Opening Up About Marriage Struggles in the Toddler Years | Day in the life Vlog
Вставка
- Опубліковано 19 лис 2023
- Get a free Organic Peppermint Hydrate when you spend $40 with my link! Click here: us.typology.com/diagnostic/?u...
*Sponsored byTypology
Thank you to Typology for sponsoring today's day in the life of a mom vlog. Let's get honest about marriage struggles during the toddler years and decorate for Christmas!
EVERYDAY PRESENCE JOURNAL: amzn.to/3rry8eR
SHOP MY MERCH: meganacuna.com/shop
PATREON: / meganacuna
Shop my Stuff on Amazon: www.amazon.com/shop/meganacuna
For business inquiries, please email megan@relicaboost.com
WANT TO SEND ME SOMETHING?
700 NW Gilman Blvd # 184
Issaquah WA 98027-5335
Find me on social media:
Instagram: / meganeacuna
TikTok: / megan.acuna
Some links in this description box may be affiliate links, meaning that if you purchase a product through them, I may make a small commission at no additional cost to you. Thank you so much for supporting my channel!
I’m not normally a person that comments down below.. I’m more of the person who enjoys your videos and shows love from afar. But can I just say, how amazing and practical this convo was? I know this isn’t true but it literally feels like influencers don’t struggle at all and it makes me feels so not alone in everything you both mentioned. EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THING. My husband and I resonate with all that was mentioned and had to make some changes in the way we communicate with each other because like you mentioned, having toddlers is the hardest thing that our marriage has gone through and being stretched thin has been our experience 100%. I’m just glad that there are normal every day folks who want and pursue a healthy marriage and family while also acknowledging our imperfections and natural flaws. Thank you for this, I really appreciated the openness and honesty!
Ditto!
You worded this so well! I feel the same way. My husband and I were together alone for over 15yrs, and having a toddler has been the hardest thing our marriage has gone through as well. I do not give my husband enough credit on how present, helping, kind, and involved he is in our lives. I’m so happy to not feel so alone in this phase of my life.
I was going to say the same thing! I'm not normally very active in the comments section, but I wanted to say thank you for being so open and honest in that conversation. It was very refreshing to hear both sides. Our 1.5 year old is the best thing that has ever happened to us but it's so difficult to care for our relationship whilst taking care of him, working, renovating the house and all the other things. I'd love to see more content on how you make time for each other and care for your relationship. Also, it was amazing to see your honesty and respect for each other, you seem to make a great couple.
I get so stoked everytime you refer to yourself as a Domestic Engineer. I started using it as a job title almost 10 years ago right after my wedding. I was having drinks with a friend who is one of those professional career women (lawyer) and I referred to myself as just a housewife. She told me that I was not just a housewife, I was a Domestic Engineer. This gave me such validation that I have used the term ever since and have encouraged others to do likewise.
You and Matt could easily do a whole series on parenting/marriage advice. You both work so well together and communicate so well with eachother. I am not married yet, nor do i have children yet, but I am already making mental note of everything when my boyfriend and I eventually get to this point lol.
YOU ARE SO NICE ❤
@@Matt_Acuna no u ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I feel like nobody talks about this marriage struggle through toddlers years, thankyou so much for this. I needed to hear this.
You're totally describing every marriage. My husband and I have 5 kids. Kids demand a lot of attention. Anyone on UA-cam trying to make it look like it's easy is full of it. It's not easy at all. It's the hardest most rewarding, most cherished time of life EVER, but it is soooooooo hard.
Now most of my kids are in school❤ I'm about 5 years older than you, so in 5 years you'll be living a totally different season of life 😊 soon you'll be staring at Matt with nothing to argue about but what you want to eat for lunch together 😅 the difficult part now for us, is not trying to start all over again by having another baby. We finally are out of the diaper stage after 10 long years!
Our children are very close in age to yours, and my husband and I just talked about how we feel like our marriage consists of the kids and chores. Thanks for sharing this conversation. You're not alone!
When you have children.. especially young children your life generally does mainly consist of children and chores. I think that’s how it should be.
I’m not ordinarily a person who comments on videos but I have never watched a video that made me feel so seen, validated, and hopeful. I appreciate all your recent videos and this one especially about the tough, unspoken parts of motherhood. This one left me in tears because it made me feel less alone. Feeling burnout and experiencing marital conflicts can be discouraging and scary. Just wanted to say I appreciate you and the content you produce! Thank you and to Matt as well for talking about the tough things because it means so much to viewers like myself!
I don’t think I have ever commented on a UA-cam video. But this video right here, the tips you and your husband lovingly offer to strangers, is so kind. I am so confident these tips will help my marriage as we’re entering the season for my son to enter toddlerhood. From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU BOTH! God bless you guys!!! 🎉
Yes, thank you for sharing because so many couples can relate. But I just want to take the time to add that your husband mentioned it makes a difference to point out what you're actually upset about and when he said this audibly I almost shouted, "yes!" I've learned over the last few years that letting my husband know what's actually bothering me as it happens. Even if it's a quick text to let him know so when he comes home he knows what my head space is like so he knows how best to assist when he walks through the door. Or I'll tell him after I've greeted him when he comes home. We try to do mental check ins at least once a week so we know what's going on with each other. It makes the hugest difference and we find it easier to appreciate each other because we are ACTIVELY choosing love every day by our actions and how we care for our relationship in the day to day. Satan hates unity, guys. In is in the day to day life that we must focus on healthy habits.
I wish you and Matt did a podcast because you guys. have the BEST advise! I loved this vlog, thank yall so much for sharing! ❤ also thank you for having Matt on as well it helps so many of us to hear a married couple speak on these things I am taking notes as well lol! Love you guys!
We recorded a single podcast episode a few months back and ran into the struggle of creative differences 😅 Might try again in the future haha!
😂
This really helped me because I was just telling my sister how I feel like couples on social media seem to have it together and i feel like we are the only ones struggling.
that moment near the end where you give rowan his snow globe made me so emotional! i aspire to be as good as a mama as you
I think one of the most important things in marriage is for both parties to continue to try. Try to be better for yourselves, for your family and each other. It’s so important to continue to work on yourself as you get older, and if both people are committed to that goal it does so much for your relationship! Good for both of you for being introspective and thinking about what you can do better!!
Oh boy oh boy do Chris and I relate to this. It was cathartic to watch you guys talk through the struggles with time and bickering, etc. Chris and I are always very quick to forgive and land with love, but it is really frustrating not to have an outlet for those yucky feelings…I only have the one toddler so I can only imagine what it’s like with two. You’re doing it as a team - never forget that! I guess this is what they mean about marriage being hard - y’all are killing it ❤
You guys are all of us with small children. My husband and I live on a tropical island paradise and have the exact same marriage struggles with a 4 and 1 year old.
Love this conversion! So honest and still so much humor
What a great video!! I love how wonderfully you communicate together! ❤❤
I love hearing your real take on marriage and arguing. My husband and I are very different thinkers and I find it so frustrating. Its taken me until my 40s to look at myself and how I handle the situation. I love the STOP technique. The messy garage thing is so me! It takes time to recognise things and the best way to deal with them as a couple. Toddler stage is kaotic but it does still continues as they grow and have school and activities on, its just different.
Your frog is amazing🐸❤
Dude, this vlog couldn’t have come at a better time. We’re traveling with our two under 2, I got sick and the bickering has been nonstop.
Meanwhile IN COMES MATT WITH THE STEEL CHAIR - that STOP acronym is 😘 👌🏻
Thanks you guys for being virtual buddies!
It has been a game changer for me!
I love the open and honest talks! This is a great fighting marriage. You DO have to learn how to fight with your spouse in a healthy way. My husband and i have been working hard on this as well and its amazing how its paid off. ❤
It would be amazing if you could do like a whole series on parenting/marriage advice, like separate videos on that, because seriously: you are truly amazing on talking to each other and us viewers on this topic! 🤩👌 And one other thing, my heart just burst looking at that moment when you give Rowan the snow globe and letting him know that he can have it on the nightstand and look at it whenever he wants. Like all the words that you use when you talk to your kids, I can't even describe it, it's so heartwarming! I'm looking at my sweet sweet one year old sleeping in the baby cam and looking forward to when she gets a little bit older and we can have actual conversations, and now I want to give her a snow globe! All my love to you and your family, from a very cold and snowy Stockholm.
Hello Stockholm! Sending some sun your way. It’s bright, but cold here!
It's helpful to see another strong couple still has issues with the labor divide, makes me feel less alone so thanks for sharing!
The struggle that the vast majority of us is going through now. It's tough, and we are all learning as it comes. Thanks for sharing this
Your skin looks incredible!
I love your vlogs as always :)
That was such a great conversation to watch, thank you for sharing.
It's interesting because my husband and I tend to naturally be people who in times of "big feelings" for us will just shut down and withdraw and not communicate what is going on for us, and that can lead to a lot of things unsaid and stress and wondering like what we've done wrong or if theyre angry at us or something else. So we are both trying to learn to keep those communication gates OPEN.
I in particular am a chronic bottler, so if I dont communicate regularly, it does tend to all come out in a big explosion 🫣🫣
I related to the meal planning a lot - on weeks where I really cant get my head around it, I pull out a notepad at the end of dinnertime and get hubby's ideas for a couple of meals to help with that mental load. Can be super helpful!
Sending love 💕
I can totally relate to all this! I get so overwhelmed mentally when trying to plan christmas gifts, school things, outfits and things needed! Its just absolutely exhaustong, me and my husband are going through that season of life as well! Its tough, but trying to remember its just a season ♥️
I appreciate the transparency you & Matt have shown to us. My husband and I also struggle with the same things. My struggle is that I shut down and then I get defensive/offended. I am trying to not have a spirit of offense. 😭
That frog!!!! Aaa!! What a great first project! Swatch practice is important but I'm so with you on scarves being boring to learn on. Great work!!!
Thank you for sharing! This is such a relevant topic but also can be a really heated discussion. Me and my husband are it feels like perpetually having this labor split conversation and it's such a difficult thing to figure out. This was such a kind, productive discussion! I'm taking notes 😅
Love the idea of alternating meal plan weeks.
That’s awesome you are knitting! I do knitting and crocheting!
Esther Perel. Shes amazing. Lots of great advice for couples.
Thank you for being real and talking about it! So nice that you guys can talk about it and not fight.
How do you do that and not turn it into a fight? 😂
Sometimes you have to fight. Sometimes the thing that needs to be discussed is big and heavy and scary and important and it needs to be fought out. It’s important to accept feedback graciously and not attack. Getting defensive is going to happen because we are humans and emotional.
Here to say my husband does a lot and I'm grateful! There are things he doesnt think of but thats just because his brain is different than mine. But he tries to think of me and our kid all the time.
Also, when we do yell at eachother we sit Celeste down and explain what happened and our feelings and that we couldve gone about it differently. And go over coping skills. She's 3. And appraently so are we 😂
❤Juniper is getting So big😮
They say to try and get through the first year of having a baby without making any huge relationship changes and I think that should be restated when your kid turns three. We are a month into three and dying inside.
Why is three so hard??? I thought I was the only one
Same! Three is a whole different level of hard.
Desperately needed the realism of your convo with Matt. I’m a long time watcher and I’m curious about something. I know you’re in a super busy season of life right now but I remember you doing pizzas on Friday nights and doing puzzles together. Is that still happening?
We almost always still do pizza Friday, but the activities vary greatly now! A lot of time we get the house cleaned up and then snuggle on the couch to watch some TV together. Currently watching Community and Dimension20!
Thank you for sharing such an honest conversation. My husband and I are in the same boat, feeling extremely overwhelmed and exhausted with our two under two and trying to work. We get lots of help and support from family and even then, it is extremely challenging. Hanger and meal prep stress is real and I said enough is enough. We don’t actually make much money and the budget is tight, but we signed up for ready meal delivery with 14 meals between 2 adults and a toddler and a baby to help for the week. IT IS A GAME CHANGER!!! I stopped wasting grocery money on groceries ai end up throwing away since I cant keep up with the cooking and the meals are actually tasty and healthy. We do the monthly subscription with a local company where they focus on healthy, balanced meals and 14 meals/week is about $600 CAD per Month for us. We actually save on our groceries now and I am never worried about my husband being hangry or not having anything to eat. Turns out $11 per meal and cheaper than take out and even some frozen costco stuff. Plus the variety and ability to choose our favourites is awesome. I really recommend. Made everything a billion times easier. I still cook on the weekends, and healthy toddler and baby whole meals most of the time, but beats worrying about every single meal. Literally cook twice a week plus just for the kids and only the stuff we actually lobe and enjoy.
Also totally agree with learning to recover after fights better and getting positive outcomes instead of growing bitter. I think “fights” are necessary as long as they are constructive and have respectful boundaries.
Just here to say that my 3 yr old could never be trusted with a snow globe in her room lol. She’d drop it or something wild. 😂
Update: the one year old dropped it and it broke. So now the new one stays high on the shelf 😂
Can you share the STOP acronym that Matt shared? For conflict resolution? So good but I can’t find it myself online!
Here you go!
S: Stands for STOP. Quite simple huh? Well the first step is just that simple. Stop yourself and your thinking. Take a moment to breathe and then move to step 2.
T: Stands for Think. Filter out the other noise and really think through what is happening. Ask yourself, what am I feeling? What am I hearing? What am I experiencing right now?
O: Stands for Objectify. Once you have thought through all of the input now you can organize and objectify that information. This still is not making a plan to take action. We are just taking the information that you have now observed and decipher why it is happening in this way. Are you hungry and that is why this is happening? Did not sleep as much last night? This is your opportunity to reason through your current state.
P: Stands for Plan. Now that you have slowed down, thought about this situation, and objectified the reasons that this is happening, you are now ready to respond with a plan that will best serve you rather than a reaction that might have made the situation worse.
@@Matt_Acuna thank you for your time!!
Love this video! Out of curiosity, how was the “nagging” nipped in the butt? It’s very much present in our household and would love to get rid of it too 😅😃
Well we try not to use the word nag either, but it usually starts with “reminder that xyz needs doing” or “hey were you still going to xyz” because it can be natural to forget. If you’re the one being reminded it is important to reply with grace and not frustration. Or if you are still thinking about it but haven’t been able to get to it yet, “hey I want you to know I’m still going to do this and haven’t forgotten, I just haven’t had time yet” or “hey I want to do this thing you asked me to do, can you support me by watching the kids for a few minutes?”
My husband and I are parents to two girls (3.5 and 1.5). We have found that we especially struggle with fighting when one or both girls are sick. How do you share roles and responsibilities when kids are sick?
It depends on which one of us also got it 😂 Right now it’s me lol so Matt’s been taking the kids in the morning to let me sleep a little bit when he works from home or it’s the weekend
I replaced the word "nag" or "nagging" with "bi*ch or bi*ching"😅... it works 👍