Conversations in Autism - Talking It Over

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  • Опубліковано 10 січ 2025

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  • @fadelessdreamer
    @fadelessdreamer 3 роки тому +2

    I'm autistic and 31 years old. For me knowing ahead of time helps me, and having some basic information about what that entails. When I get closer to an event I keep telling myself it's fine, I can do it, etc. And I do. It can help if we visually *see* something being done rather than someone trying to explain it. Or explaining as you do whatever it is at the time. Step by step.
    In my experience with autism, you don't feel like you have much control over things so what your son is saying in my opinion is; he had a meltdown because he wasn't in control (yes he didn't understand the whole picture), but being in control via driving the boat, he made sure what he *thought* was going to happen did not happen - as he was in control. That's why he was so calm while he was driving the boat.
    You are so good with him and I really appreciate seeing a patient parent. Not all parents are.

    • @jcyoungquist
      @jcyoungquist  3 роки тому

      I try. I often times don't get it right, but I try. As I've gotten better, so has Max. It's pretty wild to see.

  • @jhonlouiebalatbat7272
    @jhonlouiebalatbat7272 3 роки тому +39

    I really love when Max is talking to you guys. He's giving you his full attention and I think it's really precious. And I love that he's expressing his affection freely. More power to your channel! ❤

  • @johnmarston2667
    @johnmarston2667 3 роки тому +3

    Max is overcoming his actions very well. And God is with him at all times and your wonderful parents to max. It is very good to give his feelings to you. It is a very good bond from father to son. God bless you and Max.

  • @bronzor1718
    @bronzor1718 3 роки тому +14

    I’ve said this before and I’ll continue to say it but you are an incredible parent. This is an absolute masterclass in communicative skills. I love how open you are to talking through your reasoning with max and his receptiveness shows that he knows and understands what is going on. It is absolutely brilliant, and I applaud your patience and clarity, as it’s truly admirable.

    • @jcyoungquist
      @jcyoungquist  3 роки тому +1

      Thank you, Brendan. You don't know how much your feedback means to me/us. I've copied my reply from another comment below.
      Wow, thank you. I have to be honest. I'm just doing what was modeled for me. I have a really good dad. He loves my mom, and treated us kids so well. I learned most of it from him.
      But on the flip side, I've had to dig really, really deep to be a good dad to Max. I sucked at it during his early years. I didn't know what to do. And I failed. I suffered from really deep depression and with zero patience for Max's challenges, I lost my temper on multiple occasions (without doing anything stupid). It wasn't until I started a strict regimen of exercise, mental fitness, and spiritual wellness stuff that I became who I am. And knowing where I came from and not wanting to ever go back, I still practice the strict regimen today.
      I always tell me friends... I don't work out, do ice baths and sauna sessions, and strict quiet time for me. I do it for my family.

  • @shadowrealmjimbo7024
    @shadowrealmjimbo7024 3 роки тому +3

    "I love you man"
    "Me too"
    🤧

  • @dannestrom
    @dannestrom 3 роки тому +6

    Another great talk between you and Max. I'm sad to hear that he had another meltdown, but I am sure that they will be more and more infrequent and less severe, because you've worked so hard to really understand him. Communication is so important, and we all have a need to feel understood. Congrats to Max for the boater safety card!

  • @PeterGregg
    @PeterGregg 3 роки тому +14

    OMG - how much does Max weigh - cause that's how much gold you have, and then some!! What a bucket of love that boy is. And he hangs on your every word. You give him love, a compliment, or affirmation and his face lights up like a lamp. We LOVE YOU Max!!! Thumbs up 👍 and 5 thumbs up for MAX 👍👍👍👍👍

    • @jcyoungquist
      @jcyoungquist  3 роки тому +2

      Peter, I get teary eyed when I read comments like this. Thank you for the encouragement and the ongoing engagement with us!

    • @PeterGregg
      @PeterGregg 3 роки тому

      @@jcyoungquist truthfully Max and others are treasures, but it takes golden hands to handle gold. So I do feel love towards Max, but his life could have been a sad thing if it wasn't for you! Okay, I have 2 things to get across - first, this is a video for Max to watch for enjoyment (it's totally clean and G rated): ua-cam.com/video/DTvS9lvRxZ8/v-deo.html
      Second, this video is it only 1 day and it already has 8 million views. As both of us are youtubers that is something that attracts my eye lol. But the man that made that video has an autistic son, I think he is 12 years old. Look for that gentleman's video (16 million views) "the truth about my son". It is quite a touching video. Tell Max that Peter is one of the people who likes to see him in UA-cam videos and I thought he would find that video fun PLUS I think that Max is a very fun guy!!! Thanks for listening :)

  • @humanrel
    @humanrel 3 роки тому +2

    It's great that you are so understanding with your child. It's great to watch. This is how parenting should look like.

  • @joannbirdsong583
    @joannbirdsong583 3 роки тому +5

    I totally get it. Fear and anxiety take over and reality goes out the window. And don’t anybody get excited over hearing the F word. It’s all part of the fight or flight response. Max was driving the boat with total confidence because you, the awesome dad, were willing to take the time to bring Max back to where he needed to be. And you are an awesome kid, Max.

  • @johnqpublic2013
    @johnqpublic2013 3 роки тому +9

    I find these videos are more about a father/son relationship, and the right way of raising children... the autism is just a small part of the conversation. The bonding between both of you is just astounding. Both of you are an inspiration to me. Thank you for bringing me along in this adventure called life.

    • @jcyoungquist
      @jcyoungquist  3 роки тому +3

      Wow, thank you. I have to be honest. I'm just doing what was modeled for me. I have a really good dad. He loves my mom, and treated us kids so well. I learned most of it from him.
      But on the flip side, I've had to dig really, really deep to be a good dad to Max. I sucked at it during his early years. I didn't know what to do. And I failed. I suffered from really deep depression and with zero patience for Max's challenges, I lost my temper on multiple occasions (without doing anything stupid). It wasn't until I started a strict regimen of exercise, mental fitness, and spiritual wellness stuff that I became who I am. And knowing where I came from and not wanting to ever go back, I still practice the strict regimen today.
      I always tell me friends... I don't work out, do ice baths and sauna sessions, and strict quiet time for me. I do it for my family.

  • @madamadam9508
    @madamadam9508 3 роки тому +9

    That was great. This channel will hit more than million subscribers soon, It is a matter of time nothing else. Thank you with all respect for the great content.

  • @melissaroscher1080
    @melissaroscher1080 3 роки тому +3

    Thanks for relational and talking it over with him and pushing his limits in a rational manner. I have Aspergers and so did my dad. He was difficult to live with, but he pushed me. He was and I am a Custodian.

  • @naturelover6111
    @naturelover6111 3 роки тому +2

    That's totally awesome! Way to go Max! Way to go on getting your boater's license, on driving the boat, and on overcoming anxiety that day! You're growing so fast! I have so much to learn from you people. Thank you for the videos!

  • @believeinjesus2677
    @believeinjesus2677 3 роки тому +11

    Bless you both

  • @Innocentdarkness72
    @Innocentdarkness72 3 роки тому +3

    Chad , Max have a good week, video has good weather over here it's rainy every day !!!

  • @ephvc9663
    @ephvc9663 3 роки тому +8

    GOD BLESS YOU. This is gods hand in here he picked this beautiful soul ,took this child and choosed to put him in this family in the care of such an amazing father. God must really love him. He picked one of the best men to be his dad. In this world of very few men capable of being a true loving, affectionate and caring parent. God bless your family.

    • @jcyoungquist
      @jcyoungquist  3 роки тому +2

      My dad called me with tears in his eyes asking if I had read this comment yet. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. And by the way, I learned most of it from my own dad. He loves my mom and treats us kids so well. I'm just doing what I saw growing up. God Bless You!

    • @ephvc9663
      @ephvc9663 3 роки тому

      @@jcyoungquist Well i spoke with my heart. I come from a loving and caring family of 8 ( yeah 6 kids). Im the older one. I have had 20 years of my mom and dad telling me on a daily basis that they love me and being affectionate. Thats the only way i know. Affectionate and caring family. I know that we are the rare ones tho. I would say that around 70% of my friends are not close with their families and even more when they are males. Most have years without a hug or even a pat from their dads. Thats what i like from this videos. A man that is a true dad most of men are nothing more than sperm donors. You can feel the affection and love from this man. Now i have another example of what a true father is apart of my own dad. I just hope one day in a few years god blesses me with the privilege and honor of being a father. God bless you. 🙏🙏🙏.

  • @isalean
    @isalean 3 роки тому +2

    "But I said sorry to Jesus for sure".....................LOL Max you are the coolest little dude! My grandson is your age, I wish you guys could be friends!

  • @BarrieBM
    @BarrieBM 3 роки тому +1

    Your kid already seems smarter then most adults veyr good parenting right there not putting him down in any way but the opposite understanding him and trying ways to solve it together this is amazing!

  • @susanwilson2297
    @susanwilson2297 3 роки тому +1

    I just tear up watching your beautiful, fantastic videos .... just sooo beautiful. Blessings🙏😊

  • @gigi2643
    @gigi2643 3 роки тому +1

    Wow Max is skilled! Hehehe... I'm subscribing! So fun to learn!... 😳🥰🤗

  • @stanislavglushakov990
    @stanislavglushakov990 3 роки тому +4

    Max you have a very cool and good father, be proud of him.

  • @craigkorthase5449
    @craigkorthase5449 3 роки тому

    Chad, you and Jamie continue to amaze us with your insights, courage and devotion to God and your family, especially Max. He is a gift that most people would not recognize as you have. Thank you for sharing your family with all of us. You are an inspirations to so many. Keep up the good work.

  • @andrewmorton395
    @andrewmorton395 3 роки тому +13

    I am glad he over, coming with is anxiety, its not easy with is Autistics, its very common, i think, the speed thing, is OCD

  • @lanatan5111
    @lanatan5111 3 роки тому +6

    You’re such a sweet boy max ☺️

  • @nathanjw940
    @nathanjw940 3 роки тому +3

    I can tell you it's a running joke about me driving like a grandpa I hate speed so I understand how you feel Max. For me if it's cold and I won't do much. Going fast to the point you don't feel safe.

  • @iindiar
    @iindiar 3 роки тому +2

    I think the issue is not having control. It can be very anxiety provoking. Aspies like order and control....it lowers the anxiety.

    • @jcyoungquist
      @jcyoungquist  3 роки тому

      Thank you. Sounds like a great future conversation with Max. Thanks for the tip.

  • @dmacdinfl3
    @dmacdinfl3 3 роки тому +1

    You are so good with your son. My son is EXACTLY the same as your son. It is a daily learning curve. I'm actually learning from you and your son. Thank you!

    • @jcyoungquist
      @jcyoungquist  3 роки тому

      Love it! How old is your son?

    • @dmacdinfl3
      @dmacdinfl3 3 роки тому

      @@jcyoungquist he is 11. It just takes sooo much patience.

    • @dmacdinfl3
      @dmacdinfl3 3 роки тому

      @@jcyoungquist He just has the same MAJOR meltdowns and crying. Thankfully, like your son my boy is close to Jesus and uses prayer as 1 tool in his emotional toolbox.

  • @susanredman5370
    @susanredman5370 3 роки тому +1

    I have atusim and Anxiety sensory and all of the things with atusim

  • @Arkalius80
    @Arkalius80 3 роки тому +3

    It's interesting how there are just very specific things that Max focusses on that engender such intense anxiety. Chair lifts stopping, too much wind while boating, going to fast on the water... all things that it might be reasonable to have some concern over, but his brain is just wired to see them as the absolute worst thing ever. That seems to be a common thread in ASD-- anxiety over specific perceived threats. I wonder how that works... It does seem like he is able to find solace in activities which require focus and where screwing up can have real consequences: skiing, running an excavator, driving a boat.
    I've heard from other autistic parents that when it comes to blow ups, most of the time there's little you can do beyond ride them out, and trying to punish for them is rarely if ever effective. It's good that Max can acknowledge that it might have gone better if he just had a conversation about his concerns instead of freaking out.
    I love that he was willing to admit his swearing during his blow up and that he felt bad about it. It's good when a person can acknowledge their own mistakes and own them.

    • @jcyoungquist
      @jcyoungquist  3 роки тому

      I have to be honest and say that I learned a lot about my own past faults on this one. Trying to force Max to stop freaking out is almost impossible. Me letting him cry it out and be done was totally new and totally unscripted. AND IT WORKED! My immediate thought was, "DANG IT! This information would have been great to know a decade ago!" 😂😂😂

    • @Arkalius80
      @Arkalius80 3 роки тому

      @@jcyoungquist Hard to blame you... people liken autistic meltdowns to childish tantrums, and while they present similarly they are not at all the same thing. Of course as a parent you'd be compelled to discourage tantrum-like behavior.
      I have to imagine being a parent of an autistic child really piles on the stress a level beyond what normal parenting offers... but at some level there is something extra rewarding about it when you see their successes and triumphs.

  • @ronpollitt1070
    @ronpollitt1070 3 роки тому +4

    o max your a love how you said sorry to god

  • @wildbill23c
    @wildbill23c 3 роки тому +3

    So since Max drove the boat this past weekend, will he be able to drive a car in the future?
    Max is such an awesome kid, he is comfortable talking about what's going on and why. Another great example of talking things through and overcoming the anxiety and fear and having fun in the end.
    Do you think Max would really have had the reaction he did if you would have just answered his questions initially instead of kind of ignoring him in the beginning? Max, what do you think would have been the result if your dad would have answered you in the beginning rather than just going out and getting the boat ready?

    • @joannbirdsong583
      @joannbirdsong583 3 роки тому +3

      Max’s dad will be able to answer this better than I can, but having a grandchild with similar issues, trying to handle the situation before the child is calm again, just escalates it to higher levels. You can’t reason with anyone when they are in the middle of an “episode.” I don’t know if that’s the right word to use.

    • @jcyoungquist
      @jcyoungquist  3 роки тому +1

      I DO think Max will drive a car. I didn't used to think so, but I'm more confident now than ever. I've been so impressed as he's gotten older at how much more capable he is becoming.
      On not engaging with Max when he starts with the questions... I can see the blowups coming a mile away. I say with 100% certainty that if I had said, "Dude, you're definitely going out in the boat in two days," he would have done the same blowup, but then carried it for the next couple days until we left. That's why I had to spring it on him. I knew he would have a big explosion, then settle down and enjoy it. And he did. He had a really good time.

    • @wildbill23c
      @wildbill23c 3 роки тому

      @@jcyoungquist Driving should be interesting, he drove the boat fine I assume, but less of an issue out on the water than having to deal with other drivers on the road LOL.
      I can see how things would have went if you would have told him he was going boating LOL, but many kids are like that when they don't want to do something too, they throw a fit, etc. then once they get out there doing it they're fine LOL. Nowhere near as bad as the autistic stuff for sure, but its like alright kid give it a try first before you get upset LOL.

  • @yolooo5081
    @yolooo5081 3 роки тому +1

    I feel guilty sometimes. I feel like I killed the child in me. I see myself like Max. I had deep anger issue. Well earned to be honest. Suffered through a lot of traumas and abuses as old as age 4. So was my mom too. She was a victim of the domestic abuse also but she was a parent. And I think she didn't have much patience with me. I remember having outburst. But she would hit me and tell me to calm down. And telling a kid to calm down in a loud voice, doesn't really work to be honest. I didn't really have a proper father figure. If some day, I am blessed to be a parent. I hope my traumas don't define me and that I could be as good as you. Wish you both the best. Kinda funny, that hearing your convo reminded me of my first therapist session in the military. Yay for free healthcare.

    • @jcyoungquist
      @jcyoungquist  3 роки тому

      I hope you DO get to be a father. Just the fact that you took the time to comment means you care. Blessings!

  • @eriktimothyyoungbergharrin945
    @eriktimothyyoungbergharrin945 3 роки тому

    Thanks I enjoy these so much you both are so luck to have each other

  • @Gameboy-zc8tz
    @Gameboy-zc8tz 3 роки тому +1

    He is so cute I have autism 2 he's less fearless than me you have me as a subscriber

  • @rbrtpongo
    @rbrtpongo 3 роки тому +2

    dude you and your family should come to new mexico we could use your guys help

  • @tekasifeverpan5849
    @tekasifeverpan5849 3 роки тому +6

    💙💙💙

  • @TJ-hd5ym
    @TJ-hd5ym 3 роки тому +1

    Max trust your dad or your family they will never tell you do something that will hurt you

  • @BK-rw6uw
    @BK-rw6uw 3 роки тому +1

    He reminds me of my little brother he’s autistic but non verbal i see my brother in him

  • @-eatglasswithafrk-4764
    @-eatglasswithafrk-4764 3 роки тому +1

    Im autistic and im very scared of the ocean, but my parents bring me every year. I can play in the water for a little but it always ends up bad. last year when we went to the beach it was really fun until i saw a school of fish swim under me, my brain immediately thought 'shark!' so i paniced, i couldnt see anything but the shore and the waves where getting worse and i thought i was gonna die if im being honest. clearly i survived but we are going to the beach again this summer to go fishing.. and im super scared like i know im gonna be curled up on the boat with my eyes closed.
    and im only scared of the ocean, i love kyaking in at the lake but the ocean scares me.

    • @jcyoungquist
      @jcyoungquist  3 роки тому

      Blessings from the Youngquist family!

  • @ritasue6866
    @ritasue6866 3 роки тому +1

    You are a awesome dad

    • @jcyoungquist
      @jcyoungquist  3 роки тому

      I appreciate the kind words. Thank you!

  • @thehapevillechannel
    @thehapevillechannel 3 роки тому

    What a lovely relationship.

  • @meistsyans6526
    @meistsyans6526 3 роки тому +2

    This guy's jaw can cut paper

  • @happyemoji6553
    @happyemoji6553 3 роки тому +2

    He can be the next Elon Musk if he gets the support he needs for his strengths. Aspergers individuals are very intelligent and are capable of thinking outside the box.

  • @willywomble350
    @willywomble350 3 роки тому +1

    did max have ear defenders?

  • @mamamac316
    @mamamac316 3 роки тому +1

    ❣️❣️❣️❣️.

  • @kuroryudairyu4567
    @kuroryudairyu4567 3 роки тому +1

    💜💪🙏♥️

  • @olxvi464
    @olxvi464 3 роки тому

    How old is max? If you don't want to say that's completely fine! I'm just curious on how his autism is like at his age, because he seems to have come on so much more! AND he seems to have quite a bit more control:)

    • @jcyoungquist
      @jcyoungquist  3 роки тому +1

      He is 13 in this video.

    • @olxvi464
      @olxvi464 3 роки тому

      @@jcyoungquist oh ty! I started watching a year ago, but watched all your videos. He has come far! And definetly progressed! He is basically the same as any 13 year old which is amazing!! Your parenting is very good and so is his intake on the world.

  • @Karen-kh8fg
    @Karen-kh8fg 3 роки тому +1

    Bad=Dad

  • @llkv7087
    @llkv7087 3 роки тому

    He honestly doesn’t seem autistic

  • @ameer2393
    @ameer2393 3 роки тому

    do you have fri v bak