Bro u should analyse every single character in South park , I know this will be time consuming but it doesn't have to be a deep analysis. It just means I'll have new South park content every day . Does that make me a narcissist🤔🤔🤔🤣🤣🤣
Remember kids, if some threats to kill themselves if you break up with them or whatever. Immediately call the police and report that that person has confessed to planning to hurt themselves and you are fearful for their life. If they were serious, congratulations you got them help. If they were being a manipulative asshole they now have to deal with the consequences.
My mom has NPD, and it really upsets me when she proclaims her current boyfriend has "Gone mad" or "is crazy and angry", and every time I know she's manipulated and hurt them until they've snapped. It's really sad to see her breaking their spirits
This is often referred to as "reactive abuse." But narcs love to call their victims "crazy, unhinged, the problem". I've got two narc parents so I empathize 💛
As a therapist this is pretty much spot on. One thing I would add would be the first episode when they get in a fight and cartman walks alone and in his head it starts with Heidi saying “we need to talk, we need to communicate” and eventually morphs into her screaming at him. This is an indication that Cartman really does feel smothered and victimized by her and twists reality to make him the victim of an overbearing girlfriend when she’s just asking him to talk to her directly with a shred of honesty and vulnerability, a perfectly healthy request in a relationship. This is consistent with avoidant attachment, common with narcissists
Jesus christ yes, I loved that they added that scene. I'm pretty sure that's what went through my ex's head 24/7😂 but no fr it's a really great way to visualize that mindset.
@@heehoopeanut420 It also helps illustrate one of the common misconceptions people have about Narcissistic Personality Disorder(NPD) which cartman is probably the best depiction of in media that I’ve seen (he also has a lot of psychopathic traits as well). But one of the misconceptions is that from the outside it looks like Cartman is fully aware of what’s going on and that he’s gaslighting her and everyone else to try to get them to agree with his obviously false description of what’s going on or that he just blames other people to avoid taking responsibility and that he’s fully aware of it. But people with NPD are so distorted in their thinking that the subconscious essentially gaslights the conscious into believing it themselves and then they push that onto other. It’s difficult for people (me included when I started working) who don’t understand NPD because to the rest of, we’ve all most likely lied about something that we’re totally aware is not true, that we interpret someone with NPD doing the same thing but just on a most greater scale. Because of the narcisstic veil that Cartman has, it’s not just that he really wants or needs other people or even Heidi to believe his nonsense, he himself has to believe it and he will distort all reality to do so. Think of the ending of “Breast Cancer Show Ever” it’s not just that he needs to save face and convince people that everybody else still thinks he’s cool, he himself has to believe that everybody still thinks he’s cool and he has to distort reality to do it. I could go on about the reason cartman has NPD because that’s another misconception but I’ll spare you lol.
This is why I appreciate South Park. They're able to be not only hilarious, but educational as well. From identifying abusive relationships, to substance over beauty, to the truth about pot, they don't hesitate to include life lessons which are legitimately valuable in real life
Some people may say the show looks lowbrow and offensive but it really gives out really good morals and lessons. And that what makes South Park special… Especially around late 2013 to late 2017...
@@BeanBag343 gen z'er here, can confirm that people in my grade literally brag about manipulating others or say ,,im so toxic heehee im a walking red flag heehee"(while also calling everyone toxic for everything ever) which isnt exactly cartman behaviour but still, goes to show how vastly accepted manipulation is
My parents were exactly like Cartman and Heidi, my dad being Cartman and my mom Heidi. My dad met her when she was vulnerable and told her everything she wanted to hear and it took 23 years for her to break it off. They (cartman,heidi, and my dad and my mom) are so alike, my dads even pulled a gun on himself when my mom tried to leave
Poor Heidi It honestly just terrible that all of this happened to her. You are on point again on your analysis. He completely destroyed her good nature
@@Immortal_Fish that's good writing with research put into its topic for ya. Gotta respect it. It's why even the likes of rape victims can respect what happens in Silent Hill, myself included. It's harsh, but it does it with a realistic and respectful lense. The same is done here with the abusive relationship but the dark humour of South Park cushioning the harsh nature of it but still not enough for the message to be muddled. Fair play to those writers and I fucking applaud it!
@@ChewyChicken589 no she wasn't. Though it was mostly due to being too immature to understand and then Cartman made her worse Before him she was fine. Your average mid teen kinda mindset
I've had a couple close female friends enter toxic relationships, and when they vent to me, I always try to get them to see reason and leave the jerk. Thankfully South Park DID make me realize one important thing: whenever I tried to get through to them, I comforted them as a friend and NEVER made them feel stupid for getting in the relationship in the first place. I liked Wendy, but damn was that a jerk thing for her and the other girls to do to Heidi. Also, I will say that in addition to the Alexa, I thought the change between seasons was also due to the fact that Cartman could get back online without having to worry about Troll Trace (and the implication he got a new laptop and phone at some point).
Well I'm easily gonna play devils advocate coming from a guy who once had a good friend date a guy I knew was gonna be bad and didn't listen to me. I did end up right and she ended up saying terrible things that happened to her as a result. I told her so, she never listened and learned the very difficult way when she didn't need to. This guy was a gaslighter, abuser, manipulator, controller. In the heat of moments when I lost my friend cuz of this guy, I wanted karma to hit her for refusing to listen to me and even laughing in my face. I didn't feel bad given how she saw my advice. On a human level for me, no one truly deserves it but as contradictory and harsh as it sounds you should listen to ppl with your best interest and you know way better. We spoke for at least 10 months at that point. She let looks (mind u he did meth and to me did not even have good looks for a guy) dictate her decisions. Her excuses of being younger still bother me and even though we're friends still now, no way I can overlook it if I can recall it so easily. Thank god she grew up. Nonetheless, unforgivable since it should've never happened ever
In fact what the girls did contributed to Heidi coming back to Cartman. She finally got to have an actually good friend that's willing to help her, hell Kyle even managed to point out that what the girls were doing is such a jerk move, but because the girls still did it, Heidi just went back. I wished the show gave consequences to the girls since they always gave consequences to the boys for every jerk move they do. Which is why the vegan episode was one of my favorite episodes, since they actually made the girls look flawed. (Kind of also wished they mentioned that the amount of clothes used and then discarded is also one of the biggest pollutants on Earth, as every clothing you think you're donating to someone from another country, is going to an incenerator/fire pile since they already have a surplus of it there. Like, clothes are the last thing that are direly necessary, we're able to make our own clothes too yknow. And the burned fabrics make for a very big air pollutant. Would make a good episode on the girls' tendencies to be activists and shopaholics.)
My friend wouldn't leave untill he tried to rpe her. I was like. He's an asshole. You hate him. You don't even like him. You don't even find him attractive. Why are you with him. I don't really get it to be honest sometimes. I get when you actually love the person. And want to help them. But she didn't like him. She only saw him now and again and he was awful every time.
@@Saiyan1229 Join the club. For the many who grew up or followed South Park, we DO (sort of) feel that way. WHY? Because for so long, even if we think Cartman’s a sick excuse of life, we can’t help but enjoy how he has entertained us with his crazy personality. It’s how we’re able to identify him as a brilliant character. Now, Mr. Slim, on the other hand…
@@andrelavandero3041 yup he was a character i hated cause he was an asshole but loved at the same time. The show wouldnt have ever been the same without him. So it hit to see how he ended up
The most tragic thing about Heidi is that as soon as she breaks up with Cartman, she is reduced again to a background character. Wouldn’t it be great to better know her character post-relationship, seeing her get past the toxic relationship she was trapped in for so long. She does not have to be a main character, but be a secondary character such as Wendy who at times has time to shine in special episodes focused around them.
They should do a special episode to give Heidi some kind of a redemption for everything that she’s been through with Cartman. She really deserves better though.
Can you name something about Heidi apart from being Cartman's girlfriend? She was never an interesting character on her own to justify why she needs to be cared about after the relationship with Cartman is done
@@ChildOfTheFlower Yeah exactly even if she was important for just being in a relationship with cartman then at least show the aftermath of the relationship.
My ex pulled the “I’ll kill myself if you leave” card and by the end I laughed and told her to do it. It really does break who you are fundamentally as a person but as I watched her drink septic tank safe toilet cleaner I knew I made the right decision for myself in the end. Did I know if she knew that septic tank safe toilet cleaner had no bleach in it? It didn’t matter, I simply no longer cared. That was the ultimate freedom, that I no longer cared for this person who put me through literal Hell for 4 years of my life
I replied this to a comment but I wanted to post it anyway. Cartman being extremely nice to Heidi is actually an example of love bombing which is a tactic narcissists often use to make their victims feel comfortable around them so when they are mean it’s harder for their victims to distinguish if they are actually a mean person or if they are just reasonably upset. it’s also used to gain the victims trust and manipulate them into feeling like their abuser is their only source of happiness or validation. Victims in this situation such as Heidi will often be convinced that no one besides their abuser will ever love them
I did this to my last ex, and I was completely unaware that my insecurities drove me to justify anything to get my way. I never thought I was wrong. I love and miss her so much I wish she could see the improvements and I could apologize. Get therapy, and self improve people.
It's great that you are seeking therapy. Make sure you don't repeat that same thing again if you care about people. If you catch yourself doing it, correct yourself immediately. That kind of behavior is devastating to people around you. Good luck!
I know that there's obviously so many factors in why people do what Cartman did to Heidi. But a part of me will never truly understand how people can genuinely be like "Hey, this person treats me nicely. I'm going to treat them like absolute shit."
It’s not necessarily with that intent, but rather a search for pleasure for oneself, a narcacist doesn’t really see what he does to people. I’ve been in toxic relationships and I gotta say it’s awful but also gives you a kick from time to time. Narcacist only search for that kick I recon and don’t care about the other person.
He liked her and wanted her to like him so he faked being progressive and not racist and eventually he let his real self show but this would make her leave, so to control her he had to force her to become like him
I feel like when you have a narcissist disorder, it’s not about the other person. It’s really about making yourself feel better. Kind of like if you say something funny other people laugh, it makes you feel good. It feeds the narcissist ego to cause that kind of pain I think. At least that is what I have learned kind of from my dad. He only really reaches out when he is lonely or whatever. Otherwise not very much in my life and doesn’t even communicate with me. The minute he got divorced he missed me so much and blah blah blah. Get out of here with that crap. I moved out of his house when I was 15 and my 22nd birthday is coming up so he can take all his love and choke on it.
i was just like this with my first girlfriend. i’m so happy i took the time to realize my genuine narcissistic and abusive behavior and better myself. fellas, treat good women that love you like gold. i still wish i could apologize properly, not like a manipulator.
As a woman who was previously in a relationship like the one you're describing, all you can do is offer your genuine condolences. Don't try to start a whole conversation, don't try to get back with her, and don't deflect the blame. If you want to apologize, just know that the apology in this case isn't to "make things right" with her, as she isn't required to have you in your life. It might provide some closure for you, though, if you were to apologize for what you did. I wish the best of luck to you, and I'm so grateful that you were able to better yourself.
@@rykerwilder1863 i thank you for your kind words but this relationship was over 4 years ago. her and i both have since moved on, i’ve actually been in a successful healthy relationship for 2 years now.
There’s no need to apologize...no point in reopening old wounds reaching out to her, surely you know it hurts her to have those kind of reminders even if it’s with good intent. And if you don’t reach out then you don’t sound like a manipulator...you’ve made it up to her by improving yourself, I’m sure in the end that’s really what she wanted to happen, a lot of women stay with their toxic partner hoping they can help them change but that’s something one can only achieve within themselves. There has to be motivation to change, and if she didn’t leave you then you probably wouldn’t have had that motivation to change...that’s why you shouldn’t apologize. You should be grateful to her for snapping you out of that mess and pat yourself on the back for doing the work it takes to change!
I love that south park, a show that's been running since the 90's that's supposed to be a complete joke, a parody of itself, still does an way better job at displaying real life issues than most modern shows that are supposed to be taken "seriously". To me this only shows the way SP has aged gracefully, evolving without losing it's initial spark.
Crazy how well this describes my ex wife. She played me like a fiddle. Destroyed all my relationships by convincing everyone I was abusive. Then while I was weakest and too afraid to fight back, she took my son from me. Thats 6 years gone. For nothing.
My mother acts like a narcissist so I relate at a different angle, sure she does act like she's schizophrenic as well but that doesn't mean it's not a possibility to have a co-morbid disorder of narcissistic personality disorder. I of course digress: she would abuse my father in ways that caused me so much stress in my childhood. She's emotionally abusive and she has given my youngest sister PTSD as told by my sister's counselor. My father put up with this for 18 roughly 20 years of it all.
This is an older video, but I still wanted to comment. I really appreciated how Kyle pointed out that part of the problem was everyone shaming and mocking Heidi for staying with Cartman. One of the reasons why so many people stay with their abusers is because they feel ashamed for even being in that situation, or because they want to prove that they aren't a victim/made a mistake like everyone is telling them. I see a lot of people, especially in the age of crypto scams, saying "oh, they deserved to be scammed," or "it's their fault for being so stupid to get into that situation in the first place," when comments like that are one of the things keeping victims from speaking up or changing their behavior. Whenever I see people say things like that, I know that they don't actually care about helping people or seeing people lead better lives. The fact that Heidi was so close to cutting Cartman out of her life, only for her "friends" to be the one who ultimately pushed her back into that relationship (despite Kyle warning them that their behavior was part of the issue) was so heartbreaking for me.
in my opinion this is the worst thing cartman has ever done, even worse than killing scott tenorman’s parents and feeding them to him. theres a degree of reality and seriousness about him and heidi’s relationship that makes it more terrifying, maybe personally to me since i was in an emotionally, physically and sexually abusive relationship with a narcissist. cartman and heidi’s relationship is extremely terrifying because i and many others have felt the way heidi’s mental state deteriorates and warps because of cartman, defending him when youre criticised because he was the only person there when you were vulnerable, losing the identity of the person you used to be. i know exactly what she felt in the relationship and after the relationship, the poor girl is gonna need YEARS of therapy in order to be somewhat functioning in a relationship. at the same time i feel seen that someone in media feels the same way i do, i just sort of wish they also delved into what she went through to recover.
I respectfully disagree because even after he found out he indirectly killed his own father and butchered his body, his only concern and show of emotions was for the fact that he carried the recessive ginger gene
When I was younger, my brother told me that if you stay in a toxic relationship long enough you'll lose yourself because of it. I didn't know what he meant until I saw Cartman and Heidi's relationship played out, Cartman is a monster and deserves nothing but what he got at the end of the Post-Covid spinoff
I honestly love how grounded in reality this whole plotline was (as much as South Park can be anyway), and that it was taken seriously throughout. Much better than some other shows I can think of... *cough* family guy *cough*
My dad is a textbook Narcissist. A lot of the things explained in this video align almost perfectly with my dad's behaviors and sounds a lot like how my mom describes her experiences when they were still married. I'm glad they made an episode about this, because most people don't recognize these behaviors soon enough and end up trapped in the cycle.
I was really hoping you were going to talk about this relationship dynamic! I think it is the best encapsulation of how people get in and out of narcissistic relationships. I survived one and the greatest gift they can give you is showing you how to identify them in everyday life so you know how to avoid them and keep them out of your life. Great video, dude!
Given the time the episode came out, their relationship could also reflect the mindset of the typical Trump supporter, or one that simply voted for him. They cling to the narcissistic pumpkin-head and his ideals because they don't want to admit they made a mistake, especially when the left neo-liberals constantly ridicule and scrutinize them for it, and adopt the victim mentality to avoid taking any kind of responsibility.
@@Delta_Aves Yes, exactly! Matt and Trey bring that up during the season 21 commentary that Heidi represents the regretful Trump voter who backed the wrong guy out of feeling ignored/dismissed for so long only to find out they’re supporting a monstrous asshole and further plant their heels in the ground when they are ridiculed by leftists, alienating them further. Highly recommend checking out the commentary for it on UA-cam if you haven’t seen it yet!
I once went through a friendship like this, and honestly it is a shocking thing to witness and go through. You don’t realize your going through it until you look back, and it’s really hard to detach yourself from that person.
A lot of the things on the Narcissistic things listed on the Healthline article are normal. It was also written by a self described "meal-prepping, CrossFitting, New York-based wellness writer." with no Psychology credentials. 1. They were charming AF… at first (A lot of relationships start off exciting, and sour over time) 5. They don’t have any or many long-term friends (Some people just have trouble maintaining friends due to a number of reasons) 8. They dance around defining the relationship (Some people have trouble with commitment or mixed feelings, it could be immaturity or insecurity rather than narcissism) 10. They panic when you try to break up with them (This is extremely normal. Most people are devastated when their loved one breaks up with them and can very often cause panic attacks) The problem with pop psychology articles is people will read them and see the matching criteria then think "Oh no, I'm an evil narcissist!" or "They're an evil narcissist!", when an actual psychologist is needed to decipher the criteria in depth.
Yea there were some questionable things in the article, which is why I tried to only include the things that I saw in other articles and research that I knew for a fact could be a sign
It's kind of a chicken and egg situation. These traits don't make you a narcissist but narcissists do often have these traits. It would have been better if the 9 diagnostic criterias for NPD were referred to in this video. It's the context of the behaviour that matters here.
In my opinion I think Cartman genuinely liked her for a bit. I mean, at that time he got all his devices destroyed and he was devastated. Cartman exaggerates all his emotions but the exaggeration is still genuine. At the time he probably felt betrayed and then Heidi came up and flashed him, so he probably had an idealized and maybe biased? "perfect" vision of Heidi and fell in love with her. Cartman probably had a worse if not already shit vision of the other guys so Heidi was probably a gift to him at the moment. I mean, through out the season he didn't use her, and if he did, it wasn't for himself. Whenever Cartman would use or manipulate someone it would usually be because he wanted something, but he didn't have a reason to use her. Cartman isn't the type of person who would go out of his way doing all that just for nothing, but if he genuinely liked Heidi, it would make sense. Plus, he even began to be appreciative to the boys for destroying his devices and stated he was happier with Heidi. It wouldn't make sense for that to be an act, because what would be the point of it? AND he would definitely have a burning rage for the boys nonetheless, unless he was actually appreciative. Most importantly, If you take in mind that he thought Heidi was a fake and lost all interest for her right when he found out that Heidi wasn't as funny as he thought, it wouldn't make sense if he DIDN'T actually think she was smart and funny before. I think the relationship was genuinely I guess you could say "healthy" at the moment, but after that he definitely was a manipulative assfuck to her and the whole relationship turned in to a somehow even bigger abomination.
so many ppl go thru the same situation too, at first its all love and happiness, especially if one or the other (or both) were to lovebomb. i think cartman rlly did like heidi and saw her as the perfect gf until one thing happens and then his whole vision of her falls apart, which causes things to just start rolling down from there. Since the perfect image of her is now tearing apart, he sees who she really is, and that shes not as awesome and different as he once thought. + he probably jumped to conclusions which is why he believed she was a fake. Obviously Heidi gave his ego a boost, yk having a girlfriend who stuck with him through everything, which he basically got used to being able to hurt her and say wtv he wants and have her stay/come back every single time.
I’ve heard that for narcissists, when it comes to relationships they really do feel genuine love at first...but then one day it’s like a switch is flipped, and they just can’t love you anymore
Cartman having all of his devices destroyed in Season 20 is pretty much one of the rare times, anyone, or even me at least, I do feel sorry for him. He just got accused of being Skankhunt42 and all of the devices he had got wrecked by the other South Park boys.
Really that's the problem with Cartman and why I find baffling that people blame Kyle for his life ending as it did. It's not the boys who made him like that, but that's how Cartman is. He latches onto anyone and try to denigrate others to feel better about himself, to make himself believe he's the "kewl" kid. He was only able to put his life in order in the lockdown, not because Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Butters were a bad influence on him, but because the pandemic starved him of that self gratification that only comes with putting others down. And even as much of a hero as Rabbi Cartman was in the end, traces of the sociopath could still be felt when he convinced Clyde into killing kid Kyle, talking about something awful without a tinge of guilt, while conveniently keeping his hands clean.
Wow, kids in the show portray an abusive relationship better than movies and other TV shows nowadays. Toxic relationships nowadays on television become more dramatic with the overacting. I think South Park did it in a way that is so believable. It’s so sad that Hollywood has to glamorize abusive relationships. South Park just goes straight to the point. Matt and Trey really have done their homework for sure.
Also, in movies and such you SEE physical abuse. A slap, rape, or some kind of visual. And that leads people to think that when there's abuse there's physical abuse. And it doesnt have to be like this
As some one who has lived with a narcissist for 6 years, it can ruin your life. Eventually you lose every piece of yourself, until you either break apart or become worse than your abuser. If you see any signs, any at all, get out while you still can. These type of people cant be rationalized with, leave them to rot among themselves, they'll die alone while you remain happy.
Dated a narcissist for almost 5 years (and yes I'm embarrassed but it's a slow acceptance of abuse and things were super terrible but still convinced myself I deserved it because the way I was manipulated and controlled and just stayed because I wanted to work things out until I finally snapped, light bulb hit with what was going on, was able to cut the trauma bond and left) and it's crazy how similar he was to Cartman. Actually, he was way smoother than Cartman and way more abusive. But I appreciated the relationship being represented on screen because in recent years I've seen more acknowledgement about narcissism and what it means to be in this type of relationship. Spoiler alert: it's the worst and you feel like you're going nuts. But it's the hardest to detect. So I applaud the fact this type of toxic relationship is getting more traction because it is NOT just being a selfish prick, it's so much more complicated as we see Heidi change, since many didn't even believe me because my narc, like Cartman, would outwardly confess how great he was and try to prove it. The love bombing, gaslighting, back and forth, Cartman making fun of Heidi behind her back, trying to make her "undersirable" (fat) so she'd be even more dependent on him, and so much more, it's all calculated. I still to this day have no idea if they are 100% aware about what they are doing, or if it's both a conscious and unconscious thing. It's wild. But I do believe these types of people will never change and their abuse really is almost worse than physical. Lots of times I wished I was beaten instead of mentally playing gymnastics because I felt like what was going on wasnt real, your world is turned upside down, you start questioning everything, your personality changes, and worse yet, siding with your abuser willingly! At least bruises would have been easier to see proof of, for others to see and for myself (but am in no way saying ANY type of abuse is ever okay). But all I can say is narcs mentally break you if you're not prepared for this kind of person or you're inexperienced. Everyone going through this right now, man or woman: from someone who struggled to get over the lasting abuse and PTSD after the breakup for over year, it gets better. So much better. And you should 100% take that uncomfortable leap and end it, because although it was painful, I knew I deserved better and if not now, when? You're future self will thank you. And yes, you'll find someone 100% better for you. And you'll also love YOURSELF 100% more later too. After healing, I couldn't believe how far I fell and had let someone just abuse me so much. At the time I couldn't really understand or see it. But it's not healthy and you know deep down your gut has always been saying "this isn't right". Trust. Your. Gut. I should have trusted mine, not my heart. My heart was wrooooong. That wasn't love that was a trauma bond! And yes. The narc will get his karma. The gf after me reached out after a year of dating him to tell me (she knew my name because my abuser mfed me telling everyone I was still crazy so she looked me up lol) that my old abuser abused her as well and said he was nuts and felt like she was going crazy. And I know he'll do it again too. It's a pattern. And it's not you, it's them. Trust me karma will catch up to them.
Got a friend of mine dating what I would call a narcissist I spent months of my life me and two other friends trying to make him grow a brain and let her go but he didn’t budge I gave up on him. Even though I don’t talk to him about her anymore I still wish he would break up with her he deserves so much better.
I know a narcissist who became self aware of what he was doing and he said he wasn’t fully conscious of it. Like it didn’t register that his behavior was really toxic because it was done in an effort to “protect” himself. The manipulation was like a defense mechanism and had become second nature, like he knew at some level he was manipulative but he never questioned if his behavior wasnt normal. To him the only thing that mattered was to protect the inner insecure child that just insatiably craves love, acceptance, and control. Because when he had those things he felt safe. And the more people pushed against him the more he’d fall into the manipulative behavioral patterns. He said it took him years of introspection to fully realize and come to terms with it and he still struggles with falling into those behavior patterns but since he’s aware of what he is most of the time he’s able to catch his mind when it starts doing all the manipulative calculations. I feel bad for him because I know he had a lot of childhood trauma and he’s wasn’t a bad person per se, like he seemed like wanted to be a good person he was just was trapped inside those patterns of behavior. That was his experience at least idk but I’m guessing the level of awareness changes based on the levels of sociopathy or psychopathy so maybe your ex was different idk.
@@Taylor_Rae yeah that's extremely extremely rare for someone to be self aware. 99% of narcs are also sociopaths and don't see an issue with their actions. But I applaud the guy you know because that's one less person abusing someone and he's really trying. Idk if my narc had a lot of trauma he just seemed hateful even as a kid. He just wanted to hate everyone including himself and idk what was lacking in his life to make him like that, although his dad was abusive. His sister didn't turn out anything like her brother. she actually realized her toxic behaviors and her dad and improved and she's what we consider "normal" and actually above normal because she took the time to improve herself (but never had personality disorders.) The brother, my narc tho, def had issues and that's like where I wonder if some sort of trauma + gene you're born with determines how fucked up you are. But yeah no my ex will never be self aware 😂 he will always be an empty shell and seek validation from jumping from relationship to relationship and if and when he does settle down, I will feel sorry for his wife and kids cause I know he def won't go to therapy. He used everything against everyone as ammo unfortunately.
I’ve been in a narcissistic abusive relationship, and I was Heidi. You very accurately described what it’s like to be in a relationship like that. It’s something I’m still recovering from, and I still have trust issues. But for anyone reading: it does get better. And I’m glad South Park did this. I haven’t watched South Park for the past several seasons, but thanks to this video, I’m going to watch them. Thanks for doing what do you mate.
I don’t know if I’d say cartman’s constant gushing over Heidi at the start was all an act. I do think he was exaggerating be it to show off his relationship (mainly to Kyle) or bc he was “woke” at the time. There was a definite change in Cartman once Heidi flashed him. (ex: him confronting butters over his wieners out movement) Even though Cartman was totally fucking around with the “women are funny” stuff at first, he rlly did like Heidi and wanted to be good to her. But after butters’ incel influence and cartman’s own awful personality creeping in, it became toxic. We know from stuff like Cupid Cartman that Cartman genuinely loves romance in his own strange way. But like he told Scott malkinson in season 23, love wasn’t as great for him as he thought. Like romance itself, Cartman had this idealized version of Heidi in his head and once he realized she wasn’t perfect, it all went down the drain for him.
I kinda blame Kyle bro the relationship was good untill, Kyle made a threat about exposing Cartmans old self, makin it easier for butters to convince him
@@justjayyandere2144 Kyle and Butters both planted seeds of doubt in Cartman but I think it was kinda inevitable he would've turned against Heidi anyway w/ how fragile his perception was. But it's kinda funny how at that point there wasn't much of a reason for kyle to threaten cartman's relationship (besides spite lol) since cartman at that point was good to heidi. kyle rlly just can't accept cartman being happy, can he?
Cartman being extremely nice to Heidi is actually an example of love bombing which is a tactic narcissists often use to make their victims feel comfortable around them so when they are mean it’s harder for their victims to distinguish if they are actually a mean person or if they are just reasonably upset. it’s also used to gain the victims trust and manipulate them into feeling like their abuser is their only source of happiness or validation. Victims in this situation such as Heidi will often be convinced that no one besides their abuser will ever love them
Watching Cartman and Heidi reminds me so much of my ex and me. It makes me so sad because I know EXACTLY how she feels. Also that scene where she’s out with her friends and they’re laughing at her and asking what she was thinking for dating him… that one hit HARD 🥺😭
I actually experienced this myself. It took me 9 months to leave. He would constantly threaten to hurt himself. He called me cringe for defending myself. Any interest I had that he didn't like would be torn apart and called horrible I feel so lonely without him being honest. But lonely is better then that shit other feeling he was giving me.
A dated a sociopath and it was just like this. Came to my aid when I was going through a hard time, doted on me before suddenly and completely cold to me. Ended up making me act just as crazy as him cause I decided to stoop to his level and be petty after our break up (well after I realized how bad he was after our break up cause for a couple months after it I was still obsessed with him) cause I didn’t want to look weak or like he still had a hold on me, resulting in me pushing or driving everyone away. It also didn’t hurt (well, actually it did) that he was an adult and I was barely 16. It’s an absolutely awful thing to go through but luckily instead of judging me for ever dating him despite the red flags my friends were there for me. But now we can joke about how stupid I was for dating him. He wasn’t a narcissist though, he was a sociopath so he also did impulsive and dangerous things like drugs and fighting and generally reckless shit. And being alot older than cartman you know there was sexual exploitation involved. After the fact I learned he apparently had fantasies about killing women he’s dating. The whole time I was in imminent danger and didn’t even know it. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through and it kills me that he’s still out there able to continue preying on young girls cause it’s the most painful thing and was beyond damaging, and you know one day he’ll just snap and seriously hurt someone. Especially if he’s on drugs. I wouldn’t be surprised if he showed up on a true crime podcast one day. Anyway, this is a great video, very accurate, and brings light to a real serious subject that needs to be talked about more. To bring awareness and help keep people from these toxic relationships.
I actually went through this myself. From the beginning I felt something wasn’t right away. I had to study all the way I was being manipulated and gaslighted. I was in the relationship for about a year. And that situation can really mix you up.
Frankly, I do like this. It’s a little extreme but it’s nice to see Heidi recover. Frankly, that whole “if you paint yourself as the victim, you can get away with anything” idea feels like it happens a lot in 2010’s storytelling. Especially when it comes to villain redemption.
i always found the whole cartman and heidi plotline kinda boring it was also a bit infuriating that the next season after that there was absolutely no acknowledgement of it. and heidi was completely irrelevant from that point onward, just like she always was. that says to me that she wasn't chosen as an underused background character to flesh out, but a tool to exacerbate cartman's shenanigans again, and to generally mess around with because they can easily put that character back into obscurity with little consequence.
I mean the show has been on so long, sometimes characters won't have a line for 10 or 15 seasons and then come back and be the focus of several episodes. I suspect we will see Heidi again at some point. She is still part of the girls cliche in the school. I mean there's only been maybe a dozen episodes since they broke up.
The Heidi and Cartman relationship was brought up in the epìsode Basic Cable, which is the last normal episode that South Park got (just before the specials).
It really does suck how Heidi’s relationship with Eric turned out, because she could have been an amazing partner to Kyle. Kyle is everything Heidi needed in her moment of need. While Eric meet her on unluckily terms, Kyle really got to know her when she was seeking help. He listened to her, encouraged her, and told her the right path to take, and to get away from Cartman before it was too late. But Eric is one another level of evil. Just the same, he’s another level of narcissist. I would go even futher and say he’s in another league of his own compared to psychopath. He’s just a walking destructive machine and everyone from his mother to his girlfriend, to his “friends” can all be his next victims because they don’t do what he says. Eric just wants slaves really. He just wants to sit behind a big iron throne and watch people die for entertainment. But he’s character is all to real and what he does allows us to see the true nature of evil.
Imagine finding a pair of panties that doesn't belong to you plus condoms and your bf says it's your fault you should be going through his stuff...I was trying to clean up. I got yelled at and end up apologizing. I have had it !
Okay I have no clue if this is fake or not nor do I want evidence but here is some advice in case this is in fact true- Please break up with him or something- Get yourself out of that kind of environment. I am just some normal ordinary south park fan but- You shouldn't have had apologized or had been yelled at, He shouldve been the one explaining himself. Not you. You were trying to do something nice and it got taken as offense because you found something that concerned you. I really hope he has an actual explanation for this or that this hasn't been a continuing thing but you shouldn't put your trust or time in this if questioning something results in them yelling at you and blaming you for being concerned about something they left out.
@@pumpkin6809 thank you gir your advice the story is true unfortunately I didn't record the situation cause it would of gotten violent. It's day 2 and I have not gotten over it. I told him we need time apart then flips out AGAIN ! You are right he should've been more responsible. Hid excuse was he hasn't cleaned up in over a year I'm like you go through that draw everyday, how could you have not seen it? No matter how nice or pissed off I explain to him he will never take responsibility. I'm turned off so bad. Like Kyle and Stan I learned something today! Thank you !
I experienced something like this when I was younger, and I was honestly surprised by how accurate SP got with it. Cartman's go-to threat was what they used as well, so it struck a horrifying chord.
The part when she yells to Kyle saying "who's being being manipulated? He's great we're doing great" you can tell cartman already had her wrapped around his finger :(
This is a pretty good breakdown. And it shows Matt and Tray are talented enough as writers to convey this well enough that someone can look back and breakdown the entire process. And that they can do it in a way to keep it in sync with the show.
Another great analysis, I love seeing these Cartman psychology videos, because his character, his life and relationships are just so fun to see a deep dive on. Keep up the great work man.
Honestly, I was surprised South Park tackled this kind of relationship as most people are still under a belief that if the person isn’t hitting you, it’s not an abusive relationship. My ex was like Cartman during our whole relationship and I still felt like it was my fault even after we broke up. Surprisingly, seeing the relationship between Cartman and Heidi made me really understand that I wasn’t the problem and the best I can do is just move on from the hell I’ve been through.
Love these South Park videos they really display mental health and issues better than most of other tv shows do this shows a narcissistic relationship in a realistic way
i strangely appreciate seeing representation of toxic relationships like these, especially in my favourite show, as someone who has been in heidi’s shoes, it really spoke to me, especially the speech that she made when she was finally ending things with cartman, it’s crazy how accurate and spot on they represented these kinds of relationships, and it shows how south park can really help people, it helped me especially, it showed me that i shouldn’t blame myself and that sometimes there are just terrible people that won’t change, i love how they tackle real issues like this in a very real way, not sure how to end this but yeah, that’s my thoughts on it lol, great video man! :)
As horrible as this relationship was, I actually think that they had potential for a interesting dynamic. Maybe Heidi could've been used as a way to explore a softer side of cartman. It could be funny if he was an asshole to everyone else but Heidi is the only one that could tame him and put him in his place. But I guess yendl sorta had that effect on him. Having him act like an abuser isn't a surprise since it's cartman lol. But yeah, I need to get a life and stop rambling about fictional characters lol.
I think there is to much of that already in media, the good girl gets with the bad boy that is only good to her, but he's still bad! I think that it doesn't help and it makes these women think that they just need to reach the good in them, and that will make all the bad just go away when they show how good he really is! That he was a misunderstood soul that deserves a chance, and I for one am glad that someone showed a more realistic view on a relationship like that. We need more!
Do y’all remember Eric was actually happy and rehabilitating with Heidi then Butters ruined everything by being an incel? Eric was super wholesome and then that shiz happened
The first time I saw cartman's and Heidi's relationship I was thinking oh this is cute you know cartman's finally getting a girlfriend for the first time he might change his persona and his personality and then after realizing what he has done to Heidi and what he did Cartman is Cartman he never changes maybe this makes sense Hawaiian post covid makes sense why he became a rabbi and married a different woman because there's a reason for that because Heidi was so toxic with him and he just messed it up. And at one point Kyle try to get with Heidi and I feel like that would have been a better relationship because Kyle is not toxic like Cartman.
Well done video! Ive always found Cartman entertaining, but I wanted to see Heidi kick his ass. The writers did an amazing job developing this relationship storyline. As someone in the mental health field I will add: We also see the cycle of abuse played out quite accurately: building tension an incident of abuse reconciliation calm repeat I would also say Cartman shows signs of Conduct Disorder, a precursor to sociopathy/psychopathy
I had friendships and relationships like this in high school. They were constantly discarding me to the point where I was trying to turn myself into them (which is an action I regret everyday) but I thought I was the problem until I went to therapy and my therapist was like “being discarded out of the blue and turning yourself into them in order to get them back is very common in narcissistic abusive relationships” I know that I wasn’t the problem but even now part of me thinks I was the mentally abusive one
i literally just finished these seasons and this break down is so on point, even the outlandish absurdity of some parts of their relationship - there were subtler moments that felt incredibly sinister to watch, like heidi "admitting" she was in the wrong in one of their first arguments while cartman plays with his alexa inside
I kinda miss Heidi and Eric at the beginning of them dating since they were pretty cute together and I kind of wish that their relationship improved and that it was genuine instead of them breaking up. Then again South Park couldn't continue without Cartman being Cartman.
the way matt and trey portrayed this toxic relationship was also very well done, subtle and clever not trying to like influence and manipulate south park viewers who are used to that kind of very clever way of expressing social subjects . like they never tried to manipulate or deceive the viewer to believe something 'is not this way'. excellent work
It was spot on and they did a great job of portraying multiple aspects of abusive relationships with a controlling and narcissistic partner. My ex was the EXACT same. Shed always play the victim when acting like a fucking demon, threaten suicide, etc. You eventually turn into that person and it rots your mind.
In Cartman's defense, she was super fucking annoying when they were trying to go to the pumpkin patch. Everything Blooms says still stands tho, imo. Edit: OMG best ending with the towel call. Every bad thing you can say about him is 100% warranted but God damn he is so fucking funny
I'd forgotten that part. I'm not defending his treatment of her at all, but when Butters suggested to him that women were trying to get all men sent to Mars to be enslaved, that also made Cartman start to distrust her. Before that, he was actually kind of supportive, just lying about thinking women were funny.
of course it was annoying, but no no literally stfu with that. in cartmans defense? so cartman being annoyed by heidi makes it okay to completely ruin her? that girl became the opposite of who she was because of him
Manipulative, childish, petty, protecting, all in an abuse cycle just like my toxic narcissistic ex. I can't believe I didn't understand how my ex was throwing tantrums then was getting his ways by making me feel bad... after having watched these episodes with Heidi and cartman. But I'm proud of myself for walking out.
It's funny because, even though I wouldn't say my ex was a narcissist, she had a tendency to paint herself as the victim very often, and I think that she decided to break up with me because I wasn't going along with it. Just as an example, at one point in the relationship, we've had an extended discussion about our respective insecurities; I told her that I was a bit complexed by the fact that I'm chubby, and that I could sometimes have trust issues due to some heavy personal stuff; guess what she started to do right after I told her that? She started being overly vocal about guys she found better looking than me, making sure to mention how she loved the fact that they had abs. It happened 2 times before I straight up asked her what she was trying to accomplish by doing that, she went from "well, I'm not trying to accomplish anything, that's just my humor", to "well, that's just how I am, I like seeing athletic looking men, and I have the right to express it, that doesn't mean that I would cheat on you, though", to "I do it to make you stronger, so that it'll progressively stop affecting you"...Yeah. Anyway, I decide to give her a taste of her own medicine by simply asking her how she'd react if I was acting like that everytime I saw a woman with bigger breasts than her (a thing she was really insecure about), and her face turned red. She told me that it was unfair from me to use this to attack her, that it wasn't the same thing, that her insecurities had way more weight than mine, yaddi yadda. After several minutes of explaining her how she was wrong, she simply ignored me when she had no arguments left. Still, she tried to throw it back at me several weeks later during another argument, telling me how she had been nice forgiving me after I had made fun of her breasts; of course, I reminded her how we had gotten into that situation, and that I had never made fun of her. Useless to say that she kept on doing it, I kept on getting increasingly more annoyed, and that we broke up pretty quickly.
@@na-ky8ou I'm glad you left her bro That sounds exhausting as hell. I mean, your partner should be someone who helps you get self-confident and happy of yourself. Not a constant hammer to hammer you down. I hope you find someone nice (and with bigger boobs)(i'm kidding)
Thank you for sharing the analysis of this story. I don’t think of South Park as anything but an interesting show to listen to or watch when I get home from work, but this bothered me. I always blamed myself because it was mental and only ever twice physical near the end. It hurt so much because he would give me affection then take it away then give me affection again, but a bit less, a dime amount then a nickel, then less and less. I felt like I was going crazy and called him out for never standing up for me to his friends, never just comforting me when I was sad, never texting me once we had decided we were dating after we had s*x. More and more. I cried almost every night and he said that it was inconvenient and blamed me for being the problem because if I always cried at a ‘bad time’ (usually at night and that’s also when I was usually with him). I almost ended it because it just felt like he was going to leave after he told me no one would give me as much as he did, and since he was my first it truly felt like it. He lowered my standards and only after my currently partner now held me freely when I cried for hours did I realize I deserve to be held when I’m sad. I deserve to be texted even after we have an argument (he hung up on me or didn’t want to text for a long long time unless I agreed with him or ‘wasn’t angry’ (aka didn’t argue). It hurt so much to be with him, but it hurt so much to be without him because I was alone. It was never him. It was the words that he said that I was afraid were true because I am so afraid of feeling alone.
The most toxic person in my life was someone who treated everyone horribly and was an abusive controlling raging monster, but he constantly told everyone how worthless he was and how his life meant nothing to play the victim to justify the fact he was an awful person, who then turned around and accused me of being his bully and awful to him when I finally had enough and broke it off with him
Sounds awful, so sorry you went through that ordeal. For the sake of discussion though, I feel the words toxic, abusive, and monster are often conflated without specifics which leads to a society where it's easy to demonize imperfect people who do bad things (possibly toxic) as monsters. Toxic refers to unhealth relationships or people who express bad behavior, which is a broad usage of application. Someone with bad behavior can be toxic, without necessarily being abusive or a monster.
@@Luxembourgish Well this person has burned more bridges than I can count, sends horrible messages to one of our friends over a comic he makes and all the whole pretends to be the victim in all of it
I just wanna say that this is one of my all time favorite videos. I don't know why, maybe i just like the topic of toxic relationships, maybe i just like psychology in general, maybe the video is well made, etc. What i know is that this is my 3rd or 4th time watching it, so great vid man!
Parts of that relationship too closely paralleled events in a dreadful relationship I was stuck in from 2017-2019, right as this one was playing out... We bizarrely enough met in the fall of 2016 while I was in my junior year of high school and right as season 20 was airing and Cartman & Heidi were getting close.... Looking back at it, it's so bizarre xD Whenever I'd try to leave because I deserved someone who'd actually be there for me this person would guilt trip the hell out of me for wanting a stable relationship...- Anyways, yeah this is why I loved Cartman & Heidi's relationship, it allowed me to open my eyes and take a good look at myself & how I was falling apart... :')
i was stuck in a horrible friendship with a guy who looked and acted exactly like cartman from 2017-2018 he was a sick venal man his name was deakkon i hope he fucking rots for betraying me
I was stuck in not a relationship, but a friendship. He was a Japanese boy who kept gaslighting me by saying he had abusive parents and he even saw me as his abusive mom saying i didnt care about him and victimizing himself. He was really REALLY weird giving me a condom once, threatening to make me a prostitute (believe me you cant make this shit up) and having me say... not so good japanese words and seeing very very weird Japanese things. Done with him and he victimized himself and doesn't even want to see me again for "What he did" and what I "did" but then took his apology back so I did too. Hope he fucking suffers in he'll, honestly. The only reason I stayed friends with him was because I thought I needed him to stay mentally stable at the time but it was the opposite. He was degrading my mental health and making me turn against my family. As soon as we were no longer friends he got a new fucker in a relationship instantly. Dang asshole.
It took me 6 months to realize that when my boyfriend was yelling at me for “not listening to him” he meant he was angry at me for not following every instruction he gave me. It’s good that we have videos like this to draw awareness because it really is crazy how blind you become to it in the moment.
14:49 as someone who's been in a toxic relationship I really needed this part thanks lol. I love you all and please don't settle for less settle for someone who will treat you like gold and give you the love you deserve! 😁
I now actually noticed that I was a narcissist in a relationship until I made a huge mistake and paid the price for it. The mistake you might wonder is breaking up (thinking I didn't feel anything for her) and realising later I still did. Long story short, because I was narcissistic and egotistical now almost 3 years later I still have feelings for her and she doesn't. Sucks.
I and my girlfriend actually incredibly relate to both Haidi and Cartman. It's kind of surreal and alarming. I very much relate to Cartman getting tired of Haidi. It's funny that I relate to Cartman because I was the one who got manipulated and lied to. The exhaustion isn't a sign of narcissism but it probably is a sign of lack of control. Since she would break down everytime I would not do what she wanted, makes sense why I would get exhausted upon seeing her.
I’ve been doing some research on Attachment theory and it is safe to say that Cartman definitely exhibits an Anxious Preoccupied attachment style. It’s obvious that he doesn’t have the brightest of childhoods as everyone’s attachment style is determined within the first two years of infancy. Considering his mom is the only parent, and his dad was basically MIA is a big contribution to his attachment style as most people with this attachment have a huge fear of abandonment. We can take his narcissistic and manipulative attitude as a coping mechanism from his dysfunctional childhood. For Heidi, we can see how Cartman’s manipulative attitude shifted Heidi’s attachment style from secure to anxious. With all of the abuse, with all of the neglect, with all of the amount of narcissism we can see how Heidi, once a securely attached girl who was able to securely attach to others like her friends and Cartman in the beginning was turned into a slightly Anxioud preoccupied individual. It’s important to learn about attachment theory in relationships, mostly because you can better understand yourself but also understand how others attach and how you can approach them.
The end of the Covid special did make me feel pity for Cartman but I also always like to point out how much it makes sense that the only timeline where Cartman finds joy is the one where everyone else is miserable.
What I hate about every video that talks about narcissists on the internet is that nobody is ever concerned about the narcissist, they are always trying to help the "victim", as if narcissists decided to be this way. The greater majority of narcissists don't even know what they are and can't control themselves since they obviously don't know they need help in the first place.
Thanks again to Private Internet Access VPN:
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Bro u should analyse every single character in South park , I know this will be time consuming but it doesn't have to be a deep analysis. It just means I'll have new South park content every day . Does that make me a narcissist🤔🤔🤔🤣🤣🤣
Honestly the transition between the video and the ad was very smooth
@@Prollan06 thought that myself , very slick 🤣🤣
cool
Can you check your Twitter DM's like you promised?
Worst part is Cartman was actually kind of getting better with her but he just could not help but be himself.
In fairness, Butters actually deserves part of the blame for that.
@@rhel373 Exactly right! Butters should have been grounded for interfering in people's relationship in the first place.
You cannot cure a narcissist. It's sad but true.
nah, he was only pretending.
@ I disagree, anyone can change if they really want to.
Never have I witnessed someone so beautifully describe a 4th grader’s relationship.
5th*
6th*
4th
my 7th grade relationship
Nah that’s just 2022 💀
Remember kids, if some threats to kill themselves if you break up with them or whatever. Immediately call the police and report that that person has confessed to planning to hurt themselves and you are fearful for their life. If they were serious, congratulations you got them help. If they were being a manipulative asshole they now have to deal with the consequences.
Nah, just do what I did lol.
Block em. You're gonna do it? Then do it.
@@Vase94 you could then be held accountable for their death
What If they effectively kill themselves?
@@Pisorencian that is NOT how that works 😭 if that were the case there would be a lot more parents in prison
@@FriedCiderTino it does from time to time
My mom has NPD, and it really upsets me when she proclaims her current boyfriend has "Gone mad" or "is crazy and angry", and every time I know she's manipulated and hurt them until they've snapped.
It's really sad to see her breaking their spirits
this same thing happened for my entire life with my mom always moving us with a new man
Warn them if you can
And people wonder why some people change
This is often referred to as "reactive abuse." But narcs love to call their victims "crazy, unhinged, the problem".
I've got two narc parents so I empathize 💛
read that as New Democratic Party....
Ill shut up.
Honestly I'm amazed at how well they understood and portrayed this type of relationship, very accurate
Not really but a good fan narrative
@@DeadPizza Shut up
@@DeadPizza it is very accurate because ive been in this exact situation.
@@DeadPizza are you 12?
@@DeadPizzayou are definitely 12 lmfaoo
As a therapist this is pretty much spot on. One thing I would add would be the first episode when they get in a fight and cartman walks alone and in his head it starts with Heidi saying “we need to talk, we need to communicate” and eventually morphs into her screaming at him. This is an indication that Cartman really does feel smothered and victimized by her and twists reality to make him the victim of an overbearing girlfriend when she’s just asking him to talk to her directly with a shred of honesty and vulnerability, a perfectly healthy request in a relationship. This is consistent with avoidant attachment, common with narcissists
Jesus christ yes, I loved that they added that scene. I'm pretty sure that's what went through my ex's head 24/7😂 but no fr it's a really great way to visualize that mindset.
@@heehoopeanut420 It also helps illustrate one of the common misconceptions people have about Narcissistic Personality Disorder(NPD) which cartman is probably the best depiction of in media that I’ve seen (he also has a lot of psychopathic traits as well). But one of the misconceptions is that from the outside it looks like Cartman is fully aware of what’s going on and that he’s gaslighting her and everyone else to try to get them to agree with his obviously false description of what’s going on or that he just blames other people to avoid taking responsibility and that he’s fully aware of it. But people with NPD are so distorted in their thinking that the subconscious essentially gaslights the conscious into believing it themselves and then they push that onto other. It’s difficult for people (me included when I started working) who don’t understand NPD because to the rest of, we’ve all most likely lied about something that we’re totally aware is not true, that we interpret someone with NPD doing the same thing but just on a most greater scale. Because of the narcisstic veil that Cartman has, it’s not just that he really wants or needs other people or even Heidi to believe his nonsense, he himself has to believe it and he will distort all reality to do so. Think of the ending of “Breast Cancer Show Ever” it’s not just that he needs to save face and convince people that everybody else still thinks he’s cool, he himself has to believe that everybody still thinks he’s cool and he has to distort reality to do it. I could go on about the reason cartman has NPD because that’s another misconception but I’ll spare you lol.
Heidi really needs to see a therapist. And a Psychologist too.
@@Dr.ruby7LT yup definitely, anybody who dated someone like cartman would need a lot of team and professional help to recover from it.
@@nwobringiton1282 indeed.
Tbh, Kyle was the right person for Heidi. Better than Cartman. Just saying.
This is why I appreciate South Park. They're able to be not only hilarious, but educational as well. From identifying abusive relationships, to substance over beauty, to the truth about pot, they don't hesitate to include life lessons which are legitimately valuable in real life
Can I say South Park is like Sesame Street for adults?
@@firelightyear It really is! It's funny, goofy, and educational
Some people may say the show looks lowbrow and offensive but it really gives out really good morals and lessons. And that what makes South Park special… Especially around late 2013 to late 2017...
@uɐʎꓤ G⃨ Lol _you_ sound like you're gen z or a boomer
@@BeanBag343 gen z'er here, can confirm that people in my grade literally brag about manipulating others or say ,,im so toxic heehee im a walking red flag heehee"(while also calling everyone toxic for everything ever) which isnt exactly cartman behaviour but still, goes to show how vastly accepted manipulation is
My parents were exactly like Cartman and Heidi, my dad being Cartman and my mom Heidi. My dad met her when she was vulnerable and told her everything she wanted to hear and it took 23 years for her to break it off. They (cartman,heidi, and my dad and my mom) are so alike, my dads even pulled a gun on himself when my mom tried to leave
they never do it, never ever actually end themselves god how i wish they did my step dad is the same
I'm sorry that you had to witness it as a child, and that your mother had to endure it for 23 years.....
Poor Heidi
It honestly just terrible that all of this happened to her. You are on point again on your analysis. He completely destroyed her good nature
fr, I felt bad for her through the whole arc. even though it's just a cartoon, I can't help it
@@Immortal_Fish that's good writing with research put into its topic for ya. Gotta respect it. It's why even the likes of rape victims can respect what happens in Silent Hill, myself included. It's harsh, but it does it with a realistic and respectful lense. The same is done here with the abusive relationship but the dark humour of South Park cushioning the harsh nature of it but still not enough for the message to be muddled.
Fair play to those writers and I fucking applaud it!
@@JaggedBird the creators of south park really know what they're doing when they want to be funny AND when they want to be serious
Heidi wasn't innocent either
@@ChewyChicken589 no she wasn't. Though it was mostly due to being too immature to understand and then Cartman made her worse
Before him she was fine. Your average mid teen kinda mindset
I've had a couple close female friends enter toxic relationships, and when they vent to me, I always try to get them to see reason and leave the jerk. Thankfully South Park DID make me realize one important thing: whenever I tried to get through to them, I comforted them as a friend and NEVER made them feel stupid for getting in the relationship in the first place. I liked Wendy, but damn was that a jerk thing for her and the other girls to do to Heidi.
Also, I will say that in addition to the Alexa, I thought the change between seasons was also due to the fact that Cartman could get back online without having to worry about Troll Trace (and the implication he got a new laptop and phone at some point).
Well I'm easily gonna play devils advocate coming from a guy who once had a good friend date a guy I knew was gonna be bad and didn't listen to me. I did end up right and she ended up saying terrible things that happened to her as a result. I told her so, she never listened and learned the very difficult way when she didn't need to. This guy was a gaslighter, abuser, manipulator, controller. In the heat of moments when I lost my friend cuz of this guy, I wanted karma to hit her for refusing to listen to me and even laughing in my face. I didn't feel bad given how she saw my advice. On a human level for me, no one truly deserves it but as contradictory and harsh as it sounds you should listen to ppl with your best interest and you know way better. We spoke for at least 10 months at that point. She let looks (mind u he did meth and to me did not even have good looks for a guy) dictate her decisions. Her excuses of being younger still bother me and even though we're friends still now, no way I can overlook it if I can recall it so easily. Thank god she grew up. Nonetheless, unforgivable since it should've never happened ever
@@thecamishere4344 yeah it’s Cartman… everyone knew but Heidi and they were right to let her know
In fact what the girls did contributed to Heidi coming back to Cartman. She finally got to have an actually good friend that's willing to help her, hell Kyle even managed to point out that what the girls were doing is such a jerk move, but because the girls still did it, Heidi just went back.
I wished the show gave consequences to the girls since they always gave consequences to the boys for every jerk move they do. Which is why the vegan episode was one of my favorite episodes, since they actually made the girls look flawed. (Kind of also wished they mentioned that the amount of clothes used and then discarded is also one of the biggest pollutants on Earth, as every clothing you think you're donating to someone from another country, is going to an incenerator/fire pile since they already have a surplus of it there. Like, clothes are the last thing that are direly necessary, we're able to make our own clothes too yknow. And the burned fabrics make for a very big air pollutant. Would make a good episode on the girls' tendencies to be activists and shopaholics.)
@@thecamishere4344 no matter how attractive someone is if they dont got a great personality i dont want to date them yk
My friend wouldn't leave untill he tried to rpe her. I was like. He's an asshole. You hate him. You don't even like him. You don't even find him attractive. Why are you with him.
I don't really get it to be honest sometimes.
I get when you actually love the person. And want to help them. But she didn't like him. She only saw him now and again and he was awful every time.
Cartman is a terrible person, yet I cannot stop watching his adventures with everyone.
I was so satisfied with the ending of the pandemic special. He got what he deserved
@@slimdarcy9503 i couldnt help but feel bad for some reason tho
@@Saiyan1229 Join the club. For the many who grew up or followed South Park, we DO (sort of) feel that way. WHY? Because for so long, even if we think Cartman’s a sick excuse of life, we can’t help but enjoy how he has entertained us with his crazy personality. It’s how we’re able to identify him as a brilliant character.
Now, Mr. Slim, on the other hand…
@@andrelavandero3041 yup he was a character i hated cause he was an asshole but loved at the same time. The show wouldnt have ever been the same without him. So it hit to see how he ended up
We’re in a toxic relationship too
The most tragic thing about Heidi is that as soon as she breaks up with Cartman, she is reduced again to a background character. Wouldn’t it be great to better know her character post-relationship, seeing her get past the toxic relationship she was trapped in for so long. She does not have to be a main character, but be a secondary character such as Wendy who at times has time to shine in special episodes focused around them.
They should do a special episode to give Heidi some kind of a redemption for everything that she’s been through with Cartman. She really deserves better though.
Victims of narcissism get forgotten once they are used. Poor Heidi. Even Matt and Trey abandoned her.
Can you name something about Heidi apart from being Cartman's girlfriend? She was never an interesting character on her own to justify why she needs to be cared about after the relationship with Cartman is done
@@ChildOfTheFlower Yeah exactly even if she was important for just being in a relationship with cartman then at least show the aftermath of the relationship.
As toxic as this relationship is, Satan and Saddam managed to be an even more toxic one
At least God was able to give him, and all of us, good advice and help him get out of it
Word, rip saddam hussein, satan threw him off a cliff
Damn, you managed to fit two “toxics” in one sentence
So does Stan and Wendy
@@Lighty207 poor saddam, got sent to heaven in the end
My ex pulled the “I’ll kill myself if you leave” card and by the end I laughed and told her to do it. It really does break who you are fundamentally as a person but as I watched her drink septic tank safe toilet cleaner I knew I made the right decision for myself in the end. Did I know if she knew that septic tank safe toilet cleaner had no bleach in it? It didn’t matter, I simply no longer cared. That was the ultimate freedom, that I no longer cared for this person who put me through literal Hell for 4 years of my life
“Do it if you dare, your life is in your hands, not mine”
holy fuck thats messed up.
@@CEO_of_Stutters and that’s not even the half of it, I’m just glad there is always a light at the end of every tunnel just gotta keep pushing
I replied this to a comment but I wanted to post it anyway. Cartman being extremely nice to Heidi is actually an example of love bombing which is a tactic narcissists often use to make their victims feel comfortable around them so when they are mean it’s harder for their victims to distinguish if they are actually a mean person or if they are just reasonably upset. it’s also used to gain the victims trust and manipulate them into feeling like their abuser is their only source of happiness or validation. Victims in this situation such as Heidi will often be convinced that no one besides their abuser will ever love them
Craig and Tweak is legit relationship goals
I need a gd Craig in my life rn
I love the creek
I would also like to get gaslit into being in a relationship and have my face slathered over the town.
@@IAmPainisCupcake1 they are actually pretty sweet in the game and in the future theyre still together so i would say theyre doing fine
@@IAmPainisCupcake1 Lmao they're still better than any other ships/couples in the show. Their relationship is better than the most adults 💀
I did this to my last ex, and I was completely unaware that my insecurities drove me to justify anything to get my way. I never thought I was wrong.
I love and miss her so much I wish she could see the improvements and I could apologize.
Get therapy, and self improve people.
Yeesh
It's great that you are seeking therapy. Make sure you don't repeat that same thing again if you care about people. If you catch yourself doing it, correct yourself immediately. That kind of behavior is devastating to people around you. Good luck!
@@raditzhoneyham calm down yeesher
Yeah... I sadly have reached that low to emberass myself and need therapy...
Bro just let her go, if you’re getting better only to try to convince her you’ve changed, you’re being creepy and not actually focusing on yourself.
I know that there's obviously so many factors in why people do what Cartman did to Heidi. But a part of me will never truly understand how people can genuinely be like "Hey, this person treats me nicely. I'm going to treat them like absolute shit."
It’s not necessarily with that intent, but rather a search for pleasure for oneself, a narcacist doesn’t really see what he does to people. I’ve been in toxic relationships and I gotta say it’s awful but also gives you a kick from time to time. Narcacist only search for that kick I recon and don’t care about the other person.
He liked her and wanted her to like him so he faked being progressive and not racist and eventually he let his real self show but this would make her leave, so to control her he had to force her to become like him
they genuinely believe the things they say about how they're the victims.
@@cmonman1407 They know very well what they do. And they enjoy it.
I feel like when you have a narcissist disorder, it’s not about the other person. It’s really about making yourself feel better. Kind of like if you say something funny other people laugh, it makes you feel good. It feeds the narcissist ego to cause that kind of pain I think. At least that is what I have learned kind of from my dad. He only really reaches out when he is lonely or whatever. Otherwise not very much in my life and doesn’t even communicate with me. The minute he got divorced he missed me so much and blah blah blah. Get out of here with that crap. I moved out of his house when I was 15 and my 22nd birthday is coming up so he can take all his love and choke on it.
i was just like this with my first girlfriend. i’m so happy i took the time to realize my genuine narcissistic and abusive behavior and better myself. fellas, treat good women that love you like gold. i still wish i could apologize properly, not like a manipulator.
As a woman who was previously in a relationship like the one you're describing, all you can do is offer your genuine condolences. Don't try to start a whole conversation, don't try to get back with her, and don't deflect the blame. If you want to apologize, just know that the apology in this case isn't to "make things right" with her, as she isn't required to have you in your life. It might provide some closure for you, though, if you were to apologize for what you did.
I wish the best of luck to you, and I'm so grateful that you were able to better yourself.
@@rykerwilder1863 i thank you for your kind words but this relationship was over 4 years ago. her and i both have since moved on, i’ve actually been in a successful healthy relationship for 2 years now.
@@ryanlopez3349 Congratulations!!! I'm so happy for both of you. :)
Thanks for your story. Makes me feel like there's hope for me yet.
There’s no need to apologize...no point in reopening old wounds reaching out to her, surely you know it hurts her to have those kind of reminders even if it’s with good intent. And if you don’t reach out then you don’t sound like a manipulator...you’ve made it up to her by improving yourself, I’m sure in the end that’s really what she wanted to happen, a lot of women stay with their toxic partner hoping they can help them change but that’s something one can only achieve within themselves. There has to be motivation to change, and if she didn’t leave you then you probably wouldn’t have had that motivation to change...that’s why you shouldn’t apologize. You should be grateful to her for snapping you out of that mess and pat yourself on the back for doing the work it takes to change!
I love that south park, a show that's been running since the 90's that's supposed to be a complete joke, a parody of itself, still does an way better job at displaying real life issues than most modern shows that are supposed to be taken "seriously". To me this only shows the way SP has aged gracefully, evolving without losing it's initial spark.
Crazy how well this describes my ex wife. She played me like a fiddle. Destroyed all my relationships by convincing everyone I was abusive. Then while I was weakest and too afraid to fight back, she took my son from me. Thats 6 years gone. For nothing.
My mother acts like a narcissist so I relate at a different angle, sure she does act like she's schizophrenic as well but that doesn't mean it's not a possibility to have a co-morbid disorder of narcissistic personality disorder.
I of course digress: she would abuse my father in ways that caused me so much stress in my childhood. She's emotionally abusive and she has given my youngest sister PTSD as told by my sister's counselor.
My father put up with this for 18 roughly 20 years of it all.
that's... rough, damn
I hope you get your son back soon man, thats terrible for you
Cartman and Heidi relationship not working 😕
Fuck that bitch...when will people realize that men can be abused too? That honestly sucks so much shit bro I hope you’re doing better
This is an older video, but I still wanted to comment.
I really appreciated how Kyle pointed out that part of the problem was everyone shaming and mocking Heidi for staying with Cartman.
One of the reasons why so many people stay with their abusers is because they feel ashamed for even being in that situation, or because they want to prove that they aren't a victim/made a mistake like everyone is telling them.
I see a lot of people, especially in the age of crypto scams, saying "oh, they deserved to be scammed," or "it's their fault for being so stupid to get into that situation in the first place," when comments like that are one of the things keeping victims from speaking up or changing their behavior.
Whenever I see people say things like that, I know that they don't actually care about helping people or seeing people lead better lives.
The fact that Heidi was so close to cutting Cartman out of her life, only for her "friends" to be the one who ultimately pushed her back into that relationship (despite Kyle warning them that their behavior was part of the issue) was so heartbreaking for me.
Butters also deserves part of the blame for putting doubt into Cartman's mind.
in my opinion this is the worst thing cartman has ever done, even worse than killing scott tenorman’s parents and feeding them to him. theres a degree of reality and seriousness about him and heidi’s relationship that makes it more terrifying, maybe personally to me since i was in an emotionally, physically and sexually abusive relationship with a narcissist. cartman and heidi’s relationship is extremely terrifying because i and many others have felt the way heidi’s mental state deteriorates and warps because of cartman, defending him when youre criticised because he was the only person there when you were vulnerable, losing the identity of the person you used to be. i know exactly what she felt in the relationship and after the relationship, the poor girl is gonna need YEARS of therapy in order to be somewhat functioning in a relationship. at the same time i feel seen that someone in media feels the same way i do, i just sort of wish they also delved into what she went through to recover.
I respectfully disagree because even after he found out he indirectly killed his own father and butchered his body, his only concern and show of emotions was for the fact that he carried the recessive ginger gene
Damn, being toxic in a relationship is worse than killing someone and feeding them to other people.
Worse than feeding a kid his parents?
@@pingwinner_ Bitches be this crazy because their ex made them feel bad
@@dxfifa stop, please stop.
When I was younger, my brother told me that if you stay in a toxic relationship long enough you'll lose yourself because of it. I didn't know what he meant until I saw Cartman and Heidi's relationship played out, Cartman is a monster and deserves nothing but what he got at the end of the Post-Covid spinoff
I honestly love how grounded in reality this whole plotline was (as much as South Park can be anyway), and that it was taken seriously throughout. Much better than some other shows I can think of... *cough* family guy *cough*
Matt and Trey hate Family Guy vehemently
@@dandytv1510 I agree with them
It's biggest flaw is a recurring theme of toxic dysfunctional families being the norm/realistic
My dad is a textbook Narcissist. A lot of the things explained in this video align almost perfectly with my dad's behaviors and sounds a lot like how my mom describes her experiences when they were still married. I'm glad they made an episode about this, because most people don't recognize these behaviors soon enough and end up trapped in the cycle.
I was really hoping you were going to talk about this relationship dynamic! I think it is the best encapsulation of how people get in and out of narcissistic relationships. I survived one and the greatest gift they can give you is showing you how to identify them in everyday life so you know how to avoid them and keep them out of your life. Great video, dude!
Given the time the episode came out, their relationship could also reflect the mindset of the typical Trump supporter, or one that simply voted for him. They cling to the narcissistic pumpkin-head and his ideals because they don't want to admit they made a mistake, especially when the left neo-liberals constantly ridicule and scrutinize them for it, and adopt the victim mentality to avoid taking any kind of responsibility.
@@Delta_Aves Yes, exactly! Matt and Trey bring that up during the season 21 commentary that Heidi represents the regretful Trump voter who backed the wrong guy out of feeling ignored/dismissed for so long only to find out they’re supporting a monstrous asshole and further plant their heels in the ground when they are ridiculed by leftists, alienating them further. Highly recommend checking out the commentary for it on UA-cam if you haven’t seen it yet!
@@Delta_Aves the character in the "token's life matters" t-shirt represents trump?
Not to get political or anything but Beyonce had one of the best music videos of all time
@@gangstalker9 Thank you for saying what some aren’t brave enough to say.
I once went through a friendship like this, and honestly it is a shocking thing to witness and go through. You don’t realize your going through it until you look back, and it’s really hard to detach yourself from that person.
A lot of the things on the Narcissistic things listed on the Healthline article are normal. It was also written by a self described "meal-prepping, CrossFitting, New York-based wellness writer." with no Psychology credentials.
1. They were charming AF… at first (A lot of relationships start off exciting, and sour over time)
5. They don’t have any or many long-term friends (Some people just have trouble maintaining friends due to a number of reasons)
8. They dance around defining the relationship (Some people have trouble with commitment or mixed feelings, it could be immaturity or insecurity rather than narcissism)
10. They panic when you try to break up with them (This is extremely normal. Most people are devastated when their loved one breaks up with them and can very often cause panic attacks)
The problem with pop psychology articles is people will read them and see the matching criteria then think "Oh no, I'm an evil narcissist!" or "They're an evil narcissist!", when an actual psychologist is needed to decipher the criteria in depth.
Yea there were some questionable things in the article, which is why I tried to only include the things that I saw in other articles and research that I knew for a fact could be a sign
It's kind of a chicken and egg situation. These traits don't make you a narcissist but narcissists do often have these traits. It would have been better if the 9 diagnostic criterias for NPD were referred to in this video. It's the context of the behaviour that matters here.
Holy crap, I have everyone of those in a lot of relations with people, this is bad
I think the reason why Cartman keeps Heidi around is actually to do with the fact that he has what Kyle wants. This pissing Kyle off immensely
Yeah, Kyle was the best boyfriend for Heidi. Better than that fatass demon. Just for the record of mine. Also, I’m a Kydi shipper.
In my opinion I think Cartman genuinely liked her for a bit. I mean, at that time he got all his devices destroyed and he was devastated. Cartman exaggerates all his emotions but the exaggeration is still genuine. At the time he probably felt betrayed and then Heidi came up and flashed him, so he probably had an idealized and maybe biased? "perfect" vision of Heidi and fell in love with her. Cartman probably had a worse if not already shit vision of the other guys so Heidi was probably a gift to him at the moment. I mean, through out the season he didn't use her, and if he did, it wasn't for himself. Whenever Cartman would use or manipulate someone it would usually be because he wanted something, but he didn't have a reason to use her. Cartman isn't the type of person who would go out of his way doing all that just for nothing, but if he genuinely liked Heidi, it would make sense. Plus, he even began to be appreciative to the boys for destroying his devices and stated he was happier with Heidi. It wouldn't make sense for that to be an act, because what would be the point of it? AND he would definitely have a burning rage for the boys nonetheless, unless he was actually appreciative. Most importantly, If you take in mind that he thought Heidi was a fake and lost all interest for her right when he found out that Heidi wasn't as funny as he thought, it wouldn't make sense if he DIDN'T actually think she was smart and funny before. I think the relationship was genuinely I guess you could say "healthy" at the moment, but after that he definitely was a manipulative assfuck to her and the whole relationship turned in to a somehow even bigger abomination.
so many ppl go thru the same situation too, at first its all love and happiness, especially if one or the other (or both) were to lovebomb. i think cartman rlly did like heidi and saw her as the perfect gf until one thing happens and then his whole vision of her falls apart, which causes things to just start rolling down from there. Since the perfect image of her is now tearing apart, he sees who she really is, and that shes not as awesome and different as he once thought. + he probably jumped to conclusions which is why he believed she was a fake. Obviously Heidi gave his ego a boost, yk having a girlfriend who stuck with him through everything, which he basically got used to being able to hurt her and say wtv he wants and have her stay/come back every single time.
I’ve heard that for narcissists, when it comes to relationships they really do feel genuine love at first...but then one day it’s like a switch is flipped, and they just can’t love you anymore
@@normanorman ur so right omfg, their whole mindset changes
"flashed him" lol
Cartman having all of his devices destroyed in Season 20 is pretty much one of the rare times, anyone, or even me at least, I do feel sorry for him. He just got accused of being Skankhunt42 and all of the devices he had got wrecked by the other South Park boys.
Really that's the problem with Cartman and why I find baffling that people blame Kyle for his life ending as it did. It's not the boys who made him like that, but that's how Cartman is. He latches onto anyone and try to denigrate others to feel better about himself, to make himself believe he's the "kewl" kid.
He was only able to put his life in order in the lockdown, not because Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Butters were a bad influence on him, but because the pandemic starved him of that self gratification that only comes with putting others down. And even as much of a hero as Rabbi Cartman was in the end, traces of the sociopath could still be felt when he convinced Clyde into killing kid Kyle, talking about something awful without a tinge of guilt, while conveniently keeping his hands clean.
Wow, kids in the show portray an abusive relationship better than movies and other TV shows nowadays. Toxic relationships nowadays on television become more dramatic with the overacting. I think South Park did it in a way that is so believable.
It’s so sad that Hollywood has to glamorize abusive relationships. South Park just goes straight to the point. Matt and Trey really have done their homework for sure.
They didn’t do their homework, they were the whole ass teacher
@@sc3n3slvt_ hmm. Maybe for those to learn about abusive relationships. I agree with them being teachers in this case :)
Also, in movies and such you SEE physical abuse. A slap, rape, or some kind of visual.
And that leads people to think that when there's abuse there's physical abuse. And it doesnt have to be like this
As some one who has lived with a narcissist for 6 years, it can ruin your life. Eventually you lose every piece of yourself, until you either break apart or become worse than your abuser.
If you see any signs, any at all, get out while you still can. These type of people cant be rationalized with, leave them to rot among themselves, they'll die alone while you remain happy.
Dated a narcissist for almost 5 years (and yes I'm embarrassed but it's a slow acceptance of abuse and things were super terrible but still convinced myself I deserved it because the way I was manipulated and controlled and just stayed because I wanted to work things out until I finally snapped, light bulb hit with what was going on, was able to cut the trauma bond and left) and it's crazy how similar he was to Cartman. Actually, he was way smoother than Cartman and way more abusive. But I appreciated the relationship being represented on screen because in recent years I've seen more acknowledgement about narcissism and what it means to be in this type of relationship. Spoiler alert: it's the worst and you feel like you're going nuts. But it's the hardest to detect. So I applaud the fact this type of toxic relationship is getting more traction because it is NOT just being a selfish prick, it's so much more complicated as we see Heidi change, since many didn't even believe me because my narc, like Cartman, would outwardly confess how great he was and try to prove it. The love bombing, gaslighting, back and forth, Cartman making fun of Heidi behind her back, trying to make her "undersirable" (fat) so she'd be even more dependent on him, and so much more, it's all calculated. I still to this day have no idea if they are 100% aware about what they are doing, or if it's both a conscious and unconscious thing. It's wild. But I do believe these types of people will never change and their abuse really is almost worse than physical. Lots of times I wished I was beaten instead of mentally playing gymnastics because I felt like what was going on wasnt real, your world is turned upside down, you start questioning everything, your personality changes, and worse yet, siding with your abuser willingly! At least bruises would have been easier to see proof of, for others to see and for myself (but am in no way saying ANY type of abuse is ever okay). But all I can say is narcs mentally break you if you're not prepared for this kind of person or you're inexperienced. Everyone going through this right now, man or woman: from someone who struggled to get over the lasting abuse and PTSD after the breakup for over year, it gets better. So much better. And you should 100% take that uncomfortable leap and end it, because although it was painful, I knew I deserved better and if not now, when? You're future self will thank you. And yes, you'll find someone 100% better for you. And you'll also love YOURSELF 100% more later too. After healing, I couldn't believe how far I fell and had let someone just abuse me so much. At the time I couldn't really understand or see it. But it's not healthy and you know deep down your gut has always been saying "this isn't right". Trust. Your. Gut. I should have trusted mine, not my heart. My heart was wrooooong. That wasn't love that was a trauma bond!
And yes. The narc will get his karma. The gf after me reached out after a year of dating him to tell me (she knew my name because my abuser mfed me telling everyone I was still crazy so she looked me up lol) that my old abuser abused her as well and said he was nuts and felt like she was going crazy. And I know he'll do it again too. It's a pattern. And it's not you, it's them. Trust me karma will catch up to them.
Got a friend of mine dating what I would call a narcissist I spent months of my life me and two other friends trying to make him grow a brain and let her go but he didn’t budge I gave up on him. Even though I don’t talk to him about her anymore I still wish he would break up with her he deserves so much better.
I know a narcissist who became self aware of what he was doing and he said he wasn’t fully conscious of it. Like it didn’t register that his behavior was really toxic because it was done in an effort to “protect” himself. The manipulation was like a defense mechanism and had become second nature, like he knew at some level he was manipulative but he never questioned if his behavior wasnt normal. To him the only thing that mattered was to protect the inner insecure child that just insatiably craves love, acceptance, and control. Because when he had those things he felt safe. And the more people pushed against him the more he’d fall into the manipulative behavioral patterns. He said it took him years of introspection to fully realize and come to terms with it and he still struggles with falling into those behavior patterns but since he’s aware of what he is most of the time he’s able to catch his mind when it starts doing all the manipulative calculations. I feel bad for him because I know he had a lot of childhood trauma and he’s wasn’t a bad person per se, like he seemed like wanted to be a good person he was just was trapped inside those patterns of behavior. That was his experience at least idk but I’m guessing the level of awareness changes based on the levels of sociopathy or psychopathy so maybe your ex was different idk.
I was in that same situation, I'm still traumatized. I can't make friends nor talk to anyone because of it. Honestly wished I never met him.
Karma is not real.
Just consequences 💁
@@Taylor_Rae yeah that's extremely extremely rare for someone to be self aware. 99% of narcs are also sociopaths and don't see an issue with their actions. But I applaud the guy you know because that's one less person abusing someone and he's really trying.
Idk if my narc had a lot of trauma he just seemed hateful even as a kid. He just wanted to hate everyone including himself and idk what was lacking in his life to make him like that, although his dad was abusive. His sister didn't turn out anything like her brother. she actually realized her toxic behaviors and her dad and improved and she's what we consider "normal" and actually above normal because she took the time to improve herself (but never had personality disorders.) The brother, my narc tho, def had issues and that's like where I wonder if some sort of trauma + gene you're born with determines how fucked up you are. But yeah no my ex will never be self aware 😂 he will always be an empty shell and seek validation from jumping from relationship to relationship and if and when he does settle down, I will feel sorry for his wife and kids cause I know he def won't go to therapy. He used everything against everyone as ammo unfortunately.
I’ve been in a narcissistic abusive relationship, and I was Heidi. You very accurately described what it’s like to be in a relationship like that. It’s something I’m still recovering from, and I still have trust issues.
But for anyone reading: it does get better. And I’m glad South Park did this.
I haven’t watched South Park for the past several seasons, but thanks to this video, I’m going to watch them. Thanks for doing what do you mate.
I don’t know if I’d say cartman’s constant gushing over Heidi at the start was all an act. I do think he was exaggerating be it to show off his relationship (mainly to Kyle) or bc he was “woke” at the time. There was a definite change in Cartman once Heidi flashed him. (ex: him confronting butters over his wieners out movement) Even though Cartman was totally fucking around with the “women are funny” stuff at first, he rlly did like Heidi and wanted to be good to her. But after butters’ incel influence and cartman’s own awful personality creeping in, it became toxic. We know from stuff like Cupid Cartman that Cartman genuinely loves romance in his own strange way. But like he told Scott malkinson in season 23, love wasn’t as great for him as he thought. Like romance itself, Cartman had this idealized version of Heidi in his head and once he realized she wasn’t perfect, it all went down the drain for him.
I kinda blame Kyle bro the relationship was good untill, Kyle made a threat about exposing Cartmans old self, makin it easier for butters to convince him
@@justjayyandere2144 Kyle and Butters both planted seeds of doubt in Cartman but I think it was kinda inevitable he would've turned against Heidi anyway w/ how fragile his perception was.
But it's kinda funny how at that point there wasn't much of a reason for kyle to threaten cartman's relationship (besides spite lol) since cartman at that point was good to heidi. kyle rlly just can't accept cartman being happy, can he?
Cartman became extremely toxic when he got access to the internet
@@justjayyandere2144 If you blamed Kyle I think you should mostly blame his Dad for it...
Cartman being extremely nice to Heidi is actually an example of love bombing which is a tactic narcissists often use to make their victims feel comfortable around them so when they are mean it’s harder for their victims to distinguish if they are actually a mean person or if they are just reasonably upset. it’s also used to gain the victims trust and manipulate them into feeling like their abuser is their only source of happiness or validation. Victims in this situation such as Heidi will often be convinced that no one besides their abuser will ever love them
Watching Cartman and Heidi reminds me so much of my ex and me. It makes me so sad because I know EXACTLY how she feels. Also that scene where she’s out with her friends and they’re laughing at her and asking what she was thinking for dating him… that one hit HARD 🥺😭
Heidi deserves better tbh
Should've gotten with Kyle
@@thetoot9615 realest thing ever
Understatement of the century
Kyle is a better boyfriend for her. Better than that fata** demon.
I actually experienced this myself. It took me 9 months to leave. He would constantly threaten to hurt himself. He called me cringe for defending myself. Any interest I had that he didn't like would be torn apart and called horrible
I feel so lonely without him being honest. But lonely is better then that shit other feeling he was giving me.
My condolences 🙏
I think Fat Heidi should've been in more episodes to give cartman a taste of his own medicine
It was also just really entertaining in general. South park needs more female characters that aren't just background pieces.
true tbh
@@KatarinaBohtana amen brother🙏
Nah I would prefer if she weren’t fat and hating on cartman to no end
A dated a sociopath and it was just like this. Came to my aid when I was going through a hard time, doted on me before suddenly and completely cold to me. Ended up making me act just as crazy as him cause I decided to stoop to his level and be petty after our break up (well after I realized how bad he was after our break up cause for a couple months after it I was still obsessed with him) cause I didn’t want to look weak or like he still had a hold on me, resulting in me pushing or driving everyone away. It also didn’t hurt (well, actually it did) that he was an adult and I was barely 16. It’s an absolutely awful thing to go through but luckily instead of judging me for ever dating him despite the red flags my friends were there for me. But now we can joke about how stupid I was for dating him. He wasn’t a narcissist though, he was a sociopath so he also did impulsive and dangerous things like drugs and fighting and generally reckless shit. And being alot older than cartman you know there was sexual exploitation involved. After the fact I learned he apparently had fantasies about killing women he’s dating. The whole time I was in imminent danger and didn’t even know it. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through and it kills me that he’s still out there able to continue preying on young girls cause it’s the most painful thing and was beyond damaging, and you know one day he’ll just snap and seriously hurt someone. Especially if he’s on drugs. I wouldn’t be surprised if he showed up on a true crime podcast one day. Anyway, this is a great video, very accurate, and brings light to a real serious subject that needs to be talked about more. To bring awareness and help keep people from these toxic relationships.
How the fuck did you end up in a relationship with the 21-year-old at 16 and are you the boy or the girl and where is this
She's one of the characters I hope comes back in different ways in the future. She was a great character and I hope we see her in season 25
I really like Heidi's character as well.
Lol lmao
Heidi totally deserves better, more than ever❤️🩹
tweek and Craig’s relationship is the healthiest tbh
yes
I don't 100 percent agree with it but they are a pretty good pair
wow! This was me at 16 with my 21 year old girlfriend. I actually confronted her years later: "..... you're lucky I didn't kill you for that!"
bro was she grooming you?
FBI…
That is grooming. Jesus christ.
Assuming you’re from the UK?
Sorry you went through that, she was a creepo
I actually went through this myself.
From the beginning I felt something wasn’t right away.
I had to study all the way I was being manipulated and gaslighted. I was in the relationship for about a year. And that situation can really mix you up.
It's kind of surreal going back to older episodes and seeing Heidi in the background, especially if Cartman's there.
In the ep "follow that egg", heidi and cartman were even paired up to take care of an egg together
I find this too.
Frankly, I do like this. It’s a little extreme but it’s nice to see Heidi recover.
Frankly, that whole “if you paint yourself as the victim, you can get away with anything” idea feels like it happens a lot in 2010’s storytelling. Especially when it comes to villain redemption.
i always found the whole cartman and heidi plotline kinda boring
it was also a bit infuriating that the next season after that there was absolutely no acknowledgement of it. and heidi was completely irrelevant from that point onward, just like she always was. that says to me that she wasn't chosen as an underused background character to flesh out, but a tool to exacerbate cartman's shenanigans again, and to generally mess around with because they can easily put that character back into obscurity with little consequence.
Well, she’s not in his life anymore. And a guy like Cartman would never acknowledge her existence ever again.
I mean the show has been on so long, sometimes characters won't have a line for 10 or 15 seasons and then come back and be the focus of several episodes. I suspect we will see Heidi again at some point. She is still part of the girls cliche in the school. I mean there's only been maybe a dozen episodes since they broke up.
@@jpmnky I was in a relationship like this and my ex has not once acknowledged my existence since. I was erased. Not unhappy about it
The Heidi and Cartman relationship was brought up in the epìsode Basic Cable, which is the last normal episode that South Park got (just before the specials).
@@Arfadoz Thats true.
It really does suck how Heidi’s relationship with Eric turned out, because she could have been an amazing partner to Kyle. Kyle is everything Heidi needed in her moment of need. While Eric meet her on unluckily terms, Kyle really got to know her when she was seeking help. He listened to her, encouraged her, and told her the right path to take, and to get away from Cartman before it was too late. But Eric is one another level of evil. Just the same, he’s another level of narcissist. I would go even futher and say he’s in another league of his own compared to psychopath. He’s just a walking destructive machine and everyone from his mother to his girlfriend, to his “friends” can all be his next victims because they don’t do what he says. Eric just wants slaves really. He just wants to sit behind a big iron throne and watch people die for entertainment. But he’s character is all to real and what he does allows us to see the true nature of evil.
Tbh, Kyle was the best boyfriend for Heidi. Better than that fatass demon.
Imagine finding a pair of panties that doesn't belong to you plus condoms and your bf says it's your fault you should be going through his stuff...I was trying to clean up. I got yelled at and end up apologizing. I have had it !
Okay I have no clue if this is fake or not nor do I want evidence but here is some advice in case this is in fact true- Please break up with him or something- Get yourself out of that kind of environment. I am just some normal ordinary south park fan but- You shouldn't have had apologized or had been yelled at, He shouldve been the one explaining himself. Not you. You were trying to do something nice and it got taken as offense because you found something that concerned you. I really hope he has an actual explanation for this or that this hasn't been a continuing thing but you shouldn't put your trust or time in this if questioning something results in them yelling at you and blaming you for being concerned about something they left out.
@@pumpkin6809 thank you gir your advice the story is true unfortunately I didn't record the situation cause it would of gotten violent. It's day 2 and I have not gotten over it. I told him we need time apart then flips out AGAIN ! You are right he should've been more responsible. Hid excuse was he hasn't cleaned up in over a year I'm like you go through that draw everyday, how could you have not seen it? No matter how nice or pissed off I explain to him he will never take responsibility. I'm turned off so bad. Like Kyle and Stan I learned something today! Thank you !
@@teresiaemma433 I hope you do well get away from him
I experienced something like this when I was younger, and I was honestly surprised by how accurate SP got with it. Cartman's go-to threat was what they used as well, so it struck a horrifying chord.
Doubling Down is one of the best episodes I've seen to date.
The part when she yells to Kyle saying "who's being being manipulated? He's great we're doing great" you can tell cartman already had her wrapped around his finger :(
This is a pretty good breakdown. And it shows Matt and Tray are talented enough as writers to convey this well enough that someone can look back and breakdown the entire process. And that they can do it in a way to keep it in sync with the show.
Not all persons with NPD are abusive and not all abusive persons have NPD.
Another great analysis, I love seeing these Cartman psychology videos, because his character, his life and relationships are just so fun to see a deep dive on. Keep up the great work man.
Honestly, I was surprised South Park tackled this kind of relationship as most people are still under a belief that if the person isn’t hitting you, it’s not an abusive relationship. My ex was like Cartman during our whole relationship and I still felt like it was my fault even after we broke up. Surprisingly, seeing the relationship between Cartman and Heidi made me really understand that I wasn’t the problem and the best I can do is just move on from the hell I’ve been through.
Cartman and Heidi could been South Park version of Joker and Harley Quinn
Love these South Park videos they really display mental health and issues better than most of other tv shows do this shows a narcissistic relationship in a realistic way
i strangely appreciate seeing representation of toxic relationships like these, especially in my favourite show, as someone who has been in heidi’s shoes, it really spoke to me, especially the speech that she made when she was finally ending things with cartman, it’s crazy how accurate and spot on they represented these kinds of relationships, and it shows how south park can really help people, it helped me especially, it showed me that i shouldn’t blame myself and that sometimes there are just terrible people that won’t change, i love how they tackle real issues like this in a very real way, not sure how to end this but yeah, that’s my thoughts on it lol, great video man! :)
As horrible as this relationship was, I actually think that they had potential for a interesting dynamic. Maybe Heidi could've been used as a way to explore a softer side of cartman. It could be funny if he was an asshole to everyone else but Heidi is the only one that could tame him and put him in his place. But I guess yendl sorta had that effect on him. Having him act like an abuser isn't a surprise since it's cartman lol. But yeah, I need to get a life and stop rambling about fictional characters lol.
I think there is to much of that already in media, the good girl gets with the bad boy that is only good to her, but he's still bad! I think that it doesn't help and it makes these women think that they just need to reach the good in them, and that will make all the bad just go away when they show how good he really is! That he was a misunderstood soul that deserves a chance, and I for one am glad that someone showed a more realistic view on a relationship like that. We need more!
Kinda like with the dog charmer episode but as a recurring character?
Do y’all remember Eric was actually happy and rehabilitating with Heidi then Butters ruined everything by being an incel? Eric was super wholesome and then that shiz happened
THANK YOU. I feel like people forget this a lot, and I'm very sure it's because they obsess over how cute Butters is and forgets he has flaws!
The first time I saw cartman's and Heidi's relationship I was thinking oh this is cute you know cartman's finally getting a girlfriend for the first time he might change his persona and his personality and then after realizing what he has done to Heidi and what he did Cartman is Cartman he never changes maybe this makes sense Hawaiian post covid makes sense why he became a rabbi and married a different woman because there's a reason for that because Heidi was so toxic with him and he just messed it up. And at one point Kyle try to get with Heidi and I feel like that would have been a better relationship because Kyle is not toxic like Cartman.
Well done video! Ive always found Cartman entertaining, but I wanted to see Heidi kick his ass. The writers did an amazing job developing this relationship storyline. As someone in the mental health field I will add: We also see the cycle of abuse played out quite accurately:
building tension
an incident of abuse
reconciliation
calm
repeat
I would also say Cartman shows signs of Conduct Disorder, a precursor to sociopathy/psychopathy
Sometimes the worst thing a narcissistic psychopath can be is nice and caring.
I had friendships and relationships like this in high school. They were constantly discarding me to the point where I was trying to turn myself into them (which is an action I regret everyday) but I thought I was the problem until I went to therapy and my therapist was like “being discarded out of the blue and turning yourself into them in order to get them back is very common in narcissistic abusive relationships” I know that I wasn’t the problem but even now part of me thinks I was the mentally abusive one
I like the episode where Wendy thought she loved him and knew she was just not into him but he actually felt bad at the end that he was not loved..
i literally just finished these seasons and this break down is so on point, even the outlandish absurdity of some parts of their relationship - there were subtler moments that felt incredibly sinister to watch, like heidi "admitting" she was in the wrong in one of their first arguments while cartman plays with his alexa inside
How South Park managed to write an abusive relationship better then most shows out there shows the show is well written
I kinda miss Heidi and Eric at the beginning of them dating since they were pretty cute together and I kind of wish that their relationship improved and that it was genuine instead of them breaking up. Then again South Park couldn't continue without Cartman being Cartman.
Ok
Always a good day when blooms uploads.
the way matt and trey portrayed this toxic relationship was also very well done, subtle and clever not trying to like influence and manipulate south park viewers who are used to that kind of very clever way of expressing social subjects . like they never tried to manipulate or deceive the viewer to believe something 'is not this way'. excellent work
It was spot on and they did a great job of portraying multiple aspects of abusive relationships with a controlling and narcissistic partner.
My ex was the EXACT same. Shed always play the victim when acting like a fucking demon, threaten suicide, etc. You eventually turn into that person and it rots your mind.
i love how intuitive the creators are. they KNOW what they’re doing with cartman. it’s insane how accurate this is.
In Cartman's defense, she was super fucking annoying when they were trying to go to the pumpkin patch. Everything Blooms says still stands tho, imo. Edit: OMG best ending with the towel call. Every bad thing you can say about him is 100% warranted but God damn he is so fucking funny
I honestly felt kinda bad for him lol
The only situation where I was on cartmans side in this relationship (to an extent, trying to kill her is obvi going to far)
I'd forgotten that part. I'm not defending his treatment of her at all, but when Butters suggested to him that women were trying to get all men sent to Mars to be enslaved, that also made Cartman start to distrust her. Before that, he was actually kind of supportive, just lying about thinking women were funny.
@@phoule76 OH, he's pressin' pickle!
of course it was annoying, but no no literally stfu with that. in cartmans defense? so cartman being annoyed by heidi makes it okay to completely ruin her? that girl became the opposite of who she was because of him
Manipulative, childish, petty, protecting, all in an abuse cycle just like my toxic narcissistic ex. I can't believe I didn't understand how my ex was throwing tantrums then was getting his ways by making me feel bad... after having watched these episodes with Heidi and cartman. But I'm proud of myself for walking out.
It's funny because, even though I wouldn't say my ex was a narcissist, she had a tendency to paint herself as the victim very often, and I think that she decided to break up with me because I wasn't going along with it.
Just as an example, at one point in the relationship, we've had an extended discussion about our respective insecurities; I told her that I was a bit complexed by the fact that I'm chubby, and that I could sometimes have trust issues due to some heavy personal stuff; guess what she started to do right after I told her that? She started being overly vocal about guys she found better looking than me, making sure to mention how she loved the fact that they had abs. It happened 2 times before I straight up asked her what she was trying to accomplish by doing that, she went from "well, I'm not trying to accomplish anything, that's just my humor", to "well, that's just how I am, I like seeing athletic looking men, and I have the right to express it, that doesn't mean that I would cheat on you, though", to "I do it to make you stronger, so that it'll progressively stop affecting you"...Yeah.
Anyway, I decide to give her a taste of her own medicine by simply asking her how she'd react if I was acting like that everytime I saw a woman with bigger breasts than her (a thing she was really insecure about), and her face turned red. She told me that it was unfair from me to use this to attack her, that it wasn't the same thing, that her insecurities had way more weight than mine, yaddi yadda. After several minutes of explaining her how she was wrong, she simply ignored me when she had no arguments left.
Still, she tried to throw it back at me several weeks later during another argument, telling me how she had been nice forgiving me after I had made fun of her breasts; of course, I reminded her how we had gotten into that situation, and that I had never made fun of her.
Useless to say that she kept on doing it, I kept on getting increasingly more annoyed, and that we broke up pretty quickly.
@@na-ky8ou I'm glad you left her bro
That sounds exhausting as hell. I mean, your partner should be someone who helps you get self-confident and happy of yourself. Not a constant hammer to hammer you down.
I hope you find someone nice (and with bigger boobs)(i'm kidding)
Even though the new storylines and seasons aren't my favorite, I can't lie this is a Amazing analysis.Please do more South Park psychology episodes.
Yeah do a psychology episode on the Photoshop vs Wendy episode.
Thank you for sharing the analysis of this story. I don’t think of South Park as anything but an interesting show to listen to or watch when I get home from work, but this bothered me.
I always blamed myself because it was mental and only ever twice physical near the end. It hurt so much because he would give me affection then take it away then give me affection again, but a bit less, a dime amount then a nickel, then less and less. I felt like I was going crazy and called him out for never standing up for me to his friends, never just comforting me when I was sad, never texting me once we had decided we were dating after we had s*x. More and more. I cried almost every night and he said that it was inconvenient and blamed me for being the problem because if I always cried at a ‘bad time’ (usually at night and that’s also when I was usually with him).
I almost ended it because it just felt like he was going to leave after he told me no one would give me as much as he did, and since he was my first it truly felt like it. He lowered my standards and only after my currently partner now held me freely when I cried for hours did I realize I deserve to be held when I’m sad. I deserve to be texted even after we have an argument (he hung up on me or didn’t want to text for a long long time unless I agreed with him or ‘wasn’t angry’ (aka didn’t argue).
It hurt so much to be with him, but it hurt so much to be without him because I was alone. It was never him. It was the words that he said that I was afraid were true because I am so afraid of feeling alone.
The most toxic person in my life was someone who treated everyone horribly and was an abusive controlling raging monster, but he constantly told everyone how worthless he was and how his life meant nothing to play the victim to justify the fact he was an awful person, who then turned around and accused me of being his bully and awful to him when I finally had enough and broke it off with him
Sounds awful, so sorry you went through that ordeal.
For the sake of discussion though, I feel the words toxic, abusive, and monster are often conflated without specifics which leads to a society where it's easy to demonize imperfect people who do bad things (possibly toxic) as monsters. Toxic refers to unhealth relationships or people who express bad behavior, which is a broad usage of application. Someone with bad behavior can be toxic, without necessarily being abusive or a monster.
@@Luxembourgish Well this person has burned more bridges than I can count, sends horrible messages to one of our friends over a comic he makes and all the whole pretends to be the victim in all of it
I mean, what makes you sure he did it to play the victim? Maybe the guy was just self aware.
I'm so sorry! I've had experience with this before
I just wanna say that this is one of my all time favorite videos. I don't know why, maybe i just like the topic of toxic relationships, maybe i just like psychology in general, maybe the video is well made, etc. What i know is that this is my 3rd or 4th time watching it, so great vid man!
Parts of that relationship too closely paralleled events in a dreadful relationship I was stuck in from 2017-2019, right as this one was playing out... We bizarrely enough met in the fall of 2016 while I was in my junior year of high school and right as season 20 was airing and Cartman & Heidi were getting close.... Looking back at it, it's so bizarre xD Whenever I'd try to leave because I deserved someone who'd actually be there for me this person would guilt trip the hell out of me for wanting a stable relationship...- Anyways, yeah this is why I loved Cartman & Heidi's relationship, it allowed me to open my eyes and take a good look at myself & how I was falling apart... :')
i was stuck in a horrible friendship with a guy who looked and acted exactly like cartman from 2017-2018 he was a sick venal man his name was deakkon i hope he fucking rots for betraying me
I was stuck in not a relationship, but a friendship. He was a Japanese boy who kept gaslighting me by saying he had abusive parents and he even saw me as his abusive mom saying i didnt care about him and victimizing himself. He was really REALLY weird giving me a condom once, threatening to make me a prostitute (believe me you cant make this shit up) and having me say... not so good japanese words and seeing very very weird Japanese things. Done with him and he victimized himself and doesn't even want to see me again for "What he did" and what I "did" but then took his apology back so I did too. Hope he fucking suffers in he'll, honestly. The only reason I stayed friends with him was because I thought I needed him to stay mentally stable at the time but it was the opposite. He was degrading my mental health and making me turn against my family. As soon as we were no longer friends he got a new fucker in a relationship instantly. Dang asshole.
It took me 6 months to realize that when my boyfriend was yelling at me for “not listening to him” he meant he was angry at me for not following every instruction he gave me. It’s good that we have videos like this to draw awareness because it really is crazy how blind you become to it in the moment.
I love these psychology videos!! keep it up :)
Honestly it was the only time i felt disturbed watching south park.
I love your channel dude keep up all of the hard work because it’s paying off!
14:49 as someone who's been in a toxic relationship I really needed this part thanks lol. I love you all and please don't settle for less settle for someone who will treat you like gold and give you the love you deserve! 😁
0:19 I bad about future Cartman’s fate too but than I was like “wait it’s cartman does he really deserve a happy ending?”
Congrats on the sponsor my man! You've earned it.
I recently got out of a toxic relationship, and, still, to this day, I feel like I need to focus on being more self-respecting than I have been.
I'm still bummed over the fact that Kyle and Heidi didn't end up together in season 21.
I now actually noticed that I was a narcissist in a relationship until I made a huge mistake and paid the price for it. The mistake you might wonder is breaking up (thinking I didn't feel anything for her) and realising later I still did. Long story short, because I was narcissistic and egotistical now almost 3 years later I still have feelings for her and she doesn't. Sucks.
South park educating people better than school's with topics that will actually help us when we grow up.
If you always see yourself as a victim, you can justify being a horrible person. That's a lesson to live by.
I and my girlfriend actually incredibly relate to both Haidi and Cartman. It's kind of surreal and alarming. I very much relate to Cartman getting tired of Haidi.
It's funny that I relate to Cartman because I was the one who got manipulated and lied to. The exhaustion isn't a sign of narcissism but it probably is a sign of lack of control. Since she would break down everytime I would not do what she wanted, makes sense why I would get exhausted upon seeing her.
Ex girlfriend or?
I’ve been doing some research on Attachment theory and it is safe to say that Cartman definitely exhibits an Anxious Preoccupied attachment style. It’s obvious that he doesn’t have the brightest of childhoods as everyone’s attachment style is determined within the first two years of infancy.
Considering his mom is the only parent, and his dad was basically MIA is a big contribution to his attachment style as most people with this attachment have a huge fear of abandonment. We can take his narcissistic and manipulative attitude as a coping mechanism from his dysfunctional childhood.
For Heidi, we can see how Cartman’s manipulative attitude shifted Heidi’s attachment style from secure to anxious. With all of the abuse, with all of the neglect, with all of the amount of narcissism we can see how Heidi, once a securely attached girl who was able to securely attach to others like her friends and Cartman in the beginning was turned into a slightly Anxioud preoccupied individual.
It’s important to learn about attachment theory in relationships, mostly because you can better understand yourself but also understand how others attach and how you can approach them.
The end of the Covid special did make me feel pity for Cartman but I also always like to point out how much it makes sense that the only timeline where Cartman finds joy is the one where everyone else is miserable.
What I hate about every video that talks about narcissists on the internet is that nobody is ever concerned about the narcissist, they are always trying to help the "victim", as if narcissists decided to be this way.
The greater majority of narcissists don't even know what they are and can't control themselves since they obviously don't know they need help in the first place.
Everytime Cartman Say "women are funny" It's clear that he refers to "Jokes ABOUT women" not "Jokes MADE by women"