My mother in law opresses me.she force me to do all the things which she says.my husband dont take any action.even my husband involve her mother in many matters. Plz pray for me i am very tense.pray for my hubby may Allah give him hidayat.
Allah will perfect everything for us all, I'm also in the same situation. Not easy to bear but Allah's promises keep me going. Sending love to you all.. 💓
My husband has always stood up for me. May God bless his heart. This act of his has prevented his parents from ever trying to overstep their boundaries. It has also prevented me from disrespecting his parents. He loves his parents but he has always put me first in both words and actions. I really admire him for being this kind and compassionate towards me as his wife
Having your husband stand up for his wife is what is needed for most mothers to come to realisation that it's not okay to treat a wife wrongly. I will never understand why some woman can treat another woman badly?
My husband stands up for me but his mother does not listen, she curses him instead. Says I’m the root of all the problems when she is the one who tortures me and laughs when I say u hurt me and curses my kids as well. I am cutting her off bc she is toxic and hurting my kids is the last straw
Wow. This is great. I'm Christian and I've tried to explain this to husband. His mother would always want him to do for her, when she has her own husband. Put me aside. I enjoy listening to you.
Pádraigín O'Hare dear this is a universal matter so has nothing to do with one religion but i pray you may find peace and cheer whichever best suited way you live.
Even my mother in law is the same.. she has her own husband to spend for her but she never asks him but she always wants everything from my husband so always I don't get anything I want for myself.. I'm pregnant but she doesn't let my husband to get me things I like.. she's like making things harder for me..
That's not a husband, that's a man-child, I'm sorry to say. Men, real men, have gone to war for the woman they truly loved. And passion isn't love. Love is spirit. That's why a man needs to be mature before he looks for a wife. Intellectually, emotionally and financially mature. His primary responsibility is to the new seed he is planting to grow: His OWN family!
someone needs to give this man an award. Simple, direct straight to the point & articulate what most spouse out there feels having to face a difficult MIL situation.
Thank you for this video. In Asian families this is so common. I see this as a therapist so often. It's called enmeshement trauma. It's very difficult to get out of this pattern.
I love this. This message is so perfect. Yes, it is the husbands responsibility to defend and protect his wife. Mother in law cannot abuse his wife if he does not allow it. Any man who allows his mother to disrespect his wife and bully her, does not understand the meaning of marriage and love.
@@mahreenmalik15 A man that refuses to stand up to his mother in order to defend his wife is actually AFRAID of his mother. In his mind, he is still the six year old little boy who always seeking mommy's approval. Mother KNOWS this and that is how she manipulates him. She is jealous of his wife, who she is COMPETING with for the title of "most important woman in my son's life". A man who cowers down to this manipulative, controlling, behavior from his mother, really is not ready to be married. They are not mature enough. They are not a strong alpha male and they really should have just stayed living in their family home with their mothers, playing with their childhood toys.
@@mahreenmalik15 I'm so sorry to hear this. My mother in law came to California to visit us from New Jersey a year ago. She stayed for 16 days. The entire time she was there, she criticized every single thing that I did and tried to give me orders in my own home. She even said nasty things about my family members. After she left and went home, I stopped contacting her and my husband told her why. She denies any accountability and has tried to shift the blame on to me. I kept my mouth shut the whole time and allowed her to insult me. I did not want any problems. The incident caused MANY fights between my husband and I for the past year. He is now on my side and very angry at this mother for the problems she has caused. If he was NOT on my side, I would be planning our divorce. Keep your chin up and be strong. Keep fighting for your marriage and keep explaining to your husband about the damage that his mother is causing. If he cannot ever come around and support you, then I hope that you have another life plan. Somewhere else to go so you can get away from both of them, because they will abuse you. Best of luck to you!
@@blitzkrieg6872 I’m happy you fought and kept your trust in Allah and that it worked!! I talked to my husband again…and told him he needs to draw boundaries or I want a separate home and he’s agreed to talk to her otherwise I will be living separately. Making dua that Allah gives me the strength to stand against her and protect my life and my marriage. Thank you sis, may Allah protect you from all evil things and people and put even more barakah in your marriage 💖
Masha Allah!!! May Allah grant you goodness in this world as well in the hereafter Ameeen...Your family and our families and the 《《Ummah》》 at large Ameeen...
My mil is never happy with the way I manage the household and assumes I am lazy because I am not working? Alhumdulillah I have a loveable family who understands me and doesn't judge me . Thanks to Allah for my mom
@@lovedsky1114 I don’t . I just ignore them as much as possible but I am also polite . I don’t extend conversations and give short answers respectfully. They call me moody but idc. As long as I don’t disrespect them it’s fine .
My in laws think daughter in law's are house workers...one day I said to them that I'm not a house worker...that time they asked to me that why did you came here then, I was shocked they are talking to me in this manner...after that they called her daughter and said wrong thing that they said that I was told them that I didn't came here to lookafter them...they were saying like that...but I said I'm not a worker...my husband lives 400 ks away because of work...I don't knw what to do how to deal with them but 8 can't left my in laws house I want live here .....but sadly I'm a depression patient...I become angry very easily...but they Didn't care about my mental health...🥺
Many people forget what comes around goes around if you tret badly your daughter inlaw remember if you have daughter when they get married they will be treat badly to their mother in law and lets look second side if you treat bad your mother in law remember your son' s wife will treat you bad
Mufti menk is trying hard to get most Votes from pretty sisters, Hes Lucky his own mother is no more if she was alive then he would see that this girls cant Stand any women around her Husband, whether it's her mom in law or sis in law, this Selfish western Narrow mind Women just think they have bought the husband. They cant think that a woman sacrifice her whole life to raise the Son, when he takes a Wife he is her property, and Mother is nomore
i got married to Muslim man at 16, him and his family abused me so I got divorced at 18 years old. At 19 got married again to Muslim man. My ex husband married me but he was talking to girls but he still married me, he didn't provide for me then after a year of marriage he went Pakistan and got married to another girl, then he divorced her. After sometime he got a girl pregnant, he told her a big bag of lies about me and this Muslim girl didn't know about me but he was still with me. I found out and got divorced but he was cheating on her with other girls and she was pregnant, moved her out of London so she dont find out about me. SubhanAllaah At 30 years got married AGAIN. Now my husband lied and tricked me into polygamy marriage, I cry and I'm so upset how a man can lie and trick me into polygamy marriage SubhanAllaah. The other wife dont know about me, he moved her out of London Tooting area to Blackpool in 2019 summer time, so I dont leave him, now he tells me their is no wife "Sakina", I said because you moved her to Blackpool so I cant tell her now and the wife didn't even question him, the mans moved you out of London SubhanAllaah. My husband was talking to girls online, he didnt tell girls hos married with children. My husband is so charming and sweet, you cant tell how evil he is in the heart. He fooled his first wife so much. She dont know about me and my son, she dont know about the dating apps, she dont know he was talking to girls online, she dont know nothing, she dont know how fake he is but Allah swt must love me so much that's why Allah swt exposed my husband to me! SubhanAllaah Be careful sisters, dont trust noone. Most Muslim brothers have other girls and that's how it is nowadays SubhanAllaah. My was husband had me and her then he was talking to other girls for marriage, he didn't tell these girls he was married with children. He was talking to girls online and his family took him to see other girls at their homes "CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT" you know your son is married with children and your taking him to see other girls for marriage SubhanAllaah. Alot of guys are married or have secret wives and secret girlfriends and secret children SubhanAllaah Ya Allah so please be careful, be careful. I cry so much because I love him, unconditional love Allah swt put in my heart for my husband. Now I'm suffering with mental health issues, emotional abuse too because he was married I got a infection from him too from him having sex with the wife and that's how I found out he was married to another woman SubhanAllaah. The wife still dont know about me Terrible. Please don't listen to these Muslim brothers. Take your time. Forget lust/sexual desires please.
@@brightstar8074 what about wife’s mom?? Didn’t she raised her Don’t marry with ur sick head and don’t spoil girks life Just bring maid to your mom instead of wife Oh right u want maid who works for free
@@brightstar8074 Someone sounds bitter. Are you such mother 😂 this is the circle of life, mom is not longer the only priority in a man’s life, if moms want their sons for themselves, then they’re very sick in the head. They genuinely need help; imagine being jealous of your daughter in law. That’s messed up.
I was so dearly to my inlaws. Never brought my parents in between my life. Hiden many secrets for the sake of Allah. But everything went out of hand. My child died in my womb. My husbands illness gone worse. They made my husband to hate my family. We lost peace, my first child and my family
This verse is more fitting. Quran 4:135 O you who have believed, be persistently standing firm in justice, witnesses for Allah, even if it be against yourselves or parents and relatives. Whether one is rich or poor, Allah is more worthy of both. So follow not [personal] inclination, lest you not be just. And if you distort [your testimony] or refuse [to give it], then indeed Allah is ever, with what you do, Acquainted.
I haven’t seen a person as worst as my mil.. she became more cruel during my pregnancy.. my husband neither is in favour of me nor against me.. being pregnant it’s not easy to handle all this as it stresses me so much that I’m afraid that it will hurt my unborn baby.. May Allah ease our difficulties
She probably attacked you when you are at your most vulnerable. It does cause stress to the baby. Just like happiness does good. Please don't stress about the stress though.
I was in ur situation and I became very depressed Accept the fact that ur husband is not a man who can’t b with u during pregnancy he is worst Only way u can change him by just love ur kid love her lot and make ur husband miss u both
Making dua for all sisters going through this and dealing with evil in laws along with myself, sisters let’s make dua for each other in tahajjud, that Allah gives us strength to deal with this evil people and that Allah punishes those who cause issues between husband and wife.
Thank you Mufti sir, i really struggle to maintain peace in my married life, sometimes i feel discouraged sometimes when my mom&dad in laws are difficult to understand.
ow waw. Thank u. I'm a Christian engaged to a Muslim and struggle on how to handle in-law (negative ) influence in our relationship, in a respectful manner. Love the way you bring the message across. Thank you and stay blessed.
My in laws keep insulting me even though my husband and I moved out. Every week MIL will call me and insult in the most stupid way. This week I told my husband enough is enough, I don't want anything to do his family. He and our son can visit his family but I refuse to go. I just had enough.
Doing the same right now. She is manipulating wispering to him and he say nothing to her. I should call her every other day to make mental abuse . I hate her so much. She is a horrible person. Now i said i will not have any contact to them. Now i will see if he will divorce me
@@elishaaazee6184 You just need to tell yourself enough is enough. You keep your distance from them and work on your mental wellbeing. Just remember you are not here to please anyone else. If they don't like you, it's their loss and move on.
My husband knows his parents are doing wrong to me but he said he will not utter a single word againts them. Most of the mens thinks they have to only ans Allah about their parents in akhirah not about their spouse.
Thats true..even if he knows she is wrong ..you are asked to say sorry n if you are staying with your husband that seems as if you are doing something wrong means they want everything earn give money to them be a maid and stay without husband.
I am a Hindu, but I completely agree with each and every word of yours because I am going through the same situation which every daughter in law go through. My mother in law is an oppressor and a very dominating lady and now after 5 years of marriage the time has come where I have stopped talking to her completely, not doing anything for her because she is abusive, she curses my parents, she is even creating differences between me and my small 3 years baby....I have become abusive too now because I keep fighting with her and giving her replies in her language, and I think this is making making me bad and bad every day and that can badly affect my small baby as well in future. So, I have just taken aback and decided not to keep any kind of relation with her now, Hope I am doing the right thing.
As a wife of this period when i married suddenly after few months I saw how my mother in law hates me I pray for her but she always think am a master mind this tht I pray to Allah why she hates me when do not even wish bad for her . The fact tht she abused me nd now am not gonna talk to her at any cost bcz when ppl stay away they show much love
Alhamdulillah, an utmost important lecture specifically on ill-balanced condition of life after marriage, wherein it’s very difficult to measure by weight machine has been resolved by Mufti Menk in touch of Quranic verses. Words fail to express my satisfaction and happiness on his brilliant prescription on solution of this difficult topic of the societies. Let's help each other to resolve the matter, wama tawfiqi illah billah, amen.
I wish in-laws could understand that daughters in law came to build. Sacrificed being with their families and opted to carry the new surname. Love and respect is all they need.
@Entertainment4ever u are evil Please don't marry any woman n spoil her life! Your words appear that u love your stupid parents for raising you up with evil.thoughts! ..... now u will b angry with me for insulting your parents.....I give a damm to those men and to those in laws who are insane and evil !
I wish my husband would understand this. He always says he don’t think his mother’s behaviour is bad or she didn’t mean it that way. He always justifies her behaviour.
Asalam o alikum , please pray for my marriage also , my motherinlaw is giving me alot of problems and she just wants to end our marriage .kindly pray for my successful marriage
I am so scared that this is happening to me. I truly respect my inlaws, tried to understand where they come from and understand their difficulties. So much has happened. And he stood up for me sometimes. Sometimes he didnt. Its okay, I respect that. I find it important that he thinks about what he himself finds important. That he stays true to his opinion, with guidance from Allah swt ofcourse. But I feel so sad because all what had happened. I feel hurt because of the words what is said about me. I tried to be as honest as I can be, with pure intentions. But still, my sincerity was questioned. Now, he stands for a important decision. I support him, but I have my boundaries. I hope Allah will guide us all. In Shaa Allah, please I ask You for guidance. To make it easier for us.
this is one of the many reasons why south asian men in particular always struggle to find a spouse - south asian men are the ones who are too close to their parents. learn how to cut the strings if you want a wife so bad.
Im watching this video in pain.. because of my dear mother in law's mental torture and harrassment for these many years from the day of marriage , i started getting heart problems ... now im in deep depression .. as im taking care of my kids alone and my husband lives abroad... she , her husband , her son in law and her 3 daughters together have made my life hell.. my only hope is Allah... i lost patience.. i wish Allah takes me and my kids from this world.. i had enough... i need peace..
Dear sister.. I came to understand your level of pain when you mentioned that you wanted Allah to take yours and your kids lives! Miss I have one suggestion for you.. slowly slowly start describing your husband everything that they do to trouble you.. let him not remain in peace in a job away from his wife and ignoring the wife's as well as children's rights.. tell him to return back.. don't fear about sustenance Allah will make new ways for that.. it's our fear rather than trust on Allah that is our enemy.. sister..Last but not the least after every prayer pray to Allah to release you from the chains of this in-laws.. that house is no more than a cage and those in-laws are nothing but chains especially those three sister in law's and the greatest of the great mother in law, all of them are choking you to death with an invisible pillow ... Lastly I would suggest just pray to Allah in sajda complain to him.. Allah made you get into this situation na so pray to him only for solutions.. believe me I became very powerful after marriage this way with the help of Allah ..no one can interfere in me and my husband's affairs not even his mother .. even if she tries she fails miserably .. so take your problm to Allah .. he gave you this life.. he will only give you ideas to deal with this..
@@konianfatima7025 thank u so much sister...ur words r really consoling ... il do it from today sister and i hope Allah will help me from these problems and restores peace in my life..
@@roselion5313 🤣🤣🤣🤣...I feel your pain..I think is just better to seek Allah's protection from them....I say that all the time, ya Rabb, u can give this whole Dunya and everything that it contain to my in laws if u wish, so long as I am protected from whatever evil plot they might have against me am good...Just protect me from their harm whether small or big..My Marriage ya Rabb, my marriage protect it for me and I will do my part..So far my duas are being answered and I am so grateful...Knowing that Allah got my back, I just run to him instead of the man who took responsibility to protect me
You are one amazing speaker brother may Allah SWT bless you and your family with endless bounties Ameen! Yes some mother in law problems never go away even after almost 35 years of marriage the problems of day 1 exist because the husband hears only what he wants to hear leaving the wife hurt after insult upon injury upon insult repeatedly very sad but when bought up he ll simply say "when did I say that? Such n such never happened"it's unfortunate how many of us live with a hatred boiling inside us because the husbands don't want anything to do with standing up for the wife yes brother u are right we curse them every time they speak ill or humiliate us with a hatred that grows stronger every time sadly. We can only teach our sons not to be that way and to be respectful and helpful to their wives and take pride in that not be ashamed or make it a macho man matter
My in laws are more cultural and my husband listens to them . He doesn’t stick up for me when his mother shouts at me and many other problems. I don’t want to live with them. I have the same routine everyday and I have bad depression :’(
My mother inlaw sabotages my son perpously,feeds him unhealthy foods bags of candy and lies to me when I confront her she does this purposely because she knows I care do much about his health and wants a reaction out of me and plays victim when I get angry all I want is her to respect my parenting Allah please help me people please pray for me
After reading all the comments , i feel like everybody is dealing with a complicated motherinlaw , what i feel is , the only solution is try not to get into an argumnet , and whenever you sense that an argumnt is starting you should leave the conversation, Silence is better probably, You should also not lose your personality , you should try to get yourself busy with some work , some hobby or some job that keeps you happy , May be we can get peace that way. Because when someone gets us angry we say things that we don’t wanna say , May be talking less is also one of the solutions. I am trying to figure out the solution to this problem, Kindly pray for me also and don’t lose your self. I wish everybody gets a peacful and happy married life , everybody deserves peace of mind. Kindly Keep me in your prayers
Most often husband in the root of these issue. Mother in laws will be difficult but if their sons don’t have a backbone to maintain balance in a relationship, can you simply blame their moms? Obviously they will take advantage if they see that their sons can’t defend their wives!
Youre very wrong. I am husband and wallah i fight my mother to protect my wife n family from her evil But even that did not stop her evil. Infact this create more fights n she accuse me very badly like im not her son, she dont want to see my face, she would aaq me, she would say bad dua etc. Then i had to be sorry and beg down !! There is no way to tackle a woman against a woman exceot following the Prophet pbuh instruction of separating house. Allah knows this all, and Prophet pbuh instructed parents to separate house of child after marriage. Either this, or separate all the kitchen dependency. There is no way your kitchen is same. This the only solution. Force your husbands for separate house, or die trying.
I suffered of living with my mother in law , nearly destroyed my marriage. Nö we are Not longer Part of the Family because husband Stand Up for me. I knew all the time that IT was Not right to treat her Like a king
@@candycrush1316 Arnestly i think that i had help from almighty ALLAH. Its my thinking , because the intensions of living with my mother in law were pure and it was my own dessicion and free will . It almost destroyed my self . Long time my husband was only on his mothers side , everything was in the end only about discussing the last fight. It was when she turned His brothers against him because of me that he focused on Future and what he wanted. Thats how i think it happened
My mother in law and father in law are not the worst person I ever seen but they have a tendency to blame me for everything. For example , my daughter has Rett syndrome and she is 4 years and cannot speak properly. They I talk less and continued my college while I was pregnant with her cause this disorder in my daughter
The muftis and sheiks of the sub continent need to speak up for the young ladies out there. A Young lady in a household is very vulnerable. The people in power need to stand up for them.
Its so heard. I try so much, gone through hell and no peace . Why Allah made me a wife, I have no right ,no place in Islam, no place in society. It so wrong. I came to this world to suffer. Nothing is enough
Yes I also hate my in laws n my husband but I have to love with those heartless monsters for the sake of my children life. Right now what I really want is , a safe happy peace with the guidance of Allah to my children and end this dunya life . I want to fulfill all my responsibilities as a mother and this dunya life without even wasting a millisecond . Even in janah I dont won't marriage , I don't wont any partner to me , entering janah is itself enough . Seriously I don't wont to see thier face. He n his mother n sis is only a curse of my life😭😭😭😭
My husband mentions that he can get 10 wives but can get his parents . His mom will take him to jannah it seems. I m also waiting for the day of judgement where Allah itself deal with my divorce.
My marriage is breaking down because of my Mother in law and it was just 5 months of our marriage. My husband doesn’t support me. May Allah(swt) helps us to save our marriage. I am really not understanding what should i do nothing is working.
Alot of wife are lucky to their husband, and alot of ladies unlucky like me,my mother inlaw and her daughter oppress me,my husband he don't even protect me,he will be with them more and more, every day, every time I'm crying, I'm wishing my parents with me,but they're living to the other country 🤲🤲🤲
Just in case if people don’t know: It is from one of the famous, well respected, renowned scholar, religiously women are not obligated to serve their parents in law, and men are obligated to provide them a separate place. I know it's good news for women, it is what it is.
My mother in law opresses me.she force me to do all the things which she says.my husband dont take any action.even my husband involve her mother in many matters. Plz pray for me i am very tense.pray for my hubby may Allah give him hidayat.
Leave if you are oppressed by them my sister. Allah will give you what you deserve. You need to help yourself
Hi. U OK. I am same situation like u
Allah will perfect everything for us all, I'm also in the same situation. Not easy to bear but Allah's promises keep me going.
Sending love to you all.. 💓
Patient, Allah will reward you.
Get out get a job
When my husband didn't step up for me, I stood up for myself. Alhamdulillah
Very good 👍
How did that end Nileema?
Nileema Khatun how
Did that end?
I did the same thing...
I did too, I had to. it was too stressful
My husband has always stood up for me. May God bless his heart. This act of his has prevented his parents from ever trying to overstep their boundaries. It has also prevented me from disrespecting his parents. He loves his parents but he has always put me first in both words and actions. I really admire him for being this kind and compassionate towards me as his wife
Mufti Menk's wife is a lucky woman
Masha Allah. They are both blessed.
Because he follows prophet Mohammed saw saying.....
@@SHORTIMAANBOOSTERS MashaAllah.
I always think that wot a lucky woman she is 💞💞💞💞💞💞
True mashaa allah
It’s actually heart breaking when you treat someone as your own mother but in return they treat you like an outsider.
True
True
I need a man like mufti menk...
May Allah continue to bless Mufti Menk.
He can have up to four wives😁
@@xx-ve6pf shut up u ignorant muslim
🤣🤣🤣🤣
I literally cried a lot after listening this may Allah grant us hidayat
Having your husband stand up for his wife is what is needed for most mothers to come to realisation that it's not okay to treat a wife wrongly. I will never understand why some woman can treat another woman badly?
Yes men need to be strong and be a man and stand up when someone is wrong against their spouse.
A woman is an enemy to a woman
Me toooo
Jealously. Simple.
My husband stands up for me but his mother does not listen, she curses him instead. Says I’m the root of all the problems when she is the one who tortures me and laughs when I say u hurt me and curses my kids as well. I am cutting her off bc she is toxic and hurting my kids is the last straw
Wow. This is great. I'm Christian and I've tried to explain this to husband. His mother would always want him to do for her, when she has her own husband. Put me aside. I enjoy listening to you.
Thanks for watching
Pádraigín O'Hare dear this is a universal matter so has nothing to do with one religion but i pray you may find peace and cheer whichever best suited way you live.
mashaAllah
Even my mother in law is the same.. she has her own husband to spend for her but she never asks him but she always wants everything from my husband so always I don't get anything I want for myself.. I'm pregnant but she doesn't let my husband to get me things I like.. she's like making things harder for me..
He is the only one who speaks about women's right❤️
Thank you so much mufti menk❤️
It’s always soothing to me while listening to him
Yes indeed it is
Thank you for watching
That's not a husband, that's a man-child, I'm sorry to say. Men, real men, have gone to war for the woman they truly loved. And passion isn't love. Love is spirit. That's why a man needs to be mature before he looks for a wife. Intellectually, emotionally and financially mature. His primary responsibility is to the new seed he is planting to grow: His OWN family!
Maa Shaa Allah. Really enlightening, Sheikh. May ALLAH SWT bless you and your family. Aameen. Aameen for the Ummah too!
Whenever I listen mufti men’s lecture I feel so relaxed and fresh
someone needs to give this man an award. Simple, direct straight to the point & articulate what most spouse out there feels having to face a difficult MIL situation.
Stand up for yourself if your husband doesn't stand up for you
JazakAllah khair ALLAH Swt make us mothers be good to our daughter in law
AMEEN Rabbel Alamin
Ameen
R M ameen
Just listening to this has just saved me in the such a desperate time. Thank you thank you . May Allah grant us al firdous ameen
Thank you for this video. In Asian families this is so common. I see this as a therapist so often. It's called enmeshement trauma. It's very difficult to get out of this pattern.
enmeshement trauma. taking notes here
I love this. This message is so perfect. Yes, it is the husbands responsibility to defend and protect his wife. Mother in law cannot abuse his wife if he does not allow it. Any man who allows his mother to disrespect his wife and bully her, does not understand the meaning of marriage and love.
Agreed! Any man that allows it is not a MAN
@@mahreenmalik15 A man that refuses to stand up to his mother in order to defend his wife is actually AFRAID of his mother. In his mind, he is still the six year old little boy who always seeking mommy's approval. Mother KNOWS this and that is how she manipulates him. She is jealous of his wife, who she is COMPETING with for the title of "most important woman in my son's life". A man who cowers down to this manipulative, controlling, behavior from his mother, really is not ready to be married. They are not mature enough. They are not a strong alpha male and they really should have just stayed living in their family home with their mothers, playing with their childhood toys.
@@blitzkrieg6872 agreed! But how do we deal with this? It’s breaking my marriage and I’ve only been married 3 years and have a child with him 😞
@@mahreenmalik15 I'm so sorry to hear this. My mother in law came to California to visit us from New Jersey a year ago. She stayed for 16 days. The entire time she was there, she criticized every single thing that I did and tried to give me orders in my own home. She even said nasty things about my family members. After she left and went home, I stopped contacting her and my husband told her why. She denies any accountability and has tried to shift the blame on to me. I kept my mouth shut the whole time and allowed her to insult me. I did not want any problems. The incident caused MANY fights between my husband and I for the past year. He is now on my side and very angry at this mother for the problems she has caused. If he was NOT on my side, I would be planning our divorce. Keep your chin up and be strong. Keep fighting for your marriage and keep explaining to your husband about the damage that his mother is causing. If he cannot ever come around and support you, then I hope that you have another life plan. Somewhere else to go so you can get away from both of them, because they will abuse you.
Best of luck to you!
@@blitzkrieg6872 I’m happy you fought and kept your trust in Allah and that it worked!! I talked to my husband again…and told him he needs to draw boundaries or I want a separate home and he’s agreed to talk to her otherwise I will be living separately. Making dua that Allah gives me the strength to stand against her and protect my life and my marriage. Thank you sis, may Allah protect you from all evil things and people and put even more barakah in your marriage 💖
I feel like Mufti is talking to me about my current situation. I wish my husband had the same wisdom.
Aameen.
Islam is clear, crystal clear from every corner, thank you for the sharing Mufti meink
Masha Allah!!! May Allah grant you goodness in this world as well in the hereafter Ameeen...Your family and our families and the 《《Ummah》》 at large Ameeen...
Ameen. Barak Allah Feek
Ameen. Barak Allah Feek
Ameen. Barak Allah Feek
Thum Aameen
May Allah bless my mother in law !
Ameen !
Sir woww... No words to thank you.. everyone should learn from this female and male👍
So true. Masha Allah
My mil is never happy with the way I manage the household and assumes I am lazy because I am not working? Alhumdulillah I have a loveable family who understands me and doesn't judge me . Thanks to Allah for my mom
Same how do u cope with yr mil?
@@lovedsky1114 I don’t . I just ignore them as much as possible but I am also polite . I don’t extend conversations and give short answers respectfully. They call me moody but idc. As long as I don’t disrespect them it’s fine .
My in laws think daughter in law's are house workers...one day I said to them that I'm not a house worker...that time they asked to me
that why did you came here then, I was shocked they are talking to me in this manner...after that they called her daughter and said wrong thing that they said that I was told them that I didn't came here to lookafter them...they were saying like that...but I said I'm not a worker...my husband lives 400 ks away because of work...I don't knw what to do how to deal with them but 8 can't left my in laws house I want live here .....but sadly I'm a depression patient...I become angry very easily...but they Didn't care about my mental health...🥺
Love this, truth is universal.
Many people forget what comes around goes around if you tret badly your daughter inlaw remember if you have daughter when they get married they will be treat badly to their mother in law and lets look second side if you treat bad your mother in law remember your son' s wife will treat you bad
Mufti menk is trying hard to get most Votes from pretty sisters, Hes Lucky his own mother is no more if she was alive then he would see that this girls cant Stand any women around her Husband, whether it's her mom in law or sis in law, this Selfish western Narrow mind Women just think they have bought the husband.
They cant think that a woman sacrifice her whole life to raise the Son, when he takes a Wife he is her property, and Mother is nomore
i got married to Muslim man at 16, him and his family abused me so I got divorced at 18 years old.
At 19 got married again to Muslim man. My ex husband married me but he was talking to girls but he still married me, he didn't provide for me then after a year of marriage he went Pakistan and got married to another girl, then he divorced her. After sometime he got a girl pregnant, he told her a big bag of lies about me and this Muslim girl didn't know about me but he was still with me. I found out and got divorced but he was cheating on her with other girls and she was pregnant, moved her out of London so she dont find out about me. SubhanAllaah
At 30 years got married AGAIN. Now my husband lied and tricked me into polygamy marriage, I cry and I'm so upset how a man can lie and trick me into polygamy marriage SubhanAllaah. The other wife dont know about me, he moved her out of London Tooting area to Blackpool in 2019 summer time, so I dont leave him, now he tells me their is no wife "Sakina", I said because you moved her to Blackpool so I cant tell her now and the wife didn't even question him, the mans moved you out of London SubhanAllaah.
My husband was talking to girls online, he didnt tell girls hos married with children. My husband is so charming and sweet, you cant tell how evil he is in the heart. He fooled his first wife so much.
She dont know about me and my son, she dont know about the dating apps, she dont know he was talking to girls online, she dont know nothing, she dont know how fake he is but Allah swt must love me so much that's why Allah swt exposed my husband to me! SubhanAllaah
Be careful sisters, dont trust noone. Most Muslim brothers have other girls and that's how it is nowadays SubhanAllaah. My was husband had me and her then he was talking to other girls for marriage, he didn't tell these girls he was married with children.
He was talking to girls online and his family took him to see other girls at their homes "CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT" you know your son is married with children and your taking him to see other girls for marriage SubhanAllaah.
Alot of guys are married or have secret wives and secret girlfriends and secret children SubhanAllaah Ya Allah so please be careful, be careful. I cry so much because I love him, unconditional love Allah swt put in my heart for my husband.
Now I'm suffering with mental health issues, emotional abuse too because he was married I got a infection from him too from him having sex with the wife and that's how I found out he was married to another woman SubhanAllaah. The wife still dont know about me Terrible.
Please don't listen to these Muslim brothers. Take your time. Forget lust/sexual desires please.
@@brightstar8074 what about wife’s mom?? Didn’t she raised her
Don’t marry with ur sick head and don’t spoil girks life
Just bring maid to your mom instead of wife
Oh right u want maid who works for free
@@brightstar8074 Someone sounds bitter. Are you such mother 😂 this is the circle of life, mom is not longer the only priority in a man’s life, if moms want their sons for themselves, then they’re very sick in the head. They genuinely need help; imagine being jealous of your daughter in law. That’s messed up.
Thank you so much for beautifully explaining this issue. May Allah (SWT) bless you
Ameen
I was so dearly to my inlaws. Never brought my parents in between my life. Hiden many secrets for the sake of Allah. But everything went out of hand. My child died in my womb. My husbands illness gone worse. They made my husband to hate my family. We lost peace, my first child and my family
Mashallah beautiful advice to many many muslims who make mistakes and wrong.
This verse is more fitting. Quran 4:135
O you who have believed, be persistently standing firm in justice, witnesses for Allah, even if it be against yourselves or parents and relatives. Whether one is rich or poor, Allah is more worthy of both. So follow not [personal] inclination, lest you not be just. And if you distort [your testimony] or refuse [to give it], then indeed Allah is ever, with what you do, Acquainted.
I haven’t seen a person as worst as my mil.. she became more cruel during my pregnancy.. my husband neither is in favour of me nor against me.. being pregnant it’s not easy to handle all this as it stresses me so much that I’m afraid that it will hurt my unborn baby..
May Allah ease our difficulties
She probably attacked you when you are at your most vulnerable. It does cause stress to the baby. Just like happiness does good. Please don't stress about the stress though.
I was in ur situation and I became very depressed
Accept the fact that ur husband is not a man who can’t b with u during pregnancy he is worst
Only way u can change him by just love ur kid love her lot and make ur husband miss u both
Ameen and punish wrong people as bad as ALLAH can.
Making dua for all sisters going through this and dealing with evil in laws along with myself, sisters let’s make dua for each other in tahajjud, that Allah gives us strength to deal with this evil people and that Allah punishes those who cause issues between husband and wife.
May Allah help u dear
My husband is always silent and never defends me. It hurt's so much
Start loving yourself. It will help to defend your own self❤️
Mine is the same story
Taqwa is more than using fatwa.may allah grant us patience n tawakkul.
Ameen
Thank you Mufti sir, i really struggle to maintain peace in my married life, sometimes i feel discouraged sometimes when my mom&dad in laws are difficult to understand.
Subhanallah thankful to be a Muslim ❤❤
ow waw. Thank u. I'm a Christian engaged to a Muslim and struggle on how to handle in-law (negative ) influence in our relationship, in a respectful manner. Love the way you bring the message across. Thank you and stay blessed.
My in laws keep insulting me even though my husband and I moved out. Every week MIL will call me and insult in the most stupid way. This week I told my husband enough is enough, I don't want anything to do his family. He and our son can visit his family but I refuse to go. I just had enough.
Same here I stopped every contact with them
Good for you. All the best. Good luck in your life. I hope you have happiness. Stand up for yourself .😘
@@Beg-k9l how did you deal with this plesss
Doing the same right now. She is manipulating wispering to him and he say nothing to her. I should call her every other day to make mental abuse . I hate her so much. She is a horrible person. Now i said i will not have any contact to them. Now i will see if he will divorce me
@@elishaaazee6184 You just need to tell yourself enough is enough. You keep your distance from them and work on your mental wellbeing. Just remember you are not here to please anyone else. If they don't like you, it's their loss and move on.
Allah has sent you to stop this evil❤️
My husband knows his parents are doing wrong to me but he said he will not utter a single word againts them. Most of the mens thinks they have to only ans Allah about their parents in akhirah not about their spouse.
May Allah help guide your spouse and give you ease in these difficult times. Ameen.
Yes true, with my husband... He thinks he cannot speak bad to his parents, it's okay ...
Thats true..even if he knows she is wrong ..you are asked to say sorry n if you are staying with your husband that seems as if you are doing something wrong means they want everything earn give money to them be a maid and stay without husband.
Sorry to say but your husband is not a man...a real.man is he who knows how to balance relations...
@moboy m he would say what's wrong with how I treat you
Am not even Muslim but iam in love with this message. If I could tag all the men here.
I am a Hindu, but I completely agree with each and every word of yours because I am going through the same situation which every daughter in law go through. My mother in law is an oppressor and a very dominating lady and now after 5 years of marriage the time has come where I have stopped talking to her completely, not doing anything for her because she is abusive, she curses my parents, she is even creating differences between me and my small 3 years baby....I have become abusive too now because I keep fighting with her and giving her replies in her language, and I think this is making making me bad and bad every day and that can badly affect my small baby as well in future. So, I have just taken aback and decided not to keep any kind of relation with her now, Hope I am doing the right thing.
As a wife of this period when i married suddenly after few months I saw how my mother in law hates me I pray for her but she always think am a master mind this tht I pray to Allah why she hates me when do not even wish bad for her . The fact tht she abused me nd now am not gonna talk to her at any cost bcz when ppl stay away they show much love
on this video i see almost all comments are frm sisters.. on a lighter side, mufti menk has touched that spl chord..
Masha Allah ...very touching advice for mother in law's,😭🤐
Barak Allah feek
Sending this link to my husband right now!👏🏾👏🏾
It's always good listening to your teaching. May Allah guide us all.
Amazing point ما شاء الله barakallah about oppressing everyone says one thing do sabr when zulm is happening.
SubhanAllah.. Allah ask us to be good and kind to the parents. And obey only to Allah
Alhamdulillah, an utmost important lecture specifically on ill-balanced condition of life after marriage, wherein it’s very difficult to measure by weight machine has been resolved by Mufti Menk in touch of Quranic verses. Words fail to express my satisfaction and happiness on his brilliant prescription on solution of this difficult topic of the societies. Let's help each other to resolve the matter, wama tawfiqi illah billah, amen.
How bad is for those wives whose husband are listening their sister-in-laws against their wives?
May Allah guide us all. Ameen
I wish in-laws could understand that daughters in law came to build. Sacrificed being with their families and opted to carry the new surname. Love and respect is all they need.
But men are filled with love for their parents alone.....they have no regards for their spouse....he should love both
May Allah guide us all
One lesson I have to teach my sons.
@Entertainment4ever women needs love...love her...n talk to her with love n affection....and I assure u....she would get ready to die for u
@Entertainment4ever in just shut up...u are evil...
@Entertainment4ever u are evil
Please don't marry any woman n spoil her life!
Your words appear that u love your stupid parents for raising you up with evil.thoughts! ..... now u will b angry with me for insulting your parents.....I give a damm to those men and to those in laws who are insane and evil !
I am so happy to listen to this cause this is exactly what I'm worried about gonna get married soon gonna live with my parents
Ma sha Allah (from Bangladesh )
Masha Allah. Like , Share and earn reward
I wish my husband would understand this.
He always says he don’t think his mother’s behaviour is bad or she didn’t mean it that way.
He always justifies her behaviour.
Worst pandemic ever and none of my inlaws contracted covid-19 virus. It’s been 8 months ffs. I must be the luckiest guy alive
Wish Allah would make my husband watch this
Mashallah mufti menk you are so right
Asalam o alikum , please pray for my marriage also , my motherinlaw is giving me alot of problems and she just wants to end our marriage .kindly pray for my successful marriage
It's really good listening...it's really touching that iam facing the harsh life😭😭
The mother of my ex husband broke my my family. My kids , my life..
I am so scared that this is happening to me. I truly respect my inlaws, tried to understand where they come from and understand their difficulties. So much has happened. And he stood up for me sometimes. Sometimes he didnt. Its okay, I respect that. I find it important that he thinks about what he himself finds important. That he stays true to his opinion, with guidance from Allah swt ofcourse. But I feel so sad because all what had happened. I feel hurt because of the words what is said about me. I tried to be as honest as I can be, with pure intentions. But still, my sincerity was questioned. Now, he stands for a important decision. I support him, but I have my boundaries. I hope Allah will guide us all. In Shaa Allah, please I ask You for guidance. To make it easier for us.
this is one of the many reasons why south asian men in particular always struggle to find a spouse - south asian men are the ones who are too close to their parents. learn how to cut the strings if you want a wife so bad.
Sadly, the south east Asian men stereotype of being a mamma's boy, is true.
Mashallah, Thanks for the advice, Your wife is lucky to have you mashallah.
Im watching this video in pain.. because of my dear mother in law's mental torture and harrassment for these many years from the day of marriage , i started getting heart problems ... now im in deep depression .. as im taking care of my kids alone and my husband lives abroad... she , her husband , her son in law and her 3 daughters together have made my life hell.. my only hope is Allah... i lost patience.. i wish Allah takes me and my kids from this world.. i had enough... i need peace..
Dear sister.. I came to understand your level of pain when you mentioned that you wanted Allah to take yours and your kids lives! Miss I have one suggestion for you.. slowly slowly start describing your husband everything that they do to trouble you.. let him not remain in peace in a job away from his wife and ignoring the wife's as well as children's rights.. tell him to return back.. don't fear about sustenance Allah will make new ways for that.. it's our fear rather than trust on Allah that is our enemy.. sister..Last but not the least after every prayer pray to Allah to release you from the chains of this in-laws.. that house is no more than a cage and those in-laws are nothing but chains especially those three sister in law's and the greatest of the great mother in law, all of them are choking you to death with an invisible pillow ... Lastly I would suggest just pray to Allah in sajda complain to him.. Allah made you get into this situation na so pray to him only for solutions.. believe me I became very powerful after marriage this way with the help of Allah ..no one can interfere in me and my husband's affairs not even his mother .. even if she tries she fails miserably .. so take your problm to Allah .. he gave you this life.. he will only give you ideas to deal with this..
@@konianfatima7025 thank u so much sister...ur words r really consoling ... il do it from today sister and i hope Allah will help me from these problems and restores peace in my life..
@@yakonoko4932 tonight is shub e baraat in my country and I'm doing amaal now Insha Allah I will pray for you dear
@@konianfatima7025 thank u sister... May Allah reward u jannah.. Ameen..
@@yakonoko4932 summa Ameen 😊🤗
Assalam o alaikum. Sometimes many mother in law play husband's role for their daughter in law . They mostly interfere in their lives .
Wa alaikum salam. May Allah guide us all.
May Allah punish them because they are cruel enough to make another female’s life a living hell.
@@roselion5313 🤣🤣🤣🤣...I feel your pain..I think is just better to seek Allah's protection from them....I say that all the time, ya Rabb, u can give this whole Dunya and everything that it contain to my in laws if u wish, so long as I am protected from whatever evil plot they might have against me am good...Just protect me from their harm whether small or big..My Marriage ya Rabb, my marriage protect it for me and I will do my part..So far my duas are being answered and I am so grateful...Knowing that Allah got my back, I just run to him instead of the man who took responsibility to protect me
Great and true words, independently of religious aspects.
You are one amazing speaker brother may Allah SWT bless you and your family with endless bounties Ameen! Yes some mother in law problems never go away even after almost 35 years of marriage the problems of day 1 exist because the husband hears only what he wants to hear leaving the wife hurt after insult upon injury upon insult repeatedly very sad but when bought up he ll simply say "when did I say that? Such n such never happened"it's unfortunate how many of us live with a hatred boiling inside us because the husbands don't want anything to do with standing up for the wife yes brother u are right we curse them every time they speak ill or humiliate us with a hatred that grows stronger every time sadly. We can only teach our sons not to be that way and to be respectful and helpful to their wives and take pride in that not be ashamed or make it a macho man matter
May Allah make it easier for sisters that are going through difficult times with there mother in laws. Ameen
@moboy m the ones we women are married to have already been bought up we are a different generation who keep to ourselves regarding our children
@moboy m may Allah SWT grant your mother maqam in jannatul firdous Ameen yes time passes and heals quickly too
And also number one comes for not giving enough time for the spouse and always being with mother (mammas boy) and serving and helping relatives
Jazak allaha kair, such a lovely topic ,
Thank you for watching
Please make a video, what a woman should do, who is facing the situation.
Insha Allah
Yes, I am kindly asking for the same ! Please help us with your teaching.🌸🙏🏽
My in laws are more cultural and my husband listens to them . He doesn’t stick up for me when his mother shouts at me and many other problems. I don’t want to live with them. I have the same routine everyday and I have bad depression :’(
Ur husband is a whimp
My mother inlaw sabotages my son perpously,feeds him unhealthy foods bags of candy and lies to me when I confront her she does this purposely because she knows I care do much about his health and wants a reaction out of me and plays victim when I get angry all I want is her to respect my parenting Allah please help me people please pray for me
After reading all the comments , i feel like everybody is dealing with a complicated motherinlaw , what i feel is , the only solution is try not to get into an argumnet , and whenever you sense that an argumnt is starting you should leave the conversation, Silence is better probably, You should also not lose your personality , you should try to get yourself busy with some work , some hobby or some job that keeps you happy , May be we can get peace that way. Because when someone gets us angry we say things that we don’t wanna say , May be talking less is also one of the solutions. I am trying to figure out the solution to this problem, Kindly pray for me also and don’t lose your self. I wish everybody gets a peacful and happy married life , everybody deserves peace of mind. Kindly Keep me in your prayers
Most often husband in the root of these issue. Mother in laws will be difficult but if their sons don’t have a backbone to maintain balance in a relationship, can you simply blame their moms? Obviously they will take advantage if they see that their sons can’t defend their wives!
True
Exactly
True!
💯
Youre very wrong. I am husband and wallah i fight my mother to protect my wife n family from her evil
But even that did not stop her evil. Infact this create more fights n she accuse me very badly like im not her son, she dont want to see my face, she would aaq me, she would say bad dua etc.
Then i had to be sorry and beg down !!
There is no way to tackle a woman against a woman exceot following the Prophet pbuh instruction of separating house. Allah knows this all, and Prophet pbuh instructed parents to separate house of child after marriage. Either this, or separate all the kitchen dependency. There is no way your kitchen is same. This the only solution.
Force your husbands for separate house, or die trying.
I suffered of living with my mother in law , nearly destroyed my marriage. Nö we are Not longer Part of the Family because husband Stand Up for me.
I knew all the time that IT was Not right to treat her Like a king
May Allah ease your difficulties
MashaAllah you're very lucky
How did you manage to make your husband stand for you?
@@candycrush1316
Arnestly i think that i had help from almighty ALLAH. Its my thinking , because the intensions of living with my mother in law were pure and it was my own dessicion and free will .
It almost destroyed my self .
Long time my husband was only on his mothers side , everything was in the end only about discussing the last fight.
It was when she turned His brothers against him because of me that he focused on Future and what he wanted.
Thats how i think it happened
@moboy m Maybe her husband stood up for her but didn't cut ties with his Mom...Probably still in contact with his mom just minimum and at a distance..
My mother in law and father in law are not the worst person I ever seen but they have a tendency to blame me for everything. For example , my daughter has Rett syndrome and she is 4 years and cannot speak properly. They I talk less and continued my college while I was pregnant with her cause this disorder in my daughter
MashALLAH SubhanALLAH
The muftis and sheiks of the sub continent need to speak up for the young ladies out there. A Young lady in a household is very vulnerable. The people in power need to stand up for them.
Thank you Mufti
Damn, all these videos and pst talk about mother and sisters-in-law. For me its also my father, brother, cousin, aunt and uncle in-laws. God save me.
I love this!!!
Masha Allah
Masha Allah
Haram to...
Imaan to...
Love & respect.
For sure In Sha allah
Its so heard. I try so much, gone through hell and no peace . Why Allah made me a wife, I have no right ,no place in Islam, no place in society. It so wrong. I came to this world to suffer. Nothing is enough
مَالِكِ يَوْمِ الدِّينِ.
Yes I also hate my in laws n my husband but I have to love with those heartless monsters for the sake of my children life. Right now what I really want is , a safe happy peace with the guidance of Allah to my children and end this dunya life . I want to fulfill all my responsibilities as a mother and this dunya life without even wasting a millisecond . Even in janah I dont won't marriage , I don't wont any partner to me , entering janah is itself enough . Seriously I don't wont to see thier face. He n his mother n sis is only a curse of my life😭😭😭😭
My husband mentions that he can get 10 wives but can get his parents . His mom will take him to jannah it seems. I m also waiting for the day of judgement where Allah itself deal with my divorce.
True talk
Shukran!
But the problem is, only the daughter in laws listening these kind of speeches. Not the mother in laws and husbands..
JazakAllah khair
Barak Allah feek
I don't have issues with my mother in law... But other ppl in family... Ya Allaah rahem
The husband needs to stand up to the mother and set boundaries.
My mother in law took my child away from me n he’s supporting it it really hurts 😭
Thanx for this video..
My marriage is breaking down because of my Mother in law and it was just 5 months of our marriage. My husband doesn’t support me. May Allah(swt) helps us to save our marriage. I am really not understanding what should i do nothing is working.
Alot of wife are lucky to their husband, and alot of ladies unlucky like me,my mother inlaw and her daughter oppress me,my husband he don't even protect me,he will be with them more and more, every day, every time I'm crying, I'm wishing my parents with me,but they're living to the other country 🤲🤲🤲
Just in case if people don’t know:
It is from one of the famous, well respected, renowned scholar, religiously women are not obligated to serve their parents in law, and men are obligated to provide them a separate place. I know it's good news for women, it is what it is.