If one spouse never “eroticized” the other spouse, the other spouse eventually gave up and “de-eroticized” the other spouse as a defense mechanism. Odds of healthy intimacy seem pretty low in a case like that.
Please!!! I hope you all read comments. This is the most recent video I could find to comment on. I've been following your guide steps. And things seems to have been working. She last night said we should start making moves to separation completely. I asked her to take it day by day with me, she said no, then listed reasons. I did not argue I validated her reasons. She said she would think about it. This morning, she reiterated no, and listed reasons. We spoke more about it, and she said she would take the day to think. I think she will say no again. I can't keep asking, at some point it turns into begging. She is refusing to work, but admits she loves and doesn't want to leave me, but feels it's necessary. I know I've been the problem and I'm making real changes but she doesn't trust it's real, due to past experiences she gives it a month. I understand that, but I'm truly changing. Please help me save my marriage before she moves out completely.
Looking elsewhere is similar to not having intimacy in that they are just symptoms of what’s wrong, not the cause of it. You have to figure out what is cause you to let go, loose faith and not stay. Like a lot of things it’s purely about choice, its about not believing you are loved there fore you can not love. A lot of people want unconditional love but don’t know how to give it.
@@JordanNHoule Unconditional love is for children. Romantic relationship require constant work. When work stops, the relationship deteriorates. It doesn’t have to end, just people stop caring and start taking pleasures and purpose from other parts of life.
@@valdius85 I don’t disagree that there are different kinds of love. Philia: Brotherly love, friendship, give and take. Eros: Physical, passion, two become one. Storge: Family love, community, support similar minded. Agape: All consuming, unconditional and love you only give of you’ve received. Unconditional love is for everyone from a loving father, yes we are called to be like children which just means open to receive guidance, to have innocence and to focus on kind and simple approach. Without this the other types are meaningless, fruitless, they are self gratifying and can be found in connections that don’t add value to your spirit. I hope you see you are still a deserving child that is being offered unconditional love, that your spouse or future spouse ultimately seeks this too and wants to feel that connection and isn’t just replaceable when something “better” comes along.
@@JordanNHoule Unless people are happy with an open relationship, there is no unconditional love in marriage. Even a roommate needs to bring things to the table... Depending on culture, people don't necessarily replace for something else, they just give up and stop bringing their own energy. Japanese men generally don't spend time with their wifes after children are born. Many blame the husbands, but no one wants to have an honest discussion with the husbands on why that is...
Water and care for your own grass and it will get greener. Same concept. People may look elsewhere but if they worked in what they have they could fix their issues
Hi. My wife has just left me. And she did it over a text as she had gone to see her mother for a few days. We have been together for 10 years. Her explanation is that she needs to work on herself. I don't know what to do as she has stated that she does not want any communication from me. I am so heart broken. I Love my wife with all I have. Please help me.
Love the idea of planning out your future with one another, so we always have something to work towards, especially after the kids are out of the home then we HAVE to deal with each other 😂
The only thing we do together take trips and thats his idea. I dont feel comfortable with it because we have debts and no savings to fall back on. He thinks his job and income level will last forever. He brought instability and insecurity into my life.
I was very cautious in dating because I saw the damage of divorce in others lives and eventually my own life. I am remarried but realize that it was one of the biggest risks someone will ever take and there are reasonable chances that the outcomes can be separation from your children, attempts to foil future relationships, financial ruin, and long lasting verbal put downs, insults, and possibly verbal abuse if you have children and need to co-parent. Love can be wonderful but the unexpected challenges can taint it. It only takes one to pull it apart. The single men I have talked to have often burned out. There is a general belief you have to be in the top 20% if you are going to attract a woman. I think we've all seen a man or woman leave a marriage of many years for just a short fling with someone who is perceived to be more attractive. Courtship has changed. I wish I could help more, but understanding a few of the many dynamics in dating might help lead to the how to break through the challenges. I got through that first step and am onto the next challenges of maintaining intimacy in my middle years when health and finances have had challenges that I had not planned for. I hope you can find that special someone.
Dictionary meaning of intimacy is the state of having a close personal relationship with someone, if its gone, its gone for ever. No matter what you do to fix, always is a pretence. In the end only Truth and honesty prevails, so no need to act in life, move on ..
Well over 60% of Americans are overweight. That means maybe 20% of couples have both partners in a good physical shape. How hard that elephant in the room needs to hit people so that the effects on relationships are understood?
What do you do if only one spouse is open to passion and intimacy?
Exactly
Exactly
*Crickets...
You have to do Steps 1-4 first. This is one of the last steps
If one spouse never “eroticized” the other spouse, the other spouse eventually gave up and “de-eroticized” the other spouse as a defense mechanism. Odds of healthy intimacy seem pretty low in a case like that.
EHow does one heal this de-eroticizing that they find themselves in?
Please!!! I hope you all read comments. This is the most recent video I could find to comment on. I've been following your guide steps. And things seems to have been working. She last night said we should start making moves to separation completely. I asked her to take it day by day with me, she said no, then listed reasons. I did not argue I validated her reasons. She said she would think about it. This morning, she reiterated no, and listed reasons. We spoke more about it, and she said she would take the day to think. I think she will say no again. I can't keep asking, at some point it turns into begging. She is refusing to work, but admits she loves and doesn't want to leave me, but feels it's necessary. I know I've been the problem and I'm making real changes but she doesn't trust it's real, due to past experiences she gives it a month. I understand that, but I'm truly changing. Please help me save my marriage before she moves out completely.
Not having any intimacy and passion is also a reason why people look elsewhere, isn't it?
Looking elsewhere is similar to not having intimacy in that they are just symptoms of what’s wrong, not the cause of it.
You have to figure out what is cause you to let go, loose faith and not stay.
Like a lot of things it’s purely about choice, its about not believing you are loved there fore you can not love. A lot of people want unconditional love but don’t know how to give it.
@@JordanNHoule
Unconditional love is for children.
Romantic relationship require constant work. When work stops, the relationship deteriorates.
It doesn’t have to end, just people stop caring and start taking pleasures and purpose from other parts of life.
@@valdius85 I don’t disagree that there are different kinds of love.
Philia: Brotherly love, friendship, give and take.
Eros: Physical, passion, two become one.
Storge: Family love, community, support similar minded.
Agape: All consuming, unconditional and love you only give of you’ve received.
Unconditional love is for everyone from a loving father, yes we are called to be like children which just means open to receive guidance, to have innocence and to focus on kind and simple approach. Without this the other types are meaningless, fruitless, they are self gratifying and can be found in connections that don’t add value to your spirit.
I hope you see you are still a deserving child that is being offered unconditional love, that your spouse or future spouse ultimately seeks this too and wants to feel that connection and isn’t just replaceable when something “better” comes along.
@@JordanNHoule
Unless people are happy with an open relationship, there is no unconditional love in marriage.
Even a roommate needs to bring things to the table...
Depending on culture, people don't necessarily replace for something else, they just give up and stop bringing their own energy.
Japanese men generally don't spend time with their wifes after children are born. Many blame the husbands, but no one wants to have an honest discussion with the husbands on why that is...
Water and care for your own grass and it will get greener. Same concept. People may look elsewhere but if they worked in what they have they could fix their issues
Hi. My wife has just left me. And she did it over a text as she had gone to see her mother for a few days. We have been together for 10 years. Her explanation is that she needs to work on herself. I don't know what to do as she has stated that she does not want any communication from me. I am so heart broken. I Love my wife with all I have. Please help me.
I WISH my "wife" would do the same..
Love the idea of planning out your future with one another, so we always have something to work towards, especially after the kids are out of the home then we HAVE to deal with each other 😂
Hmmmm..... very informative, thanks
it's all true!
Symptoms of falling out of love and being just an empty shell.
The only thing we do together take trips and thats his idea. I dont feel comfortable with it because we have debts and no savings to fall back on. He thinks his job and income level will last forever. He brought instability and insecurity into my life.
I can understand your fears 😞
But I'm seeing single men not wanting to try and they're checking out as on STRIKE?!
WHY?
Its you your not turning them on and keeping that fire lite.
I was very cautious in dating because I saw the damage of divorce in others lives and eventually my own life. I am remarried but realize that it was one of the biggest risks someone will ever take and there are reasonable chances that the outcomes can be separation from your children, attempts to foil future relationships, financial ruin, and long lasting verbal put downs, insults, and possibly verbal abuse if you have children and need to co-parent. Love can be wonderful but the unexpected challenges can taint it. It only takes one to pull it apart. The single men I have talked to have often burned out. There is a general belief you have to be in the top 20% if you are going to attract a woman. I think we've all seen a man or woman leave a marriage of many years for just a short fling with someone who is perceived to be more attractive. Courtship has changed. I wish I could help more, but understanding a few of the many dynamics in dating might help lead to the how to break through the challenges. I got through that first step and am onto the next challenges of maintaining intimacy in my middle years when health and finances have had challenges that I had not planned for. I hope you can find that special someone.
What if your spouse has Erectile Dysfunction?
Get it fixed. Many many treratments available.
First Viewer
Dictionary meaning of intimacy is the state of having a close personal relationship with someone, if its gone, its gone for ever. No matter what you do to fix, always is a pretence. In the end only Truth and honesty prevails, so no need to act in life, move on ..
Well over 60% of Americans are overweight. That means maybe 20% of couples have both partners in a good physical shape.
How hard that elephant in the room needs to hit people so that the effects on relationships are understood?