@@Psych2go Hey I was wondering if you could cover a video about childhood trauma from parents who should have got divorced but never did? I can’t find very much about that topic but I know I can’t be the only one who grew up wishing their parents would leave eachother and stop hurting one another.. I wonder in what ways it damaged me. I remember sitting by my cracked door just listening to them fight so many nights when I was young
I was neglected in my childhood. I was always called 'mature' for my age. But they never knew how much I had to deal on my own. How many times I cried myself alone into sleep. Today I have so many emotional issues, yes I might be very mature for my age... But I literally payed that price for my childhood... For not being a child. No one was there for me, while I tried to be there for everyone else. It hurts to realize that you neglect yourself because your parents neglected you They're not even bad people.... But they can't deal with their own emotions... They don't know how to be emotional supportive because no one showed them
Was at a friend's house last night, and he got his adult son a beautiful gift for no reason at all. It hit me like a ton of bricks - it wasn't the gift - it was the LOVE that came with the gift. I'm starting to realise that a child requires more growing up than a roof over their head and a plate with some food on it at 6pm
I have never felt like I had childhood trauma. I always felt emotionally neglected, kinda lonely and misunderstood but I thought that it was just how my parents are, and I always tried to make them proud of me, even though I never shared my emotions because I felt that they never valued them enough. So I became a people pleaser, not making my own decisions but trying to make people happy around me enough to sacrifice myself constantly, and my only tip to cope with emotions was journaling. I started at 9 years old, with no knowledge of it as an actual technique to cope. I just thought "I like writing, I will create a safe space with no rules to express everything I can't say or I don't want to say out loud". To anyone who feels this is relatable, I'm currently 27 years old, I still write, but definitely not every day or even month. Just when I feel like it. And it's so wholesome. I have gotten to love myself, now, and me from the past, to feel accepted and understood. It absolutely works. I still need some therapy but if you can't have it for now (for whatever reason), writing is a good way to cope. Just remember. That's your notebook only. Yours. No one gets to read it completely. It's your safe space and there are no rules. If you want to autoanalyze yourself, do it. If you feel like drawing today, do it. If you feel like writing a poem, do it. If you feel like scribbling, do it. No rules. Only yourself and your emotions.
Your story is my story but I didn’t start journaling on and off until my 40’s. I’m 52 yrs old and my healing is just beginning. Be proud of yourself for doing the work. Sending you an abundance of healing and peace as you embark on your journey. Thank you for sharing your journey.
i didn't journal but i had a song book where i just expressed my emotions through lyrics while i went deep into how i felt, while listening to instrumental music. sadly eventually one day i felt crushed inside and i looked at the book and all the pain felt like it would destroy me if i started looking into it which felt tempting because i wanted to get to the bottom of how i feel so i could process it and move on. So much pain, shame and hate came from just looking at that book that i ripped it to shreds. i still think about that book as im sure there were some really insightful things i wrote that i could have looked into in the future or at the very least handed it over to a counselor to give them some insight so i could help them help me, such a shame. anyway rant over, i do believe getting those emotions on paper was a good start though.
I can't help but smile at the fact that everyone in the comment sections of Psych2Go's channel can talk about what they're going through in life without fearing what others will say, because literally everyone is going through something to the point where judgement is out the window.
Just as a result of their authoritative position. They were always right and I was always wrong. Even though philisophers and the Bible say the human mind is foulable.
At one point I probably started thinking it was part of it my fault, when I know now it wasn't!! There was a girl in my childhood, she was really mean to me, and I'm pretty sure she has no idea of the harm she caused!! Just writing this makes me feel better, hope everyone realizes it's not their fault!!
@@itsmenatika some people do!! At least I've got a lot of relatives that do care for me!! It's not about not caring, at least don't be mean to other people!! You're in your right not to like someone, cos of some physical characteristic, whatever!! But no right to treat them like s**, people have feelings!!
@@annaluizacesar6106 in idealistic world that how it would work, but it doesn't. People like hurting others even just for fun. I've met a lot of people who were just hurting people just because of boredom or because they think "it's funny". In real world if you have someone to look after you, you are very lucky. Majority of people doesn't have anyone to even say "I'm sad", that's world, that's our cruel world. The irony is the more money and influence you have, the lower chances to have genuine friends. A lot friends will go away once you lose money/influence or try to get some from themselves. That was happening a lot of world leaders and that usually why a lot of them doesn't care about people anymore. People like Hitler, Stalin etc weren't created by themselves. They were created by society. Stalin has got very abusive parents for example. A lot of killers have very great reasoning (unless they're just mentally ill). They just started hating society. Nowadays society cares only about money and influence. That's how capitalism works People doesn't care about relatives very often, why would they care about unknown people?
TIMESTAMPS 0:38 Realise it's not your fault 1:22 Welcome your emotions 2:08 Recognise and identify your emotions 2:43 Keep track of your emotions 3:42 Find ways to self soothe Step 1 Make a list of possible strategies Step 2 Emotions charts and identifying your emotions will come in handy here Step 3 Try out different strategies and pay attention to what works and what doesn't work
Why did it suggest eating junk food and not exercise? Junk food will make you more depressed, exercise will improve your mood and your overall health making you happier in the long run. They might as well suggested smoking, drinking or drugs they are all terrible and temporary for your mental and physical health.
@@Wolfengemoen they aren't the same thing and if you want to spread negativity do it somewhere else. Junko food occasionally is fine as long as it doesn't become a permenant coping mechanism. You should have watched the whole video- they suggested many things. And a hot chocolate and some good cookies never harmed anyone, so ease up mate
Literally i am crying while watching this video Because i didn't do anything bad to deserve all those childhood trauma I WANT TO SAY SORRY to my younger self who suffered a lot FORGIVE ME MY INNER CHILD IT'S TIME TO HEAL HONEY
Needed this. Due to my dads alcoholism, and a lot of fights with my mom because of it I've developed ptsd, and the other night it triggered really badly. Glad this video came to be
My parents were not alcoholics, but there was a lot of arguing and fighting in the house when I was growing up. My parents told me this was normal healthy behavior.
I love and respect my parents but emotionally they weren't there and that led to me being emotionally numb and led to me bottling the good and the bad things I go through in my life. Till this day a lot of people are even scared to talk to me cuz of my coldness and my emotionless side. It's good but bad at the same time 😶. As I'm watching this video I'm still emotionally numb and thanks for uploading it 🤝
Agree 100/% because of this, I was in a prison of my own stinking thinking and it was killing me, as soon as I was aware this was the cause bingo. Changed my thinking and the way I looked @ things, and the things I look @ changed. Read this some were, I could never cry. No blame here if my parents had been different I wouldn’t be the person I am today, so grateful. ❤😊
The devalidation of my emotions was a big one, or feeling like I cant do anything I want. So I stopped caring in my adult life, which has become a big problem I now discovered. emotions may not be logical or triggered on purpose, and that suppressing the feeling that they are not valid hurts or itself is "childish behavior". It got to a point of when I bottled my emotions until I have a panic attack, but writing now helps me a lot. I wrote a quote down one day that stays on my mind. "live free with care, not a care-free life". I want to feel free with what I take care in, not devoid of the ability to care or be free from it. Caring is not a Burden, but the necessity of choice.
After years of putting it off, I referred myself for talking therapy. Months of being on a waiting list later, I now have my counselling starting next month.
@hellokitty_56kitty75 As I get older, the tough adult decisions feel like an ultamatum. I thought things were supposed to be easier. It just seems like an endless, painful lesson. I am tired.
If you are reading this you can heal and break the unhealthy habbits, I belive in you, have compassion for your journey, you are not alone ❤ recomended book, Dr. Joe Dispenza - Breaking the habbit of being youself.
Excellent video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back.
Do you not know simple and complex emotions like sadness and resentment can stay for a long time and influence a person's mental well-being and even life?
I beg to differ lmao hopelessness can DEFINITELY be a state of being when it takes up all of your life and throws it away. It’s hard to remember the good things when you’re shutting out everything because people made you think your emotions DON’T matter
"It's not my fault" that sent something throughout my body when I said it, it still does, but hey, day by day, I'm getting through this, I'm getting better, I'm trying
That’s the thing though. I always knew it wasn’t my fault, which made it worse. “Why would they hate me so much when I didn’t do anything ?” I grew up angry and I just couldn’t get close to anyone because I just cannot trust anyone
In my childhood I was happy and cheerful until a series of bereavements. After that I was never the same. I suppressed all my emotions because it was too much. Only now I'm slowly recovering. Learning that it's okay to have emotions. That's what makes us human. What's a natural thing for someone to sing and dance is something for me to get used to again. Emotions are like a wave they go up and down. I just gotta get back on that surfboard and try to catch a narly wave. 🙂🙃☹️😁🤐🏄♂️🌊
This has literally just, finally, started happening in my life and it’s the last five days, after 40+ years of carrying around all my trauma, neglect, and hurt. It’s not my fault is literally the first thing I came to without my therapist having to bring this up. Yay! I’m oh so very happy to see this little bit of light shining through.
Unfortunately, some people experience trauma throughout their lives! Whatever the case, good luck to everyone because we all need help of some kind at some point, and hopefully there will be someone there to pick you up! I wish a happy ending for everyone! Goodbye!
Don't confuse Love & Like... You're supposed to love everyone, but you DO NOT have to LIKE them. It is Perfectly OKAY & NORMAL TO NOT LIKE someone. That is what Ghandi & Jesus taught if you follow their teachings. They were LOVE, but did not like the ways of this evil world. Godspeed ❤️
Freud said: Dont forget to hate your parents. Hate as well as sorrow is the love you needed and didnt receive. Getting to the bottom of our emotional truth is important to our well being. All your emotions have the right to life. You are not betraying anyone by giving your emotions a safe place to be, even if its anger at your parents. You are angry because your design knows what it needed but didnt receive it. Now, its you that needs to be there for you. However they treated you is not how you yourself want to treat yourself. Treat your emotions like children.
0:00 Intro (0:35 Disclaimer) 0:38 Realize It's Not Your Fault 1:22 Welcome Your Emotions 2:07 Recognize & Identify Your Emotions 2:43 Keep Track of How You Feel 3:41 Ways to Self-Soothe: •(4:27 Step 1 - Make a List) •(4:47 Step 2 - Emotion Charts & Identifying Your Emotions) •(4:57 Step 3 - Try Out Different Strategies & Pay Attention To What Works & What Doesn't Work) 5:10 Outro ---------------------------------------- (Hope this helps ^^)
Its been 2 yrs, my mom always beat me and neglect me infront of my elder sis.. to feel her that she loves her more😢😢and also torcher me in front of her. And my elder sis enjoy that also support her.. I want to God ,plzz give her Karma back😊😊
WOW!!! This was hard, but powerful. Growing up, my parents told me that kids don't have feelings or emotions. There were times when I cried in school because I was teased or bullied, and I tried to hide the tears before I came home. But my mother could see that my eyes were red and said to me "I could see you were crying. Your eyes are red. Go to your room. You are punished. You are not suppose to cry."
@@cherryuu24 thank youu soo muchh it means a lottt❤️. U went out of your way to reply to a stranger you're really a pure soul🥺 Hope you fight n always be victorious over any struggle that might come your way!🫂🥰
@@カンガナ awe you so wholesome T-T im having a rough weeks and this made my day less hard, i hope you know that you deserve all the love and care that come to your way, and i hope you know you are so so capable to win every war that you facing
I have BPD as a result of my childhood trauma and I got sober at age 31 after hitting a brutal bottom. I didn’t want to get sober, I just didn’t have a choice anymore because the alternative was ending myself. I was NOT prepared for life without my coping mechanism (numbing out). 13 years later I’m still managing my trauma but I’ve come FAR. Have faith and just keep putting one foot in front of the other. 💕
I finished reading this book couple of weeks back, The book is a life saver and made me understand everything that was wrong in my life, and now I am seeing my fav channel talk about it !!!
When I was younger, we had an elementary school teacher who lived near us. Her daughter and I went to school together. The teacher told me years later something changed in me. I was a teenager at the time. I'm not sure what happened, but cptsd is a part of my life. Good luck to everyone.
Wacthing the video while crying abuot my chilhood.I was bullied all the time.I am turning 22 next month.trying to heal, and its so painfull.thank you for the help❤
I go through moments every day where my heart all of a sudden hurts like the feeling you get after a break up, but whenever I feel it I always think about my childhood and all the traumatic scenes replay on my mind. It’s a physical pain I feel and it makes me cry 😭
sending lots of hugs and energy to you, do know that it is okay to feel any emotions nor thoughts, please be gentle with yourself and take it slow, i hope by time you able to heal from it, im proud of you for still being here
I never imagined having childhood trauma until I started counseling and my counselor pointed it out to me. Turns out my VERY rough experience in middle school (nearly 15 years ago) has stuck with me all this time and made me into quite a recluse. I even have a hard time reaching out to good friends!
On the first part of the video I was already crying, because after the whole trauma I have experienced it sometimes makes me think I don't deserve to be treated kindly and its honestly impossible to believe that there is someone out there who actually loves and cares for me
I think i have least trauma than amyone cuz my parent taught me to love my self and selfcare, and teaching me how to deal with my emotions and how to use it. Im still learning tho. There's lots of trauma family trauma, parents trauma, child trauma,and more but always love yur self cuz yu gonna need your in the end. If yu wanna know how to love yur self yu need to workout or stretch, meditate, read spiritual books, journal, and talk to yur self and also eat healthy foods too. Im a 15 year boy saying this.
Timestamps 1). Realize it's your fault 0:37 2). Welcome your emotions 1:22 3). Recognize and identify your emotions 2:07 4). Keep track of how you feel 2:43 5). Find ways to self-soothe 3:40 6). Make a list 4:26 7). This is where emotions charts and identifying emotions come in handy 4:46 8). Try out different strategies and pay attention to what works and what doesn't work 4:57 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Some trauma can't be healed, or delt with. Some people suffer to the point where they become emotionless, they also will never trust someone ever again in their entire life. Some scars cannot be mendes.
I was diagnosed with CPTSD and Chronic Depression a few years ago from C.E.N. as well as one of the worst years of my life. I lost my best friend to Leukemia, my young cousin found a gun, was playing with it and... I also had to let go of the only person I have ever truly had feelings for. All within 6 months. The hardest lesson to learn is "It's Not My Fault." Some days I still struggle with this. between yesterday's "How to unf**k your life " and this one, let me just say "Thank You, Amanda."
I have tried to understand how to feel my emotions, my therapist just says to do it and it isnt hard, but it is. I can cry, but i never feel sad at all. And that goes with many other things.
I feel pain when I recive affection. I fought so hard not to become this damaged. I did not become an evil person or abandoned my child like my parents did, but at what cost. I literally feel pain like affection is not compatible to who I became. Undeserving, unconfortable, unstrustworthy, overall it makes me cry. And remember that the affection is not coming from the people I yearned for. I don't allow man near me, and when they go over my wall of ice, I ghost them or act annoying. I can't control it. I used to be pretty and young. I really lost it all trying to be loved by my parents.
Being an autistic child and also being emotionally neglected has created intense challenges throughout my adulthood. I always felt so gaslit when my parents would say they loved me, then ignore me and tell at me while I was legitimately confused why they were upset. Has created a lot of self doubt and a "fawn" response that I still struggle with today, but I am improving very quickly now that I've been in therapy for over 2 years :)
I have the same issue wth. But I'm a teen and now I can't get anything done. Like, I can't decide anything for myself. My mom has always pushed down anything I came out with. I wanted to take art classes? "Sure, but...!" I wanted to do paddle classes, forced by my parents. "It's too expensive!" Idk. I feel like they don't care about my health anymore. My family is already crumbling to pieces and my mother is a narcissist.
@@ZZZ_LocoWoman It's really hard when you feel like you don't have any agency in life, especially when you feel like you deserve more than what you are given. I remember seeing a counselor briefly as a teen, during the height of my struggles between my family. He said the most helpful thing anyone could possibly say to me after seeing my home life and how my parents treated me. He just said "You're right, this isn't fair, but you've made it this far and soon you'll be out of this situation". Simple, but true, because that was the first time someone else actually confirmed my feelings, and I could finally let my resentment and anger towards my family go, because I accepted my situation instead of trying to fight it. Obviously this advice won't help a lot of people because it feels very hand-wavy and a lot like "just don't feel bad!". It worked because someone else saw what it was like to be me, and came to the same conclusions I did.
When I was reading that book I felt like it was written about me. It's like "Where are the cameras in my home and my brain while I grew up"?? But be warned, for me the understanding of what happened to me made me take another look at everyone in my life, and it made me realize no one really cares about me, never had - not even me. It's been 3 years since that, I went to therapy and spent all that time learning everything I could about human psychology and how the world really works - and everything I learned since just made me want even less connection with other people. I'm sure some people were able to recover from their childhood, but for me it ruined my life. I kinda wish now that I never read it, as they say - "ignorance is bliss". So be warned - if you don't have someone close to you who can help you heal, it can cause more damage than help you.
I can relate to your comment. I'm sorry you went through what you did. In my own journey of self-realization/discovery I have stumbled upon the same issue-it seemed like I was happier when I was younger and ignorant of what was happening around me. While knowing the nature of the problem shines a light on previously unrecognized unsmiling truths, I believe that knowledge can also conversely help us heal better. You are correct you have to have the right support system around you to heal. It can be a sort of catch-22. By the time I realized what had actually happened in my childhood and formative years, I saw that in my young adulthood I had managed to surround myself with people who were similar to my neglectful parents, and I have had very little emotional support from those around me even when I do open up nowadays.
Thank you so much for making this video, there are so many videos out there about trauma but i haven't come across to a video that clearly explains on how to overcome it. These steps were so clear and accessible so i finally feel like i actually understand what i can specifically do, so again, thank you so, so much ❤
I went through a lot in my childhood. Now i have to let go and its scary and exhausting always having to fight battles on my own the same way i did when i was younger. I never know when to seek solace from a friend or to deal with things on my own, and that makes me feel like a burden. I have so many distractions to forget about everything but now i just have to face the pain head on and im scared. VERY scared. I still live with my parents and i dont know whether to tell them or deal with it on my own. I really just wish i could wake up one morning and feel completely better, but life just doesnt work that way😭😭 i have someone that can help me get a hold of my parents but i dont know whether i should reach out to them or wether that will help. Complicated, i know😊😭
Thank you for this video! I have been in therapy since kindergarten bc of neglect from my parents. And i still struggle with feelings of it being my fault and how im unlovable.
I didn't think what I just did was the first step. I was having another flashbacks of things from way back when I was younger and I couldn't help but feel like pouring it all out again and hope it goes away when I finish. But that wasn't really an effective solution. I was expressing myself through sobbing and ranting to my friends. Although this time , I decided not to. I did cry though. But I thought of writing stuff on my notes , like " Hey , it's not your fault. It was out of your control. " And surprisingly , I felt lighter. I never imagined that I could cheer myself up , especially this way. I thought I'd be isolating myself again. I realized , that I could choose to be nicer , and help myself heal without desperately needing someone.
im so proud of you kicchi, its not easy at all, and silly how i relate to this a lot, i do hope you know that you are worthy of love and hope, no matter what your emotions and thoughts nor struggles is
@@cherryuu24omg, I just saw this now after months. Thank you so much! I'm making progress on taking care of myself. I hope you're doing well! Take care and Merry Christmas !🎄🎄
I watch your videos and I watched one about like “never say these things to your children” and every sentence you said for them to not say they say to me daily
Childhood trauma is nots fun In combination with other stuff, the truama left me with a huge hole where my chdhood should be, aside from select negitive memories. Ive kinda been learning how to adult with no instruction manual, but so far i think ive been doing well
I struggle alot with childhood neglect and I'm still only a minor, but it's had such an impact on me it's getting to the point where I cant take it anymore and I feel empty. I mostly got all my behaviors because of my mom, and my dad can't do much which sucks. Thank you for making videos like these that can help me with starting my healing process 🩷🩷🩷
I healed from childhood trauma by talking about it. I talked about it at church, that church accused me of demon possession because i was talking about my father like he was abusive. But i needed the accusations anyway.
There's moments I wish I could forget but I can't, I keep going back to when I was kidnapped, and to my dad attacking me. I keep thinking it's my fault this stuff happened but I know it isn't.
Thank you so much for those tips.
It sad that some parents neglect their childs...
Thank you so much for your support!
children*
Awww...thank you and sending hugs right back..Big cosmic ones 😊
@@Psych2go
Hey I was wondering if you could cover a video about childhood trauma from parents who should have got divorced but never did? I can’t find very much about that topic but I know I can’t be the only one who grew up wishing their parents would leave eachother and stop hurting one another.. I wonder in what ways it damaged me. I remember sitting by my cracked door just listening to them fight so many nights when I was young
@@Ashley_-kb3lh well, that's sad
I was neglected in my childhood.
I was always called 'mature' for my age. But they never knew how much I had to deal on my own. How many times I cried myself alone into sleep. Today I have so many emotional issues, yes I might be very mature for my age... But I literally payed that price for my childhood... For not being a child.
No one was there for me, while I tried to be there for everyone else.
It hurts to realize that you neglect yourself because your parents neglected you
They're not even bad people.... But they can't deal with their own emotions... They don't know how to be emotional supportive because no one showed them
It resonates with me so much
I feel this so much! Sending hugs! 🫂 🥲❤
I’m giving everyone in the comment section a hug 🫂
Hug*
🫂
🫂🫂🤍
🫂🫂
I need one
Dang what a coincidence I was just thinking of my childhood trauma and not being taught how to deal with emotions
Me too 😊
I hear you
Google is watching. 🫥
Same here
Dude, there's no such thing
you must have googled it somewhere and the cookies spread ;)
Was at a friend's house last night, and he got his adult son a beautiful gift for no reason at all. It hit me like a ton of bricks - it wasn't the gift - it was the LOVE that came with the gift. I'm starting to realise that a child requires more growing up than a roof over their head and a plate with some food on it at 6pm
I have never felt like I had childhood trauma. I always felt emotionally neglected, kinda lonely and misunderstood but I thought that it was just how my parents are, and I always tried to make them proud of me, even though I never shared my emotions because I felt that they never valued them enough. So I became a people pleaser, not making my own decisions but trying to make people happy around me enough to sacrifice myself constantly, and my only tip to cope with emotions was journaling. I started at 9 years old, with no knowledge of it as an actual technique to cope. I just thought "I like writing, I will create a safe space with no rules to express everything I can't say or I don't want to say out loud". To anyone who feels this is relatable, I'm currently 27 years old, I still write, but definitely not every day or even month. Just when I feel like it. And it's so wholesome. I have gotten to love myself, now, and me from the past, to feel accepted and understood. It absolutely works. I still need some therapy but if you can't have it for now (for whatever reason), writing is a good way to cope. Just remember. That's your notebook only. Yours. No one gets to read it completely. It's your safe space and there are no rules. If you want to autoanalyze yourself, do it. If you feel like drawing today, do it. If you feel like writing a poem, do it. If you feel like scribbling, do it. No rules. Only yourself and your emotions.
Your story is my story but I didn’t start journaling on and off until my 40’s. I’m 52 yrs old and my healing is just beginning. Be proud of yourself for doing the work. Sending you an abundance of healing and peace as you embark on your journey. Thank you for sharing your journey.
i didn't journal but i had a song book where i just expressed my emotions through lyrics while i went deep into how i felt, while listening to instrumental music.
sadly eventually one day i felt crushed inside and i looked at the book and all the pain felt like it would destroy me if i started looking into it which felt tempting because i wanted to get to the bottom of how i feel so i could process it and move on. So much pain, shame and hate came from just looking at that book that i ripped it to shreds.
i still think about that book as im sure there were some really insightful things i wrote that i could have looked into in the future or at the very least handed it over to a counselor to give them some insight so i could help them help me, such a shame.
anyway rant over, i do believe getting those emotions on paper was a good start though.
I can't help but smile at the fact that everyone in the comment sections of Psych2Go's channel can talk about what they're going through in life without fearing what others will say, because literally everyone is going through something to the point where judgement is out the window.
An option we didn't have when I was a kid. No support groups.
Lol nah... no one can physically do anything to me so it's safe to say anything online unlike irl
Yes, no judgement just support.
True
"Realize it's not your fault". The other hard part to this personally was forgiving myself.
Beating yourself up of things that you can't control.
Just as a result of their authoritative position. They were always right and I was always wrong. Even though philisophers and the Bible say the human mind is foulable.
At one point I probably started thinking it was part of it my fault, when I know now it wasn't!! There was a girl in my childhood, she was really mean to me, and I'm pretty sure she has no idea of the harm she caused!! Just writing this makes me feel better, hope everyone realizes it's not their fault!!
It doesn't matter if it's your or not. No one will care about this. Sad reality. People don't care about each other
@@itsmenatika some people do!! At least I've got a lot of relatives that do care for me!! It's not about not caring, at least don't be mean to other people!! You're in your right not to like someone, cos of some physical characteristic, whatever!! But no right to treat them like s**, people have feelings!!
@@annaluizacesar6106 in idealistic world that how it would work, but it doesn't. People like hurting others even just for fun. I've met a lot of people who were just hurting people just because of boredom or because they think "it's funny". In real world if you have someone to look after you, you are very lucky. Majority of people doesn't have anyone to even say "I'm sad", that's world, that's our cruel world.
The irony is the more money and influence you have, the lower chances to have genuine friends. A lot friends will go away once you lose money/influence or try to get some from themselves. That was happening a lot of world leaders and that usually why a lot of them doesn't care about people anymore.
People like Hitler, Stalin etc weren't created by themselves. They were created by society. Stalin has got very abusive parents for example.
A lot of killers have very great reasoning (unless they're just mentally ill). They just started hating society.
Nowadays society cares only about money and influence. That's how capitalism works
People doesn't care about relatives very often, why would they care about unknown people?
TIMESTAMPS
0:38 Realise it's not your fault
1:22 Welcome your emotions
2:08 Recognise and identify your emotions
2:43 Keep track of your emotions
3:42 Find ways to self soothe
Step 1 Make a list of possible strategies
Step 2 Emotions charts and identifying your emotions will come in handy here
Step 3 Try out different strategies and pay attention to what works and what doesn't work
Why did it suggest eating junk food and not exercise? Junk food will make you more depressed, exercise will improve your mood and your overall health making you happier in the long run. They might as well suggested smoking, drinking or drugs they are all terrible and temporary for your mental and physical health.
@@Wolfengemoen they aren't the same thing and if you want to spread negativity do it somewhere else. Junko food occasionally is fine as long as it doesn't become a permenant coping mechanism. You should have watched the whole video- they suggested many things. And a hot chocolate and some good cookies never harmed anyone, so ease up mate
Literally i am crying while watching this video Because i didn't do anything bad to deserve all those childhood trauma I WANT TO SAY SORRY to my younger self who suffered a lot FORGIVE ME MY INNER CHILD IT'S TIME TO HEAL HONEY
😭😭😭
❤
Needed this. Due to my dads alcoholism, and a lot of fights with my mom because of it I've developed ptsd, and the other night it triggered really badly. Glad this video came to be
My parents were not alcoholics, but there was a lot of arguing and fighting in the house when I was growing up. My parents told me this was normal healthy behavior.
I love and respect my parents but emotionally they weren't there and that led to me being emotionally numb and led to me bottling the good and the bad things I go through in my life. Till this day a lot of people are even scared to talk to me cuz of my coldness and my emotionless side. It's good but bad at the same time 😶. As I'm watching this video I'm still emotionally numb and thanks for uploading it 🤝
Agree 100/% because of this, I was in a prison of my own stinking thinking and it was killing me, as soon as I was aware this was the cause bingo. Changed my thinking and the way I looked @ things, and the things I look @ changed. Read this some were, I could never cry. No blame here if my parents had been different I wouldn’t be the person I am today, so grateful. ❤😊
@@mariehaverty8209 true parents definitely made us who we are today
@sandiletwala3001 the reason we come trought them, it wasnt an accident
@@mariehaverty8209 it isn't because a child is a blessing to the parents
Yeah and then your parents try to convince you you have Asperger’s or some shit. Like yeah no, you did this to me
Never have I clicked on a video so fast.
Thanks for your support! It means a lot! Hope this video helps you out
Yeah , i know the feeling, we need to remember we're all damaged from our childhood.
same lol
It's ok,
U have to take care of your 🫂🥰
The devalidation of my emotions was a big one, or feeling like I cant do anything I want. So I stopped caring in my adult life, which has become a big problem I now discovered. emotions may not be logical or triggered on purpose, and that suppressing the feeling that they are not valid hurts or itself is "childish behavior". It got to a point of when I bottled my emotions until I have a panic attack, but writing now helps me a lot. I wrote a quote down one day that stays on my mind. "live free with care, not a care-free life". I want to feel free with what I take care in, not devoid of the ability to care or be free from it. Caring is not a Burden, but the necessity of choice.
After years of putting it off, I referred myself for talking therapy. Months of being on a waiting list later, I now have my counselling starting next month.
how’s it going? Is it helpful?
I try to avoid everything that makes me feel stressed, and now I want to avoid life itself. It's always only painful.
I feel this so much! That’s why I’m always procrastinating and distracting myself from doing the things I need to do 😢
@hellokitty_56kitty75 As I get older, the tough adult decisions feel like an ultamatum. I thought things were supposed to be easier. It just seems like an endless, painful lesson. I am tired.
@@jasonfitzpatrick414it gets better.
If you are reading this you can heal and break the unhealthy habbits, I belive in you, have compassion for your journey, you are not alone ❤ recomended book, Dr. Joe Dispenza - Breaking the habbit of being youself.
This comment is spot on. I'm currently reading that book. Thank you, brother foe being so supportive.
Excellent video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back.
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her/him?
Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
@@michael-gg2rhwhat a silly way to get your money scammed lol gotta give points for creativity tho
Hopelessness is just a feeling, not a state of being
It is!
Sadness and emptiness are also "just" feelings yet depression is a mental illness
Do you not know simple and complex emotions like sadness and resentment can stay for a long time and influence a person's mental well-being and even life?
I beg to differ lmao hopelessness can DEFINITELY be a state of being when it takes up all of your life and throws it away. It’s hard to remember the good things when you’re shutting out everything because people made you think your emotions DON’T matter
"It's not my fault" that sent something throughout my body when I said it, it still does, but hey, day by day, I'm getting through this, I'm getting better, I'm trying
That’s the thing though. I always knew it wasn’t my fault, which made it worse. “Why would they hate me so much when I didn’t do anything ?” I grew up angry and I just couldn’t get close to anyone because I just cannot trust anyone
SAME
Remember you are never alone ❤❤❤
Running on Empty was the first book where the entire thing felt like it was written for and about me. It was incredibly validating and enlightening.
In my childhood I was happy and cheerful until a series of bereavements. After that I was never the same. I suppressed all my emotions because it was too much. Only now I'm slowly recovering. Learning that it's okay to have emotions. That's what makes us human. What's a natural thing for someone to sing and dance is something for me to get used to again. Emotions are like a wave they go up and down. I just gotta get back on that surfboard and try to catch a narly wave.
🙂🙃☹️😁🤐🏄♂️🌊
This has literally just, finally, started happening in my life and it’s the last five days, after 40+ years of carrying around all my trauma, neglect, and hurt. It’s not my fault is literally the first thing I came to without my therapist having to bring this up. Yay! I’m oh so very happy to see this little bit of light shining through.
ive beeen waiting for this kind of vid! thank you so much, im still going through this stuff and i want to stop it's effects on me.
Unfortunately, some people experience trauma throughout their lives! Whatever the case, good luck to everyone because we all need help of some kind at some point, and hopefully there will be someone there to pick you up! I wish a happy ending for everyone! Goodbye!
Someone told me when I was younger "always love your mother no matter what" and I have been conflicted ever since.
Don't confuse Love & Like...
You're supposed to love everyone, but you DO NOT have to LIKE them.
It is Perfectly OKAY & NORMAL TO NOT LIKE someone. That is what Ghandi & Jesus taught if you follow their teachings. They were LOVE, but did not like the ways of this evil world. Godspeed ❤️
Freud said: Dont forget to hate your parents. Hate as well as sorrow is the love you needed and didnt receive. Getting to the bottom of our emotional truth is important to our well being. All your emotions have the right to life. You are not betraying anyone by giving your emotions a safe place to be, even if its anger at your parents. You are angry because your design knows what it needed but didnt receive it. Now, its you that needs to be there for you. However they treated you is not how you yourself want to treat yourself. Treat your emotions like children.
I just strated tearing up when you said do it to give love to yourself who djnt receive love
0:00 Intro
(0:35 Disclaimer)
0:38 Realize It's Not Your Fault
1:22 Welcome Your Emotions
2:07 Recognize & Identify Your Emotions
2:43 Keep Track of How You Feel
3:41 Ways to Self-Soothe:
•(4:27 Step 1 - Make a List)
•(4:47 Step 2 - Emotion Charts & Identifying Your Emotions)
•(4:57 Step 3 - Try Out Different Strategies & Pay Attention To What Works & What Doesn't Work)
5:10 Outro
----------------------------------------
(Hope this helps ^^)
Thanks!
The narrators voice sounds so loving and kind. Thank u for making everything sound so caring. Xxxx
Its been 2 yrs, my mom always beat me and neglect me infront of my elder sis.. to feel her that she loves her more😢😢and also torcher me in front of her. And my elder sis enjoy that also support her.. I want to God ,plzz give her Karma back😊😊
WOW!!! This was hard, but powerful. Growing up, my parents told me that kids don't have feelings or emotions. There were times when I cried in school because I was teased or bullied, and I tried to hide the tears before I came home. But my mother could see that my eyes were red and said to me "I could see you were crying. Your eyes are red. Go to your room. You are punished. You are not suppose to cry."
Thank you. I literally started crying when u said to say out loud that it wasn't my fault...
I never knew I needed that so thank you love.
sending lots of love and hugs to your way
@@cherryuu24 thank youu soo muchh it means a lottt❤️. U went out of your way to reply to a stranger you're really a pure soul🥺
Hope you fight n always be victorious over any struggle that might come your way!🫂🥰
@@カンガナ awe you so wholesome T-T im having a rough weeks and this made my day less hard, i hope you know that you deserve all the love and care that come to your way, and i hope you know you are so so capable to win every war that you facing
@@cherryuu24 thank youu soo much loveeeee🫂🫂🫂
Sending lots of love your wayyyt💋💋❤️❤️
I have BPD as a result of my childhood trauma and I got sober at age 31 after hitting a brutal bottom. I didn’t want to get sober, I just didn’t have a choice anymore because the alternative was ending myself. I was NOT prepared for life without my coping mechanism (numbing out). 13 years later I’m still managing my trauma but I’ve come FAR. Have faith and just keep putting one foot in front of the other. 💕
1:09 ok, that hit me way too hard
Edit: The way her voice wavered bro….I’m legit sobbing
Me too😔
Bro. The sobbing thing is real.
I finished reading this book couple of weeks back, The book is a life saver and made me understand everything that was wrong in my life, and now I am seeing my fav channel talk about it !!!
When I was younger, we had an elementary school teacher who lived near us. Her daughter and I went to school together. The teacher told me years later something changed in me. I was a teenager at the time. I'm not sure what happened, but cptsd is a part of my life. Good luck to everyone.
Wacthing the video while crying abuot my chilhood.I was bullied all the time.I am turning 22 next month.trying to heal, and its so painfull.thank you for the help❤
Growing up from my childhood trauma, I learned from my mistakes. I feel relieved after boucning back from my dark past.
I love how you make videos every day about simple life problems
Thank you
Every one of us needs recovery regardless, it’s what’s needed to take us away from our parents thinking good/bad and creating our own. ❤
I go through moments every day where my heart all of a sudden hurts like the feeling you get after a break up, but whenever I feel it I always think about my childhood and all the traumatic scenes replay on my mind. It’s a physical pain I feel and it makes me cry 😭
Be gentle with yourself. It’s possible to heal 100%. Small steps. 🤗🤗
Made this at the perfect time as I’m learning what I went through was not the norm
My child hood trauma hasn’t stopped, Wish me luck guys,
It just takes some time. It gets better ❤
Mine hasn't either really.
@@robertpolnicky7702 I hope you can recover or Atleast have a better day,
sending lots of hugs and energy to you, do know that it is okay to feel any emotions nor thoughts, please be gentle with yourself and take it slow, i hope by time you able to heal from it, im proud of you for still being here
@@cherryuu24 Tysm I hope you have a good day!! 💖
I never imagined having childhood trauma until I started counseling and my counselor pointed it out to me. Turns out my VERY rough experience in middle school (nearly 15 years ago) has stuck with me all this time and made me into quite a recluse. I even have a hard time reaching out to good friends!
I don't remember any love growing up not much has changed since i sit alone most days in my own thoughts
I swear the voice changes every time like once it’s deep then it becomes a softer tone but it’s still relaxing to listen to every time
My strategy to deal with anger, sadness, happiness, guilt, rage etc etc etc? BOOZE. Never fails. ABSOLUTely love my friend SMIRNOFF
On the first part of the video I was already crying, because after the whole trauma I have experienced it sometimes makes me think I don't deserve to be treated kindly and its honestly impossible to believe that there is someone out there who actually loves and cares for me
I think i have least trauma than amyone cuz my parent taught me to love my self and selfcare, and teaching me how to deal with my emotions and how to use it. Im still learning tho. There's lots of trauma family trauma, parents trauma, child trauma,and more but always love yur self cuz yu gonna need your in the end. If yu wanna know how to love yur self yu need to workout or stretch, meditate, read spiritual books, journal, and talk to yur self and also eat healthy foods too. Im a 15 year boy saying this.
i love watching this channel while rotting away in my room
Timestamps
1). Realize it's your fault 0:37
2). Welcome your emotions 1:22
3). Recognize and identify your emotions 2:07
4). Keep track of how you feel 2:43
5). Find ways to self-soothe 3:40
6). Make a list 4:26
7). This is where emotions charts and identifying emotions come in handy 4:46
8). Try out different strategies and pay attention to what works and what doesn't work 4:57
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
It’s NOT your fault though
Some trauma can't be healed, or delt with. Some people suffer to the point where they become emotionless, they also will never trust someone ever again in their entire life. Some scars cannot be mendes.
I was diagnosed with CPTSD and Chronic Depression a few years ago from C.E.N. as well as one of the worst years of my life. I lost my best friend to Leukemia, my young cousin found a gun, was playing with it and... I also had to let go of the only person I have ever truly had feelings for. All within 6 months.
The hardest lesson to learn is "It's Not My Fault." Some days I still struggle with this.
between yesterday's "How to unf**k your life " and this one, let me just say "Thank You, Amanda."
@Ineedanap-ii2sm complex post traumatic stress disorder!
im so sorry to hear that, im really glad you still here and holding on, im proud of you
Writing truly worked for me.❤ Excercise is a great outlet, too. Take care, emotional abuse survivors. ❤❤❤❤❤❤
I have tried to understand how to feel my emotions, my therapist just says to do it and it isnt hard, but it is. I can cry, but i never feel sad at all. And that goes with many other things.
I get tired of not living a joyfull life, i got so much trauma going its not even funny, grest video.
I feel pain when I recive affection. I fought so hard not to become this damaged. I did not become an evil person or abandoned my child like my parents did, but at what cost. I literally feel pain like affection is not compatible to who I became. Undeserving, unconfortable, unstrustworthy, overall it makes me cry. And remember that the affection is not coming from the people I yearned for. I don't allow man near me, and when they go over my wall of ice, I ghost them or act annoying. I can't control it. I used to be pretty and young. I really lost it all trying to be loved by my parents.
The Pochita was a welcome addition to the channel.
The words IT'S NOT MY FAULT made me feel a weight lifting off my body
I played it over and over again...I even say it out loud...
But is still dont really believe myself
@@MisterJoeLuchaaw I love you and ik it’s hard to really believe but I believe in you 😊
@@christinaobregon4
Thnx...actually really neede that today..
Thank you for posting
I’ve been trying to heal my inner child and also over come my trauma from childhood :/
Being an autistic child and also being emotionally neglected has created intense challenges throughout my adulthood. I always felt so gaslit when my parents would say they loved me, then ignore me and tell at me while I was legitimately confused why they were upset. Has created a lot of self doubt and a "fawn" response that I still struggle with today, but I am improving very quickly now that I've been in therapy for over 2 years :)
I have the same issue wth. But I'm a teen and now I can't get anything done. Like, I can't decide anything for myself. My mom has always pushed down anything I came out with. I wanted to take art classes? "Sure, but...!" I wanted to do paddle classes, forced by my parents. "It's too expensive!"
Idk. I feel like they don't care about my health anymore. My family is already crumbling to pieces and my mother is a narcissist.
@@ZZZ_LocoWoman It's really hard when you feel like you don't have any agency in life, especially when you feel like you deserve more than what you are given. I remember seeing a counselor briefly as a teen, during the height of my struggles between my family. He said the most helpful thing anyone could possibly say to me after seeing my home life and how my parents treated me. He just said "You're right, this isn't fair, but you've made it this far and soon you'll be out of this situation". Simple, but true, because that was the first time someone else actually confirmed my feelings, and I could finally let my resentment and anger towards my family go, because I accepted my situation instead of trying to fight it. Obviously this advice won't help a lot of people because it feels very hand-wavy and a lot like "just don't feel bad!". It worked because someone else saw what it was like to be me, and came to the same conclusions I did.
When I was reading that book I felt like it was written about me. It's like "Where are the cameras in my home and my brain while I grew up"?? But be warned, for me the understanding of what happened to me made me take another look at everyone in my life, and it made me realize no one really cares about me, never had - not even me. It's been 3 years since that, I went to therapy and spent all that time learning everything I could about human psychology and how the world really works - and everything I learned since just made me want even less connection with other people. I'm sure some people were able to recover from their childhood, but for me it ruined my life. I kinda wish now that I never read it, as they say - "ignorance is bliss". So be warned - if you don't have someone close to you who can help you heal, it can cause more damage than help you.
I can relate to your comment. I'm sorry you went through what you did. In my own journey of self-realization/discovery I have stumbled upon the same issue-it seemed like I was happier when I was younger and ignorant of what was happening around me. While knowing the nature of the problem shines a light on previously unrecognized unsmiling truths, I believe that knowledge can also conversely help us heal better. You are correct you have to have the right support system around you to heal. It can be a sort of catch-22. By the time I realized what had actually happened in my childhood and formative years, I saw that in my young adulthood I had managed to surround myself with people who were similar to my neglectful parents, and I have had very little emotional support from those around me even when I do open up nowadays.
Thanks. I'm glad there's this channel to help promote well-being. The voice is soothing.
You’re my favorite narrator!!
Thank you so much for making this video, there are so many videos out there about trauma but i haven't come across to a video that clearly explains on how to overcome it. These steps were so clear and accessible so i finally feel like i actually understand what i can specifically do, so again, thank you so, so much ❤
I went through a lot in my childhood. Now i have to let go and its scary and exhausting always having to fight battles on my own the same way i did when i was younger. I never know when to seek solace from a friend or to deal with things on my own, and that makes me feel like a burden. I have so many distractions to forget about everything but now i just have to face the pain head on and im scared. VERY scared. I still live with my parents and i dont know whether to tell them or deal with it on my own. I really just wish i could wake up one morning and feel completely better, but life just doesnt work that way😭😭 i have someone that can help me get a hold of my parents but i dont know whether i should reach out to them or wether that will help. Complicated, i know😊😭
Thank you for this video! I have been in therapy since kindergarten bc of neglect from my parents. And i still struggle with feelings of it being my fault and how im unlovable.
The neglect has never gone away. So I'm not chasing something that neglects me
I didn't think what I just did was the first step. I was having another flashbacks of things from way back when I was younger and I couldn't help but feel like pouring it all out again and hope it goes away when I finish. But that wasn't really an effective solution. I was expressing myself through sobbing and ranting to my friends. Although this time , I decided not to. I did cry though. But I thought of writing stuff on my notes , like " Hey , it's not your fault. It was out of your control. "
And surprisingly , I felt lighter. I never imagined that I could cheer myself up , especially this way. I thought I'd be isolating myself again.
I realized , that I could choose to be nicer , and help myself heal without desperately needing someone.
im so proud of you kicchi, its not easy at all, and silly how i relate to this a lot, i do hope you know that you are worthy of love and hope, no matter what your emotions and thoughts nor struggles is
@@cherryuu24omg, I just saw this now after months. Thank you so much! I'm making progress on taking care of myself. I hope you're doing well! Take care and Merry Christmas !🎄🎄
I needed this
Thanks for joining us early! Hope this video can help you out!
My past 24 years have given me PTSD. I’m ready for this.
God bless everyone who is behind these videos, thank you so much Psych2go 🙏❤
Its going to take us more worked to feel okay. At least there are ways ❤ thank you for this knowledge
I watch your videos and I watched one about like “never say these things to your children” and every sentence you said for them to not say they say to me daily
My girlfriend had childhood neglect. She keeps blaming herself. It makes me sad
The hard part about the whole “love yourself “ bs is knowing that you can’t do that because you hate yourself
I was taught my life all to not hide my emotions but I did and sometimes I would just break out I never thought how to deal with them
I'll take a hug and give one in return
hugs to your way 🫂
I never knew how to process my emotions when i was younger and now i just fall apart when i remember childhood things😢
I literally cry in a sentence it's not your fault
I have trauma rn so i search how to get rid of my trauma and i saw this😢thank u very much
And I wanna buy this stuff toy HEHE
God Bless you all willing to jaunt with me on this journey of self-healing.
5:29 idk why but this line made me cry🥲
Thank you for this …. Great information! Much love and blessings to all! 🙏🙏🙏💚💚🧡🙏🙏🙏
Can u make a video about physical and medical neglect? And how it effects u in adulthood
I constantly feel as though doing this is self centered, like I'm only caring for myself.
i promise im sure you doing whats best for your inner child and you, not selfish at all to prioritize yourself especially to heal, sending hugs
Childhood trauma is nots fun
In combination with other stuff, the truama left me with a huge hole where my chdhood should be, aside from select negitive memories.
Ive kinda been learning how to adult with no instruction manual, but so far i think ive been doing well
im so proud of you!!
I struggle alot with childhood neglect and I'm still only a minor, but it's had such an impact on me it's getting to the point where I cant take it anymore and I feel empty. I mostly got all my behaviors because of my mom, and my dad can't do much which sucks. Thank you for making videos like these that can help me with starting my healing process 🩷🩷🩷
Pozdrac STelli Košić🎀🤝
I healed from childhood trauma by talking about it. I talked about it at church, that church accused me of demon possession because i was talking about my father like he was abusive. But i needed the accusations anyway.
i’ll definitely buy that book
Thank you psych2go team for all your influence!
Y’all are heroes
I really like the animation style. It’s soothing and motivating and lifts you up 👍🏻
I love this art style!!! ❤ I appreciate the hope and actionable steps this video provides 😢❤
There's moments I wish I could forget but I can't, I keep going back to when I was kidnapped, and to my dad attacking me. I keep thinking it's my fault this stuff happened but I know it isn't.