I feel better already. I made my goals for this afternoon as follows: 1) Just see if the cleanser I bought will get the oil off the driveway; 2) Take my dishes to the kitchen; 3) Make a cup of tea and breathe. I'm in first gear but my mood is improved and I'm realizing that my whole life, my brain has run faster than my body could go. So now I've checked off three accomplishments and mood is already better. :)
This was life changing. I really thought my downward spiral would only end in suicide or staying at home on disability. Now I'm setting small goals and achieving them and it's made a big difference
This content is extremely helpful .. I suffered with dysthymia ,anhedonia and occasional major depression since my early 20s and am now approaching 60. It has ruined my life although I have had many good times . This detailed guide to making changes is wonderful and it is so generous of you to help us to try and fight back . Have no doubt you're efforts are much appreciated as this disease is no fun for the sufferer or those around them. Thanks again Bill in UK
Hi Bill - I'm so pleased you are finding the videos helpful. It's so cool how these videos can go across the world and people in different countries can watch them. Thank you for your kind and encouraging words.
I liked the comments above. I’m only 28 and have this and it’s hard when I think how much I must work through as I get older, so it’s encouraging to hear these stories of older folks who are caring for themselves. Don’t give up any of us.💗
You are amazing! The man that gives hope back to people. I have been depressed for years and what you said here in this video has been the first sign of hope for me. I hope you wake up every morning knowing that you are really honestly helping and making people happy once again.. Thank you for your kind heart! 🙏
Good lord, this is so helpful. I’ve been doing it wrong. No wonder I’m so bloody depressed. My goals are things like, get in the gym by 7:30am and work HARD for 2 hours. Then write 3,000 words for college. I’ve been suicidal recently and I can barely sleep anymore. And I’m still pushing myself this way. My concentration has been poor for a while now that I’ve had to stop writing and ask for help. I was gonna take a year out to recover. Thank you for this video. It’s super helpful. I should know better as I’m training to become a counsellor.
Thank you. I'm watching this on my 52 nd birthday because I have lost all hope. This gives me hope that I may be ok and I feel less helpless. I'm so grateful I stumbled across your videos.
Hi Melanie, I'm glad you found the video and found it helpful. Welcome to the channel. I wish you all the best in your efforts to feel better and happy birthday 🎂
I'm really struggling right now and needed this reminder and the pointers were really helpful as well. I'm dealing with health issues and CPTSD at the moment and my depression is as bad as it gets. I really need to set very small goals and remind myself it doesn't matter what I could do what matters is what I am capable of now and that doing the smallest something is better than not doing anything at all. A couple of tools I've gotten that help me with this is writing down all the things I achieved at the end of the day, and I do mean everything brushing my hair, brushing my teeth, made toast for lunch. I was told this helps train the brain to see what we are doing rather than what we aren't. Breaking tasks down really helps, if I need to do the dishes for example okay what is step 1.scrape and rinse 2. fill the sink with warm soapy water ext. Everything is overwhelming when I'm depressed so not thinking of the task as a whole and rather as tiny individual tasks helps keep me in the moment and can even be a mindful or meditative practice. Finally one therapist I talked to mentioned when we are depressed we think we have lost the ability to feel good but that's not true we just aren't feeling as good as we used to so it's important to notice the fleeting moments where we did feel good, writing these things down can help as well. I felt happy when my cat came and laid with me in bed and I petted her soft fur, I seen a beautiful bird land in the tree outside my window, I put on makeup today even though it was hard and someone noticed. Again like listing things you did literally anything that sparked the slightest bit of contentment, satisfaction, joy even if it was fleeting. It just makes you realize those "good" feelings are still in there they're just muffled and because we focus so much on the negative when depressed it can spark some hopefulness to take a moment to savoir these moments of contentment and I find I start to notice them more when I'm looking for them. Anything to get out of my own head a bit and focus on the present world around me rather than ruminating on the past or worrying about the future. Anyway thank you for the video sorry my comment is so long.
Hi Laura. I read your comment. I too am trying, not as well as you though. I'm did do the dishes, exactly like your steps. Every little thing, seemed uninterested and difficult. I tried writing things down... only lasted 2 days... I try to just force myself out ... to walk, ... but I'm still able to ruminate on the mistakes that ruined my life , and gave me this Anxiety, insomnia and depression. .... do you have insomnia also? I just struggle living.. i don't see the beauty in life as I used to. I do have a cat. He lays by me and sleeps alot. I'm so jealous. I only sleep 1-2 hrs if I'm lucky. I go nights without. I don't know how to survive this. 🫶🙏😧
Wow. This is so helpful. 12 minutes and beyond felt like you were in my head. These are amazing, simple, actionable recommendations. Thank you so much for making this video!
Hi Craig - so pleased you found the video helpful. If you're interested in more videos about this type of stuff, I'd encourage you to check out the following playlist:. Understanding and Overcoming Depression: ua-cam.com/play/PLG_XiSJeP3s1xOWOVHDMBPWjZImyu8M8d.html
Thank you for a great video. I’m 62 years old and have been dealing with depression since I was a child. I wouldn’t wish depression, at least the kind that I’ve had most of my life, on the very worst person you can think of. It’s cruelty beyond measure. It feeds on itself. I have seen probably close to 100 counselors in my life and I have taken numerous drugs to overcome this issue. But for some reason, what do you say not only makes sense but hits the right cord. It makes me wonder if I’ve ever heard it before, because your advice seems to be basically common sense, profound and simple. Anyway, thank you again and at least for the short term it has been working pretty good for me. I think it will continue if I just do the simple steps.😊
Glad you found the video helpful. I've just started a series on depression management skills, so you may want to check out the first video that's now up on my channel. I wish you all the best in your efforts to feel better.
Thank you so much Dr, this video is really helpful. I figured out that actual reason behind my depression has always been my unrealistic expectations from myself.
Doing great jobb out here I have been suffering from depression from almost like 3-4 months and I accept and I got the solution why I was feeling depressed from this video and I am recovered after watching this video. Thank you
I have been in depression since the last 6 months and after watching your video, I realized that is what i was doing. I set my myself goals which were higher than what I could achieve in my present condition and it was making me more depressed. Now I know what to do and how to set myself smaller and realistic goals.
Your voice calms me down so much. You are right I am setting goals that are too high! I have to start lower the goals. I can't get everything done in one day. Thanks Phyllis,☺
This couldn't come at a better time, thank you! Could you please do a video to touch on assertiveness possibly on a realistic way to develop this skill?
@@DrRamiNader Hey doc, thank you for helping those of us without a voice... I may not feel any better but I feel tons more securely about goal setting thanks to you. That being said, I wanted to see if you can make a video on how to stop thinking existential thoughts on a universal level... humans understand basic necessities, basic human behavior, morals and standards but there's some of us that suffer from the reality bubble bursting i.e I often find doing basic things pointless because I often think about, what is the meaning of life... And I wanna be normal again 😔 I wanna but things I need without thinking "what's the point if an asteroid is poised to hit us in 2029?" 😅
So practical! So sane! Now I really have hope that I can reclaim my life. Thank you for your generosity in sharing these videos. At last, something I can actually do. And without drugs! And without having to talk to anyone!
Lying in bed at 2pm crying and feeling like a failure. I discovered your series of videos and a great deal clicked into place especially the cleaning the kitchen part and still feeling unaccomplished as my goal has no end line.
Seems simple, but it really is effective. Thank you. I can do relate to this! I’m the all or nothing when it comes to motivation and found the “nothing” came more and more. The depression grew and the harder I was on myself. My new goal is a daily walk or exercise, yes everyday but it can be 5 mins or more. Achievable but it’s the starting that is hard, once I reach that small go I continue and exceed each time.
as boy who is 19 and struggle with depression anhedonia and feelings to powerlessness and social anxiety partly due to height issues this surely helped me a lot .For me the goals would be walking half an hour 4 times a week and i recently recovered from fever hence will do intensive activities like running afterwards,i dont really have a friend in my colony have only few online friends and 1 good college friend.Also i plan to write just for 15 minutes a day to see if i enjoy the activity.Thanks for you video .
As queen of overthinking, I’ve been struggling with this for days. Got it as a first assignment w cbt-psychologist and got stuck right away. Now I finally get it - it’s not about setting goals for a beautiful life, but to just be able to measurable clear them! Lol, that’s easier :)
Glad you found the video helpful. I have a bunch of other videos that touch on this topic, so I hope you'll check them out. Take care and thanks for supporting the channel.
God, this guy's voice is so peaceful and relaxing. Thank you for this video, just what I was looking for, I definitely push myself too hard and set unrealistic goals and then beat myself up afterwards. From now on I'm going to follow this.
Hi Becky - glad you found the videos helpful and thank you for the kind words about my voice tone. Apparently some people hate it and some people love it, but it just is what I sounds like. Best of luck with your efforts to set realistic goals for yourself!
💛Thanks Dr. Nader. I recently learned about S.M.A.R.T. Goal planning. SMART is an acronym for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timely. I am currently working on writing out my goals and I will apply your tips to my SMART goals. For example, one of my goals is to declutter and organize my home. I will use your tip of applying 30 minutes or 1hour of decluttering so that I will feel like I am meeting my goal. If I do more then that's great. I think your tips were insightful. Thanks.
Dr. Nader I just found your channel as I have suffered from depression anxiety ptsd and the new word (Anhedonia) for a long time. I plan to listen more. This is an affordable alternative to paid "treatment". I am starting today writing some goals based on your suggestions.
@@DrRamiNader no sir! All thanks to you, I can't afford therapy. Getting up and out of the bed every morning and then choosing to live is such a struggle. Channels like these, they give me a reason at times a purpose that maybe...somebody out there really cares and who knows if I live I become that somebody for someone some day. Lot of Love from India. ❤️
Thank you. This should put a lot of lifestyle coaches out of business. I like your approach one small achievable goal at a time, the goal is success, however small the accomplishment is.
I set small goals for myself. I succeed in carrying them out, but my depression still persists. I do find your content to be helpful, though. Thanks for doing what you do!
Thank you so much. I have severe anxiety and depression. I lack ALL motivation to do anything; showering, tidying the house, exercise, everything. Thank you for saying people know what they should be doing, but it's hard to find the motivation to do it. I see the dishes stacked up in the sink and just get so overwhelmed by it all. I then get into a panic attack about it, and then don't do it 🤦🏻♀️
Thanks! This was helpful I set some morning and evening goals! With my major depression sometimes I feel like I can't move on with my day unless the house is clean, so I'll either clean all morning and be late for work or I'll feel chaotic and wont want to do anything. I think setting time limits will help me feel more in control and productive at the sametime. It's been on my mind that I need to set a time limit when it comes to cleaning. Like, right now I'm in a dark hole. House needs cleaning but I just want to lay in bed and sleep off my depression. But it feels better knowing I can set a timer and be done in 30 mins if I want. I'll know I got something done and the 30 mins timer means it's time to move on. 🌄 MORNING -Take my meds -Brush my teeth -Do a 20 min exercise (3 times a week) 🌃 NIGHT -Brush my teeth -Clean house for 30 mins -Bed before 9pm
I use this technique to help me with my depression. I try to write down a few things I need to do, or want to do each day. I get joy when I mark off the tasks that I've completed.
Thank you for your huge compassion and generosity. I have always pushed myself too hard and swung between highs and lows. Your message is so freeing. Thank you so much. 🥰
You are so new to me, different from other dr's. I appreciate it. It is very effective. I like that you feel deppressed people this much and you know how to talk to them. The way you talk and smile and the way you make it easier for them. That is so precious. I subscribe you and I will always listen to you. Because I think I found my Dr.
2 things: 1. Good mnemonic for me to remember the 4 criteria to setting achievable goals is SAFE: Specific, Action (not feeling), Finish (clear what means I finished the goal), Expectation of accomplishing it = 95% 2. My problem with this is that when I reduce the goal to a point where I feel 95% sure I will accomplish it, the goal is so minute that it really doesn't make a dent in what needs to get done and so I still wind up feeling bad. For example, if my house is not being cleaned regularly by me and I set my goal to clean for 15 minutes every day, let me tell you, the house is still really bad and it just makes me feel that I will never be able to cope. So, do you think this could work for me (It is not just cleaning that this applies to for me. )
In the early stages of goal setting, the key isn't what is being accomplished, but rather that the person is succeeding at doing something. The focus early on is success, rather than the size of the goal. Over time, the goals will get bigger, but if all a person can do is small goals, that's where to start.
@@DrRamiNader Thanks for the response. So, as I understand this, I am recording successes by setting minimal goals that will assure me success and the idea is that getting these successes under my belt will eventually make me feel capable of succeeding at greater goals and therefore wanting to work on them???
Thank you so much I just discovered your channel today So helpful I beat myself up mentally on a daily basis for not achieving what I intended to do. But tomorrows a new day new start and will be definitely attempting to put your goal setting to work. ❤
Hi Karan - thank you for your kind words and I'm glad you found the video helpful. I have more videos on the topic of depression coming out, so I hope you will keep an eye out for those. Thanks for supporting the channel!
FINALLY found a professional that addresses working on life goals while working with the depression symptoms!😁 Too many channels ONLY discuss day to day survival, so I watch motivational channels BUT I felt discouraged when they kept talking about "keep grinding no matter what" and it wasn't realistic dealing with depression symptoms. So glad I found your channel keep up great work!😁
I do suffer from anhedonia as my happiness depends upon the happiness of my loved ones. Because of this it can draw me down to take pleasure in, once again, enjoying things I love to do when I feel they are in their own funk.
Doc...you might saved my life with your content and humanity. In my country (Chile), mental health is neglected and overpice, plus in our culture this kinda issues are not seeing with good eyes.
Hi Jaime - I am glad you have found the videos helpful. My goal with this channel was to try and disseminate this information as widely as possible, so that people around the world could potentially benefit from this information. I wish you all the best.
Hi Navya - thank you for your positive and encouraging comment. I am glad you found the video useful. I find that a large part of what I am trying to do is take psychological concepts and translate them into easily understandable forms. That's the intent at least, of these videos.
What if one is very depressed but is able to work & still get through the work in a good manner, plus take the dogs out religiously, because there's no one else around to do so & it's only right they must go out...they need it, plus feed them & oneself. I do the above because, needs must. BUT I all other aspects of life I suffer from a total lack of motivation, interest in previous enjoyments & have no satisfaction in life? Anhedonia. I'm going to now start & do more behaviour things, even though it feels like I don't want & can't be bothered. I know I'll get no joy & will be just going through the motions, but I believe (through your vlogs) that doing has to come first & the interest will come later. I'm willing to try anything. Thank you so much for your valued info. Why doesn't my Dr or clinician understand depression like you do? They just give out antidepressants & do very little listening.
You're very welcome. I'm going to be working on a comprehensive video series on depression management skills, so I hope you'll keep an eye for those as they come out in the next few months.
New subscriber here. This video really resonated with me. I especially appreciated the point that a goal should not be dependent on someone else’s actions. Thank you!
Good stuff. Similar to what we might call "the little way" of Terese of Liseux. Accept what's on your plate. Do what is doable. Don't pursue good feelings for their own sake. Thanks for the video. Good reminders to live intentionally rather than drifting along vaguely.
I guess in this video you talked about every problem that i have and i have never heard that someone else talks about these problems. Thank you so much. I am enlightened.
Hi Margi - I just saw that you gave me a Thank You donation! That is so very generous of you and much appreciated. I don't make these videos with the intent of earning any money from them, but I just see this channel as an opportunity to help as many people as possible, who may not have access to this type of info. Take care and thank you once again for supporting this channel!
I feel depressed for a few days but I am trying to come out of that by doing and accomplishing small things thank you Dr .. you are the best psychiatrist I have ever seen . By the way how can we increase serotonin in our body without pills
This is brilliant and so helpful! Set goals that are measurable and really clear. I like the example of cleaning the kitchen for ___ amount of time instead of just saying ‘I’m going to clean the krichen’ and looking back at what wasn’t done only to feel crappy about it and still in that black cloud. And making sure the goals are realistic is also important as you mentioned. I’ve experienced my mood lifting from setting realistic goals and you solidified why I’ve felt so much better doing so. Cheers
Thanks for the video, it was extremely informative and helpful. I really appreciate you giving examples of poor goal setting because that is something I do often and I was able to recognize myself in those examples. I struggle the most with setting up specific and realistic tasks. I think it's a good idea not to be afraid of changing your goals as you go along to make them better reflect the reality.
Thankyou Dr. Nadi. I am going to apply these principles. I want to make better money, so I am going to think of some realistic jobs I could do with my level of experience and education. Right now I just sell muffins at the store down the street, and I'm not so sure I like being in the kitchen at times. Breaking this down to baby steps is the main purpose as to maybe I can work on my attitude of cooking. I have a lot of people who hate cooking in my family, but I know I don't have to be the same way. Maybe my goal should be enjoying myself in the kitchen, right? I know some others that really enjoy cooking, so why let negative family members rub off on me. It's a skill I'm not too bad at considering it's hard to find the things I'm good at.
This reminds me of a SMART goals that businesses talk about in terms of employee growth goals. However, instead of focusing on making goals quantifiable by the business to tell if an employee is meeting them or not, this process is based around making sure that a person can actually succeed at them to get motivation for doing slightly more ambitious goals next time. I think that's way better than SMART goals. The goal of SMART goals involves other people; you're not doing the goal for yourself, you're doing it for someone else who could just decide you didn't do good enough and fire you even if you met the goal.
Hi Kevin - thank you for your insights. You are correct that this is very similar to SMART goals, but with some subtle differences that I think are more relevant to depression.
@@valjbonakajtazi4893 In answer to this, some days I do hit them , some days I don't. Today I did my exercises, wholefood all day , and worked 7 hours, since I wrote the last comment I did 3 months of wholefoods then I went off course for a while (not terrible but it wasn't wholefood) and some months went down to only exercising 3 times that whole month. I've managed to stick to the work atleast 2 hours a day goal, some days I admit are a struggle but I do it. I agree that I perhaps shouldn't have daily goals and instead weekly so my bad bad days don't make me feel horrid. Now my exercise is try for 3 week
@@bluejayjitsu4429 first you are doing ! Second you are doing your best ! Third you are not giving up and however it looks you are following as much as you can . Blue Thank you, hope soon I am back on my track . I never suffer of depression, I am struggling simply to set back my goals and work on them .
@@DrRamiNader Yes! I try to focus on one small task I need to do, and somehow in the doing, it brings me to the next thing. I remember reading in Aaron Beck's book on CBT that he had a severely depressed artist just make a line on a piece of drawing paper. Just a line, that was it. Anybody who has never been depressed may not appreciate how such a small thing is huge when one is severely depressed.
I feel better already. I made my goals for this afternoon as follows: 1) Just see if the cleanser I bought will get the oil off the driveway; 2) Take my dishes to the kitchen; 3) Make a cup of tea and breathe. I'm in first gear but my mood is improved and I'm realizing that my whole life, my brain has run faster than my body could go. So now I've checked off three accomplishments and mood is already better. :)
That's fantastic! Good work!
This was life changing. I really thought my downward spiral would only end in suicide or staying at home on disability. Now I'm setting small goals and achieving them and it's made a big difference
Really glad you found the video helpful. I wish you the best in your efforts to feel better.
Hi Pat, how you are you,I hope you are doing much better. All the best!
Nice Pat. Me too.
@@ligiailean1852 never been better. Finally got on medication and lifestyle changes that have made me a lot happier
I.m there right now 😢
Running was too big of a goal. But I managed to sit in the sun for about 10 minutes today.
That was a major accomplishment for me.
be realistic, do what you can, take baby steps, appreciate the slow process towards the bigger end goals. in a sense: chill
This content is extremely helpful .. I suffered with dysthymia ,anhedonia and occasional major depression since my early 20s and am now approaching 60. It has ruined my life although I have had many good times . This detailed guide to making changes is wonderful and it is so generous of you to help us to try and fight back . Have no doubt you're efforts are much appreciated as this disease is no fun for the sufferer or those around them.
Thanks again
Bill in UK
Hi Bill - I'm so pleased you are finding the videos helpful. It's so cool how these videos can go across the world and people in different countries can watch them. Thank you for your kind and encouraging words.
Oh Bill, you just wrote my life! I'm your age!
I liked the comments above. I’m only 28 and have this and it’s hard when I think how much I must work through as I get older, so it’s encouraging to hear these stories of older folks who are caring for themselves. Don’t give up any of us.💗
I can feel how depression can ruin entire life. Dr. Nader is definitely great. His ideas have given me hope as well. Thankyou Dr. Rami Nader
Thank you for your kind words.
You are amazing! The man that gives hope back to people. I have been depressed for years and what you said here in this video has been the first sign of hope for me. I hope you wake up every morning knowing that you are really honestly helping and making people happy once again.. Thank you for your kind heart! 🙏
Thank you for your very kind and encouraging words.
Good lord, this is so helpful. I’ve been doing it wrong. No wonder I’m so bloody depressed. My goals are things like, get in the gym by 7:30am and work HARD for 2 hours. Then write 3,000 words for college. I’ve been suicidal recently and I can barely sleep anymore. And I’m still pushing myself this way. My concentration has been poor for a while now that I’ve had to stop writing and ask for help. I was gonna take a year out to recover.
Thank you for this video. It’s super helpful. I should know better as I’m training to become a counsellor.
Hi Edward - glad you found the video helpful!
Rest as you need, more even, and then do those awesome goals, but it’s okay to take your time.
💯 agree.
@@ballerinablush5436 Thank you, Ballerina. I am doing so much better since I wrote that. I am happier than ever.
@@MrBungle900 That is wonderful, I am so glad.
Thank you. I'm watching this on my 52 nd birthday because I have lost all hope. This gives me hope that I may be ok and I feel less helpless. I'm so grateful I stumbled across your videos.
Hi Melanie, I'm glad you found the video and found it helpful. Welcome to the channel. I wish you all the best in your efforts to feel better and happy birthday 🎂
I hope you are at least a little bit better Melanie.😇
Good luck!
I'm really struggling right now and needed this reminder and the pointers were really helpful as well. I'm dealing with health issues and CPTSD at the moment and my depression is as bad as it gets. I really need to set very small goals and remind myself it doesn't matter what I could do what matters is what I am capable of now and that doing the smallest something is better than not doing anything at all. A couple of tools I've gotten that help me with this is writing down all the things I achieved at the end of the day, and I do mean everything brushing my hair, brushing my teeth, made toast for lunch. I was told this helps train the brain to see what we are doing rather than what we aren't.
Breaking tasks down really helps, if I need to do the dishes for example okay what is step 1.scrape and rinse 2. fill the sink with warm soapy water ext. Everything is overwhelming when I'm depressed so not thinking of the task as a whole and rather as tiny individual tasks helps keep me in the moment and can even be a mindful or meditative practice.
Finally one therapist I talked to mentioned when we are depressed we think we have lost the ability to feel good but that's not true we just aren't feeling as good as we used to so it's important to notice the fleeting moments where we did feel good, writing these things down can help as well. I felt happy when my cat came and laid with me in bed and I petted her soft fur, I seen a beautiful bird land in the tree outside my window, I put on makeup today even though it was hard and someone noticed. Again like listing things you did literally anything that sparked the slightest bit of contentment, satisfaction, joy even if it was fleeting. It just makes you realize those "good" feelings are still in there they're just muffled and because we focus so much on the negative when depressed it can spark some hopefulness to take a moment to savoir these moments of contentment and I find I start to notice them more when I'm looking for them. Anything to get out of my own head a bit and focus on the present world around me rather than ruminating on the past or worrying about the future.
Anyway thank you for the video sorry my comment is so long.
Thank you for sharing your experiences and insights. I wish you all the best in your efforts to feel better.
Hi Laura. I read your comment. I too am trying, not as well as you though.
I'm did do the dishes, exactly like your steps. Every little thing, seemed uninterested and difficult.
I tried writing things down... only lasted 2 days... I try to just force myself out
... to walk, ... but I'm still able to ruminate on the mistakes that ruined my life , and gave me this Anxiety, insomnia and depression.
.... do you have insomnia also?
I just struggle living.. i don't see the beauty in life as I used to.
I do have a cat. He lays by me and sleeps alot. I'm so jealous. I only sleep 1-2 hrs if I'm lucky. I go nights without. I don't know how to survive this. 🫶🙏😧
No words to describe how thankful I am of your videos. Been battling depression for so long. Thank you so much.
I'm glad you have found the videos helpful.
Wow. This is so helpful. 12 minutes and beyond felt like you were in my head. These are amazing, simple, actionable recommendations. Thank you so much for making this video!
Hi Craig - so pleased you found the video helpful. If you're interested in more videos about this type of stuff, I'd encourage you to check out the following playlist:. Understanding and Overcoming Depression: ua-cam.com/play/PLG_XiSJeP3s1xOWOVHDMBPWjZImyu8M8d.html
What your doing is really important please continue
I will. And thank you for your support.
Gonna try this.
Awesome! Let us know how it goes.
Thank you for a great video. I’m 62 years old and have been dealing with depression since I was a child. I wouldn’t wish depression, at least the kind that I’ve had most of my life, on the very worst person you can think of. It’s cruelty beyond measure. It feeds on itself. I have seen probably close to 100 counselors in my life and I have taken numerous drugs to overcome this issue. But for some reason, what do you say not only makes sense but hits the right cord. It makes me wonder if I’ve ever heard it before, because your advice seems to be basically common sense, profound and simple. Anyway, thank you again and at least for the short term it has been working pretty good for me. I think it will continue if I just do the simple steps.😊
Glad you found the video helpful. I've just started a series on depression management skills, so you may want to check out the first video that's now up on my channel. I wish you all the best in your efforts to feel better.
Thank you so much Dr, this video is really helpful.
I figured out that actual reason behind my depression has always been my unrealistic expectations from myself.
That's usually the case for a lot of people. Glad you found the video helpful!
Doing great jobb out here I have been suffering from depression from almost like 3-4 months and I accept and I got the solution why I was feeling depressed from this video and I am recovered after watching this video. Thank you
Glad you found the video helpful!
I have been in depression since the last 6 months and after watching your video, I realized that is what i was doing. I set my myself goals which were higher than what I could achieve in my present condition and it was making me more depressed. Now I know what to do and how to set myself smaller and realistic goals.
Glad you found it helpful. I wish you all the best in your efforts to feel better.
How are you feeling now?
Your voice calms me down so much. You are right I am setting goals that are too high! I have to start lower the goals. I can't get everything done in one day. Thanks Phyllis,☺
Hi Phyllis - you're welcome. I wish you the best in your efforts to feel better!
This couldn't come at a better time, thank you! Could you please do a video to touch on assertiveness possibly on a realistic way to develop this skill?
Glad you found the video helpful. Assertiveness is a topic I'm planning to do a few videos about, so please keep an eye out for that.
@@DrRamiNader Hey doc, thank you for helping those of us without a voice... I may not feel any better but I feel tons more securely about goal setting thanks to you.
That being said, I wanted to see if you can make a video on how to stop thinking existential thoughts on a universal level... humans understand basic necessities, basic human behavior, morals and standards but there's some of us that suffer from the reality bubble bursting i.e I often find doing basic things pointless because I often think about, what is the meaning of life... And I wanna be normal again 😔 I wanna but things I need without thinking "what's the point if an asteroid is poised to hit us in 2029?" 😅
Andrea, that's a very solid question 🙂
@@vaporwingfauxmcloud1190 I'll add that topic to my list of future videos. Thanks for your input!
So practical! So sane! Now I really have hope that I can reclaim my life. Thank you for your generosity in sharing these videos. At last, something I can actually do. And without drugs! And without having to talk to anyone!
Best of luck in your efforts to feel better!
Lying in bed at 2pm crying and feeling like a failure. I discovered your series of videos and a great deal clicked into place especially the cleaning the kitchen part and still feeling unaccomplished as my goal has no end line.
Hi Em - sorry to hear you are having a difficult time. I hope you can find some hope and guidance from the videos and that you feel better soon.
Seems simple, but it really is effective. Thank you. I can do relate to this! I’m the all or nothing when it comes to motivation and found the “nothing” came more and more. The depression grew and the harder I was on myself. My new goal is a daily walk or exercise, yes everyday but it can be 5 mins or more. Achievable but it’s the starting that is hard, once I reach that small go I continue and exceed each time.
Hi Vicki - glad you found the video helpful and I wish you all the best with your goal setting efforts.
as boy who is 19 and struggle with depression anhedonia and feelings to powerlessness and social anxiety partly due to height issues this surely helped me a lot .For me the goals would be walking half an hour 4 times a week and i recently recovered from fever hence will do intensive activities like running afterwards,i dont really have a friend in my colony have only few online friends and 1 good college friend.Also i plan to write just for 15 minutes a day to see if i enjoy the activity.Thanks for you video .
As queen of overthinking, I’ve been struggling with this for days. Got it as a first assignment w cbt-psychologist and got stuck right away. Now I finally get it - it’s not about setting goals for a beautiful life, but to just be able to measurable clear them! Lol, that’s easier :)
This has shifted my perception over my own idea of goals for myself. Game-changing (I hope!). Thanks a lot for this!
Glad you found the video helpful. I have a bunch of other videos that touch on this topic, so I hope you'll check them out. Take care and thanks for supporting the channel.
God, this guy's voice is so peaceful and relaxing. Thank you for this video, just what I was looking for, I definitely push myself too hard and set unrealistic goals and then beat myself up afterwards. From now on I'm going to follow this.
Hi Becky - glad you found the videos helpful and thank you for the kind words about my voice tone. Apparently some people hate it and some people love it, but it just is what I sounds like. Best of luck with your efforts to set realistic goals for yourself!
💛Thanks Dr. Nader. I recently learned about S.M.A.R.T. Goal planning. SMART is an acronym for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timely. I am currently working on writing out my goals and I will apply your tips to my SMART goals. For example, one of my goals is to declutter and organize my home. I will use your tip of applying 30 minutes or 1hour of decluttering so that I will feel like I am meeting my goal. If I do more then that's great.
I think your tips were insightful. Thanks.
Glad you found it helpful. Best of luck with your goal setting efforts!
Dr. Nader I just found your channel as I have suffered from depression anxiety ptsd and the new word (Anhedonia) for a long time. I plan to listen more. This is an affordable alternative to paid "treatment". I am starting today writing some goals based on your suggestions.
I am glad you found the channel and the videos. Hope they are of assistance and best of luck with your goals!
It makes so much sense doctor! I 'm going to try this approach this to help my depression and anxiety.thanksfor caring
Glad you found the video helpful! Thanks for supporting the channel.
I have just started listening to your videos and they already have encouraged me to set goals.
Hi Carol - that's great to hear! I'm glad you have found the videos helpful.
Best channel for depression ❤
Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad you have found the videos helpful!
@@DrRamiNader no sir! All thanks to you, I can't afford therapy. Getting up and out of the bed every morning and then choosing to live is such a struggle. Channels like these, they give me a reason at times a purpose that maybe...somebody out there really cares and who knows if I live I become that somebody for someone some day. Lot of Love from India. ❤️
Thank you.
This should put a lot of lifestyle coaches out of business.
I like your approach one small achievable goal at a time, the goal is success, however small the accomplishment is.
I set small goals for myself. I succeed in carrying them out, but my depression still persists. I do find your content to be helpful, though. Thanks for doing what you do!
Thank you so much. I have severe anxiety and depression. I lack ALL motivation to do anything; showering, tidying the house, exercise, everything.
Thank you for saying people know what they should be doing, but it's hard to find the motivation to do it.
I see the dishes stacked up in the sink and just get so overwhelmed by it all. I then get into a panic attack about it, and then don't do it 🤦🏻♀️
Glad you found the video helpful. I wish you all the best in your efforts to feel better!
Thank you for these insights. I want to set goal to exercise for 15 minutes for 3 days; Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
Thank you! I’ve been struggling with depression this past weekend and am finding your videos helpful ❤️
Hi Allie - I'm glad you have found the videos helpful and hope you feel better soon. Take care.
@@DrRamiNader 9 99percent and
Sorry but maybe "struggling"
is not a good word here.
Thanks! This was helpful
I set some morning and evening goals!
With my major depression sometimes I feel like I can't move on with my day unless the house is clean, so I'll either clean all morning and be late for work or I'll feel chaotic and wont want to do anything. I think setting time limits will help me feel more in control and productive at the sametime. It's been on my mind that I need to set a time limit when it comes to cleaning. Like, right now I'm in a dark hole. House needs cleaning but I just want to lay in bed and sleep off my depression.
But it feels better knowing I can set a timer and be done in 30 mins if I want. I'll know I got something done and the 30 mins timer means it's time to move on.
🌄 MORNING
-Take my meds
-Brush my teeth
-Do a 20 min exercise (3 times a week)
🌃 NIGHT
-Brush my teeth
-Clean house for 30 mins
-Bed before 9pm
Hi Carolina, thanks for sharing your experiences and approach. I wish you all the best in your efforts!
I use this technique to help me with my depression. I try to write down a few things I need to do, or want to do each day. I get joy when I mark off the tasks that I've completed.
Glad to hear this works for you!
Thank you for your huge compassion and generosity. I have always pushed myself too hard and swung between highs and lows. Your message is so freeing. Thank you so much. 🥰
Hi Margaret - you're very welcome. Glad you found the video helpful.
Clear precisely to the point. Thankyou Doctor.
You're very welcome Joe.
You are so new to me, different from other dr's. I appreciate it. It is very effective. I like that you feel deppressed people this much and you know how to talk to them. The way you talk and smile and the way you make it easier for them. That is so precious. I subscribe you and I will always listen to you. Because I think I found my Dr.
Hi Mandana - hello and welcome to the channel! Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad you have found the videos helpful.
I am rewatching this video. It continues to be very helpful. Thank you!
You're welcome! Glad you have found it helpful.
2 things:
1. Good mnemonic for me to remember the 4 criteria to setting achievable goals is SAFE: Specific, Action (not feeling), Finish (clear what means I finished the goal), Expectation of accomplishing it = 95%
2. My problem with this is that when I reduce the goal to a point where I feel 95% sure I will accomplish it, the goal is so minute that it really doesn't make a dent in what needs to get done and so I still wind up feeling bad. For example, if my house is not being cleaned regularly by me and I set my goal to clean for 15 minutes every day, let me tell you, the house is still really bad and it just makes me feel that I will never be able to cope. So, do you think this could work for me (It is not just cleaning that this applies to for me. )
In the early stages of goal setting, the key isn't what is being accomplished, but rather that the person is succeeding at doing something. The focus early on is success, rather than the size of the goal. Over time, the goals will get bigger, but if all a person can do is small goals, that's where to start.
@@DrRamiNader Thanks for the response. So, as I understand this, I am recording successes by setting minimal goals that will assure me success and the idea is that getting these successes under my belt will eventually make me feel capable of succeeding at greater goals and therefore wanting to work on them???
Exactly!
Thank you so much I just discovered your channel today
So helpful I beat myself up mentally on a daily basis for not achieving what I intended to do.
But tomorrows a new day new start and will be definitely attempting to put your goal setting to work. ❤
Hi Nicole - welcome to the channel! I'm glad you found me and hope you find the videos helpful.
Thank you so much for caring and helping, 🙏👍🇬🇧
Hi William, you are very welcome. Glad you found it helpful.
Thank you ..for sharing in depth techniques to overcome depression which most of the psychiatrist lack they just put on meds
Hi Karan - thank you for your kind words and I'm glad you found the video helpful. I have more videos on the topic of depression coming out, so I hope you will keep an eye out for those. Thanks for supporting the channel!
FINALLY found a professional that addresses working on life goals while working with the depression symptoms!😁 Too many channels ONLY discuss day to day survival, so I watch motivational channels BUT I felt discouraged when they kept talking about "keep grinding no matter what" and it wasn't realistic dealing with depression symptoms. So glad I found your channel keep up great work!😁
Glad you found it helpful!
I do suffer from anhedonia as my happiness depends upon the happiness of my loved ones. Because of this it can draw me down to take pleasure in, once again, enjoying things I love to do when I feel they are in their own funk.
This has come at the right time. Small steps count. Thank you a great way to start my day.
Glad you found the video helpful!
Doc...you might saved my life with your content and humanity. In my country (Chile), mental health is neglected and overpice, plus in our culture this kinda issues are not seeing with good eyes.
Hi Jaime - I am glad you have found the videos helpful. My goal with this channel was to try and disseminate this information as widely as possible, so that people around the world could potentially benefit from this information. I wish you all the best.
Very well explained. Such logical methods. Easy to adapt. Thankyou.
Hi Navya - thank you for your positive and encouraging comment. I am glad you found the video useful. I find that a large part of what I am trying to do is take psychological concepts and translate them into easily understandable forms. That's the intent at least, of these videos.
What if one is very depressed but is able to work & still get through the work in a good manner, plus take the dogs out religiously, because there's no one else around to do so & it's only right they must go out...they need it, plus feed them & oneself. I do the above because, needs must.
BUT I all other aspects of life I suffer from a total lack of motivation, interest in previous enjoyments & have no satisfaction in life? Anhedonia.
I'm going to now start & do more behaviour things, even though it feels like I don't want & can't be bothered. I know I'll get no joy & will be just going through the motions, but I believe (through your vlogs) that doing has to come first & the interest will come later.
I'm willing to try anything.
Thank you so much for your valued info.
Why doesn't my Dr or clinician understand depression like you do?
They just give out antidepressants & do very little listening.
This is incredibly helpful. Thank you.
You're very welcome!
Im setting the goal of every day getting outside to enjoy nature...staying organized. Not buying things I dont need.
These videos are excellent. Thanks for uploading them.
You're very welcome. I'm going to be working on a comprehensive video series on depression management skills, so I hope you'll keep an eye for those as they come out in the next few months.
@Dr. Rami Nader Thank you I will.
I really enjoy all your videos. This one is my favorite. The advice is so useful and easy to follow. Thanks!
Hi Siobhan - You're welcome. glad you have found the videos helpful and thank you for supporting the channel.
New subscriber here. This video really resonated with me. I especially appreciated the point that a goal should not be dependent on someone else’s actions. Thank you!
Hi Amy, welcome to the channel and thank you for subscribing! I'm glad you found the video helpful.
I’m so glad I’ve come across your channel Very clear and concise ☺️
I'm glad you have found the channel as well! I'm happy you are finding the videos helpful.
Thank you Dr appreciate this so much- just wish I dont have so many regrets that hunt me
Good stuff. Similar to what we might call "the little way" of Terese of Liseux. Accept what's on your plate. Do what is doable. Don't pursue good feelings for their own sake. Thanks for the video. Good reminders to live intentionally rather than drifting along vaguely.
Hi Joe - well said. Glad you found the video helpful!
this is better than all those motivational videos i’ve been watching since i was 16. i’m 19 now and this has helped a to. thank you so much 😊
You're very welcome. I'm glad you found it helpful.
I love your videos! They're always very helpful.
In really pleased to hear that Fernando. I'm glad you are finding the videos useful and thank you for supporting the channel.
Your videos give me hope and I don't feel so alone anymore thank you!
You're very welcome Susan. Glad you found the videos helpful!
Thank you, this is very helpful.
You're very welcome.
This video and suggestions posted so on time for me. Thank you. These are very helpful
Hi Daria - glad you found the video helpful. All the best with setting your goals.
Great video that I found helpful. Thank you sir!
You're very welcome!
I guess in this video you talked about every problem that i have and i have never heard that someone else talks about these problems. Thank you so much. I am enlightened.
You're welcome, glad you found it helpful!
Thank you 😊👍very effective
Glad it was helpful!
I didn't know you could feel so low but willing to try anything
شكرا لك دكتور نادر , هدفي المحدد اليوم هو قراءة كتاب مفيد لمدة عشرين دقيقه
Feeling good
Thanks
You're very welcome 😃
Hi Margi - I just saw that you gave me a Thank You donation! That is so very generous of you and much appreciated. I don't make these videos with the intent of earning any money from them, but I just see this channel as an opportunity to help as many people as possible, who may not have access to this type of info. Take care and thank you once again for supporting this channel!
thank you.
Thank you so much , this is what i need to hear and know🙏👍🏻🌸
Glad you found the video helpful!
Definitely will use this in my Mental Motivation Empowerment Seminars
Thanks Dr. Rob! Glad you found the video useful.
This makes a lot of sense. I think I am going to use these tools. To help me so I can finally overcome these depressive symptoms. Thank you
Hi Yvette - glad you found the video helpful. I wish you all the best in your efforts to feel better.
I’m hoping for something!
Brilliant Video thanks. Will follow your advice 😉 xx
You're very welcome!
Thanks 👍😊 for sharing!!!!!
You're very welcome!
I feel depressed for a few days but I am trying to come out of that by doing and accomplishing small things thank you Dr .. you are the best psychiatrist I have ever seen . By the way how can we increase serotonin in our body without pills
This is brilliant and so helpful!
Set goals that are measurable and really clear. I like the example of cleaning the kitchen for ___ amount of time instead of just saying ‘I’m going to clean the krichen’ and looking back at what wasn’t done only to feel crappy about it and still in that black cloud. And making sure the goals are realistic is also important as you mentioned. I’ve experienced my mood lifting from setting realistic goals and you solidified why I’ve felt so much better doing so.
Cheers
Hi Audrey - glad you found the video helpful!
This is amazing!!!!!🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
Glad you found it helpful!
This is helpful. Thank you!
You're very welcome!
Thank you so much. That is very useful and helpful.
You're welcome!
Thanks for the video, it was extremely informative and helpful. I really appreciate you giving examples of poor goal setting because that is something I do often and I was able to recognize myself in those examples. I struggle the most with setting up specific and realistic tasks. I think it's a good idea not to be afraid of changing your goals as you go along to make them better reflect the reality.
Glad you found it helpful!
Excellent Thank You
You're very welcome. Glad you found the video helpful.
Utterly brilliant info that helps me & will help many others.
You Sir, know your stuff on mental conditions.
Thank you
You're welcome. Glad you found the video helpful.
Thankyou Dr. Nadi. I am going to apply these principles. I want to make better money, so I am going to think of some realistic jobs I could do with my level of experience and education. Right now I just sell muffins at the store down the street, and I'm not so sure I like being in the kitchen at times. Breaking this down to baby steps is the main purpose as to maybe I can work on my attitude of cooking. I have a lot of people who hate cooking in my family, but I know I don't have to be the same way. Maybe my goal should be enjoying myself in the kitchen, right? I know some others that really enjoy cooking, so why let negative family members rub off on me. It's a skill I'm not too bad at considering it's hard to find the things I'm good at.
Glad you found the video useful Karen. Best of luck with your efforts.
Terrific idea. Thanks
You're very welcome. Glad you found it helpful.
Thanks for sharing your content man!
You're very welcome. Glad you found it helpful.
It was so helpful.I'm definitely trying this.
Glad you found it helpful!
That was of great benefit to me
Thank you
You're welcome!
Dr NAder you are like god to me thankyou
That is very kind of you to say.
very sensitively thought out, looks like it works. you get it.
Glad you found it helpful!
This reminds me of a SMART goals that businesses talk about in terms of employee growth goals. However, instead of focusing on making goals quantifiable by the business to tell if an employee is meeting them or not, this process is based around making sure that a person can actually succeed at them to get motivation for doing slightly more ambitious goals next time. I think that's way better than SMART goals. The goal of SMART goals involves other people; you're not doing the goal for yourself, you're doing it for someone else who could just decide you didn't do good enough and fire you even if you met the goal.
Hi Kevin - thank you for your insights. You are correct that this is very similar to SMART goals, but with some subtle differences that I think are more relevant to depression.
Goals:
Work for 2 hours a day with a timer
Workout for 1 set of 3 exercises (instead of worrying about a full one)
Eat 3 wholefood meals a day
I tend to caution people about setting every day goals, because if the person happens to miss even just one day, the goal for the week is a "failure".
@@DrRamiNader thank you ! Do you think that Blue has set to many for one week ?
It entirely depends on how much energy and motivation the person has.
@@valjbonakajtazi4893 In answer to this, some days I do hit them , some days I don't. Today I did my exercises, wholefood all day , and worked 7 hours, since I wrote the last comment I did 3 months of wholefoods then I went off course for a while (not terrible but it wasn't wholefood) and some months went down to only exercising 3 times that whole month. I've managed to stick to the work atleast 2 hours a day goal, some days I admit are a struggle but I do it. I agree that I perhaps shouldn't have daily goals and instead weekly so my bad bad days don't make me feel horrid. Now my exercise is try for 3 week
@@bluejayjitsu4429 first you are doing ! Second you are doing your best ! Third you are not giving up and however it looks you are following as much as you can . Blue Thank you, hope soon I am back on my track . I never suffer of depression, I am struggling simply to set back my goals and work on them .
SO HELPFUL!!! 💗
Glad you found it helpful!
I will try one more video.
Really good! Baby steps.
Small and steady takes the cake.
@@DrRamiNader Yes! I try to focus on one small task I need to do, and somehow in the doing, it brings me to the next thing. I remember reading in Aaron Beck's book on CBT that he had a severely depressed artist just make a line on a piece of drawing paper. Just a line, that was it. Anybody who has never been depressed may not appreciate how such a small thing is huge when one is severely depressed.
God, I love this guy!
That's really nice of you to say. Thank you