This Man Must Be Stopped

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[@KT-ki6gz]

Z laying in his bed of chocolate turtle wrappers wishing he had half the rizz of Tarkowski and Bezos 😊

[@doublejacketjimmy391]

When you got money its rizz when you're broke its rizzstraining order

[@Brookler]

"You cannot be part of Rule Britania and lay down the rizz." Never have I been so offended by something so accurate

[@MpanzuSolos]

Nigel farage moment

[@Ryuzakku]

Zealand needs to make a custom football kit with Turtles as his kit sponsor

[@JuanNunez2023]

The Ted Lasso season 4 storyline where Nate starts getting relationship advice from Jamie Tartt.

[@jacklang3314]

Isn’t he already in one?

[@FieldMedic4077]

Thoughts and prayers for Zealand being called a Tik Toker ☹

[@Midtable1881]

James TarShagski

[@jamesbaurus5928]

Tarky is a beast.
This will just make Evertonians love him more.

[@rucdoc]

How to recover from being called a ticktocker: acceptance

[@malokey7]

Eating turtles again ? Lol

[@Truebro79]

Ofc he is

[@joooowoood]

Says a lot about the wives who agreed to be on this programme

[@zanguini]

Theories 15 Year-Old Zealand Had:
1. Soccer would be better would better if it started and ended with penalties.

[@davidborkwood2368]

“WHERE ARE THE TURTLES!?”

[@josephc4722]

Rizz is part of the game innit

[@Avioto]

Ok now I want to know what theories 15 year-old Zealand was into

[@Mombot_z]

Luckily, I taught him better 😉

[@adeepsingh81]

Zealand is great

[@Countryballs326]

Agreed

[@moze2324]

Tarkowski has unlimited rizz😂😂

[@Ziggy_Eagle]

GREEEEEEEEEN!!!!! Loving it! And the BANTER! 👌🎉

[@eirakari]

Come for the football videos, stay for the perfect singing 🙌

[@aristaeus2514]

Z you are selling yourself short, you are the singer/songwriter of the hitsong "Loans... Loansss Lo ho oooooans"

[@LordWay]

Everton chant "Stand up for the top shagger" 😂

[@hellobee195]

This is better than the main

[@wfcjosh]

thank you zealand
very cool

[@domecyd3955]

As an Evertonian, this is gold😂😂

[@MpanzuSolos]

Not an Everton fan but I love this guy for his shithousery 🤣

[@jamesbaurus5928]

He really is an amazing shithouse

[@mgradiant]

11:01 He knows he’s NEVER EVER EVER gonna live this down with his teammates. When this drops, he knows that he’s fucked. Pun unintended.

[@alexflame9383]

CHOCOLATE TURTLESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

[@jonaszahid3892]

Hi fellow Zealandists

[@pjkerrigan20]

I’ve never put it together before but Tarkowksi low-key looks A LOT like Steve Parish

[@hungotuan4431]

Rizz Tarkowski

[@encorefootball]

Tark has the charisma of a cucumber

[@salbenrosli707]

Seems like you are wearing my local rival kit, Geylang International.

[@thebeardedmanager]

I can't see a picture of Bezos and not sing the Bo Burnham song. JEFFREEEYYY BEEZOS!!

[@fpsoccer9791]

You're becoming the Football version of Moistcritikal

[@terencehuang3810]

Nice! Wearing Geylang International jersey

[@LordWay]

The way I have done the exact same thing to my girlfriend that Tarkovski did 😂

[@lingv_26599]

Keep this mam away from chocolate turtles

[@imRehnzy]

I planned it for you

[@princewillmadugba]

Sean Dyche will have been disappointed, No wonder he's not starting😂😂

[@sync232]

now his nickname in the dressing room must be shaggy

[@meowwww9275]

Sorry but we have retired that nickname in respect of Gary "shaggy" Stevens.

[@williamjt31]

LOANNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSUHHHHHHH?

[@dryxgaming9161]

Zealand's loan song is better than Adele's

[@SirEEf13]

I have no idea why people are so impressed with that Tarkowski clip. Credit to the guy for trying but he has absolutely NO rizz imo.
The way he's staring her down like a serial killer...if I was the girl and there weren't any cameras around I'd run away.
Maybe I just don't know what I'm talking about but the only thing he has is the confidence to utter this garbage in such a lackluster way.
Maybe it's the British accent and that's just what rizz sounds like over there.
If that's really his wife then I'm happy for them. There might be layers to their conversation that we could only dream to understand from such a small clip. They at least seem in tune with each other so they likely know how to talk to each other and make it work.

[@mortiphago]

Wide thumbnail

[@thargoff]

On purpose…

[@Ayumu1831]

They actually seem like me and my fiancee 😂😭😭

[@bluesmachine1006]

He’s making up for his midlife crisis by increasing Amazon prime by £20 to £90 p/an and just announced you have to pay another £30 to remove adverts now. Tw@

[@Oldgit60]

Any truth in the rumour that Everton are ditching the Z Cars theme, and will be running out to the James Brown classic Sex Machine?

[@paulomotorides]

ouch Florida a lot a sentences in worlwide news start with a Florida man and usually it´s not good just saying

[@gugga2745]

this show must be where mahrez told his wife its part of the game innit or whatever he said right?

[@xixXxxXxix]

Aye, he doesn't give a fuck lol

[@StandardRossoneri]

Z just admit you don't like running

[@xixXxxXxix]

You're wrong about the concept. It's literally just about 5 Footballer's Wives/Partners..Mahrez, Jorginho, Gündo, Tarkowski & Matt Turner.

[@xixXxxXxix]

Am not gonna delete this even tho I didn't wait for you to explain your realisation in vid lol

[@infinitascontas]

day 2 asking to upload these on spotify

[@ramiglesias7387]

hi

[@aldobonaso3481]

I have absolutely no clue who this Tarkowski character is...

[@ganaed9954]

I thought Tarkowski was polish lol

[@Spermwhales93]

1/4 Polish - one of his grandparents was. He was actually eligible to play for Poland internationally because of that.

[@jamesbaurus5928]

His family has Polish ancestors, but he is the most English Englishman who ever Englished