The First Time I Tried Meth
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- Опубліковано 24 чер 2019
- Possibly the worst thing I have ever done to myself in a moment of impulsivity and abandonment? The first time I tried Meth! What's your most regretted impulse? Let me know in the comments.
I watch this video maybe 3-4 times a year to remind myself that making bad choices doesn’t make you a bad person, thank you for speaking candidly about your experiences
@@iamsaint2745be so serious, making bad choices does not make you a horrible person, and pushing the rhetoric that it does, in fact makes you far worse than you strive not to be.
Making bad choices does make you bad that's what bad is. You know you shouldn't but do what ever for selfish personal reasons. The way to change is to stop making the bad choices because you know right from wrong it's born into us.
The courage to try something that could be life altering (negative way) is brave. You are beautiful the way you are. Don’t ever change or let your emotions get in the way. Stay strong. 😊
Making bad choices could be or akin to being an evil doer, i dont think it makes you terrible, the consequences makes you suffer, i remember 1st time trying meth we were doing crank, which if done just enough can really hurt you, it is strange that it is an exact amount, i remember saying "why would anybody do this", i was happy with the crank at the time, later much i found that meth was like stripped crank sorta, now its like stripped meth, because i made a test if you can keep drinking with it its not real basicly, it takes very little if its real.
No it doesn't
But it makes u a dump person
A lot of people get introduced to methamphetamine the same way that you did meeting random people either online to hook up with or say at a bar. It's extra grimy because it reinforces itself through deception. It makes that 2nd life you're trying to hide from everyone that much more alluring and enticing.
I started using meth in 2000 and went to treatment for the 1st time in 2010 and I have 34 months sober.
Thanks for your story brother God-bless
I tried meth 3 times smoking
I have autism/adhd
Meth helped me with the social anxiety obsessive behavior and also great feeling
I did it with good friend of mine
@@jyay4397 so did you get any withdrawals with trying only 3 times?? Could you explain a bit more about the withdrawals upto a month... Thanks for sharing 🙏🏻
I shot meth for 10 yrs. It was crazy!!!! I'm sober 4.5yrs now♡
Congratulations!!.. im soo happy for you, it must of been so hard.. buddy at work just gave me some the size of a rice grain... do you think a person could get addicted from a small amount?..
Yes, you get addicted from any amount.. Just after 1 hit you’ll not be able to imagine to not feel the effect anymore in your life..
@@matejkralik3185 Really??!!!.. Well il glad i flushed that sample down the drain.....
Shout out to u.same here
@@miszdynie don't need that in your life...
Yoo he said I smoked weed before.... like no bro that aint nuthin on this shit. 😂😂😂
Hahaaa
Hahaha I love weed but fuck meth is like interstellar.
Honestly weed is better anyway
I legitimately just stopped I have no idea how I did that but thank God
Same with me got 2 years clean now
Same here, I just got tired of it and stopped and havent done it since. Been clean 3 years now
Good. Very good. I’m happy for you
@@lizziedavis5150 exactly... Same with coke lol I just stopped
Blessing indeed! I wish you well!
I was diagnosed BPD 20 years ago and went through many, many therapists. My last therapist recommended I read The Road Less Traveled and that book completely changed my life and I cured me from my illness.
I believe you’ve saved some lives by posting this video. Well done, and thank you ❤️
First off... you have the most amazing beautiful eyes, secondly an awesome smile. It’s very inspiring to hear the truth told about ones experiences, WITHOUT shame, ITV was what it was. With borderline personality, are we very accepting of people, people that have a hidden agenda? Did alcohol really throw your logic out the window? I’ve always accepted people for who they said they were, and never could comprehend why a person would want to lie otherwise. I’m also one of those people that took me a few years, in my early 50’s to comprehend that there are people that will use other people to get what they want, regardless of the pain it will bring into me. That was one of the hardest lessons in my life. Using people and having no respect for other people’s lives. I also had issues with sex, anxiety, etc.. but I so badly wanted to feel loved... hence routine visits to the bath houses...to find intimacy without judgement.
Thank you so much for sharing. Times like now are very personal and healing in the gay community today. In the 80’s during AIDS, etc. so much harsh judgment and hate to the gay community. Now we have open dialogue and support among other guys without the shame. Thank you again!! 🤗
Thank you for sharing Leo, my daughter is only 17 and is struggling with this addiction. So hearing and understanding is helpful. I believe she suffers from borderline personality disorder and depression. So I think that's why she loves it so much.
how is she doing now?
i relate to you a lot. i went through a bad break in a relationship in which my impulsivity led me to almost fatally harm myself. thankfully i snapped out of it and got help right away, i was diagnosed in the ER based on my medical records and examinations. i did molly recently and though the effects of the high were different i got the same feelings of weight being lifted i wasn’t anxious i wasn’t repressing my emotions and i did it for three days in a row. i had heard its really bad for your brain, people get Serotonin Syndrome but i didnt think about that extensively. i just kept telling myself “i probably have to use a lot for a long time”, “it only happens to a few people” .. we hear you. we feel you
it felt like anxiety disappeared and like it was never there in my life to begin with. i felt like a brand new person, the best version of me that i could ever be. it felt like all the walls were broken down and i could connect with everything in a way that only a god could do, all the while being completley lucid and calm. it was nuts.
Thank you for being so open about this because I know the level of stigma is so intense.
"extreme meditation is a weird alternative to meth." - anonymous
meditating on meth is pretty awesome
Facts. But it helps
I did meth over the course of 3 months in Lompoc California. Last year going into January of this year. I did it cause my girlfriend wanted to do it with me. I was adamant about the dangers of it but she didn’t care. Ended up doing it a total of maybe 12 times (usually for 3 days at a time) She wanted to keep doing it, but I was like fuck no. And that made her very sad. Anywho, most of my personal experiences with it were good, except the feeling of razor blades coming out of my skin with my sweat when coming down. Not fun. But she had horrible negative reactions when coming down.
Anyway, I finally got out of that place, and never want to do meth again. However, sometimes I do randomly get a craving for it out of nowhere. But it’s not hard to let it go. Wasn’t hard for me to stop, at all, and I never experienced the feelings of addiction. Thank god.
Im the same way, I never get addicted to anything i done Crystal Meth, Opioid and some other drugs done it 3 times, yes it feels good and all that but won't do it again, I just don't feel like doing it and it's just going to fuck me up. I don't want to ruin my life for that stupid shit, that's my mentality and im happy that way.
its weird ive been doing meth for a few years now (not proud of it but it is what it is) and not only could i not care less if i cant get more and have to wait till payda but ive never had any of those feeling like the razor blade sweat. ill get light headed sometimes cause ill forget to eat all day though
Did your girlfriend ever stop?
I hope you got rid of the girlfriend...she sounds like bad news...
Started at 35 (had NEVER touched ANY hard drugs before that). I pretty much just wanted to be able to connect to this nightmare I was dating. She introduced me to it and I hate her for it, even tho I recognize I made the choice and I was an adult. She didn’t give a single f*ck what people thought and that appealed to me, since I had always been painfully shy and depressed. It gave me confidence at a level I never even came close to before that. As far as how I stopped… I haven’t stopped technically 100% (relapses, even if rare, are pretty standard once you’ve tried it). My last clean stretch was a year and four months and then I went and f*cked it all up and threw my sobriety right out the proverbial window. I can’t say “the reason I stopped” but I can say why I go as long as possible without using, as well as not surrounding myself with those in active addiction. And that reason is because I’m terrified of getting old and meth, as we all know, speeds that shit right along.
Great video, thanks for sharing. I’m glad you never want to use again. Good on you!
My first experience was quite random - I was travelling, on grindr in San Francisco and a guy I met up with smoked it. I'd vibed with him. I was 23, and I'd only even smoked weed for the first time a week before, and honestly I've always just been curious about different drugs, so I took a hit. That experience was exactly as you described. Anxiety totally disappeared, depression too. I felt "whole" in a way I had never done before. That experience was the first time I took seriously the idea I might have ADHD in fact, since I was experiencing a level of focus which I had clearly never had before, and in fact challenged the idea that I ever typically had focus.
I found your channel since wanting to learn more about BPD, and I'm also not sure if I have that but I am finding some relateability with others' experiences, symptoms and the causes of it. Thanks for filming this video. To answer your question, how do I stop myself doing it again? Well, I have done it a few times since then. The comedown (especially that first) was so bad that keeps me from following the impulse, since my system is fragile at the best of times and it just doesn't feel healthy, and I am in general afraid of damaging my body. But it takes a little effort too. I have still not found lasting help with my depression, anxiety and lack of focus, and stimulants are always a tempting short term fix.
Fix your life. Watch some Hamz or Tate.
God bless you chid of God.
Great vid I could relate in so many ways 🦦🐻🌈 have been sober with my bear an things have been a lot better.. he and myself have some relative health/mental health issues as well..finally being able to quit helped us so much , great to hear your experience
I fell into the dark rabbit hole of meth. I was a parTy guy. I tried so hard to stop but i kept craving it. I was screaming for help but I was scared how my family would react to me doing that stuff and being thrown to rehab. I was scared and always cried alone scared to talk to anyone about it.
As of 2023, I am Sober, while the cravings stopped at least until this July
I was going through grief from a loss + recently being diagnosed with BPD, and hearing how it explained so much about me. I used to battle a lot of cravings and it was a nightmare. Now I just … don't feel anything for that stuff anymore and I can finally fucking breathe.
My experience was similar in that I used Grindr while drinking, met up with an old crush. In all our texting, he said over and over that they were using drugs.
I was drunk so the words just went right over me, I just wanted to see him and not be lonely. I smoked meth and was incredibly intoxicated on alcohol 4 days ago.
I had to go to the ER because when I started to come down from everything, it was the worst anxiety of my life.
I never, ever want to go through this again. I never in a million years thought I would come across this drug, much less take it.
Thank you for sharing this! My son was recently diagnosed with BPD and he tried meth because his girlfriend loved it. They were the most toxic couple I have ever seen. It ended in him stealing from his gdad $8k in gold coins them going out and spending the majority of that money in 3 days they got in a fight while high and having meth on him he called the cops! They were both arrested and now he is in a recovery home after I told him sorry but you can’t live here and took him to a homeless shelter. Was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I’m HOPEFUL but still very worried he will relapse because like you said the stats are terrible!
As a fellow who works in a low barrier homeless shelter, wow. Great video friend. Very well done
Thank you!
This is helping so many people... Your story is soooo similar to my own it's crazy. I have Bipolar 1 and PTSD. I posted a video explaining my first experience with mania and all that shit. This is awesome 😎 hope you're doing well man 🤟🏾🤟🏾💜
can I ask you what gave you PTSD ? What kind of shit happened to you?
Omg dude I just love you! I wish I knew you in real life you seen so cool I loved this video when you told the story I felt like I was right there with ya thanks
so relatable!!!! i'm so proud of you that you chose to never look back and just pulled yourself together and walked away... it will always be question to me why people do meth again after having those bad bad comedowns. and it will happen again after sleepless nights when you eat no food and drink no water and can't sleep. i did meth without knowing that i was actually doing meth. i was wasted that night and in london from very small village in europe where thing as meth doesn't exist. i didn't know such a thing. just like you i never used to have much sex and looked to myself more artsist sexual object but i have to admit that chemsex changed forever. i'm walking to my therapy now and trying to discuss things with myself.. tina has never made me truly happy but damaged me a lot. and still i have those cravings for that high sex etc.. probably it's most importantly to understand that mental health is more important than fake sex. love you.
Thank you for making this video. I have used on and off for 15 years. Currently off and this video helps.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience.
Thanks so much for this story. I had a similar situation - never did ANY drugs at all, met someone, brought him back to my apartment and he had meth. He brought meth which i was not aware of and asked me to try and i said what the heck. I regret it so much. and will never touch it again and especially will NEVER allow it in my home again. Here is my question - he had smoked in my bathroom and in the bedroom. Now i am finding trace elements of it all over the place. I have a small 1-bedroom in NYC so it got in the kitchen, living room, bathroom, etc... Again, i so regret it but now i need to figure out how to clean everything. It's this film that got on stuff - any suggestions on how to clean this off the walls, appliances, leather couch, etc...?
Listened to this story several times. Compelling story man. You are awesome
You are so brave and helpful by telling us that you suffer from BPD. I
have it also. Normal people have ups and downs. My ups and downs seem so dramatic. Thank you for your candor. All the best.
I’m doing an essay on drug addiction and it’s so interesting
It's interesting how many people after prescription drugs go to meth
@@joshuacalebbevington Prescription Amphetamines lead to meth if you chase the speed high. All roads lead to Desoxyn
My experience was the same as yours actually. And it was the absolute hardest thing I have ever stopped doing.
I was on meth for 6 years. I got on it because a girl I was seeing wanted to try it. Like you, I loved it. The way I quit was I literally had to move to another state and completely cut off all of my meth friends. It sucked but it was that or a coffin. That's great that you were able to quit. Keep your head up.
thank you for this educational information, its good to speak of it to raise awareness to prevent not knowing being the reason why you do a very bad drug. its easy to reason that if someone else does something to do the same.
Oh, and the biggest problem for me, personally, is I have completely lost my “lust for life” because of this shitty substance. I haven’t been able to experience any pleasure, joy, or motivation since I started in 2015 (without being drugged up). Even after only having used over the course of a year (off and on), and then a few relapses (or choices I should say, I STILL suffer from anhedonia and swear I feel like it’s never gonna end. PLEASE READ MY COMMENT, especially those of you who have never tried it. I hope this helps someone out there.
I’m in the same place completely lost all of me and I don’t know what to do, I used to be the man
how's it going now? Seriously I want to know.
what are you doing with what is left?
Same here but for me was ecstasy,opiates,mephedrone ketamine ecc......but this month I tried meth and when I smoke I remember how I felt in my teens J wanna live and my mind is in focus
Your not alone at all. More people should get together and share their experiences. I bet there would be a ton of similar stories out there.
Facts
Great video, I’m so glad you’re safe. 🙏❤️
Wow, i tried meth for the first/last time a month ago, I have BPD and this is such an honest video, i relate to so much. Thanks for Sharing.
Liz Johnson why tf did u do meth🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️
@@ibrahim-my5yl Let's not judge Liz. We have no idea what people go through. I just hope she's sober now.
I am currently about 16 hours deep my first time ever 1 g almost all at once and ...... fuck... i am appalled 2 smacker pills 4 beers and a blunt on top an im in for a long next couple days 🤦♂️🤦♂️
Does it feel good?
@@shadowbreaker6027 👍👍
I dated a girl with borderline. She acted at times like she was on drugs like meth or something. I never caught her using drugs and she was always extremely anti drug. I really think it actually was just her disorder which caused her to act so erratically, violently, screaming, cursing, hallucinating. Her teeth at some point looked like they we’re starting to rot and that made me wonder if she could have been using. Three molars were black with holes and the rest of her teeth had turned a weird discolored yellow white color. They never looked like that before. She only had one cavity before that. I just never could believe someone as anti drug as her would or could ever use meth. I had a drug addiction ten years ago and she would always tell me if I used any drug at all even weed that she’d leave me in an instant. The more the relationship progressed the less she trusted me. She at one point when we lived together she was always paranoid that I was using drugs. She’d go through all my things looking for drugs. She once found needle heads used for popping pimples and stuff and was convinced I was injecting drugs. Even though there were no syringes. I was like babe you need a syringe to inject a drug not just a needle. I never used any drugs while we were together. Except what was prescribed by my doctor.
I went through the same thing. She went literally insane, latching onto all these conspiracy theories and extreme paranoia where she felt like everybody everywhere was lying to her all the time. It was like living in a bizarro universe where she'd misunderstood everything said and twist stuff 180 degrees. Amazing gaslighting. I started to question my own sanity. Got accused of doing drugs and cheating on her every single day. Turned out she was doing drugs and cheated on me, giving me an STD I needed surgery for. She was incredible in bed though and I wish I found stop hating sex dreams about her.
I tried it because my bf relapsed on it. Went around old friends still on it. We said we'd never do it again. 2 weeks later he found another friend still on it. For two weekends he'd go over there and then one weekend while I was dissoing I went with him to get it. We brought it home...that is when it was game over. I over stimmed on it and for two days thought I was going to die. Sweats, anxiety, couldn't sleep, body felt hot and I was losing feeling and warmth in my toes. I won't lie I tried to redose and it made things worse. I was seeing weird things. Almost like a horror acid trip is the only way I can describe it. I tried to flush my body and eat foods and take supplements/vitamins because I felt like my body was trying to shut down, or like I was about to have a heart attack. He continued to binge and it eventually caused him to go into psychosis. Where I was harmed and feared for my life. I called the cops and the next two days had to plan to move out of state because I had nowhere to go. The feeling of death was alone to make me never want to try it again but going through abuse from someone I loved very much while on meth just made me never want to go around that fucking shit ever again. It ruins people's lives.
But like you, that drug is very powerful. I felt powerful. I felt sexy. I felt artistic. I had a lot of kinky sex with my boyfriend. Nothing will ever come close to that. But... in the end. Not worth what you lose.
I’m bpd. After a painful breakup, I found myself with a meth addict for about 5 months, this was 2019, I stayed at his place about 3 months for work convenience. He was/ (is still) addicted to meth for over 5 years now..I’ve been choked, hit and insulted, also scammed by him, and he always tells me I’m crazy.. he encourages me to kill myself. When I left, we spoke a little bit, he offered me to commit suicide together with him. I know my story is off topic, I never did meth, even though I was with him sometimes when him and his sister does it. They offered me once, I was tempted but somehow I said no.. I was no saint though, I started smoking cigarettes and weed, I drink compulsively.. plus I was bulimic. I left when he told me he probably gave me Aids/STD. Luckily I dodged a bullet. But sadly, I tried to kill myself last year from all the abuse (and family problems), but I was dropped off at the emergency and survived. I’m happy now, I’m working on myself little by little, but I can never forget what hell it was to live with a meth addict..
Gyna Griffin so glad you got out alive. Keep working on yourself and never look back!
Just remember things get better stay strong
That is why it is too important to love yourself first.. I salute you for being so brave... I love you ...
You are so lucky... as an ex addict about 25years off everything, I have seen so many end up in hospitals and die. Harsh but that's the reality of drugs isn't it. Much love to you, there's so much pressure on LGBT people, I used to hate the haters (speaking as hetrosexual male here)...and tried to stop their abuse/negativity at times when I was younger.
I'm so glad we both made it. Very different journeys I'm sure, but I know one time is enough to end a life. Thank you for being an ally.
@@borderlineleo8119 your welcome.
Hang tough Leo......good info and remember.....the more you know.....the less you dont. Take Care brother. Big Greg
Thank you for sharing Leo. Well done stopping :)
I really appreciate your video and story, it's crazy how insidious things can be. I'm 24 years sober off alcohol and 53yo... I've had friends that were addicted and they still can't get off it. And as crazy as it sounds, I found a porn studio company that pretty much features people using and getting tricked into using. I couldn't stop watching that and then while I'm a lonely guy I started being invited to groups on Grindr. They inviting me, but I couldn't come over unless I promised to do it too, they said if I was nervous they can inject me with things to relax me to use the meth next, and then being told it would only last an hour and isn't at all addictive. It may have been one of the hardest things I've had to avoid twice now. Hearing stories of how horrible it is how it ruins your life always helping me to avoid joining in and I appreciate everyone's story.
I don´t know if this helps, because i havent actually tried meth. However I can definitely understand caving at one point. Being drunk and sad makes you unable to think about the true consequences, it makes you ignore those. I have taken random drugs while drunk before especially while getting into depression, it´s because i had this mentality that nothing was going to help anyway and you would do anything to feel better. Don´t feel bad about it cause you definitely arent alone as there is a whole epidemic around meth, and feel proud for getting over the comedown - I can't even imagine how bad that must be. Feel good about not having done meth again! I by the way could totally relate to the feeling you described (although with me it wasnt that intense ofcourse as meth is stronger) from the time I did dex (meth and dex have similar effects). I didnt use alot but the comedown of that was pretty bad as well. That night was the best night of my life lmao
I’m borderline too, and have tried lots of drugs including meth.
It's like looking into a mirror I went through litterally the exact upbringing and very similar reason to why I wanted to try it I have adhd so I have a very long story that you may relate to and enjoy. Like or comment so I know to begin writing it. Theres a lot of variables as to why I decided to try it and how I ingested it. I've been clean for about 2 years now and I'm 20. I've honestly been haunted ever since I get flashbacks almost everyday just very vivid images in my mind it used to cause so much anxiety, pain, and self hate but now when I get them I don't have any emotion attached that's when I turn the page and look back to see how far I've come. When I finally came down the whole universe came crashing down it was like the world was ending for me I couldn't stop crying shaking after I while I felt no emotion and that scared me the most.
Huggies! Stay strong.. Thanks for sharing your experience...
Thank you for your honest story! I'm definitely never gonna try meth!
I've tried it once and I'll never do it again never say never..
I want to try it so bad omg!!!!
You express yourself very well.
I wish they did more studies with people who have Been diagnosed with BPD and crystal meth…it’s truly crazy. I am a borderline and was a “functioning” meth addict for 5 years and not one person ever knew other than my dealer. Not one. It was the only drug that made me function like a normal human being-that is, until eventually it stopped working how I wanted it to. It was my greatest love and worst heartache. For real.
I’d love to talk to you about my story. It’s extremely similar to yours. ReAch out to me. And thank you for being so brave to share your story. You’re stories truly help people ❤️
I'm curious about this too as I've been doing it for a few years and haven't come close to acting like the stereotypical matchheads you see on the streets
@@rileytruax766That’s what you think.
Ok so i just tried it earlier today. Feeling powerful. Got a lot of work done. Teeth grinding stuff. Probably wont do it more than once a year or so like coke & speed.
How bads the comedown?
How are you? Sending love and safety ❤
@@vanessa_xopole2843 great! I survived. The comedown wasn't as bad as I expected. Had a lot of fun, played music, danced, hit golf balls with a new level of concentration.
I just got diagnosed with BPD 6 weeks ago. I'm a 42 year old professional male and 100% gay. My BPD has caused a lot of problems for me with jobs and relationships. My current partner and I have been together for 6 years, but we have been having a lot of problems lately because of addiction.
I strongly recommend looking for a DBT, CBT, or Addiction-related therapy group in your area. Not just a support group, but real group therapy that helps you recognize the triggers and develop skills to fight them so addiction doesn't ruin your relationship. Good luck to you both.
Thanks so much. I failed to mentioned that I am also a Leo :-)@@borderlineleo8119
Can we hook up?
Derek headley
My ex boyfriend beat me because of meth. Now I'm to look for another guy who won't me. I could never use meth.
I tried it just once.
And I think I got really really lucky....
For one thing, I'm almost certain it wasn't that pure...had to be fairly cut. Second, I didn't inhale that much...didn't get enough in my system.
SO.....the experience was so so. Yet I stayed awake for 60 hours straight. I got the downsides...without much upside. So it turned me off to it. Thankfully...
Wtf 60hr of being awake just a little hit wtf bro that is crazy!
For a person who tried it just one time when do you think is the appropriate time to get back to the normal daily life ? Thank you in advance
@@xmistaxcashxcoll Yep lol...I sure felt crazy by hour 60 😂 Who knows what it was cut with. I'm sure that factored into my specific experience. My original comment wasn't entirely accurate btw...I did more than one tiny hit for sure. Tbh, it seemed so cut that I kept going...hoping I'd feel something. I felt pretty great for about an hour, then was HYPER focused for a good 5 hours. I cleaned my apartment during that time. Then got the urge to mess with my hair in the mirror for some reason...sorta trying to style it I guess? And TWO HOURS later I realized I'd been standing in one spot, styling my hair in the mirror the entire time. It made me fixate intensely on whatever I was doing, with no semblance of time passing. My legs ached from standing still so long. Then I was wired beyond belief for the remaining 50 hours or so. When I finally did sleep, it was for a solid 16+ hours. This was in April of 2020...my work was shut down and I was just stuck at home, bored a lot. That was a weird 2 1/2 days lol...
@@yueltedros262 Not entirely sure what ur question is..? Could u clarify?
I quit 4 days ago. I tried it off and on for 3 weeks. I don't see the hype of meth but then most stimulants or pills don't get me as high as others. Downers. Weed do. But coke was the same I never had cravings. I personally tried it because of a guy I was seeing. But it effects me different. Because I have adhd...I never get hella unnatural, world shaking high. Just a little with a lot of focus. It did teach me, I need natural stimulants until I can go to a doctor and get back on Adderall after 18 years. I stopped at 12 (took Adderall fro. 5 to 12).
Good on you Leo and God Bless x
My little brother is hooked on meth and idk how to help him, he sits around in his boxers and uses all day. He doesnt eat, sleep, or talk to anybody 😢
I'm sorry you're going through this and that meth has got its grip on your brother. I wish I could help, but there's really nothing you can do to help him unless he truly wants help.
How old is your little bro? I'm assuming he's unemployed. Who does he live with? Who's enabling his addiction by allowing him to sit around their home all day doing nothing? These are things you should take into serious consideration. Do not enable him. If he's physically and mentally capable, then he needs a job, and he needs to start paying his share of the bills. Getting him out of the house is very important, and the weight of responsibility could possibly help him break his addiction.
Person addicted to meth like this needs jail or some kind of forced, most likely violent, intervention. Im sorry for you and him, but he cannot stop this at this point. I recognize this situation and I'm telling you...
@@MultiStarboardwishing someone jail time is fucked up
I did meth all night one night, snorting it. Then I took a break and tried to sleep which was impossible. In the morning I said to my creepy ex boyfriend - who brought the meth to me and offered it - I said, what would happen if we did more? He said “nothing” and set up the lines. I must have developed a sore after the second last snort hours earlier. When I sniffed a line, I felt excruciating pain like acid on an open wound. I said, “Aaaaw” and that was that. It was so horrible that I will forever associate meth with that pain and not the crazy intense bonding and talking I did with him , which I liked a lot at the time!! He was a total creep. He was obsessed with me and even on meth I was saying, “I’m not sure this is going to work out between us.” He knew that and hence bringing over the meth to bind me to him. Thank You God in Jesus Holy name for the painful ulcer in my nasal cavity which instantly and permanently shifted my reality. I did it with him because I was sad because I’m not normal. I’m a 62 year old female messy hoarder. I dumped him after another month but NEVER did meth again. A couple of days after doing it, I used a flashlight to look at my throat. There was a stream of blood coming down from my sinuses down the back of throat. It healed. It took over a week to feel semi normal again. I have a souvenir from the experience. Within about a week of my one long night of repeated meth use (he wrote the times on a paper explaining if you do it without waiting an hour between each time you could OD.) Anyway within about a week of that night I developed arthritis in both my hands and my fingers bent and changed shape with enlarged joints. I did this when I was age 56. I asked my mom when she started to get arthritis in her hands. She said age 63 she thought. So I figure I had pre-aged my genetics that much sooner than my mom. (Who never took street drugs btw. Good Lord no.) Even he said “We danced with the devil” and he apologized for bringing it to me. He knew his plan had failed as I was never doing that again. I couldn’t believe he continued to. I’m sorry I did it. SO not worth the intense being in the now 100 percent and all the talking I did. Definitely not worth the price I paid with early arthritis. More so, not worth what COULD HAVE become of me. Praise God in Jesus Holy name, Amen. God blessings to you.
Meth makes you LOVE and welcome sewer and smog. That is why it's so addictive.
As a gay man with BPD, I have to commend you for your honesty since meth has such a huge stigma attached to it. I have been addicted to meth for over ten years. I started using it after my grandmother passed away because, like you said, it stripped away all the anxiety and depression I was experiencing and made me feel amazing. The longer I used, I started to lose weight (always was on the heavy side) which in turn made more gay boys objectify me and it all began to spiral. I have been to treatment twice and unfortunately, its a real hard one to shake and am still in active addiction. I have become a "functional meth addict" if there is such a thing, but I hold a job, I have responsibilities and I do my best to do good at both. Sometimes I do, sometimes I dont, but for the most past, as long as I sleep, take care of my body and show up, life isnt so chaotic.
Is it tough to eat food drink water and sleep ? If your still doing those things perhaps its similar to stronger Adderall
I have never done anything for ice but I know I have seen like maggots in my bathroom and they weren't there the first time I tried meth. Also I believe it's mind over matter because I do it still once in a while and I really don't need it. I can go long periods of time without it with no problems. I will pray for you sweetie. Good luck finding your answers 😊
I believe it’s mind over matter also. My wife introduced me to it about 6 months ago. We still do it but only here n there.
@@tonysmith172 get a new wife
Thank you for sharing my story💔
Thank you for your short story. Take care . 😃😃😃
I bought .1 of meth once for like 10 bucks and It lasted me a week. doing it every day until it was gone, and it was only .1, an extremely small amount will get you high for hours. I didn't do it anymore after that.
i tried it once and it did nothing for me i asked myself what people saw in it so idk.
I'm borderline personality as well very impulsive and I'm trying to get sober off of Meth anyways any help would be greatly appreciated that's where I live I can take almost two years to get into a rehab getting anything and with the pandemic every NAA thing has been shut down
With all that is known, documented&shown (real life footage ,etc) I can honestly say this stuff scares the crap out of me, I just can't understand how the hell ANYONE,who has read ,seen, watched or witnessed the affects could ever think "that looks like fun" &then try it .I mean I get how ppl get addicted to opiates but meth? No way.
Cause media portrays it wrong if your around it and see people on it it’s adderall people in my life done hs and college on meth
You’ve got a good voice. You can be a fine voice actor.
Agree!
Fellow borderline here, pal. I hope you've become self aware enough to control it before I did. I was in my 30s before I got a grip.
*Edit: I'm pansexual. Is it more common in BPD to have a more "open" mind sexually?
Very possible, we are forced to deal with recesses of our minds that most people stay away from it all cost. I've been asking for 10 years if being transgendered has anything to do with the BPD because of the not knowing who you are aspect.. None of my clinicians can give me a clear answer.
I have noticed this about trans people as well. Identity issues relating to sexuality is actually a symptom of BPD in the ICD-10 (the alternative diagnostic manual to the DSM)@@lizjohnson1979
Not sure how far away you are removed from this video, but for some reason I decided to look into the highs given from meth. Just one of those random moments when you think about the highs and lows of drugs (and Breaking Bad's really weak portrayal of the drug imo). I don't do any drugs beyond the average glass of wine or two a night, but got curious about my younger days. I loved clubbing and remembered some great quality speed/amphetamine. The highs were very high, and the lows were equally excessive, and the reason I haven't touched drugs since.
This was very interesting tbh, and what I could imagine meth to be like. It's described as speed/amphetamine on a whole other cranked up to 11. That's what piques my interest, but also scares the shit out of me.
I'll just concentrate on those come-downs. Those scared the shit out of me.
SAMEEEE but it just happened today. I couldn’t get up, I’m feeling like my mind is moving at a million miles per hour. I thought it was a weed bong. They kept calling it “tea”. I will never do it again FUCKING EVER. This withdrawal is gonna be a bitch. Caffeine withdrawal is what I suffer from currently. I can quit weed anytime no addiction.
Tea😂 WTH
TRUCHA
Withdrawal wasn’t even slightly noticeable. But I’m clean. No addiction. IM STRONG N*GGA
So I tried meth a couple days ago, I was at work and couldn’t get acid because one of my dealers was off Xanax and wasn’t answering his phone and the other was literally too lazy to come and serve me. So I was taking out the trash with my friend and I had no intentions of trying meth but I asked him “hey bro do you still do dope” he stops moving, looks at me and it felt like an eternity but was probably a few seconds and asks me “why you ask” I said “just curious” and he said yeah, and I was like “have you ever went to work on meth”. He looks at me for a while again and says “right now”. Thinking of it he probably said it as a question more of a response and he probably only told me because he thought I already knew but I didn’t. And I was like “damn for real?” And he said yeah. After work I was mad I couldn’t get acid and my stopping point of drugs was weed molly acid and shrooms, the non addictive ones, I didn’t like benzos or opioids and I knew I’d probably like them if I tried them again but I asked him after work if I could buy some and he asked if I had money on me, I had 35$ so I gave him 30 and he poured about a .15 in there and said with his bowling ball eyes “bro I care about you a lot and I don’t wanna do this but I really need money right now but please don’t get hooked on this stuff and don’t tell anyone I do this stuff please” I ensured him I won’t get hooked with the most Sincerity I’ve probably ever had in my life to anyone and literally pinkie promised him I won’t. And so I started with a Little Rock he told me to do when I asked him how much should I do, I did it, it was honestly probably a .04 rock, I didn’t feel anything after an hour, the only thing that was happening was I was really focused on games and doing really good. So I did the rest and 20 minutes later my head was BUZZING and then I started feeling such a pleasant tingling in my body. So I tried to get hard for 1 1/2 hours with no result so I played games for probably 6 hours through the night and then tried to get hard again and found a method on how to get hard on it (my cock was really small on it so I put my middle finger on the very bottom and pointer fingers right below the head and stroked very slowly and Sensationally and then got hard 30 minutes later) and I was watching porn replaying the same video over and over because it was just so amazing, I didn’t know why I liked the video so much but it was like there were parts of the video I would never Acknowledge or see sober but I couldn’t tell what it was either. It was so great nothing mattered at all other than this porn video I was watching. When I got to work later that day (I didn’t sleep which is actually good because I need to fix my sleeping schedule) my friend thought I’d be coming down so he brought me a little more, I wasn’t coming down at all, I still felt great. But I started coming down an hour before my shift ended but I still didn’t do the stuff he brought to me. When I got home I started feeling the tingling and buzzing around my body once I relaxed, and later around 4 am I was still high (I took it 29 hours ago at this point) but only in my legs and I started hearing people walk down the hallway and I was getting tracers and whenever I stared at something for too long things started looking Alienated, and I somehow randomly fell asleep and woke up perfectly normal the next day.
(My friend has my drug test kit and told me before I even mentioning buying it that it tested for meth with my drug test kit)
You still using bro, don’t ruin your sex drive it’ll make it harder to come off, you’ll never find women attractive without meth it ruins your sex drive cause porn is amazing when you rob it
@@rubikescube496 oh I haven’t used since, but meth is no where near molly is, meth is my 3rd fav high tho
@@agarion101 really sex on molly, it doesn’t work
Respect
I‘m from Austria (not Australia) & meth comes a lot from czech republic but this sexual meth szene is not even a thing over there we just take it to make party 3 to 5 days
Thank you for sharing your story. My sister is on meth.... She I believe has personality disorder. 😢 How can I help her?
Preaching will help her
Don’t ever give up on her. Sobriety isn’t once size fit all. At her own time, hopefully sooner than later, she will make a change. But don’t ever give up on her. She will need you when the day comes.
Break up only and this dramatic... if you people were me and got to undergo what I've been through since as long as I remember you'd know what real hopelessness is attempting suicides (my autobiography is in progress now actually that I dream to publish, hopefully, proud to say I survived and stayed optimistic...). I too have many personality and mental, severe as my psychiatrist say even, still no excuse to trouble myself.
Please play life wise as it is not worth it, and you're worth all the happiness which you find by simply being good and sharing goodness and be satisfied with what you have knowing there'll always be people living worse yet they're smarter and stronger, so we should be grateful and remember it is about building yourself not finding it... I wish I knew this before I turned 25
Just tried it. Yesterday. I have bi-polar disorder. Also, I smoked a lot of it, unknowingly to me at the time, should have researched the dose. Couldn't sleep last night, even tho the horrible comedown already passed, now I just feel tired as shit. Might drink a shit ton of soda for the caffeine, idk tho.
I hope you're feeling better by now
The recent bad decisions made encourages the next set of decisions..The first & last time I tried it, I was on xanax so I just didn’t care. I was so depressed I even touch such a downgrade 💔 definitely regret having sex with someone I didn’t know too. I feel like I shook hands with devil, I’m glad I’m not addicted
I did this for the first time I need help do I just meditate I wish I hadn't
I cannot see myself ever using Meth. But, I could see myself using _shrooms_ sometime, if I really get depressed.
I felt so different and not normal. But I can really relate to your experience. Horrible drug
I almost cried at the start of the vid bc im 16 im not borderline but im bipolar and i did meth with my best friend who is clean now btw and it was the worst experience of my life
Im borderline too... And yes with the impulsivity.
My curiosity is what got me to try drugs and use for awhile.
thanks for this video
I was a bad alcoholic for 25 years n when it wasnt worken done meth n left my house on a bad night n i went under a bridge n call ed out to God n said Take my desire to drink away n i said to God i was gonna get help the next I told God i never want to feal this way Again! I also prayed that i was scared n i asked GOD FOR LOUD MUSIC AT⁰ WORK⁰
. THE NEXT DAY I GOT TO WORK I WAS DISCOURAGED THE A SPANISH MAN WALKED UP TO ME N SAID GOD PUT IT ON HIS HEART TO GIVE ME A NICE BLUETOOTH SPEAKER N HE SAID MERRY CHRISTMAS IN MAY 100 DEGREE WEATHER I TURNED THE SPEAKER ON N UNDER THE BRIDGE PLAYED I havent Drank 18 monthes today n no dope ! GOD CAN FIX ANYTHING I NEVER WANT TO FEEL THIS WAY AGAIN TAKE ME TO THE PLACE I LOVE TAKE ME ALL THE WAY! 🌶️
Beautiful testimony, God bless you.
The night shift got me. screw meth that was scary but enough is enough
If meth isn’t the worst path in life , it’s a death sentence. Glad I never tried it
Reminds me of the same effects Quaaludes would produce. Zero inhibitions about anything. But you would end up going to sleep with them.
Your experience(s) on meth are very common. Meth will dissolve a person's inhibitions and push thier sex drive into EXTREME overdrive. In my case meth takes about two weeks of "feel good" and dumps it all at once. I'm currently trying to achieve 3 weeks of sobriety and I must say the the cravings are completely crippling.
hope youre doing okay
The sex drive. Oh my God. Never came harder in my life. Lol. And don't get me started about that jacuzzi I stayed in for 6 hours
@@vanessadesorbo3600 Jesus Christ, Vanessa!
Found it in my girls purse, was so shocked, She was in the club on her birthday and I was sober driving her car waiting for her to be done with her friends, but instead of getting mad at her like the past few times I have found it, I smoked 5 grams of hers that night before she got out, it was all out of love and I’ve never felt the same since. That was my first time, and how I got over it, well I think about it everyday, but I have to stay strong knowing it’s best if I leave that alone.
You smoked 5 grams in one night?
@@kavitaaknath8607 yes
@BFAUST I’m hear to tell you that that wasn’t high grade crystal meth if you were able to do 5 grams in 24hrs and live to tell the tale. You’d be dead your heart would give up. A season addict could roll or smoke about 2 grams in a night and even then they’d admit that that was wasteful. Sorry but I’m calling bs on your story and you look gay af in that pro pic you don’t have a girlfriend.
Don’t leave it alone.
I was sober and straight and ended up gay and horney till I stopped and in my head I was like what the fuck just happened
I was wanting to try it just for curiosity but now that’s I hear your story I don’t want to anymore..
I want to tell you what I wish someone would have told me.....
"What you dont know, wont hurt you."
Dont know what it feels like=dont know what your missing out on.
I originally just wanted to try it too.
It's been 10 years and counting of just trying it now.
@Question Questioning Question I guess so...however I did believe I wasnt weak minded before drugs. 🤷♀️
@@lisamarie3465 your not weak minded you’ll get through it I promise 🙏🏿
@@reversethecurse7589 thank you. I sure do hope so. 🤍🤍🤍
@@lisamarie3465 have you had any medical effects from using that long
I had meth for the first time & had a psychotic episode for around 8 hours. Intense hallucinations.. luckily I didn’t panic. But it was pretty bad at times. I just couldn’t break out of it. 8 hours of hallucinations with maybe 3 second break now & then.
Hey brother to me when I got hooked on meth I was already a drug user and I was tired of smoking weed and was going through a depression and was surrounded by people that only did drugs at that time a friend of mine offered to me and it was my first Upper substance so when I tried I was completely in love with it, it was the passion you feel when you are a kid and you are in love with someone, it took grasp of me without I even realizing till things got out of control.
The reason I quit it was because I moved to a placer where I could not get it, so I was forced to quit and happened to start doing every drug I could find so I can fill the hole that meth left but ended up quitting drugs altogether because I saw what I was becoming spent a year sober and now I just used a specific types of drugs in special moments.
There is more to drugs that what we are taught, drugs are tools to take your consciousness to different realms.
I'm so glad you were able to escape this horrible drug, Juan. Happy, and proud of you. And I agree, there are some drugs that can be useful, but meth is definitely not one of them.
Juan Fernandez Yes! So few people understand that drugs are so much more than the biochemical changes to the brain. We are, in fact, multidimensional beings, eternal spirits experiencing existence through a biological vessel. They absolutely open you up to different realms, and in low doses can protect us from spiritual harm. This is why there's an opioid epidemic--it's difficult to stick to low doses of substances that cause euphoric feelings. I was blessed to have never gone the dark addiction route, but opioids absolutely saved my life. Life is full of paradoxes.
I've never tried crystal meth but saw a Comedy Central video by comic named Jessa something called Meth Pee. It's hilarious yet disturbing, and she describes experiences I've had in more spiritual ways about, well, seeing the matrix. I'd never ever recommend anyone do meth to achieve higher consciousness, but it's pretty wild that it's possible, and that the things people see on drugs are actually real, just in a dimensional realm or frequency we aren't usually tuned into. The problem w using drugs for those insights is you tend to bring back dark energies equal to the euphoria you felt. That's why psychedelics aren't addictive...they're not pure bliss, and when we have to face our demons we don't bring them back w us. Sorry for the long post, I just rarely find people who know drugs are gateways to other realms of consciousness.
@@psychegoddessoflight6360 If you wanted to achieve higher levels of consciousness then you'd have to focus on psychedelics like LSD, magic mushrooms, Ayahuasca & of course DMT. I agree that they aren't addictive because if you break on through to the other side, as Jim Morrison once sang, you will have such an awakening, that you will change how you view the world and yourself. Ego death. Meth on the other hand is just severe ups and downs. Nothing to gain. Nothing to learn. Just excess or gluttony!
I’m queer, and I became addicted to meth the summer after law school in eerily similar circumstances. I was essentially tricked into thinking it was cocaine, and once it was in my system, the two guys started taking off my clothes… consent had no meaning at that point. I spent the next 7 years practicing law as a meth addict before I attempted suicide in December 2020. At the hospital following my attempt, I was formally diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, bulimia and complex post-traumatic stress disorder. I then went to rehab for 7 months, and I’ve been clean since. I only wish I had been diagnosed with BPD much earlier in life… I could have received care earlier, which may have prevented me from becoming an addict.
I never got addicted ,used it 5 times sporadically, never had a dealer for it and i like heroin more than meth or coke, inwas sapposed to stop heroin completely when new years came around but ive been using every 4-5 days vs everyday since corona started(i detoxed about 20+ times but didn't plan on quitting completely till corona was gone and we were free to do what we want, but i was sukked in and no longer in control (thought i was in control the whole time), i get that sporadic (feind rush) which makes me call my dealer i deleted his number but remember the first 6 digits which is enough to bring his full number on my dialpad, i picked up some methadone today and plan on taking that next time i feel like using dope. Ive been using it for 4 years now bit the first year was like once a month or once every 2 months.
I tried it, only snorted about less than a gram, come down wasn’t strong, but definitely not doing it again.
Meth is such a strange one. To me the high was pretty nice but I would much rather choose several other substances over it, including regular speed witch gave me a much better high. But even so, meth would make me fiend like nothing I’ve experinced. It really drove me totally crazy for the duraiton of the high. I also remember feeling like the high wasn’t gonna end. When I thought I was beginning to come down the high would ramp up for a few hours again out of no where. It trully is a deranged drug and I can’t recommend it to anyone
Your amazing
Thank you for sharing
Great video.
Thanks, Mike!
I had a relationship with one man who blew meth into my mouth. I hated the feeling. I had anxiety and it was horrible. He became very aggressive once he smoked meth.
Seriously, sounds awesome…, have to try it😢