Beat OCD Tip #8: Be unreasonable.
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- Опубліковано 17 вер 2024
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Sorry you're struggling with this right now. I found it really helpful to not discriminate between real or unreal thoughts. That's what leads to the problem you're experiencing right now. Try to see your thoughts as separate from you. They're like clouds. Just let them all pass. I found it very effective to see all of my thoughts as part of the OCD and instead just focus on living according to my values. My brain can think whatever it wants, it has nothing to do with me.
@@suriyasuriya-bz9ev yesss
Yes but it feels impossible
@@kateemma2183 It's ok to have feelings like that. Doesn't change that it is very possible
I really appreciate what you’ve said and thank you
This made me cry seriously, I've been trying to get rid of intrusive thoughts and resolving my uncertainty for some time now and my compulsion is to keep searching for reasons and answers so that I know that it's "normal". But thank you Mark so so much I cannot thank you enough for telling us this, and now I just realized how important it is to keep living, do it for yourself and the ones who love and care for you no matter what stuff your brain throws at you. And for those out there please do the same, you live for a reason. And please stay strong along this journey.
I'm cutting out my compulsions for good, no matter how uncertainty or how much anxiety Im going to face.
You've got this! One thing that helped me a lot was to see the anxiety and uncertainty as something coming from a little kid I was babysitting. When that kid gets scared and starts yelling and asking questions, I don't have to get caught up in answering the kids questions or doing compulsions because he wants me to do them. I can smile at him, hold his hand, and help him take a step forward. I know he's scared and I don't have to make him shut up or not be scared. It's ok for him to be scared while we keep walking.
Enjoy the steps!
Did your ocd stop?
Same here
Hi Nicole, i have come to realize that even if we feel good for whatever period of time, there will be a moment where your OCD will randomly sneak up on you and attack you, and try desperately to get you to start thinking, it will scare you to go into conscious thinking! And this sucks because we have a horrible tendency to drain ourselves, even at the cost of our physical well-being, stress ourselves out, think ourselves to death, calculate nonsensical things that always feel like damned if you damned if you dont! And whether we do them or not doesn't matter, because it will flip on us and simply make it that much worse. I notice recently my heart or chest starts to hurt when i get a doubtful thought, or something that is trying to scare me or bug me, I have to give myself the extra push and release the thought, no matter how much uncertainty comes with it, we need to remember that even if check and somehow come to a conclusion and go back to peace, it just means the next time ur unconscious mind, and the parasyte(OCD) is going to throw something else at you sooner or later, its almost like u have a temporary vacation and u know sooner or later its gonna flare up again, this is really sad and i know it sucks! But it just means we have to be even stronger and take it to the next level, Mark's words really help, be UNREASONABLE, also I have watched some videos from John Glanville, he really breaks everything down, sometimes its overwhelming learning about something we go through, but people like Mark make it so much better by getting the information out there! Also please check out John Glanville, he certainly has helped me come a long way!!! If you ever need to talk I am here! Thanks!
George Bernard Shaw once said " The reasonable man adapts himself to the world, the unreasonable one PERSISTS in trying to adapt the world to himself, therefore all growth/progress depends on the unreasonable man" ...
Not refusing to give in to the anxiety doing compulsions and facing triggers are the ways we should PERSIST in trying to adapt the world to ourselves to attain freedom :).
Thanks for this video Mark!
I'm glad you found it useful!
This is really helping me become confident that I CAN and WILL beat OCD
Probably the best OCD video you've made, in my humble opinion.
Ya, you've made lots of really really good ones, but I think this one clicked the most
I love the pink elephant in the background, it's like major OCD explanation
"don't imagine a pink elephant" :)
your vedios helped me a lot overcoming my ocd... thanks a ton👍👍 more power to u... ☺
Geetanshu Sawai Thanks! I'm glad they helped.
Geetanshu Sawai , hi can I know more about ur OCD, I need a support
By far the best series on OCD I have seen. Brilliant
This sounds like over-thinking. Often with OCD, we get caught up in what we think we're supposed to feel. But trying to be certain about how you feel is like trying to be certain about whether you turned the stove off when you left the house. What worked for me wasn't caring more or less, it was focusing on the actions. So with relationships, I focus on the actions that will make it a healthy relationship for both of us. It doesn't matter what my brain thinks or how much it cares.
Thanks! I'm glad they're helping at those key moments. Keep pushing through this process--it takes time but the improvements build and build.
Mark, I really needed to hear this today. One of my favorite videos of yours. 'Those reasons are part of the illness' WOW! So true.
Yes as soon as heard it I was like omg 😅
Trying to get treatment "right" can definitely become a compulsion. That's great you've recognized it and are taking a more accepting approach to the uncertainty. When your brain asks if you forgot something, tell it you did! And then just keep on going and being healthy.
I've been watching your video for almost 2 years now and always wanted to say thank you for your great video. it changes me in so many areas of my life and still learning.
love your video and your genius brain♡
Thanks! I'm glad you've found them useful on this journey!
Thank you man, Ive been going absolitely insane lately, my hands look like snake skin and I just have been convinced im a terrible person. My OCD makes me too scared to take medicine but its time I change, I cant keep living like this and this video brought me to the realization its not going to get better, Im going to make it better. Thank you so much for this. I need to learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.
The amount of subscribers you have is an absolute travesty. I can honestly say you post some of the most useful content that I have come across on anxiety and depression on the whole of UA-cam. I frequently watch your videos and am inspired by the amount of insight and practical good sense you bring in identifying and battling thought distortions. Thank you so much, and l look forward to your content over the coming year!
I appreciate the support, Philip!
Incredible video. It's eye-opening and one of the best tips that I've ever heard. Thank you!
You're welcome!
@@everybodyhasabrain Thank you for your content! Keep on making!
This is probably one of your best videos, Mark. Thanks so much for being a clear voice on this struggle.
Thanks, I'm glad they're helping you progress through the wilderness!
Generally, I tell people if you feel you have to do something before you do something else, then that's going to give you problems. Just ask yourself: "Do I want to keep doing this?" It's very possible to get rid of a compulsion like that and especially if it's taking up your day, getting help to remove it is going to open up so much time in your life to do things you really want.
Thanks a lot for the support, Andrew! I'm really glad the videos have helped.
This video convinced me to watch more and start engaging with what I learned from CBT in the past.
I echo Christopher Brown's comment. These videos have been more helpful to me than many of the things I've read/been told and are conveyed in a relatable and useful manner.
I'm glad you're finding them useful!
That's great! Embrace the silliness!
Even after watching these videos I still feel like I have no hope,like I don't have the strength or will power to overcome OCD. Every time I try to fight it,it only becomes a bigger monster. And it comes back with a different obsession,don't know if that makes sense to you. Well I doubt you'll read this,but thanks for your videos.
It's totally normal to feel those things and even doubt whether I'll read your comment. The great thing is that it doesn't matter what your brain thinks, you can still do healthy things and move past OCD, whether you believe it or not. If you haven't already accessed help from a therapist experienced in helping people recover from OCD, then I'd definitely recommend that. They can help show you how to follow a plan instead of following a mood or random thoughts or feelings.
it's been about 22 days with my ocd I am in last stages of recovery and really guys telling ya all do what u want what makes u happy in life these compulsions are main target to hit and when u learn to do it u are over it if your minds tells u to avoid this make sure that u push yourself to go their and do it. i recommend to use ERP first when ur anxiety levels go down then start using ACT whenever though comes to u notice it and say "yeah it could have happened" then smile and let it go. i am telling it's not easy some days it will be like child's play and some days it will be like climbing a mountain but one day, one days u will be over it . just remember u are not ur thoughts and embrace having this shit in ur life cuz it means that u are a great thinker and second and most important ocd will change ur life completely u will get to know the value of each and every thing in ur life and before I had this illness believe me I was kind of a guy who never enjoyed small thing I did top in class I use to think "fuck it who cares" I had many things wrong with my lifestyle now I kinda enjoy present and now I don't think about future I work for my future and learned to learn from past not live in past best of luck guys a whole new life is waiting on ur doorstep 😁 wish me luck too and thanks mark Freeman u have helped a lot
Be unreasonably brave! Wow man! Best video I have ever seen about ocd, thanks mate! Thanks a lot!
Have being unreasonable!
Your videos are a blessing. Thank You
Great video. Your videos have helped my progress tremendously! God bless.
"Be unreasonably brave"❤
Enjoy that unreasonable practice!
Thank you so much. I can't explain how thankful I am that you have posted these videos. So incredibly helpful. You are a ray of sunshine and I could listen to you all day! You give me hope! God bless!:)
i wanted to thank you so much, again, for all these videos and the effort you put into making them!! they helped me tremendously over the past two years, now i am checking again because i want to give up smoking. i remembered that i forgot to be unreasonable. thank you again xoxo
I'm unreasonabely greatfull for your videos of tips over how to get over OCD! You have helped me so much!
Also the OCD mind is binary - it doesn't allow for contradictions, uncertainty etc. the things that are part of real life
You're welcome! I'll try to make more soon.
Mark, your videos are simply great. I wanted to thank you for the work you're putting into them, helping people afflicted with OCD towards recovery. It's a harsh and exhausting process, but your amazing pedagogical skills really are helpful. I personally listen to / watch your videos when I'm about to engage in any heavy OCD-related activity, and it's quite the boost towards quitting, especially this one, and the one with the unreal banana. Thanks again for your awesome videos.
You made my day. Thanks. Going to get out of bed.
Thank you Mark. You are a great advocate and educator for OCD struggles!
Thanks mark you are the best
This is the my favorite of the ocd advice I’ve ever heard.
Enjoy being unreasonable!
This is really true. I feel like killing the monster video helped me a lot however this is helping me when I have those moments where I eventually begin to rationalize when it comes hard at me when I feel like I’m doing those things I want to
You’ve seen me comment a lot the past year mark. Thanks to the info you have shared I’ve gotten to places in my life in the past 10 months that I have never been too (the wilderness). I’m so glad I have these videos to fall back on in my process of recovery, as I hit a bump in the road recently and had to remind myself of the disconnect between actions and our fart thought machine.
As always, much love mark. You are a point of hope and reason (no pun intended) for so many people including myself, unearthing the fallacy behind mental illness disorders and their labels.
Fitness not illness.
You really do have a way of explaining things that makes you think. Your videos almost always subvert expectations.
Put it in another way you can label all thoughts as garbage and dare to live free of thoughts!! Especially these which come with a negative emotion and screaming for attention, are the most useless and destructive, no matter how important the ego tells you they are.
You're my saving grace. Seriously
Thanks! :)
I can’t thank u enough, Mark!
You're welcome!
You're welcome!
Amazing vid man! Thank you for these awesome words and lessons!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You're welcome!
Mark i thank you from the bottom of my heart u helped me soo much im on my way to recover
Greetings from Germany
Enjoy the steps ahead!
It's magical that this video was posted 8 years ago and I watched it this morning... and it made my morning so much better.
Wonderful thoughts! Thank you. ❤️
You're welcome!
Thank You a lot!
I just realized a thing and that is, that I use therapeutic advices and my knowledge about OCD as a compulsions too! I start parroting sentences in my head like: "I need to stay calm and trust myself, expose myself to anxiety and then move on freely to another behaviour." If I don't do that, another obsession come by, which say: "What if you forgot something of your therapeutic program? Check your program again in specific order!" So now I am working on eliminating this ritual.
Thanks, Charlie! That's great to hear you're pushing through those plastic walls!
That hope and strength came from inside of you! I hope this week is a better one!
Thank you Mark. I do not always comment (although I should) but all of your videos always strike a chord with me and have helped me greatly with my disorder. I have contacted you in the past to thank you for making such informative and at the same time understanding from the inside out about the disorder and related anxieties.
I hope that 'we' can continue to support you in supporting us.
It doesn't matter when the reasons happen. The path out of OCD doesn't come through reasoning, it comes through action. Reasons will only feed the OCD and OCD tends to be a much better debater.
Thank you so much! Great advice as always,can't wait to hear more! :)
All your videos are great for health anxiety, you are some kinda genius at simplifying things.
The only way to win the game is to not play. It’s like jumanji
Exactly!
"If thinking could get you out of this cage, you'd already be free." What a strong statement that is. Yes, not thinking about it (or dare not thinking about it) will gradually set us free, in any non-healthy thought patterns. The daring part was initially scary but overtime we will get used to it after seeing the safe and peaceful outcome, since it's only plastic brick wall, as you mentioned it in your book. Thanks Mark, your work is so wonderful for all of us.
Hey Mark, first off I want to say thank you and let you know that you gave me hope in the darkest days of my life and what you are doing has impacted so many lives and probably saved countless ones as well. I have been struggling with HOCD for about a year now and I need help with one of my obsessions. I am obsessed that I look too feminine and in turn that must mean I am homosexual if I look that feminine. It’s really hard to beat if you have to look at yourself in the mirror everyday.
I also have a bad habit of turning exposures into rituals, if you could help me out it would be awesome, thanks so much !
This is some of the most reasonable advice I’ve ever received 😂 thank you 🙏
Enjoy the reasonable unreasonableness!
Your awesome dude.your videos help out a lot. I appreciate you and your efforts. keep doing what your doing.
+J Melody Thanks! I'm glad they're helping :)
Sometimes I just come to watch this video to remind myself of it and keep myself optimistic and motivated.
Bro you a champion. Thanks.
Thanks!
I am very grateful for this video... 😭😭 Thnx.. 🙏.
I love you man, thanks for all the information you put out. I didn't know I had OCD, it's like a slow poison but now I know what's going on.
Love this video! I have millions of reasons!
Thanks, Caitlin! What's you're describing is very common. Something to keep in mind is that there's nothing wrong with anxiety. Problems arise when we react to it but anxiety is just a symptom, not a cause. So I wouldn't worry about the superficial differences btwn the anxieties. Look instead for the compulsions that are leading to these anxieties. If you can access a professional experienced with recovery from OCD, they'll be able to help you uncover and cut out those compulsions.
thank you, God bless you!
Great video. I feel like it's really applicable to things outside of OCD as well. I love that comment in the background too. I thought about that today, about how i always tell myself just one last compulsion, then i realize it's like an addiction, and if saying one last time was possible, i would have kicked several other unhealthy habits a long time ago.
I want to thank You for absolutely great videos your are making!
I have Pure-OCD mostly oriented about cancer and illnesses - like when I think badly about someone I love or myself, I need to go back and by mental compulsion neutralize these thoughts, so no danger would happen. I know it is crazy, but anxiety is always too strong.
I have exactly issue you just pointed out in this video. Every time I want to start therapy, I just need to go back and check, if this is the "right time".
I feel so related. Pushing back from a nasty awful false memory. I can see the way out, but i have to cross a lake full of cocodriles. The funny fact is that all these cocodriles are sparated by an invisible glass. They can't hurt you, but you get scared, and back away.
Thank u so much mark i know what your saying is the only thing i can do to get better and its not gonna be easy but im really going to try my best its so hard but got to be done guess i just have to trust who i am and live with the scary thoughts i pray it does work becasue its driving me crazy thanx again mark your a star xx
Wow best video ever on OCD..makes so much sense to me. I applaud you and thank you!
Thank you for the kind words!
We love you Mark!
Great!!! 💯💯💯💯
💯!
Accepting anxiety that's "too strong" is just like learning how to run a marathon--you have to start small and build up to longer distances. Although the illness/cancer-related issues cause you the most anxiety, there are likely other areas in your life that don't bother you as much but where you're still practicing unhealthy compulsions to control uncertainty and unwanted feelings. Start your recovery by eliminating those smaller compulsions and build up your abilities to tackle the big ones.
Goosebumps. This is the most important thing about OCD. Stupid brain :-)
For doing ERP with HOCD symptoms, I suggest figuring out why it is those symptoms bother you, and then practicing Acceptance with that. So you agree to two things: the thoughts your brain throws at you about not being attracted to guys, and then whatever you believe the consequences are of that, and then you just carry on acting according to your values and not reacting to the thoughts. If you brain sees you're not bothered by the thoughts, it'll eventually learn not to throw them at you.
Well said
Love it thoroughly, it helps me a lot 😊
Bro. That was like a sermon from God!! 👏
🙌
I found this to be very useful. Everytime I found some motivation to do the things I love instead of thinking and more thinking, my brain would always find ways to make me pay attention to my thoughts, to make me think about them, to make me keep them in my head, instead of doing the right thing by paying no attention to them and not think about them so that they can pop up less and less and get weaker and weaker. It's funny because, when I feel anxiety because I realize I haven't thought about my thoughts, my brain starts screaming "NO! YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO FEEL CALM! THINK MORE ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO!", while when I'm not that anxious whenever my thoughts pop up, it goes "NO! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO FEEL ANXIOUS! THINK ABOUT YOUR THOUGHTS MORE!", our brain is sneaky like that :)
+VideogameDemocracy This is really useful to recognize. Brains are very sneaky like that!
Thank you what a great video
Wow. I'm in the middle of a backslide right now. And this is really helpful.
Enjoy being unreasonable!
Glad I bumped into your videos Mark. Thank you for all the tips, I have hypochondria, health anxiety with ocd, I have a strong tendency to ruminate at the slightest minor symptom that would freak me out, so I keep reassuring myself I'm okay, are these compulsions?
I understand that we have to just ignore these thoughts and urges, know that it's not-self, and it's impermanent, but sometimes its just so strong it convinces me to give in, what should I do then? Continue practicing mindfulness and treat that as another object to be aware too?
The judging our internal experience and then ruminating and reassuring ourselves are common compulsions. Cutting out those compulsions is a big help and it can also help to look at beliefs and desires you might be holding onto that keep pushing you into them. I explain more in this video: ua-cam.com/video/VeynBEFcRd4/v-deo.html
Mark Freeman Thank you so much.
#Power of Questions
I listen to John Kabat Zinns 1 hour of pain relief meditation each morning.
And the most striking and most helpful of all the things he says is this question :
"Is your awareness of your pain in pain?" And you can transfer that to "Is your awareness of your anxiety anxious?" If you ask yourself that question your brain is likely to dissociate for a while from your anxiety and that feels enormously liberating.
Because you see you don't drown amidst fear.. no matter how intense it is. It'S experiential :)
Thank you what a great videos
You are brilliant x
So true..
No. This happens all of the time. If you talk to people who recover from OCD or addictions or any other compulsive behavioral issue, they'll probably all have stories about what you're describing. Health is just something you have to do and throw yourself into. Your brain is always going to try to think of reasons for one last ritual, one last drink, one last binge, one last hit, etc.
Very helpful!!
Thank you.
You're welcome!
needed this
Thanks this is some good advice. OCD is the hardest thing to cure because it's all mental it's like your brain against u n this helps
Thanks. Finding ways to use other peoples' brains instead of mine own definitely helped in recovering from OCD. When we struggle with OCD, our own brains try to sabotage the battle. It's great that you're bringing in other healthy resources to help you in getting to where you want to be.
@@everybodyhasabrain i don't get it😢😢what you mean , finding ways to use other people's brain instead of mine own definitely helped in recovering OCD.
@@miarosec.6514 Using values from somebody else. It's like using a recipe. We recognize that we don't know how to bake chocolate chip cookies so instead of trying to think of the way to do it, we can just borrow a recipe from somebody else to do the things we want to do, that they can already do well.
Hi mark, I have OCD and have been struggling with existential thoughts recently. I just want to live, be free, be happy, be King, laugh and smile and do good things. But I keep getting caught up on direct purpose. Should I just write out my values and live to them everyday? I get tempted to look at philosophers but always find doubt or a worse outcome from their words...
+Matthew Laycock When getting stuck on these things, I find it helps to just pick something and start taking steps forward. If you want to do good things, what is a good thing you want to do? There's a concept that comes up in recovery from substance abuse addiction that I think can be useful with OCD: Do The Next Right Thing. Rather than seeing everything as having these tremendous implications for our lives, when we're stuck or distressed, it can help to just make the next thing we do something that's aligned with our values. It helps me to take that step, do something that makes me happy and healthy, and then consider the next thing I can do that makes me happy and healthy.
+Mark Freeman that's very useful as have all your videos been in last few days. I feel I am really making strides with "hugging uncertainty" whenever it comes up as well as taking a wholly holistic approach to my anxiety. Thank you ever so much :)
That's great, Matthew! I'm glad they've been useful.
Hey Mark I just wanted to thank you a lot for making these videos! I've been recently re-watching and taking notes on all of them. I want to introduce them to my little 9 year old brother who has aspersers, and who I've noticed has been engaging in many compulsive behavior similar to what I did as a kid. I figured it's best to introduce him to this stuff before there is any chance of him being diagnosed later on in life. I just was wondering if you had a video that talked about how to plan out values and goals that you can follow or any tools similar to watch yourself grow to reach them? I sometimes have a hard time picking out what I feel vs what I should really do with all the things my brain throws at me sometimes.
Susie Velasquez When I'm working with clients, we do an exercise that involves mapping out on a piece of paper how you're spending your time and energy. Then we get another piece of paper and map out how they want to spend their time and energy in the future. The gap between the two helps to show you what you actually value and what you want to get rid of. But it's also important to consider that some values might be more important than others. For instance, I value not engaging in compulsions the most. So I might want to do something that seems like it's aligned with one value, but if I would have to engage in a compulsion, then I wouldn't do it. It's a process, too. Acting according to your values should help you move towards your goals in life. So if you're not moving towards your goals, either change the goals or change the values. Keep trying different things as you figure out where the path is and how to stay on it.
Any tips on how to get out of generalized anxiety thoughts/loops, where everything just feels "wrong". Right now I"m caught in a "everything sucks. Everything is bad. I dont' want to go to work tomorrow. I don't want to interact in "real" life. i want to do ALL of my behaviors and then some and get sucked in" at the same time I'm like "Nooooo" 'cause it actually wouldn't feel bad if there wasn't a part that doesn't want to...
Hi mark
So I once had a therapist that told me, to control ocd/ anxiety, every time I have a random intrusive thought I have to ask myself whether if this thought was logical or if it
was fear base.
Now I don’t know if this is correct or if it just plays in the ruminating, and thinking aspect.
Mark, for example this flare up I have had in the past 3 days after not having it for almost 3 months, is because I have fallen into thinking that "one day of thinking this thoughts won't make me any damage, I'll be fine by tomorrow" well I was very naive, because 3 days it had become a storm. Was like opening pandora's box.
Why is it that sometimes (like during this flare up) one needs a stronger urge to submit oneself into the thought? to start questioning once again if its true (the thought)
Im crying right now because the thoughts feel so real and i keep thinking what if ive done or said something i shouldnt i even question if my memories are reAl or not and i have trouble thinking am i going to question my every move for the rest of my life im so scared mark plz help mex
blew my mind! like, like damn idk what to say except u owe me a new brain lol