As a pansexual, when I come out I will wait in the pantry, holding a pan, and when someone walks by, come out and say "I'm a big fat Pansexual!" I'll come out as trans eventually
LOVE THAT. I never came out as pan/bi (Ik they aint the same I just identify w both) cuz I didn't feel the need to and my vibes are gay af so everyone pretty much guessed it, but if I ever had to do that I love that method lol. Also haven't come out as trans and its fucking terrifying, but best wishes
I was planning to come out as bi to my family today and you posted this just in time! Thank you. It was very educational. (I also realised that this probably isn't the best time for me to come out. So thank you Moe! I love your content ✨)
how to come out: Don’t unless you want to, you don’t owe anyone shit (but if you want to that’s totally valid and I really hope it goes well for you!!❤️)
so i have this friend, she’s really nice and i was already aware that she was supportive of the lgbtq+ community and i was trying to figure out a way to come out as pan to her (this was a little over a month ago). so i wrote on a sticky note in small letters and it said, “um, hi. so like i’m pan... k bye.” and i stuck the note on the window. then i took a picture of the window a fair distance away, so that if you really tried then you could read the note. i sent the picture to her and said, “oh, wow. what a pretty window.” and then i just turned my notifications off and waited. it was super nerve wracking lol. a few minutes later and she responded and she said she was proud of me. so yeah. that’s how i came out as pan to my friend lol
dang, wish i had this when my stepmum looked through my phone and outed me as pan, or when i came out as genderfluid with a magic trick and my dad got pissed lmao
@@norag6628 oh, no lmao, i don't care what they think, i literally bought my own pride flag and stuff, they can get mad and stay mad but my dad can't say anything bc i know who he really sees on friday nights when he stays late at work
I mean, coming out with a magic trick sounds really awesome! I'm sorry your dad didn't react well, that sounds like a super fun, creative way to come out!
My “coming out” as Bi was way less dramatic than I thought it would be...I wasn’t very nervous because I knew none of the people in my surroundings would care. I’m lucky in that sense I guess. I was still nervous simply because I had been thinking about it for so long so I built it up into this huge thing in my mind and then when I told people it was very underwhelming lol! Their reactions were: “Oh that’s cool” “okay.” “Oh I didn’t know” “ Lucky! I wish I was attracted to women so I could quit men all together” “ Oh okay well I know many people who are LGBTQ”. Those are the ones I remember. I’m very happy and lucky to have never experienced anything hate related from the people around me. I thank my mum for only keeping “good” company and always being so open minded. She is probably the main reason for me never harbouring any sort of prejudice against others and in turn allowing me to be comfortable with myself. This video is great for people who want to come out, I wish you all luck and positive vibes regardless of how it turns out. And although I can’t personally vouch for it but know others who have; just because you get one bad reaction doesn’t mean you always will ❤️
awh, thankies for the love. too bad that I'm late of coming out, when I came out to my parents they said "don't worry, it's just a phase" "it wont last forever" "we know you better then you do" "being gay isn't a real thing" and I started yelling at the ;-; jeez. I was so pissed. nowdays, I don't care about these things, and I just yell in the middle of the street "IM leSbiAN!" goodness gracious, I love the weird looks I get from people XDD it's legit so funny. have a good day, people 0: or should I say, have a good gay? (3 (bad pun intendent)
Moe is an amazing person UwU. I'm asexual so I probably with never have biological kids. This video was inspiring to me that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Really great to watch this as a cis straight white male. It's important to understand everyone's struggles, and in the event a friend / loved one trusts me enough to come to me for advice or support, I think it's important to be ready to offer that for them.
I never really saw the point in "coming out". Like I wouldn't need to "come out" if you all didn't automatically ASSUME my sexuality. I've honestly never looked at someone and been like, "well that person is certainly straight and cis".
Oh my god, I needed that right now. I've never come out to anyone except close family and friends, and I recently had a breakdown which resulted in a classmate/friend advising me to come out to my other classmates. Needless to say, I felt reeeally uncomfortable about the idea. I tried with one of them because he was nice, and wow, that was useless and stressful. What wasn't useless was your video~ super useful and entertaining, I loved the skits and the towel hair. Thank you a lot for this, really.
While I don't really need this video myself at the moment, I'm sure this'll help quite a few of your followers and is also a really good resource to forward to any friends in one's social circle that might struggle with coming out. I also really like the little skits you did, Moe. I don't think I've seen that done in this particular way in any other "how to come out" video I've seen so far. But then again I didn't watch too many of those, actually. But it was still a really nice touch and very illustrative of the points you were making 😊👍 Greetings, Meeko :)
@@toasht Yep. You really don't have to say or do anything, if you don't want to or don't feel ready to. It's all your choice. Do whatever works best for you :))
@@Meeko4eve39 Yeah I hear too many LGBT folk tell me "WHEN you come out" instead of "IF you come out".. like i don't have to come out if i don't want to :/
I came out to my cousin Lindsay a few days ago she was very supportive and I ended up figuring out that the boys at her school are making fun of her trans and bi friends so after the corona is ended we are gonna take a trip to the school and try to scare the boys
I know you probably won't see this comment but all of the videos i see by you calm me down and actually make me feel accepted despite the fact that I'm super confused rn. Your video on cominng out, being nonbinary and being angry at kalvin garrah are my comfort videos so thank you so much for making these videos, they really mean something to people and I hope you're well!
I recently outed myself by accident. I was fighting with my mom about trans rights; she said:"trans people should not be in the same community as lesbian and gay people!" To which I responded with :"Actually, WE are glad to have them in the community!" awkward silence. "...did you say 'we'?", she asked, and terrified, I realized my mistake. But she's very accepting of me and all went well in the end! Well, folks, maybe DON'T do it like me😂
Yea help kinda i have been trying to come out for months and im sitting right here with my mom at the table and im thinking of just coming out but i can't because im scared and worried and anxious because i dont want to be disowned kicked out hated or unloved im sure my mom will be fine but my dad fuck noo
@@user-su7wj2gx8k hm maybe you could first come out to just your mom and not your dad yet, and ask her to help you with your dad? Or you could test the waters by having conversations about the LGBT without outing yourself yet. But if you're not ready yet, you do not have to out yourself! Much love❤
@@aezoax8321 yea i was thinking about coming out to my mom first then my siblings and then my mom helping me with my dad because holy fuck i am so scared to come out to my dad because our relationship is horrible so i dont know if he will support me and accept me and thank you for some tips 😁❤
i actually came out to my mum as non-binary last night. she was out before i told her so i was overthinking it quite a bit, and she didn’t understand it fully, but she accepts who i am and for that i’m so so relieved and grateful. to everyone else who isn’t ready to come out or who might not even feel safe to do so: i love you guys and i hope all is going well 💕
moe!!! i came out to my parents two weeks ago!!! they aren't happy about it but they are continuing to love me and thats better than expected. thank you for having a part in my coming out journey :)
Also I would like to say something that helped me a lot. Never come out to others before you come out to yourself. This can help with being more confident in your identity. If you can say to yourself “I am “x” this is who I am.” Than it will be more clear to who you come out to later that you are apsolutly sure
My dad was just talking about how if I get married "Hopefully to a boy" And then I got quiet, and he asked me why, and I said I had a girlfriend- I could tell he was rethinking his choice of words when I said that-
I’ll come out on april 1st by making ridiculous party decorations and let my family decide themselves if that’s a joke or not cuz I’m too scared to be upfront 😂
Yea I’m coming out to my parents on my birthday in a few months, and I’m really terrified because my parents are less accepting than my amazing friends who I’ve already come out to, but ya know what? I’m ready. I’m going to be safe. I can explain my identity. It’s going to be all right.
Dude I hate you so much I saw the video I clicked. I don't have earphones. The moment it run my mum passed and my phone crashed. And I was scared. Are you obliging me somehow to come out. Omg... The scariest thing ever. My heart is going off my chest right now.
12 yo me in the middle of a casual conversation with my parents: oh yeah I'm bisexual btw me now, terrified to come out as trans: *writes 2300 different letters to my mum and ends up never giving them* can I have my confidence back please
I loved what you said at the end of the video. Way too many creators let the relative fame and power go to their heads and talk as if they were experts on the topics they talk about. They lack your humility and the ability to stay on top of things. I'm so glad I discovered your channel. Keep being awsome!
Thank you for making this Moe ❤️. I'm so lucky to have kind, warm, and welcoming parents and friends who love me and accept me for who I am. When I came out as Bi to my mom, I felt like a weight has been lifted. On the other hand, my dad still thinks it's "just a phase," but we're working on getting him to understand. My mom, big sis, brother-in-law, and I are the only ones who know that my sibling is non-binary, and they don't want dad to know yet. I love your content and find you to be very inspiring and kind. You're doing a great job!
My dad suspected cuz I was printing out PRIDE and NON-BINARY stickers and he never really questioned it until he brought it up when I cried about something political and said he will accept me no matter what :') Dunno about my grandparents tho, they're very homophobic
Thanks Moe! This is really helpful. I’m planning on coming out later today, by using the journal my mom and I use to communicate sometimes. Hopefully, she tells my dad after.
i came out to my mom as non-binary a month ago and she said that it was a phase, which i knew was coming. however, they keep reminding that im afab which doesn't help. they also pointedly keep using phrases like "my daughter," "you're the best girl" to rub it in my face. she also makes fun of my coming out by telling her friends that i wanted to be "gender-neutral" right in front of me. and then she asks me why im not talking with her that much and i just want to scream bc it hurts too much. to make things worse, my body is maturing and i dont want any of it. school isn't that great either, even though its currently online. idk why im writing this, i just wanted to get it out of my system
religious parent gang my mom is probably going to sit me down to have some talk that basically means ur going to hell if u dont change but she wont kick me out and thats great except i could just go live with my dad if she did soooo
It's so strange to me how some religious people just assume that they know how the universe works with no proof lol, logically, everyone should be agnostic really. Anyway, good luck for when you come out mate :)
@@yoinksscoob4889 yea i dont get it but im going to have to pretend i get it till i can move out, then the only acting im gonna be doing is on stage lol. anyway thanks :) (also i like ur name :) )
@@anonymouse5133 Aw, it's awful that even in 2020 this is an issue for people, I really hope that one day, being LGBT+ is seen by society as just as normal as being a cis, hetero person. If you disappoint someone because of who you are, that's their problem, not yours, you're so valid :)
I was thinking about coming out to a server of friends recently... this helps so much thank you... (definitely will be helpful too when/ if I come out to my family too :’3)
I didn't really come out to anyone. I grew up in a conservative family in a conservative area. My friends and family had all said homophobic things at one time or another. So, when I was self-sufficient, I moved away, and left no forwarding address or phone number. I made new friends and family in the gay community. I felt my old friends and family have a right to their homophobia, and no right to my company. It is a different perspective, but I felt like I knew where they stood, and asking them to change their mind would feel like they are above me and I need them to approve of me... I was not willing to feel that way. Furthermore, if I came out to them and they were accepting on a superficial level, I could never trust how they really feel about me. They may SAY they accept me, but I didn't really want to wonder about their sincerity. I think, for me, it was a matter of my own dignity.... I didn't need their approval, so I wasn't going to ask for it.
I laughed a lot with your video, besides I think this is really useful to someone who wants to come out. I wish I had someone like you by my side, you seem like the kind of person you don't find easily. Thank you for the video
I’ve been having a real shit day, so I jumped on UA-cam to watch something to hopefully cheer me up. Thinking there would be nothing new I wanted to see. But boy was I wrong! bc my new favorite small UA-camr Moe uploaded! So glad I can watch this and feel like I’m having a chat with an old friend (even tho I’m 5 years older than Moe lol) ❤️
One thing to take into account is that people can surprise you, in both good and bad ways. When I came out as trans, the friends I thought might have an issue with it were some of the most supportive while those I thought would be fine with it seemed to be the ones who struggled the most. The first person to unfreind me on Facebook after I came out was a lesbian which was a shock. I had no idea that some lesbians don't like tramswomen.
it's not just lesbiens, a lot of gay people think that straight trans people are deniers. i had a gay dude friend who really hated trans women and said "just because you like dresses and men doesn't mean your a woman. they're reading into it so much". i think some peole don't realise being trans has nothing to do with your personality or likes and dislikes, it's a completely biological thing. in biology there's sex and gender, the two being different benifits instincts and brain transmitions greatly. sex is just what your sexual organs are (and what your hormones are) which is a very physical thing. whereas gender is a WHOLE bundle of brain signals and instincts and all of this complicated crap. the reason why trans people exist is because the sex and gender don't match up sometimes. it was kind of inevitable i guess. and then you get gender fluid people, non binary people, ect ect. which are all completely possible because of how complicated the brain is. you may have heard somebody say "trans men and women have closer brains to the gender they are transitioning to, not the sex they were assighned at birth" and this is actually true. just how gay people have the hormones of the "wrong" sex, trans people have the "wrong" gender. although there is nothing actually wrong with them because it's all about reproduction and lgbtq peeps still have ways to reproduce, and some of them can still use the natural method. and since gender and sexuality stuff is so complicated, there are asexual people, and non binary people, and bi people, and agender, aromantic, and more. there's completely scientific explanations for all of them, so just saying "gOD mAdE uS aLl CiSGeNdEr AAAND sTrAIgHt" are idiots, because since the desighn of the human is so ridiculously complicated to put in genetic code, there are obviosly going to be harmless hiccups. like red hair, (i'm not being mean, red hair is a snag in the phuemelanin gene, making blone pigment go red), and trans and gay people. if people can just get over theirselves and hop off their ego, we can accept lgbtq people into society and let them be their f*cking selves without having to pander to jk rowling or whoever. this comment is getting really long, but basically, don't deny trans people, cause they're very much possible. and don't be biphobic. and don't deny that non binary people exist. and like.... bee nice 🐝
Thank you so much!! I'm really struggling with deciding whether or not to come out as non-binary to my family. You brought up some amazing points, and I'm really going to take your list into consideration while I decide.
My grandma is “not homophobic or transphobic,” yet she thinks that gay people are wrong because they “can’t have children,” and that trans people are wrong because “that’s not how God intended for them to be.” I hate it here
hey moe d'angello wallace showed the thumbnail of one of your videos in his latest video about bl*ire white!! prouda you pal you're getting bigger and bigger
I recently came out to my mother after years of being in denial of my identity, it might not be much, but it really feels like a huge step to start fully living my truth. Thank you for your videos, they really make me feel less alone in this whole journey 💗 Also I loved the little skits lol
i've been debating coming out, actually. i'm not totally sure myself, but i kinda want someone to lean on emotionally who can help, but they're homophobic, so i might get the opposite and have only my friends and therapist to rely on for emotional support. delightful. :)
I appreciate this video. I was questioning for a long time because I had no back up plan I didn't know what to do and living in the Bible Belt of the US adds an extra layer. All of what you said I completely agree with. Also as someone who has met the willfully ignorant and just the ignorant there is a huge difference between the two. Most people are just ignorant but the willfully ignorant will always tell on themselves with their actions.
I came out almost a year ago, and I did it in my own style. I posted it on Facebook and told my friends, family and what have you if they couldn't get behind my happiness they could get TF out of my way. I have never cared what anyone else thinks of me, and I never will
This is a good summary of all the important points, great job! I don't know if it helps but here's how my coming out went. I came out this year, as aegosexual/asexual and transmasculine non binary. I at first came out to my closest friends, first dropping some serious hints in person and then sending a text in which I told them my new name and pronouns. They were super accepting and saw it coming from a mile away. Not just because of the hints I dropped but because they've known me for years, an AFAB that always looked like a dude. Being ace surprised them way more than me being trans because I have a very lewd sense of humour and am fond of fictional characters. But once I explained aegosexuality to them it made sense to them. I also came out on FB, which was received well. From there, I went to my grandma, the family member who always understood me the most. Those were actually two coming outs, both via the phone. Turns out she's also ace. I initially didn't want to tell her about my gender identity but like I said, she knows me, so eventually she asked. And her only question was whether Alexis would still visit her the way (deadname) did. She even suspected I was trans when I was a teenager because I had (and still have) massive dysphoria and couldn't bear to look at myself in the mirror (or the shower) so she hid the mirrors. She's happy for me and I feel safe with her. My (foster) parents were a different matter. I came out to them last, because I needed my friends and grandma as a security net. Due to Covid and my job not making enough money to cover all expenses I was receiving financial help from them. So despite being an adult there wasn't full independence. But I wanted them to know because I just couldn't hold it in anymore. I wrote a letter. Their responses came via text and while my dad did use my new name my mom refused to because she "connects her feelings towards me with (deadname) and it's as if she never raised me". Two days later they told me they'll cut the financial support, claiming "this new topic" was eating up time and energy that's best invested in searching for an additional job or a full time employment. Note that I do work. But I can't live off minimum wage at part time and my country is on 2nd lockdown. I'm trained to work in libraries and museums and those are closed. TL;DR, I advise coming out to open minded people first. It also helps against impostor syndrome. And if you can, make sure your finances are secure or that you at least have some emergency measure in place. I definitely wouldn't have come out if I had been younger and was still living with my parents.
At the very least I'm glad that your friend and grandmother accepted you :) On a side note I'm also ace and I'm pretty sure that I'm at least somewhat aegosexuaI.
I have my own place rn and I am still so spooked to come out as bisexual to my parents. 🥺😭 I feel like they might have an idea about it but I think they will absolutely turn my feelings around and try to manipulate me. 😔 I cannot, I just cannot, it is much easier when you do it to friends.😰
@@GamingNat The thing is though, I have that female lean and the female gender is the one I fall for far more often. Also my parents are so homophobic that they don't even like the guys I like! Any man that isn't hypermasculine is just not enough of a man for them. I appreciate them raising me and love them and all but I truly wish that they trusted me with myself and my desires for once.
I’m planning to come out sometime in the next couple of weeks (yeah a deadline’s weird, but I think my only obstacle at this point is forgetting) so this really helped!
i had the lucky position of awkwardness being more of a barrier than fear for coming out to my parents. i wasn't sure if having an "i'm gay" sit down and talk would be too formal of me, so it just randomly happened in the car when my mum asked if i would want kids as an adult. i feel this kinda downplayed how much turmoil coming to terms with being gay had caused me, but at the same time i'm not one to be emotional with my parents so it didn't matter too much. basically, depending on the relationship, i feel it's also perfectly okay to simply wait for the topic to come up
This is funny, because I came out to my mom who claims to be a feminist, three years ago, so I trusted her, but it turned out she is a fucking terf and it was a horrible idea to come out as a trans guy. I hate this. You know? Then I wrote a long-ass letter to her like four pages long, explaining my identity and how she hurt me by saying things she said to me and how I won't "be a lesbian" because she wants so, because I like dudes and she won't change shit. And she said "well I don't wanna read it, because I'm worried about you" (in reality she was scared of being faced with truth and me expressing my emotional disappointment) And I was like. *OK.* And I try to live with my family using my deadname and female pronouns, because like... it's not even worth to fight with *these people* imo. They're not family for me.
I've come out to two sets of my friends already and I'm gearing up to come out to my family through a video (which has a modified version of Dodie's coming out song in it). For everyone who's thinking of coming out and is still in the closet, I also send love and thoughts out from the West Coast of the US!!
Thank you so much for this. I'm pretty sure my parents already know that I'm not straight, but I'm still so afraid of telling them straight up (haha straight). I don't plan on ever coming out to them until I move out even though I know they'd probably accept me.
I'm out already but I watch all of Moes vids lol, they could upload an hour long video of just random talking and I'd be like 'cool', but good luck to everyone who is about to come out, and please only do so if you are ready to and if you're in a safe environment :)
That bit with the mother asking that.. almost word for word what MY mom said when I came out as Bi, except with women. Some parents just.. have no concept of personal
Me, who was thinking about coming out soon: 👁👄👁
At this point it almost seems like now can read our minds
Good luck , my fellow :))
Me who's never coming out cause "nonbinary doesn't exist" (until I'm very far away) : 👁️👄👁️
@@popweezle9856 bruh , i'll invent you in a few days , so you can come out ! ( when u're ready ofc )
@@toasht IM CACKLING
my parents seeing my watch history: 👁👄👁
oh shit i didn’t think about that fuck
@@assmilk9674 just clear it, you'll be ok!
Oh god my poor mom doesn’t want to what I been seeing all the gayness will make her see nothing but rainbows for years
@@eloisemar6035 thanks lol hopefully i’m not too late
Me using incognito mode:
As a pansexual, when I come out I will wait in the pantry, holding a pan, and when someone walks by, come out and say "I'm a big fat Pansexual!"
I'll come out as trans eventually
Same
Not with the method but yeah lol
I'm a sad pan trans too
f - m
LOVE THAT. I never came out as pan/bi (Ik they aint the same I just identify w both) cuz I didn't feel the need to and my vibes are gay af so everyone pretty much guessed it, but if I ever had to do that I love that method lol. Also haven't come out as trans and its fucking terrifying, but best wishes
that is amazing. I hope you the best. all love from my big gay heart💗
@Exzul there is a difference, to some people that difference is irrelevant and to others it defines their entire sexuality. its personal.
I was planning to come out as bi to my family today and you posted this just in time! Thank you. It was very educational. (I also realised that this probably isn't the best time for me to come out. So thank you Moe! I love your content ✨)
how to come out: Don’t unless you want to, you don’t owe anyone shit
(but if you want to that’s totally valid and I really hope it goes well for you!!❤️)
moe: *is a pretty fella*
me: ha. pretty.
three videos later: ha. i'm bi now.
so i have this friend, she’s really nice and i was already aware that she was supportive of the lgbtq+ community and i was trying to figure out a way to come out as pan to her (this was a little over a month ago).
so i wrote on a sticky note in small letters and it said, “um, hi. so like i’m pan... k bye.” and i stuck the note on the window. then i took a picture of the window a fair distance away, so that if you really tried then you could read the note.
i sent the picture to her and said, “oh, wow. what a pretty window.” and then i just turned my notifications off and waited. it was super nerve wracking lol. a few minutes later and she responded and she said she was proud of me.
so yeah. that’s how i came out as pan to my friend lol
Hey can I steal this from you? I'm thinking of coming out as bi to my class but idk how to lmao
@Im dying inside :D sure lol, i just came up with it on a whim and it worked 😂 (also good luck)
@@keyboard1980 Thank you!!
@Im dying inside :D np!
I should have done this...
Honestly coming out as nonbinary to my family has never even felt like a possibility till I saw this 😀
Still not gonna do it tho ❤️ great vid!
Valid
dang, wish i had this when my stepmum looked through my phone and outed me as pan, or when i came out as genderfluid with a magic trick and my dad got pissed lmao
aw i’m sorry that’s an awful situation to be in❤️
@@norag6628 oh, no lmao, i don't care what they think, i literally bought my own pride flag and stuff, they can get mad and stay mad but my dad can't say anything bc i know who he really sees on friday nights when he stays late at work
I mean, coming out with a magic trick sounds really awesome! I'm sorry your dad didn't react well, that sounds like a super fun, creative way to come out!
@@brookemoreno5662 Yeee, you go Levi :)
The magic trick to come out sounds dope tho lmao
Wow, what a coincidence. I literally just made a post on reddit asking how i should come out. It's like the universe knew i needed this.
My “coming out” as Bi was way less dramatic than I thought it would be...I wasn’t very nervous because I knew none of the people in my surroundings would care. I’m lucky in that sense I guess. I was still nervous simply because I had been thinking about it for so long so I built it up into this huge thing in my mind and then when I told people it was very underwhelming lol! Their reactions were: “Oh that’s cool” “okay.” “Oh I didn’t know” “ Lucky! I wish I was attracted to women so I could quit men all together” “ Oh okay well I know many people who are LGBTQ”. Those are the ones I remember.
I’m very happy and lucky to have never experienced anything hate related from the people around me. I thank my mum for only keeping “good” company and always being so open minded. She is probably the main reason for me never harbouring any sort of prejudice against others and in turn allowing me to be comfortable with myself.
This video is great for people who want to come out, I wish you all luck and positive vibes regardless of how it turns out. And although I can’t personally vouch for it but know others who have; just because you get one bad reaction doesn’t mean you always will ❤️
awh, thankies for the love.
too bad that I'm late of coming out,
when I came out to my parents they said "don't worry, it's just a phase" "it wont last forever" "we know you better then you do" "being gay isn't a real thing" and I started yelling at the ;-;
jeez. I was so pissed.
nowdays, I don't care about these things, and I just yell in the middle of the street "IM leSbiAN!" goodness gracious, I love the weird looks I get from people XDD it's legit so funny.
have a good day, people 0:
or should I say,
have a good gay? (3 (bad pun intendent)
Moe is an amazing person UwU. I'm asexual so I probably with never have biological kids. This video was inspiring to me that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
same here
Really great to watch this as a cis straight white male. It's important to understand everyone's struggles, and in the event a friend / loved one trusts me enough to come to me for advice or support, I think it's important to be ready to offer that for them.
I never really saw the point in "coming out". Like I wouldn't need to "come out" if you all didn't automatically ASSUME my sexuality. I've honestly never looked at someone and been like, "well that person is certainly straight and cis".
True
Tho most people do sadly
exactly I hope we progress enough as a society that no one needs to come out and they can just express themselves no questions asked
Oh my god, I needed that right now. I've never come out to anyone except close family and friends, and I recently had a breakdown which resulted in a classmate/friend advising me to come out to my other classmates. Needless to say, I felt reeeally uncomfortable about the idea.
I tried with one of them because he was nice, and wow, that was useless and stressful.
What wasn't useless was your video~ super useful and entertaining, I loved the skits and the towel hair. Thank you a lot for this, really.
While I don't really need this video myself at the moment, I'm sure this'll help quite a few of your followers and is also a really good resource to forward to any friends in one's social circle that might struggle with coming out.
I also really like the little skits you did, Moe. I don't think I've seen that done in this particular way in any other "how to come out" video I've seen so far. But then again I didn't watch too many of those, actually. But it was still a really nice touch and very illustrative of the points you were making 😊👍
Greetings, Meeko :)
Awh thanks Meeko 🥰
Awh thanks Meeko 🥰
Wait ... Can't I just keep it to myself until i'm old enough to get married (and gay marriage is legal in my country) ???
I mean...
Well, coming out is always a choice, never an obligation 🙂 Could certainly have its benefits as a strategy, I'd imagine 🤔
@@Meeko4eve39 Yay I'm not forced to come out :))
@@toasht Yep. You really don't have to say or do anything, if you don't want to or don't feel ready to. It's all your choice. Do whatever works best for you :))
@@Meeko4eve39 Yeah I hear too many LGBT folk tell me "WHEN you come out" instead of "IF you come out".. like i don't have to come out if i don't want to :/
I just wanted to wish people good luck with coming out 🤘
I got this in my notifications while listening to girl in red 😂
P.S. Moe’s voice is so calming and friendly I love it so muchhh
And the words that come out are so meaningful and thought provoking.
I came out to my cousin Lindsay a few days ago she was very supportive and I ended up figuring out that the boys at her school are making fun of her trans and bi friends so after the corona is ended we are gonna take a trip to the school and try to scare the boys
I know you probably won't see this comment but all of the videos i see by you calm me down and actually make me feel accepted despite the fact that I'm super confused rn. Your video on cominng out, being nonbinary and being angry at kalvin garrah are my comfort videos so thank you so much for making these videos, they really mean something to people and I hope you're well!
I recently outed myself by accident.
I was fighting with my mom about trans rights; she said:"trans people should not be in the same community as lesbian and gay people!" To which I responded with :"Actually, WE are glad to have them in the community!"
awkward silence. "...did you say 'we'?", she asked, and terrified, I realized my mistake.
But she's very accepting of me and all went well in the end! Well, folks, maybe DON'T do it like me😂
Yea help kinda i have been trying to come out for months and im sitting right here with my mom at the table and im thinking of just coming out but i can't because im scared and worried and anxious because i dont want to be disowned kicked out hated or unloved im sure my mom will be fine but my dad fuck noo
@@user-su7wj2gx8k hm maybe you could first come out to just your mom and not your dad yet, and ask her to help you with your dad? Or you could test the waters by having conversations about the LGBT without outing yourself yet. But if you're not ready yet, you do not have to out yourself! Much love❤
@@aezoax8321 yea i was thinking about coming out to my mom first then my siblings and then my mom helping me with my dad because holy fuck i am so scared to come out to my dad because our relationship is horrible so i dont know if he will support me and accept me and thank you for some tips 😁❤
i actually came out to my mum as non-binary last night. she was out before i told her so i was overthinking it quite a bit, and she didn’t understand it fully, but she accepts who i am and for that i’m so so relieved and grateful. to everyone else who isn’t ready to come out or who might not even feel safe to do so: i love you guys and i hope all is going well 💕
Moe is such a chill person, they’re the kind of person I could live on a deserted island with ya know
Thank you for this mate. I actually need this
DUDE- Omg i didnt realize ur almost at 30k, congrats :))
moe!!! i came out to my parents two weeks ago!!! they aren't happy about it but they are continuing to love me and thats better than expected. thank you for having a part in my coming out journey :)
Also I would like to say something that helped me a lot. Never come out to others before you come out to yourself.
This can help with being more confident in your identity. If you can say to yourself “I am “x” this is who I am.” Than it will be more clear to who you come out to later that you are apsolutly sure
My dad was just talking about how if I get married "Hopefully to a boy"
And then I got quiet, and he asked me why, and I said I had a girlfriend-
I could tell he was rethinking his choice of words when I said that-
Moe laughing at their own dad joke is the highlight of my day ♡
I’ll come out on april 1st by making ridiculous party decorations and let my family decide themselves if that’s a joke or not
cuz I’m too scared to be upfront 😂
Yea I’m coming out to my parents on my birthday in a few months, and I’m really terrified because my parents are less accepting than my amazing friends who I’ve already come out to, but ya know what? I’m ready. I’m going to be safe. I can explain my identity. It’s going to be all right.
I've never had to worry about being kicked out, but it makes me so sad to know that some people do have to worry about that.
Dude I hate you so much I saw the video I clicked. I don't have earphones. The moment it run my mum passed and my phone crashed. And I was scared. Are you obliging me somehow to come out. Omg... The scariest thing ever. My heart is going off my chest right now.
That is the only option left though... if you’re too scared, please don’t come out. Only come out if you want to
Uh, how is it their fault?
I have a nonbianary flag on my pfp for my school computer idk if any one know the flag so ya
same
@@t-rexje9100 im not out yet so just wait till the teacher sees
@@Alex-ui5qn me neither but just gives me a good feeling
@@t-rexje9100 I just changed my yt name and I wish I could change it on my school computer
@curious little raindrop ya I seen everyone with a picture so I thought why don't I put a little bit of my gender in there and they will never know
12 yo me in the middle of a casual conversation with my parents: oh yeah I'm bisexual btw
me now, terrified to come out as trans: *writes 2300 different letters to my mum and ends up never giving them*
can I have my confidence back please
😂
I loved what you said at the end of the video. Way too many creators let the relative fame and power go to their heads and talk as if they were experts on the topics they talk about. They lack your humility and the ability to stay on top of things. I'm so glad I discovered your channel.
Keep being awsome!
Thank you for making this Moe ❤️. I'm so lucky to have kind, warm, and welcoming parents and friends who love me and accept me for who I am. When I came out as Bi to my mom, I felt like a weight has been lifted. On the other hand, my dad still thinks it's "just a phase," but we're working on getting him to understand. My mom, big sis, brother-in-law, and I are the only ones who know that my sibling is non-binary, and they don't want dad to know yet. I love your content and find you to be very inspiring and kind. You're doing a great job!
do you always have your closet open in the background because it a symbol that you can come out, or are you just too lazy to close it
If I were them, my reason would be _both_
This video came out just in time. I was planning on coming out this Christmas and have been needing some tips, thank you so much.
This was an awesome video Moe! I recently came out as trans to my fam and loved watching your skits
My dad suspected cuz I was printing out PRIDE and NON-BINARY stickers and he never really questioned it until he brought it up when I cried about something political and said he will accept me no matter what :')
Dunno about my grandparents tho, they're very homophobic
Thanks Moe! This is really helpful. I’m planning on coming out later today, by using the journal my mom and I use to communicate sometimes. Hopefully, she tells my dad after.
Holy crap, your channel was at like 9K subscribers a couple of weeks ago. Your channel's growing so fast, I'm excited for you!
i came out to my mom as non-binary a month ago and she said that it was a phase, which i knew was coming. however, they keep reminding that im afab which doesn't help. they also pointedly keep using phrases like "my daughter," "you're the best girl" to rub it in my face. she also makes fun of my coming out by telling her friends that i wanted to be "gender-neutral" right in front of me. and then she asks me why im not talking with her that much and i just want to scream bc it hurts too much. to make things worse, my body is maturing and i dont want any of it. school isn't that great either, even though its currently online. idk why im writing this, i just wanted to get it out of my system
Sameeeeeeeeeeeee
Came over fram xan and I’m glad he recommended you :) also very good video!
kinda came out to my family already and they're all very supportive but i still am very thankful that you made this video! ♡
religious parent gang
my mom is probably going to sit me down to have some talk that basically means ur going to hell if u dont change but she wont kick me out and thats great except i could just go live with my dad if she did soooo
It's so strange to me how some religious people just assume that they know how the universe works with no proof lol, logically, everyone should be agnostic really. Anyway, good luck for when you come out mate :)
@@yoinksscoob4889 yea i dont get it but im going to have to pretend i get it till i can move out, then the only acting im gonna be doing is on stage lol. anyway thanks :)
(also i like ur name :) )
Same!
To be honest I will probably never come out to my parents though, I am terrified of disappointing people
@@anonymouse5133 Aw, it's awful that even in 2020 this is an issue for people, I really hope that one day, being LGBT+ is seen by society as just as normal as being a cis, hetero person. If you disappoint someone because of who you are, that's their problem, not yours, you're so valid :)
@@yoinksscoob4889 Thanks :)
I was thinking about coming out to a server of friends recently... this helps so much thank you... (definitely will be helpful too when/ if I come out to my family too :’3)
Awww make sure to be careful and safe and I shouldn't have to say that because nothing should happen but unfortunately you really need to be safe.
@@dreamybombstudios724 that’s understandable :
I didn't really come out to anyone.
I grew up in a conservative family in a conservative area. My friends and family had all said homophobic things at one time or another.
So, when I was self-sufficient, I moved away, and left no forwarding address or phone number.
I made new friends and family in the gay community.
I felt my old friends and family have a right to their homophobia, and no right to my company.
It is a different perspective, but I felt like I knew where they stood, and asking them to change their mind would feel like they are above me and I need them to approve of me... I was not willing to feel that way. Furthermore, if I came out to them and they were accepting on a superficial level, I could never trust how they really feel about me. They may SAY they accept me, but I didn't really want to wonder about their sincerity.
I think, for me, it was a matter of my own dignity.... I didn't need their approval, so I wasn't going to ask for it.
I laughed a lot with your video, besides I think this is really useful to someone who wants to come out. I wish I had someone like you by my side, you seem like the kind of person you don't find easily. Thank you for the video
I’ve been having a real shit day, so I jumped on UA-cam to watch something to hopefully cheer me up. Thinking there would be nothing new I wanted to see. But boy was I wrong! bc my new favorite small UA-camr Moe uploaded! So glad I can watch this and feel like I’m having a chat with an old friend (even tho I’m 5 years older than Moe lol) ❤️
One thing to take into account is that people can surprise you, in both good and bad ways. When I came out as trans, the friends I thought might have an issue with it were some of the most supportive while those I thought would be fine with it seemed to be the ones who struggled the most. The first person to unfreind me on Facebook after I came out was a lesbian which was a shock. I had no idea that some lesbians don't like tramswomen.
it's not just lesbiens, a lot of gay people think that straight trans people are deniers. i had a gay dude friend who really hated trans women and said "just because you like dresses and men doesn't mean your a woman. they're reading into it so much". i think some peole don't realise being trans has nothing to do with your personality or likes and dislikes, it's a completely biological thing. in biology there's sex and gender, the two being different benifits instincts and brain transmitions greatly. sex is just what your sexual organs are (and what your hormones are) which is a very physical thing. whereas gender is a WHOLE bundle of brain signals and instincts and all of this complicated crap. the reason why trans people exist is because the sex and gender don't match up sometimes. it was kind of inevitable i guess. and then you get gender fluid people, non binary people, ect ect. which are all completely possible because of how complicated the brain is. you may have heard somebody say "trans men and women have closer brains to the gender they are transitioning to, not the sex they were assighned at birth" and this is actually true. just how gay people have the hormones of the "wrong" sex, trans people have the "wrong" gender. although there is nothing actually wrong with them because it's all about reproduction and lgbtq peeps still have ways to reproduce, and some of them can still use the natural method. and since gender and sexuality stuff is so complicated, there are asexual people, and non binary people, and bi people, and agender, aromantic, and more. there's completely scientific explanations for all of them, so just saying "gOD mAdE uS aLl CiSGeNdEr AAAND sTrAIgHt" are idiots, because since the desighn of the human is so ridiculously complicated to put in genetic code, there are obviosly going to be harmless hiccups. like red hair, (i'm not being mean, red hair is a snag in the phuemelanin gene, making blone pigment go red), and trans and gay people. if people can just get over theirselves and hop off their ego, we can accept lgbtq people into society and let them be their f*cking selves without having to pander to jk rowling or whoever.
this comment is getting really long, but basically, don't deny trans people, cause they're very much possible. and don't be biphobic. and don't deny that non binary people exist. and like.... bee nice 🐝
Me who already came out as non-binary to my friends, classmates & teachers, and almost all of the internet but NOT my immediate family: *h e h*
I seriously look forward to these videos 😆
5:17 im sorry i cant stop thinking of the peppa pig phone meme lmaoo
Thank you so much!!
I'm really struggling with deciding whether or not to come out as non-binary to my family. You brought up some amazing points, and I'm really going to take your list into consideration while I decide.
@curious little raindrop I'm pan as well, but I've already told my fam about that. I wish you the best of luck!
My grandma is “not homophobic or transphobic,” yet she thinks that gay people are wrong because they “can’t have children,” and that trans people are wrong because “that’s not how God intended for them to be.” I hate it here
hey moe d'angello wallace showed the thumbnail of one of your videos in his latest video about bl*ire white!! prouda you pal you're getting bigger and bigger
I recently came out to my mother after years of being in denial of my identity, it might not be much, but it really feels like a huge step to start fully living my truth. Thank you for your videos, they really make me feel less alone in this whole journey 💗
Also I loved the little skits lol
7:40 "Nah, coming out's just scary and I didn't want to have to do it" yep
i just came out to my family today- this actually helped a lot
i've been debating coming out, actually. i'm not totally sure myself, but i kinda want someone to lean on emotionally who can help, but they're homophobic, so i might get the opposite and have only my friends and therapist to rely on for emotional support. delightful. :)
Am I- EARLY!?
You're first fam
@@redacted5078 ayeee
Thank you for making this I’m thinking of coming out to my strict parents and I’m kinda of scared but this video made my day and gave me hope❤️
I won't come out. Nobody cares. And I don't care about people knowing😂😂😂😂
Same😂
I appreciate this video. I was questioning for a long time because I had no back up plan I didn't know what to do and living in the Bible Belt of the US adds an extra layer.
All of what you said I completely agree with. Also as someone who has met the willfully ignorant and just the ignorant there is a huge difference between the two.
Most people are just ignorant but the willfully ignorant will always tell on themselves with their actions.
hahah I love you moe
this was really helpful and really funny
hey, d'angelo wallace shouted you out in his newest video!!
Alright I set a date 3 years in the future let's hope I get there before 18 👍
Hey Moe 👋 your channel got recommended to me through D'Angelo! Looking forward to seeing more of your content!
I’m straight but I’m watching this because I’m bored and it’s midnight.
I came out almost a year ago, and I did it in my own style. I posted it on Facebook and told my friends, family and what have you if they couldn't get behind my happiness they could get TF out of my way. I have never cared what anyone else thinks of me, and I never will
could've used this before i accidentally outed myself. which was yesterday. lmao
Hey d'angelo mentioned your channel on his new video, you're famous mate
This is a good summary of all the important points, great job! I don't know if it helps but here's how my coming out went.
I came out this year, as aegosexual/asexual and transmasculine non binary. I at first came out to my closest friends, first dropping some serious hints in person and then sending a text in which I told them my new name and pronouns. They were super accepting and saw it coming from a mile away. Not just because of the hints I dropped but because they've known me for years, an AFAB that always looked like a dude. Being ace surprised them way more than me being trans because I have a very lewd sense of humour and am fond of fictional characters. But once I explained aegosexuality to them it made sense to them. I also came out on FB, which was received well.
From there, I went to my grandma, the family member who always understood me the most. Those were actually two coming outs, both via the phone. Turns out she's also ace. I initially didn't want to tell her about my gender identity but like I said, she knows me, so eventually she asked. And her only question was whether Alexis would still visit her the way (deadname) did. She even suspected I was trans when I was a teenager because I had (and still have) massive dysphoria and couldn't bear to look at myself in the mirror (or the shower) so she hid the mirrors. She's happy for me and I feel safe with her.
My (foster) parents were a different matter. I came out to them last, because I needed my friends and grandma as a security net. Due to Covid and my job not making enough money to cover all expenses I was receiving financial help from them. So despite being an adult there wasn't full independence. But I wanted them to know because I just couldn't hold it in anymore. I wrote a letter. Their responses came via text and while my dad did use my new name my mom refused to because she "connects her feelings towards me with (deadname) and it's as if she never raised me". Two days later they told me they'll cut the financial support, claiming "this new topic" was eating up time and energy that's best invested in searching for an additional job or a full time employment. Note that I do work. But I can't live off minimum wage at part time and my country is on 2nd lockdown. I'm trained to work in libraries and museums and those are closed.
TL;DR, I advise coming out to open minded people first. It also helps against impostor syndrome. And if you can, make sure your finances are secure or that you at least have some emergency measure in place. I definitely wouldn't have come out if I had been younger and was still living with my parents.
At the very least I'm glad that your friend and grandmother accepted you :)
On a side note I'm also ace and I'm pretty sure that I'm at least somewhat aegosexuaI.
I just want you to know that I appreciate your videos and I love you for them and because you're a smart, wonderful and beautiful person! Namaste 🙏
I have my own place rn and I am still so spooked to come out as bisexual to my parents. 🥺😭 I feel like they might have an idea about it but I think they will absolutely turn my feelings around and try to manipulate me. 😔 I cannot, I just cannot, it is much easier when you do it to friends.😰
@@GamingNat The thing is though, I have that female lean and the female gender is the one I fall for far more often. Also my parents are so homophobic that they don't even like the guys I like! Any man that isn't hypermasculine is just not enough of a man for them. I appreciate them raising me and love them and all but I truly wish that they trusted me with myself and my desires for once.
I’m planning to come out sometime in the next couple of weeks (yeah a deadline’s weird, but I think my only obstacle at this point is forgetting) so this really helped!
I've already come out - but this is an excellent resource.
is it just me who thinks "what's that? you think gays are going to hell? Ah, goodbye" Is extremely funny
Thank you for this, Moe 💕 haha I probably won’t be able to come out for a while but this was definitely helpful for when I do
you have a nice voice btw. :) also i like your humor
Hello moe! Edit: who heard a vacuum in the backround?
Hello Ella
Moe-riffic as always! Thanks for being awesome!
i had the lucky position of awkwardness being more of a barrier than fear for coming out to my parents. i wasn't sure if having an "i'm gay" sit down and talk would be too formal of me, so it just randomly happened in the car when my mum asked if i would want kids as an adult. i feel this kinda downplayed how much turmoil coming to terms with being gay had caused me, but at the same time i'm not one to be emotional with my parents so it didn't matter too much. basically, depending on the relationship, i feel it's also perfectly okay to simply wait for the topic to come up
I needed this 2 months ago but thank you 😔👊
This is funny, because I came out to my mom who claims to be a feminist, three years ago, so I trusted her, but it turned out she is a fucking terf and it was a horrible idea to come out as a trans guy. I hate this. You know?
Then I wrote a long-ass letter to her like four pages long, explaining my identity and how she hurt me by saying things she said to me and how I won't "be a lesbian" because she wants so, because I like dudes and she won't change shit. And she said "well I don't wanna read it, because I'm worried about you" (in reality she was scared of being faced with truth and me expressing my emotional disappointment) And I was like. *OK.* And I try to live with my family using my deadname and female pronouns, because like... it's not even worth to fight with *these people* imo. They're not family for me.
moe you are so wonderful, i did not know you were an artist 👁👄👁
I've come out to two sets of my friends already and I'm gearing up to come out to my family through a video (which has a modified version of Dodie's coming out song in it). For everyone who's thinking of coming out and is still in the closet, I also send love and thoughts out from the West Coast of the US!!
Thank you so much for this. I'm pretty sure my parents already know that I'm not straight, but I'm still so afraid of telling them straight up (haha straight). I don't plan on ever coming out to them until I move out even though I know they'd probably accept me.
I had no idea you were a 19 year old non binary art student because I, myself, are an 18 year old non binary art student 👁👄👁
Wow what a coincidence. I am a 16 year old nonbinary art student. What a small world
I don't know if you know this yet but one of your video was in d'angelo Wallace's video for a few seconds :D
I love your channel so much, your videos are very interesting!
Ooo I’m early for once hope all is well w u💓💅🏻
This was REALLY helpful!!! Thankyou💞💞💞
I'm out already but I watch all of Moes vids lol, they could upload an hour long video of just random talking and I'd be like 'cool', but good luck to everyone who is about to come out, and please only do so if you are ready to and if you're in a safe environment :)
That bit with the mother asking that.. almost word for word what MY mom said when I came out as Bi, except with women. Some parents just.. have no concept of personal