Just what is living? / Otomachi Una

Happy New Year. I'm Afternoon Tea (午後ティー).
2019, thank you for all you've taught me.
2020, please treat me kindly.
Let's all be careful to take care of our health going forward.
■ Vocal / Otomachi Una
■ Music, Lyrics / Afternoon Tea
/ gogotea_nicogt
mylist/31898303
■Illust / I borrowed an illustration from Yuusuke Akuta-sama
piapro.jp/aozo...
/ usuke_akt
■ Off-vocal / piapro.jp/gogot...
【Lyrics】
なぁ　「生きる」ってなんだよ
Hey, just what is "living?"
「根腐れした生活との心中を夢見て止まない」
そんな歌を書く　退屈で自慰的な日々だ
失うものなんてない　強いて言えばこの命くらい
情けない　三十で死にたい
”I always dream of a double suicide with this life that's rotten down to the core,"
I write that kind of song in boredom, comforting myself day after day.
I don't have anything to lose, but if I'm forced to name something, I guess it'd be my life.
Pathetic. I want to die at thirty.
喜怒も哀楽も邪魔だな　もう窓から捨てたい
僕は空っぽであるべきだ
じゃないとまた泣いてしまう
惨めな現状に
Happiness, anger, grief, and pleasure all just get in the way,
I just want to throw them out a window.
I should be empty, since if I'm not, I'll just end up crying
at my miserable state.
壊してしまえよ
僕のこの感傷を　音楽を　理想の未来を
声を　言葉を　愛憎の記憶を
譲れないものも守りたい存在もないような人生を　
なぁ　「生きる」ってなんだよ
Just destroy it all:
this sentimentality of mine, my music, my ideal future,
my voice, my words, my memories of love and hate,
and my life, which doesn't seem to have anything I can't give up, or anyone I want to protect
Hey, just what is "living?"
夕焼けの部屋に焼死体は僕一人だ
死にたい理由が天井に焼け付いたまんまだ
僕が歌を歌えば　たちまち灰になって消えた
だからもう　これで最後にしたい
Inside this room at sunset, there's only one burnt corpse: me.
My reasons for wanting to die are still burnt into the ceiling.
If I sing songs, at once I'll turn into ash and disappear.
So I've already decided I want this to be the end.
春ももうすぐか　嫌だな
ねぇ　風の隨に
僕も攫ってくれないか
じゃないとまた気付いてしまう
己の無価値さに
And spring's right around the corner, how unpleasant
Hey, following the whim of the winds -
can't I be carried off too?
If not, then I'll end up realizing
my own worthlessness again.
美しいものは総じて一瞬だ
じゃあ僕は不老不死かもな
冬の夕日も黎明の夜明けも朝焼けも刹那
花も雨も四季も風景も同様だ
もう　みなまで言うなよ
Beautiful things generally only last for a moment.
Well, then I might just be ageless and immortal then.
Even the setting sun in winter, even the dawning light of daybreak, even the morning glow lasts just an instant;
flowers, rain, the four seasons, and natural scenery: they're all the same-
well now, don't list them all.
「負けるが勝ち」っていうのは勝者の甘言だ
肥大した自嘲は敗者の後遺症
"Defeat is victory" is just a victor's sweet talk.
And engorged self-derision is the aftereffect of defeat.
好きで握ったペンやギターは僕を刺すナイフ　成れの果て
己が血を啜るその先に幸福はないぜ
「いつか」って言葉が嫌いでしょうがねぇ
今んなって足掻いても僕には「それ」しかないのに
The pen and guitar I'd loved and picked up ended up turning into the knife that stabbed me.
Before I drink my own blood to pledge my vow, there'll be no happiness for me.
"Someday," don't you just hate that word?
Even though until now, even though I've floundered and struggled, that "someday" is still all I have...
死なば諸共だ
くらえ　この絶唱を
来世では笑っていたいよ
If we die, we die together.
So take it - this masterpiece!
I want to be smiling in my next life!
それだけでいいや
望めば損すんだ　大抵は
知ってんだ
That's enough;
if you make wishes, you'll only end up hurt. More or less,
I know that.
壊してしまえよ
僕のこの感傷を　音楽を　理想の未来を
声を　言葉を　愛憎の記憶を
譲れないものも守りたい存在もないような人生を
腐った性根を
Just destroy it all:
this sentimentality of mine, my music, my ideal future,
my music, my words, my memories of love and hate,
and my life, which doesn't seem to have anything I can't give up, or anyone I want to protect,
my core that's been corrupted-
「花は散るから愛されるのよ」
いずれ死ぬ僕は愛に飢えた
なりたいもんにもなれねぇと悟って枯れたんだ
桜の咲いた庭を眺めて呟いていました
"The petals are loved because they fall,"
the me that'll die someday hungered for love.
"You'll never be able to become anything you want to,"
realizing this, they withered away.
Gazing at the garden where the sakura had bloomed,
I was muttering to myself,
「生きるってなんだろう」
What is living, anyway?
「生きるってなんだよ」
Just what is living?
English TL by Xia (@PachinkoSubs)
#VOCALOID #OtomachiUna #AfternoonTea