to improve on responding better to your triggers or making a change to some of your flaws. I see it all the time. Ppl get better jobs, material things, fitness but still have a shitty character
Agree on your first point. I have also heard adults say weird shit like, "oh, he looks so grown!", "he looks like a grown man/adult" about literal toddlers. Like huh? Let kids be kids, gross.
His point is that things like exercising, affirmations, etc., while helpful, do not heal the wounds that you have. A huge portion of the spiritual/growth community is focusing only on the how to think and feel positive without wanting to address how you got to where you are right now. You need to question and dive into what is the root cause of those patterns and dynamics in order to heal them. Otherwise you will find yourself repeating the same patterns. Shadow Work as mentioned in the video, is the process of going into your subconscious to gain awareness of the wounds and beliefs that are impacting your life so you can heal them.
I see her point on the overly compliant child. I have a well-mannered child but he also knows how to ask you difficult questions and is verya independent. You have to strike a balance.
Toxic: Asking women when they’re gonna have children and if they have kids, when are you going to have another... It never happens to men.and if you say you choose not to have kids some people take offense. Like, not every woman wants kids, not every couple desire a child, and sometimes a man wants a child more than the woman. Everyone is different in their desires. Ex. I have 2 boys and I am constantly asked when I plan to have a girl. I’m not having another child. My sister does not want kids at all. She has never had that desire. She gets asked if she’s ever gonna have a child on a regular basis. It’s annoying. 🛑 stop asking.
Men get asked all the time when or why they don’t have kids, cuz ppl used to do it to me all the time
True and not everyone is able to have kids
Thank you so much for this comment ! 🙌🏾 I rarely comment but I was happy to read your comment so I'm 27 and I get that alot too. Some people ask me that and don't even ask how I am doing. I'm so tired of it. This pressure is also harming to those that can't have kids. I just hate when people specially women tear us down for not wanting or having kids.
Alot of people asked me to be a godmother and I had to learn to say no. The "you need to make your parents become grandparents" is toxic as hell too, that's not a reason to have a child. I just never dream of having one, I have alot of love in me, I spread kindness and help to anyone and any child (I know) around starting from a smile to a hug and advices. Plus not everyone can be parents, I know people that want kids but hate kids and treat people like trash. I've got amazing parents thanks to God, had a great childhood but never wish of having a family. I have cousins that can't have kids or had kids and get that alot too. People need to learn that it is not okay to ask those questions period ! I'm consitently explaining myslef why I don't and why they shouldn't ask.
I wish you the best in life and also to every woman/man that want kids or not.
Peace and Love ❤
6:46 bruh i felt that ian never heard it verbalized but it make total sense i used to HATE it when ppl would be like “i can’t see u as a top” or “u definitely a bottom” based off my appearance/height/ my s/o like it shouldn’t matter 1st and 2nd that just comes across as “oh u not the man in the relationship” or “they the sub one” WE THE SAME GENDER we equals ain’t no “man” in our relationship 💀
That's facts I was talking with some guy when I used to go to school and he was arguing that his parent hitting him got him not to misbehave. And now I would have had a way better response to that. That's teaching your kids through fear. They're Only doing the 'right' thing out of fear. When you get them to do it out of Love everything changes
I totally agree with the parent one! It's definitely more abuse than discipline hitting your children.
You look beautiful dee!!!🤩🤩
the heteronormative influence in the lgbtq+ community part, i agreed with so strongly!!!!
The way Dee smiles at 10:00 because she said “having kids” 🤣🤣
I'm an immigrant myself and the whole African or Indian parents hitting their kids is not something we should romanticizing about. Like the person said in the video its abuse, an abuse tht leaves scars on ur physical and mental health for the rest of ur llife. I know people who are traumatized from it and when people make tht kind of videos as something to brag about , it pisses me off. I would also like to say the star signs are also toxic too, I don't mind people discussing about them as a fun subject but when u base ur whole personality on tht sign like saying I did this because I'm a cancer or she/he did this because they're Gemini, it just sounds super weird and toxic to me.
Being a sugar baby. These old men are not going to take care of you just because you're pretty. 😀 Just saying.
But the top bottom thing. Its not so much about what your sexual position it, but its how lots of people think that should dictate anything else, i.e. your mannerisms, who should pay for dates, etc.
Some try to heteonormalize gay interactions by transplanting it to "tops vs bottoms" and with that comes a lot of misogyny (bottom shaming).
So I get what he was trying to say.
What you said in the beginning is exactly what I had to explain to an older man 🤦🏾♀️ people see my sons hair and automatically say that like NO I'm not raising no fuck boy
Don’t agree with the “well behaved kids” lady. Parents can be proud of their quite/well behaving kids. Just because kid is not an asshole and respects older people that doesn’t mean parents don’t allow them to express themselves. Shouting and not caring for their people is not “expressing yourself” anyway sooo
Thank you!
If the kid is so quiet that they feel they cannot speak to their own parents about situations or always have to act a certain way rather than being their true self, I don’t think that’s a good thing. Imo parents should only really be proud if they have a good relationship with their child, one that doesn’t assert some form of power dominance but invites mutual respectfulness.
@@xavigoeswild6827 I think you took it a little too far. I was talking about just being quiet in public, not the whole childhood traumas at home. I was a quiet kid, bc my mom explained that it’s rude to scream and do crazy shit in public. And I’m completely fine with her right now(always has been fine). It’s not that hard to teach your kids manners. Some parents just don’t want to
@@marimayn ahh I see, yeah I kinda of guessed but was just adding onto your point in case we were on the same page. I am and have always been a quiet kid in public and have a good relationship with my mum so I agree with what you're saying. I interpreted the lady's point as children being able to communicate with their parents freely without some form of fear, but maybe I was wrong, idk.
@@xavigoeswild6827 oh yeah, I totally get where you come from
i loved karla. lol dee with the snapping
Mission trips pictures in random offices... 😬 😬 😬
Yikes, the first lady. I agree with her up to saying that children shouldn't be obedient. She should've said I believe in obedience, but not being completely submissive.
8:55 what he was trying to say is that people like doing just enough self help to be trendy, but usually you have way more psychological hinderances rather than physical.
Also- when people feel entitled to touch you without asking..especially as a black woman- don't even think about touching my hair.
Staying in relationship for the sake of your children while not loving each other in my opinion is hella toxic and overly glamorized.
Stop normalizing gender hate like “I hate women.” Or “I hate men.” That’s so corny and toxic.
UA-cam trifling cuz I ain’t get a notification.. but I also agree a lot. That was actually a good compilation.😭
8:01 I don't think he explained that well. I think shadow work is definitely important and is apart of self growth, they go hand in hand. It is important to uncover past trauma and toxic behavior within yourself in order to change them. Repressing your emotions to give the illusion that everything is fine is toxic.
He didn't explain it well at all
sometimes it makes sense in your head but you don't know how to express it. Glad there is clarification though
i think the guy’s point about the whole “self help” thing is that it doesn’t address mental health. if you really, REALLY want to help yourself, you need to work on your psyche. self help goes much, much, MUCH deeper than the surface.
So many people believe it's ok to hit, slap, spank and use that to discipline their kids and even defends their actions by saying it's apart of their culture or how they were raised and they don't see how that's abuse. It really does anger me how so many say that's normal and then they laugh about it because I was abused physically and verbally when I was a kid by my mom until I fought back to defend myself since she had me pinned to the floor and she would only abuse me whenever I was left alone with her.
i understand what the first person is saying because i've been taught to ask before i eat something and whenever we have food and nobody is around to tell me i can eat i just wait until i can ask or dont eat at all
It's toxic to tell your kids they can't leave the table until they finished all their food. This leads to overeating and a lack of self-control. They are half our size. They aren't meant to eat the same proportions as you. If they don't want to eat their veggies, make them eat them first before they can go on to the rest of the meal. If they genuinely aren't eating enough, you need to focus on WHY they're not eating. If they are emotionally distressed, and they don't want to eat, forcing them to eat will turn them into emotional eaters.
Y'all are setting your kids up to be OBESE. That shit is not okay.
..or let them have candy instead. You sound like an excellent parent!
@@warpnin3 🙄stfu
Yes!! Dee preach on the Top and Bottom shit!!! It's a waste if time then that's when they start to invite someone else in the bedroom and that doesn't always work out
the self-care guy meant we should also aknowledge, accept and work on our bad behaviours/attitude as much as doing self-care and self-love 💗💗💗
Another problem with parents letting their children express themselves is, children don't know what they want or need. That's why your a "parent". To guide them to the right path.
0:55 "I want my child to have a voice..." My momma would knock my voice into the frying pan for talking back.
That first woman likes her children to not obey her? Doesn't like them to do what they're being told?
What do I think is glamorized but extremely toxic...coeararly toxic relationships but let me tell you what I mean,like oh yeh he/she spoils me so Ima stay with them but at the same time he/she is whoopin yo a$$ behind closed doors and it’s gotten so glamorized that it’s in songs and that girl who said “if I don’t have a man who shoots me in my feet then he don’t love me” like it’s disgusting how in the same breath you can call these people HIGH VALUE but in every aspect of life they’re a bum,a dustie and this is why I choose to educate myself and I’m not going into depth but stuff like this makes me want to start my own podcast or something bc ppl need to notice the foolery going on around us
If we don't do the internal work the self care stuff isn't going to do much but keep us on a loop.
I think the self help guy was trying to say that people get on the self help train for the trend of it but don't do that actual work ..the uncomfortable part of growth. For example, posting on insta about self care trends like mediation and yoga but not addressing your trauma/ toxicity. And that first lady was just tripping because of her bad parenting. Raising kids with no boundaries or structure is also highly toxic sis
Expressing themselves = "Shut your f*ing mouth, mom!". And she's proud of that.
That what you said there alone would make you a good mom, cause your kids wouldn't be embarrassing you in public😂😂
Also Adults telling children like “I’ve seen you before” when they need to change clothes or something like that’s extremely creepy and weird
WHO EVER READS THIS JUST KNOW GOD AND JESUS LOVES YOU REPENT FROM YOUR SINS BEFORE ITS TO LATE
If God and Jesus really love me I don't have to repent for shit
@@King-zx4qr We sin everyday.
@@King-zx4qr Uum no? That’s so stupid. You have to repent. Do you even love God? Sound like you love your sins more than God to me.
@@browncookies8048 You can live your life regretting shit. But I know that God loves me no matter what. If you don't agree, that's your own opinion. But don't call me stupid because I think differently than you, stupid.
@@King-zx4qr Uum I didn’t call you stupid. Your statement was stupid. Even tho God loves you , you still have to repent. I really didn’t mean to call you stupid. You are so smart. God loves you alright but Do you love God enough to turn away from your sins cuz God hate sin? If someone loves you, you shouldn’t take advantage and cheat , lie or steal from them. You should show them the same love.
That first woman just be taking. Yes kids should be able to express themselves but if I shouldn't have to tell my kid more than once to do something and let them spek to me anyhow 🙅🏾♀️
I wouldn't be surprised if her kids are spoiled af.
I think dude was saying we glamorous the comfort/pretty parts of self care but people are rarely doing the dirty work of looking at their worst selves and doing the hard work it takes to remove trauma. He was circling the point but never quite got there.
Yeah what that person said about the tops, bottoms and vers being toxic made no sense. Some people are just bottoms and some people are just tops. Not everyone is versatile sexually. I was in a relationship and it just didn’t work because we were both bottoms. Neither of us wanted to top. 😂
She gave an entire speech defending her bad parenting she feels insecure about, I can't wait for her kids to be teenagers I wonder if she will feel the same way. Children should have a voice I agree but they also need to respect authority her kids will find themselves in dangerous situations if she don't switch her parenting won't be able to keep a job navigate social norms because they will have no control of self
I love how she says EW aggressively
9:48 I can get what he's coming from and to stop thinking it's ok to let someone be mean to you but they expect us to be perfect or be successful early or be an adult when I dont know how to be .
"off top no pun intended" THAT TOOK ME OUT 😭💀
I never answer ppl when they ask if I’m a top or bttm and just watch them all guess w/ each other what I am based on how I look.
I love you for that first statement you made about little boys people never say that shit to little girls and it's fucking weird .
And I have. Kids under 7 that I only have to tell 1 time to pick something up and they do it with no questions because they have respect for this house and they see me respecting the house and cleaning things up.
I'M BLACK AND I LIVE IN A HOUSEHOLD WITH A BLACK MOM AND A AFRICAN DAD AND I NEED TO SAY THIS... IT'S NOT PHYSICAL DISCINPLINE, IT'S ABUSE.
Lmaoo it’s the “ she bout to be out here thotin she bout to have all the niggas” 😂😂
Well behavied doesn't mean they can't express themselves though lol. People treat they kids like that and be surprised to find out they ain't shit when they get older
Love this form start to finish.
The first one, ppl are just sensitive wimps. Kids need structure and discipline. My sis was a teacher and gave her kids freedom like that and a girl threw a chair. She got it on video, the girl wouldn't stop. How bad it is when teachers are allowed to film kids on their phone and show the parents? I had no idea that was allowed but it is. Teachers r allowed to video kids if they misbehave. Give them structure and discipline shit
ive definitely heard people talk about little girls saying they were going to be heart breakers
People do say it about little girls though. It's usually like " you gone have to watch her". Watch her for what? As if the "ugly" ones not out here thotting 🤣🤣🤣
Destroying things and blaming their sign. Aries, Pisces etc