I am addicted to shopping but I am lucky because I do not like to buy online. I used to wake up in the middle of the night thinking about what I should buy; now I do not feel this way anymore.
My mother would compulsively spend what small amount of money she had. If she had $5 in her pocket she couldn’t stand it, she’d run up and down the street looking for a trinket to buy. Needless to say she grew old with zero savings and I’ve had to be the one to step in and buy her essentials. I really resent it.
It affects men just as much as women, we just aren't the ones discussing it. Amazon gets me with new tech products every few months. Recently admitted it to myself and spoke with a psychiatrist, as compulsive spending can be common with bipolar. She doesn't believe I am bipolar but I have depression, low self esteem, and look for the dopamine of getting packages. So working on selling off my bad purchases and going to move forward and find other ways to distract myself than my wallet.
Girl same I started being an addictive shopper this year. I also have ADHD and we usually overspend, bc that’s the only way to get a dopamine rush at this point. It’s really hard for me to
I just made a purchase I feel sick to my stomach about. It was around $300, financed it. I had a devastating realization about a week ago and I haven't been able to stop. This isn't the first purchase I've made this week over $100
I can relate. I am 80 and got divorced last October. At the beginning of the separation 3 years ago, living alone, I amused myself by shopping. I'd noticed early on that I was a little embarrassed that the mail person was delivering packages and FedEx and UPS drivers were delivering stuff 2-3 times a week--sometimes more. Did my new neighbors notice? And yes, several things didn't fit or I didn't end up using them or they were cheap and fell apart fast. About 15% of what I was buying ended up in a donation box. This video brought better awareness to my situation.
Thank you for posting this! I also struggle with purchasing too many things, which is why I'm dedicating a portion of my learning to cutting out this poor habit. Great video btw!
I know I need help. I don't even know when it happened but I found myself constantly browsing for small nonsense ( perfumes and samples, body creams, shampoos and such) when I should be saving money. These may not seem costly, but when you keep getting new ones constantly it's a massive drain on the wallet. I know I'm trying to soothe myself, now I need to find a healthy way of doing this.
This happens for me . I buy 2/3/4 doller phone cases from shein and after a time i see its a huge amount. I even order before another order is on the way. Tons of phone cases i buy which i dont even use. Hate myself. Total waste of money 😢
Love this. I have hobbies that help my anxiety, but I also have this FOMO monster that I ended up buying more than I need. It's just on my hobbies but I could be doing other things with this money like investing. Will try some of these techniques.
Ugh im in the same boat! It gives me so much joy but really, do I need that extra color, that better brush or whatever else I'm into? Hope you're doing well!
Just found this channel. I have been obsessed with psychology since FOREVER. You see, I am "ancient" too 😉 I have a feeling I am going to learn A LOT here. Thank you in advance. Liked/subscribed.
Compulsive shopping - very dangerous. Often a symptom and indication of DEEP rooted psychological issues including depression that could lead to suicidal thoughts and eventual suicide even! Many shopping addicts use the 'liberating' exciting feelings that accompany the anticipation of shopping - to cover their underlying trauma. I know someone who is a full blown shopping addict. They find excuses to go to the grocery store every single day and bring home stuff worth $200 or $300 dollars. Additionally packages keep being delivered at the door. 'Oh, I thought another grinder would be good for the kitchen' is the explanation. So mixer/grinder number 3 gets setup in the kitchen right next to the other two that work just as well. A few days later a set of pestle and grinding stone also get delivered to the house and they sit right next to the 3 grinders. 'Oh, this stone and pestle will help make delicious guacamole.' Always a reason, always an excuse. Slowly the kitchen and pantry and porch get overrun with utensils and storage bins with even more items, overflowing from the Kitchen where we have run out of space. Any outing with them results in this grown up person coming up with another reason/idea to stop at a grocery store or restaurant, 'Oh, I just remembered that there is this ONE item that we need at home. Promise, I will run in and bring just that one item and be back in 5 minutes'. Well the 5 minutes expands to an hour or more before this person steps out with bags and bags of items, most all of which are not needed'. It was only after I accompanied this person to Walmart and other large grocery stores, that I realized why Walmart and other retail outlets place some select items strategically at the entrance to the grocery section. This person will instinctively gravitate towards those loaves of freshly baked long bread and say: 'Hey lets grab some of these' [when there are several of these that lay unused at home, some of them moldy, because this person brings more and more of these every visit they make to the store'. So if I were to say, 'Hey we have so many of them at home', this person will just smile and brush it off and say, 'No problem, just grab a few more'. This individual has piles of very costly clothing that they purchased from high end retail outlets and never used them ONCE. So what do they do with all these high value but unused coats, jackets etc.? After a few years, they pick them up and give them away to someone [with the price tag and packaging still intact. So the item was not even taken out of the packaging!]. And why do they give these clothes away? To make room in the overflowing closet for even more new clothes! Most of the new clothes will never be used. Left untreated this mental disease progresses. Over a couple of decades or so, the behavior patterns of this person can become more erratic. Sudden burst of temper tantrums [where this person used to be very even tempered and balanced, originally]. Other bizarre behavior patterns. Thoughts and talks about taking their own life. That life holds no meaning. And then more frenzied bouts of shopping. The thought, preparation and anticipation of the shopping trip is the greatest even of their day and life. Sadly, as the shopping ends and they have to lug their purchase to their car, their excitement level comes crashing down. The 'Hypo mania' turns instantly into a 'depressive' mood-swing as they pull up to their house. The thought of lugging their new purchase into the house is very 'depressing to them'. The excitement level was in the anticipation, the preparation, the selection of items at the store, and the transaction, the swiping of the credit card, the collecting of the items and putting them back into the shopping cart. But there the excitement begins to taper off. And in some case 'guilt' overtakes their mind - as most of them are aware of their shopping addiction, even though most will try to deny an delude others and themselves from accepting that they have issues inside that manifest outside in the form of their 'shopping addiction'. Which is why many of the shopping addicts, rush back into the store after dropping their original purchase in their car. They hate the 'crashing' depressive feeling and the onslaught of guilt that comes with the end of the shopping trip. So they try to switch back from the 'depressive' state to the 'hypo manic'/super-excited state, by going back to purchase that 'one' item that they forgot. Well, the one item become 5 or 25 more items. Then they wistfully drive back home. Many of the purchased items may never be used. This could be confusing to people around them. 'Why would anyone buy items excitedly and never use them or rarely use them. Or not show the same excitement in using them as they did in the planning of the purchase?' - people may wonder. But the answer lies in the fact that the 'anticipation' the 'process', the 'transaction', the 'sight and smells' at the stores, the drive to the shopping store, these are what trigger the excitement. Not the actual item or the consumption of it. True many times they are excited about opening the packaging and using the item. Or unpacking the grocery item and cooking it. But by and large, it is the shopping experience that is paramount. The overriding thrill. So items soon lose value in their mind, once they are home. After all you can always go and buy more of them, to repeat the shopping experience and the excitement that comes with it.
I always have this bad habits because back then parents didn't give me dress and buying fashion, clothes and shoes that i only get excited for one use after that is not anymore. Well i can only buy the cheap ones though i mean fast fashion is bad and destroying the earth but like the excitement to feel good in new clothes is great but the you're right after that is actually not that good anymore so you keep repeating the same thing. I mean if it's clothes you want it more and the excuse well people have it much too, so they don't get bored when it's actually wasting all the money. I love them but yeah they fall apart easily too. Lack of love, i guess things fills the void
I am a man with what is seeming more and more like an addiction! I too rationalize my spending by quoting the retail price, compared to the super bargain price! I'd be an idiot not to buy it! Mostly sneakers, and clothes! Also a hat of every shade and style to go with every possible outfit!
I enjoy shopping on line immensely. I love finding items I love and waiting for them to be delivered. I do return 9 out of 10 items but average $3/400 monthly is spent on the items I keep. I don’t need these items but I want them. I have $20k house fixing coming up this and next year. I have to put aside $1k a month to offset this budget. This means I can’t buy clothes and shoes for 18 months. I have never been successful in doing no buy (tried it before a few times). I think the first is not to browse the websites. If I don’t see temptation I can hold off the urge better.
I buy ridiculous amounts of jewelry that is 5 dollars a piece. I can't even wear it all or know what I even have. I do it on a Facebook live where I feel I have friends so it meets a social need but I need to stop buying.
Dude I have an addictive personality problem, I’m always like hyperfixated on something whether it’s shorts, reels, fanfiction, and fricken Amazon. I’m too much ;-;
Thank you for sharing your ideas on how to treat this disorder. Could you recommend where I could learn this hypnotic method of deattaching from patterns?
I’ve been a drug user (marijuana, alcohol, opiates and other legitimately prescribed medications for severe pain) for years but never developed an unhealthy addiction. I was very responsible. Bizarrely I have had a spending addiction and a pretty severe sex addiction that luckily didn’t get me into any physical or further psychological struggles. I pay off £500 debt then “justify” spending a bit here and a bit there on “sensible” items such as clothing I “need” or items for the house. Health items and food are exempt from scrutiny as they are paramount given my health issues. Then I’m right back where I started a week later. It’s not good. I play stupid tricks on myself but just like June, I used to buy stuff and not return it if it didn’t fit. I struggle with the want vs need aspect of the decision making. Luckily I’m not in quite as much debt as some but it’s still a problem I need to work hard to correct, hence why I’m here. Good luck to those of you who are trying to get a handle on this. 😅
Okay but what if they like the items and the items bring them joy and they use them regularly? Then what do you recommend to stop the shopping addiction?
That's a good question. I think the 'need' that we feel the urgency to fulfill, has to be replaced with another way of fulfilling the need, or actually lessening the need. Lots ways to do that. None of them are necessarily easy..But definitely worth it.
The problem is that the items usually only bring joy for a short time and there are only a number of things we use regularly. Pretty soon we have no space in our homes and not much savings-especially as we get older.
Shopping addiction is very real, these women shop online at work. Then must go to a store after work. Some of the excuses will be.. looking for bargains 😂😂
My mom doesn’t think she has a gambling addiction when she texts me to buy her a lotto ticket. I say no and then she thinks I’m disrespectful. Just, NO 😂 I’ve had enough tho.
I believe that shopping is a mondern day primitive need to hunt. I started to make list of items i wanted to buy with price and store. I discovered that i didn't return to purchase any of it. Now if i buy something i often return items. The worst part of a shopping addiction is my compulsion to look at every single thing in the store. I'm not a fun person to shop with because this compulsively is so strong because i don'twant to miss a great deal.. Any advice?
Thank you! Tomorrow i need to sit down and journal about these prompts. I need to stop shop bc its made my life stagnant. Problem is i used to be bulimic with anxiety and my shopping started with a pshyciatrist as exposure therapy. And the thing with my bulimic is how i enjoyed the rush after. I enjoyed how it made me feel. And the last year ive not been doing this bc of shopping, BUT I dont enjoy shopping. It makes me stuck in a shitty place… but now im scared i wont have the self control to not go back on bulimic habits when i stop. I tried lower the shopping and such but i seem to compensate already.. idk what to do 🥹😂
Anybody else wake up in the morning with the strongest urger to spend money? I roll over and immediately open amazon…
Me 🙋♀️
Yaa im addicted, i do it at nite tho, i need help, its too easy...
I am addicted to shopping but I am lucky because I do not like to buy online. I used to wake up in the middle of the night thinking about what I should buy; now I do not feel this way anymore.
This happens to me for buying phone cases. Unnecessarily I continue buying. I waste so much money that i feel so much guilt.
My mother would compulsively spend what small amount of money she had. If she had $5 in her pocket she couldn’t stand it, she’d run up and down the street looking for a trinket to buy. Needless to say she grew old with zero savings and I’ve had to be the one to step in and buy her essentials. I really resent it.
It affects men just as much as women, we just aren't the ones discussing it. Amazon gets me with new tech products every few months. Recently admitted it to myself and spoke with a psychiatrist, as compulsive spending can be common with bipolar. She doesn't believe I am bipolar but I have depression, low self esteem, and look for the dopamine of getting packages. So working on selling off my bad purchases and going to move forward and find other ways to distract myself than my wallet.
Girl same I started being an addictive shopper this year. I also have ADHD and we usually overspend, bc that’s the only way to get a dopamine rush at this point. It’s really hard for me to
Getting up to 10 packages in the mail is like Christmas several days a week!
Yup! 🎉
Hahaa, this is so true!!! 🙈
I wish I could afford that many books
I just made a purchase I feel sick to my stomach about. It was around $300, financed it. I had a devastating realization about a week ago and I haven't been able to stop. This isn't the first purchase I've made this week over $100
I can relate. I am 80 and got divorced last October. At the beginning of the separation 3 years ago, living alone, I amused myself by shopping. I'd noticed early on that I was a little embarrassed that the mail person was delivering packages and FedEx and UPS drivers were delivering stuff 2-3 times a week--sometimes more. Did my new neighbors notice? And yes, several things didn't fit or I didn't end up using them or they were cheap and fell apart fast. About 15% of what I was buying ended up in a donation box. This video brought better awareness to my situation.
Thank you for posting this! I also struggle with purchasing too many things, which is why I'm dedicating a portion of my learning to cutting out this poor habit. Great video btw!
I'm in the same boat!
Collecting acorns for winter.
It`s not that you only take care of human psyche, you also take care of human bank accounts, Mark :)
I know I need help. I don't even know when it happened but I found myself constantly browsing for small nonsense ( perfumes and samples, body creams, shampoos and such) when I should be saving money. These may not seem costly, but when you keep getting new ones constantly it's a massive drain on the wallet. I know I'm trying to soothe myself, now I need to find a healthy way of doing this.
This happens for me . I buy 2/3/4 doller phone cases from shein and after a time i see its a huge amount. I even order before another order is on the way. Tons of phone cases i buy which i dont even use. Hate myself. Total waste of money 😢
Love this. I have hobbies that help my anxiety, but I also have this FOMO monster that I ended up buying more than I need. It's just on my hobbies but I could be doing other things with this money like investing. Will try some of these techniques.
Ugh im in the same boat! It gives me so much joy but really, do I need that extra color, that better brush or whatever else I'm into? Hope you're doing well!
I'm right here with you, dear lady!!! The dollar stores and the tic toc ideas!!!
Music helps anxiety. I play my violin or piano. Finding a hobby helps.
I like the concept of separating it from ourselves, our or the client's core identity.
Thank you so much for this incredibly well structured and explained video! Very helpful and insightful!
Just found this channel. I have been obsessed with psychology since FOREVER. You see, I am "ancient" too 😉 I have a feeling I am going to learn A LOT here. Thank you in advance. Liked/subscribed.
I look forward to each f your videos. I find all your solutions practical and grounded. I can't get enough of them.
Thank you for the steps and techniques you used on how to address this issue - - I like the future past - - leaking bank account. :)
Just had a client begin therapy with this issue. I always appreciate your content! Thank you.
The book "30 Days to Stop Being a Shopaholic" by Harper Daniels is helpful.
You just helped me understand so much. Thank you
Thank you, great video
I’m trying to correct my own behavior and this is very helpful for the retrospective work!
Iron and clean you’re clothes make them smell good smile you’re ready u don’t need much ❤
Compulsive shopping - very dangerous. Often a symptom and indication of DEEP rooted psychological issues including depression that could lead to suicidal thoughts and eventual suicide even! Many shopping addicts use the 'liberating' exciting feelings that accompany the anticipation of shopping - to cover their underlying trauma. I know someone who is a full blown shopping addict. They find excuses to go to the grocery store every single day and bring home stuff worth $200 or $300 dollars.
Additionally packages keep being delivered at the door. 'Oh, I thought another grinder would be good for the kitchen' is the explanation. So mixer/grinder number 3 gets setup in the kitchen right next to the other two that work just as well. A few days later a set of pestle and grinding stone also get delivered to the house and they sit right next to the 3 grinders.
'Oh, this stone and pestle will help make delicious guacamole.' Always a reason, always an excuse. Slowly the kitchen and pantry and porch get overrun with utensils and storage bins with even more items, overflowing from the Kitchen where we have run out of space.
Any outing with them results in this grown up person coming up with another reason/idea to stop at a grocery store or restaurant, 'Oh, I just remembered that there is this ONE item that we need at home. Promise, I will run in and bring just that one item and be back in 5 minutes'. Well the 5 minutes expands to an hour or more before this person steps out with bags and bags of items, most all of which are not needed'.
It was only after I accompanied this person to Walmart and other large grocery stores, that I realized why Walmart and other retail outlets place some select items strategically at the entrance to the grocery section. This person will instinctively gravitate towards those loaves of freshly baked long bread and say: 'Hey lets grab some of these' [when there are several of these that lay unused at home, some of them moldy, because this person brings more and more of these every visit they make to the store'. So if I were to say, 'Hey we have so many of them at home', this person will just smile and brush it off and say, 'No problem, just grab a few more'.
This individual has piles of very costly clothing that they purchased from high end retail outlets and never used them ONCE. So what do they do with all these high value but unused coats, jackets etc.? After a few years, they pick them up and give them away to someone [with the price tag and packaging still intact. So the item was not even taken out of the packaging!]. And why do they give these clothes away? To make room in the overflowing closet for even more new clothes! Most of the new clothes will never be used.
Left untreated this mental disease progresses. Over a couple of decades or so, the behavior patterns of this person can become more erratic. Sudden burst of temper tantrums [where this person used to be very even tempered and balanced, originally]. Other bizarre behavior patterns. Thoughts and talks about taking their own life. That life holds no meaning. And then more frenzied bouts of shopping. The thought, preparation and anticipation of the shopping trip is the greatest even of their day and life. Sadly, as the shopping ends and they have to lug their purchase to their car, their excitement level comes crashing down. The 'Hypo mania' turns instantly into a 'depressive' mood-swing as they pull up to their house. The thought of lugging their new purchase into the house is very 'depressing to them'. The excitement level was in the anticipation, the preparation, the selection of items at the store, and the transaction, the swiping of the credit card, the collecting of the items and putting them back into the shopping cart. But there the excitement begins to taper off. And in some case 'guilt' overtakes their mind - as most of them are aware of their shopping addiction, even though most will try to deny an delude others and themselves from accepting that they have issues inside that manifest outside in the form of their 'shopping addiction'.
Which is why many of the shopping addicts, rush back into the store after dropping their original purchase in their car. They hate the 'crashing' depressive feeling and the onslaught of guilt that comes with the end of the shopping trip. So they try to switch back from the 'depressive' state to the 'hypo manic'/super-excited state, by going back to purchase that 'one' item that they forgot. Well, the one item become 5 or 25 more items. Then they wistfully drive back home.
Many of the purchased items may never be used. This could be confusing to people around them. 'Why would anyone buy items excitedly and never use them or rarely use them. Or not show the same excitement in using them as they did in the planning of the purchase?' - people may wonder. But the answer lies in the fact that the 'anticipation' the 'process', the 'transaction', the 'sight and smells' at the stores, the drive to the shopping store, these are what trigger the excitement. Not the actual item or the consumption of it. True many times they are excited about opening the packaging and using the item. Or unpacking the grocery item and cooking it. But by and large, it is the shopping experience that is paramount. The overriding thrill. So items soon lose value in their mind, once they are home. After all you can always go and buy more of them, to repeat the shopping experience and the excitement that comes with it.
Woof. I felt this in my soul. You just described my compulsive shopping habit-my current theme is, stupidly enough, diaper bags. 🙄
I always have this bad habits because back then parents didn't give me dress and buying fashion, clothes and shoes that i only get excited for one use after that is not anymore. Well i can only buy the cheap ones though i mean fast fashion is bad and destroying the earth but like the excitement to feel good in new clothes is great but the you're right after that is actually not that good anymore so you keep repeating the same thing. I mean if it's clothes you want it more and the excuse well people have it much too, so they don't get bored when it's actually wasting all the money. I love them but yeah they fall apart easily too. Lack of love, i guess things fills the void
I am a man with what is seeming more and more like an addiction! I too rationalize my spending by quoting the retail price, compared to the super bargain price! I'd be an idiot not to buy it! Mostly sneakers, and clothes! Also a hat of every shade and style to go with every possible outfit!
Perfect timing
I think i would compulsively shopped, if it helped anxiety. Imo it is anxiety. One thing I know, it is impossible to escape anxiety.
I enjoy shopping on line immensely. I love finding items I love and waiting for them to be delivered. I do return 9 out of 10 items but average $3/400 monthly is spent on the items I keep. I don’t need these items but I want them. I have $20k house fixing coming up this and next year. I have to put aside $1k a month to offset this budget. This means I can’t buy clothes and shoes for 18 months. I have never been successful in doing no buy (tried it before a few times). I think the first is not to browse the websites. If I don’t see temptation I can hold off the urge better.
I buy ridiculous amounts of jewelry that is 5 dollars a piece. I can't even wear it all or know what I even have. I do it on a Facebook live where I feel I have friends so it meets a social need but I need to stop buying.
Thank you for this!
Dude I have an addictive personality problem, I’m always like hyperfixated on something whether it’s shorts, reels, fanfiction, and fricken Amazon. I’m too much ;-;
Brilliant! I've used similar avenues to help people with compulsive animal product consumption.
Such great content. So happy I found your channel. Thank you!
That was incredibly helpful. Thank you for sharing your expertise!
Thank you for sharing your ideas on how to treat this disorder. Could you recommend where I could learn this hypnotic method of deattaching from patterns?
Every time I want to buy something I'm gonna watch this and be strong.
I really need help, i spent over 800 dollars in 3 days like nothing.
Thank you
I’ve been a drug user (marijuana, alcohol, opiates and other legitimately prescribed medications for severe pain) for years but never developed an unhealthy addiction. I was very responsible.
Bizarrely I have had a spending addiction and a pretty severe sex addiction that luckily didn’t get me into any physical or further psychological struggles.
I pay off £500 debt then “justify” spending a bit here and a bit there on “sensible” items such as clothing I “need” or items for the house. Health items and food are exempt from scrutiny as they are paramount given my health issues. Then I’m right back where I started a week later. It’s not good.
I play stupid tricks on myself but just like June, I used to buy stuff and not return it if it didn’t fit.
I struggle with the want vs need aspect of the decision making. Luckily I’m not in quite as much debt as some but it’s still a problem I need to work hard to correct, hence why I’m here.
Good luck to those of you who are trying to get a handle on this. 😅
Has this video helped you in any way?
Okay but what if they like the items and the items bring them joy and they use them regularly? Then what do you recommend to stop the shopping addiction?
Try asking yourself, “Do I, NEED, this item. Hope we all find the help and solutions to our major probs! Love your way, from San Antonio🌸🌸🌸
That's a good question. I think the 'need' that we feel the urgency to fulfill, has to be replaced with another way of fulfilling the need, or actually lessening the need. Lots ways to do that. None of them are necessarily easy..But definitely worth it.
The problem is that the items usually only bring joy for a short time and there are only a number of things we use regularly. Pretty soon we have no space in our homes and not much savings-especially as we get older.
@@lillianbarker4292You hit the nail on the head!!!
Shopping addiction is very real, these women shop online at work. Then must go to a store after work. Some of the excuses will be.. looking for bargains 😂😂
My mom doesn’t think she has a gambling addiction when she texts me to buy her a lotto ticket. I say no and then she thinks I’m disrespectful. Just, NO 😂 I’ve had enough tho.
thanks
Am 49,Ancient and proud 👍
Is there a realistic "shopping" game? That could take care of half of the problem? I love thrifting but even that can become a compulsion.
I believe that shopping is a mondern day primitive need to hunt. I started to make list of items i wanted to buy with price and store. I discovered that i didn't return to purchase any of it. Now if i buy something i often return items.
The worst part of a shopping addiction is my compulsion to look at every single thing in the store. I'm not a fun person to shop with because this compulsively is so strong because i don'twant to miss a great deal.. Any advice?
I swear I “need” everything.
same
Ahahaha in Switzerland every shop is closed on Sundays….
I bet its more than 5%
I keep hearing patent instead of pattern.
This guy looks a bit like Tony Geary.
Any evidence that what you say works?
Hasn't worked for me.
Ancient as me 😂😂😂😂😂
I think compulsive buying is linked with narcissistic personality disorder, you have to hit rock bottom to get a slap, but it's already too late 😞
Thank you! Tomorrow i need to sit down and journal about these prompts. I need to stop shop bc its made my life stagnant. Problem is i used to be bulimic with anxiety and my shopping started with a pshyciatrist as exposure therapy. And the thing with my bulimic is how i enjoyed the rush after. I enjoyed how it made me feel. And the last year ive not been doing this bc of shopping, BUT I dont enjoy shopping. It makes me stuck in a shitty place… but now im scared i wont have the self control to not go back on bulimic habits when i stop. I tried lower the shopping and such but i seem to compensate already.. idk what to do 🥹😂
Wow .. thank you for these techniques!!