On the comment about the skin tone thing, this is such a weird nuance with Hispanic communities. If you’re too pale, you “don’t qualify” but if you’re too dark they will make jokes about calling you “dirty”. It’s like you gotta be a perfect middle ground. It’s wild because siblings from the same two parents can be a complete range
YES. My mom once told me she wants "nietos gueros" 😐 when she told me that i was baffled and she always tries to call my siblings and i "inditas" bc we didn't get my dads colored eyes and we're dark. It makes me so mad because my grandma, HER MOM, is a dark indigenous Mexican woman. The fucking disrespect.
my grandpa was the darkest of his siblings they’d joke he was adopted and came from nigera?😭he wasn’t even that dark tbh but idk I’m just one of the white grandchildren so idk shit 😭
The guy from the first story just hates his wife for being pregnant and having a baby. "We don't have that spark" SHE. GAVE. BIRTH. And had to raise a baby on her own because he was cheating and trying to divorce her. Her body and hormones changed and she's probably exhausted from basically single parenting. Poor woman, she deserves better. At least he recognises she deserves better, but he should leave so she has the chance for better.
22:43 Hispanic/Latino is not a race, its an ethnicity, you can be any race and be Latino. In Latino countires, looking or being white is the beauty standard. As a Mexican American, I have noticed that Americans of Latino descent feel like they need to "look" stereotypically Latino (most peoplel in the US associate being Latino with being brown and mixed race) to validate thier identity/Latino-ness. Ironically many people in Mexico will flex looking white but get super offended if you call them white and talk about how they have indigenous blood.
I just have a question how u say Latino is an ethnicity not a race so is it also like how Asian is an ethnicity but their races are like Chinese Korean and more ykno? Just tryna understand I wanna know if I thought of it correctly ykno
@@JosefinaQB Asian is a race. Chinese, Korean etc are ethnicities. There are five recognized races (as far as the US is concerned) White, Black, Native American/Alaska Native, Asian, and Native Hawaiian/Other Pacific Islander. Race is how you present, while Ethnicity means you come from a shared subgroup of similar culture. Latino generally means you were born within / rooted within a Latin country. For example, you can be Black (a race, meaning you phenotypically present as Black) and Latino (an ethnic background/ coming from a Latin country. This would make your ethnicity Afro-Latino. But your race is Black. Hope that helps a bit!
@@JosefinaQB idk if you’ve ever had ti fill out documents before where they ask “are you Hispanic/latino?” and then the next question is “what is your race?” I honestly feel like if I hadn’t been a white Latina my whole life I wouldn’t know either about the race ethnicity thing because I’ve noticed most people don’t know about it. I’ll have other Latinos congratulating me on my Spanish all the time and I’m like thanks, it’s my first language 😆
@@JosefinaQB Race is also a social construct not an official scientific categorization thats recognized by them. The concept was created in the mid-17th century to promote hate (enter stereotypes here) and strip people from their individual ethnic identities. It’s been around for so long that now it’s normal to use race as an official identifier in government forms and what not. Our main social issues (I can only speak for the US and Haiti, as I’m Haitian American) in my opinion stem from colorism, featurism, and xenophobia. However, that can be a mouth full. We are also not evolved enough to open ourselves to such a topic that dynamic so we op for simplifications in life (for now anyways, it all could change).
I got into an argument with my ex best friend about my cousin being white. We’re Mexican American but she insisted he was white passing and not white. Shes mixed (Black and Korean) and didn’t want to “discount” his experience. Which, I don’t think calling him white would. He has blond hair and blue eyes and anyone would treat him as such. It makes me upset now that ppl don’t know the difference between race and ethnicity cuz like what does a Latino person look like? Latino in itself is an American term. No one in the motherland actually calls us that. Latinos can be everything under the sun expect not Latinos. It’s cultural not racial.
Thank you to Yvonne for sharing her story. I've also been in an emotionally abusive relationship and it's hard! So happy she's in a better place, able to smile and laugh so beautifully, and still choosing to love and be kind. Amazing ❤
29:10 Something I came across in my sociology classes was the idea of a “desirable whole.” And basically it’s like a Mr. potato head theory; white people have a desirable whole, so they have the privilege to explore different features without inherent loss of value. They can get braids, darker skin, plumper lips, a bigger butt. Because these things are desirable *pieces* added to a desirable whole. People of color, on the other hand, are an undesirable whole with desirable pieces. Hence, my comparison to a Mr. Potato head.
I'm half black, white passing, and people have always fawned over my skin and my black facial features, without even recognising that I'm black! It's this twisted combination of racism, fetishism, othering and appropriation. I also feel Maddy, because my mum and grandma really struggled with their weight and relationship with food, and inadvertently passed that on to me by complimenting how skinny I was. They thought they were being positive, but it made me paranoid. And now I've put on weight, and look more like them, and now my grandma can't help mentioning "that outfit makes you look slim" or "you look good. Have you lost weight?" As if I care 😂 Mum was doing it, but I was able to talk to her about not doing that because it is not helpful.
this happened to me the other day, I saw my mom for the first time in three months this weekend and she commented on how slim my face looked and asked if I lost weight. I'm now self conscious about my face "puffiness" :
i relate to the "passed down insecurities" thing. a lot of my insecurities stem from my family projecting their insecurities onto me. for example, since I was very young I have always gotten comments about my weight because my mom and sisters are insecure about their own weight, especially after having kids. im 5'4" and have never been over 125lbs so it's not like it was coming from a place of concern or anything. it's also so eye opening to confide in other people about my insecurities and realize that those things are not something EVERYONE thinks about me, just my family passing it down. such a weird phenomenon !!
Seriously. Who cares? Mess up EVERY single relationship after that to save all of them. Screw him and people like him. He needs therapy, unless he's a narcissist. You can't save narcissists. They shouldn't EVER be with anyone.
I think his name is Sam and I can’t stand him most of the time honestly… he has the worst opinions, always tries to play “ devils advocate” or no reason other than I think it makes him feel smarter, and he just isn’t that likeable.
Story 2: My bets about the sister's unusual "reverse colorism" are 1- they are latinas in a non-latino country, so being proud of her tanned skin is a way of asserting her identity; 2- she has been compared to her sister in a traditional colorist way, making her feel less valued, and her answer was lashing out against her sister and her paleness. Also: colorism in latinoamerica is due to racism and eugenics. Brown and black latines are brown/black because we have more indigenous and/or african ancestry. White latines are white because they have more european ancestry, and if you are a blanca person but have tanned skin, or a broad nose, or closed curls that shows that your genealogy has a lot of race mixing. The way this is tied to class and elitism is because race mixing, in latinoamerica, happens much more in the working class (where poor whites live side by side with brown and black people) than in the elites and the ruling class (because laws, culture and contacts keep black and brown people poor).
Also: sometimes kid's perceptions are weird and often exagerated. The other day my 5-year old godson called me white (he's dark skinned black, I'm light skinned black). When I was 5 I never painted people's faces, cause it made dificult to see their features, so everybody in my drawinga had white faces.
To the comforter. 48:03 No, you’re not the asshole. No. If I had the ability to warn my abuser’s partners right after we broke up, I would have. Now? Eh. Maybe he changed. Who knows. But someone he dated while/right after I left him. I’d warn, because I left him because of the abuse. I don’t think it cares why you did it. For stalking the girlfriend a bit tho, yeah kinda. I woulda DMed her on insta when I saw the anniversary post. There are bits that are strange in this story, but overall I think you helped the girl dodge a major bullet. Your ex needed to grow up a bit before he hurt someone. And now he is with someone, and we can hope he treats her well. But overall you helped the both of them I guess because if you hadn’t broken them up he potentially wouldn’t have met his new partner. I dont know. Definitely a silver lining kinda situation I feel
As a white skinned Latina, I completely understand the desire to be darker and to "look the part" I guess. I grew up in a city in NJ where Blacks and Hispanics are the majority in fact there were no white people in my HS graduating class. I wanted to have brown skin so badly and hated when family or friends called out my "white skin."
I totally understand this, my fiancé is white and I've had his family question if I'm actually Hispanic until they m saw photos of my other family members who have more olive skin, even though I speak Spanish. Half of us are dark, half of us have blonde/red hair naturally, some have blue eyes. In Spain they love lighter skin, and even in Mexico. They wouldn't let me go to Mexico when I was living in south Texas because they didn't want anybody trying to kidnap me 😂 it's so crazy the obsession over skin color. I used to get spray tans when I worked at a tanning salon, and I loved it in the summer. Now, as a mom and pregnant again, not so much lol
im listening to yall while i pack up my dorm room. its my last week of my first year of grad school and yall have got me through it every tuesday! thank you!
I am gonna leave my 2 cents as a Native American/Nicaraguan. Sadly there is still a lot of colorism in Latin American communities due to the fact that when Spain colonized us, having Indigenous blood was seen as dirty and it still is looked down upon. Latinos who have more Indigenous blood tend to be darker while other Latinos who are paler either just ended up pale or have more Spaniard blood rather than Indigenous. 28:21 her daughter isn’t “Caucasian”, she is White racially but her ethnicity is still Latina (from whichever country they come from). Majority of “Americans” aren’t “Caucasian” they are simply White racially and ethnically European. “Caucasian” is an ethnicity that is often misused to describe white/Europeans/European-Americans because that term actually means people from the Caucasus Mountains which is between Asia and Europe.
WHOOP WHOOP THANKS FOR BIG 50 YALL! THE HAT IS IN MY POSSESSION 😭😭😭😭😭 COUNT YOUR DAYS SAM! The cousinhood of the traveling hat saga will continue 😡😈 the hat loves to travel...
^^ This, most likely scenario. TW: su*cide I have had it happen to a friend where a former partner did choose *sui after she left, but even if that occurs, we STILL aren't responsible for OTHER people's actions. I've had it threatened before and he didn't follow through since he wasn't being sincere. IF he had, still wouldn't be on me. I have a duty to keep myself and my pets safe, and that doesn't involve staying in an abusive partnership. It's so sad and awful, but we can only be responsible for what we do, not what others do.
Ok I'm a librarian and huge book lover so I'm HERE for the book talk! I need to know what book Sam read and the one Brandon was talking about! Half of my UA-cam consumption is book related and I get excited when my favorite non-book channels talk about what they're reading!
I’ve been watching from the beginning and you guys quickly became my favorite podcast. Thank you your wholesome family energy gives me happiness regardless of what I’m going through.
36:58 It’s the prince family. Correct me if I’m wrong She was disappointed bc her daughter had brown eyes. She said something to the effect of “ I thought she was going to have pretty eyes.” Right after her daughter was placed on her chest after birth. That family is so wild. SMH
So about the door climbing - my friend’s niece does that. She told us casually over breakfast and everyone at the table had the same reaction y’all did. None of us believed her until she showed us a video. She climbs doors, rails, and walls with pictures like it’s an endless rock climbing wall. Kids have NO FEAR. Lol
I have been listening to your back log having only found the podcast a couple of months ago. You guys have kept me company as I have been landscaping my yard and you’ve been really useful cos the yard is really coming together 😜 I’ve had to take a break cos I’ve got a health issue but I still clicked right away and listening makes me want to get outside! Love Madi’s sense of humour 😄
So happy for you guys reaching 50k subs. This has easily become one of my favourite pods and one I look forward to every week. I love all the jokes and and the banter and feel like im there with you guys when im laughing along in the car. Keep it up guys - you always make my day ❤ ❤ ❤
Just want to say I watch you guys no matter what I’m doing, in the car, at home, on the toilet, and as of now before bed ❤😂 I enjoy it so much cause we all have very similar values, you guys can tell y’all are genuine WE LOVE THAT! keep doing what your doing!
I'm a housekeeper, I'm usually working in an empty house, and Comfort Level Pod is one of my favorite things to listen to. Since I mainly work alone, I don't have any work friends, so you guys are my work friends and watercooler gossip lol! I look forward to every episode, thank you guys for your hard work!
I've been kinda down lately and struggling with motivation especially in the mornings getting up for work and stuff and this podcast is so helpful with getting me in a better mood and I listen to it as I'm waking up, doing my morning routine, and on my car ride to work. It's so helpful.
No joke when they said 50k subscribers (which is already so many congratulations!!) I thought there were so many more so I had to stop what I was doing and check. This podcast is so good and has become part of my routine now, and I wouldn’t have been surprised if if had been 500k.
First story, fellow Erin to Erin the wife; you deserve better. That man is trash and an abusive PoS. I hope she realizes she needs to leave and heal one day.
For the second story, I dont know where they're from but I know, for Puerto Ricans, that topic comes up a lot. I have a very mixed family. My grandfather on my dad's side is Jamaican, my parents are Puerto Rican, and the rest of my family is Puerto Rican with African and Native descent. I am mixed and growing up, I was always considered brown. When I moved to the U.S., I got very light and am white passing. Many people, including in my own family, made fun of me for this and many people completely erase my culture from my identity when they consider me white. So, it has become an insecurity of mine that pops up every now and then BUT I would never handle it like that. Comparing beauty and putting this insecurity on my child, that is very sad. I handle it just by being loud and proud of my background and my culture because I love my island, my people, and my family. So, even though I can see where it stems from, the way she handled it is 100% not right and really sad for her kid and her sister growing up.
MADDIE!!!! You’re not alone, I used to record shows on my voice recorder too!! It was my bestie on road trips LMAO…nothing was worse than my parents walking in and talking while I was in the middle of recording an episode of The Suite Life of Zach and Cody!
I never comment but same! I begged my parents to get a cassette recorder for "a school project" just so I could sit next to the radio and wait to record my favorite songs! (This was when CDs were already a thing we ended up at multiple stores😂😅)
11:47 you joke but I would full on watch videos of you three talking about big brother, love is blind, bachelor, etc and see Sam cook! When Sam and sj (I think) were cooking in the back of that one episode I was so focused on what they were doing I had to keep rewinding to listen to the story 😭😂
@Sam - dude, I'm the same age as you, and our twin girls were about 1 when the pandemic started. They just turned 5. And it's all not only a blur, but like.....God does it just NOT feel like it's been 4 years. I'm officially in my mid-30s when I was just 30 when this started. Time is a weird soup.
My verdict on the “sabotage” story: NOT THE ASSHOLE Y’all discussed the intent and process well, but nobody mentioned how much we could hear the OP taking on responsibility for her ex’s actions. A common result of emotional abuse. I agree the process is weird, they admitted to stalking this person, that’s bad don’t do that, but that’s not what the question was about. OP is not the asshole for telling “the other person” the truth about the ex/current partner to them. Wanting to hurt him emotionally can just also be true with the fact that they wanted to warn the other person, I think it’s reasonable to say these two things can exist at once. The obsession with what their ex is up to is something OP can/should/please work out in therapy
Yeah, I think the intent does not matter. OP would only be the a-hole in my opinion if they did get back with the ex. OP also admitted that she kinda started to like her as a person
I dont think the dog being put "on the run" is referring to an actual dog run, I think it's just a phrase referring to the dog spooking and running out of usual bounds.
I listen to yall for everything this morning i listened while i got ready for work (celery episode) then on my drive it was the (legal stealing good/bad cop episode) then now at work this episode
i’m mestiza, a latina with both spanish and indigenous ancestry. i was talked down on for being darker all my life. it isn’t until recently that i hardly go outdoors because i do full time work indoors- im lighter now and people compliment my skin color all the time now. it’s crazy to me that it’s the opposite for white latinos.
Wyze can be set to activate for sound or motion. You can also talk through them. We use it for our dogs but it could scare someone away if they can't find the camera.
Door crawler! Definitely used to crawl up the door frame and narrow hallways ALL the time when I was little. To my mother’s utter horror and embarrassment, my sibling and I called it “roach feet”. 😬 Our house wasn’t gross, we just lived in the country
49:28 Yeah I understand being hurt and what happened, but imagine stalking someone else completely and putting in so much effort to do this. She was even trying to avoid him, but she revealed herself anyway especially as the ex? So what was the secretive or stalking for?
I love my wyze cams, they are always on sale. You can get them super cheap right now especially because they’re about to launch a new version so they are doing lots of promotions on older models. I don’t have any complaints about this sensitivity or motion detection.
i’m a very pale white girl and basically other white ppl make fun of u for being pale and talk about it. it made me feel weird and uncomfortable with my skin as a kid, but thankfully i have a wonderful mom who would show me old portraits of pale women to show how beautiful it is. being pale as a white person was definitely not experiencing racism in any way not even close to that. that mom is messed up for acting like that towards her daughter she should love her daughter no matter what she looks like
As a black person who reads a ton of cnovels (where like very pale, white as snow skin in the main beauty standard), it’s so weird hearing how it’s somehow dissed upon enough that you’ve been made to feel so horrid over it lol. Like genuinely it’s hard to wrap my head around ppl somehow not liking or desiring pale skin haha, glad you’re mom was able to help you ignore the comments tho.
On the 3rd story, did OP say she wanted to reach out again to her ex? I thought she said she wasn’t interested in reaching out since it was 4 years ago, he’s engaged to a new girl and OP has moved on but just wanted to know if she was an asshole for doing what she did. I heard everyone talk about how she shouldn’t reach out, it’s never a good idea to go back to an ex, for her to move on, etc. Did I misheard?
33:44 omg totallyyyy. my mom always commented on her ankles and legs and how much she doesn't like them (? and without noticing im always insecure about mine or wondering if they look "right"😅 its crazy how little comments can impact you as a kid
On horror books... I started reading IT in 2019. I still haven't finished it because of how frequently my heart rate and anxiety would soar while reading it. (I have seen the movies, the books are so much more terrifying).
the story around 1:21:00 sounds like someone is on and off living in the house w/o their knowledge. like especially if it was someone involved in some of the reno work, they would know areas where they could go to be undetected whenever the family is actually home. the dogs over time would be used to this person, too. i would be checking the whole house and keeping tabs on food, seeing if bills were higher than anticipated (more water being used, etc)
51:19 before I hear the rest of the responses while I agree yes it was weird she followed this girl on things but she didn’t find out about the overlap and when she did she started looking for ways to tell her without revealing her identity. I think while yes I see sams point I also think her saying something in the beginning could have put her in the crazy ex box which not saying she doesn’t a little belong there. But I think her following the girls socials was her way of making sure she was safe like if she’s active and seems happy maybe it’s not happening to her but then she found the overlap of it and went into panic mode
The 1st story had me like...bro. you're mad because your affair partner didn't want you after a certain point. (She probably woke up to the fact that he's a terrible person.) And then turned around to punish the person who TOOK YOU BACK. Erin, sweetie. If you see this, leave that loser alone as you should've did when he went galavanting with some random woman. There's nothing wrong with you so close up shop and never let him touch you again. This is part of the reason I'll never get married.
Historically, a lot of lung issues were treated by shoving someone out in the freezing cold. For example, tuberculosis was treated in sanitariums using this method. They called it open air treatment
On the comment about the skin tone thing, this is such a weird nuance with Hispanic communities. If you’re too pale, you “don’t qualify” but if you’re too dark they will make jokes about calling you “dirty”. It’s like you gotta be a perfect middle ground. It’s wild because siblings from the same two parents can be a complete range
Yup, the way people try to act like I’m not Guatemalan because I look white like wtf how do you not know we don’t all look like a stereotype.
Not me being dominican looking at my dark skin mom; 😮 why am I like this? Am I adopted? You can tell me the truth. And my mom: mira niño te voy a dar
⭐colorism⭐
YES. My mom once told me she wants "nietos gueros" 😐 when she told me that i was baffled and she always tries to call my siblings and i "inditas" bc we didn't get my dads colored eyes and we're dark. It makes me so mad because my grandma, HER MOM, is a dark indigenous Mexican woman. The fucking disrespect.
my grandpa was the darkest of his siblings they’d joke he was adopted and came from nigera?😭he wasn’t even that dark tbh but idk I’m just one of the white grandchildren so idk shit 😭
The guy from the first story just hates his wife for being pregnant and having a baby.
"We don't have that spark"
SHE. GAVE. BIRTH.
And had to raise a baby on her own because he was cheating and trying to divorce her. Her body and hormones changed and she's probably exhausted from basically single parenting. Poor woman, she deserves better.
At least he recognises she deserves better, but he should leave so she has the chance for better.
22:43 Hispanic/Latino is not a race, its an ethnicity, you can be any race and be Latino. In Latino countires, looking or being white is the beauty standard. As a Mexican American, I have noticed that Americans of Latino descent feel like they need to "look" stereotypically Latino (most peoplel in the US associate being Latino with being brown and mixed race) to validate thier identity/Latino-ness. Ironically many people in Mexico will flex looking white but get super offended if you call them white and talk about how they have indigenous blood.
I just have a question how u say Latino is an ethnicity not a race so is it also like how Asian is an ethnicity but their races are like Chinese Korean and more ykno? Just tryna understand I wanna know if I thought of it correctly ykno
@@JosefinaQB Asian is a race. Chinese, Korean etc are ethnicities. There are five recognized races (as far as the US is concerned) White, Black, Native American/Alaska Native, Asian, and Native Hawaiian/Other Pacific Islander.
Race is how you present, while Ethnicity means you come from a shared subgroup of similar culture. Latino generally means you were born within / rooted within a Latin country.
For example, you can be Black (a race, meaning you phenotypically present as Black) and Latino (an ethnic background/ coming from a Latin country. This would make your ethnicity Afro-Latino. But your race is Black.
Hope that helps a bit!
@@JosefinaQB idk if you’ve ever had ti fill out documents before where they ask “are you Hispanic/latino?” and then the next question is “what is your race?” I honestly feel like if I hadn’t been a white Latina my whole life I wouldn’t know either about the race ethnicity thing because I’ve noticed most people don’t know about it. I’ll have other Latinos congratulating me on my Spanish all the time and I’m like thanks, it’s my first language 😆
@@JosefinaQB Race is also a social construct not an official scientific categorization thats recognized by them. The concept was created in the mid-17th century to promote hate (enter stereotypes here) and strip people from their individual ethnic identities. It’s been around for so long that now it’s normal to use race as an official identifier in government forms and what not. Our main social issues (I can only speak for the US and Haiti, as I’m Haitian American) in my opinion stem from colorism, featurism, and xenophobia. However, that can be a mouth full. We are also not evolved enough to open ourselves to such a topic that dynamic so we op for simplifications in life (for now anyways, it all could change).
I got into an argument with my ex best friend about my cousin being white. We’re Mexican American but she insisted he was white passing and not white. Shes mixed (Black and Korean) and didn’t want to “discount” his experience. Which, I don’t think calling him white would. He has blond hair and blue eyes and anyone would treat him as such. It makes me upset now that ppl don’t know the difference between race and ethnicity cuz like what does a Latino person look like? Latino in itself is an American term. No one in the motherland actually calls us that. Latinos can be everything under the sun expect not Latinos. It’s cultural not racial.
Thank you to Yvonne for sharing her story. I've also been in an emotionally abusive relationship and it's hard! So happy she's in a better place, able to smile and laugh so beautifully, and still choosing to love and be kind. Amazing ❤
29:10 Something I came across in my sociology classes was the idea of a “desirable whole.” And basically it’s like a Mr. potato head theory; white people have a desirable whole, so they have the privilege to explore different features without inherent loss of value. They can get braids, darker skin, plumper lips, a bigger butt. Because these things are desirable *pieces* added to a desirable whole. People of color, on the other hand, are an undesirable whole with desirable pieces. Hence, my comparison to a Mr. Potato head.
thanks for my new rabbit hole of research!
@@2ccBrando welcome to the bottomless pit, friend. There’s a lot of stuff on it 😎
I have been wondering if there was a name for this -thank you!
I actually had to recheck if I had clicked on a Christmas episode 😅
Y'all are hilarious
I'm half black, white passing, and people have always fawned over my skin and my black facial features, without even recognising that I'm black! It's this twisted combination of racism, fetishism, othering and appropriation.
I also feel Maddy, because my mum and grandma really struggled with their weight and relationship with food, and inadvertently passed that on to me by complimenting how skinny I was. They thought they were being positive, but it made me paranoid. And now I've put on weight, and look more like them, and now my grandma can't help mentioning "that outfit makes you look slim" or "you look good. Have you lost weight?"
As if I care 😂
Mum was doing it, but I was able to talk to her about not doing that because it is not helpful.
this happened to me the other day, I saw my mom for the first time in three months this weekend and she commented on how slim my face looked and asked if I lost weight. I'm now self conscious about my face "puffiness" :
i relate to the "passed down insecurities" thing. a lot of my insecurities stem from my family projecting their insecurities onto me. for example, since I was very young I have always gotten comments about my weight because my mom and sisters are insecure about their own weight, especially after having kids. im 5'4" and have never been over 125lbs so it's not like it was coming from a place of concern or anything. it's also so eye opening to confide in other people about my insecurities and realize that those things are not something EVERYONE thinks about me, just my family passing it down. such a weird phenomenon !!
i don't think op's intent in telling the other girl matters. she still saved the girl from potentially being abused.
Seriously. Who cares? Mess up EVERY single relationship after that to save all of them.
Screw him and people like him. He needs therapy, unless he's a narcissist. You can't save narcissists. They shouldn't EVER be with anyone.
I think his name is Sam and I can’t stand him most of the time honestly… he has the worst opinions, always tries to play “ devils advocate” or no reason other than I think it makes him feel smarter, and he just isn’t that likeable.
Story 2: My bets about the sister's unusual "reverse colorism" are 1- they are latinas in a non-latino country, so being proud of her tanned skin is a way of asserting her identity; 2- she has been compared to her sister in a traditional colorist way, making her feel less valued, and her answer was lashing out against her sister and her paleness.
Also: colorism in latinoamerica is due to racism and eugenics. Brown and black latines are brown/black because we have more indigenous and/or african ancestry. White latines are white because they have more european ancestry, and if you are a blanca person but have tanned skin, or a broad nose, or closed curls that shows that your genealogy has a lot of race mixing. The way this is tied to class and elitism is because race mixing, in latinoamerica, happens much more in the working class (where poor whites live side by side with brown and black people) than in the elites and the ruling class (because laws, culture and contacts keep black and brown people poor).
Also: sometimes kid's perceptions are weird and often exagerated. The other day my 5-year old godson called me white (he's dark skinned black, I'm light skinned black).
When I was 5 I never painted people's faces, cause it made dificult to see their features, so everybody in my drawinga had white faces.
Madi: “That’s interesting”
Sam: “Tell your face that”
😭😭😭 Sam with the hard roasts
To the comforter. 48:03 No, you’re not the asshole. No. If I had the ability to warn my abuser’s partners right after we broke up, I would have. Now? Eh. Maybe he changed. Who knows. But someone he dated while/right after I left him. I’d warn, because I left him because of the abuse.
I don’t think it cares why you did it. For stalking the girlfriend a bit tho, yeah kinda. I woulda DMed her on insta when I saw the anniversary post. There are bits that are strange in this story, but overall I think you helped the girl dodge a major bullet.
Your ex needed to grow up a bit before he hurt someone. And now he is with someone, and we can hope he treats her well. But overall you helped the both of them I guess because if you hadn’t broken them up he potentially wouldn’t have met his new partner.
I dont know. Definitely a silver lining kinda situation I feel
As a white skinned Latina, I completely understand the desire to be darker and to "look the part" I guess. I grew up in a city in NJ where Blacks and Hispanics are the majority in fact there were no white people in my HS graduating class. I wanted to have brown skin so badly and hated when family or friends called out my "white skin."
Saying "blacks" in 2024 is wildly antiblack... like especially from a nonblack Latino who is white 😬
I totally understand this, my fiancé is white and I've had his family question if I'm actually Hispanic until they m saw photos of my other family members who have more olive skin, even though I speak Spanish. Half of us are dark, half of us have blonde/red hair naturally, some have blue eyes. In Spain they love lighter skin, and even in Mexico. They wouldn't let me go to Mexico when I was living in south Texas because they didn't want anybody trying to kidnap me 😂 it's so crazy the obsession over skin color. I used to get spray tans when I worked at a tanning salon, and I loved it in the summer. Now, as a mom and pregnant again, not so much lol
im listening to yall while i pack up my dorm room. its my last week of my first year of grad school and yall have got me through it every tuesday! thank you!
Congrats on getting through the first year!
Over 50k!!! Congratulations! I watch every episode. Love you all! 💜
I am gonna leave my 2 cents as a Native American/Nicaraguan. Sadly there is still a lot of colorism in Latin American communities due to the fact that when Spain colonized us, having Indigenous blood was seen as dirty and it still is looked down upon. Latinos who have more Indigenous blood tend to be darker while other Latinos who are paler either just ended up pale or have more Spaniard blood rather than Indigenous.
28:21 her daughter isn’t “Caucasian”, she is White racially but her ethnicity is still Latina (from whichever country they come from). Majority of “Americans” aren’t “Caucasian” they are simply White racially and ethnically European. “Caucasian” is an ethnicity that is often misused to describe white/Europeans/European-Americans because that term actually means people from the Caucasus Mountains which is between Asia and Europe.
Okay, that hat trick!!!!!! *chef’s kiss* AMAZING!!!!
WHOOP WHOOP THANKS FOR BIG 50 YALL! THE HAT IS IN MY POSSESSION 😭😭😭😭😭 COUNT YOUR DAYS SAM! The cousinhood of the traveling hat saga will continue 😡😈 the hat loves to travel...
Oh- oh my goodness..
55:19 I've had five ex's say that they're going to self exit if I left them. None of them did and none of them will it's just a tactic
^^ This, most likely scenario.
TW: su*cide
I have had it happen to a friend where a former partner did choose *sui after she left, but even if that occurs, we STILL aren't responsible for OTHER people's actions. I've had it threatened before and he didn't follow through since he wasn't being sincere.
IF he had, still wouldn't be on me. I have a duty to keep myself and my pets safe, and that doesn't involve staying in an abusive partnership. It's so sad and awful, but we can only be responsible for what we do, not what others do.
@@PenelopeAstonyExactly! I really hope your friend isn’t burdened by guilt over what happened.
Ok I'm a librarian and huge book lover so I'm HERE for the book talk! I need to know what book Sam read and the one Brandon was talking about! Half of my UA-cam consumption is book related and I get excited when my favorite non-book channels talk about what they're reading!
maddy voice recording an entire episode might be an original experience 😂😂
I’ve been watching from the beginning and you guys quickly became my favorite podcast. Thank you your wholesome family energy gives me happiness regardless of what I’m going through.
36:58 It’s the prince family. Correct me if I’m wrong She was disappointed bc her daughter had brown eyes. She said something to the effect of “ I thought she was going to have pretty eyes.” Right after her daughter was placed on her chest after birth. That family is so wild. SMH
You’re correct! I came to say the exact same thing .. and 100% they’re a MESS
So I just happen to find this podcast on a whim and now I’m hooked. Love the interactions you all have
So about the door climbing - my friend’s niece does that. She told us casually over breakfast and everyone at the table had the same reaction y’all did. None of us believed her until she showed us a video. She climbs doors, rails, and walls with pictures like it’s an endless rock climbing wall. Kids have NO FEAR. Lol
I have been listening to your back log having only found the podcast a couple of months ago. You guys have kept me company as I have been landscaping my yard and you’ve been really useful cos the yard is really coming together 😜 I’ve had to take a break cos I’ve got a health issue but I still clicked right away and listening makes me want to get outside! Love Madi’s sense of humour 😄
Yall came in clutch for my last hour of work
So happy for you guys reaching 50k subs. This has easily become one of my favourite pods and one I look forward to every week. I love all the jokes and and the banter and feel like im there with you guys when im laughing along in the car. Keep it up guys - you always make my day ❤ ❤ ❤
Yall are the best!!! I love listening to yall
Making SAHM easier!
Just want to say I watch you guys no matter what I’m doing, in the car, at home, on the toilet, and as of now before bed ❤😂 I enjoy it so much cause we all have very similar values, you guys can tell y’all are genuine WE LOVE THAT! keep doing what your doing!
I'm a housekeeper, I'm usually working in an empty house, and Comfort Level Pod is one of my favorite things to listen to. Since I mainly work alone, I don't have any work friends, so you guys are my work friends and watercooler gossip lol! I look forward to every episode, thank you guys for your hard work!
I've been kinda down lately and struggling with motivation especially in the mornings getting up for work and stuff and this podcast is so helpful with getting me in a better mood and I listen to it as I'm waking up, doing my morning routine, and on my car ride to work. It's so helpful.
I live and breathe for the longer episodes, pls keep it up! ❤
Maddie with the wang indention had me 💀💀 omgosh I was laughing so hard. I’ve been in that sitch and it is hard to not look at lmao
No joke when they said 50k subscribers (which is already so many congratulations!!) I thought there were so many more so I had to stop what I was doing and check. This podcast is so good and has become part of my routine now, and I wouldn’t have been surprised if if had been 500k.
Yall make work so much better. This has become my comfort podcast.
10:14 I listen to this podcast while I’m doing homework, I’m an art major in college. Congrats on 50k!
34:16 this is how my mom accidentally made me hate my bigger body and my natural, coily hair for years, it took me years to undo all that shit
First story, fellow Erin to Erin the wife; you deserve better. That man is trash and an abusive PoS. I hope she realizes she needs to leave and heal one day.
For the second story, I dont know where they're from but I know, for Puerto Ricans, that topic comes up a lot. I have a very mixed family. My grandfather on my dad's side is Jamaican, my parents are Puerto Rican, and the rest of my family is Puerto Rican with African and Native descent. I am mixed and growing up, I was always considered brown. When I moved to the U.S., I got very light and am white passing. Many people, including in my own family, made fun of me for this and many people completely erase my culture from my identity when they consider me white. So, it has become an insecurity of mine that pops up every now and then BUT I would never handle it like that. Comparing beauty and putting this insecurity on my child, that is very sad. I handle it just by being loud and proud of my background and my culture because I love my island, my people, and my family. So, even though I can see where it stems from, the way she handled it is 100% not right and really sad for her kid and her sister growing up.
I wonder why the spark was lost during the first story 🙄😒 (sarcasm implied)
Let the girl go, you don’t deserve her
watching this seeing u reached 50k just a couple hours after this was uploaded 🎉 congrats yall!
I’m glad I’m not the only one that puts you guys on to sleep!
Congratulations on 50K🥳 you guys deserve it 🎉
MADDIE!!!! You’re not alone, I used to record shows on my voice recorder too!! It was my bestie on road trips LMAO…nothing was worse than my parents walking in and talking while I was in the middle of recording an episode of The Suite Life of Zach and Cody!
Currently listening to you guys at work. I just really love your podcast.
I never comment but same! I begged my parents to get a cassette recorder for "a school project" just so I could sit next to the radio and wait to record my favorite songs! (This was when CDs were already a thing we ended up at multiple stores😂😅)
I cackled when I realized it was the hat that came out of the gift!
I just found your channel. Came for the stories, staying for the impromptu musical numbers 😅
I tell my mom all the time that some of my worst memories were just “Tuesday” to her, please watch what you say about your kids
11:47 you joke but I would full on watch videos of you three talking about big brother, love is blind, bachelor, etc and see Sam cook! When Sam and sj (I think) were cooking in the back of that one episode I was so focused on what they were doing I had to keep rewinding to listen to the story 😭😂
I love the little singing segments, I sing along most times 😂❤️
@Sam - dude, I'm the same age as you, and our twin girls were about 1 when the pandemic started. They just turned 5. And it's all not only a blur, but like.....God does it just NOT feel like it's been 4 years. I'm officially in my mid-30s when I was just 30 when this started. Time is a weird soup.
Who hasnt crawl up a door frame thats so normal lol
My verdict on the “sabotage” story: NOT THE ASSHOLE
Y’all discussed the intent and process well, but nobody mentioned how much we could hear the OP taking on responsibility for her ex’s actions. A common result of emotional abuse. I agree the process is weird, they admitted to stalking this person, that’s bad don’t do that, but that’s not what the question was about. OP is not the asshole for telling “the other person” the truth about the ex/current partner to them. Wanting to hurt him emotionally can just also be true with the fact that they wanted to warn the other person, I think it’s reasonable to say these two things can exist at once. The obsession with what their ex is up to is something OP can/should/please work out in therapy
Yeah, I think the intent does not matter. OP would only be the a-hole in my opinion if they did get back with the ex. OP also admitted that she kinda started to like her as a person
I dont think the dog being put "on the run" is referring to an actual dog run, I think it's just a phrase referring to the dog spooking and running out of usual bounds.
I listen to yall while working on Semi trucks 🚛
I listen to yall for everything this morning i listened while i got ready for work (celery episode) then on my drive it was the (legal stealing good/bad cop episode) then now at work this episode
Y'all are the best to listen to while cleaning :)
Congratulations on 50k🎉
Madi rapping Linkin Park just made my life 😂
i’m mestiza, a latina with both spanish and indigenous ancestry. i was talked down on for being darker all my life. it isn’t until recently that i hardly go outdoors because i do full time work indoors- im lighter now and people compliment my skin color all the time now. it’s crazy to me that it’s the opposite for white latinos.
I’m reading the Silo series now it’s so good!! Y’all def gotta read this one
I'm listening while I do my farm chores and more often than not, I binge you guys for farm projects😅
Wyze can be set to activate for sound or motion.
You can also talk through them.
We use it for our dogs but it could scare someone away if they can't find the camera.
Congratulations on 50K! Next year 500K!
love ya’ll, congrats on 50k
:’)my favorite podcast
Percy Jackson is my favorite book series. And Heroes of Olympus killed me. 😭
Me and my bf love it takes two. 🎉 I listen to y’all while I work out or while at work. Love y’all
I listen to y’all while I’m lifing “living” lol
39:00 let's be real, I think SJ is with us ALL, in our hearts, always and forever.
As a fellow avid book reader, I try to read 3 - 4 books a week. Goosebumps is in the horror/thriller genre, but for middle-grade students.
Door crawler! Definitely used to crawl up the door frame and narrow hallways ALL the time when I was little. To my mother’s utter horror and embarrassment, my sibling and I called it “roach feet”. 😬 Our house wasn’t gross, we just lived in the country
the scream I scrempt when Brandon brought up Percy Jackson!!! I have been saying that for like 12 years lolol
41:19 10000% NTA!!!! She deserved to know! Once a cheater always a cheater
The fact some of you think OP was in the wrong is wild
49:28 Yeah I understand being hurt and what happened, but imagine stalking someone else completely and putting in so much effort to do this. She was even trying to avoid him, but she revealed herself anyway especially as the ex? So what was the secretive or stalking for?
To say she is not contact but still have tabs on him is weird
@@SuperJust4girls OMG yeah you are right about that too! It didn’t connect until I read that (I’m listening while working). Just drop him completely 😭
I love my wyze cams, they are always on sale. You can get them super cheap right now especially because they’re about to launch a new version so they are doing lots of promotions on older models. I don’t have any complaints about this sensitivity or motion detection.
Congrats guys❤ well deserved!
I listen at work and when I’m trying to sleep idk what that says about me 😂
31:55 the ideal came from people commenting on her natural tan and it’s such a huge part of her identity/ the reason she feels beautiful.
i’m a very pale white girl and basically other white ppl make fun of u for being pale and talk about it. it made me feel weird and uncomfortable with my skin as a kid, but thankfully i have a wonderful mom who would show me old portraits of pale women to show how beautiful it is. being pale as a white person was definitely not experiencing racism in any way not even close to that. that mom is messed up for acting like that towards her daughter she should love her daughter no matter what she looks like
As a black person who reads a ton of cnovels (where like very pale, white as snow skin in the main beauty standard), it’s so weird hearing how it’s somehow dissed upon enough that you’ve been made to feel so horrid over it lol. Like genuinely it’s hard to wrap my head around ppl somehow not liking or desiring pale skin haha, glad you’re mom was able to help you ignore the comments tho.
I used to record the songs as ringtones 😂
Maddie’s Boston accent is 10 out of 10 girl you had me cracking up
1:02:53 Disney was not in its prime, Disney was actually hurting its actors/actresses...
On the 3rd story, did OP say she wanted to reach out again to her ex? I thought she said she wasn’t interested in reaching out since it was 4 years ago, he’s engaged to a new girl and OP has moved on but just wanted to know if she was an asshole for doing what she did. I heard everyone talk about how she shouldn’t reach out, it’s never a good idea to go back to an ex, for her to move on, etc. Did I misheard?
Why did I sing and mumble so hard when you all did at the ending song?! lolol!
Wyze does distinguish between persons and pets. If you add an SD card, it lets you playback for up to 2 weeks
I totally get the skin thing that you guys were talking about. I hate my skintone because all of my life, I've never been a 'pretty' shade of black.
This episode was hysterical.
33:44 omg totallyyyy. my mom always commented on her ankles and legs and how much she doesn't like them (? and without noticing im always insecure about mine or wondering if they look "right"😅 its crazy how little comments can impact you as a kid
On horror books... I started reading IT in 2019. I still haven't finished it because of how frequently my heart rate and anxiety would soar while reading it. (I have seen the movies, the books are so much more terrifying).
the story around 1:21:00 sounds like someone is on and off living in the house w/o their knowledge. like especially if it was someone involved in some of the reno work, they would know areas where they could go to be undetected whenever the family is actually home. the dogs over time would be used to this person, too. i would be checking the whole house and keeping tabs on food, seeing if bills were higher than anticipated (more water being used, etc)
I came here from Spotify to say that the hat trick was impeccable.
1:07:27 my brother (16) was a door crawler 😂
That’s so raven breakout song was well done 👏
51:19 before I hear the rest of the responses while I agree yes it was weird she followed this girl on things but she didn’t find out about the overlap and when she did she started looking for ways to tell her without revealing her identity. I think while yes I see sams point I also think her saying something in the beginning could have put her in the crazy ex box which not saying she doesn’t a little belong there. But I think her following the girls socials was her way of making sure she was safe like if she’s active and seems happy maybe it’s not happening to her but then she found the overlap of it and went into panic mode
It may have not started that way but the important thing is that it became that way to make sure she was safe and actually did like her.
Not the Ramadan shoutout… ❤
The 1st story had me like...bro. you're mad because your affair partner didn't want you after a certain point. (She probably woke up to the fact that he's a terrible person.) And then turned around to punish the person who TOOK YOU BACK.
Erin, sweetie. If you see this, leave that loser alone as you should've did when he went galavanting with some random woman. There's nothing wrong with you so close up shop and never let him touch you again.
This is part of the reason I'll never get married.
Historically, a lot of lung issues were treated by shoving someone out in the freezing cold. For example, tuberculosis was treated in sanitariums using this method. They called it open air treatment
I too was a door crawler, but also I used to record with my mp3 player the audio of music videos off of UA-cam
Not for nothing, Yvonne is my favorite guest. She’s just so low key and smooth!