Most Awkward Guy in the World (ft. Mac Gostow)
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- Опубліковано 27 сер 2024
- My video for Golden Goose 2012 at Gordon College.
What up, yo, my name is Michael Mann.
I understand women like the back of my hand.
Well, that would be true if I were an amputee
And had been so since the ripe age of three.
Truth is, I find 'em kind of intimidating,
cuz my brain and my mouth are never cooperating.
Like they got their own method of female detection,
And are rising up together in an insurrection.
I talk to women like I talk to walls--
I look crazy if I try to speak at all.
And talking to girls is like milking a cow,
because I probably should have learned how to do it by now.
Going to parties is like whale watching-
cuz I start throwing up when everybody's rocking.
Talking to me is like a game of chess
Because I'm pretty good but I'm not the best,
So if the game ends early or the game goes late,
Either way you know you gonna end up with a stalemate.
"Stale mate"-- Like a boring partner?
You'd better pay attention cuz they're gonna get harder.
One of my problems is that I'm a voice cracker,
And I ain't talking about about my career as a white rapper.
I guess it just wasn't meant to be
Cuz I'm the anti-Cicero of the 21st century
Verse 2:
When you ask a question don't expect an answer--
I'll be slipping out derps like a pez dispenser.
I got the confidence of a newborn baby
"Do you want to go out?" Kinda-yes-no-maybe.
It's even worse when I'm interested;
When the time comes for my wit to be tested,
I miss jump shots going up uncontested,
and probably end up saying something that could get me arrested.
Hey girl, welcome to Chester's.
If you're looking for some noise, I can be your molester.
--No, no, no, that's not what I meant,
because molests means annoys in the literal sense.
"annoys" = "a noise," get it?
It would make a lot more sense if you read it (I swear).
But you gotta give me a little credit,
'cause it sounded really good in my head before I said it.
If the perpetuation
of my infatuation
requires continuation
of communication,
then consider this my termination
of what otherwise would have been pure elation,
'cause I've got more chance with this Dalmatian
than I've got with you, cute Asian.
Verse 3:
What up, yo, time to learn from a pro,
If you're a functioning male, then it's in your bones,
Cuz if you get ten toes, ten fingers and a nose,
You gotta go before you know what's gonna flow.
Whoa whoa, bro, I gotta take it slow,
Cuz I'm as witty as the Eiffel tower is low,
And I don't even know what I'm gonna say before,
I do sound check on a microphone.
You're thinking too much, you gotta improvise.
I lack confidence, you can't sympathize.
You gotta approach the girl feeling energized,
And then I walk out feeling tranquilized.
You gotta feel the burn, you gotta feel the passion.
The only thing I feel is my lungs collapsing.
You gotta start off strong, you gotta find some traction.
Cuz physics really makes for a strong attraction.
I got scads of women; I got over a dozen.
You gotta listen to me if you want get something.
Like Forrest Gump, from women you're running.
You're like a deer in the lights, your eyes bugging.
You thought there was a chance, but there wasn't.
You thought my mouth could fly, but it doesn't.
Cuz women to you are like a dime a dozen,
and I'm like Mr. Bean's socially inept cousin.
Verse 4:
I've tried pickup techniques, like flirting and negging,
I even made up my own: I call it crying and begging.
I know its not my intelligence failing,
But the pressure that makes my thoughts start derailing.
I've got the intelligence of Stephen Hawking
But unfortunately, I sound like him when I'm talking
I mean sure, I look like Christopher Walken
But at least I don't resort to Facebook stalking
I've been running walking talking--even hiking and fishing,
I understand electropholic aromatic addition,
I wrote seven page paper on allegory in The Mission,
But I'll never understand the things girls are wishing,
Because girls have got minds like a plate of spaghetti,
Cuz the time to unwind all the lines is just petty.
Girls have got minds unlike relativity,
Cuz Einstein by this time would've solved it already.
And girls have got minds like an elevator,
Because after ups and downs, you kinda start to hate her.
And understanding a girl is like Ralph Nader,
Because you probably should've given up sooner than later.
I'm a frustrated man, not the the first of my kind,
I stumble over my words, cuz I got a lot on my mind.
But I know that one day, when my stars have aligned,
I'm gonna meet a nice girl, mute and deaf and blind.
I'll admit, I structured the song after that one. I have never written a full-length song, so I took the chords from the chorus (this is hardly a crime: they're the magic chords, the ones in every pop song nowadays) then put my own lyrics over them. Any similarity in the sound of the chorus probably stems from that. In the long run, I was a bit more concerned about the quality of my rap.
The best video I've ever seen.
Genius. Pure, unadulterated genius.
So fucking brilliant. You could totally find a record label willing to produce an album if you wanted to make more songs.
Them feels.
I can't get enough of this video!
Brilliant, just brilliant. Well done and good luck :)
Yaaah, you rock the mic, Mike.
The lyrics flow like a river. Wow.
you deserve way more subscribers!
very impressive :) great song :D
11 years 😮😮😮😮😮😮
No... he made this for a school project.
Amazing video!
This was awesome. Well done!
Almost awkwardly so...
YOU DA MANN!!!
also snl shy ronnie
No, but a few people have asked me that. What is it a reference to?
haha cool stuff. greetings from germany
That'd be the point
Lmao
snl inspired?
search snl Jack Sparrow (feat. Michael Bolton), you'll understand xD
Intro's waaaaaaay too long.
Haha great video guys definitely worth a sub
Wouldnt mind checking me out?