Donald Jr.'s Testimony Summarized: 'I Do Not Recall'

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  • Опубліковано 12 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 2 тис.

  • @shadowhegog9798
    @shadowhegog9798 6 років тому +473

    At least we have reached the point that when I tell my baby brother he is acting like Trump, he immediately bursts into tears.

  • @minuusha
    @minuusha 6 років тому +108

    Holy crap. Stephen nailed the impressions of those three presidents.

  • @rgwak
    @rgwak 6 років тому +453

    Colbert's "douchebag" voice for Jr is spot on!

  • @dicedavis84
    @dicedavis84 6 років тому +93

    Colbert = living legend

    • @skippingrhyme4386
      @skippingrhyme4386 5 років тому

      Bro he Killed it lmao, That "Worst Case Scenario Simon Cowell" Lol

  • @ke7892
    @ke7892 6 років тому +153

    Colbert's presidential impersonations are absolute gold!

    • @js-ty9dk
      @js-ty9dk 5 років тому

      So true

    • @11bkev
      @11bkev 3 роки тому

      They are pathetic and unfunny because he clearly has a biased point of view.

    • @sillygoose635
      @sillygoose635 2 роки тому

      @@11bkev no they aren't, and you only think otherwise because you have a biased point of view

  • @saitamatrash2527
    @saitamatrash2527 6 років тому +38

    When the monologue is one peace, oh the gods have bestowed us with a gift on this fine Friday!

  • @acciousername6776
    @acciousername6776 6 років тому +426

    "I do not recall..."
    Who does he think he is, Jeff Sessions?!

    • @Miss1Ginger
      @Miss1Ginger 6 років тому +7

      Accio Username lmao

    • @TimeandMonotony
      @TimeandMonotony 6 років тому +5

      Exactly what I was thinking!

    • @Nilas55
      @Nilas55 6 років тому +8

      Judge: What's your name:
      Jeff Sessions: I don't recall!

    • @age-ben4910
      @age-ben4910 6 років тому +5

      +Accio Username What did you have for breakfast a few hours ago..."I Do Not Recall"

    • @willtheangrydudeist9120
      @willtheangrydudeist9120 6 років тому +1

      Or Alberto Gonzales, Tom Delay, Karl Rove, Donald Rumsfeld, Oliver North, Edwin Meese... etc. Lol

  • @donstoddard8458
    @donstoddard8458 6 років тому +20

    Once again hitting the nail on the head. Thank you Stephen

  • @reaganlear6548
    @reaganlear6548 6 років тому +118

    "Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason".
    *Mark Twain*

  • @ariloveshouse
    @ariloveshouse 6 років тому +637

    "I Do Not Recall" should be the slogan for Trump 2020.

    • @lionsofwar9847
      @lionsofwar9847 6 років тому +9

      moonwalkingthroughlife haaaah! haaaah!

    • @scottmckenzie5476
      @scottmckenzie5476 6 років тому +30

      moonwalkingthroughlife
      Or Trump for prison 2020. Now that would truly make America great again.

    • @tammytruthout8465
      @tammytruthout8465 6 років тому +7

      Worked for Sessions.

    • @jeremeerxleben6671
      @jeremeerxleben6671 6 років тому

      moonwalkingthroughlife Trump 2020, MAGA! ☆ ★ ☆ ★ Fk the snowflake libtards

    • @strangewayfaringstranger
      @strangewayfaringstranger 6 років тому +16

      "Remember when Trump was president?"
      "I do not recall."
      Or an idea for a new movie. "Total Do Not Recall"

  • @19thHour
    @19thHour 6 років тому +622

    "I never taught you to lie. That's why you're so *BAD* at it." - Thanos to Gamora, 2018 (Alternatively: Donald to Donjr, 2018)

    • @alanarunmavath6005
      @alanarunmavath6005 6 років тому +32

      19thHour plz push jr of a cliff for the no jail stone

    • @ԷմմանուելԷզենվանՄեղր
      @ԷմմանուելԷզենվանՄեղր 6 років тому +35

      Except that the trump's are really awful at it. Both of them can't tell a sensible lie.

    • @biocapsule7311
      @biocapsule7311 6 років тому +16

      Correction... Donald likely did taught jr to lied, that's why it's so bad...

    • @shaym829
      @shaym829 6 років тому +3

      19thHour Best comment 🏆😂

    • @mavendeo
      @mavendeo 6 років тому +2

      19thHour
      *Hey! Spoiler warning?*
      Damn, man... It's bad enough I already figured out if anyone died, who they were, and _how_ they died thanks to random internet spoilers.

  • @NewMessage
    @NewMessage 6 років тому +1327

    I have a 7 year old who's figured out that lying doesn't work if you just keep changing your story until something 'sticks'. Wonder when Donny Jr. will hit that developmental milestone.

    • @jdnelson121
      @jdnelson121 6 років тому +2

      It's like he's using Hillary's playbook huh?

    • @TheGozz13
      @TheGozz13 6 років тому +3

      Not in this lifetime..!!! LOL

    • @pansepot1490
      @pansepot1490 6 років тому +21

      New Message, telling a few lies doesn't work but lying no stop is very effective. According to polls, the large majority of Republicans believe Trump is innocent and the witch hunt is real.

    • @depressedgaysassyitalianre5748
      @depressedgaysassyitalianre5748 6 років тому +14

      Joshua Nelson watch out she’s behind you!!

    • @MusicByJC
      @MusicByJC 6 років тому +41

      Actually no. Hillary was investigated and didn't cry about it ever second and of course they came up empty handed. In Trumps case, new evidence of the corruption, fraud and pay to play schemes come out ever day. A number of people indited. 6 people now have plead guilty, the newest being Manfort's son-in-law and he is not working with Mueller.
      Maybe they are using the same playbook and the difference is due to Hillary being innocent and Trump being guilty of too many crimes to count.

  • @emily-8252
    @emily-8252 6 років тому +2

    I legitimately couldn't get through this without Stephen Colbert

  • @misterb3577
    @misterb3577 6 років тому +187

    Trump Jr.'s least favorite movie: *Total Recall*

  • @qasimahmad8165
    @qasimahmad8165 6 років тому +139

    Interviewer: “so is Mr Trump innocent?”Giuliani: “Well legally you can’t indict a sitting president.”
    Nuff Said

    • @raptorblader
      @raptorblader 6 років тому +4

      Only for certain crimes, think of it as Diplomatic immunity.

    • @PaulZink
      @PaulZink 6 років тому +8

      But after he's no longer in office… Wham, Bam, thank you Ma'am!

    • @oltedders
      @oltedders 6 років тому

      raptorblader
      Like...crimes.

    • @oltedders
      @oltedders 6 років тому

      James Schrader
      No, there's not a long list. Bush's Patriot Act is the most egregious set of violations of civil rights to date that gave rise to what continued in the Obama administration.
      BTW, no one "infiltrated" Trump's campaign. A single informant was in contact with George Papadopoulos who had already raised a red flag when he told the Australian ambassador that he was in contact with elements within the Russian government. The FBI had no involvement in the campaign itself. There were no spies involved.

    • @PaulZink
      @PaulZink 6 років тому

      And don't forget Warren G. Harding.

  • @HunterTracks
    @HunterTracks 6 років тому +1603

    The whole Trump team is currently beating whatever the world record for "Most collective amnesia" is. Apparently, stupidity isn't the only trait that spreads.

    • @shantoreywilkins651
      @shantoreywilkins651 6 років тому +14

      Unknown Error 🎩
      😁
      👕👍Great!
      👖

    • @YouTuneIt
      @YouTuneIt 6 років тому +34

      Im not sure about the about how official the role of the senior advisor to the president is, does he receive money, is he empowered to act or can it just a honorary role privately given (which I doubt) but any government employee or official who when under investigation or called on as a witness can not give more satisfying answers than "I do not recall" should at least immediately be let go as unfit for office. Either they are liars or they are mentally incompetent for holding that position. (eying over to Jeff Sessions). For gods sake elementary school kids are held to a higher standard.
      And I am by no means meaning this hasn't been an issue before Trump, but under his Regime it has become the norm to shamelessly lie and dodge any responsibility. The damage this is doing to public discourse and the office is worse than most legislation he could try to pass.

    • @soyborne.bornmadeandundone1342
      @soyborne.bornmadeandundone1342 6 років тому +20

      Well shit lol... Not being able to remember stuff is pretty much what stupidity is.

    • @elliotboertje5079
      @elliotboertje5079 6 років тому +8

      Why argue against hillary or trump being derided? Its clear that both were abysmal candidates that made a mockery of the intricate inner workings of the constitution, lets not choose the lesser of two evils, lets reject them both please.

    • @colinsmith6448
      @colinsmith6448 6 років тому

      You sure you aren't referring to Hilary Clinton?

  • @samuelvimes5770
    @samuelvimes5770 6 років тому +257

    1. There was no meeting
    2. The meeting wasn´t at Trump tower
    3. There weren´t any russians
    4. None of us met with any russians
    5. None of us met with any russians connected to the russian government
    6. Didn´t know what the meeting was about
    7. Meeting joined by Jared, Don jr and Manafort wasn´t important
    8. The meeting with russians connected to the russian government wasn´t about collusion
    9. The meeting with russians connected to the russian government was only about sanctions
    10. Meeting with russians was nothing because they had no dirt on Hillary
    11. Trump never knew about Don jr, Jared & Manfort meeting russians in Trump Tower
    ...

    • @114418514
      @114418514 6 років тому +31

      Notice how that mirrors their Climate Change stance as well, from
      "Climate Change isn't happening" back then
      to
      "Our actions aren't the biggest contributor to greenhouse gasses" today

    • @c.l.freeman7654
      @c.l.freeman7654 6 років тому +13

      You forgot the whole adoption thing

    • @mimimarcus
      @mimimarcus 6 років тому +7

      That's a damn good list of the many versions of one lie that the Trump family has admitted, each version inching closer to the truth. Somebody out there has got to have evidence of Don Jr calling Don Sr during that meeting. Please leak the evidence, so we all can have a national holiday!!!

    • @trysometruth
      @trysometruth 6 років тому +3

      +Comrade Trump The _Adoption Thing_ is the _Sanctions Thing._ Putin's angry response to the Magnitsky Act's passage (sanctions against Putin-connected oligarchs) was to ban Americans from adopting Russian babies. When they say "we were talking about adoptions" it means "we were talking about how we were promising to eliminate sanctions".

    • @otis747baff
      @otis747baff 5 років тому

      Hahahaha! None of the above.

  • @nzfisherclan
    @nzfisherclan 6 років тому +10

    On fire Mr Colbert, truly on fire ....love your work.

  • @iLOVEpalestineNlebanonFOREVER
    @iLOVEpalestineNlebanonFOREVER 3 роки тому +1

    You know what, I prefer his at home shows. The genuine laughter from his family made it so much better.

    • @BlunderDownUnder
      @BlunderDownUnder 3 роки тому

      Agreed and I hope his wife laughing just off camera stays forever!

  • @wairimumukuria959
    @wairimumukuria959 6 років тому +22

    Comedy gold. Warmest greetings with a dash of sunshine from Nairobi, Kenya.

    • @amnonmeyers6946
      @amnonmeyers6946 6 років тому

      Trump's birthplace! Why won't he show his birth certificate?

  • @ark4269
    @ark4269 6 років тому +235

    Happy Muellerversary!

    • @depressedgaysassyitalianre5748
      @depressedgaysassyitalianre5748 6 років тому +1

      Ark 42 okay now he can GET ON WITH IT ALREADY!!!

    • @jeremeerxleben6671
      @jeremeerxleben6671 6 років тому

      Ark 42 Mueller and deepstate puppets going down

    • @smurfette1509
      @smurfette1509 6 років тому +5

      jereme Erxleben As long as President Clown and his goons go down with 'em. Here's something you'd like: Go stick Hannity up your ass, idiot.

    • @jeremeerxleben6671
      @jeremeerxleben6671 6 років тому

      Morgan Field go ahead support deepstate Mueller and his lies keep eating the shit they feed you Trump 2020 MAGA! ☆ ★ ☆ ★ Trump and his goons are here to stay.

    • @Murmurrr
      @Murmurrr 6 років тому

      jereme Erxleben lmao alright kid, nice stars

  • @TheTwick
    @TheTwick 6 років тому +126

    One year anniversary gift is paper - as in subpoenas.

  • @theinterfaithshepherd9075
    @theinterfaithshepherd9075 6 років тому +142

    I very much look forward to Trump's eviction from office. If he committed a crime, he must be put in jail like every other criminal. People are sitting in jail for 25yrs for selling pot. What should he get for selling our country as a traitor?

    • @reubenbell1980
      @reubenbell1980 6 років тому +1

      Shocky Shocky

    • @izzad777
      @izzad777 6 років тому +5

      you guys Americans had serious white collar crime problems since 9/11. FBI used to take white collar crimes a lot more serious before 9/11, now its all terrorism while cripplingly damaging corruptions are pretty much left unchecked and unpunished. Americans need to get this back into the spotlight, only then your country can be sane again. terrorism in another continent will not kill you. these misuse of power in large scale will.

    • @plumbloko688
      @plumbloko688 5 років тому

      Plum loko

    • @Chief2Moon
      @Chief2Moon 5 років тому +2

      Again I ask...could we tar&feather him now while we're waiting for him to get out of office & be tried & sentenced? He'll have things tied up in courts the next 10-15yrs before an actual trial begins. Haha...sad but true

    • @bettiegoober7853
      @bettiegoober7853 4 роки тому

      He should get life in solitary confinement.

  • @vitorjanela2782
    @vitorjanela2782 6 років тому +5

    Colbert's monologues are the best in late night tv. There ive said it!

  • @missybarbour6885
    @missybarbour6885 6 років тому +5

    THANK YOU WHOEVER POSTED THE WHOLE MONOLOGUE AS ONE VIDEO

  • @EvelineUK
    @EvelineUK 6 років тому +72

    I guess he is not blessed with his dad's amazing memory. Poor sod.

    • @MrBlockice22
      @MrBlockice22 6 років тому

      EvelineUK sod, good one. A son of a dummy LOL

  • @zygmuntthecacaokakistocrat6589
    @zygmuntthecacaokakistocrat6589 6 років тому +23

    "Dad gets angry when you interrupt his toilet burger" is modern poetry. Shakespeare, almost. If he werent dead.

  • @smurfette1509
    @smurfette1509 6 років тому +44

    I don't know why I'm not a bigger fan of Stephen Colbert because he's good, really good.

    • @nicstr28
      @nicstr28 6 років тому

      Probably because his humor seriously lacks any resemblance of facts or humor. He's a tiny piss ant....a mama's boy...just like Richard Simmons. Pretty sad because he could actually be funny if his joke had any fact to them. Jokes about imaginary crap aren't funny to anyone except the uninformed liberal....but they aren't interested in facts if you just say what they want to hear. He's playing your ads and making$$$ on it😂🤣😂😂
      You do know one of his and his wife's best friends are Martha Mcallum and her husband? Staunch conservatives? Did you know that🤣😂🤣😂 he's getting rich off dumbasses like you.

    • @Mrwhite-u3g
      @Mrwhite-u3g 6 років тому

      Nik str, obviously you haven't seen the Washington press club address by Colbert. Bigger balls than most.

  • @buffboy1954
    @buffboy1954 6 років тому +44

    Colbert's impressions of Nixon and Clinton were absolutely brilliant, although, as a Scotsman, I may not be the best judge! Thank God for Colbert - he sees right through Trump's avalanche of lies.

    • @trnharris
      @trnharris 6 років тому +2

      Bruce Maher The *majority* of people with eyes do;-)

    • @reubenbell1980
      @reubenbell1980 6 років тому

      So much winning folks

    • @albertelnen4995
      @albertelnen4995 6 років тому

      Trump is his best impression.

  • @dafttool
    @dafttool 6 років тому +27

    First year anniversaries require paper gifts, like sealed indictments

  • @jacksondepiero8116
    @jacksondepiero8116 6 років тому +17

    Best monologue ever.

  • @frantura7482
    @frantura7482 6 років тому +164

    I for one do not recall writing this comment,,

    • @richarddarlington1139
      @richarddarlington1139 6 років тому +13

      Fran Tura
      What comment?
      I do not recall reading your comment saying you don't recall writing that comment.

    • @reaganlear6548
      @reaganlear6548 6 років тому +2

      Fran Tura What comment?

    • @shaym829
      @shaym829 6 років тому

      Fran Tura 😂

    • @Lowkeylie
      @Lowkeylie 3 роки тому +1

      @@richarddarlington1139 That’s ridiculous. There never was any comment, and even if there was, since when are comments something you read?

    • @richarddarlington1139
      @richarddarlington1139 3 роки тому

      @@Lowkeylie
      This was two years ago.
      I don't recall making that comment.

  • @Mandinko23
    @Mandinko23 6 років тому +1

    Ilove the piano piece at the end its so melencholy and beautiful

  • @ratatataraxia
    @ratatataraxia 6 років тому +122

    It feels weird wishing ill upon our leader. But then I remember who it is and what's he's said and done.

    • @ChronicPainInTheAss
      @ChronicPainInTheAss 6 років тому

      Ma Ni
      ua-cam.com/video/GkgIgUxSrPU/v-deo.html

    • @burntpieceoftoast4148
      @burntpieceoftoast4148 6 років тому +2

      Mark N.
      Please tell us how the surprise Secret Service visit went! 😂🤣🤣
      Kidding, but still agree with you. He's dangerous and does need to be removed from office.

    • @davidsouza7994
      @davidsouza7994 5 років тому +1

      Sadly, couldn't agree more

    • @Keihryon
      @Keihryon 5 років тому

      And if the other candidate had won, we'd be in even worse shit...and people like Colbert would be covering it up instead of exposing it. I love the smell of Hypocrisy in the morning.

    • @kabutoyakushi9739
      @kabutoyakushi9739 5 років тому +3

      @@Keihryon What exactly makes you think Colbert would be covering it up?
      It's just pretty funny how people like you assume just because others don't like Trump, that all of us blindly follow Hillary

  • @breadyegg
    @breadyegg 6 років тому +44

    "...worse case scenario Simon Cowell" LOLd

  • @TheBIackSheep
    @TheBIackSheep 6 років тому +14

    Steven was on fire tonight lol. Great show!

  • @ctrlaltdestroy91
    @ctrlaltdestroy91 6 років тому +8

    9:53 Expert use of the Flashdance song there, Jon :)

  • @milacridlig8401
    @milacridlig8401 6 років тому +11

    This show is pure genius!!!

  • @noorjahankhan1484
    @noorjahankhan1484 6 років тому +14

    Colbert’s on Fireeeee tonight 🔥🔥🔥😂😂😂

  • @maxmartin2763
    @maxmartin2763 6 років тому +202

    DT Jr. First meeting. "I don't recall."
    Second meeting. "I didn't know what is was about and I was SWEATY FROM THE GYM."
    Is that what they call "selective memory loss?"

    • @saluk7419
      @saluk7419 6 років тому +13

      Seriously. How do you not recall so much anout a meeting you put effort into setting up and attended, but remember the reasons you didn't attend some other meeting.

    • @mlghelp2day
      @mlghelp2day 6 років тому +5

      Maxmartin selective memory-shitness: Half selective memory and half bullshit🤓😅

    • @thereaction18
      @thereaction18 6 років тому

      saluk Depends how many meetings you have. I was always a fan of distributing copies of the agenda before the meeting and having a secretary take notes. Same for giving classroom instruction or training.

    • @PaulZink
      @PaulZink 6 років тому +5

      I assume by "you faggots", you mean the lying Republicans. In which case, you're right: the Russia investigation is going to cripple them in 2018, and sink Trump if he actually decides to run again in 2020 (or is even in a position to run…).

    • @oltedders
      @oltedders 6 років тому

      Rake Steele
      Did you just wake up from a coma. The Russia connection is a given. The Trumpanzees have been coming up with multiple explanations of why they've been dealing with the Reds for a few months now. Time to get up to speed.

  • @kennedybaz7254
    @kennedybaz7254 6 років тому +42

    My 6 year old son lied to me about eating his vegetables, when I find out that he lied I got angry and I asked why did you lie to me? where do you think lying will get you in life? he simply answered me to the White House.

    • @tammytruthout8465
      @tammytruthout8465 6 років тому +1

      Kennedy Baz out of the mouths of babes... Sadly true.

    • @mmhoss
      @mmhoss 6 років тому +2

      And then everybody clapped

    • @georgeb.wolffsohn30
      @georgeb.wolffsohn30 6 років тому +5

      Kennedy Baz which is why America MUST see this through. Our children deserve a better example.

    • @judeconnor-macintyre9874
      @judeconnor-macintyre9874 4 роки тому

      @@mmhoss that happned

  • @brandondavidson4085
    @brandondavidson4085 6 років тому +22

    1:15, I am now using "twote" as the past tense conjugation for the verb "tweet".

  • @arturovaldemar
    @arturovaldemar 6 років тому +499

    Sometimes I think Giuliani is secretly against Trump.

    • @mathewpoole3589
      @mathewpoole3589 6 років тому +22

      Arturo Valdemar
      Nah he's just trying to seed the plausibility of preexisting behavior.
      Its better to portray Trump as a possible sleaze bag then have there be no doubt that his actions were politically driven.

    • @dugduggart5915
      @dugduggart5915 6 років тому +9

      Arturo Valdemar he’s a mole

    • @larryjohnny
      @larryjohnny 6 років тому +38

      If that's the case then Giuliani is a master of revenge!

    • @grete46
      @grete46 6 років тому +12

      Yes, I have had the same thoughts now and then. Could be, but that is difficult to know.

    • @stargateorion1912
      @stargateorion1912 6 років тому +6

      Arturo Valdemar i think so too

  • @jamesmason7979
    @jamesmason7979 6 років тому +6

    Lord, have mercy. Stephen went IN on this one!

  • @uainediabhal9689
    @uainediabhal9689 5 років тому +2

    "Toilet burger"! HILARIOUS! Thank you Stephen, for helping us to laugh at anything we can, as much as we can, whenever we can; it makes life livable.

  • @gloriac4224
    @gloriac4224 6 років тому +73

    Like father like son liars, liars!

    • @seriesjunkie0074
      @seriesjunkie0074 6 років тому +7

      Gloria C The shit didn't fall far from the asshole.😁

  • @outseeker
    @outseeker 6 років тому +179

    taking the jeff sessions approach to guilt eh? well it seemed to work for him, so why not i suppose.

    • @alleycatgillis1964
      @alleycatgillis1964 6 років тому +4

      outseeker if I'm ever in a courtroom, I'm going to try this approach.

    • @CanItAlready
      @CanItAlready 6 років тому +10

      Ronald Reagan said "I don't recall" or "I can't remember" 88 times during 8 hours of deposition on the Iran-contra affair. Rear Admiral Poindexter said the same thing 184 times over 5 days of questioning on the same matter. Ah, tradition.

    • @deadfreightwest5956
      @deadfreightwest5956 6 років тому +4

      + CSharp - Excellent point. Well, there you go again. The wheel turns, but it makes my head spin.

    • @Lucius1958
      @Lucius1958 6 років тому

      CSharp: The nostalgia is overwhelming...

    • @thereaction18
      @thereaction18 6 років тому

      Alley Cat Gillis Don't forget the depositions before you even get to court. Very important.

  • @samuelclemens1691
    @samuelclemens1691 6 років тому +40

    Politicians are very much like diapers they should be changed as often as possible, and for the same reason. Mark Twain.

  • @uainediabhal9689
    @uainediabhal9689 5 років тому +2

    "His toilet burger"! Thank the Gods that we have laughter to get us through this; We love you Stephen

  • @mlghelp2day
    @mlghelp2day 6 років тому +13

    ...."IS HE GONE??!" The face that Stephen made. Lol😅

  • @theempires5
    @theempires5 6 років тому +40

    Consuming too much Keebler Elf cookie, DJR?

  • @freerehab2848
    @freerehab2848 6 років тому +6

    With ALL honesty, I never thought I would live to see this.

  • @BlakieTT
    @BlakieTT 6 років тому +13

    HEY! It's one big video! Thanks, editor :>

  • @xxx6555
    @xxx6555 6 років тому +4

    Colbert is brilliant.

  • @slxcrunr
    @slxcrunr 6 років тому +1

    Got damn, Colbert in rare form here. One of his best segments in recent memory

  • @twonumber22
    @twonumber22 6 років тому +57

    *Guilty as sin.*

  • @VincentAnzalone
    @VincentAnzalone 6 років тому +18

    Question: "when's the last time you spoke with your father and he told you that he loved you"
    Don Jr: "I can't remember, but definitely not when I spoke with him right after talking with the Russians"

  • @roseliekane1060
    @roseliekane1060 6 років тому +13

    Oh, please , pleeeeaase! Please keep Giuliani on and continue to let him speak with cameras rolling and audio on.

  • @misskrissification
    @misskrissification 6 років тому +1

    Thank you for putting the whole monologue up in one vid!!

  • @ClayLoomis1958
    @ClayLoomis1958 6 років тому +1

    See there, you put the whole monologue in one video and it's easier for you, easier for all your fans, and everyone is happy. Thank you.

  • @lemonielala3080
    @lemonielala3080 6 років тому +11

    "Worst case scenario Simon Cowell" 👌👌👌😂😂

  • @formernewyorker5393
    @formernewyorker5393 6 років тому +4

    Hilarious, brilliant and savage! Colbert and his writers are awesome 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

  • @blu4085
    @blu4085 6 років тому +6

    That face though..when he says Natalia...... ;D))

  • @morganbeirne2804
    @morganbeirne2804 6 років тому +1

    Stephen’s on fire...love this.

  • @Shane-sp8lg
    @Shane-sp8lg 6 років тому +1

    The writing on this show is so good!!!

  • @p.bamygdala2139
    @p.bamygdala2139 6 років тому +5

    ...”has many people inside of him.”
    Literally choked on my soup, laughing.
    :-)

  • @Drace90
    @Drace90 6 років тому +222

    #StupidWatergate

  • @oogachaka3447
    @oogachaka3447 6 років тому +14

    Great genes at work right here, folks!

  • @andrewowens4421
    @andrewowens4421 6 років тому +2

    I just love the way Stephen says her name, "Natalia Veselnitskaya."

  • @EnriquePascual1989
    @EnriquePascual1989 6 років тому

    Best yet! Thanks Stephan for your POV!

  • @SweetLilWren
    @SweetLilWren 6 років тому +5

    Great monologue!

  • @russellcampbell9198
    @russellcampbell9198 6 років тому +85

    Maybe if we waterboard Don Jr. ... just a thought.

    • @janicek9399
      @janicek9399 6 років тому +3

      russell campbell good point, waterboard all of them, start at the top......

    • @Chunkboi
      @Chunkboi 6 років тому +1

      Depends on what kind of ‘water’ you plan to use.

    • @JamesSmith-bb3tm
      @JamesSmith-bb3tm 6 років тому +4

      russell campbell I agree with Janice K. WATERBOARD ALL OF THEM STARTING AT THE TOP or as dRUMP said I'D DO MORE THAN WATER BOARD. DON SR. QUOTE.

    • @Areanyusernamesleft
      @Areanyusernamesleft 6 років тому +3

      On the one hand, I believe that using waterboarding to gather reliable information is ineffective, not to mention unethical and immoral.
      On the other hand, the current Administration seems to have no qualms with it... :p

    • @Chunkboi
      @Chunkboi 6 років тому

      James Smith maybe add some LSD to the water...it might make Trump more coherent.

  • @chrismason947
    @chrismason947 6 років тому +19

    "Witch hunt", Nixon July 20, 1972.

  • @eminecichowski1016
    @eminecichowski1016 6 років тому

    Am I happy to see you back!!!! Desperate for truth from media that does not exist...

  • @mariajosequezada3148
    @mariajosequezada3148 6 років тому +1

    You outdid yourself!! Best monologue So farr 👏 hilarious

  • @TheReal008Zulu
    @TheReal008Zulu 6 років тому +18

    Don Jr.: I cannot recall so much, that I can tell you exactly what I don't recall.
    Trump: Don... don't, Don, no...

    • @TheReal008Zulu
      @TheReal008Zulu 6 років тому

      He has leaked info which has made things worse...

  • @badfairy9554
    @badfairy9554 6 років тому +45

    NDL. Stephen is the funnest Late Night.

    • @roicaratsimba2366
      @roicaratsimba2366 6 років тому +2

      Bad Fairy Agreed

    • @dianatwo9924
      @dianatwo9924 6 років тому +1

      Bad Fairy NDL?

    • @badfairy9554
      @badfairy9554 6 років тому

      Hi Diana ; Nearly died laughing.

    • @FutureChaosTV
      @FutureChaosTV 6 років тому

      No wars For Israel Well, Trump just needs to shut up for a day. But he can't. He has no self control.

  • @budrick2003
    @budrick2003 6 років тому +5

    This is going to be a classic monologue

  • @sth02
    @sth02 5 років тому +2

    That Don Jr. impression is golden. "DAMMIT. I forgot the garlic knots..."

  • @m.j.golden4522
    @m.j.golden4522 6 років тому +1

    The Stephen Cbert fix. So gooooood.

  • @scn5530
    @scn5530 6 років тому +61

    Toilet Burgers: The full-circle experience

    • @mikebockey4125
      @mikebockey4125 6 років тому +4

      i’d say that there’s a pretty good chance that the man has sat on the pot eating his cheeseburger before
      i just don’t want the visual

    • @getlost4666
      @getlost4666 6 років тому +1

      Full circle more like a split moon 🌙

    • @Chunkboi
      @Chunkboi 6 років тому

      Too grownup for Trump. This is more his speed: dolphinsilverwolf.deviantart.com/art/This-is-what-we-voted-for-Trump-Parody-622984317

  • @misspumpkinQueen1375
    @misspumpkinQueen1375 6 років тому +45

    Is it Mueller time yet?

    • @jeremeerxleben6671
      @jeremeerxleben6671 6 років тому

      Sondra Zimmerly Mueller is the biggest criminal out there, fuk that deepstate piece of shit

    • @davidcici11Evolution
      @davidcici11Evolution 6 років тому +4

      jereme Erxleben trumptard alert

    • @williamjackson5942
      @williamjackson5942 6 років тому

      Jereme, what a sad lil fool you are. SAD!

    • @jeremeerxleben6671
      @jeremeerxleben6671 6 років тому

      William Jackson you all are sad watching this bull shit

  • @vdinh143
    @vdinh143 6 років тому +6

    These presidential impressions are outstanding

  • @mbd6054
    @mbd6054 6 років тому +2

    We, the people, also have a plan. It's an oldie, but a goodie - we're going to vote! Knew that would scare them. Great monologue, Stephen.

  • @snoopy0822
    @snoopy0822 6 років тому +1

    Love how they play Thelonious Monk's "Evidence" after the joke at 8:50.

  • @aquamarinedream8304
    @aquamarinedream8304 6 років тому +6

    Stephen's on fire today..

  • @paulramos4037
    @paulramos4037 6 років тому +405

    Donald Jr.: "I do not recall" my daddy treated me like my sister Ivanka.

    • @maxhydekyle2425
      @maxhydekyle2425 6 років тому +42

      He fucked him too?

    • @smurfette1509
      @smurfette1509 6 років тому +5

      I want to see Chelsea beat the crap out of Ivanka (God, to think they're still friends).

    • @BothHands1
      @BothHands1 6 років тому +5

      That's pretty fucked up to joke about...

    • @WolfkinNorthclaw
      @WolfkinNorthclaw 6 років тому

      So Trump wants to fuck him to?

    • @thereaction18
      @thereaction18 6 років тому

      Paul Ramos OK, I hate you but I appreciate the quality of the joke. Even though it's bullsit. What's really funny is the first idiot to reply actually believed you. God, scrolling down just makes me lose faith in humanity on this site. There's more idiots. Holy shit. It's time for the purge. Unleash the Right Wing Death Squads!

  • @QuantumBraced
    @QuantumBraced 6 років тому +20

    Classic logical ambiguity. "If there had been collusion, they would have used it" -- can be interpreted to mean "the fact they didn't use it means they didn't intend to collude" (how Giuliani meant it) or "if they'd had a chance to collude, they would have used it" -- how Stephen meant it. Fun stuff.

    • @thomasschmitz5072
      @thomasschmitz5072 6 років тому +3

      yeah, i'm going to try that next time! "i tried to buy drugs, but they didn't have any, oh well, can i keep on trying to buy drugs again then?" line of defense...

    • @MrArtVein
      @MrArtVein 6 років тому

      Sounds like you are well versed in syllogisms my friend

    • @thomasschmitz5072
      @thomasschmitz5072 6 років тому +6

      so according to YOU, attempting a crime, attempting to meet AND meeting with our adversaries is not a crime, illegal or collusion or treason? never mind, we are ALL suppose to believe THEM, that they didn't take the info or used it? are we all suppose to believe too that it's the world's biggest coincidence that nearly every single person in trump's orbit just happened to meet with our adversary russia? and forgot about it, can't remember, lie about what the circumstances were and change their stories as well?!..

    • @thomasschmitz5072
      @thomasschmitz5072 6 років тому +1

      no, they didn't like or get the info they received according to you and them, and didn't use it (and we know they didn't use it because that is what they said? never mind, the changing stories of what the meetings were about, the amnesia about the meeting itself, the lying on their forms and so on, and we are ALL suppose to believe anything they say? really?) how about addressing the fact that THEY MET WITH THESE PEOPLE IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!!!!!!! AND DIDN'T RUN LITERALLY RUN BEFOREHAND TO TELL THE PROPER AUTHORITIES! (like everyone else would obviously INHERENTLY know to do!) but according to you, that means nothing, the fact that they didn't use the info (according to them that is) means nothing???? whew! who knew! when you attempt a crime/illegal activity as long as you don't actually go thru with it then it's all good! so in your mind attempted rape, attempted robbery, attempted murder, planned "whatever" means nothing and it's all legal and ethical! uh huh!...

    • @thomasschmitz5072
      @thomasschmitz5072 6 років тому +3

      EXACTLY! WHEN HAS HE (trump) EVER EVER EVER ACTED REMOTELY LIKE SOMEONE INNOCENT AND WITH NOTHING TO HIDE?!.. WHAT'S the last defense "oh, but they weren't politicians and so they didn't know any better, it's not their fault! the dog ate the homework"!!!!!!!!!????? when has he ever said "i have nothing to hide, i and no one around me did anything illegal or unethical, investigate me all you want, and so on?" NEVER!.. HE REEKS OF GUILT AND/OR IS LITERALLY TERRIFIED IN REGARDS TO HIS ACTUAL LIFE SOMETHING/SOMETHINGS BEING REVEALED TO THE WORLD!...

  • @claireconover
    @claireconover 6 років тому +1

    Colbert running across the screen always makes me laugh

  • @CalliopeCarina
    @CalliopeCarina 6 років тому +1

    I always love when ‘Natalya Veselnitskya’ (dun dun!) gets a mention!

  • @no3namesalike
    @no3namesalike 6 років тому +10

    Stephen, I love you, but I and all the other Russian speakers watching are collectively screaming at our screens right now: it's pronounced, in its simplest and most anglicized form, "MAH-TREE-YOH-SHKA" not "muh-trew-ska". I'm crying over here, darling.

  • @NewMessage
    @NewMessage 6 років тому +261

    "Nobody should believe the message you're trying to put out there..."
    Unless it's from me.. * darts eyes *
    What?

  • @CodingToFreedom
    @CodingToFreedom 6 років тому +4

    By now, and as a German happily watching this disaster from the sidelines I must say I find myself enjoying this more and more. It's like witnessing something unique, like those 2012 apocalypse parties where everyone had a perfect excuse to do the dumbest shit ever and laugh about it should we all survive.

  • @ezra55595
    @ezra55595 6 років тому +1

    That joke about the nesting dolls had me rolling.

  • @AlanHope2013
    @AlanHope2013 6 років тому

    Colbert is definitiely the best physical comedian on the air.

  • @thebookkeeper8404
    @thebookkeeper8404 6 років тому +25

    The word IS NOT collusion. The Word IS CONSPIRACY!!! USE IT.

    • @amnonmeyers6946
      @amnonmeyers6946 6 років тому +3

      Right. Collusion is not a crime. Conspiracy against the US is a serious crime. Conspiracy to undermine an election as well.

    • @rohe4077
      @rohe4077 6 років тому +4

      I agree. It's actually treason. He's working with foreign powers to undermind the country. And trump and his supporters brag about being patriotic. Stunningly stupid amount of non-self-reflection.

  • @ProjectFlashlight612
    @ProjectFlashlight612 6 років тому +21

    Gangsters in charge of the country

  • @leroy450
    @leroy450 6 років тому +2

    😂 😂 Colbert you’re a maniac 😂

  • @brendanorth2101
    @brendanorth2101 6 років тому

    Keep keeping us sane, Stephen!

  • @rockinchild234
    @rockinchild234 6 років тому +1

    this is the good stuff, when stephen doesn't hold back its just savage