Yep. Your attention is their drug and it feeds their supply. Case in point: after I exposed her, my narcissistic former friends/colleague went into hiding and off the grid. Perhaps in her twisted mind, she thought she was punishing me by withholding her attention. I was already well on to her games at that point so I took the opportunity to block her on everything and change my number. I later heard, through the grapevine, that she completely lost her mind when I went no-contact with her. After all the crap she pulled and garbage she created with her destructive behavior, she's somehow expected me to still run to her rescue and be on her side. Delusional.
Here's another side of it. They interpret every facial expression and breath you take as an attack on them, or a criticism of them and go off the wall on you.
@@stompthedragon4010 yes I did thank you. 👍. I turned everything back on him and exposed him to the neighbours after months of hell. I’m away 5 months and he’s back on dating websites looking for another victim. Obviously my replacement dumped him too. He’s 66 with destroyed lives in his wake, but he didn’t destroy me and he HATES me for it.
If I said anything, it was looked upon as criticism, but he felt ‘entitled’ to say what he wanted to me. We ended it over a YAWN…yes a YAWN. At 6:30 am he bellowed like a foghorn that would have wakened up the whole street, flagging his arms around in a stretch then banged them on the bed. In a jokey way I mentioned it in song form and he went absolutely mental, screaming that I shouldn’t have said anything at all. He went out for a couple of hours, came back and started a rage where he threatened me twice. That was me done, 3 months later I was gone, he had to buy my share of a house we had only bought 3 months earlier. The verbal and emotional abuse was so bad with him barging into my bedroom at all hours without knocking that I had to put a camera in…that kept him out. What he didn’t know was that I was recording his rants, rages etc on my iPad as evidence before I moved out, he only found out after I was gone. All that because of a YAWN, which he wanted me to APOLOGISE for mentioning it.
Ask them the difference between free speech and hate speech and they will look at you blankly and then get angry if you tell them that they are NOT the same thing.😮 This is insightful thank-U.
We all have narcissistic tendencies but the difference is the level in which the individual pursues their personal gain to the detriment of others health, well-being and happiness.
@@mr.anonym4050 If it’s true, pay attention and learn from it. If you’ve attracted one narcissist, you WILL attract more. Learn so you can spot them in the future. You could save yourself a lifetime of trouble.
@@mr.anonym4050 you are not a narcissist. She sounds like a bully at minimum and time away from her will help you gain clarity. Good on you for deciding what you did.
@Sumixam Aix Narcissism is a real disease. It’s not a choice to act like a narcissist. It’s like Asperger’s where they have weird tendencies that make people annoyed but they don’t do it on purpose.
@@chrisking6695 if they don't do it on purpose, then why do narcissists enjoy watching you suffer? Why do they find your pain and confusion humorous???
It's even easier to spot a narcissist because whatever you say he or she always makes it to be about them. Even if you are dying in cancer they have stories about the time when they defeated a terminal illness.
I agree. what I have found is, whatever you talk about many times the Narcissist will say his most favored word "I". as in I like, I don't like, I did, I didn't, I can tell you I. it makes him part of your story, or the convocation.
The best thing I did was record him on my iPad for 5 months before I got out. He changed his story so many times and I had it all, rants, rages and threats, he had absolutely no idea until after I was gone. I learned SO much from listening to the way he spoke to me on the recordings when he went out, it was a pattern and in the last 3 weeks, once he started, I totally ignored him and let him rant which enraged him because I wasn’t responding. Other times I answered back with comments that were like a punch right between his eyes. I became totally unpredictable and he didn’t know how to handle it. Several times after horrible verbal and emotional abuse, he almost pleaded with me to try again, he would give me the same 5 minute speech about how he wanted us to work, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side etc etc….then he stopped, looked at me and I just said ‘NO’, he went into total meltdown. He bought my share of the house we had only bought 3 months earlier, that took the feet from under him as now he’s got a mortgage, had to sell stocks and shares, has to pay all the bills and the embarrassment that after that short time the neighbours saw me leave, I told them exactly why. You have to be strong, stand tall, fix your crown and REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE. no man treats you less than their Queen. In the 5 months since I left, every woman has dumped him, he’s back on the dating website looking for a new victim, he’s 66 now and he will not end up alone, he will have the company of his inner demons and they will eat him alive. 👍
You couldn’t see me if I’d been in your home for the last year. You won’t know and you don’t know everyone and everything so you can not make that statement, factually. Theoretically, maybe, but NEVER factually. Your energy is there for us to feed on by doing things that you may not even realize we did to make you feel how we want you to. By the time a real manipulator is done with you, you will question everything down to your own self worth. Don’t try to tell anyone that you can see anything from a mile away as they and I am not all the same I possess humility which can be more or less dangerous, at will, and I am not a narcissist as I am a people person and love humanity for everything it is. But, I’ll tell you right now, you’ve been had today at least once by a narcissistic manipulator if you’ve left your house or spoke to anyone you don’t know. I choose but a narcissist can’t choose, majority of the time, as they are single minded and out for what they can get from others or another without giving anything of theirs. It tends to either end quickly or completely ruin the partners or other persons life and realistic view of themself and the world because it distorts everything you believe without letting you know by just planting a seed we can do what we want with you. Manipulation isn’t textbook and you won’t learn it. It’s an art, something people are born with. Keep in mind that I am never, under any circumstances, condoning manipulation of any kind but we do it to each other daily just for things like company and friendship or conversation, etc. GET OVER IT AND JUST STOP BEING DUMB!!! Read a book or something! You know those things people used to get real information from going back to the freakin 800s or something like that. You think manipulation and narcissists didn’t exist back then? Yes they did, they wrote a ton of things we use to “learn” today. They were manipulators, mostly narcissistic. It has and will be and you will always be a victim until you aren’t which won’t end for as far as I can see with a comment like that.🤣🤣🤣 nice job on the 14 likes though, really reached a ton of people, eh? Maybe this will spur some debate here.🤣🤣💩
Yes when i first figured out her disorder through reading others experiences i hadnt gotten to that part yet and told her after an ugly text to me making me the bad guy that she is not an empath so whowver told her that was wrong and the she was in fact a narcissist. Boy she texted back "Look here bitch" etc etc... Suddenly the cool calm blame and projection of everything being my fault was gone and the claws came out cuz i hit a nerve! Lolol... I still laugh at how her "mask" fell off quickly once she was found out! I was done for after that and she tole me shes done trying to show me thats she has good in her! Aww the fairytale they love telling themselves! Its very sad!
Just being devils advocate here but , would anyone actually not hate it when you called them a narcissist? It’s not the nicest term and that would be quite awkward and embarrassing for anyone
My children would say that of me... and I was at times during my life. My own abuse had caused havoc on how I dealt with life & who I let control me too. I stayed married to their father who abused me for 25 years. Now after 15 years of freedom & counseling I am a different person. I still pay the price for years ago... all of us are on journeys. Boundaries yes! Grace, mercy and forgiveness also when people own stuff & do the work!
A simple test to see if you are dealing with a Narcissist. Just say no. Set boundaries and maintain them. If she/he flips a shit, then you know your dealing with a narc and you need to run not walk away from him/her.
@@Followmybliss777 - Amen to you 🙏 🙌. I've never felt more freedom than to have done the same. I'm done, with being her punching bag, done with listening to her disdain, her lecturing, her insults, her whining, her sabotaging me. Btw- I'm 67 yrs, she's 94 yrs. It never stops. . .
Just got blocked because I did not as I would the things he says but was told I was a narcissist but I'm not strong enough to hear u and not let my emotions take over so no I don't wanna pick up she deleted all messages then blocked me I loved her and it was all a act smh
Whoa, that’s why it feels like I’m targeted by them. I’m naturally very expressive, which they feed on. I never realized this. Thank you so much for this insight. It’ll help me make sure my energy doesn’t feed them.
That's is, it's just a "feeling". Narcissism Personality Disorder is extremally rare and we mislabel narcissists all the time. But, to give you a more abstract answer. You attract what you are or should I say you attract the unhealed parts inside of you. This gives you a physical manifestation on the "outside" of said traits to engage, learn from, and heal from. The best way to became better than toxic traits, is to deal with them in another and realize you never want to be like that.
@@Nos7algiKyou are a fool, everybody knows opposites attract, it is a saying as old as time. If you are a kind, caring, giving person you will attract cruel, selfish, users. You must keep your walls up, your guard up and don't react to every emotion people portray, they control their emotions not yours and you are not required to sacrifice your time, money and attention for others, or bad people will see you as a stupid sucker to be used and abused as long as they can get away with it. Use discernment and get to know someone well before you go assisting them. Don't assume everyone is like you, kind and caring there to help, they aren't.😁👍
It's really not this would require you or, him to be a mind reader and, know there intent. This is armchair psychology at best and, a gross misrepresentation so people can generalize andz ignore their bad behaviors and, the role they have in a relationship.
@@joshuareynolds23 Or more like you are putting on a performance to be fake outraged, because maybe you took a psychology course at some point, and feel like you need to be recognized. I'm mostly joking, but kiss my ass with this mind reader stuff. He's 100% correct if you have experience with these personality types, and they are constantly putting on performances that are deeply ingrained, and even subconscious.
@@2wenty7 Mid 80's. My generation makes fun of people that say "bruh", and use emojis to laugh at their own jokes. Speaking of... Your joke makes no sense in wtf you are talking about.
I did saidonce. Got an eye roll response or moody facial expression at me. So I also added "Gosh you are always moody lately. Think you need space as thats not an energy I want to deal with uncommunicated." The response was that of a 2 year old told no to another sweet in the shop and yes, it was always my fault they were feeling that way. I once said that I am not in control of their feelings or behaviour, they are. It made them worse. Once I got the silebt treatment, thats when I made my exit.
I've called them energy thieves for just about my entire adult life. I stay completely away from them. At work, it's work conversation and platitudes. Then I walk away. They do there work not me. Their anxiety belongs to them, not me.
Once my ex narc said he didn't like mirrors because he thought that when he looked in one he might not see his reflection. I didn't understand at the time. Now I do.
My mother would cry and say things to guilt trip me. "I would never do my mother this way", but her parents were TOXIC. She'd pout to make us feel bad. I'm just learning about all this. I've stopped talking to her.
I was in a relationship for a year. When we broke up it's like the veil was lifted. As I reminisced about our conversations it dawned on me: she never asked about me. My day. My thoughts. I was always just a participant in a conversation about her. She tried coming back, and at that point I could clearly hear she just missed attention. Even when she was asking for me back, it was about how she felt, about how sad she was, about what she wanted. Narcissism is about pulling you to them to satiate their ego.
Well you got off "easy", in a sense. The less they know about you, the better. Just lastnight, I started going no contact with someone who knows all of my past and doubts and insecurities... And they have all of my personal I.D. information, etc... Bout to find out how this all unfolds
It's what victims of a toxic family think because they haven't known any better and they attract those kind of people in life too. So you found yourself surrounded by those kind of people and think that that's the normality. You also might find yourself doing the same because it's the only way you have learned to ask for what you want and to obtain attentions. But the point is that it's not the normality at all. Usually people communicate their need to each other and give and take what they can without forcing got pushing the others to do anything they don't want or they don't feel comfortable doing.
This guy in this video sound like he's talking something he's been taught.....or he's letting certain specifics be known to illicit a response. A performance even. Think about it.
That’s because he’s talking about emotional blackmail. Just because people behave like this occasionally doesn’t mean they have a disorder/psychopathology. It’s only when this behaviour is consistent in their behaviour and relationships most of the time that these labels fit. I looked this guy up and he’s a life coach, which is fair enough. But he’s not a psychologist or psychiatrist (correct me if I’m wrong). So I can’t help but feel this video is generalising too much and he doesn’t seem to have any evidence to back it. Some people just behave badly sometimes. It doesn’t mean they’re ill.
This does not always necessarily indicate narcissism from a professional perspective. People can have learned behaviors that are toxic and still not fully meet the criteria for being a narcissist. Important note: Everyone has toxic traits or has some form of unhealthy behavior. Everyone. This includes you. It’s easy to feel like you are being victimized whenever you are hurt but it’s extremely possible that you could inadvertently be doing something to put yourself in this situation or worsen the situation. Often whenever people argue, they are BOTH in the wrong. People always want to hear things like what’s in this video to add to their confirmation bias collection that they are the ones who have been wronged. Always communicate whenever someone is wronging you, obviously, but also always be willing to TRULY accept responsibility for wrongdoings that you might not even recognize exist. Your ego can blind you more than anything.
I don't agree, with a great deal of this, First of all the notion that when both people argue they're both wrong When both people fight or have a disagreement or whatever when two people are involved they're both wrong, I get so sick of that it takes two to tango story because this is how so much abuse is going under the radar Especially with the covert codependent fragile narcissist In my experience an observation of different people's patterns in the past from relationships, to deep discussions with my siblings about their relationships, to case studies, you name it Really taking a look at this stuff And then getting cornered in a horrible way for almost 6 years, by someone with extreme emotional problems, That started coming out slowly as time went on And I didn't know what it was at first And I began to realize that no oh my God no no no no no It is so unfair to the people that have been in relationships where there was horrific psychological abuse, emotional abuse manipulation, constantly provoked, tormented, I was living with a severe alcoholic who had lost a child, and for the first year I let him have a lot of comfort and leeway And when I began setting boundaries down is when we started to have problems and I noticed all of these terrible traits He would follow me around almost 24/7, almost demanding my attention, and would not stop, I could not carry out my daily functions, I could hardly even go to the bathroom The mix of alcoholism and shock, And he would literally corner me, he would wake me up in the middle of the night several times a night, long after I had asked him to stop, I had tried everything from reasonable conversations, There was no way I was going to get this person into therapy, I was still trying to figure out just what the hell was going on in his brain Long story short I began to notice a pattern for a very long time, that this person would be entertained by provoking me into long pointless arguments And if you listen to just about any psychologist talk about covert narcissism especially That is one of their signature tactics, they love to provoke you, torment you, or lure you into a long drawn-out argument that goes nowhere He used to laugh and say well I like to play devil's advocate, but I would notice that there was no purpose to it, it was not for the sake of healthy conflict resolution, or so that the both of us could feel better or get anything solved It was for his enjoyment, his own entertainment, the minute he would see me start to get distressed, confused, upset, he would start feeling high literally superior, his energy would go up, total energy vampire, empty, And he would literally torment and provoke me even drag me out of bed at night can't wake me up just whenever he wanted to be entertained Or needed something, and I was cornered a lot of nights to the point where I had to run out of the house and sleep in my car Of course I eventually ended up getting away from this person, But I spent a lot of years with him because I didn't know what this was, I was confused, and I deeply cared about this person he was a friend who had lost a child, And I knew him pretty well, but not well enough to know these things until we started living behind closed doors together And yes if you stay with someone like that and don't leave I guess the first moment that they get weird, and you let them provoke you yes there is such a thing as reactional abuse And I think that's mostly what you're referring to is if you stand there and you get emotionally abusive back towards that person, or loud and aggressive then you are just as wrong as they are I agree up to a certain point If you continue staying with someone like that year after year, and never attempt to make any changes or leave and you continually reactionally abuse them back Argue get violent things like that then eventually yes you look just as bad as they do Because you couldn't control your reaction to them and tolerate the horrific psychological and emotional abuse and mental cruelty and possible physical violence or whatever they were putting you under at the time Well psychologist will let you know professionals will tell you and studies show That any normal non-abusive person when placed in an extremely stressful situation like that will react out of character That it is in fact quite normal for you to react with outrage, anger, in fact I had been traumatized as a young girl and sexually assaulted by my father and beaten so if a drunk man comes and wakes me up in my sleep and starts dragging me out of bed as my boyfriend did I'm going to come up swinging End of story, and no I'm not just as bad as he is, no I'm not in the wrong And so by going through this experience, I like to spread Awareness on the fact that Too many cases out there are getting swept under the rug as just your usual old domestic disturbance two toxic people, two wrong people When actually there are many many cases where one person was actually minding their own business, they weren't doing anything wrong at all They were being hounded pressured, coerced, tormented, psychologically twisted, until complete Insanity just driven mad by a certain type of narcissist and there are many different types And some people are even worse physically assaulted and other things And so these types of narcissists are getting away with it these types of narcissistic abusers Especially the covert they love to come in and slowly over time wear down all of your wonderful characteristics your calm nature, your motivation everything beautiful about you They love to provoke a response from you they live for that that's part of what keeps them going in life, is going around getting reactions from people good or bad And if they can drive you to insanity or raging and screaming and begging for mercy and losing your mind then that's what they will do I was tormented nearly to death And I didn't have anywhere to go at the time And he laughed about it he enjoyed it And I wasn't doing anything wrong, I was asleep a lot of the time, or cooking food or minding my own business trying to run a household This person was severely disturbed, and I want to speak up for all those people who have ever Loved someone or they know they were not doing anything wrong And they were so tormented and abused by someone else coming after them constantly That hell yes they flipped out and got angry and rightly so Hell yes they stood there and spoke up for themselves, they attempted to work with the person they loved, they spoke up loud and proud and told the truth about things Set boundaries or fought that person off did whatever they needed to do And I'm getting tired of these narcissistic abusers skating off into the sunset Having ruined another person's reputation and their life and people thinking oh well that was just another toxic couple both of them were wrong Because I deeply love that person and I've been over backwards to be the absolute best girlfriend I could ever be And he sabotaged and tormented every bit of it The only thing I was wrong for was sticking around too long and letting it turn into my reaction which made him feel entertained I really don't feel a damn bit guilty for standing up for myself, setting boundaries and not letting him trample all over me 24/7 But yes this is how it mostly looks to society and I think it's sad and unfortunate because there's usually one person that was trying really hard to do the right thing Now if you continue to stay, and you don't ever do anything about it, then yes you will become a reactional abuser, you will look just as bad as they are and eventually you'll become just as bad as they are if you don't get out.
Oh and another thing sure we're all toxic in one way or another, But not necessarily, there are people like myself for instance, who grew up in nothing but abuse, dysfunction toxicity trauma and had relationships like that for a lot of my life But who have also been in therapy for a long number of years, and been very determined to become extremely mindful and self-aware And work on ourselves to the best of our ability to where we don't react in toxic ways I wouldn't say we don't have faults, I'll always have a dark side, I'll always have a balance of healthy narcissism and healthy empathy I don't believe in being a doormat anymore I should have never but that was my traumatic upbringing There has to be a balance with everything or people will just get walked on that's just the world we live in But to say we are all toxic, I just feel that's inaccurate We are all flawed, we all have problems, but toxic to me is some whole other level It's generally where a person doesn't realize themselves, they lack self-awareness, usually like accountability, and inside into themselves And on the flip side A lot of people are aware of their own toxicity I mean I get it, people do toxic things if you want to look at it from that perspective like I don't know neglect themselves, or binge watch too much netflix, or don't have good time management, or procrastinate, I mean I guess a lot of those human behaviors could be considered toxic But when I think of toxic I really think of manipulators, I think of people who are living in a certain type of mentality With a lot of unhealed wounds or unresolved issues, that they are basically putting all over other people without care Without any regard for others I guess everyone views it differently I think just like with narcissism being on a spectrum, so is empathy, addiction can be on a spectrum, it can all come in degrees I think toxicity can as well.. I just can't stand over generalizations And I've had to be around too many different experiences, to realize that it's not all that easily summed up and it's not all that black and white There are major differences, I'm sure what's toxic in one person's eyes may not be toxic in another person's but The situations in the past where it did turn out to be two very toxic individuals together Both of them equally sick, equally pathological, equally starting trouble with each other, and going in circles and getting nowhere Have made it really tough for good honest, authentic people who got involved in something where they truly were in the right lane, they were trying everything they could to be a good person to the other person, and getting completely sabotaged the entire time, and I experienced this very thing Now of course I will hold myself accountable, for staying there, and trying to work through those things, and giving that person more time, and eventually reacting Absolutely but I like to get down into the fine details of who started it, what is the exact problem here and if people just gloss over those things, too many real predators and abusers are getting away with it And laughing off into the sunset because that's what they came to do As I explained in an earlier comment they come in to take away all of your beautiful qualities and bring you down to the level they are on because they are so miserable there and don't want to work on it Especially the covert narcissist I lived with it for so many years They are desperate to look good, get all the praise, get all the credit, like a little bitty child who didn't get enough when they were small and most of them didn't And they will work on you and siphon those things slowly away from you to where you were just a puddle of insanity and frustration And they will stand tall on your energy and go get on the internet and impress people with what you taught them, or what they stole from your ideas While you're laying there having a heart attack or getting sick, this is how terrible they can be And they walk off with everything they siphoned away from you, and they start running a smear campaign and telling lies about your true character and nature and they will even stand in your face and play crazy and tell you you were never there from them, you never did all those beautiful things, Knowing damn well what kind of person you actually are and how devoted that you actually were But just because you stood up to them a time or two, that's right society just writes people off as two toxic individuals, never knowing any different never knowing who was really the pathological one And it's just so unfair and unfortunate when you're hit by a covert narcissist like that But many people don't know it until it's too late, or it's right there in their house with them, they have absolutely no idea what that's like Oh and another thing.. Bottom line He's right, Confident healthy people, who are not pathological They don't have to do any of these weird and manipulative things to get their needs met Just. End of story. It's because these types many of them are insecure inferior, full of unhealed childhood wounds, lacking and emotional intelligence lacking in emotional maturity, Oh God the things I have seen in the past.. And I actually felt for them, because I knew something was off in their brain That they were very emotionally dysregulated, and I would actually fall into that, feeling empathy for them and not wanting to make them feel any more insecure and wanting to help them along But I had to learn no this guy is absolutely right, he's nailing it I've seen it first hand And I would finally get to the point where when I would see these actions and hear these types of words, phrases body language, and the dribble that comes out of their mouth Literally they will take anything, even the death of their own child, and turn it into a self-pityful little story just to get what they want from you it's ridiculous I just laugh at it these days, and I don't deal with that weak crap If you have to do weird things, sob stories, self-pity, do you know that is coercive control? And it's also considered narcissistic rage? When say for example, you just told someone no you wouldn't be able to do that for them today, you have other plans And they begin to pout, I'm talking literally piled like a 5 year old child, as my ex-boyfriend used to do and they stomp off to the back room and you can hear them back there talking under their breath and pouting, and pressuring you, and guilt tripping you And letting out a loud sigh, and everything this man is informing us of That type of pressure, that type of energy, that is narcissistic rage in one of its forms That is how they control you By wearing you down like that and many more tactics It's gross, you don't even know you're getting involved with someone that emotionally immature at first... And no you're not wrong by being disgusted by it Set up, there's absolutely nothing that will help it, you could sit there for years and try every angle every approach nothing will help And I'm sorry, but non pathological, human beings, that have a decent level of confidence, Self-awareness, they just don't have to go around acting all weird like that, or using silly tactics, or defense mechanisms or weird manipulations to get people to do things He's right.
Often when people argue, they are not necessarily both wrong. I stopped going to professionals when I realized many were trained to regurgitate the work and knowledge others had acquired but they themselves were clueless of the true understanding of this knowledge. I can find their same information from reading too. I've found thru staying in abusive and toxic relationships because I felt I was responsible for their behavior believing this bs, that the advice caused great harm to those of us that are healthy but are unable to be so when dealing with individuals who are not. Once I figured this out, there has not been one individual to take advantage of me since. And now that I know how to the play their game, I play it back and better. I for give to them their own burden and watch the house burn down.
@Candice Williams Richard is pretty familiar with his audience and subscribers many of whom are already familiar with his work. So I wouldn't call it a mistake.
Yes we all more or less have narcissistic tendencies to some degree.If you have unresolved issues you will then exhibit more because you are covering up,in denial, complacent or just plain compensating.The worst kind of narcissist is the one who is patient, cold, calculating and passive aggressive.They look down on you as being stupid and weak.They will always put themselves above you by playing gas-light-games. Why? Because they are professionals with patent answers and you don't expect that because normal people don't act that way. They look at you as normal and themselves as above normal, therefore they always have the upper hand because they stay awake at night creating new schemes to mow everyone else down like the unsuspecting weeds that they are!
Had a friend like this, needless to say we no longer talk. Im glad I realized what he was doing to me, if not I’d still be getting manipulated. The key to avoiding narcissists and sociopaths is self-awareness and self-respect.
no, its an awareness and understanding of an incurable personality disorder and refusing to let shit slide all the time and being so forgiving and ignoring the red flags these assholes know E X A C T L Y what they're doing
Agree. My mom and 2 sisters have it bad. They hate me because I have too much self respect to play with them. Something that drives them crazy is to just start laughing at them.
@@au7-721 Something else that drives them crazy; if you wear sunglasses. Someone told me about this then I tried it. Works quite well. They often do it themselves (my alcoholic covert narc sister does) to hide behind. They’re cowards. When you wear it around them it bothers them because they can’t see what you’re looking at. They need to collect data from you constantly because that’s all they do. Your eyes reveal a lot about yourself and when you conceal that from them, the same way they do towards you, it drives them crazy.
What about if someone is telling you about themselves, a negative or sad things and is being serious and just wants to talk? I few people say real people will want to talk about it and get it off their chest. So what is right and wrong here?
Oh watch out ,they are deflecting on to you rn ,and most likely they'll unload their own sh!t onto you and tell all about it.Maybe it's time to go no contact.
Oh my Lord do they ever project? My stepdaughter is an actress wanna-be, never made it in Hollyweird so she performs daily & addicted to meth & gambling & beer. Nothing is EVER her fault & she’s horrible to me & her dad. Her dad does nothing about it, I’ve evicted her from my rent house & now no contact for so many reasons. Dad isn’t on board with me, sadly. She’ll keep manipulating!
Add to this video's information "the no test." When you can feel that manipulation of you occurring, smile at them with confidence and say "no" and watch their reaction. If they are pathological they will come completely unglued, that's how you know it's time to run and not look back.
So...um, if they scream at you and have hour-long arguments you're not allowed to walk away from where they tell you they're your parents and you're GOING TO DO THIS because SEE, THAT'S A PROBLEM count as pathological and unglued? Er, asking for a friend, not that I've ever suffered such a thing. Sniff.
Uh too late. He intentionally got me pregnant. By the way as you can see his attempt at control has been a blessing for me and a frustration for him since he doesn't effect me until he messes with our son.
@@DG-EditsMedia since your so nosey he came in me fter we had been messing around for quite a while and he was either wearing a condom or pulling out. He came and told me after. So.....are you upset cause you're not getting any yourself? Maybe an attitude change, manners or a bit of empathy growth would help your cause.
@@willa4760 whats funny is you said a man got you pregnant intentionally but you were the one opening your legs allowing things to happen.. take some accountability for your actions instead of blaming everything else.. try it for once
Thank you Richard. SO exacting, SO clear in defining the core intent of a narcissist. Additionally you speak from heart and soul and from having been there yourself. Your contribution to the health and well-being and healing of those having suffered from narcissistic abuse has changed lives. on behalf of all of us who have heard your messages and talks, we thank you and are in deep gratitude for your dedication to helping the victims of narcissistic abuse.
FINALLY! I couldn't put a finger on my ex. He wasn't outwardly mean like some other narcissists I knew, but the sighs, body language (and shaming) from not doing what he wanted was overwhelming.
Aghh, same! The sighs, the face he used to make, he at times would try to break the bond between me and his daughter too, blocking me out from conversations and talking negatively about me to others to separate me from everyone. At the same time when we got to the verge of breaking up, he would apologize to me but still talk shit behind my back.
The fact that you said the word "Implied", that word for me hits the nail right on the head. They're always "implying" something and never asking straight out for what they need or want. Moving forward I think I am going to start cutting people's needs and wants out of my life whose sentences I have to finish.
This is so heartbreaking to learn when you’ve finally removed yourself from their grasp. To know that people closest to you could maliciously manipulate you to behave the way they want is sick
- Ya ' may D I S C O V E R // Realize that you are in very // V E R Y close proximity to a person who is not mentally well and may be emotionally // psychologically // // mentally A B U S I V E ((( parent // // sibling -- etc. ))) . That ' s N O T " " s i c k " " . That ' s called R E A L I T Y . - (( my opinion )) - -
I lived with a narcissists for ten years. It took me about 6 years to finally figure out (with the help of lots of therapy) that everything was not all my fault all the time. And then I made a plan, and moved out
Yeah you and every person that's been told *No* rejected, hurt or abandoned are out here playing the "my Ex was a narcissist" card. It's the easy way to avoid introspection and accountability Just project Narcism on anyone that does view you a favorable light. That's the Nature of being a Co-Dependant
I did not say he was my ex. We were "friends" when I lost my job he let me move in with him. Living with him every day, day in and day out I got to see his true colors
I wish I heard this when I was manipulated by my ex…to stay for 6 years of mind games, abuse, lies, stolen money and betrayal…so much heartache wasted on a person who had no heart.
No man, that's 6 years of being with a messed up person. To some degree you enjoyed your time, were ignorant and even now are taking no responsibility. You're messed up too. -your ex. Fr tho straight facts
@@niel3401 you are so manipulated at the time, you are run down mentally, you don't see how bad it is when your in it, you know you should get out but don't know how , your embarrassed to tell anyone , yes maybe we need to take blame for being in it so long, but it's because we fool ourselves it might get better, we get a few days of a loving caring person that's nothing like the crazy part, and we I think hold onto that is the real person when it's not . There is variants of similar to this, i too was pulled in for many years, it's not as easy as how you say it though, the manipulation goes way past what you see, and in some cases can comprehend . We all have our own experience of a similar gehaviour, our blame we need to take is having too big of an open heart and being blindly manipulated . But it's never something you blatantly see when your standing so close to it
@@wilmaknight9127 maybe if you cared just enough to learn the proper your to use, you wouldn't be clowning yourself into being with even bigger clowns i life, instead of hitting up my notification with this victim's mentality 🧐
@@niel3401 so you only look at a victim being a victim not a person ? I got control of myself thanks to stop fools like you entering my life. You have no idea what that woman endured so shut up buttercup
I believe that recognizing that you have "failed" to acknowledge the red flags, or to not action much sooner .. is taking responsibility. My ex is a big, big narcissist. And most likely the most insufferable cunt that I've ever had the misfortune of knowing. It was my mistake to sit down at his table, though. Because I had a really bad feeling. And sure thing,; he served me some fucking clown ass shit. I shoved it right back up his ass, though, which I'm sure fucked him up. And I am not in the slightest sad about it. However, I made a rookie mistake. And I paid for it. Lesson learnt.
So well explained If you’re reading this have a wonderful 2023 I hope you are free of your narcissistic relationship! Trust me it gets better than you can imagine ❤
So now Will Smith is a narcissist or he's history on it well that's the case you might as well not look at any Hollywood entertainer again because all of them display those personality characteristics Beyonce Jay Z Charlene Theron Johnny Depp Meg Ryan Oprah Winfrey Meryl Streep every talk show host that's the entire industry
The cherry on top is when you fall for it, and offer to make it better, they feign humility and ask, "Are you SURE you want to do this for me???" This is *gold* Richard!!
@@Shoultes asking if someone is sure about doing something for you isn't narcissistic in itself, it can be read as empathy and compassion. But manipulating someone into doing something for you and THEN asking if they're sure, is a classic narcissistic trait.
@@Shoultes You know better. If you help them happily when they ask, that is being a partner or an appreciative respectful friend in return. If it's only about you and your needs, you are an asshole
I'm so glad ti hear you talk about these nonverbal signals that people outside the "family" don't notice. Those sighs, the looks etc. I grew up with that and then had 2 long term relationships that were the same and honestly for a sensitive person it made me feel like I was crazy. It's only now as a 55 year old that I'm putting the pieces all together.
You speak about ALL human beings. I'm old enough to say I haven't met many people who do not try to manipulate others to get what they're after. There are even scientific and/or professional branches of "manipulation": Marketing, Publicity, Sales. Law, Acting, Movie making, Religion, etc etc
Wow love the interconnected way that you bring it all together. It’s a wonder that you haven’t gone mad. Been there before and I d rather die then have anyone else play this very sick M….F….. I will remain single then to do that again. It’s BRUTAL 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼👊🏻
I think the mistake in a lot of videos is that it is always from a “watch for THEM doing this to YOU” perspective. Don’t get me wrong, you definitely should recognize what others are actually doing, but I think it’s important to recognize your ability to manipulate, and to manipulate yourself, we are not be default righteous or harmless.
Hard agree. The quote, about pointing fingers at others and having 3 pointing back at you, comes to mind. You can't become a better person without dismantling the shell of who you "think you are (or want to be)," and really taking an honest look at what's truly underneath. I am not nearly as good of a person as I once believed. Flaws, biases, and deficiencies all around. And i think that's true for the majority of ppl if they really got real about themselves. Even after 'getting real", we still have blindspot, bc growing never stops. Not saying we're all terrible, just that we tend to judge ourselves much more favorably, graciously, and leniently than we do others. But if we examined ourselves the way we judge others, how would we really fare? What would we see about ourselves that we formerly missed or ignored?
I think I have Borderline and narcissism and I watch these videos to understand myself and look out for someone else trying to pull a me on me. I can’t have that
When our 'narc ninja skills' are developed, it gets to the point we can predict their next move based on the nature of their behavior at the moment, its usually two or three options, they become really predictable.
I was the ultimate target for these before I met my husband who taught me to cut it out and recognize their usage of my kindness. Now when this behavior starts up from anyone, I ask for their hand and I actually pray with them and for them 🤣. It's wonderful bc 9/10 times they never come to me again. The 1/10 respect me rather than use me now.
No offense intended, but I probably would try to avoid that to happen again too, but just because I'm not religious. I have been haunted by narcissists myself, and many of them pretended to be christians strangely enough.
@@KitKat-sl5mp the last narcissist that tried to take advantage of me was a fraud in this sense too. But I like what she said... because when they come for your attention/time/energy, etc and all you give them is a hand held prayer, they realize that's all they can get and that's not what they want. Sometimes it's hard to avoid if they're a part of family or community and we also don't want to look like the bad guy avoiding people since not everyone will understand. I'm not even religious but boy will I be trying this. You gonna be a fraud with me, let me give you some a fraud moment! Lol I love it!!
Richard is SOOO right! Even if the attention is negative (to “scold” them in someway), they’re still getting attention, and they LOVE that. They can’t live without attention. It’s the very air they breathe.
My boyfriend hasn't made love to me in 6 years so I think me sighing rolling my eyes acting pissed off I think it's legit I laid all month hoping to get laid one time before I get my period and then I find him on dating sites and for some reason it's so easy to just f*** a stranger
Vulnerable, covert narcissism (aka professional victims). As dangerous, if not more dangerous, than overt narcissism since many can't detect them until it's too late.
I agree. I got rid of one in less than three weeks. As a man I wanted to f her so I went along with the BS but I knew from the beginning something was waaaay off. Always trust your gut feeling!
My mom was a master manipulator, she would guilt me, lie to me, say things about me, it didn’t matter all to get me to do what she wanted. A small example would be her quietly yelling at me at a birthday party for not speaking to her first. Now, I knew this was one of her many rules, but when I became an adult I started not to care, but knew I would hear it, and oh boy, did I! No one at the party knew or if they did, they didn’t care that I was getting yelled at for an hour, that I was having a horrible time and being abused, but I sat there and took it quietly as I had done my whole life. So glad she’s deceased, and I’m not being abused anymore.
That’s why the key is to NOT respond😃I’ve been practicing it since I was 12 haha. I observed my family and told my self that I absolutely refused to remain the victim and was determined to rise above those that pray on me
I lived with this for ten years and it took me to actually look up what a narcissist is for everything to click and cause me to finally wake up. Wouldn’t wish this life on my worst enemy.
@ Toph. Yup I lost 25 years, 2 adult kids. Took another 5 years just to get my mind right again & recharge my batteries. And now I'm trying to restart my life & get back out in the world. So in total, he stole 30 years of my life. And I have nothing to show for all those years. Nothing! Got to start from scratch!
@@harperproduction3935 Says a lot that you survived that long, ten years alone nearly killed me. Honestly though, leaving and having to start all over again is still better than being in that situation. I’d rather have been dead than that.
And it's weird how those people (usually after they try anger when you stop) don't seem to "need" you anymore. Then you really see your great decisions.
Why are u "getting to know" this pattern unless u are attracting this "pattern" in the first place or u are turning people into behaving in a manner u don't like or pretend u don't like. I find those who complain about such things and him in the video are closet bullies really. Making out the other person is making things happen when its really themselves creating it all. Perhaps its paranoia and the person who sighed is just fed up of it. How dare anyone call me narcissist
I knew a women like this. When she felt I hadn't given her enough attention she'd send a voicenote sounding sad and tired saying how busy she was, not having balance in her life, then how she's ok though. Quite subtle and clever.
Mine narcissist says, “you don’t understand how I feel! “ That’s after they annihilated you with their words. It’s awful. I just dodge them and stay out of harms way whenever possible.
as i grow up i realize how i mess up myself for other people by not saying NO... trust ne learn to say NO.. never ever feel down for tht.. it will easy your life.. simple thing toxic people cant stant to NO
I got my "NO" back "or voice" now I am having to learn how to use it after it was taken from me at 6 years old. It is hard to say it and when I do it's immense guilt. I agree with you. There are times when I do say it I feel elated...then the guilt comes after. It's really hard but worth it
Human parasite like it when you open up your life garden to always serve them. The moment you change that narrative because trust me one you will be forced to this corner of change. they will start complaining you changed. The change benefits your health in every single way. Keep to that change.
Wow!! Yes Richard! You are so right and I can’t tell you how many times I have fallen for these performances. This is them in a nutshell. They may be toxic, selfish, superficial, and miserable human beings but they are excellent actors!🎭
YES Thanks for mentioning that GOD 🙏 PLEASE SET MY SONS FREE FROM EVIL ENTANGLEMENTS WELCOME HOLY SPIRIT AND THE ANOINTING THAT DESTROYS EVERY YOKE OF ENTANGLEMENT SNARES AND GREIF THOSE HAVE CAUSED THANKYOU FOR HEARING AND ANSWERING THIS PRAYER IN JESUS'NAME AMEN AMEN AND GRACE GRACE BE MULTIPLIED IN JESUS'NAME LORD ADONI AMEN
The worst is when they're charismatic or popular - usually because they can perform an entertaining act like music or sports - because they can act as shitty as they want and get others to side with them against you, which just leaves you feeling like crap afterwards. Being a good person rarely gets you the same results that abusing another person does, and that sucks.
@@hanburgundy4317 I worked with a General Manager as an Assistant Manager and that description of yours was as accurate as I have ever seen. This young lady was super good-looking and had most of the employees at her house regularly for parties. She allowed drinking on the clock, and let the waiters and bartenders hold her discount/delete Manager key card while she slept in the office or was doing her personal chores away from the restaurant. If you denied her your help in maintaining her fraud, you were soon edged out. Flirting and inclusion were dangled as rewards. She was super hot, super fun (until she wasn't), and that store was a party store for our restaurant franchise...too far away from the others to monitor. It could have been great, but having to do all her work was a problem. There was never anything too demanding to ask, she truly cared not for the suffering of those on the outside of her clique. And she would gather volunteers at her house parties to write written statements of harassment to eliminate the unwanted employees.
Well said. My husband's mother kept selling herself as a 'self sacrificing, giving mother who does so much for her family.' It was indeed a performance to get me to feel guilty enough to eat at her house two to three times a week. I quickly realised that there was huge victim mentality and guilt tripping if I didn't go to a dinner. And that whilst her performance showed that she did everything out of love - I found out that she was poisoning my food, and she was finding out information about my relationship to know exactly how to break us up. And to stop my partner and I having time for each other. She had a huge problem with other ppl being happy in a relationship and having sex. She doesn't want anyone else having sex. It was all about paying all attention to her. My wedding had to be all about her and my husband just wanted to make her happy. She caused drama cos she knew it would get my husband's attention. Now his brother is doing the same to my husband. He's asking a lot of my husband at his wedding and as a godparent, whilst I have three kids. I have totally learnt to pull away, detach. They chase me all day at events with desperation of attention but I keep running. My life is too precious. I ain't no slave. I'm gonna have fun.
That's an incestuous relationship between your hubby and his mom. Look up enmeshment by Dr. Cloud - married to mom" here on youtube. I had the same problem. It sucks!
I remember everything. He set me up from day one and I didn’t even see it coming. He’s been out of my life since March of 2019 but that disaster still haunts me. ☹️
Girl. Same!! Was taken money from me for a house that was already paid off from his 1st wife that died. Him and his piece of shit sister plotted this. May they get their karma
I agree I have never heard anyone say this before and I have watched a ton of narcissistic videos he is absolutely correct this is exactly what the two people in my life in my opinion who are narcissistic‘s do
Thankfully, I think I woke up to this a few years ago. I dated a guy who got off the bus at the wrong stop. I said I'd get him, but to stay where he was. He moved twice. I was FUMING. He travels on public transport for his job. We didn't last long after this as he kept showing me someone completely different from who I'd known as a friend for 3 years. The minute I ended it, he'd walk past me and completely ignore me. VERY lucky escape.
This made me cry. My husband of 23 years but more heartbreaking is this is spot on my teenage daughter even more. 😢 And he won’t parent so I am so chronically sick and emotionally depleted. Thank you for this and all your videos. ❤
I'm diagnosed with histrionic p.d. Working through these character defects is a STRUGGLE. It takes legitimate effort to not make someone want to help me.
In Islam there is a prayer: please god protect/ prevent us from our self lack... (Of course you don't have to take it if you don't believe♡) self awareness and correcting our behavior is a higher form of humanity... sadly we don't all come to see how we hurt others and yet another generation is lost
The sad thing is, if someone genuinely does have some of these personality disorders, they may not even be aware that they are doing it. It's going to take time, self work, and a patient person to help wake them up to it. I'm not saying anybody owes them, and no one should ever be a punching bag for someone else, but a lot of borderline and histrionic people are completely in the dark about their own issues. I was with someone for 10 years, I could not figure him out, he had all of these issues that were listed in the video above. It wasn't until we approached 30, did I realize, that he truly was suffering from a personality disorder, and he didn't even know it, could not admit to it, and would not talk to a therapist. I no longer know this person anymore, nor do I desire to. But I do remember, on my way out, that he was slowly becoming more and more awake and aware of his issues. I hope he's healthy, and I hope he is wiser and more self-aware. But that is it. Sorry, I just wanted to share that.
Mine are "new" upstairs neighbors and this couple has made my life a living hell for 4 months now. They both have rages and have made me their target for their supply. It almost feels demonic. Especially when it's complete strangers living right above you who you were only ever kind to. It's like a sick thrill for them to harass me daily as if I'm their human slot machine. Will we get the bells to ring and hit the jackpot today? And it NEVER ends no matter what approach I've tried. These people are very real even far outside of families and relationships. They show up as complete strangers with zero empathy or boundaries. They are professional energy vampires. Everything shared in this video is spot on.
So many revelations about my mother & Gma being this way my entire life to manipulate me away from being my true self. Always tried to turn me into a version of them. All the controlling, overbearing, smothering actions all in the name of "helping me". 2018 started my awakening about all this toxicity & I continue to have things revealed all the time. I've always felt drained around them & couldn't handle being around them very often, but they force themselves into my life & never cared how inconvenient it might be for me. It's overwhelming. I feel like I'm in the bottom of a landfill trying to figure out which mountain of trash to try climbing first. Thank you for these words that are helping me along my journey. ✌️
We don't always get what we want and that includes your mom and grandma. Just because they're older doesn't mean they're mentally sound. I dealt with this my whole life and if you're young become as self sufficient as you can. They're just playing a stupid head game with your life.
My mother was mentally ill, abusive and psychopathic. I was 33 when I cut her out of my life, best thing I ever did although at time it felt a huge thing to do. You go through emotions of it being your mother how could you cut her off and false senses of family bonds and loyalty etc. However if it is a toxic existence then I say to any of you reading cut them out. My only regret is not doing it sooner, I lost the first three decades of my life to her.
It wasn't money they took I had none ,but took so much more,my self respect ,my confidence ,almost all of my energy ,I barely recognized myself in the mirror ,the funniest thing she said was I made her hit me,when i got rid,she made up loads of stuff up about me on socail media it was horrible,i hope that demon ends up where she belongs in hell,I'm better now and hope you are to.
Alp he ever wants is money /from day one and i had just become disabled by an accidebt..and can barely walk/ and he came in and started helping me not telling me he was married with 4 children..i feel after 10 years like im the narciccist now..i dont remember the last time i saw the light of the day ..
For those of you who don’t know who Richard is - listen up - this guy is one of the best on the net. He gives very good advice. Thanks for all you do Mr. Grannon.
I wish I'd known in 1993. A friend tried to warn me but wouldn't explain. She had known him for YEARS!!! I did get 2 beautiful children from the marriage, but back then I had no idea what a narcissist was. I finally got somewhat away from him but it was hell and still is because of our children. Long story I don't want to bother anyone with the details.
As a recovered BPDisordered person i can tell you it was never a performance for me. I genuinely was a victim in my childhood and believed that was who i was until i got the help and healing i needed to be able to grow up and leave my Victimhood behind. Having BPD was horrendous!! I wouldn't wish it on anyone 😢
And one more thing. When they made mistakes. That one thing you need to pay attention closely. They will NEVER accept the mistake they made and only to blame you for making them to do mistakes. That happened to me few times. That’s when I realize that they’re narcissistic so I ignored and move on. Not wasting my energy on them.
Damn. So a few days ago I bought a lava lamp and set it up and my girlfriend complained that I will accidentally break it because it’s in a bad spot, and I said no I’m careful I’ll step over the wire, then the next day she tripped o me the wire, it smashed and she blamed me for it because I left it there and it was a bad spot but it was all my fault.
Keep my wife's name out of your accurate analysis!
😂😂😂
Ditto lol
Hahahaha
And my ex bf
🤣😂🤣
The less I react, the more angry they become.
100% true 👍
Exactly! "How dare you not care about me?!"
They feed off emotion.... Which is absolutely disgusting!!
YES!!!!! OMG! I have told people that I had discussions with about narcissism “you must have been looking into the window of my life!”
Yep. Your attention is their drug and it feeds their supply. Case in point: after I exposed her, my narcissistic former friends/colleague went into hiding and off the grid. Perhaps in her twisted mind, she thought she was punishing me by withholding her attention. I was already well on to her games at that point so I took the opportunity to block her on everything and change my number. I later heard, through the grapevine, that she completely lost her mind when I went no-contact with her. After all the crap she pulled and garbage she created with her destructive behavior, she's somehow expected me to still run to her rescue and be on her side. Delusional.
Here's another side of it. They interpret every facial expression and breath you take as an attack on them, or a criticism of them and go off the wall on you.
No, mine remembered all the facial expressions, saw what annoyed me and played on it. I got wise to it and tried not to respond, it drove him nuts.
@@hhsg11 I hope you ultimately just dumped him.
@@stompthedragon4010 yes I did thank you. 👍. I turned everything back on him and exposed him to the neighbours after months of hell. I’m away 5 months and he’s back on dating websites looking for another victim. Obviously my replacement dumped him too. He’s 66 with destroyed lives in his wake, but he didn’t destroy me and he HATES me for it.
@@hhsg11 Good for you! Sad for them and new victims but we can't change or save them.
@@stompthedragon4010 thank you. We can’t save any of them or try and change a narc, it’s not our job. I want a complete man, not a project.
Performers can deal with criticism, narcissists can't.
Oh, for sure
If I said anything, it was looked upon as criticism, but he felt ‘entitled’ to say what he wanted to me. We ended it over a YAWN…yes a YAWN. At 6:30 am he bellowed like a foghorn that would have wakened up the whole street, flagging his arms around in a stretch then banged them on the bed. In a jokey way I mentioned it in song form and he went absolutely mental, screaming that I shouldn’t have said anything at all. He went out for a couple of hours, came back and started a rage where he threatened me twice. That was me done, 3 months later I was gone, he had to buy my share of a house we had only bought 3 months earlier. The verbal and emotional abuse was so bad with him barging into my bedroom at all hours without knocking that I had to put a camera in…that kept him out. What he didn’t know was that I was recording his rants, rages etc on my iPad as evidence before I moved out, he only found out after I was gone. All that because of a YAWN, which he wanted me to APOLOGISE for mentioning it.
They can't deal eith - NO.
Just say no and see how they react.
Ask them the difference between free speech and hate speech and they will look at you blankly and then get angry if you tell them that they are NOT the same thing.😮 This is insightful thank-U.
🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉❤😂
We all have narcissistic tendencies but the difference is the level in which the individual pursues their personal gain to the detriment of others health, well-being and happiness.
@@mr.anonym4050 No, but she possibly is.
@@mr.anonym4050 If it’s true, pay attention and learn from it. If you’ve attracted one narcissist, you WILL attract more. Learn so you can spot them in the future. You could save yourself a lifetime of trouble.
@@mr.anonym4050 you are not a narcissist. She sounds like a bully at minimum and time away from her will help you gain clarity. Good on you for deciding what you did.
No.
@@emil5884 if you know about dark triads you know that we all have these negative tendencies to some extent it is part of being human
It’s all about your response….silence is truly golden when dealing with a narcissist.
@Sumixam Aix Narcissism is a real disease. It’s not a choice to act like a narcissist. It’s like Asperger’s where they have weird tendencies that make people annoyed but they don’t do it on purpose.
Just smile & nod.🙂
@@chrisking6695 if they don't do it on purpose, then why do narcissists enjoy watching you suffer? Why do they find your pain and confusion humorous???
@@chrisking6695No it isn't, take responsibility.
It worked on my ex
It's even easier to spot a narcissist because whatever you say he or she always makes it to be about them. Even if you are dying in cancer they have stories about the time when they defeated a terminal illness.
That's my mother in law !
My mother
I agree. what I have found is, whatever you talk about many times the Narcissist will say his most favored word "I". as in I like, I don't like, I did, I didn't, I can tell you I. it makes him part of your story, or the convocation.
Yes, but also be careful with that, sometimes people do that as a way of empathizing, of saying, " I get it, I relate."
they get angry and attack you if you critisize them
The best thing I did was record him on my iPad for 5 months before I got out. He changed his story so many times and I had it all, rants, rages and threats, he had absolutely no idea until after I was gone. I learned SO much from listening to the way he spoke to me on the recordings when he went out, it was a pattern and in the last 3 weeks, once he started, I totally ignored him and let him rant which enraged him because I wasn’t responding. Other times I answered back with comments that were like a punch right between his eyes. I became totally unpredictable and he didn’t know how to handle it. Several times after horrible verbal and emotional abuse, he almost pleaded with me to try again, he would give me the same 5 minute speech about how he wanted us to work, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side etc etc….then he stopped, looked at me and I just said ‘NO’, he went into total meltdown. He bought my share of the house we had only bought 3 months earlier, that took the feet from under him as now he’s got a mortgage, had to sell stocks and shares, has to pay all the bills and the embarrassment that after that short time the neighbours saw me leave, I told them exactly why.
You have to be strong, stand tall, fix your crown and REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE. no man treats you less than their Queen. In the 5 months since I left, every woman has dumped him, he’s back on the dating website looking for a new victim, he’s 66 now and he will not end up alone, he will have the company of his inner demons and they will eat him alive. 👍
You rock !!
Expressions of the heart
I can spot them really quickly and most of them know I know. I just remain deadpan.
My energy isn't theirs to harvest.
Well done
LMAO...
Wow. I think "mirroring" can be recognized.
@@dainismichelvery much so.
You couldn’t see me if I’d been in your home for the last year. You won’t know and you don’t know everyone and everything so you can not make that statement, factually. Theoretically, maybe, but NEVER factually. Your energy is there for us to feed on by doing things that you may not even realize we did to make you feel how we want you to. By the time a real manipulator is done with you, you will question everything down to your own self worth. Don’t try to tell anyone that you can see anything from a mile away as they and I am not all the same I possess humility which can be more or less dangerous, at will, and I am not a narcissist as I am a people person and love humanity for everything it is. But, I’ll tell you right now, you’ve been had today at least once by a narcissistic manipulator if you’ve left your house or spoke to anyone you don’t know. I choose but a narcissist can’t choose, majority of the time, as they are single minded and out for what they can get from others or another without giving anything of theirs. It tends to either end quickly or completely ruin the partners or other persons life and realistic view of themself and the world because it distorts everything you believe without letting you know by just planting a seed we can do what we want with you. Manipulation isn’t textbook and you won’t learn it. It’s an art, something people are born with. Keep in mind that I am never, under any circumstances, condoning manipulation of any kind but we do it to each other daily just for things like company and friendship or conversation, etc. GET OVER IT AND JUST STOP BEING DUMB!!! Read a book or something! You know those things people used to get real information from going back to the freakin 800s or something like that. You think manipulation and narcissists didn’t exist back then? Yes they did, they wrote a ton of things we use to “learn” today. They were manipulators, mostly narcissistic. It has and will be and you will always be a victim until you aren’t which won’t end for as far as I can see with a comment like that.🤣🤣🤣 nice job on the 14 likes though, really reached a ton of people, eh? Maybe this will spur some debate here.🤣🤣💩
A narcissist HATES IT when someone knows their antics and what they are, and especially when they call them out in front of others.
Exactly!
It’s my favorite pastime.
Yep they start smearing your name and getting people to hate you..And block you and give you silent treatment
Yes when i first figured out her disorder through reading others experiences i hadnt gotten to that part yet and told her after an ugly text to me making me the bad guy that she is not an empath so whowver told her that was wrong and the she was in fact a narcissist. Boy she texted back "Look here bitch" etc etc... Suddenly the cool calm blame and projection of everything being my fault was gone and the claws came out cuz i hit a nerve! Lolol... I still laugh at how her "mask" fell off quickly once she was found out! I was done for after that and she tole me shes done trying to show me thats she has good in her! Aww the fairytale they love telling themselves! Its very sad!
Just being devils advocate here but , would anyone actually not hate it when you called them a narcissist? It’s not the nicest term and that would be quite awkward and embarrassing for anyone
My children would say that of me... and I was at times during my life. My own abuse had caused havoc on how I dealt with life & who I let control me too. I stayed married to their father who abused me for 25 years. Now after 15 years of freedom & counseling I am a different person. I still pay the price for years ago... all of us are on journeys. Boundaries yes! Grace, mercy and forgiveness also when people own stuff & do the work!
A simple test to see if you are dealing with a Narcissist. Just say no. Set boundaries and maintain them. If she/he flips a shit, then you know your dealing with a narc and you need to run not walk away from him/her.
The relief of knowing what my mother is and that I’m not crazy has been life changing
💖
Yes I gave up on speaking to my mother - finally healing.
Like mommy, like child...
Yep Same!!! Total mind f@ck
@@Followmybliss777 - Amen to you 🙏 🙌. I've never felt more freedom than to have done the same. I'm done, with being her punching bag, done with listening to her disdain, her lecturing, her insults, her whining, her sabotaging me. Btw- I'm 67 yrs, she's 94 yrs. It never stops. . .
He's spot on. And when you refuse to serve them, and call them out on their behavior, they explode. The best approach is to give no response at all.
Gray rock...
Just got blocked because I did not as I would the things he says but was told I was a narcissist but I'm not strong enough to hear u and not let my emotions take over so no I don't wanna pick up she deleted all messages then blocked me I loved her and it was all a act smh
@@kidsavage86 you sure she didn't block you because of your poor grammar?
@@Christofurr na got away with a 7gs cash down payment for a house and used police to clean her mess lol troll
@@kidsavage86 where tf does 7g suffice as a down payment? You must be out in the boonies.
Absolutely nailed it! And when you DO NOT RESPOND in ANY way.... they can’t handle it!
Whoa, that’s why it feels like I’m targeted by them. I’m naturally very expressive, which they feed on. I never realized this. Thank you so much for this insight. It’ll help me make sure my energy doesn’t feed them.
That's is, it's just a "feeling". Narcissism Personality Disorder is extremally rare and we mislabel narcissists all the time.
But, to give you a more abstract answer. You attract what you are or should I say you attract the unhealed parts inside of you. This gives you a physical manifestation on the "outside" of said traits to engage, learn from, and heal from. The best way to became better than toxic traits, is to deal with them in another and realize you never want to be like that.
Can you say this another way please? I kinda get it but want to understand more.
@@Nos7algiKyou are a fool, everybody knows opposites attract, it is a saying as old as time. If you are a kind, caring, giving person you will attract cruel, selfish, users. You must keep your walls up, your guard up and don't react to every emotion people portray, they control their emotions not yours and you are not required to sacrifice your time, money and attention for others, or bad people will see you as a stupid sucker to be used and abused as long as they can get away with it. Use discernment and get to know someone well before you go assisting them. Don't assume everyone is like you, kind and caring there to help, they aren't.😁👍
"Remember at all times what you are dealing with is a performance."
Wow spot on.
It's really not this would require you or, him to be a mind reader and, know there intent. This is armchair psychology at best and, a gross misrepresentation so people can generalize andz ignore their bad behaviors and, the role they have in a relationship.
Gold Almighty. It's Norma Desmond level.
@@joshuareynolds23 Or more like you are putting on a performance to be fake outraged, because maybe you took a psychology course at some point, and feel like you need to be recognized. I'm mostly joking, but kiss my ass with this mind reader stuff. He's 100% correct if you have experience with these personality types, and they are constantly putting on performances that are deeply ingrained, and even subconscious.
@@Danielson1818bruh.. really? You were born late 90’s, correct😂you’re part of 👈that👉 generation
@@2wenty7 Mid 80's. My generation makes fun of people that say "bruh", and use emojis to laugh at their own jokes. Speaking of... Your joke makes no sense in wtf you are talking about.
I call it out. I ask, “what is all that huffing and puffing about? Do you need something?” I didn’t take a class in mind reading, so use your words.”
What was the response?
I did saidonce. Got an eye roll response or moody facial expression at me. So I also added "Gosh you are always moody lately. Think you need space as thats not an energy I want to deal with uncommunicated."
The response was that of a 2 year old told no to another sweet in the shop and yes, it was always my fault they were feeling that way.
I once said that I am not in control of their feelings or behaviour, they are. It made them worse.
Once I got the silebt treatment, thats when I made my exit.
Everyone calls it out dipshit 😆 what do you think youre saying here exactly?
@@rachelthompson7487 it's a declaration of war to them
and then receive deflection of what you did in the past thats similar to your mind being read and now theyre the victim
I've called them energy thieves for just about my entire adult life. I stay completely away from them. At work, it's work conversation and platitudes. Then I walk away. They do there work not me. Their anxiety belongs to them, not me.
Same, being a nurse I’ve worked with countless of them! Dam energy vampires
Once my ex narc said he didn't like mirrors because he thought that when he looked in one he might not see his reflection. I didn't understand at the time. Now I do.
My mother would cry and say things to guilt trip me. "I would never do my mother this way", but her parents were TOXIC. She'd pout to make us feel bad. I'm just learning about all this. I've stopped talking to her.
I was in a relationship for a year. When we broke up it's like the veil was lifted. As I reminisced about our conversations it dawned on me: she never asked about me. My day. My thoughts. I was always just a participant in a conversation about her. She tried coming back, and at that point I could clearly hear she just missed attention. Even when she was asking for me back, it was about how she felt, about how sad she was, about what she wanted. Narcissism is about pulling you to them to satiate their ego.
She was touched funny when she was little or she was made in to one
Well you got off "easy", in a sense. The less they know about you, the better. Just lastnight, I started going no contact with someone who knows all of my past and doubts and insecurities... And they have all of my personal I.D. information, etc... Bout to find out how this all unfolds
@@poboy8490
Your contact info? Ouch. Bro never give that out. Hope you can just move on without any kind of revenge on her part.
That's not narcissism. That's just good old selfishness
Thats 99% of western women.
This sounds like almost everyone.
It's what victims of a toxic family think because they haven't known any better and they attract those kind of people in life too.
So you found yourself surrounded by those kind of people and think that that's the normality.
You also might find yourself doing the same because it's the only way you have learned to ask for what you want and to obtain attentions.
But the point is that it's not the normality at all.
Usually people communicate their need to each other and give and take what they can without forcing got pushing the others to do anything they don't want or they don't feel comfortable doing.
This guy in this video sound like he's talking something he's been taught.....or he's letting certain specifics be known to illicit a response. A performance even.
Think about it.
That’s because he’s talking about emotional blackmail. Just because people behave like this occasionally doesn’t mean they have a disorder/psychopathology. It’s only when this behaviour is consistent in their behaviour and relationships most of the time that these labels fit. I looked this guy up and he’s a life coach, which is fair enough. But he’s not a psychologist or psychiatrist (correct me if I’m wrong). So I can’t help but feel this video is generalising too much and he doesn’t seem to have any evidence to back it. Some people just behave badly sometimes. It doesn’t mean they’re ill.
Yes. It depends on circumstances. Sometimes a person truly is a victim that deserves to be served, appreciated or recognized in some way.
The difference is with cluster Bs is that it’s every interaction
This does not always necessarily indicate narcissism from a professional perspective. People can have learned behaviors that are toxic and still not fully meet the criteria for being a narcissist.
Important note: Everyone has toxic traits or has some form of unhealthy behavior. Everyone. This includes you. It’s easy to feel like you are being victimized whenever you are hurt but it’s extremely possible that you could inadvertently be doing something to put yourself in this situation or worsen the situation. Often whenever people argue, they are BOTH in the wrong. People always want to hear things like what’s in this video to add to their confirmation bias collection that they are the ones who have been wronged. Always communicate whenever someone is wronging you, obviously, but also always be willing to TRULY accept responsibility for wrongdoings that you might not even recognize exist. Your ego can blind you more than anything.
Great comment 👏 so true.
I don't agree, with a great deal of this,
First of all the notion that when both people argue they're both wrong
When both people fight or have a disagreement or whatever when two people are involved they're both wrong, I get so sick of that it takes two to tango story because this is how so much abuse is going under the radar
Especially with the covert codependent fragile narcissist
In my experience an observation of different people's patterns in the past from relationships, to deep discussions with my siblings about their relationships, to case studies, you name it
Really taking a look at this stuff
And then getting cornered in a horrible way for almost 6 years, by someone with extreme emotional problems,
That started coming out slowly as time went on
And I didn't know what it was at first
And I began to realize that no oh my God no no no no no
It is so unfair to the people that have been in relationships where there was horrific psychological abuse, emotional abuse manipulation, constantly provoked, tormented,
I was living with a severe alcoholic who had lost a child, and for the first year I let him have a lot of comfort and leeway
And when I began setting boundaries down is when we started to have problems and I noticed all of these terrible traits
He would follow me around almost 24/7, almost demanding my attention, and would not stop,
I could not carry out my daily functions, I could hardly even go to the bathroom
The mix of alcoholism and shock,
And he would literally corner me, he would wake me up in the middle of the night several times a night, long after I had asked him to stop, I had tried everything from reasonable conversations,
There was no way I was going to get this person into therapy, I was still trying to figure out just what the hell was going on in his brain
Long story short
I began to notice a pattern for a very long time, that this person would be entertained by provoking me into long pointless arguments
And if you listen to just about any psychologist talk about covert narcissism especially
That is one of their signature tactics, they love to provoke you, torment you, or lure you into a long drawn-out argument that goes nowhere
He used to laugh and say well I like to play devil's advocate,
but I would notice that there was no purpose to it, it was not for the sake of healthy conflict resolution, or so that the both of us could feel better or get anything solved
It was for his enjoyment, his own entertainment, the minute he would see me start to get distressed, confused, upset, he would start feeling high literally superior, his energy would go up, total energy vampire, empty,
And he would literally torment and provoke me even drag me out of bed at night can't wake me up just whenever he wanted to be entertained
Or needed something, and I was cornered a lot of nights to the point where I had to run out of the house and sleep in my car
Of course I eventually ended up getting away from this person,
But I spent a lot of years with him because I didn't know what this was, I was confused, and I deeply cared about this person he was a friend who had lost a child,
And I knew him pretty well, but not well enough to know these things until we started living behind closed doors together
And yes if you stay with someone like that and don't leave I guess the first moment that they get weird, and you let them provoke you yes there is such a thing as reactional abuse
And I think that's mostly what you're referring to is if you stand there and you get emotionally abusive back towards that person, or loud and aggressive then you are just as wrong as they are
I agree up to a certain point
If you continue staying with someone like that year after year, and never attempt to make any changes or leave and you continually reactionally abuse them back
Argue get violent things like that then eventually yes you look just as bad as they do
Because you couldn't control your reaction to them and tolerate the horrific psychological and emotional abuse and mental cruelty and possible physical violence or whatever they were putting you under at the time
Well psychologist will let you know professionals will tell you and studies show
That any normal non-abusive person when placed in an extremely stressful situation like that will react out of character
That it is in fact quite normal for you to react with outrage, anger, in fact I had been traumatized as a young girl and sexually assaulted by my father and beaten
so if a drunk man comes and wakes me up in my sleep and starts dragging me out of bed as my boyfriend did I'm going to come up swinging
End of story, and no I'm not just as bad as he is, no I'm not in the wrong
And so by going through this experience, I like to spread Awareness on the fact that
Too many cases out there are getting swept under the rug as just your usual old domestic disturbance two toxic people, two wrong people
When actually there are many many cases where one person was actually minding their own business, they weren't doing anything wrong at all
They were being hounded pressured, coerced, tormented, psychologically twisted, until complete Insanity just driven mad by a certain type of narcissist and there are many different types
And some people are even worse physically assaulted and other things
And so these types of narcissists are getting away with it these types of narcissistic abusers
Especially the covert they love to come in and slowly over time wear down all of your wonderful characteristics your calm nature, your motivation everything beautiful about you
They love to provoke a response from you they live for that that's part of what keeps them going in life, is going around getting reactions from people good or bad
And if they can drive you to insanity or raging and screaming and begging for mercy and losing your mind then that's what they will do I was tormented nearly to death
And I didn't have anywhere to go at the time
And he laughed about it he enjoyed it
And I wasn't doing anything wrong, I was asleep a lot of the time, or cooking food or minding my own business trying to run a household
This person was severely disturbed, and I want to speak up for all those people who have ever Loved someone or they know they were not doing anything wrong
And they were so tormented and abused by someone else coming after them constantly
That hell yes they flipped out and got angry and rightly so
Hell yes they stood there and spoke up for themselves, they attempted to work with the person they loved, they spoke up loud and proud and told the truth about things
Set boundaries or fought that person off did whatever they needed to do
And I'm getting tired of these narcissistic abusers skating off into the sunset
Having ruined another person's reputation and their life and people thinking oh well that was just another toxic couple both of them were wrong
Because I deeply love that person and I've been over backwards to be the absolute best girlfriend I could ever be
And he sabotaged and tormented every bit of it
The only thing I was wrong for was sticking around too long and letting it turn into my reaction which made him feel entertained
I really don't feel a damn bit guilty for standing up for myself, setting boundaries and not letting him trample all over me 24/7
But yes this is how it mostly looks to society and I think it's sad and unfortunate because there's usually one person that was trying really hard to do the right thing
Now if you continue to stay, and you don't ever do anything about it, then yes you will become a reactional abuser, you will look just as bad as they are and eventually you'll become just as bad as they are if you don't get out.
Oh and another thing sure we're all toxic in one way or another,
But not necessarily,
there are people like myself for instance, who grew up in nothing but abuse, dysfunction toxicity trauma and had relationships like that for a lot of my life
But who have also been in therapy for a long number of years, and been very determined to become extremely mindful and self-aware
And work on ourselves to the best of our ability to where we don't react in toxic ways
I wouldn't say we don't have faults, I'll always have a dark side,
I'll always have a balance of healthy narcissism and healthy empathy
I don't believe in being a doormat anymore
I should have never but that was my traumatic upbringing
There has to be a balance with everything or people will just get walked on that's just the world we live in
But to say we are all toxic, I just feel that's inaccurate
We are all flawed, we all have problems, but toxic to me is some whole other level
It's generally where a person doesn't realize themselves, they lack self-awareness, usually like accountability, and inside into themselves
And on the flip side A lot of people are aware of their own toxicity
I mean I get it, people do toxic things if you want to look at it from that perspective like I don't know neglect themselves, or binge watch too much netflix, or don't have good time management, or procrastinate, I mean I guess a lot of those human behaviors could be considered toxic
But when I think of toxic I really think of manipulators, I think of people who are living in a certain type of mentality
With a lot of unhealed wounds or unresolved issues, that they are basically putting all over other people without care
Without any regard for others
I guess everyone views it differently
I think just like with narcissism being on a spectrum, so is empathy, addiction can be on a spectrum, it can all come in degrees
I think toxicity can as well..
I just can't stand over generalizations
And I've had to be around too many different experiences, to realize that it's not all that easily summed up and it's not all that black and white
There are major differences,
I'm sure what's toxic in one person's eyes may not be toxic in another person's but
The situations in the past where it did turn out to be two very toxic individuals together
Both of them equally sick, equally pathological, equally starting trouble with each other, and going in circles and getting nowhere
Have made it really tough for good honest, authentic people who got involved in something where they truly were in the right lane, they were trying everything they could to be a good person to the other person, and getting completely sabotaged the entire time, and I experienced this very thing
Now of course I will hold myself accountable, for staying there, and trying to work through those things, and giving that person more time, and eventually reacting
Absolutely but I like to get down into the fine details of who started it, what is the exact problem here
and if people just gloss over those things, too many real predators and abusers are getting away with it
And laughing off into the sunset because that's what they came to do
As I explained in an earlier comment they come in to take away all of your beautiful qualities and bring you down to the level they are on because they are so miserable there and don't want to work on it
Especially the covert narcissist I lived with it for so many years
They are desperate to look good, get all the praise, get all the credit, like a little bitty child who didn't get enough when they were small and most of them didn't
And they will work on you and siphon those things slowly away from you to where you were just a puddle of insanity and frustration
And they will stand tall on your energy and go get on the internet and impress people with what you taught them, or what they stole from your ideas
While you're laying there having a heart attack or getting sick, this is how terrible they can be
And they walk off with everything they siphoned away from you, and they start running a smear campaign and telling lies about your true character and nature
and they will even stand in your face and play crazy and tell you you were never there from them, you never did all those beautiful things,
Knowing damn well what kind of person you actually are and how devoted that you actually were
But just because you stood up to them a time or two, that's right society just writes people off as two toxic individuals, never knowing any different never knowing who was really the pathological one
And it's just so unfair and unfortunate when you're hit by a covert narcissist like that
But many people don't know it until it's too late, or it's right there in their house with them, they have absolutely no idea what that's like
Oh and another thing..
Bottom line
He's right,
Confident healthy people, who are not pathological
They don't have to do any of these weird and manipulative things to get their needs met
Just. End of story.
It's because these types many of them are insecure inferior, full of unhealed childhood wounds, lacking and emotional intelligence lacking in emotional maturity,
Oh God the things I have seen in the past..
And I actually felt for them, because I knew something was off in their brain
That they were very emotionally dysregulated, and I would actually fall into that, feeling empathy for them and not wanting to make them feel any more insecure and wanting to help them along
But I had to learn no this guy is absolutely right, he's nailing it
I've seen it first hand
And I would finally get to the point where when I would see these actions and hear these types of words, phrases body language, and the dribble that comes out of their mouth
Literally they will take anything, even the death of their own child, and turn it into a self-pityful little story just to get what they want from you it's ridiculous
I just laugh at it these days, and I don't deal with that weak crap
If you have to do weird things, sob stories, self-pity, do you know that is coercive control? And it's also considered narcissistic rage?
When say for example, you just told someone no you wouldn't be able to do that for them today, you have other plans
And they begin to pout, I'm talking literally piled like a 5 year old child, as my ex-boyfriend used to do and they stomp off to the back room
and you can hear them back there talking under their breath and pouting, and pressuring you, and guilt tripping you
And letting out a loud sigh, and everything this man is informing us of
That type of pressure, that type of energy, that is narcissistic rage in one of its forms
That is how they control you
By wearing you down like that and many more tactics
It's gross, you don't even know you're getting involved with someone that emotionally immature at first...
And no you're not wrong by being disgusted by it
Set up, there's absolutely nothing that will help it, you could sit there for years and try every angle every approach nothing will help
And I'm sorry, but non pathological, human beings, that have a decent level of confidence,
Self-awareness, they just don't have to go around acting all weird like that, or using silly tactics, or defense mechanisms or weird manipulations to get people to do things
He's right.
Often when people argue, they are not necessarily both wrong. I stopped going to professionals when I realized many were trained to regurgitate the work and knowledge others had acquired but they themselves were clueless of the true understanding of this knowledge. I can find their same information from reading too. I've found thru staying in abusive and toxic relationships because I felt I was responsible for their behavior believing this bs, that the advice caused great harm to those of us that are healthy but are unable to be so when dealing with individuals who are not. Once I figured this out, there has not been one individual to take advantage of me since. And now that I know how to the play their game, I play it back and better. I for give to them their own burden and watch the house burn down.
@Candice Williams Richard is pretty familiar with his audience and subscribers many of whom are already familiar with his work. So I wouldn't call it a mistake.
Yes we all more or less have narcissistic tendencies to some degree.If you have unresolved issues you will then exhibit more because you are covering up,in denial, complacent or just plain compensating.The worst kind of narcissist is the one who is patient, cold, calculating and passive aggressive.They look down on you as being stupid and weak.They will always put themselves above you by playing gas-light-games. Why? Because they are professionals with patent answers and you don't expect that because normal people don't act that way. They look at you as normal and themselves as above normal, therefore they always have the upper hand because they stay awake at night creating new schemes to mow everyone else down like the unsuspecting weeds that they are!
Had a friend like this, needless to say we no longer talk. Im glad I realized what he was doing to me, if not I’d still be getting manipulated. The key to avoiding narcissists and sociopaths is self-awareness and self-respect.
no, its an awareness and understanding of an incurable personality disorder and refusing to let shit slide all the time and being so forgiving and ignoring the red flags
these assholes know E X A C T L Y what they're doing
Agree. My mom and 2 sisters have it bad. They hate me because I have too much self respect to play with them. Something that drives them crazy is to just start laughing at them.
AMEN
@@au7-721
Something else that drives them crazy; if you wear sunglasses. Someone told me about this then I tried it. Works quite well.
They often do it themselves (my alcoholic covert narc sister does) to hide behind. They’re cowards.
When you wear it around them it bothers them because they can’t see what you’re looking at. They need to collect data from you constantly because that’s all they do. Your eyes reveal a lot about yourself and when you conceal that from them, the same way they do towards you, it drives them crazy.
What about if someone is telling you about themselves, a negative or sad things and is being serious and just wants to talk?
I few people say real people will want to talk about it and get it off their chest.
So what is right and wrong here?
The funny thing is, the person who sent this to me is exactly this type of person. The irony.
How did you respond?
Oh watch out ,they are deflecting on to you rn ,and most likely they'll unload their own sh!t onto you and tell all about it.Maybe it's time to go no contact.
Yes toxic narcissists love to project.
@@celticqueen9762 omg do they love to project.
Oh my Lord do they ever project? My stepdaughter is an actress wanna-be, never made it in Hollyweird so she performs daily & addicted to meth & gambling & beer. Nothing is EVER her fault & she’s horrible to me & her dad. Her dad does nothing about it, I’ve evicted her from my rent house & now no contact for so many reasons. Dad isn’t on board with me, sadly. She’ll keep manipulating!
For instance, falling behind you while walking, even stopping to look at something supposedly, to force you to walk back to them. Sick stuff...
I love this cause they deplete you if your energy to fill theirs back up cause they feel nothing. They're a void inside.
Damn, I'm so happy I don't have to hear that passive aggressive disturbing sigh anymore from my mother in law.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Yep my mum died too!
Yes! I'm with you.
Add to this video's information "the no test." When you can feel that manipulation of you occurring, smile at them with confidence and say "no" and watch their reaction. If they are pathological they will come completely unglued, that's how you know it's time to run and not look back.
So...um, if they scream at you and have hour-long arguments you're not allowed to walk away from where they tell you they're your parents and you're GOING TO DO THIS because SEE, THAT'S A PROBLEM count as pathological and unglued?
Er, asking for a friend, not that I've ever suffered such a thing. Sniff.
Uh too late. He intentionally got me pregnant.
By the way as you can see his attempt at control has been a blessing for me and a frustration for him since he doesn't effect me until he messes with our son.
@@willa4760 intentionally? Oh so did you not take part or anything 🙄
@@DG-EditsMedia since your so nosey he came in me fter we had been messing around for quite a while and he was either wearing a condom or pulling out. He came and told me after. So.....are you upset cause you're not getting any yourself? Maybe an attitude change, manners or a bit of empathy growth would help your cause.
@@willa4760 whats funny is you said a man got you pregnant intentionally but you were the one opening your legs allowing things to happen.. take some accountability for your actions instead of blaming everything else.. try it for once
Thank you Richard. SO exacting, SO clear in defining the core intent of a narcissist. Additionally you speak from heart and soul and from having been there yourself. Your contribution to the health and well-being and healing of those having suffered from narcissistic abuse has changed lives. on behalf of all of us who have heard your messages and talks, we thank you and are in deep gratitude for your dedication to helping the victims of narcissistic abuse.
So glad we have you Richard. Ppl need to learn about these ppl.
FINALLY! I couldn't put a finger on my ex. He wasn't outwardly mean like some other narcissists I knew, but the sighs, body language (and shaming) from not doing what he wanted was overwhelming.
Aghh, same! The sighs, the face he used to make, he at times would try to break the bond between me and his daughter too, blocking me out from conversations and talking negatively about me to others to separate me from everyone. At the same time when we got to the verge of breaking up, he would apologize to me but still talk shit behind my back.
The sob stories are a way to drain you of your energy too.
How true....!
Yeah and they HATE it when you see through them, unfortunately a lot of people don't, I can't stand them.
Oh yes! Big time.
Energy Vampires
@JENNIFER JONES I feel exactly the same about the entire human race
This man gets it and I am here for it .
The fact that you said the word "Implied", that word for me hits the nail right on the head. They're always "implying" something and never asking straight out for what they need or want. Moving forward I think I am going to start cutting people's needs and wants out of my life whose sentences I have to finish.
This is so heartbreaking to learn when you’ve finally removed yourself from their grasp. To know that people closest to you could maliciously manipulate you to behave the way they want is sick
I hope you heal Queen 💘
@@Stormy4Hunnid I am now that I’m more self aware ❤️❤️❤️
@@Aisha_babii that's good to hear love. Hope you find peace and love in your life. No mater what, God will have your back. 💘
-
Ya ' may D I S C O V E R // Realize that
you are in very // V E R Y close proximity
to a person who is not mentally well and
may be emotionally // psychologically //
// mentally A B U S I V E ((( parent //
// sibling -- etc. ))) . That ' s N O T
" " s i c k " " . That ' s called R E A L I T Y .
- (( my opinion ))
-
-
They don't always realize they are manipulating their loved ones. So you've got to take care of yourself and not get pulled in.
I lived with a narcissists for ten years. It took me about 6 years to finally figure out (with the help of lots of therapy) that everything was not all my fault all the time. And then I made a plan, and moved out
Yeah you and every person that's been told *No* rejected, hurt or abandoned are out here playing the
"my Ex was a narcissist" card.
It's the easy way to avoid introspection and accountability
Just project Narcism on anyone that does view you a favorable light.
That's the Nature of being a Co-Dependant
How r the kids?
I did not say he was my ex. We were "friends" when I lost my job he let me move in with him. Living with him every day, day in and day out I got to see his true colors
@@Peakfreud projection? U sound triggered.
@@tonybahama6817 Nope, I sound like someone you want or attention from.
Or else you'd S_TFU
Your pretty spot on with this. Explaing things I've seen but couldn't put into words. Thank you.
Thank you. I needed to hear this and now I have a much better understanding. Its their "performance" that triggers a response from an empath. 😢
This described my dog to a T. Especially the sighing.
😂
😂😂😂 same!!
😂
😂 A dog will never let you down
I wish I heard this when I was manipulated by my ex…to stay for 6 years of mind games, abuse, lies, stolen money and betrayal…so much heartache wasted on a person who had no heart.
No man, that's 6 years of being with a messed up person. To some degree you enjoyed your time, were ignorant and even now are taking no responsibility. You're messed up too.
-your ex.
Fr tho straight facts
@@niel3401 you are so manipulated at the time, you are run down mentally, you don't see how bad it is when your in it, you know you should get out but don't know how , your embarrassed to tell anyone , yes maybe we need to take blame for being in it so long, but it's because we fool ourselves it might get better, we get a few days of a loving caring person that's nothing like the crazy part, and we I think hold onto that is the real person when it's not . There is variants of similar to this, i too was pulled in for many years, it's not as easy as how you say it though, the manipulation goes way past what you see, and in some cases can comprehend . We all have our own experience of a similar gehaviour, our blame we need to take is having too big of an open heart and being blindly manipulated . But it's never something you blatantly see when your standing so close to it
@@wilmaknight9127 maybe if you cared just enough to learn the proper your to use, you wouldn't be clowning yourself into being with even bigger clowns i life, instead of hitting up my notification with this victim's mentality 🧐
@@niel3401 so you only look at a victim being a victim not a person ? I got control of myself thanks to stop fools like you entering my life. You have no idea what that woman endured so shut up buttercup
I believe that recognizing that you have "failed" to acknowledge the red flags, or to not action much sooner .. is taking responsibility.
My ex is a big, big narcissist. And most likely the most insufferable cunt that I've ever had the misfortune of knowing.
It was my mistake to sit down at his table, though. Because I had a really bad feeling. And sure thing,; he served me some fucking clown ass shit.
I shoved it right back up his ass, though, which I'm sure fucked him up. And I am not in the slightest sad about it.
However, I made a rookie mistake. And I paid for it. Lesson learnt.
ilysm, I really needed this reminder
no is my favourite word now
So well explained
If you’re reading this have a wonderful 2023 I hope you are free of your narcissistic relationship! Trust me it gets better than you can imagine ❤
Will smith after hearing this:
“Keep my wife’s name outcho FUCKIN MOUTH”
So now Will Smith is a narcissist or he's history on it well that's the case you might as well not look at any Hollywood entertainer again because all of them display those personality characteristics Beyonce Jay Z Charlene Theron Johnny Depp Meg Ryan Oprah Winfrey Meryl Streep every talk show host that's the entire industry
@@lisasligh1577 did you actually rea... nvm
Outcho lol
@@ThePrideofLondon-Hutch I know right? Freakin numbskull...
@@ThePrideofLondon-Hutch not you, lisa.
The cherry on top is when you fall for it, and offer to make it better, they feign humility and ask, "Are you SURE you want to do this for me???" This is *gold* Richard!!
Umm I do this to people... should I be worried.
@Jordan - the fact you are asking and concerned probably means you are not doing it manipulatively.
@@Shoultes asking if someone is sure about doing something for you isn't narcissistic in itself, it can be read as empathy and compassion. But manipulating someone into doing something for you and THEN asking if they're sure, is a classic narcissistic trait.
@@Shoultes You know better. If you help them happily when they ask, that is being a partner or an appreciative respectful friend in return. If it's only about you and your needs, you are an asshole
@@Shoultes the intent and context is important. Are you consistently doing it, knowing full well they were going to help you before you asked?
I'm so glad ti hear you talk about these nonverbal signals that people outside the "family" don't notice. Those sighs, the looks etc. I grew up with that and then had 2 long term relationships that were the same and honestly for a sensitive person it made me feel like I was crazy. It's only now as a 55 year old that I'm putting the pieces all together.
You speak about ALL human beings. I'm old enough to say I haven't met many people who do not try to manipulate others to get what they're after.
There are even scientific and/or professional branches of "manipulation": Marketing, Publicity, Sales. Law, Acting, Movie making, Religion, etc etc
Definitely my boss of 4 years. I finally quit last week! Never been happier!
Congratulations, it takes courage to walk away, even if what you’re walking away from is causing you problems.
Good for you!! ^-^
Was your boss a woman?
@@rahuldahoob4513 does it matter?
95% ofpsycohlists are narccsts according to porf sam vahkim
And listen to them! Mine straight up said "I do the things I do just to see how you will respond" its a sick game
Lol, I bet you liked it
Was this before or after they started with narcistic abuse?
Omg, he said that too! He also said I want you to feel the way I feel. As in if I am upset I will make you upset...
Very true...
That's not a sick game at all. Lol literally thousands of other things much worse lol
Wow love the interconnected way that you bring it all together. It’s a wonder that you haven’t gone mad. Been there before and I d rather die then have anyone else play this very sick M….F….. I will remain single then to do that again. It’s BRUTAL 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼👊🏻
💯💯💯🔥🔥🎯🎯. ALL THE WAY..SUCH A PERFORMANCE IT IS
I think the mistake in a lot of videos is that it is always from a “watch for THEM doing this to YOU” perspective. Don’t get me wrong, you definitely should recognize what others are actually doing, but I think it’s important to recognize your ability to manipulate, and to manipulate yourself, we are not be default righteous or harmless.
Soo true. The times I have heard narcissists accusing others of narcissistic behaviour.
Hard agree. The quote, about pointing fingers at others and having 3 pointing back at you, comes to mind. You can't become a better person without dismantling the shell of who you "think you are (or want to be)," and really taking an honest look at what's truly underneath. I am not nearly as good of a person as I once believed. Flaws, biases, and deficiencies all around. And i think that's true for the majority of ppl if they really got real about themselves. Even after 'getting real", we still have blindspot, bc growing never stops. Not saying we're all terrible, just that we tend to judge ourselves much more favorably, graciously, and leniently than we do others. But if we examined ourselves the way we judge others, how would we really fare? What would we see about ourselves that we formerly missed or ignored?
I think I have Borderline and narcissism and I watch these videos to understand myself and look out for someone else trying to pull a me on me. I can’t have that
@@DrunkenSlob damn straight
When our 'narc ninja skills' are developed, it gets to the point we can predict their next move based on the nature of their behavior at the moment, its usually two or three options, they become really predictable.
I was the ultimate target for these before I met my husband who taught me to cut it out and recognize their usage of my kindness. Now when this behavior starts up from anyone, I ask for their hand and I actually pray with them and for them 🤣. It's wonderful bc 9/10 times they never come to me again. The 1/10 respect me rather than use me now.
Ok
No offense intended, but I probably would try to avoid that to happen again too, but just because I'm not religious. I have been haunted by narcissists myself, and many of them pretended to be christians strangely enough.
@@KitKat-sl5mp the last narcissist that tried to take advantage of me was a fraud in this sense too. But I like what she said... because when they come for your attention/time/energy, etc and all you give them is a hand held prayer, they realize that's all they can get and that's not what they want. Sometimes it's hard to avoid if they're a part of family or community and we also don't want to look like the bad guy avoiding people since not everyone will understand. I'm not even religious but boy will I be trying this. You gonna be a fraud with me, let me give you some a fraud moment! Lol I love it!!
The 1/10 is probably the person who was going thru ish and probably just needed to be prayed for 🤷♀️
Remember that there is a th8ng called narcissistic rage! Silence is golden. No response ver al or non verbal.
This is so spot on.
Richard is SOOO right! Even if the attention is negative (to “scold” them in someway), they’re still getting attention, and they LOVE that. They can’t live without attention. It’s the very air they breathe.
My boyfriend hasn't made love to me in 6 years so I think me sighing rolling my eyes acting pissed off I think it's legit I laid all month hoping to get laid one time before I get my period and then I find him on dating sites and for some reason it's so easy to just f*** a stranger
He just described my cat.
@@dananorth895 lol 😂
Meta communication is all the rage right now. You should try it. Do what I say
yes. N v've all learnt da hard way n in time. Unfortunately, for sum of us it takes us a lifetime ta realize wot v were n r dealing wit.
Vulnerable, covert narcissism (aka professional victims). As dangerous, if not more dangerous, than overt narcissism since many can't detect them until it's too late.
I agree! Overt is easy to spot but covert, man man man.
I agree.
I got rid of one in less than three weeks.
As a man I wanted to f her so I went along with the BS but I knew from the beginning something was waaaay off.
Always trust your gut feeling!
Exactly
Absolutely correct!
True! Learned a lot by dealing with this kind of person.
This is, The definition of Excellent homework!
after being married to two narcissists, this video is absolutely brilliant How many did i fall for their phony tears.
My mom was a master manipulator, she would guilt me, lie to me, say things about me, it didn’t matter all to get me to do what she wanted. A small example would be her quietly yelling at me at a birthday party for not speaking to her first. Now, I knew this was one of her many rules, but when I became an adult I started not to care, but knew I would hear it, and oh boy, did I! No one at the party knew or if they did, they didn’t care that I was getting yelled at for an hour, that I was having a horrible time and being abused, but I sat there and took it quietly as I had done my whole life. So glad she’s deceased, and I’m not being abused anymore.
That’s why the key is to NOT respond😃I’ve been practicing it since I was 12 haha. I observed my family and told my self that I absolutely refused to remain the victim and was determined to rise above those that pray on me
Prey...not pray...
@@lillyrose1422 lol thanks
Absolutely, bravo!✊🏽❤️⚡️🙏🏽
Bang on with the illicit a response... such a concise way of getting to the core of it.
The performances I see through now, so thankful for this!! It only took years, to realize their game OOps!!
I lived with this for ten years and it took me to actually look up what a narcissist is for everything to click and cause me to finally wake up. Wouldn’t wish this life on my worst enemy.
@ Toph. Yup I lost 25 years, 2 adult kids. Took another 5 years just to get my mind right again & recharge my batteries. And now I'm trying to restart my life & get back out in the world. So in total, he stole 30 years of my life. And I have nothing to show for all those years. Nothing! Got to start from scratch!
@@harperproduction3935 Says a lot that you survived that long, ten years alone nearly killed me. Honestly though, leaving and having to start all over again is still better than being in that situation. I’d rather have been dead than that.
@@toph8298 Unfortunately true. Sad to agree on that.
Once I got to know this sick pattern, I've stopped responding
I was with a thai woman for four years. The biggest mistake I made, aside from nit leaving her sooner, was to get hooked into replying.
@@Cittamatra why does it matter if she was Thai or not
👍🏻👊🏼 same
And it's weird how those people (usually after they try anger when you stop) don't seem to "need" you anymore. Then you really see your great decisions.
Why are u "getting to know" this pattern unless u are attracting this "pattern" in the first place or u are turning people into behaving in a manner u don't like or pretend u don't like. I find those who complain about such things and him in the video are closet bullies really. Making out the other person is making things happen when its really themselves creating it all. Perhaps its paranoia and the person who sighed is just fed up of it. How dare anyone call me narcissist
Notice when someone is playing a victim, and then make note of how that makes you a victim..... brilliant!
I knew a women like this. When she felt I hadn't given her enough attention she'd send a voicenote sounding sad and tired saying how busy she was, not having balance in her life, then how she's ok though. Quite subtle and clever.
Mine narcissist says, “you don’t understand how I feel! “ That’s after they annihilated you with their words. It’s awful. I just dodge them and stay out of harms way whenever possible.
Sounds more like you are a narcissist.
Best thing you can do is free yourself if at all possible. Don't be slave to their perpetual ego feeding existence - find your wings.
as i grow up i realize how i mess up myself for other people by not saying NO... trust ne learn to say NO.. never ever feel down for tht.. it will easy your life.. simple thing toxic people cant stant to NO
I got my "NO" back "or voice" now I am having to learn how to use it after it was taken from me at 6 years old. It is hard to say it and when I do it's immense guilt. I agree with you. There are times when I do say it I feel elated...then the guilt comes after. It's really hard but worth it
🔥
Human parasite like it when you open up your life garden to always serve them.
The moment you change that narrative because trust me one you will be forced to this corner of change. they will start complaining you changed.
The change benefits your health in every single way. Keep to that change.
Look‼️,You Didn't Mess Up‼️,Look at it Like This,They Helped You See🌻,You Move Forward 💝,They Will Always Be Stuck‼️, k🌻💝
This was the best lesson I've ever learnt in my life. NO is VERY powerful.
Omg , you’re good at this .
Wow!! Yes Richard! You are so right and I can’t tell you how many times I have fallen for these performances. This is them in a nutshell. They may be toxic, selfish, superficial, and miserable human beings but they are excellent actors!🎭
Not really good once you see through their bs
Life’s a performance baby 😈
They r just actors .... not excellent ....not at all
YES Thanks for mentioning that GOD 🙏 PLEASE SET MY SONS FREE FROM EVIL ENTANGLEMENTS WELCOME HOLY SPIRIT AND THE ANOINTING THAT DESTROYS EVERY YOKE OF ENTANGLEMENT SNARES AND GREIF THOSE HAVE CAUSED THANKYOU FOR HEARING AND ANSWERING THIS PRAYER IN JESUS'NAME AMEN AMEN AND GRACE GRACE BE MULTIPLIED IN JESUS'NAME LORD ADONI AMEN
@@jeannejeanne8177 Are you Will Smith's Mother?
So true, that's why you feel so horrible after dealing with them because they try to create a servile dynamic
The worst is when they're charismatic or popular - usually because they can perform an entertaining act like music or sports - because they can act as shitty as they want and get others to side with them against you, which just leaves you feeling like crap afterwards. Being a good person rarely gets you the same results that abusing another person does, and that sucks.
Stigma.
@@hanburgundy4317 I worked with a General Manager as an Assistant Manager and that description of yours was as accurate as I have ever seen. This young lady was super good-looking and had most of the employees at her house regularly for parties. She allowed drinking on the clock, and let the waiters and bartenders hold her discount/delete Manager key card while she slept in the office or was doing her personal chores away from the restaurant. If you denied her your help in maintaining her fraud, you were soon edged out. Flirting and inclusion were dangled as rewards. She was super hot, super fun (until she wasn't), and that store was a party store for our restaurant franchise...too far away from the others to monitor. It could have been great, but having to do all her work was a problem. There was never anything too demanding to ask, she truly cared not for the suffering of those on the outside of her clique. And she would gather volunteers at her house parties to write written statements of harassment to eliminate the unwanted employees.
Thanks, works 99% of the time. Great guide.
This is the most simple, concrete explanation I’ve ever heard of these issues. It cuts straight to the point. Well done
Performance to elicit a response from you, SPOT ON
Well said. My husband's mother kept selling herself as a 'self sacrificing, giving mother who does so much for her family.' It was indeed a performance to get me to feel guilty enough to eat at her house two to three times a week. I quickly realised that there was huge victim mentality and guilt tripping if I didn't go to a dinner. And that whilst her performance showed that she did everything out of love - I found out that she was poisoning my food, and she was finding out information about my relationship to know exactly how to break us up. And to stop my partner and I having time for each other. She had a huge problem with other ppl being happy in a relationship and having sex. She doesn't want anyone else having sex. It was all about paying all attention to her. My wedding had to be all about her and my husband just wanted to make her happy. She caused drama cos she knew it would get my husband's attention. Now his brother is doing the same to my husband. He's asking a lot of my husband at his wedding and as a godparent, whilst I have three kids. I have totally learnt to pull away, detach. They chase me all day at events with desperation of attention but I keep running. My life is too precious. I ain't no slave. I'm gonna have fun.
That's an incestuous relationship between your hubby and his mom. Look up enmeshment by Dr. Cloud - married to mom" here on youtube. I had the same problem. It sucks!
Oy, it was wonderful to hear my husband realise he was wrong in the way he supported his mom against me….
Richard, this is so true!!!
Oh wow. I followed. I’m intrigued. This was a wonderful explanation
I remember everything. He set me up from day one and I didn’t even see it coming. He’s been out of my life since March of 2019 but that disaster still haunts me. ☹️
And let me guess. He cut you off with no feelings?
Girl. Same!! Was taken money from me for a house that was already paid off from his 1st wife that died. Him and his piece of shit sister plotted this. May they get their karma
Day one? So first impression really counts and people never changes.
Same here. Mine told me his mother pointed a gun at him as a child. Then he refused to ever talk about details. He just wanted to get my empathy.
@@crazychristmas100 his name wasn't tory was it?
I've listen to/seen hundreds of similar videos on UA-cam, and he just sums it up perfectly in 30 seconds! 👏👏
I agree I have never heard anyone say this before and I have watched a ton of narcissistic videos he is absolutely correct this is exactly what the two people in my life in my opinion who are narcissistic‘s do
I AGREE With You 1000 %!!!!!
Thankfully, I think I woke up to this a few years ago. I dated a guy who got off the bus at the wrong stop. I said I'd get him, but to stay where he was. He moved twice. I was FUMING. He travels on public transport for his job.
We didn't last long after this as he kept showing me someone completely different from who I'd known as a friend for 3 years.
The minute I ended it, he'd walk past me and completely ignore me. VERY lucky escape.
This made me cry. My husband of 23 years but more heartbreaking is this is spot on my teenage daughter even more. 😢 And he won’t parent so I am so chronically sick and emotionally depleted. Thank you for this and all your videos. ❤
I'm diagnosed with histrionic p.d.
Working through these character defects is a STRUGGLE. It takes legitimate effort to not make someone want to help me.
You can do it!
@@tanishasakthivel7974 ❤🙏❤
In Islam there is a prayer: please god protect/ prevent us from our self lack...
(Of course you don't have to take it if you don't believe♡) self awareness and correcting our behavior is a higher form of humanity... sadly we don't all come to see how we hurt others and yet another generation is lost
And I get called a cold hearted b*tch by others for refusing to help the narcissists. 😢
They are flying monkeys & sooner or later, the narcissist will prey on them.
Or a bad daughter or a bad christian lol or a bad partner, how dare you want a healthy boundary 😅
Nah you’re very warm-hearted, you just guard your heart in a hard and cold way and that’s frickin fantastic 😅
The sad thing is, if someone genuinely does have some of these personality disorders, they may not even be aware that they are doing it. It's going to take time, self work, and a patient person to help wake them up to it. I'm not saying anybody owes them, and no one should ever be a punching bag for someone else, but a lot of borderline and histrionic people are completely in the dark about their own issues. I was with someone for 10 years, I could not figure him out, he had all of these issues that were listed in the video above. It wasn't until we approached 30, did I realize, that he truly was suffering from a personality disorder, and he didn't even know it, could not admit to it, and would not talk to a therapist. I no longer know this person anymore, nor do I desire to. But I do remember, on my way out, that he was slowly becoming more and more awake and aware of his issues. I hope he's healthy, and I hope he is wiser and more self-aware. But that is it. Sorry, I just wanted to share that.
Mine are "new" upstairs neighbors and this couple has made my life a living hell for 4 months now. They both have rages and have made me their target for their supply. It almost feels demonic. Especially when it's complete strangers living right above you who you were only ever kind to. It's like a sick thrill for them to harass me daily as if I'm their human slot machine. Will we get the bells to ring and hit the jackpot today? And it NEVER ends no matter what approach I've tried. These people are very real even far outside of families and relationships. They show up as complete strangers with zero empathy or boundaries. They are professional energy vampires. Everything shared in this video is spot on.
So many revelations about my mother & Gma being this way my entire life to manipulate me away from being my true self. Always tried to turn me into a version of them. All the controlling, overbearing, smothering actions all in the name of "helping me".
2018 started my awakening about all this toxicity & I continue to have things revealed all the time. I've always felt drained around them & couldn't handle being around them very often, but they force themselves into my life & never cared how inconvenient it might be for me. It's overwhelming. I feel like I'm in the bottom of a landfill trying to figure out which mountain of trash to try climbing first. Thank you for these words that are helping me along my journey. ✌️
My MOM, exactly the same. Be like me ! I'm perfect and just want you to be happy ! Yuk.
We don't always get what we want and that includes your mom and grandma. Just because they're older doesn't mean they're mentally sound. I dealt with this my whole life and if you're young become as self sufficient as you can. They're just playing a stupid head game with your life.
My mother was mentally ill, abusive and psychopathic. I was 33 when I cut her out of my life, best thing I ever did although at time it felt a huge thing to do.
You go through emotions of it being your mother how could you cut her off and false senses of family bonds and loyalty etc. However if it is a toxic existence then I say to any of you reading cut them out.
My only regret is not doing it sooner, I lost the first three decades of my life to her.
It's your choice to be a Mama's boy or move on in life.
forgive & don't be so harsh at times & you will be the bigger& better
I was married to one. Thankfully I left over 3 years ago….
He wanted my money… he got a lot.. but my light still shines every day.. Buh bye misery…
It wasn't money they took I had none ,but took so much more,my self respect ,my confidence ,almost all of my energy ,I barely recognized myself in the mirror ,the funniest thing she said was I made her hit me,when i got rid,she made up loads of stuff up about me on socail media it was horrible,i hope that demon ends up where she belongs in hell,I'm better now and hope you are to.
Money money money..greediest person while i paid everything..first i felt sorry for him..he said his son was hungry.. than it was all lies
Alp he ever wants is money /from day one and i had just become disabled by an accidebt..and can barely walk/ and he came in and started helping me not telling me he was married with 4 children..i feel after 10 years like im the narciccist now..i dont remember the last time i saw the light of the day ..
I'm glad you got away from him!
I guarentee he was not a narcissist
Perfect description of my co-parent!
This guy is coming off like every narcissistic sociopath is a diabolical genius.
Richard, I've never heard it described in so succinct and relatable a way. Brilliant stuff, man.
For those of you who don’t know who Richard is - listen up - this guy is one of the best on the net. He gives very good advice. Thanks for all you do Mr. Grannon.
Simple, clear, truthful and honest. His explanations Does not make you sound like a trained therapy parrot.
I made a full page of notes on this. Perhaps the best I've heard.
Just can't thank you enough for the decade of videos and insight, Richard.
And my favorite words after the fact. “Well I didn’t ask you too”
YUP! Exactly! "You didn't have to!" Nah... No. They surely imposed their bs. Weirdos. Blessings on blessings... Have a nice day! 💞🙌🏼💞🙌🏼🌺🌺🌺
"I didn't have a gun to your head" "I can't MAKE you do anything"
I wish I’d known this 4 years ago. Valuable knowledge.
Wish I had known it 30 years ago.
I wish I'd known in 1993. A friend tried to warn me but wouldn't explain. She had known him for YEARS!!! I did get 2 beautiful children from the marriage, but back then I had no idea what a narcissist was. I finally got somewhat away from him but it was hell and still is because of our children. Long story I don't want to bother anyone with the details.
As a recovered BPDisordered person i can tell you it was never a performance for me. I genuinely was a victim in my childhood and believed that was who i was until i got the help and healing i needed to be able to grow up and leave my Victimhood behind.
Having BPD was horrendous!!
I wouldn't wish it on anyone 😢
So basically look for manipulative behaviour. Good advice.
And one more thing. When they made mistakes. That one thing you need to pay attention closely. They will NEVER accept the mistake they made and only to blame you for making them to do mistakes. That happened to me few times. That’s when I realize that they’re narcissistic so I ignored and move on. Not wasting my energy on them.
Damn. So a few days ago I bought a lava lamp and set it up and my girlfriend complained that I will accidentally break it because it’s in a bad spot, and I said no I’m careful I’ll step over the wire, then the next day she tripped o me the wire, it smashed and she blamed me for it because I left it there and it was a bad spot but it was all my fault.