A bare minimum/breadcrumbing boyfriend gave me so much anxiety and self doubt completely lowered my self esteem. They don’t care about your well-being. He absolutely has narcissistic tendencies!
They can have an avoidant attachment. If they don't care about your well being then they need the heave ho! Never settle for anything less than you deserve. Bare minimum equals breadcrumbs. Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix IMAGO Safe People by Henry Cloud The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft
Don't do it, you will set yourself up for failure and loose yourself. I settled for bare minimum for 17 years of lonely while in a relationship. Time lost that you never get back . Finally found myself and my strength to leave
I too gave up 17 years of my life and I’m now in the mindset to do me and grow into my better version of myself and to continue growing more in my relationship with God good luck to you on your journey and God bless you
Broke up with my bare minimum boyfriend last night. He’s more worried about his friends than investing his time into our relationship. I refuse to ask him to take me to dinner, the movies, or for flowers ever again. His loss!
I just left one of these. His Breadcrumbs and lack of emotions was just so hurtful to me. His reaction to my upset was completely immature. Thing is, I never signed up for the situation he put me in but for him, the perfect situation regardless of how it made me feel 😢
Also, I felt a pull to tell you this. Anything you put out there such as your goodness and love. It will come back to you tenfold. Nothing is lost in God.
Great Post!!!! " I;d RATHER MY BABY GIRL BE DISSAPOINTED THEN TRAUMATIZED" Enjoy HER OWN COMPANY INSTEAD OF SHARING IT WITH SOMEONE WHO DOES NOT DESERVE HER COMPANY""
I'm picking up what you putin down. These types of Men/boys are the worst. And your right were expecting them to go hard and they go ALL THE WAY WET BREAD SOFT When I see that, I excuse myself and keep it pushing
I complained about everything you spoke about and he never put any effort in the relationship; he just complained i was trying to change him and said his exes didn't have a problem with his personality.
I give thanks to THE MOST HIGH for the gifts you possess to teach, educate, enlighten. TRUELY. I'm learning SO MUCH about how and why I allowed the horrific toxicity I used to call a relationship. I'm very proud to say that my healing journey began sometime back, but encountering your content has propelled me to new heights. Thank you 🙏🏼. As soon as I economically navigate myself out of this DV experience I will be signed up, so eager, and sincerely ready to take part in any CHALLENGE courses you present.
Your right my father always showed up like you did when I was a child growing up teens and grown I always expected more than the bare minimum they would act in the beginning then slack I had zero tolerance and that's how come im in the space now and im not complaining I rather be alone happy with a lot of love to give my family and close friends then with bare minimum my words for the vulnerable if you dont do anything else pray 🙏🏿 try and grow closer to God he is the sweetest gift I know as long as you have God you are properly loved and just be consistent on how you show up for your children, yourself love yourself love you first everything you have been through In God timing things will then start to turn around for your good in sweet Jesus name Amen ❤❤❤❤
I really appreciate you Derrick for telling us what to expect in real and loving relationships. Hearing the message so strongly from a brother is powerful and much needed! xx
You are on point big brother concerning your daughter in pouring and demonstrating your love to her while she is young. That will speak volumes to her and when the time is right, she will know how to avoid bare minimum men. Very good!❤️
I said “when can we spend a minute” He said “stop pressuring me” I silently gasped. I said “i want someone who feels that I’m their happiness-not their pressure.. and I said..”I mean this in the kindest way possible- “we.are.done” and I fkn meant it.
Well Done! You did the right thing. 💯 I just ended something, he was always too busy at work. I told him that I hope that they are happy together 😂 I know my worth, and wont be treated like an option!
I asked for my fiance to sing to me and dance with me for my birthday a couple years back. He gave the first excuse that his leg was still hurting, "you know I dont sing because it makes me miss my fav aunt ". The final one was I had a conversation with a mutual friend trying to make him feel better about that happened with his gf and used us as an example and how he can move forward/fix it. He said he didn't do what I asked for my birthday because I was spreading our business with someone who isn't my therapist. I can't talk to anyone about him/us. Mind you that was the last adult I had yo have a conversation with besides him or therapist (got 3 kids). Still waiting on that gift 2 years later
When those BMM come into my life, I’m loving kind and respectful, and I request what they should be willing to give matching my energy efforts, etc. they bless me when they just disappear out of my life
The only bare minimum I will take, at the very least, is minimum wage pay not men. I’ve learned to just keep walking and don’t turn back around to men like that.
@@Lavon_Professionalexactly!!! Cause I’m sick of seeing all the crying and hurt. Yet keep going from one to the next. Not listening or seeing thinking somehow it’ll be different. This is insane.
People place TOO much emphasis on being in a relationship. In particular, Black individuals are carrying historical environmental, and emotional trauma. Please read Post traumatic Slave Syndrome by Joy DeGruy. Black people HEAL, HEAL, HEAL! which means you need time alone to develop into your best self.
We should have the right to warn the next woman to stay away from these men so they don't have to go through with us and the women before us and the women after us go through
Thank you. I resolve to stop giving me bare minimum. Break bad habits, start with a new habit and be consistent; talk to me as nicely as i try to talk to other people... etc. This feels good. I am going to watch it again. Thank you. ❤
Oh my goodness have you ever heard a relationship coach be more real and tell you go ahead and be you and deal with what you're accepting and think it's alright and you know in your heart it's not because why else are we watching these videos anyway ladies????
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A bare minimum/breadcrumbing boyfriend gave me so much anxiety and self doubt completely lowered my self esteem. They don’t care about your well-being. He absolutely has narcissistic tendencies!
Same here. He brought out the worst version of me.
U r spot on
They can have an avoidant attachment. If they don't care about your well being then they need the heave ho! Never settle for anything less than you deserve.
Bare minimum equals breadcrumbs.
Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller
Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix IMAGO
Safe People by Henry Cloud
The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft
Don't do it, you will set yourself up for failure and loose yourself. I settled for bare minimum for 17 years of lonely while in a relationship. Time lost that you never get back . Finally found myself and my strength to leave
Pretty much exact same story here!!! ❤
Ditto 11 years
Has he not bought you anything for a birthday and valentines day?
12 yrs 🤦🏽♀️
I too gave up 17 years of my life and I’m now in the mindset to do me and grow into my better version of myself and to continue growing more in my relationship with God good luck to you on your journey and God bless you
Broke up with my bare minimum boyfriend last night. He’s more worried about his friends than investing his time into our relationship. I refuse to ask him to take me to dinner, the movies, or for flowers ever again. His loss!
This x
Same. ❤ Congratulations on loving you.
Bravo for dumping him! He hasn't got his act together.
Especially since I saw him willing to move mountains for his "female friends " and I got the excuse of "too busy"
Oh girl, yes!! Especially if they’re filled with drama wrapped up in a pretty package
Pretty painful to experience 😢
@@user-j7t8u very! But that pain is also a great motivator to LEAVE! 🔥 We are not trees, we got legs and we can walk! 🔥🎯
Forget him asap if he is trying to justify his female friends. Better fish in the sea.
Snap!
Single and alone doesn't mean lonely or unhappy, 👁🗨
Never beg someone for their love or attention.
When you accept bare minimum, you are submitting to being programmed to lower the cost of what it costs to be around you.
Same story for me to ladies, I got tired of bare minimum behavior and divorced it in 2009. Been happy ever since I'm making the 💰 and loving me.🌹🌹
IN MY 20'S 30'S YEAH, 40'S 50'S I WILL NEVER TOLERATE BARE MINIMUM!!!
You will never come close to getting back what you gave to them .... And they think they are the prize !!!
Real Talk. He a B celebrity and I'm a HoodCelebrityy, Jane of all traded Boss Chic. He wants to be sweated and I get sweated
Facts... you don't need a dependent
Best way of showing your daughter how she should be treated, is to treat her mama like a Queen!!! Thats truth!!
Definitey experiencing bare minimum...never thought about this so clearly-Thank-You!!!!
I'm honestly dealing with this right now and heading towards a divorce. It is really draining and toxic. And I'm done!
If you don't know your Worth no one else will!!💯
ABSOLUTELY 💯💯💯💯, LADIES KNOW YOUR WORTH!!!
Block 🚫 No explanation, no asking for anything, not even once.
Well who are you give me your balls. Speaking respectively I need out of the situation. How do you get the courage.
YOU ARE SPEAKING THE TRUTH, LADIES YOU HAVE TO KNOW YOUR WORTH!!!! 👑QUEENOLOGIST APPROVED👑
I'm an near pulling my hair out dealing with this bare minimum person. I'm so angry at myself for getting so wrapped up in this poison.
YES! You should never have to ask for flowers ladies … don’t settle .
I just left one of these. His Breadcrumbs and lack of emotions was just so hurtful to me. His reaction to my upset was completely immature. Thing is, I never signed up for the situation he put me in but for him, the perfect situation regardless of how it made me feel 😢
I’m still broken and don’t think I’ll ever feel better or normal like I was before. I lost such a big part of myself and who I was
Step for step IT Like climbing a stairs of Loving yourself,listening to this UA-cam IS one step you have taken i congratulate you sisterhood
Also, I felt a pull to tell you this. Anything you put out there such as your goodness and love. It will come back to you tenfold. Nothing is lost in God.
My brother buys his daughter a cake and roses on her bday and delivers it to her school.
Thankyou so much! This really hit home. 💯
Your brother is smart to teach his daughter how to be treated
You are so on point and you are special I didn't get anything for Valentine's Day and wasn't happy and I am done not happy and moving on
Thanks for confirming what I was feeling!!
Great Post!!!! " I;d RATHER MY BABY GIRL BE DISSAPOINTED THEN TRAUMATIZED" Enjoy HER OWN COMPANY INSTEAD OF SHARING IT WITH SOMEONE WHO DOES NOT DESERVE HER COMPANY""
You're awesome Derrick 🙌🏽 Honest and authentic 🙌🏽
Great job as a dad!
Your daughter will gauge her future love and expectations by what she learns from you! 👍
I'm picking up what you putin down. These types of Men/boys are the worst. And your right were expecting them to go hard and they go ALL THE WAY WET BREAD SOFT When I see that, I excuse myself and keep it pushing
I complained about everything you spoke about and he never put any effort in the relationship; he just complained i was trying to change him and said his exes didn't have a problem with his personality.
Then why are they exes… see more bull after more bull.
Move on quickly
I give thanks to THE MOST HIGH for the gifts you possess to teach, educate, enlighten. TRUELY. I'm learning SO MUCH about how and why I allowed the horrific toxicity I used to call a relationship. I'm very proud to say that my healing journey began sometime back, but encountering your content has propelled me to new heights. Thank you 🙏🏼. As soon as I economically navigate myself out of this DV experience I will be signed up, so eager, and sincerely ready to take part in any CHALLENGE courses you present.
Your right my father always showed up like you did when I was a child growing up teens and grown I always expected more than the bare minimum they would act in the beginning then slack I had zero tolerance and that's how come im in the space now and im not complaining I rather be alone happy with a lot of love to give my family and close friends then with bare minimum my words for the vulnerable if you dont do anything else pray 🙏🏿 try and grow closer to God he is the sweetest gift I know as long as you have God you are properly loved and just be consistent on how you show up for your children, yourself love yourself love you first everything you have been through In God timing things will then start to turn around for your good in sweet Jesus name Amen ❤❤❤❤
@creolepleasurezzllchicks778 Hey, here's the link to my BEST free dating advice for women 40+ derrickjaxn.rurl.me/40andupfreeadvice2
I really appreciate you Derrick for telling us what to expect in real and loving relationships. Hearing the message so strongly from a brother is powerful and much needed! xx
You are on point big brother concerning your daughter in pouring and demonstrating your love to her while she is young. That will speak volumes to her and when the time is right, she will know how to avoid bare minimum men. Very good!❤️
Love you and your thoughts of bare minimum men. I never thought of this! Enlightening!❤
Bare Minimum ❤ Limits Growth on every level.
Thankyou for the confirmation of this truth!
I said “when can we spend a minute” He said “stop pressuring me” I silently gasped. I said “i want someone who feels that I’m their happiness-not their pressure.. and I said..”I mean this in the kindest way possible- “we.are.done” and I fkn meant it.
Well Done! You did the right thing. 💯 I just ended something, he was always too busy at work. I told him that I hope that they are happy together 😂 I know my worth, and wont be treated like an option!
I asked for my fiance to sing to me and dance with me for my birthday a couple years back. He gave the first excuse that his leg was still hurting, "you know I dont sing because it makes me miss my fav aunt ". The final one was I had a conversation with a mutual friend trying to make him feel better about that happened with his gf and used us as an example and how he can move forward/fix it. He said he didn't do what I asked for my birthday because I was spreading our business with someone who isn't my therapist. I can't talk to anyone about him/us. Mind you that was the last adult I had yo have a conversation with besides him or therapist (got 3 kids). Still waiting on that gift 2 years later
When those BMM come into my life, I’m loving kind and respectful, and I request what they should be willing to give matching my energy efforts, etc. they bless me when they just disappear out of my life
You’re a blessing, Derek. Thank you for this reminder of what we all know but convince ourselves to excuse.
Married to one ... Smdh. Valentine's Day is just another day.
Sorry to hear that. Do self love. do not let your relationship drag you down my friend.
Excellent talk. Needed this. Watching again.
Been there too many times unfortunately lesson learned
Oh yes! He was and still is a NIGHTMARE!!
Yes, a Queen will protect his manhood/not cheat...loyal🎉
The only bare minimum I will take, at the very least, is minimum wage pay not men. I’ve learned to just keep walking and don’t turn back around to men like that.
Check how he treats you 365 days a year and compare it to valentines day too. You’ll see the facts once you do a proper analysis.
You women need to stop choosing men off emotion and let God do it, hard truth to accept?
@@Lavon_Professionalexactly!!! Cause I’m sick of seeing all the crying and hurt. Yet keep going from one to the next. Not listening or seeing thinking somehow it’ll be different. This is insane.
Just what I needed to hear 🙏🏽
Sir,OMG SPEAK FACTS
People place TOO much emphasis on being in a relationship. In particular, Black individuals are carrying historical environmental, and emotional trauma. Please read Post traumatic Slave Syndrome by Joy DeGruy. Black people HEAL, HEAL, HEAL! which means you need time alone to develop into your best self.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR VIDEOS! YOU KEEP IT REAL ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS!
Yes n yes. N thank got he's out. ..I pity his current so called girlfriend....
Iam going to be a much stronger woman watching your vídeos. Thank you! From Brazil
He never sacraficed a dam thing...n hell never be there in the hard times
I totally agree, and I'm speaking from experience!
We should have the right to warn the next woman to stay away from these men so they don't have to go through with us and the women before us and the women after us go through
Thank you. I resolve to stop giving me bare minimum. Break bad habits, start with a new habit and be consistent; talk to me as nicely as i try to talk to other people... etc. This feels good. I am going to watch it again. Thank you. ❤
💯 brother ❤ the truth.
Putting a word in for your baby girl 🎉🎉😊too cute and real! Keep up the good words
Especially when he went in the store and came back out with him a new tumbler cup and his dog new stuffed chew toy and me… nothing.
DO GOOD BY YOURSELF!!!!!! GOD WILL SUPPLY OH YEZZZZ HE WILL♥👑
I would love to get a copy of that book. I am struggling in my relationship
Dropping FACTS, once again!! 👏🏻
I'm in a bare minimum relationship now ..smh
You deserve better!
Why you soooo on point
🙌🏽 FACTS
That’s also something I don’t like when he says to me he wants me to lead .. 😑
Manipulation 101...the kind that lets you set up dates so they can give u that or less,,,
Ok modiles are you one of them ?
Amen.
I’m late to your videos. But you speaking facts!! Thanks Derrick
Yep
❤ Keep doing all that for your daughter, so she will understand how high her standards MUST be. ❤
Amen to this I love your passion and felt as though you was telling me directly 😅
He does not give me flowers or anything for Valentine’s Day 😢
I need this kind of wisdom....daily ✌🏾
You are the absolute best! Thank you
Sure would.
Nothing wrong with bare minimum men, just give the bare minimum as well and level the playing field.
That's a waste of time and gaslight when you are real. So bare minimum is for the birds.
Agree Sassy. The heave ho to these breadcrumbers .
Stay dropping 💎's
Why do you wear s much makeup?
Everything you said is true...
A Jerry Springer relationship 😮
Gotta listen later I'm in school building a beautiful life 💓🧬🧬💓🎉
What degree are you pursuing?
I def had one
I....use to....hell....No...More!!!! Thank you God and Jesus 🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽
The church day amen 🙏 🙌
I was waiting till Valentine's Day and he didn't show up again not in person but in any other way. All he did was reciprocate an I love you text.
My Daughter just started dating someone like this!!!
It is so hard to see your kids get hurt.
Tell your daughter to leave!
❤ Never Too Late:)
Bible ...never settle
Ooohh wee that would be me! I’m with one right now!
This 🙌 💯‼️
Sir yes sir🫡
Good channel following de about dating
Yes sir
Every Valentine's day I buy my son and my daughter an "unrealistic" gift... Really big bear and a cool candy..
Amen
Yes, I did.
Yes several times
Wow! So true.
Oh my goodness have you ever heard a relationship coach be more real and tell you go ahead and be you and deal with what you're accepting and think it's alright and you know in your heart it's not because why else are we watching these videos anyway ladies????
Let the church say 🙏 🙏 🙏