I remember when my husband sat me down and told me everything about his past life…I honestly wanted to end things but again I remembered that “he is not his past” and chilllld I’m so glad I didn’t end things
🤣🤣 Ay...I would definetly leave the husband with no penis. I think it's very weird to hide it. I would wonder why ufihla were you trapping me by us getting married? So was I getting the real you all along or ubuphoqwa isimo? Ay nah man it's not right nje.
I am celibate and pursuing purity. I had to pause the video and open up to God, I felt convicted at some point. I realized that there were certain parts of my past I tried to hide, because I was ashamed to speak to God about, not that He is not aware of them. God knows everything about us. But there's power in being vulnerable with God and confessing of who you have been. Thank you guys for this🙏 To those in relationships or married people there's a lot to take from this video, ❤️❤️❤️
Sis Buli thank you for this man ..Being a young Christine woman takes a lot from us,trying to be your self and still pursue Christ .. It's such a blessings having people like you who have walked the journey and can reflect on it and help us in the process
Hi Buli and Kev. Thank you so much for taking your time to make such an informative video. I am born again and I love Jesus. As you were speaking about transparency I am reminded of a time in my early days as a Christian when I thought there were certain sins that were "unpardonable" or sins that would make it difficult for God to love and accept me. Until I learnt about the depth of God's love for me and how his hands are wide open to receive me no matter what I have done. In Mark 2:17 Jesus said that he has come to call not those who think they are righteous but those who know that they are sinners. Ultimately, it is the Holy Spirit who empowers you with the confidence to be transparent with your partner about your past because you now live in the light. It's very true what you mentioned when you said that when we hide our past it has a way of catching up, especially in marriage because everything is under a microscope.I believe it's important to be truthful with someone that you are looking to build with. If you hide your truth or your past then your intent becomes questionable. If you're not ready to open yourself and be honest then it's time to have an honest conversation with yourself that you are not ready to surrender yourself in a relationship. Sometimes people are dishonest because of trauma - where people are afraid to disclose that they were sexually violated reason being they are still fighting the internal battle that they are not good enough or not worthy of love or even finding someone who's wiling to walk the journey of healing with them. So whether you've struggled with pornography, or you've been sexually abused, or have struggled with substance abuse. It's okay to be honest. Trust me when I say there's someone willing to walk the journey with you. Maybe 2 or 3 people will reject you and express that they cannot journey with you further - and it's okay. Someone who cannot understand your truth is not meant to be part of your walk. That too is okay.
I appreciate this topic so much. I always say I cannot sleep next to a person for the rest of my life that doesn't know my inner being, my soul entirely. Thank you guys, this is so essential.
16:00 I can relate,difference is I found out before marriage counselling but after we were engaged,I broke off the engagement coz I felt if I overlook it and go ahead and marry him,he’ll do It again,I believe a man who fails to be sexually disciplined whilst ure still dating is more likely to keep on failing even in marriage.,I just felt him sleeping with other people on the side meant he broke a vow we made to wait until marriage and also implied he didn’t have a clear understanding of why we were waiting in the first place,also the lies and deceit coz wen we met he claimed he was already celibate…I just felt I didn’t know the real him,but I know and fell for who he painted himself to be.
One of the best advice I ever received, was to disclose the details when the relationship gets serious. I can highlights that hey I have a colorful past, but the details refrain until you feel, this is a person I want to build with and they are trustworthy. Also, maybe certain topics are best shared with an older/wiser individual to help you navigate the reactions. Because you have to give the person the room to respond or react or say hayi this is too heavy for me.
I always tell ppl when serious about someone and it seats well with your soul, have uncomfortable conversations.. find out how they grew up, if there are any traumas how do I make your life easy for you to cope with things, Christians fail to be realistic in the dating phase and cry " dont get married it is hard" yes it hard if you dont know what you dealing with, I like what Kevin said you human first before anything... whether you non believer or not.. yazi.. thanks for educating people yazi this was much needed... I think part two Iya funeka or bjang family 🤣😂🤣😂👏👏👏👏
This is such a profound conversation 🥺🙏 So True that even if you are single and feel like you have dealt with certain things in your personal life but when one enters a relationship one will get triggered and now your partner won't know how to deal with you because you never said your truth at all. And what is amazing about telling your truth is you giving the next person a choice if they will stay and build this relationship or they just won't be able too.
MTKBW ,please let us not trap one another ! . Buli is absolutely spot on ,allow me my freedom of choice .I also find it to be rather low self-esteemy and insecure .Trust that you have the capacity to be accepted as you are ,believe for yourself that you are deserving of someone who will accept you for who you are (& what you come with),wholly! Beautifully dissected sis, with Baba ka Osi,its always a party!! .Truly appreciate your company and influence ,much l.o.v.e :)
Yaz I have a problem of not wanting to open up to anyone except my sister, because I feel like I don't trust anybody with my stuff like that and this had an impact on one of the relationships I had. But I'm trying, I'm learning and hopefully I'll do so to the right person. Thank you! ❤️
Its good to say your deal breakers in the beginning. This is because that one thing you do can make you lose interest as well as affect your attraction to your partner. Worse your could lose your respect and then the family unit is in danger. You don't necessarily need to tell that to every one you date, but if this is someone you are willing to marry its best to lay out all your cards on the table. It really does help to keep the relationship honest and know how to resolve any issues that arise.
My husband disclosed everything about himself on our first date, that's what made fall madly in love with him, within a month of us dating, he popped the question and here we are.
Story of my life. The disclosing was uncomfortable but it gives yall freedom knowing that nothing from the past will crawl in to your present or future
A great video to watch because I for one, don't even like the concept of dating. As a believer anyway. I just feel like a man is prepared to be a husband, with a ready assignment/vision and a wife is formed and then revealed to him when he is ready. Simply because I have a major reliance on God to tell me if I am marrying the person he has called me to marry and with whom I can fulfill Kingdom purpose with. I'm hearing you guys about where is the line (of when to leave a person if they hid something important from you), but if God TOLD you that this person is suitable for you, chosen for you and you accept that choice from God, does that warrant you to leave? I do however agree that things need to be discussed, very deep things before marriage happens. So that if there is an issue then the marriage can be delayed for a while until those things are resolved. But not with the goal of leaving the person, especially if God has confirmed that relationship to be of Him.
Transparency is key hey. Allow me to make the decision of staying or leaving the relationship or allow me to decide to enter or not enter a relationship. My husband was so open it scared the heck out of me, but it allowed me to go back to God and pray and ask Him if truly this is my next step. All this was happening while I was fasting and praying for God to block my emotions because I was too tired of dating. God had confirmed to me that my now husband was the one. So the vulnerability just shook me, and it in away made me fall so much more in love with him.
The grace of God. Moses was a murderer but God changed him and was used by God in a mighty way. Same for someone will a 32 page body count. If they have changed, lets leave the past in the past.
The kind of content I didn't think I needed to hear. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us and reminding us that uncomfortable conversations are important for building healthy relationships. Thank you once again for reminding us of our Christian obligation. Christianity or whatever religion one subscribes to is way of life and not something one wears only when it's convenient. Very powerful sermon🤗
So true, you tell someone your past and they bring it back when you have an argument with them, I left someone because of that, clearly there was going to get worse when time goes. When people tell you something don’t use against them.
Honestly this was very insightful. Especially the part of battle you can face that steam from our parents and being able to open up to your partner. Just wow. God bless you both 🙏🏾
@@BuliMakhubo let’s talk young wifering and having to deal with cultural differences,managing work and being present in marriage. Cz wow I battled with all this as a young wife but A lot have changed with time.
This was interesting... You have a point about the parents thing. How one's parent used to struggle with something and years later you find yourself falling into the same trap.
I think the reason it's so hard for people to speak their truth yes the person you disclosing to yes they will judge and won't be open enough to hear you out properly because they have already created their idea of you now you coming to the table and telling them that hey i made this certain decisions before i was here so that person can't reason at all with that, they just dismiss you immediately because they judge your past decision.
I’m an advocate for revealing true self, dirty past, family, friends and more especially finances. It still shocks me to date that people still consider COP marriage as a sign of love while it’s simply a type of contract. Both may be beneficial and risky, but you have to know the past and how it affects you. Great topic guys, Sorry for digressing a bit
I love couple content. Thank you for sharing these with us. Inspirational and very informative. I relate with your couple's personality. Buli girrrl! You stay slaying, ngik'thanda thandi from Botswana 🇧🇼
Amazing content ❤️.. loved the conversation …I wish these are the things the christian youth would ask and seek wisdom about vs “my boaz” 😂 no shade 🙊🙈
Super late 😖 Thoroughly enjoyed this. But moreso the last bit. As Christians we want to "perfect ourselves" or "make ourselves righteous" by not being honest about who we are and our faults. We need to become an authentic church. Thank you for letting us in on good ways to establish solid relationships as both a sharer and receiver of shared things. #YassMakhubos
I remember when my husband sat me down and told me everything about his past life…I honestly wanted to end things but again I remembered that “he is not his past” and chilllld I’m so glad I didn’t end things
we love the background!!!
I actually started watching because you posted this on your insta-stories❤❤❤
@@omolemomokate9843 Same! And I don’t regret it at all 🤞🏽
Where can I watch the story of a husband with no penis
Yep agreed we love the background
🤣🤣 Ay...I would definetly leave the husband with no penis. I think it's very weird to hide it. I would wonder why ufihla were you trapping me by us getting married? So was I getting the real you all along or ubuphoqwa isimo? Ay nah man it's not right nje.
I am celibate and pursuing purity. I had to pause the video and open up to God, I felt convicted at some point. I realized that there were certain parts of my past I tried to hide, because I was ashamed to speak to God about, not that He is not aware of them. God knows everything about us. But there's power in being vulnerable with God and confessing of who you have been. Thank you guys for this🙏
To those in relationships or married people there's a lot to take from this video, ❤️❤️❤️
"If I can understand your thinking, I can understand your actions " loved this ❣
Sis Buli thank you for this man ..Being a young Christine woman takes a lot from us,trying to be your self and still pursue Christ .. It's such a blessings having people like you who have walked the journey and can reflect on it and help us in the process
Hi Buli and Kev. Thank you so much for taking your time to make such an informative video. I am born again and I love Jesus. As you were speaking about transparency I am reminded of a time in my early days as a Christian when I thought there were certain sins that were "unpardonable" or sins that would make it difficult for God to love and accept me. Until I learnt about the depth of God's love for me and how his hands are wide open to receive me no matter what I have done. In Mark 2:17 Jesus said that he has come to call not those who think they are righteous but those who know that they are sinners. Ultimately, it is the Holy Spirit who empowers you with the confidence to be transparent with your partner about your past because you now live in the light. It's very true what you mentioned when you said that when we hide our past it has a way of catching up, especially in marriage because everything is under a microscope.I believe it's important to be truthful with someone that you are looking to build with. If you hide your truth or your past then your intent becomes questionable. If you're not ready to open yourself and be honest then it's time to have an honest conversation with yourself that you are not ready to surrender yourself in a relationship. Sometimes people are dishonest because of trauma - where people are afraid to disclose that they were sexually violated reason being they are still fighting the internal battle that they are not good enough or not worthy of love or even finding someone who's wiling to walk the journey of healing with them. So whether you've struggled with pornography, or you've been sexually abused, or have struggled with substance abuse. It's okay to be honest. Trust me when I say there's someone willing to walk the journey with you. Maybe 2 or 3 people will reject you and express that they cannot journey with you further - and it's okay. Someone who cannot understand your truth is not meant to be part of your walk. That too is okay.
Kevin😆😆😆your honesty deserves a Masters degree 👏 🙌 👌
I appreciate this topic so much. I always say I cannot sleep next to a person for the rest of my life that doesn't know my inner being, my soul entirely. Thank you guys, this is so essential.
It's the "I'm a sexy person for me" ya'll need to post ths kind of videos more often ❤️❤️
16:00 I can relate,difference is I found out before marriage counselling but after we were engaged,I broke off the engagement coz I felt if I overlook it and go ahead and marry him,he’ll do It again,I believe a man who fails to be sexually disciplined whilst ure still dating is more likely to keep on failing even in marriage.,I just felt him sleeping with other people on the side meant he broke a vow we made to wait until marriage and also implied he didn’t have a clear understanding of why we were waiting in the first place,also the lies and deceit coz wen we met he claimed he was already celibate…I just felt I didn’t know the real him,but I know and fell for who he painted himself to be.
Transparency is key shame, especially when you’re in a committed relationship
One of the best advice I ever received, was to disclose the details when the relationship gets serious. I can highlights that hey I have a colorful past, but the details refrain until you feel, this is a person I want to build with and they are trustworthy. Also, maybe certain topics are best shared with an older/wiser individual to help you navigate the reactions. Because you have to give the person the room to respond or react or say hayi this is too heavy for me.
I always tell ppl when serious about someone and it seats well with your soul, have uncomfortable conversations.. find out how they grew up, if there are any traumas how do I make your life easy for you to cope with things, Christians fail to be realistic in the dating phase and cry " dont get married it is hard" yes it hard if you dont know what you dealing with, I like what Kevin said you human first before anything... whether you non believer or not.. yazi.. thanks for educating people yazi this was much needed... I think part two Iya funeka or bjang family 🤣😂🤣😂👏👏👏👏
"i'm a sexy person" no lies detected here sis lol
🤣🤣
“But I’m a sexy person!!!” 👌🏾👌🏾👌🏾👌🏾
I believe honesty and transparency are key at the very beginning so that a person can decide whether or not they wanna stay and build or leave.
This is such a profound conversation 🥺🙏 So True that even if you are single and feel like you have dealt with certain things in your personal life but when one enters a relationship one will get triggered and now your partner won't know how to deal with you because you never said your truth at all. And what is amazing about telling your truth is you giving the next person a choice if they will stay and build this relationship or they just won't be able too.
Transparency is absolutely important!!!!
Transparency is very important.
I enjoyed this conversation 👏🏽
True dating should be a foundation phase 🙌🏾
You guys are my Fav❤️
Yasss we love the background 😊
Powerful video much needed in the black community 🙏thank you for your transparency keep them coming.
So true💯🙌🏾
MTKBW ,please let us not trap one another ! . Buli is absolutely spot on ,allow me my freedom of choice .I also find it to be rather low self-esteemy and insecure .Trust that you have the capacity to be accepted as you are ,believe for yourself that you are deserving of someone who will accept you for who you are (& what you come with),wholly! Beautifully dissected sis, with Baba ka Osi,its always a party!! .Truly appreciate your company and influence ,much l.o.v.e :)
Yaz I have a problem of not wanting to open up to anyone except my sister, because I feel like I don't trust anybody with my stuff like that and this had an impact on one of the relationships I had. But I'm trying, I'm learning and hopefully I'll do so to the right person. Thank you! ❤️
Glow ya Ntate Makhubo thou👏🏽. .
Honestly can't believe I've been watching lana without subscribing!! How dare I😱😱? I subscribed immediately though🥳🥳🥳💃🏾💃🏾
It's Kev saying "Maybe she is new to the Christian community" for me😂 😂 😂
This killed me lol!
Its good to say your deal breakers in the beginning. This is because that one thing you do can make you lose interest as well as affect your attraction to your partner. Worse your could lose your respect and then the family unit is in danger. You don't necessarily need to tell that to every one you date, but if this is someone you are willing to marry its best to lay out all your cards on the table. It really does help to keep the relationship honest and know how to resolve any issues that arise.
My husband disclosed everything about himself on our first date, that's what made fall madly in love with him, within a month of us dating, he popped the question and here we are.
Within a month wow.. izinja ze game ke
Story of my life. The disclosing was uncomfortable but it gives yall freedom knowing that nothing from the past will crawl in to your present or future
A great video to watch because I for one, don't even like the concept of dating. As a believer anyway. I just feel like a man is prepared to be a husband, with a ready assignment/vision and a wife is formed and then revealed to him when he is ready. Simply because I have a major reliance on God to tell me if I am marrying the person he has called me to marry and with whom I can fulfill Kingdom purpose with.
I'm hearing you guys about where is the line (of when to leave a person if they hid something important from you), but if God TOLD you that this person is suitable for you, chosen for you and you accept that choice from God, does that warrant you to leave?
I do however agree that things need to be discussed, very deep things before marriage happens. So that if there is an issue then the marriage can be delayed for a while until those things are resolved. But not with the goal of leaving the person, especially if God has confirmed that relationship to be of Him.
Transparency is key hey. Allow me to make the decision of staying or leaving the relationship or allow me to decide to enter or not enter a relationship.
My husband was so open it scared the heck out of me, but it allowed me to go back to God and pray and ask Him if truly this is my next step.
All this was happening while I was fasting and praying for God to block my emotions because I was too tired of dating.
God had confirmed to me that my now husband was the one. So the vulnerability just shook me, and it in away made me fall so much more in love with him.
Yoh there is so much revelation in this segment! Thank you guys! There is so much to take from this! I’ll definitely watch this over and over again.
The grace of God. Moses was a murderer but God changed him and was used by God in a mighty way. Same for someone will a 32 page body count. If they have changed, lets leave the past in the past.
Interesting take ! Thanks for sharing your thoughts
I want the boldness buli has yoh. It would make my relationship way smooth how does one become so bold as a female
The kind of content I didn't think I needed to hear. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us and reminding us that uncomfortable conversations are important for building healthy relationships. Thank you once again for reminding us of our Christian obligation. Christianity or whatever religion one subscribes to is way of life and not something one wears only when it's convenient. Very powerful sermon🤗
So true, you tell someone your past and they bring it back when you have an argument with them, I left someone because of that, clearly there was going to get worse when time goes.
When people tell you something don’t use against them.
Honestly this was very insightful. Especially the part of battle you can face that steam from our parents and being able to open up to your partner. Just wow. God bless you both 🙏🏾
Love this guys ❤ it's so important to be vulnerable with each other in a relationship. Love the wisdom shared 🙏🏽
The background and the matching is fineee. The lighting also on point
Thank you...much appreciated 😊
It's Buli trapping Kev into matching for me 😂❤️😂... I would also just leave him and tell him when it's late! 🤣
This video was beyond powerful and fruitful 💯🙌🏾❤️ real talk
Get 1 of your friend like Nthabiseng for wife talk cause Mpoomy en Lebo have been there 😊! I enjoyed this though👌😊
as soon as I find a great topic to have a chat with her about 😊
@@BuliMakhubo let’s talk young wifering and having to deal with cultural differences,managing work and being present in marriage.
Cz wow I battled with all this as a young wife but A lot have changed with time.
Yhooo I wish sexiness came naturally to me🤣, I'm such a goofball! Buli, teach us your ways!!🔥🔥✋
😂😂 I must make a video ! Lol
😂😂I can relate so bad!!!!
@@mphojeanettemabusane8780 🤣🤣✋
@@BuliMakhubo 😂 Please??!🙏🙏
Love it BULI & KEV!!!!. Real talk. 'be transparent with the one you want to build with ...'
It is important to be vulnerable to each other
Yoh absolutely loved this episode. The revelation, quirkiness and honesty ❤
One thing about men, they have standards
And they stick to them🤧
@@mookgomofokeng5190 And there’s no too ways about it
When Kev said both😂😂... Immediately said both because I believe intimacy is a very important component of a marriage.
Lol lol
This was interesting... You have a point about the parents thing. How one's parent used to struggle with something and years later you find yourself falling into the same trap.
I think the reason it's so hard for people to speak their truth yes the person you disclosing to yes they will judge and won't be open enough to hear you out properly because they have already created their idea of you now you coming to the table and telling them that hey i made this certain decisions before i was here so that person can't reason at all with that, they just dismiss you immediately because they judge your past decision.
"Mangiwa la ning'donse" - Kev 😂😂
“If things are not tsukurukuru” Buli is hilarious 😂😂
Loved every minute of this video, very informative❤️✨
Very profound topic.More of these please Buli and hubby.❤
Very profound discussion. Thank you ❤️
Yoh. This conversation. My father's battles. Things you saw growing up. Jeeer.
The background and the Aesthetics 👌🏽
Keep sharing the wisdom
Wow this was very helpful. Good talk
This conversation is so important. Informative & constructive. I love this topic. Thank you Buli for the upload ❤️
I love how genuine she is💓
i can just sit here and watch this two the whole day and not get bored...we blessed to be able to watch you and be equipped...i appreciate you guys.
I’m an advocate for revealing true self, dirty past, family, friends and more especially finances. It still shocks me to date that people still consider COP marriage as a sign of love while it’s simply a type of contract. Both may be beneficial and risky, but you have to know the past and how it affects you. Great topic guys, Sorry for digressing a bit
This video really just inspired and encouraged me to do so much better 🥺 thank you for sharing all this wisdom!! Love you Makhs ❤️
I love couple content. Thank you for sharing these with us. Inspirational and very informative. I relate with your couple's personality. Buli girrrl! You stay slaying, ngik'thanda thandi from Botswana 🇧🇼
Interesting topic! Love it
Depths & truths👌☄
Love the set-up. Love the conversation ❤️
Thank you !
You guys look great together. Love is beautiful.
Love the background 😍.
Wow I've learned so much thank you for this video much appreciated 🙏.
Amazing content ❤️.. loved the conversation …I wish these are the things the christian youth would ask and seek wisdom about vs “my boaz” 😂 no shade 🙊🙈
Love the back ground looks professional and super cool
I think I get which series is that. It made me rewatch the video you did about waiting🥺The essence of waiting got clearer
Your videos are always relevant and impactful. I learn everytime.You are doing great,love the background and seeing Esi's rents match❤♥️
LOL Buli I know the show - Yho she was selfish that one! Hai
Wow...wow....wow definitely a conversation starter. Thank you so much guys 🌸
Super late 😖 Thoroughly enjoyed this. But moreso the last bit.
As Christians we want to "perfect ourselves" or "make ourselves righteous" by not being honest about who we are and our faults. We need to become an authentic church.
Thank you for letting us in on good ways to establish solid relationships as both a sharer and receiver of shared things.
#YassMakhubos
We love the subtle background.. Keep it mommy
I have watched that series, I didn't get too , but anyway you both look great 👍 you enjoy mummy hood
Such an important conversation, really enjoyed it! ❤️
Thank you for watching my friend ❤️
You two have such good humor! 😄 May God continue to bless your marriage
I heard everything nhe but haiii Buli is beautiful hleng!! 💕
Thanks you Mrs M and Kevin
That was something I needed to hear ... 🤗😊❣️..Keep on been a blessing ..
I love the outfits...background amazing...dishonest doesnt build period but again the truth needs a strong person to handle even the consequences
Great conversation really enjoyed it, please Buli show us your makeup 💄routine & get ready with us. I really like how you do your makeup...
Please mention the series though 😭🙏🏾💕
Absolutely love the background and how your matching outfits match the background so well🥰🥰🥰
New setup ✅ yaaaas !!!
lol im here for Kev! bathong
Lol ungovernable 🙆🏾🙆🏾
Calvin🤣🤣🤣🤣🙄
Good content, love, love this
Bathong, how do I like this video a thousand times?❤❤❤
Lol ❤️
I love the makeup
I thoroughly enjoyed this video. I'm going to try to get my partner to watch this because mans haaates opening up
😂 😂 The matching outfits are a battle even in my relationship...
This was definitely a teaching! God bless you guys!
Yoh.. There is so much in this video. Thank you guys 👌👌
Thank you for watching
Loved everything ! This is profound. Sis Buli umuhle shem ❤️❤️❤️🥰
You're coming through with the content! 🔥
I love the background and thank you for this beautiful candid conversation.
Bab Esi & Mam Esi looking TOOOOOOOOOOO BEAUTIFUL
This is interesting topic 🤔👏
I somehow knew you were talking about Sex/Life even before you gave background of the series
Me