I listen to quite a few relationship coaches, but Bern is the only one who makes me feel like it's okay to be a woman ❤ To lean into my femininity and be soft but still have boundaries, and let men be the wonderful, assertive, logical creatures that they are ❤
Thank you for your kind words. Remember, men are highly emotional beings, too, but most lack the clarity to express their inner worlds with the outside. 😊🙏
@BernMendez I honestly keep forgetting that! It's so conditioned into us women to believe that men have no feelings other than anger. Thanks for reminding me 🙏
It’s all back to being authentic. Both men and women need to present themselves honestly from day one. You can only do that by understanding who you really are. If there are aspects of your personality that need improvement or eradication of harmful habits, it’s best to deal with those BEFORE you leap into a relationship and drag the other down with you. There are far too many fragile addicted men and women who don’t know how to be ok being alone- they feel a deep need to be with someone- anyone…. Once you are ok on your own, and have stabilized your personality so you are consistently balanced, then you have something precious to offer another stable person. Your teaching is excellent- spot on as always!
*Time to Process Truth* There's a lot of us who like that... not just men. It's a really healthy step when trying to resolve conflict or solve a problem.
Yes! The distinction I make here is that in my observation women tend to feel more comfortable coming up with a solution through talking about it and most men want to first figure it out and then talk about it but there are always exceptions to this. Thank you for watching and for sharing your perspective I appreciate it. 🙏😊
Men are insatiable...do not try to satiate them, you will only drain and damage yourself in the process. All you have to do is be yourself and if your energies align he will quickly choose you and demonstrate his good intentions. This is rare though. Most times the man will run off, let them run. Never ever do anything even compliment them early on. They MUST chose you solely based on who and what you really are, you must not try to convince them to choose you by being "nice", complementary or overly interested in them. Please save your life ladies by only giving energy to who chooses you without having to be enticed into doing so!
Just only be ourselves seems true only if we are very accomplished and mature with Secure attachment style and knowledge how men work, how to be tactful, empathic, communicative, intimate, good borders.and self-discipline. It's the human ego(lower self) that's insatiable. Yours and mine too. But thank you, at least your post helpes me in deciding that I don't really want to date and visit a man who constantly ignores me emotionally, seems out of touch with his feelings despite being communicative otherwise, and open and social. Not once has he cared about, tried to understand or just replied about my increasing stress-exhaustion at his and others' behaviour/treatment/level of awareness/dating-sense on the dating-app. A 90% test-match result makes him expect a match automatically without effort or care.
You don’t have to be accomplished to be be yourself you have to be taught that it’s ok to be yourself and have gone through a situation where you have no other choice but to be yourself. The only reason I know this is because I met my husband and he was 18 and I was 20 and he was so unapologetically himself, and not accomplished and neither was I. I learned through him how to be more myself, as I was always told how to be when I was growing up because for some reason myself was not good enough, anyways not to go on and on we have evolved together over 15 years and are married, and I have all the notes my husband wrote to me through out our relationship oh how he felt inside about us, not everyone meets a young man who is emotionally mature but I thank wtv connected us. Life works in mysterious ways sometimes.
Definitely some of the best relationship advice I have come across.. Thank you Bernardo. I like the honest, self empowering approach. No games, no BS, no petty manipulations.. Simply show up as the best version of ourselves and the good ones will stick around
Precious tips. Thank you so much for sharing with us your long term gathered wisdom. Sober clear communication including our emotions makes all the difference.
ALWAYS GREAT inside info on how to better communicate with men! Not your usual topic, but you could do well in giving a lot of this info to men too! Just a thought....
How do men "make up THEIR mind" about complex important matters, without going back and forth in a brainstorming process with the people involved? What good will his "simple clear-cut solution" be if his understanding of the situation at hand can never be course corrected along the way. I dont get it. Usually the solution a man comes up with on his own in his man cave, does not really match the situation. And then you cannot critisize his solution or he withdraws and ghosts. How is useful problem solving between a woman and a man even possible?
Hi Bern, two comments from my side: A) what is emotional intimacy? B) I don't agree with you on point that I should share with a guy points which I admire in him. This can happen but ONLY in case of certain and pretty limited range of things, like certain behaviors only. But if I share with a guy that I admire his looks coz he's sexy and handsome, it makes him eve more anxious or angry coz he wants to feel validated. Or if I share with him that I admire his willingness to do chores at home as an only person it only makes him feel worse coz he feels like a pushover at home. Or if I share with him that I admire him that he likes to cry it makes him anxious or sad that I perceive him as a weak person. Or if I share with him that I admire him coz he's my best in sex it makes him anxious because he is afraid I will leave him as soon as the first-months high dopamine level fades away. Such a list goes on. So I truly think you should reformulate your advice or think it over again.
Hi there, Thanks for sharing. Emotional intimacy: depth of connection at the level of sharing deep wants, needs, feelings, dreams, failures, the whole inner world that is often alone and untapped. As to your suggestion here's the thing.... Men need to know what they're doing well. And the admiration I'm suggesting is not about his looks but his character. Now, you're certainly free to withhold your admiration from him, but he will still seek it and perhaps from someone else.
All this does is make men run away from you bc they feel like you like them and they have you in the bag so they run off after women who reject them so that they can feel the thrill of the chase. And you have fueled his ego so he is even more confident in his ability to attract "better" women then he did before you.
That’s why discernment is necessary. All the advice and wisdom on this video is fantastic but ultimately Gods timing and ordainment is what determines success or not. But everyone has their own view of success anyway
[Take My Free Quiz]: What's the #1 Reason You're Single: bit.ly/youresinglequiz
I listen to quite a few relationship coaches, but Bern is the only one who makes me feel like it's okay to be a woman ❤ To lean into my femininity and be soft but still have boundaries, and let men be the wonderful, assertive, logical creatures that they are ❤
Thank you for your kind words. Remember, men are highly emotional beings, too, but most lack the clarity to express their inner worlds with the outside. 😊🙏
@BernMendez I honestly keep forgetting that! It's so conditioned into us women to believe that men have no feelings other than anger. Thanks for reminding me 🙏
Yeah none of the men I’ve ever met
Men are *not* logical, they just present themselves that way, but they’re indeed wonderful and assertive beings.
It’s all back to being authentic. Both men and women need to present themselves honestly from day one. You can only do that by understanding who you really are. If there are aspects of your personality that need improvement or eradication of harmful habits, it’s best to deal with those BEFORE you leap into a relationship and drag the other down with you. There are far too many fragile addicted men and women who don’t know how to be ok being alone- they feel a deep need to be with someone- anyone…. Once you are ok on your own, and have stabilized your personality so you are consistently balanced, then you have something precious to offer another stable person. Your teaching is excellent- spot on as always!
Christine, thank you for sharing and glad to hear this was helpful.
*Time to Process Truth* There's a lot of us who like that... not just men. It's a really healthy step when trying to resolve conflict or solve a problem.
Yes! The distinction I make here is that in my observation women tend to feel more comfortable coming up with a solution through talking about it and most men want to first figure it out and then talk about it but there are always exceptions to this. Thank you for watching and for sharing your perspective I appreciate it. 🙏😊
You're one of the BEST coaches out there today. I find your work extremely enlightening. Thank you!!!
Men are insatiable...do not try to satiate them, you will only drain and damage yourself in the process. All you have to do is be yourself and if your energies align he will quickly choose you and demonstrate his good intentions. This is rare though. Most times the man will run off, let them run. Never ever do anything even compliment them early on. They MUST chose you solely based on who and what you really are, you must not try to convince them to choose you by being "nice", complementary or overly interested in them. Please save your life ladies by only giving energy to who chooses you without having to be enticed into doing so!
Best advice❤
Just only be ourselves seems true only if we are very accomplished and mature with Secure attachment style and knowledge how men work, how to be tactful, empathic, communicative, intimate, good borders.and self-discipline. It's the human ego(lower self) that's insatiable. Yours and mine too.
But thank you, at least your post helpes me in deciding that I don't really want to date and visit a man who constantly ignores me emotionally, seems out of touch with his feelings despite being communicative otherwise, and open and social. Not once has he cared about, tried to understand or just replied about my increasing stress-exhaustion at his and others' behaviour/treatment/level of awareness/dating-sense on the dating-app. A 90% test-match result makes him expect a match automatically without effort or care.
You don’t have to be accomplished to be be yourself you have to be taught that it’s ok to be yourself and have gone through a situation where you have no other choice but to be yourself. The only reason I know this is because I met my husband and he was 18 and I was 20 and he was so unapologetically himself, and not accomplished and neither was I. I learned through him how to be more myself, as I was always told how to be when I was growing up because for some reason myself was not good enough, anyways not to go on and on we have evolved together over 15 years and are married, and I have all the notes my husband wrote to me through out our relationship oh how he felt inside about us, not everyone meets a young man who is emotionally mature but I thank wtv connected us. Life works in mysterious ways sometimes.
Thank you Darcy. Excellent advice, and I truly appreciate you sharing it here 🙂🌼
Definitely some of the best relationship advice I have come across.. Thank you Bernardo.
I like the honest, self empowering approach. No games, no BS, no petty manipulations.. Simply show up as the best version of ourselves and the good ones will stick around
Great content- always appreciate it!
Thank you! That's very helpful!
Would you expand on the last point in some video about how men think/process things differently?
Thank you for the suggestion.
Precious tips.
Thank you so much for sharing with us your long term gathered wisdom.
Sober clear communication including our emotions makes all the difference.
Very good advice, thank-you so much!
You’re welcome.
ALWAYS GREAT inside info on how to better communicate with men! Not your usual topic, but you could do well in giving a lot of this info to men too! Just a thought....
Thank you Page appreciate your feedback.
Your insight is always eye opening
I found this information helpful and insightful.
God bless you
That one vidéo is at very good one, efficient, straight to thé point !❤ should be translated into french so I could share it widely!
Thank you so much for your kind words.
It's not just about his behaviour, but compatibility and all that is cpontaoined there.
How do men "make up THEIR mind" about complex important matters, without going back and forth in a brainstorming process with the people involved?
What good will his "simple clear-cut solution" be if his understanding of the situation at hand can never be course corrected along the way.
I dont get it.
Usually the solution a man comes up with on his own in his man cave, does not really match the situation. And then you cannot critisize his solution or he withdraws and ghosts.
How is useful problem solving between a woman and a man even possible?
Honesty is what you are looking for...
it is helpful
At 8:40 I'm hearing: "Your truest emotion means rovolrmy". What is that word? It's a puzzling mystery!
I checked the transcript and it appears that he’s saying “raw vulnerability”.
Haha “Raw vulnerability” :)
Yes
@@BernMendez Ah - thanks! :)
Think his mixed of Mexican and American accent together... or mixed of 2 language together heavily lol
Vamos por buen camino :))
Abstracts..
Hi Bern, two comments from my side:
A) what is emotional intimacy?
B) I don't agree with you on point that I should share with a guy points which I admire in him. This can happen but ONLY in case of certain and pretty limited range of things, like certain behaviors only. But if I share with a guy that I admire his looks coz he's sexy and handsome, it makes him eve more anxious or angry coz he wants to feel validated. Or if I share with him that I admire his willingness to do chores at home as an only person it only makes him feel worse coz he feels like a pushover at home. Or if I share with him that I admire him that he likes to cry it makes him anxious or sad that I perceive him as a weak person. Or if I share with him that I admire him coz he's my best in sex it makes him anxious because he is afraid I will leave him as soon as the first-months high dopamine level fades away. Such a list goes on. So I truly think you should reformulate your advice or think it over again.
Hi there, Thanks for sharing. Emotional intimacy: depth of connection at the level of sharing deep wants, needs, feelings, dreams, failures, the whole inner world that is often alone and untapped. As to your suggestion here's the thing.... Men need to know what they're doing well. And the admiration I'm suggesting is not about his looks but his character. Now, you're certainly free to withhold your admiration from him, but he will still seek it and perhaps from someone else.
Thank you❤❤❤
You're welcome 😊
Ese acento es lo que nos hace súper interesantes, o no??😉
All this does is make men run away from you bc they feel like you like them and they have you in the bag so they run off after women who reject them so that they can feel the thrill of the chase. And you have fueled his ego so he is even more confident in his ability to attract "better" women then he did before you.
That’s why discernment is necessary. All the advice and wisdom on this video is fantastic but ultimately Gods timing and ordainment is what determines success or not. But everyone has their own view of success anyway
@@emmasmith7590 Not everyone is on the god train
Very true. They are called players.
Men aren’t interested in sharing that stuff with or from you UNLESS they are also physically attracted to you. The two are not interchangeable.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you Joanna.
🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Robyn, thank you for watching : )
Who in the hell cares?
hey, good question- just tens of thousands of viewers + counting in under the first month. mostly single ladies looking to better understand men.
Why the hell are you listening?