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I’m biased here because I’m not super religious, but I personally would be furious if I grew up and found out my sibling and I could have had college funds and/or trust funds but mom gave all her extra money away to a church, especially if there was never direct evidence that charity was being done with that money. I’d resent her forever. If I were the husband and watched my kids miss out on a better life because my wife was secretly giving away THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS every month, I’d also be angry and resent her forever unless she acknowledged how fucked up it was. Giving that much money to the church makes her feel good, it doesn’t praise god. Ultimately this is about the wife’s feelings and interests vs the well being and future of her children, marriage, and family as a whole. Y’all being too gentle on churches and their money. You can respect someone’s religious beliefs without blindly accepting your spouse giving away $90,000+ a year to ANYTHING. That is an insane amount of money that could be saved or spent for her young children, who she is responsible for and should be prioritizing.
AGREED. But... here's another pov. My aunt is super religious (catholic) she gives 30% of her husband's check every Sunday to the church. Both me and my cousin were so confused till one day they broke it down to him that they do it for the taxes so they don't get any taken out or something like that. I'm not sure how that works but that's how it was it explained to my cousin. Still outrageous to me (not religious) like thats still money down the drain imo.
Just imagine the husband giving 50% of his money to strippers because he wants to help them. Is what he believes and what he desires with his money. Would the wife not be shitting bricks if that was the case?
Would you still say that if we swapped out “tithes” with equipment for hobbies? Like say she was a tswift fan and spent it on cds and vinyls and tickets to see her. Or if she were a gamer and spent it on building her own gaming pc and then a bunch of games/game accessories, or if she knit/sewed as a hobby and spent it on needles and a sewing machine. My mom spent my college fund on purses and jewelry so I would have much preferred the money go to a church or even a productive hobby instead of something like that. Idk just my two cents.
@@alexiswhite1511 Yes, 100%. That’s why I wrote “your spouse giving away $90,000+ a year to ANYTHING” in my original comment. Why in the world would you think I’d be okay with the wife dropping $90k on yarn for a knitting hobby but not tithes? Both have the same issue I described originally, which is the wife giving away money secretly and deprioritizing her family’s needs. What your mom did was fucked up. And if your mom had dropped the money on tithes instead of jewelry and purses, you’d still be in the exact same position.
@@jessicabautista6209 This is the thing too. People want to act like religion is a special protected belief because it’s deeply held and personal, but I don’t see how it differs from any other deeply held personal belief. Besides, if the wife was donating to animal shelters (which actually need and use the money in immediately tangible ways compared to the church), I’d imagine commenters would say that is irresponsible despite the good cause.
They choose their own prices too. Isn't the point of tipping that the service workers aren't getting paid minimum wage and rely on tips vs their wage? If a guy's setting his own wage like in this case then I don't see why tipping would be expected whatsoever
26:05 NTA! As a believer in Yahusha (a.k.a. Jesus Christ), I don't think she should stop tithing her money, but here is where she royally messed up: 1) she should never have lied about her income! Now that her husband found out, the trust is gone! 2) at bare minimum, you're only supposed to tithe 10% of your income, but not a whole *_half!_* You still have to be able to pay the cost of living!
I would go a step further. Yes, the ancient Israelites under the Mosaic Law were commanded to tithe, but Christians today aren't under the Mosaic Law, and nowhere in the Bible is tithing mentioned as a requirement for Christians. Any money you give is voluntary, and I definitely think that like you said, lying to her husband was not a good move. At the end of the day, it is her money, but I do think she should invest in her children more because while tithing isn't required, taking care of your family is.
In the post he talks about how she takes care of a majority bills because she makes more. So he has less expenses, why can’t he invest too? I feel like we need more context before making a ruling cause it just isn’t seeming incredibly clear. He also handled it by leaving her for the night, if my spouse reacted like that during a disagreement I’d be nervous coming to them about anything.
@@charleejo9386 but also she's giving them 100,000k+ to them a year and that could easily go towards her kids future. Also this is more than just a disagreement this is their and kids livelihood. Him leaving for the night wasn't overreacting especially since she was not caring what he had to say at all and just threw it back in his face that is all her money and he has no say. I feel as though when you're a family unit y'all both have a say with the other does because it affects both your lives. Especially in this scenario that much money she's spending could easily help fund their family's future
27:10 it's not like the pastor is forwarding that money to God, of course it's the pastor that is getting rich. If you want to serve the lord, please serve your family and dont give that much, then tend to the needy: shelters, food banks, donations, etc. Don't make a man rich 36:14 there's a video (in Spanish) saying God told him to build a big garage for all the cars he was going to have. He said he has so much faith he already built it, and people cheered to it
The fact that it was not transparant in the marriage is such a red flag. Perhaps they can make an agreement to donate parts to charties. 50% is so much to give to 1 single institute.
As a new teacher, the “i’ll wait” part is hilarious and i hated it as a kid, but it EATS from our prospective because you are talking a lottt w a 57 in the grade book!
I dated a guy for a few months in college. Told him that i really liked him and wanted to be official, he said he liked me but not as a girlfriend 😬 i told him i wasnt interested in seeing him anymore, ended up dating my now husband instead. that guy was pissed and wanted to date again, but he got blocked😂 he stalked me online to find my new address a few months after i got married and tried to apologize for turning me down. Cops were there to keep him from talking to me and my husband. Like sir you only want me or apologize to me after i moved on and forgot about you 😂 also a reason why i choose the bear!
I had NO IDEA people were expected to tip tattos artists! Tipping should be meant solely for people who don't make a full hourly wage, like servers and bartenders!
tithe is an ancient practice. pastors today preach. ""give what you can"". or "" Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion".
Giving half of your income to a church where there is at least a 95% chance the pastor is using it for himself, has got to be one of the stupidest things i have ever heard of. No financial intelligence at all. Husband is nta and wife needs therapy.
I think getting fallacious degrees taken from somebody who plagiarized them is not petty, it's necessary. It's so weird the hosts' reactions to this because it's clearly not just about this one person's bad experience, it affects a lot of people and institutions when unearned privilege is allowed to stand. What's 'petty' to me is focusing on the pettiness of revealing that this person had slipped through the cracks and failed upward. Kudos to the OP who had the mettle to read that garbage thesis and put in the effort to do right by everyone else
I wonder if it’s that they’re not super familiar with academia? It’s not that hard to find someone’s thesis (part of earning said thesis is that they have to publish it in some capacity) and there are a ton of plagiarism checking sites/softwares to scan for the passages that were not cited. Like OP says, this was 20 minutes of research to find out that their overly privileged dingbat of a boss could very easily be taken down a peg and make people see the guys dumb opinions for what they are now that he can’t hide behind advanced degrees he didn’t earn in the first place.
Yes exactly! Boss was already extremely privileged. He has people working under him. Fired OP, essentially taking money from him for being the responsible one. And he finds out the boss isn’t even qualified on paper to be in the position he is??? The exposure was needed
About the man vs bear tangent.... I've spent my whole life hiking in the woods and wild animals have never hurt me. The same can't be said about men in my life......Also, the SA story about the orangutan koko broke me........ sooooo the bear will ALWAYS be my choice.... 😢❤
If I was the husband I’d be furious. If I was giving 100% of my salary to the family but found out my wife we deceiving me and only giving 50% to the family I would lose all trust. Giving money to church is not a problem but you have to be open about it with your partner.
As a Tattooer in NYC where the standard is $250 an hour in the highest caliber shops, I never expect anyone to tip anything more than what they deem appropriate. You’re spending a lot of money on priceless art that will be on you for the rest of your life; don’t skimp on that- but to EXPECT more in a tip? Nah that’s weird.
Oof I get that y'all are religious so you're giving her a lot of leniency but 1) she's lying, 2) it's kinda hypocritical to say he can't get mad at her for secretly spending this much when the Bible says they should be partners and she should be submissive to him (i don't agree with this not it IS very much part of Christian theology whereas 50% tithing is not, that's all her), and 3) they have children and this is enough money to make a major difference in the quality of their children's lives. If she's giving away thousands a month then that could pay for their kids college easily, and the kids won't be eligible for a lot of financial aid bc of mom's real income, 4) if this affects her retirement savings, it could leave her dependent on her husband or kids so they're actively affected. Basically, it would be different if she'd been upfront from the beginning but when you're married and co-parenting it's not just your decision anymore, bc your finances and futures are so tied together. What happens to one of you affects you both, so you need to be having those discussions together. It works be different if they had an agreement about what percentage of their incomes were theirs to do with as they please and she was donating that, but they don't. That would do major damage to my ability to trust my spouse
The way tipping culture has broken all our brains is so devastating. I’ve had to legit ask myself before I pay “what service am I tipping?” To help me not freak out over choosing not to tip
Story 2: Thithing/collections is no longer required per the scriptures, due to the sacrifice of Jesus Christ (Colossians 2:13-14 & Ephesians 2:13-15). Tithe is not required for us according to the New Testament, only in the ancient times of the Old Testament. Plus, in Deuteronomy 26:12-15, the tithe was only supposed to be 10% of the harvest, not 40-50% like OP's wife. Lol. “In the early Christian Church the custom of consecrating to religious purposes a tenth of the income was voluntary, and it was not made obligatory until the Council of Tours in 567.”-Cyclopedia of Biblical, Theological, and, Ecclesiastical Literature, by McClintock and Strong, Volume X, page 436. [Edit = random typo]
Where does OP live? Because half of her income before tithing may legally belong to him! If she has been lying about how much she makes that is fraud (not very Christian) and she owes him some of that money she spent. I want an update and hope he gets his money back! Also full disclosure: I grew up in a church that thinks tithing is a scam (one of the only good things about my former religion) and donations are voluntary. I'm now atheist and think that if churches are making money off their congregants they should have to pay taxes! And 50%? This woman is being conned. Period.
My take on the wife giving 50% of her income to the church as someone outside of America and not religious, she has low key been groomed by the church her whole life, she is being exploited. Money has nothing to do with true spirituality and everything thing to do with systems of control and oppression. Someone who does this needs to be told what to do, no self-agency and doesn’t want any, it’s sad honestly.
Yeah, at a certain point, percentage-based tipping is stupid. If I already had to spend a bunch of money on something, what makes you think I’m ready to spend a bunch more just because of the initially high price tag. And even with food service, it’s weird because if I order a single high priced item, the server does the same amount of work to bring me that plate as if I ordered a single cheap item. So it’s not even based on the service it’s based on the product/food itself and that’s completely illogical. Just because steak is more expensive than chicken I should tip more? Huh? I still generally abide by percentages, but I often think it’s stupid while I do it 🤦🏾♂️
The story about the wife giving 50% of her income. Thats tough, because people view their relationship with god as #1 over their spouse and children. Even if you wanted to make the arguement that she should have considered her partner or children's wellbeing, she believes she will be compensated in heaven. That's a tough one
When we put our house up for sale, someone went through our file cabinet, and I guess took photos of our tax returns and tried to open accounts with our info. We have our credit locked, so they weren't successful, but it was within 2 days of our open house. We removed a lot of things from the house like jewelry, electronics and other high value items, but forgot about papers. I'm glad we found a buyer quickly so we only had 1 open house. It's crazy how many ways people find to scam others.
Tipping culture in America, specifically started after the slaves were freed and white business owners wanted to get away with not paying them, and forcing them to rely on the generosity, or not so generosity of strangers
Maybe this is a hot take but I think we are taking in the religious aspect of the situation and not the marital aspect. They are married not dating therefore it is not just her money it is their money. To what Sam was saying it is not fair for her to say she can do what she wants with her money no question because that is a form of financial abuse. I understand religion is important but she is making decisions that effects her entire household and then LYING on top of it. In what world is it ok to lie to your husband about your income. That alone is a huge breach of trust. Whether the husband is religious or not his points are very valid and what she did was wrong. If it wasn’t then why lie in the first place. To me I don’t see both sides at all she is wrong. Not for giving half her income (which is crazy) but for lying to her husband about her income and what she is doing with it. We can’t excuse toxic behavior because we like the reason.
For tattooing they typically don't expect a tip. It's just a nice bonus. I tipped my tattoo artist mostly cause his hand was dying after using the smallest needle on me for 4 hours
I'll never understand America and your tipping culture. I get tipping waiters, but... a tattoo artist?? like, if I had paid 4 THOUSAND DOLARS for a tattoo, I would've never thought I had to leave any sort of tip...
as a dude I also choose the bear. not cuz i fear the man but simply because in the worst case scenario where its an aggressive bear vs an aggressive man there are survival tactics to get away from the bear unharmed (make yourself bigger don't turn your back to it, etc.) vs a dude who my only options are be stronger than them or better in a fight. and in the best case scenario where its a chill ass bear vs a normal dude i'd rather hang out with a docile bear than a boring regular dude. Edit: searched the lizard story cuz surely no way...truly sick world we live in. they killed and ate it after they did the deed. truly sickening.
As a professional housekeeper, for Story #1, OP is NTA. I work for myself, so I set my own rates which cover supplies, driving, and time. Tips are always appreciated but never expected! I am all for giving food service workers 20% tips but when it comes to more expensive things, like tattoos, I don’t tip based off a percentage.
As someone who grew up somewhat religious and poor, and is now an atheist, I do think it’s a bit ridiculous how much money the wife was giving to the church. That’s a few hundred thousand to the church, are there any results of her labor?? If you’re very into your religion and have the means, I feel like 10% is PLENTY. I really wonder how she got to giving 50%. I feel like once her and husband started getting serious, it is something that should have been brought up bc you are combining lives, and eventually bringing new life into the picture. Their future child could have had a few hundred thousand toward their wellbeing already saved up. I would personally feel lied to if I had married someone and found out they were 1) making TWICE as much as they say and 2) giving that HALF away without telling me anything. I wouldn’t be with someone that religious to begin with bc of the difference in priorities/beliefs, but to each their own.
Im actually really impressed at the way the conversation went around the donating to church as y’all are folks that grew up in the church! Although this bit about knowing who someone is sleeping with is understandable but you don’t have a right to know WHO your situationship is sleeping with. The only information you’re entitled to is are you being sexually active with another person and are you using protection, that’s it.
The fact that the sife that gives the money to the chruch WAS HIDDING this from op, make me believe that she is the ah Yeah yeah its her money, BUT THEY ARE MARRIED. Its spectrd that finances are clear and everyones agree with it.
If you are married you 100% need to agree on how money is spent, regardless of how much money each party makes. You are building a family. There is no such thing as your money and their money. It is about communicating, supporting each other and being honest with each other. Maybe this wife shouldn't have gotten married if she wants to frivolously spend her money and negatively impact her entire family.
Would you consider adding disclaimers before topics of SA or anything like that so your listeners have a chance to skip that topic if they find it unsettling please
As a English woman, I don’t understand USA tipping culture. I understand with regards to servers as their pay is abysmal. I would always tip servers in the USA, but it should be the employer’s responsibility to pay fair wages. I will only tip UK servers if it’s really good service (I used to be a bartender/waitress myself, so I do understand the work associated). But with a lot of other services, I don’t get it, just charge what you’re worth or employers should charge appropriately. If you’re expecting more money just include it in the price. I’m not adding 20% to everything unless it’s EXCEPTIONAL. I’ll pay for the service and maybe get them a coffee/drink when I come in 🤷🏼♀️
I'm no longer religous, but I cannot wrap my head around that tithing story. Money is a human concept. What does a god need money for? Upkeeping the building? Because if you're truly religious, you should feel just as faithful in an empty lot. Why do they need $90,000 a year? Surely, more good could come from raising your kids to make the world a better place and having the funds to help them achieve that. Isn't that supposed to be the whole point?
While it might not be required, i try to tip well when i can, especially at places i might return to. Tatoo artist, hair dressers, holiday tips for mail carrier and delivery people. Not only is it a treat for them but you will often find other perks. The hair dresser will work harder to work you into your schedule. Your tattoo artist might low ball your next tatoo price or offer free touch ups in next few years. They will put in more effort because they know they will be rewarded for it.
12:44 SJ is completely right if you are working for yourself, no matter what skill you are doing you set the price and your prices should be a livable wage for you and you should not expect tips. Tipping someone working for someone who doesn’t pay them a livable wage to be begin with is more understandable than tipping their own prices.
For the 2nd story I wonder if she believes in prosperity gospel, and believes that she makes as much money as she does because she gives so much to the church 🤔
1:04:47 there’s a small town within Houston called West U and it’s the safest place in Houston and I went for a run in the middle of the day when I thought it was safe and I got chased for at least 5 minutes before he caught up to me. When I finally showed him my pepper spray he backed off and said “damn I just wanted to see if you run here often. U could’ve just said leave me alone.” What did he think I was doing when I was ignoring him for 5 minutes? I even shoo-ed him off before that. West u cops were kind enough to follow me home after I told them what happened.
Hey girlies! on the note of the girl who was unalived because she didn’t give a guy her number. My trick is I use a textnow number or some other texting app that gives you a number, it’s about $5 a year to lock in your number. I have the number memorized and I give it out to anyone because it doesn’t trace back to me and it’s easy to block people off that number or just get a new one if necessary. I’m not giving my actual number out to creepy dudes there’s a lot of ways to track your activity on that shit. But I’m not refusing my number being given out either cause that’s how you can get assaulted too, so that’s my little safety precaution
The tithe thing needs more info. If she started this before they were married, then she shouldn’t have to stop but it should have been a conversation. I can see being in a place being broke and asking god for help and promising that in return. She could spread it around to other charities maybe.
My tattoo artist owns his shop and never expects a tip. At my last $300 leg piece appointment I gave him an extra $50 but my max out for a tip is $100 so even if tipping 20% went over $100 that’s still all I’d give. He sets all his prices and wouldn’t accept work he didn’t want to do so it’s not like I’m “taking his time from someone else” if we go a certain number of hours. He knows what he needs to set prices at to break even on supplies and time while also giving himself the wage he wants. With restaurants I feel 20% at least is important because they don’t know how long you’ll be there and any extra time spent is taking away from the next table of people. A tattoo artist KNOWS how long the service they’re providing will take and can base the pricing per hour. Restaurant servers can’t say “okay that was 2 hours of work so it’s time to go or I’m charging you more for your food”
For the tithing story, didn’t he already established that she pays more bills because she makes more? He’s wanting to tie up more of her income in other things, even though she’s already doing what she NEEDS to do. Should she have been straight forward? Absolutely. But he literally slept somewhere else over this, that doesn’t seem like an understanding and communicative partner in the first place.
I don’t know if it’s just something none of you have experienced or witnessed but relationships do exist where you are exclusively sleeping with one individual but not BF/GF. The assumption that she didn’t think he was worth being GF too instead of taking her at face value with her just being happy with how things are and not having the capacity to be a full blown romantic partner irritating on OPs part. The question I have is: before he asked to change the dynamic, was he sleeping with other women? And was that because of an agreement they had? If he wasn’t, then yes he’s the asshole. If he changed the dynamic of the relationship backwards in response to her not moving it forwards WITHOUT COMMUNICATING, then yes he’s a bit of a dick. I get feeling hurt and it’s super easy to say “I’m single I can do what I want.” But if you’re sexually intimate with someone then they have every right to know if you’re being so with someone else at the same time. Maybe he never intended on being with first girl again. Or maybe they were never even exclusively hooking up, but I think you missed discussing that possibility
I threatened this boy that owed me money that I'd take his diploma that way if he didn't pay up. I just caught up to all the episodes I listen to y'all whenever I'm whatever-ing (walking home, on the bus, gym, etc) love y'all from Jersey and thank you for reading my past story. Stay comfortable 😎😝😁
Hi tattoo apprentice here! Our prices are often based on what your skill level is, many start at $50 to $80 an hour at least in my state due to it being a school state. You should be tipping your artist (in my opinion, but even $20 is fantastic to receive), even if you heard of it or not it is heavily discussed in the community most time and I always tip my artist. I think his tip was great! I don’t think it needed to be more and it could be less, but take in mind you are paying often for the hours he did manually, I don’t charge until stencil is on, so I’m not charging you the hours it took me to draw and possibly more hours to make any amount of requests you made to change it, I’m charging for my time and labor there, supplies and skill level. Just because as some of you are saying it is a luxury item, yes it is, for you, but this our job and how we pay our bills
Hey guys!! I have been following the podcast for a while now. My wife is from Nebraska, and we are moving temporarily to Brazil, my home country. Whenever you decide to visit that beautiful country of mine, it would be my pleasure to show you around.
Heavily tattooed person here. Anything more than $1000 and I don’t tip. I tip more for flat rate pieces because they are usually discounted. $200 for $4,000 is so generous
I feel like if the 50% tithe one was switched and it was the husband trying to shut down the conversation by telling the wife that it's not her money, we'd all call him an AH.
In relation to the wife giving half her money away: to prioritize your church over the happiness and well being of your own family is not only irresponsible but void of what true faith in God's love means. If she wanted to be right with god she give money to organizations that actually do things to help others, or she could volunteer to feed the homeless and other stuff like that. A good and loving god would rather you spend money on those you love than you trying to buy gods love
That 50% thing is so weird because if I felt that God wanted me to give that much monthly l, I wouldn't just give it to one place. I'd take the 40% and directly help the less fortune. I'd try to fund a non profit or something.
I was thinking the same thing. If I was the husband I would want to have a more in-depth conversation about what she believes tithing is. In the New Testament, believers are called to tithed 10% of their whole being - earnings/harvest, time, talents, gifts. So it doesn't necessarily have to be 50% of her actual money if she really is feeling called. She can host free workshops for other inspiring writers so they can also generate a great income like her or tutor kids in writing/language arts in addition to giving the church 10%. In my early 20s when I was in grad school and only working part-time, I couldn't afford to give 10% of my checks to the church so I started a free tutoring, homework help program at the church. I was blessed so much from that as all my bills were paid, and my kids were doing great. But again, the principals of giving and tithing were taught to me in depth and not just a general "give the church money or else". I liked how they discussed the topic thought. It voiced their skepticism while also respecting that she may have a very intimate covenant with her God.
I understand tips for servers/bartenders bc the hourly wage is so low but I wish other industries would just set their prices what they want to be paid. I hate having to tip for hair services/nails/etc. like I’d rather just pay more and not have to worry about that.
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Admitting That I Find My Wife Unattractive After Her Surgery ua-cam.com/video/4XY-fIOFG7g/v-deo.html
I Refused To Donate My Kidney to My Dying Sister ua-cam.com/video/kQXUI31GQzY/v-deo.html
My Ex-Husband Who Cheated on Me With My Sister Emailed Me After 6 Years ua-cam.com/video/2oZzUeNGr78/v-deo.html
I’m biased here because I’m not super religious, but I personally would be furious if I grew up and found out my sibling and I could have had college funds and/or trust funds but mom gave all her extra money away to a church, especially if there was never direct evidence that charity was being done with that money. I’d resent her forever. If I were the husband and watched my kids miss out on a better life because my wife was secretly giving away THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS every month, I’d also be angry and resent her forever unless she acknowledged how fucked up it was. Giving that much money to the church makes her feel good, it doesn’t praise god.
Ultimately this is about the wife’s feelings and interests vs the well being and future of her children, marriage, and family as a whole. Y’all being too gentle on churches and their money. You can respect someone’s religious beliefs without blindly accepting your spouse giving away $90,000+ a year to ANYTHING. That is an insane amount of money that could be saved or spent for her young children, who she is responsible for and should be prioritizing.
AGREED. But... here's another pov. My aunt is super religious (catholic) she gives 30% of her husband's check every Sunday to the church. Both me and my cousin were so confused till one day they broke it down to him that they do it for the taxes so they don't get any taken out or something like that. I'm not sure how that works but that's how it was it explained to my cousin. Still outrageous to me (not religious) like thats still money down the drain imo.
Just imagine the husband giving 50% of his money to strippers because he wants to help them. Is what he believes and what he desires with his money. Would the wife not be shitting bricks if that was the case?
Would you still say that if we swapped out “tithes” with equipment for hobbies? Like say she was a tswift fan and spent it on cds and vinyls and tickets to see her. Or if she were a gamer and spent it on building her own gaming pc and then a bunch of games/game accessories, or if she knit/sewed as a hobby and spent it on needles and a sewing machine. My mom spent my college fund on purses and jewelry so I would have much preferred the money go to a church or even a productive hobby instead of something like that. Idk just my two cents.
@@alexiswhite1511 Yes, 100%. That’s why I wrote “your spouse giving away $90,000+ a year to ANYTHING” in my original comment.
Why in the world would you think I’d be okay with the wife dropping $90k on yarn for a knitting hobby but not tithes? Both have the same issue I described originally, which is the wife giving away money secretly and deprioritizing her family’s needs.
What your mom did was fucked up. And if your mom had dropped the money on tithes instead of jewelry and purses, you’d still be in the exact same position.
@@jessicabautista6209 This is the thing too. People want to act like religion is a special protected belief because it’s deeply held and personal, but I don’t see how it differs from any other deeply held personal belief.
Besides, if the wife was donating to animal shelters (which actually need and use the money in immediately tangible ways compared to the church), I’d imagine commenters would say that is irresponsible despite the good cause.
$4000 even if you have booth rent... you shouldn't be requiring anybody to tip on top of that because that is a luxury service
They choose their own prices too. Isn't the point of tipping that the service workers aren't getting paid minimum wage and rely on tips vs their wage? If a guy's setting his own wage like in this case then I don't see why tipping would be expected whatsoever
It's because tips don't get taxed if they're in cash unless someone is extremely honest
FIRST SPONSOR?!?? The ottoman empire rise up!
lol is this an inside joke?
@@Swaggy362 yep
@@VantaMoon whats it mean?
@@Swaggy362 Its one of the old names for the viewers that scrapped
My heart fluttering bc SJ is back 🤩
Yesss I missed her❤️
26:05 NTA! As a believer in Yahusha (a.k.a. Jesus Christ), I don't think she should stop tithing her money, but here is where she royally messed up:
1) she should never have lied about her income! Now that her husband found out, the trust is gone!
2) at bare minimum, you're only supposed to tithe 10% of your income, but not a whole *_half!_* You still have to be able to pay the cost of living!
1000% agree
I would go a step further. Yes, the ancient Israelites under the Mosaic Law were commanded to tithe, but Christians today aren't under the Mosaic Law, and nowhere in the Bible is tithing mentioned as a requirement for Christians. Any money you give is voluntary, and I definitely think that like you said, lying to her husband was not a good move. At the end of the day, it is her money, but I do think she should invest in her children more because while tithing isn't required, taking care of your family is.
In the post he talks about how she takes care of a majority bills because she makes more. So he has less expenses, why can’t he invest too? I feel like we need more context before making a ruling cause it just isn’t seeming incredibly clear. He also handled it by leaving her for the night, if my spouse reacted like that during a disagreement I’d be nervous coming to them about anything.
@@charleejo9386 but also she's giving them 100,000k+ to them a year and that could easily go towards her kids future. Also this is more than just a disagreement this is their and kids livelihood. Him leaving for the night wasn't overreacting especially since she was not caring what he had to say at all and just threw it back in his face that is all her money and he has no say. I feel as though when you're a family unit y'all both have a say with the other does because it affects both your lives. Especially in this scenario that much money she's spending could easily help fund their family's future
I completely agree 🎉
27:10 it's not like the pastor is forwarding that money to God, of course it's the pastor that is getting rich. If you want to serve the lord, please serve your family and dont give that much, then tend to the needy: shelters, food banks, donations, etc. Don't make a man rich
36:14 there's a video (in Spanish) saying God told him to build a big garage for all the cars he was going to have. He said he has so much faith he already built it, and people cheered to it
The fact that it was not transparant in the marriage is such a red flag. Perhaps they can make an agreement to donate parts to charties. 50% is so much to give to 1 single institute.
As a new teacher, the “i’ll wait” part is hilarious and i hated it as a kid, but it EATS from our prospective because you are talking a lottt w a 57 in the grade book!
Hell, yall are talking a lot for yall to need the study guide lol 😂so I'll wait. I love it when the teacher adds in that little I got my education 😂
I dated a guy for a few months in college. Told him that i really liked him and wanted to be official, he said he liked me but not as a girlfriend 😬 i told him i wasnt interested in seeing him anymore, ended up dating my now husband instead. that guy was pissed and wanted to date again, but he got blocked😂 he stalked me online to find my new address a few months after i got married and tried to apologize for turning me down. Cops were there to keep him from talking to me and my husband. Like sir you only want me or apologize to me after i moved on and forgot about you 😂 also a reason why i choose the bear!
I had NO IDEA people were expected to tip tattos artists! Tipping should be meant solely for people who don't make a full hourly wage, like servers and bartenders!
SJ is backkkkkkkkk! We love you!!!!
tithe is an ancient practice. pastors today preach. ""give what you can"". or "" Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion".
🎯🎯🎯
Giving half of your income to a church where there is at least a 95% chance the pastor is using it for himself, has got to be one of the stupidest things i have ever heard of. No financial intelligence at all. Husband is nta and wife needs therapy.
I think getting fallacious degrees taken from somebody who plagiarized them is not petty, it's necessary. It's so weird the hosts' reactions to this because it's clearly not just about this one person's bad experience, it affects a lot of people and institutions when unearned privilege is allowed to stand. What's 'petty' to me is focusing on the pettiness of revealing that this person had slipped through the cracks and failed upward. Kudos to the OP who had the mettle to read that garbage thesis and put in the effort to do right by everyone else
They have very interesting takes based on their perspective. Its why im not subscribed, but I'll absolutely give them the views
I wonder if it’s that they’re not super familiar with academia? It’s not that hard to find someone’s thesis (part of earning said thesis is that they have to publish it in some capacity) and there are a ton of plagiarism checking sites/softwares to scan for the passages that were not cited. Like OP says, this was 20 minutes of research to find out that their overly privileged dingbat of a boss could very easily be taken down a peg and make people see the guys dumb opinions for what they are now that he can’t hide behind advanced degrees he didn’t earn in the first place.
Yes exactly! Boss was already extremely privileged. He has people working under him. Fired OP, essentially taking money from him for being the responsible one. And he finds out the boss isn’t even qualified on paper to be in the position he is??? The exposure was needed
Thanks!
"You have an old soul, but then you're like 14 years old, which is crazy"🤣🤣
About the man vs bear tangent.... I've spent my whole life hiking in the woods and wild animals have never hurt me. The same can't be said about men in my life......Also, the SA story about the orangutan koko broke me........ sooooo the bear will ALWAYS be my choice.... 😢❤
If I was the husband I’d be furious. If I was giving 100% of my salary to the family but found out my wife we deceiving me and only giving 50% to the family I would lose all trust. Giving money to church is not a problem but you have to be open about it with your partner.
As a Tattooer in NYC where the standard is $250 an hour in the highest caliber shops, I never expect anyone to tip anything more than what they deem appropriate. You’re spending a lot of money on priceless art that will be on you for the rest of your life; don’t skimp on that- but to EXPECT more in a tip? Nah that’s weird.
Oof I get that y'all are religious so you're giving her a lot of leniency but 1) she's lying, 2) it's kinda hypocritical to say he can't get mad at her for secretly spending this much when the Bible says they should be partners and she should be submissive to him (i don't agree with this not it IS very much part of Christian theology whereas 50% tithing is not, that's all her), and 3) they have children and this is enough money to make a major difference in the quality of their children's lives. If she's giving away thousands a month then that could pay for their kids college easily, and the kids won't be eligible for a lot of financial aid bc of mom's real income, 4) if this affects her retirement savings, it could leave her dependent on her husband or kids so they're actively affected.
Basically, it would be different if she'd been upfront from the beginning but when you're married and co-parenting it's not just your decision anymore, bc your finances and futures are so tied together. What happens to one of you affects you both, so you need to be having those discussions together. It works be different if they had an agreement about what percentage of their incomes were theirs to do with as they please and she was donating that, but they don't. That would do major damage to my ability to trust my spouse
Hearing y'all talking about "husking" corn sounded so weird. 😂 I've always heard it referred to as "shucking" corn?
It is def shucking
@@amelianekomimi1936it’s both
@@ally6571 is it? thats crazy! im gonna use both now to fuck with people
The way tipping culture has broken all our brains is so devastating. I’ve had to legit ask myself before I pay “what service am I tipping?” To help me not freak out over choosing not to tip
Story 2: Thithing/collections is no longer required per the scriptures, due to the sacrifice of Jesus Christ (Colossians 2:13-14 & Ephesians 2:13-15).
Tithe is not required for us according to the New Testament, only in the ancient times of the Old Testament. Plus, in Deuteronomy 26:12-15, the tithe was only supposed to be 10% of the harvest, not 40-50% like OP's wife. Lol.
“In the early Christian Church the custom of consecrating to religious purposes a tenth of the income was voluntary, and it was not made obligatory until the Council of Tours in 567.”-Cyclopedia of Biblical, Theological, and, Ecclesiastical Literature, by McClintock and Strong, Volume X, page 436.
[Edit = random typo]
Where does OP live? Because half of her income before tithing may legally belong to him! If she has been lying about how much she makes that is fraud (not very Christian) and she owes him some of that money she spent. I want an update and hope he gets his money back! Also full disclosure: I grew up in a church that thinks tithing is a scam (one of the only good things about my former religion) and donations are voluntary. I'm now atheist and think that if churches are making money off their congregants they should have to pay taxes!
And 50%? This woman is being conned. Period.
My take on the wife giving 50% of her income to the church as someone outside of America and not religious, she has low key been groomed by the church her whole life, she is being exploited. Money has nothing to do with true spirituality and everything thing to do with systems of control and oppression. Someone who does this needs to be told what to do, no self-agency and doesn’t want any, it’s sad honestly.
Yeah, at a certain point, percentage-based tipping is stupid. If I already had to spend a bunch of money on something, what makes you think I’m ready to spend a bunch more just because of the initially high price tag. And even with food service, it’s weird because if I order a single high priced item, the server does the same amount of work to bring me that plate as if I ordered a single cheap item. So it’s not even based on the service it’s based on the product/food itself and that’s completely illogical. Just because steak is more expensive than chicken I should tip more? Huh? I still generally abide by percentages, but I often think it’s stupid while I do it 🤦🏾♂️
Never would have thought SJ was born in the 2000’s!! She is so much more mature and judicious than normal young ppl!
The story about the wife giving 50% of her income. Thats tough, because people view their relationship with god as #1 over their spouse and children. Even if you wanted to make the arguement that she should have considered her partner or children's wellbeing, she believes she will be compensated in heaven. That's a tough one
When we put our house up for sale, someone went through our file cabinet, and I guess took photos of our tax returns and tried to open accounts with our info. We have our credit locked, so they weren't successful, but it was within 2 days of our open house. We removed a lot of things from the house like jewelry, electronics and other high value items, but forgot about papers. I'm glad we found a buyer quickly so we only had 1 open house. It's crazy how many ways people find to scam others.
Tipping culture in America, specifically started after the slaves were freed and white business owners wanted to get away with not paying them, and forcing them to rely on the generosity, or not so generosity of strangers
I’m sorry that outro made me subscribe within seconds, I love you guys
I’m loving the hour plus long videos lately, thank youuuuu
Maybe this is a hot take but I think we are taking in the religious aspect of the situation and not the marital aspect. They are married not dating therefore it is not just her money it is their money. To what Sam was saying it is not fair for her to say she can do what she wants with her money no question because that is a form of financial abuse. I understand religion is important but she is making decisions that effects her entire household and then LYING on top of it. In what world is it ok to lie to your husband about your income. That alone is a huge breach of trust. Whether the husband is religious or not his points are very valid and what she did was wrong. If it wasn’t then why lie in the first place. To me I don’t see both sides at all she is wrong. Not for giving half her income (which is crazy) but for lying to her husband about her income and what she is doing with it. We can’t excuse toxic behavior because we like the reason.
For tattooing they typically don't expect a tip. It's just a nice bonus. I tipped my tattoo artist mostly cause his hand was dying after using the smallest needle on me for 4 hours
I'll never understand America and your tipping culture. I get tipping waiters, but... a tattoo artist?? like, if I had paid 4 THOUSAND DOLARS for a tattoo, I would've never thought I had to leave any sort of tip...
as a dude I also choose the bear. not cuz i fear the man but simply because in the worst case scenario where its an aggressive bear vs an aggressive man there are survival tactics to get away from the bear unharmed (make yourself bigger don't turn your back to it, etc.) vs a dude who my only options are be stronger than them or better in a fight. and in the best case scenario where its a chill ass bear vs a normal dude i'd rather hang out with a docile bear than a boring regular dude.
Edit: searched the lizard story cuz surely no way...truly sick world we live in. they killed and ate it after they did the deed. truly sickening.
As a professional housekeeper, for Story #1, OP is NTA. I work for myself, so I set my own rates which cover supplies, driving, and time. Tips are always appreciated but never expected! I am all for giving food service workers 20% tips but when it comes to more expensive things, like tattoos, I don’t tip based off a percentage.
The way yall really went FULL SERMON ACAPPELLA with Grand Deacon Maddi on the Comfort Level Pulpit 😂😂😂
As someone who grew up somewhat religious and poor, and is now an atheist, I do think it’s a bit ridiculous how much money the wife was giving to the church. That’s a few hundred thousand to the church, are there any results of her labor?? If you’re very into your religion and have the means, I feel like 10% is PLENTY. I really wonder how she got to giving 50%. I feel like once her and husband started getting serious, it is something that should have been brought up bc you are combining lives, and eventually bringing new life into the picture. Their future child could have had a few hundred thousand toward their wellbeing already saved up. I would personally feel lied to if I had married someone and found out they were 1) making TWICE as much as they say and 2) giving that HALF away without telling me anything. I wouldn’t be with someone that religious to begin with bc of the difference in priorities/beliefs, but to each their own.
Im actually really impressed at the way the conversation went around the donating to church as y’all are folks that grew up in the church!
Although this bit about knowing who someone is sleeping with is understandable but you don’t have a right to know WHO your situationship is sleeping with. The only information you’re entitled to is are you being sexually active with another person and are you using protection, that’s it.
The fact that the sife that gives the money to the chruch WAS HIDDING this from op, make me believe that she is the ah
Yeah yeah its her money, BUT THEY ARE MARRIED. Its spectrd that finances are clear and everyones agree with it.
If you are married you 100% need to agree on how money is spent, regardless of how much money each party makes. You are building a family. There is no such thing as your money and their money. It is about communicating, supporting each other and being honest with each other. Maybe this wife shouldn't have gotten married if she wants to frivolously spend her money and negatively impact her entire family.
1:05:20 I seen vids explaining it, it’s soooo disgusting. It was a protected monitor lizard that was GRAPED and then EATEN by those men 😶
Would you consider adding disclaimers before topics of SA or anything like that so your listeners have a chance to skip that topic if they find it unsettling please
As a English woman, I don’t understand USA tipping culture. I understand with regards to servers as their pay is abysmal. I would always tip servers in the USA, but it should be the employer’s responsibility to pay fair wages. I will only tip UK servers if it’s really good service (I used to be a bartender/waitress myself, so I do understand the work associated).
But with a lot of other services, I don’t get it, just charge what you’re worth or employers should charge appropriately. If you’re expecting more money just include it in the price. I’m not adding 20% to everything unless it’s EXCEPTIONAL. I’ll pay for the service and maybe get them a coffee/drink when I come in 🤷🏼♀️
I'm no longer religous, but I cannot wrap my head around that tithing story. Money is a human concept. What does a god need money for? Upkeeping the building? Because if you're truly religious, you should feel just as faithful in an empty lot. Why do they need $90,000 a year? Surely, more good could come from raising your kids to make the world a better place and having the funds to help them achieve that. Isn't that supposed to be the whole point?
I BET you. The wife that writes stories online writes dirty stories and feels guilty and has decided she has to donate 50% to make up for it.
Opens UA-cam first thing pops 🥰✨
Same!🤣🤣🫶🏼
While it might not be required, i try to tip well when i can, especially at places i might return to. Tatoo artist, hair dressers, holiday tips for mail carrier and delivery people. Not only is it a treat for them but you will often find other perks. The hair dresser will work harder to work you into your schedule. Your tattoo artist might low ball your next tatoo price or offer free touch ups in next few years. They will put in more effort because they know they will be rewarded for it.
Abbott elementary rules. I LOVE Ava and I’m obsessed with Mr. Eddy
Ava and Barbara are the best characters i loove them
@@MariemeKane-ei1ru how is Barbara SO PERFECT Lmfaooo she’s prob the most beautiful woman alive
“I’m clocking poverty” SJ is so funny lmdaooo
SJ!!!!! Let’s go! I’m so excited and locked in now
Minnesotan first job at 14, corn detassler here 😆 definitely some baby rizzlers out there in those ears 😂
12:44 SJ is completely right if you are working for yourself, no matter what skill you are doing you set the price and your prices should be a livable wage for you and you should not expect tips. Tipping someone working for someone who doesn’t pay them a livable wage to be begin with is more understandable than tipping their own prices.
For the 2nd story I wonder if she believes in prosperity gospel, and believes that she makes as much money as she does because she gives so much to the church 🤔
I knew I loved SJ but when she mentioned Claire Saffitz omg love her even more. Claire is the GOAT from BA 🙌🏽
SHE’S BACK!!!! 😱😍❤
YEEESSSS SJ EPISODE
God, I love being early to new ep drops
1:04:47 there’s a small town within Houston called West U and it’s the safest place in Houston and I went for a run in the middle of the day when I thought it was safe and I got chased for at least 5 minutes before he caught up to me. When I finally showed him my pepper spray he backed off and said “damn I just wanted to see if you run here often. U could’ve just said leave me alone.”
What did he think I was doing when I was ignoring him for 5 minutes? I even shoo-ed him off before that.
West u cops were kind enough to follow me home after I told them what happened.
Hey girlies! on the note of the girl who was unalived because she didn’t give a guy her number. My trick is I use a textnow number or some other texting app that gives you a number, it’s about $5 a year to lock in your number. I have the number memorized and I give it out to anyone because it doesn’t trace back to me and it’s easy to block people off that number or just get a new one if necessary. I’m not giving my actual number out to creepy dudes there’s a lot of ways to track your activity on that shit. But I’m not refusing my number being given out either cause that’s how you can get assaulted too, so that’s my little safety precaution
The tithe thing needs more info. If she started this before they were married, then she shouldn’t have to stop but it should have been a conversation. I can see being in a place being broke and asking god for help and promising that in return. She could spread it around to other charities maybe.
SJ spitting facts 😌 SJ eps are my favorite
As a women you're not safe walking around by yourself during the day either. Even in crowded places.
My tattoo artist owns his shop and never expects a tip. At my last $300 leg piece appointment I gave him an extra $50 but my max out for a tip is $100 so even if tipping 20% went over $100 that’s still all I’d give. He sets all his prices and wouldn’t accept work he didn’t want to do so it’s not like I’m “taking his time from someone else” if we go a certain number of hours. He knows what he needs to set prices at to break even on supplies and time while also giving himself the wage he wants.
With restaurants I feel 20% at least is important because they don’t know how long you’ll be there and any extra time spent is taking away from the next table of people. A tattoo artist KNOWS how long the service they’re providing will take and can base the pricing per hour. Restaurant servers can’t say “okay that was 2 hours of work so it’s time to go or I’m charging you more for your food”
42:49 ISTG my mind immediately went ‘i was a bad girl’ and then Maddie said it 😭😭
I've NEVER heard of tipping your tattoo artist 😨
For the tithing story, didn’t he already established that she pays more bills because she makes more? He’s wanting to tie up more of her income in other things, even though she’s already doing what she NEEDS to do. Should she have been straight forward? Absolutely. But he literally slept somewhere else over this, that doesn’t seem like an understanding and communicative partner in the first place.
I don’t know if it’s just something none of you have experienced or witnessed but relationships do exist where you are exclusively sleeping with one individual but not BF/GF.
The assumption that she didn’t think he was worth being GF too instead of taking her at face value with her just being happy with how things are and not having the capacity to be a full blown romantic partner irritating on OPs part.
The question I have is: before he asked to change the dynamic, was he sleeping with other women? And was that because of an agreement they had? If he wasn’t, then yes he’s the asshole. If he changed the dynamic of the relationship backwards in response to her not moving it forwards WITHOUT COMMUNICATING, then yes he’s a bit of a dick. I get feeling hurt and it’s super easy to say “I’m single I can do what I want.” But if you’re sexually intimate with someone then they have every right to know if you’re being so with someone else at the same time.
Maybe he never intended on being with first girl again. Or maybe they were never even exclusively hooking up, but I think you missed discussing that possibility
In California, the state government Assumes that you make at least 11% per table. So when someone doesn't tip me, I actually lose money in California.
I threatened this boy that owed me money that I'd take his diploma that way if he didn't pay up. I just caught up to all the episodes I listen to y'all whenever I'm whatever-ing (walking home, on the bus, gym, etc) love y'all from Jersey and thank you for reading my past story. Stay comfortable 😎😝😁
SJ is the best! Such a solid episode!
1:09:35 nta his ex wifes step son is not his responsibility. And it was his money he was putting into the fund.
SPONSORSHIP OKAY
Hi tattoo apprentice here! Our prices are often based on what your skill level is, many start at $50 to $80 an hour at least in my state due to it being a school state. You should be tipping your artist (in my opinion, but even $20 is fantastic to receive), even if you heard of it or not it is heavily discussed in the community most time and I always tip my artist. I think his tip was great! I don’t think it needed to be more and it could be less, but take in mind you are paying often for the hours he did manually, I don’t charge until stencil is on, so I’m not charging you the hours it took me to draw and possibly more hours to make any amount of requests you made to change it, I’m charging for my time and labor there, supplies and skill level. Just because as some of you are saying it is a luxury item, yes it is, for you, but this our job and how we pay our bills
Love your guys videos though and thought you guys discussed the topic great and it’s great to see the view of others
We're supposed to tip tattoo artists!?
Yes! Come to Brazil!🇧🇷
NOT SJ REALIZING WHAT THE R IN R/ STANDS FOR!
I'm actually dead after that.
deceased.
bucket has been fully kicked.
Lets go born in 2000 babies like SJ and me 😂🎉
Hey guys!! I have been following the podcast for a while now. My wife is from Nebraska, and we are moving temporarily to Brazil, my home country. Whenever you decide to visit that beautiful country of mine, it would be my pleasure to show you around.
I saw SJ and RAN to grab my earbuds to watch 🥰🥰
Maddie, no only did they SA they komodo dragon but they ATE IT TOO. 🤮🤮🤮
Queen SJ has returned
SJJJJJJJJ IS BACKKKKKKK 🔥
BRASIL MENTION!!!! COME TO BRASIL!!!!
JK lol Brasil is a wonderful place, you guys would love here!
I always understood that in tipping etiquette- you tip an employee but not an owner.
Heavily tattooed person here. Anything more than $1000 and I don’t tip. I tip more for flat rate pieces because they are usually discounted. $200 for $4,000 is so generous
Me, having a literal abstract watercolor tattoo on my arm, as someone says that "abstract watercolor" is what makes a tattoo horrible....
I feel like if the 50% tithe one was switched and it was the husband trying to shut down the conversation by telling the wife that it's not her money, we'd all call him an AH.
Someone clue me in: why is that specific back phoenix horrible? I really like the colors and boldness of it.
In relation to the wife giving half her money away: to prioritize your church over the happiness and well being of your own family is not only irresponsible but void of what true faith in God's love means. If she wanted to be right with god she give money to organizations that actually do things to help others, or she could volunteer to feed the homeless and other stuff like that. A good and loving god would rather you spend money on those you love than you trying to buy gods love
S TO THE J !!!
“Guys we getting the band back together” vibes
belgium mentioned 😱🎉
That 50% thing is so weird because if I felt that God wanted me to give that much monthly l, I wouldn't just give it to one place. I'd take the 40% and directly help the less fortune. I'd try to fund a non profit or something.
I was thinking the same thing. If I was the husband I would want to have a more in-depth conversation about what she believes tithing is. In the New Testament, believers are called to tithed 10% of their whole being - earnings/harvest, time, talents, gifts. So it doesn't necessarily have to be 50% of her actual money if she really is feeling called. She can host free workshops for other inspiring writers so they can also generate a great income like her or tutor kids in writing/language arts in addition to giving the church 10%.
In my early 20s when I was in grad school and only working part-time, I couldn't afford to give 10% of my checks to the church so I started a free tutoring, homework help program at the church. I was blessed so much from that as all my bills were paid, and my kids were doing great. But again, the principals of giving and tithing were taught to me in depth and not just a general "give the church money or else". I liked how they discussed the topic thought. It voiced their skepticism while also respecting that she may have a very intimate covenant with her God.
So what’s the deal is SJ a new nickname she’s trying because she was originally introduced as Sadia and Maddy still calls her Sadia
Realtors need licenses and have brokers not just anyone can pose for a realtor that op needs to tell their agent
Comfort level tour in Brazil??
I live for the teddy fresh tee!!
21:07 dang I think this tattoo artist has a thing for the client! "Are they dating?"
I understand tips for servers/bartenders bc the hourly wage is so low but I wish other industries would just set their prices what they want to be paid. I hate having to tip for hair services/nails/etc. like I’d rather just pay more and not have to worry about that.