“ I felt inferior to their PTSD” damn that one hit home. But you gotta remember man it’s not a competition we all fight our demons how we can and none of that should matter just that you can overcome or help yourself in any way.
It's our ego that makes us feel that way. Even if someone try to make your trauma inferior, always remember that they don't have the power to make you feel anything, only you do.
I haven’t a clue where I heard it, but I remember hearing “Pain isn’t a pissing competition” one time and it’s never left me. I want Struggles to know that, everybody suffers from the cards their dealt, in different ways so theirs no need to compare wounds that are physical, mental, or emotional.
I ended up in a mental ward due to stress at some point, and there were people there that had lost jobs, families, saw shit, could barely function, and I felt like garbage because of how much worse they had it
Praise God. Jesus, who reigns, my Husband and Son of God, comes soon. USA(Babylon) will be invaded by Russia to the east and China to the west and will lose. NYC will be destroyed. Repent and focus on Jesus. Plead the blood of Jesus. Rapture is soon and the kingdom of God is near, so be holy. Obama is the antichrist and will use the rfid chip as mark of the beast with the False Prophet named Francis from Catholicism. There will be three days of darkness so please prepare as that will be when Jesus shall visit people. There will be fallen angels and giants and zombies and cyborgs and dinosaurs and persecution and many millions of deaths and disease like boils and tsunami to USA California and New Jersey and Florida and famine and fireball. Nuclear bombs shall strike. Canada and Europe and South America and asia shall also be affected with judgements. Time is short and Jesus is coming to collect a people without spot or blemish. Waters will turn to poison, The tribulation will be bad so enter rapture to escape. EMP coming to USA.All lives matter not just black lives. If you suffer from depression, anxiety, racing thoughts, mood swings, anorexia, suicide thoughts, loneliness, or have a disease, seek Jesus. Jesus can cure any disease. Husbands are head of the wives, husbands love wives and wives obey husband. Aliens are demons dont trust them. Osas is not always true. There will be a locust army that will wage war on humanity. Believe in faith to receive in prayer or you will not receive, those who exalt themselves shall be humbled but those who humble themselves shall be exalted first shall be last but last shall be first, seek Jesus and pray without ceasing, Keep 10 commandments even Sabbath, bless and not curse, repent of all sin, do unto others what you would want them to do unto you, harp music with praises to Jesus is biblical, read bible daily, cleanliness, no yoga or yoga pants, dont get COVID vaccine, love God, love others, avoid homosexuality, high heels, strife, sinful incest, guiding people into prostitution or lusting over nudity not married to you, Jehovah's Witness, witchcraft, sinful media like tv shows, unholy anime like death note and avatar last airbender and naruto and one piece and bleach, love of money, sex outside of biblical marriage, adultery, masturbation, porno/hentai, anal and oral sex and hand jobs, plastic surgery, football and idolizing football, merchants of the faith, addiction to facebook, sleeveless shirts and sinful shorts, sinful earrings and piercings, drunkenness, pride, smoking, gossip, lying,lacking faith, materialism, fictional books, dolls like dolls from Disney, no disney shows or movies, sinful movies like marvel, joking around, not loving God, unforgiveness, rap/music that doesn't glorify Jesus or God, cursing even parents, hate, suicide, videos games, trusting in self or humans over trusting in God and His Word, having any idol than Jesus, bikini and inappropriate clothing, sex with animals, arrogance, rebellion, Santa Claus, catholicism, 7th day adventist, lukewarmness, martial arts, freemasonry, energy drinks, skirts/dresses above the knee, tattoos, dying hair, star wars and the figures and movies and games, idolising sports and muscles and fitness and humans, abortion, islam, atheism, secularism, smoking cigarettes or marijuana or e cig, supporting or being a furry, orgies, swallowing semen, seeking the praises of men over God, burning government property sinfully, idolizing kpop stars or celebrities, hating God, dora the explora, cheating on your spouse with another person, bad thoughts like sexual thoughts and murdering thoughts, condoms, black goo, being rich in this life, loving this life, seeking popularity/ having favoritism/partiality,sex or lusting after animals or even children, racism, jehovah witness, mormonism, transgender, lies of evolution and big bang, flat earth, gambling, cheating or not paying on taxes when biblical required, mistreating orphans, bribes and taking bribes, leading at interest sinfully, murmuring, heresies, merciless, wrath, defamation, owing and being in debt, no affection, prosperity gospel, necromancy and mediums and astrology, hair extensions, God hates divorce, drinking human or animal blood, twilight book series, not helping the poor and needy and widows, not giving tithe (10% of income) and offerings, not being thankful to Jesus, not listening to parents, Halloween, 5g, avoid following other religion other than following Jesus Son of God. I am an unprofitable servant and least of everything by infinity. Best blessings to everyone every second forever by infinity God willing. Shalom aleichem.
I’ve had this problem before with my illness, thinking myself inferior to others with it, because their experiences were so much more traumatizing than mine.
I would disagree. I think the irony and juxtaposition is funny. The facts are tragic still and I wish we would choose to evolve sooner. too much pain in the world.
@@spartanwar1185 cuz sometimes, laughing at everything bad prevents you from facing the issues in your life and solving them, leading to a your life gradually worsening over time as existing issues get bigger and invite new ones to appear I would know, self-deprecation and escapism are my main defense mechanisms
I really want more stories from Struggle. His voice and his ability to tell stories is so comforting. The craziest thing about this is that it’s in a completely fictional VR game and this man is dressed as Anakin skywalker, and yet for some reason I feel like I can connect to him and his entire personality
I got out in 2020, I did four years in army special operations, lost a marriage post military, struggled with most vet things, but for some reason I stumbled upon some dudes talking about shit in VR, and it’s been the most therapeutic thing I’ve discovered yet.
Is it? I get out soon and it's not so much PTSD from deployments/etc, it's more so just being around 'those' kind of people. I know it's different on the outside, and I am seriously going to miss these people and the way we interact. I just can't take it anymore
My partner has tried to explain to me how she is after her parents abused her, and she used pretty much the same descriptive words as this guy, when describing PTSD at the start.
Yeah, this is night and day though, as the soldier murdered innocent people. Your partner is an actual victim. Trying to equate a soldier who invades a foreign country and kills innocents to victimhood is some next level hero worship and it's disturbing.
@@Petey0707 the solider who is ordered to kill people and listen to the sound of bullets of which any could kill them at any moment and watch their companions literally get their head blown off right next to them, and suffer nightmares for the rest of their life, is not the same person giving the orders who never has to be there. These men wake up screaming in the middle of the night for the rest of their lives. A lot of them commit suicide. People enlist in the army because someone has to, and then they're at the whim of the maniacs in power. You really have it all wrong.
@@grandolddrummer yea its the same thing. how are you not ashamed to tell that on this particular video il never understand. the men of your generation are an embarasment. man... y our grandchildren are gonna spit on your grave for the world you ppl leave behind
Yeah hearing him struggle for the words. I know that feeling. It's like the gears are sticking. I always just end up saying it's "weird" or something when I'm trying to describe the feeling I'm having. Feeling trapped is one way to put it, I agree with him on that. Like being trapped in existence. In an eternal prison that you'll never escape forever. Some days I feel normal, and then other days I fall apart. My partner is pretty understanding and listens to me sometimes for hours trying to explain. Like if I could just put it into words then it would stop. But I can't find the words, if they even exist.
@@StruggleGun Happy New Year, I have a question kyle, what was the size and girth of the male genitals in the military, and was there two people in the VR chat game? Or is it just you and Symour
A guy whose avatar is an anime cat, interviews a soldier who’s avatar is from a children’s cartoon, as he opens up about his real life experiences with war as they both pretend to be camping. The interview is way more real than anything I’ve seen on an actual media site. What a time to be alive
Well worded. Yeah I think there's something about the feeling of being behind an avatar that helps people be more vulnerable and candid. Something about it lends a very (and somewhat ironically) human depth to the discussion. It's like it gives us all the most intangible raw emotional aspects of a person while stripping away all other distractions and biases.
My father had PTSD and severe untreated TBI because the Army and VA did not care. This led to him committing suicide and me having to pick a phone up off his chest and tell my mother he was dead. Please talk to someone about your feelings so your family does not have to go what we went through.
@@SolarPodcast The ignorance of that statement is astounding. That aside, to come here and insult someone in such a way when you could have easily kept scrolling and ignored it is just spreading misery for no reason. If you're depressed, get help and/or talk to someone. Don't drag others down with you. Atheists like you make the rest of us look bad.
If you found this interesting. There’s a few videos on the VetTv UA-cam channel where Donny sits down with a psychologist who specializes on working with veterans and people with PTSD. Honestly some of the best videos I’ve seen. Very insightful. Really helpful to me personally actually.
I can listen to these stories all day. I have heard many, I’ve known many vets. I understand almost every aspect of war and hardship without living it myself. The question that people need to be asking is “Is this necessary?” I guarantee the people at the top sold their empathy and soul for power, money, and whatever else. No one person is “disposable” and everyone thrown into war faces something mentally destabilizing or physically debilitating. This kid served and still felt a moment where his own humanity was brought into question. I believe no one deserves to question their humanity if they are decent people. The United States hasn’t been in a real war since WW2 because none of the others were “necessary”. The survival of the country was not brought into question. Struggle paid his dues, suffered, and is rising from the ashes and will move forward in his life with a stronger understanding of “what it means to be human”. I’m proud and grateful for his service to both us during service and himself post service. Really think the leaders of the “free” world need to face a serious reflection on what is important because today we really only need special forces to remove undesirables and not create hate in countries already suffering. A smile, a tear, and a laugh are the true universal languages and we need more empathy for everyone to bring peace and care back to the world. Using women and children as human shields is what happens when an entire people hates an invader that has “rules and regulations”.
It isn't, but as the speaker had illustrated, it was easier to talk to people he didn't know than those he was close to. And talking truthfully about issues is part of accepting and understanding complex emotions.
I commented on the first video about all the props of applying VR to actual therapy, and I for sure will try to bring this option to the table once I graduate psychology (even if it means acquiring the VR stuff more than once). Some people could really benefit from a safe place detached from the "real world", and the ability to use a character has the same kind of effect, it would make it easier for some people to talk about hard stuff they couldn't on an actual eye-to-eye talk.
"It becomes a part of your norm, and you just got to weather the storm, and hope tomorrow is a better day". As a man with clinical depression, I feel that. It doesn't make the storm any easier, but it helps to be able to separate your thoughts during the storm from reality.
This is weirdly wholesome. Like this dude is talking about really heavy stuff and his own personal trauma but hes doing it in such a calm way, hes not asking people to pity him, hes not bawling his eyes out, hes just a dude talking about his life and his struggles and that's just kinda cool. I think there is sort of a stigma around asking people about their problems for fear of like offending them or saying something insensitive and it's really nice to see two people just having a serious talk without making it all doom and gloom, especially two dudes because we are especially bad at this sort of thing I think. Well thank you Struggle for talking about your life and letting us random strangers hear it
Different people react different ways. It’s ok for those that experience PTSD to cry also. Sometimes that’s what they need at the moment to acknowledge their feelings. I deployed twice to Iraq and keep telling myself that I’m incredibly glad I never experienced PTSD like many others I know do. I was very judgmental about those that took their own life before I deployed. I may not agree with it, but I at least understand why those service members consider it now, as much as I wish they wouldn’t.
he seems like a real fun and cool guy but when he started talking about the helman river valley mission you can tell it still hurts. And thats something hes never going to be able to forgive himself for. I realy respect him for being able to be so authentic and vulnerable.
I know you meant well with this comment, but just when other people read this, its completely ok to bawl you eyes out and make yourself vulnerable. If that's the only way you can express something then dont worry about being uncool while doing it
In my country at some regions there are parents that name their kids after medicines or give them famous actors names. I don't find it weird at all, just parents that don't think at all about it. And even sometimes the staff registering the name of the child ends up giving them the name because they often wrote it wrong because they don't know how the name is written. Even can be out of a whim, get confused, writing it on paper for them sometimes means nothing to them. Is not as common in these days, but it certainly still happening, and I can see him possibly having relatives named that way.
My great grandma would always tell me her stories as a small kid spending her childhood in fear during the norwegian campain during WW2. How she cried at night from all the gunshots to the artillery and air raids. It was during that time she got religious and started praying in her bed as gunshots could be heard just a few km from their house. Luckily her dad survived the conflict serving as a soldier and she moved here to Östergötland when my grandma was 5y old. She just turned 86 last week and as a gift I gave her a wooden replica of our church. Many jokes around that she's the only christian in an otherwise extremly atheist family tree, but I especilly came to respect and love her even more after hearing her stories of war and how kids like her coped with the missery. She is one of the happiest and liveliest people I know and I will be crying the day I look on her gravestone.
Hey Struggle, I can feel your pain. I was in the Egyptian army. I took part in two of the biggest uprisings in the middle east... EVERYONE were civilians. Neighbors, family, friends. I want to tell you something important. You had no choice. You did what was expected, you did what seemed right. I've been handling a lot of those issues for a long time. But at the end of the day what we did, what we had to do, saved this country from becoming another Afghanistan. My family is very rich, military service for us is a tradition, supposedly going back to Mamluk times. I had all the resources I need, access to therapists, imams, specialists, pretty much everyone in my family got PTSD too from past wars. They all always tell me the same thing: "You did what you had to do. There was no option to not do what you did. That you are alive today means that you did the right thing. If you had done the wrong thing, you would have been struck down by God, Man, or Nature. Such is the nature of these things." We're two different people, in two very different countries, far away from each other. But the blood we share is thicker than that of siblings. I will stay strong on my end. You stay strong on yours. People who go through what we did are the true hope for a future with no wars. God bless you and your journey.
Good, Lord.. Coming from wealth does NOT mean you were born with a superhuman mental-fortitude. Both Struggle and your story seem like too much to take on personally. I couldn't do what you've both done, let alone millions of other innocent lives. I hope you can both keep your heads held high and be proud of what you've both had to do with the situations you've been presented. I hope the both of you have long and beautiful lives.
That's not true anyone can join the military the only obstacle is passing a series of tests that are very basic I don't exactly know what makes us different because we signed a contract they made a call for people to come raise their hand to volunteer why we answered that call? I dont know, after that your life is on autopilot A to B to C then again and again, until you're injured no longer could do the job get in trouble and get kicked out or you reenlist the longer the mindset of a b c everything that goes in between that is what you'll be fighting for the rest of your life internally and physically military service makes you the person you are, instead of the person you thought you would be weather being successful or homeless, it will Define how your life is shaped after but whether success or failure after service there's always a piece that is missing from you that you'll never get back and you don't understand what it is because it can't be that Define
@@swaimdil wealth in non-western countries often comes with a metric shit ton of baggage, especially when it comes to maintaining tradition and honor. Not even a race thing, rich westerners are the only ones that afaik don't universally defy their kids desires in exchange for the honor they have cultivated for their family and the traditions that define what your family truly is. That means even if you are privileged, you still get saddled with shit sometimes. Granted less than poor people in the same place, but still to the level where it can seriously fuck you up, like PTSD through military service
Praise God. Jesus, who reigns, my Husband and Son of God, comes soon. USA(Babylon) will be invaded by Russia to the east and China to the west and will lose. NYC will be destroyed. Repent and focus on Jesus. Plead the blood of Jesus. Rapture is soon and the kingdom of God is near, so be holy. Obama is the antichrist and will use the rfid chip as mark of the beast with the False Prophet named Francis from Catholicism. There will be three days of darkness so please prepare as that will be when Jesus shall visit people. There will be fallen angels and giants and zombies and cyborgs and dinosaurs and persecution and many millions of deaths and disease like boils and tsunami to USA California and New Jersey and Florida and famine and fireball. Nuclear bombs shall strike. Canada and Europe and South America and asia shall also be affected with judgements. Time is short and Jesus is coming to collect a people without spot or blemish. Waters will turn to poison, The tribulation will be bad so enter rapture to escape. EMP coming to USA.All lives matter not just black lives. If you suffer from depression, anxiety, racing thoughts, mood swings, anorexia, suicide thoughts, loneliness, or have a disease, seek Jesus. Jesus can cure any disease. Husbands are head of the wives, husbands love wives and wives obey husband. Aliens are demons dont trust them. Osas is not always true. There will be a locust army that will wage war on humanity. Believe in faith to receive in prayer or you will not receive, those who exalt themselves shall be humbled but those who humble themselves shall be exalted first shall be last but last shall be first, seek Jesus and pray without ceasing, Keep 10 commandments even Sabbath, bless and not curse, repent of all sin, do unto others what you would want them to do unto you, harp music with praises to Jesus is biblical, read bible daily, cleanliness, no yoga or yoga pants, dont get COVID vaccine, love God, love others, avoid homosexuality, high heels, strife, sinful incest, guiding people into prostitution or lusting over nudity not married to you, Jehovah's Witness, witchcraft, sinful media like tv shows, unholy anime like death note and avatar last airbender and naruto and one piece and bleach, love of money, sex outside of biblical marriage, adultery, masturbation, porno/hentai, anal and oral sex and hand jobs, plastic surgery, football and idolizing football, merchants of the faith, addiction to facebook, sleeveless shirts and sinful shorts, sinful earrings and piercings, drunkenness, pride, smoking, gossip, lying,lacking faith, materialism, fictional books, dolls like dolls from Disney, no disney shows or movies, sinful movies like marvel, joking around, not loving God, unforgiveness, rap/music that doesn't glorify Jesus or God, cursing even parents, hate, suicide, videos games, trusting in self or humans over trusting in God and His Word, having any idol than Jesus, bikini and inappropriate clothing, sex with animals, arrogance, rebellion, Santa Claus, catholicism, 7th day adventist, lukewarmness, martial arts, freemasonry, energy drinks, skirts/dresses above the knee, tattoos, dying hair, star wars and the figures and movies and games, idolising sports and muscles and fitness and humans, abortion, islam, atheism, secularism, smoking cigarettes or marijuana or e cig, supporting or being a furry, orgies, swallowing semen, seeking the praises of men over God, burning government property sinfully, idolizing kpop stars or celebrities, hating God, dora the explora, cheating on your spouse with another person, bad thoughts like sexual thoughts and murdering thoughts, condoms, black goo, being rich in this life, loving this life, seeking popularity/ having favoritism/partiality,sex or lusting after animals or even children, racism, jehovah witness, mormonism, transgender, lies of evolution and big bang, flat earth, gambling, cheating or not paying on taxes when biblical required, mistreating orphans, bribes and taking bribes, leading at interest sinfully, murmuring, heresies, merciless, wrath, defamation, owing and being in debt, no affection, prosperity gospel, necromancy and mediums and astrology, hair extensions, God hates divorce, drinking human or animal blood, twilight book series, not helping the poor and needy and widows, not giving tithe (10% of income) and offerings, not being thankful to Jesus, not listening to parents, Halloween, 5g, avoid following other religion other than following Jesus Son of God. I am an unprofitable servant and least of everything by infinity. Best blessings to everyone every second forever by infinity God willing. Shalom aleichem.
struggle, that statement about "being inferior to their PTSD" really hit home. im active duty right now, and have done a combat deployment. I saw all kinds of shit but none of it ever really stuck with me that way because I wasn't the direct cause. but when I got home, I was the best man at a wedding and got drugged and raped by one of the bridesmaids. thats what ended up sticking. so its weird now getting treated for PTSD in the military, for something that isn't involving stacking bodies. your close about getting treatment though hit too. thanks for telling your story because I needed to hear it.
@@eileenisshadow5853 thanks. she is pretty awful but I sincerely hope whatever damage caused her to do it gets fixed, so this doesn't happen to anyone else
@@thegrayowl1557 thanks for the concern. treatment is helping alot and after months, im finally able to get restful sleep. I agree with what you said too. There is a stigma against male victims (example: how did it happen if your stronger/bigger? aren't you in the military, you could've beat her up. stuff like that) that people don't seem to realize, it can happen to anyone. To reply to that guy who deleted his comment, no. she was actually a very good looking girl. it had nothing to do with how she looks. im a happily married man to a stunningly beautiful and compassionate woman. It happened because of something commonly called date rape drugs. word of advice, you can be the biggest and strongest guy around, but drugs will still knock your ass down.
@@jamesfaulkner9403 Have you thought about reporting her to the police? Maybe then you'd be able to save some other men from going through the same experience
@@kaiwilson5218 I have thought about it. but I didnt want the legal strain when I'm about to get out of the military following me to wherever I go next. I get out in a couple months, and was told by the investigators from NCIS that it could take much longer than that. I didnt want to burden my wife anymore than this already has
@@stunningmean987technogamin6 I don’t know wether or not my joke is funny... every time I think of it I start to laugh, and then the realization hits me, and then I start to laugh... and then the realization hits me...
@@donalds4506 Really fucked up jokes are my favourite. Everybody hates us for laughing, but they can suck a mountain through a crack pipe and call me Billy.
I was deployed in 2010 to afghan. Was 0621 in an artillery unit. I still struggle a lot today, have my own set of issues. Sometimes I see these videos pop up and I can't help but watch. Seeing others talk about what they experienced helps me feel like I can open up. I used to drink a lot when I got back and realized it made me worse cause I'd get emotional and remember all the stuff and go into story mode. I was diagnosed by the va with ptsd but didn't enjoy taking meds so I weened off. Met an amazing lady had a son and he's the reason I'm still around. I don't like being alone because I'm afraid of my thoughts. I could keep rambling on but just wanna say I like watching these. Would like to do my own session one day. I feel like the longer I go without telling my story it builds up and than explodes when I do tell someone. And they get overwhelmed and prob don't like it to much lol.
It nearly stopped me from seeking help, feeling like I don't deserve the help, like there is someone out there who needs it more than me, took me a long time to realise that what I have gone through in the last 7 months is reasons for people to end up pretty messed up, and it's not even scratching the surface of the things I have lived through, you don't need to be military to end up in life threatening fucked up situations, the kind that stick with you for a long time. Even so, I still can't bring myself to believe that I am worth the help I need
@@CanuckBacon I was the same way, and then I became horrible with either oversharing or not saying anything when I should have because I just couldn't navigate it and I still go through a lot of that dysfunctionality that now I overthink it and get very stressed out whenever I talk about what happened so talking about it isn't that helpful for me (It doesn't help when you also have trust issues)
Its messed up that people see it that way. Reminds me of how addiction is measured, you don't need to be a homeless, prostitute crackhead to deserve rehabilitation. We all have varying degrees of problems. Just because someone may be "worse off" doesn't mean others suffering less don't deserve treatment and that applies to everything, mental health, family counseling, etc.
Can relate. Got ex military friends with ptsd that has messed them up pretty good. Hell, myself I was a hard opiate addict for years and suffered from some ptsd from events surrounding that are even hard for me to talk about and messed me up pretty good, but I definitely understand feeling like someone else deserves such help more sometimes. I'm sure I'm not alone on that either tho. Just goes to show reading other ppl's posts in here that we're all fuckin human and everyone deals with hard times in their lives.
Sucks his cousin decided to do that to him. One of my biggest pet peeves in life is to tell someone something in confidence and expect that person to keep that to themselves. When they take that incredibly painful info and throw it back in your face hurts so badly. That’s why I don’t tell anyone anything anymore. I understand exactly what he means. I’m glad he was able to forgive his cousin.. don’t think I would have been able to.
Yeah, I've stopped opening up to people about what's happened to me because it tends to blow up in my face. Can only think of one person I told that was actually supportive. People don't believe me, they mock me or they use it against me. Even counsellors are guilty as well so I do not open up to anyone anymore.
@@TheMadQueen96 Yeah I remember when I had something really shitty happen and broke down multiple times a day about it. Finally went to a counselor after being encouraged by tons of people and required too by my job and she just looked at me, literally crying in her chair, and said "well it can't be that bad". My dad's done shit like that too. Either they don't understand or they don't care, but those kind of people aren't ones you should care about either. I have an easier time now because I can tell everything to my girlfriend and she's always been supportive, but it's really hard to talk about certain shit with certain people. One of my best friends didn't believe something I told him before and stopped talking to me over it, so I know the feeling. I can say from experience that it hurts you more to keep it bottled inside though. You just have to find the right people
I was abused as a child, and would vent to my old friend group (who eventually conspired against me) and they, once they decided to berate and go against me, threw the trauma into my face as well as other trauma I experienced throughout my life. They boiled them down to: "You tell us dumb fucking sad stories that are nothing but your fault." Like yes, it is my fault that I was getting my head slammed off a sink by a 40 year old alcoholic when I was 13.
@@Pundae It's been this way for almost a decade now. I've given up on finding the "right people" It was the same with childhood stuff too. To this day nobody believes me about what happened, even people who were present for some of the stuff that went down.
"I didn't want to really wanna feel inferior to like their PTSD" Felt that a lot as a csa victim, i think we all go through the thought of comparing our traumas to eachother
When I was in inpatient it was really common to do that with other people who have gone through similar or different things. It feels fucking awful yet reassuring in a way
Do you know how revolutionary this VR doc stuff is? Like being able to document these experiences in this surreal cuddly space. It’s inspiring and this story made me emotional in a very deep level. The shit people have to go through because of some arbitrary chain of command and how they have to reconcile that in their day to day lives. This deserves more attention.
"The shit people have to go through because of some arbitrary chain of command" If you have buddies wondering what the military is like just tell them it's exactly like their current jobs - office politics, bullshit rules, policies and/or regulations, but instead now you have guns and you and your buddies' lives are on the line.
This brought up a good point regarding isolation and PTSD... What is happening to those who suffer from PTSD and are in lockdown? Forced to think about your life due to 3/4 of your social life being cut off? If you have a family member or friend that you know suffers from PTSD or PTSD like symptoms, please check up on them... You never know when that one text or phone call can save a life. Happy New Year.
I already isolated myself prior to the lockdowns. There’s been a long ongoing struggle with ptsd and suicide but I’m lucky enough to have been through years of therapy to help cope with recent events and manage myself and any dark thoughts pretty effectively. I know if I was ever in any danger alone that I’d be able to reach out to my support system and they’d come without any second thought. I can only hope other veterans and people with traumatic experiences have a strong system in place as well. I’ve lost five friends already, all of which might have been avoidable if someone had reached out and asked if they were okay. Keep a look out for your homies. Utilize the resources if you’re struggling. It’s okay to ask for help, it doesn’t make you weak. 1-800-273-8255 suicide prevention hotline
@@takanti yup, nail on the head. Most people I know, myself included, just retreated further into themselves before getting help. I tried to bury my problems under a mountain of drugs and alcohol and it just triggered more episodes. I'd get overly aggressive and violent and didn't want to be around friends and family when I was like that, so I dug a hole and hid in it. It sounds cliche, but it really is just like dumping gasoline on a fire trying to self-medicate. If you're struggling, don't go it alone. Everyone needs a little help sometimes and you're no less of a person for asking. It takes a lot of courage to admit something's broken and you need help fixing it.
Yeah, accurate as hell, only problem is I internalize and over analyze instead of lashing out because I'm scared of hurting people, I am more afraid of hurting people around me than I am of the nightmares and sometimes my day is the nightmare, but it's not scary it's just mind numbingly long and empty and I just can't let it go, and it doesn't end, that's what's scary, and every little thing causing my body to react and use up my empty adrenaline reserves just leaves me feeling worse and more tired, but when I'm not using up what little adrenaline reserves i have, i feel wrong, weird, something isn't right and I end up scaring myself back into that state of adrenal fatigue.
i've been doing somewhat alright, since most of my friendships and support system were already online, but i can't deny that it's been rough even so. best wishes and best of luck to everyone going through the same thing 💙💙💙
Hey Struggle, fellow GWOT vet here. Thanks for sharing your story. The stuff you talk about, like fearing your closest circle weaponizing your stories against you, it resonates super close. Thanks for putting yourself out there, man. I hope you're still keepin' on.
This is the the side of the military they don’t try to show you , glad to see him coping better, his Anakin model from the clone wars is sick love that show
Being active duty army myself, I have met people and seen people just like this guy. Suffering from mild PTSD myself and listening to him just saying the word "Trapped" really knocks it right on the head. Everyone handles it in their own way, no matter what they have seen or been through. I learned at behavioral health that "getting it out" to people you trust and are willing to listen to you explain what your feeling, Helps in tremendous ways. So from one soldier to another suffering with military related bullshit, I salute you because I found myself in the same situation 2 years ago and KUDOS to you Syrmor for listening to this guy tell his story, You probably have no idea how good of a service you did for this guy :)
I'm there right now my guy. Debating just taking a medical discharge because I hate what I'm fucking doing so much. BH offered one to me when I started hospital treatment
@@HazedVision Well it just sucks cuz I don't really have much else planned out. Like I could survive, and my fiance is military too so we'd still get benefits, and it'd be even easier to be with her if I wasn't in the military, but like I just still don't know if it's the right move
I'm not a veteran. But I was a victim of violent child abuse. Thank you for sharing you stories. Hearing someone speak the truth of there pain is inspiring. Thank you again Struggle ❤️
@@sevnesioran6193 that feeling of "someone is going to find out" either that my experiences are too awful for me to be a good person or not awful enough to qualify as PTSD...yeah that's something that happens but Struggle is the first one I've seen talk about that part of it
@@azoe6764 Perhaps the first is the case.. if you were diagnosed and it affects your life then, unfortunately, you qualify as having PTSD. Don't worry.. the lesser the better, don't ever think what you are going through isn't important. It always is, for you and the ones you love the most.
@@azoe6764 It's a thing. I was going to post my own experience in support, but then I thought, "My situation doesn't even compare. I'd get laughed at." The fact that I'm not suffering anymore seems proof enough of that. Realizing that circumstances were beyond my control helped me put it to rest quickly.
"Like a wounded animal lashing out" resonated with me, I've never been diagnosed with PTSD but after everything that had transpired for me in 2017, and how my brain biologically dealt with similar situations after the fact have hinted towards some sort of PTSD or psychological disorder and it definitely feels like a wounded animal lashing out, you find yourself in a similar situation and your brain replays that original scene in your head and it gets you going, your adrenaline surges and your body tenses up in a sort of pseudo fight or flight response, it can definitely make things worse at times. There are these old "boomer" era jokes where it's a family of 4 or whatever and both of the parents are just living day to day, trying to find that one thing to focus on to try to forget the life they live, we live in an era where the world itself is in our pockets and we can do whatever we need to distract ourselves but for people like myself, or struggle, who have been through these horrible things and have PTSD, or depression, or some kind of existentialism that eats away at the brain can't find an off switch that easily, finding this channel was a blessing, because it makes the world much brighter to know that you're not alone.
I really resonate with your response here. having PTSD is like a ticking time bomb in your nervous system. Like one day all is cool and you feel completely whole and then something happens even slightly related to your trauma even in some abstract way, and all of a sudden you are back to square 1 for a moment, or a day. even a week. and it can come so out of the blue too. to the point where you get so mad at your brain like It's MY brain where is the off switch? and for some people that is where it gets super scary. Some people hyper focus on that shit, thinking "Well I really feel like I'm going to Die tonight. I have somehow convinced myself in a matter of 2 seconds that I am not going to wake up. Because I'm broken, my head hurts, my heart keeps changing beats and I can't focus on anything. yes this means death." and let me say, that shit is a nightmare. Then to have people be so open about their ptsd or trauma, and so readily available makes things feel a lot better that hey, you aren't on your own in this. well done. it's nice.
What I love about these is that they don't feel like interviews. They feel more genuine, like people just sharing their stories freely without being discouraged by a camera or having their conversation "herded" by the interviewer. Awesome content.
His laugh is so lively. I love his laugh. You can tell it’s genuine joy, it’s contagious even. I admire that so much about him, even through his trauma he’s still able to find humor in things. Incredible man. Thank you for your service.
@@arielulloa4146 Wanna know what's also unacceptable, those terrorists at the building setting up the army folks and making those innocent bystanders hostage, if anything, the ones to blame are the terrorists, you clearly didn't watch the first part, watch it all before you judge his character. EDIT: Also he didn't know about the bystanders, before you say anything. That's pretty scummy to attack him with knowledge he didn't know at the time.
@@arielulloa4146 Successful countries have wars unfortunately. Be happy your country don't require to serve. People don't want to kill unless they have to.
I cannot express in enough words how much good work this channel does. Especially now, when it feels like humanity is a shitshow with no good ending, it has been paramount to show that every single person has a story to tell, and giving them a safe place to tell those stories is absolutely wonderful, thank you.
There's a second kind of PTSD. And tho they all deep down are about trauma. It's never going to be the same for everyone But i can definitely relate to this. Even though my trauma was a to long child hood
I've watched two of Struggle's interview videos thusfar, and this has resulted in me subscribing to this channel. There's something genuine about this process that feels unique and cathartic. To Struggle - While I've never served in the military, your description of the Helmand River Valley is a story like tempered steel. It has a raw quality to it of having been shaped by hammer and flames. I agree that it's not something to be proud of, but there's something special about how far you've come as a person in the telling. One step at a time, my man. Like the compassion of humanity that you mention, never forget that there are those in your life you can lean on. Finally, thank you for opening yourself up like this. To Syrmor - As I mentioned earlier, this format is unique and attractive. There's an absurdity in the presentation of VR chat that makes the interviews feel more genuine and special. What a wonderful way to weaponize the internet for compassion and shared stories. Kudos to you, and anyone else that works with you!
My dad's an army vet, and I have a degree in psychology (going into mental health and soon to be a teacher!) and Ive talked to him for hours about past deployments and how he's felt about it. We crack jokes and have fun talking about it, but I can see the way its messed him up. He has so many issues from being about, his back and his knees are giving out and is gonna need knee replacement surgery soon. He's watched his friends die out on tours, from cars being blown up and to his own car being blown up. I remember him joking about having to peel off his friends eyeball from the inside of a door and placing it into the guys front pocket, having to gather up the pieces of him. Or how he watched a truck full of guys get thrown into the air from a roadside bomb, having to tie off a guys leg to stop him from bleeding out. I see him laughing about friends and people that are no longer here, but beneath it all I see the fear. The fear that he's been in so many cases of near-death, from being one seat away from being brought home in pieces. In his last deployment, just before my 4th/5th birthday he wrote a letter for me and my mum. A letter that wouldve reached us if he had died that tour. He came home in one piece, alive and well, but we never saw those letters. He burned them and doesnt tell me nor anyone about what was in those letters. I cant help but get emotional at how many soldiers that come home mentally unwell with ptsd or other disorders. There are families missing thier fathers, husbands, wives, mothers, daughters and sons because they never made it home or they couldnt live with the aftermath of it all. I dread the day for my dad to be unable to laugh with me, for him to be a shell of who he used to be because the trauma finally caught up to him. I cant bear it.
My dad is a Vietnam War Vet. He was in the Korean Army "White Horse Division". The only story he told me when he was in the greens in Vietnam was a piece of his ear got cut off from the grenade shrapnel. But the good news is he had the piece of his ear kept safe and the medic was able to sew it back on. My dad was a reporter (I think). He had recorded the war on camera. So either was a reporter or just recording the happenings in Vietnam for some purpose. I remember he told one of a Vietnamese restaurant owner some stupid shit about him killing NVAs. Like beheading them and sticking it on top wood stake in a jokingly fashion. But that is rude and stupid to say it to a Vietnamese refugee. But other than that he never ever talks about the war, to me or to my brother and my mom. He keeps everything to himself. Either he is scared of talking about what he went through, or he is very selective on what subjects he wants to talk about. And oh yea, seems like my dad never gets PTSD. He gets very emotional at times, but he never acted out on anger and anxiety. It seems like he is mentally intact at times. But I am no expert on mental health.
Wonderful video. I really feel for this guy. I worked briefly at a VA and I know that many veterans really benefit from group sessions. They are very welcoming regardless of the experience folks go through. It seems to help a lot of people because you get to share your experience with people who can truly relate to what you went through.
I mean, it’s really Luke that turns Anakin/Darth Vader away from from the dark side, and one of the things that turned Anakin to the dark side in the first place was that he felt not only Obi-wan, but the entire Jedi Council didn’t trust him, as well as feeling that they were holding him back. So I guess I would say we all need a Luke, but idk.
@@donalds4506 Honestly if qui gon jin had trained anakin I doubt he would have turned. Obi won was not ready to take a padawan and they only formed a decent bond around the start of the second movie, when he was already much older. Anakin was constantly bullied and ostracized by other padawans and the council did nothing about it, and Obi won had no clue how to talk to him except to lecture him that his feelings were bad.
@StruggleGun Almost 4 years later now, and I just stumbled upon these two videos. Fellow army retired here, but no combat deployment, just support missions. A bunch of my buddies were in the box, both in Iraq and Afghanistan, some of them multiple tours. So your story is not unfamiliar. So glad to see you're in a better place, though I know your trauma will never fully leave you. Like you said, people can be incredibly compassionate, especially fellow vets. I hope you've continued to find lots of support and understanding. Just wanted you to know, someone heard your story and thought of you today. I hope you're living your best life. Cheers.
while you are right that everybody deserves some compassion and understanding, i think its fair if for personal reasons a member of their family doesnt want to support a person who killed innocent women and children, even if they feel bad about it now
@@MischieviousJirachi biased against a group of racists who want to attack my people and brainwash the youth of america to do the same? how couldnt i be. you dont know what we go through. i dont know how you could watch this video and still support the military, look at what theyve done to this person!! they manipulate the young men who dont know what to do with their lives into killing innocent women and children.
Struggle is one hell of a guy, I could listen to his stories for hours. It’s nice to hear he opened up and started talking about his issues more and that he’s getting help
you are the most underrated person in your life. don't take that as an ego boost. it's a compliment to your person, your character, and your emotions. thank you for what you share and what you do for others. yes, the person reading this. syr too, but this is my message from over the wide internet to you, individually. both of us are gonna go places if we put our hearts to it. happy 2021 guys
Hey Struggle, not sure if you’ll read this but your story is truly inspiring and I hope you know that I and millions of other Americans are extremely grateful for your service. Watching your previous interview, I found it interesting that you went to Hurlbert Field; My dad became a Chief MS at Hurlbert before retiring after 30 years. You have truly gone through a lot, much more than I would ever know but one thing I can say is to keep moving forward if it’s just one day at a time. The past is in the past, it is extremely important to honor, remember, and learn from our pasts, but to keep moving and focus on the present just one day at a time. Thank you for your service Struggle
This channel is one of the most unique “experiences “ on UA-cam, because with every video you watch it seems to open your mind a little bit more to other people’s real life experiences and what others have to go through on a day to day basis. I have the upmost respect for this channel and wish it the best for the future.
To stumble across something as wonderful and compassionat as this channel is something that I will never take for granted. This man is doing something so simple,he let's these people speak their stories because sometimes all you need someone who is there to listen. Someone who you can express to in fullest extent what happened and what you were feeling in that moment or before that moment or even years after that moment
I used to play with a guy that sounded exactly like this man and he was in the military and he used to talk to me about his struggles and I did my best to understand it but I didn’t know what to say or do
The fact he uses anakin(a man who killed men women and children and embraced the dark parts of life because the corruption of the government that he knew was not strong enough) thats what hits me soldiers these days view themselfs as villans or part of a evil empire .. shit is sad
Listen up folks, im at the 2:50 marker in the video and I feel what he is saying is important. He's talking about how he didn't want to open up and talk about his military experience, for fear of losing his family and those around him. HEAR ME NOW... I did lose my family and everyone around me after sharing my stories when I got back. No one wants to or is capable of hearing this stuff.. THIS ISNT HOW IT SHOULD BE. IT SHOULD BE WELCOMED TO SHARE EXPERIENCES, TOO HELP OTHERS THROUGH IT. WE KNOW ITS ALOT TO DEAL WITH, WE HAVE TO FUCKING DEAL WITH IT. BUT WE NEED A SAFE SUPPORT SYSTEM IN FRIENDS AND FAMILY AND COMMUNITY TO BE ABLE TO SAFELY EXPRESS ALL THE ANGER AND HATE AND GUILT AND EXCITEMENT AND ALL THE OTHER FEELINGS WE FEEL AFTER COMING BACK FROM A FUCKED UP WARZONE, KILLING PEOPLE, LOSING FRIENDS, LOSING BODY PARTS. I personally deployed in 2011 to Kandahar Province, Kandalay Village, the actual village the Taliban was created in. Before we deployed, they showed our unit pictures of the town, from when the Russians where in there, and they showed us one of the Afghans standing in front of a captured Russian Tank with the Crew hung from the cannon, and they told us "Ok guys, that's gunna be your home for the next 12 months, good luck and Godspeed." It turned out to be the wild west. And mind you, 2011 was the year we pushed over into Pakistan and killed Bin Laden. Quick story on that actually, I remember hearing the news that the SEALs killed him, during March or May, one of the M months, and I looked at my Sgt and was like "So, we going home now?" He turned and looked at me and laughed "Fuuuuck no. That's not why we are here."
Wow thats crazy. Thank you for sharing your story and thank you for your service. I agree with you that its important as family and friends to be there for people we care about, even if its hard for us to deal with it must be 2x as bad for them
Tomorrow is my birthday and I'm finally going to a therapist for the first time since I tried to off myself back in 2019. I have to be up in 6 hours and I can't fucking sleep. I try telling myself that I'm alive because I don't want to die but honestly I know I'm only going through the motions because I don't want to put my friends and family through the same pain that I feel constantly. Idk why I'm even writing this. I just cant sleep.
Hang in there, I was told to perpetually survive the next ten minutes and as desperate as that sounds, it helped. Please hang in there. Small pleasures. Whatever it takes. I am over 4 years since I was brought in for help. Life has gotten so much better and more tolerable. I know you posted this days ago, and I'm sorry for replying late.
That’s how it be. It’s really fucking hard to go through the motions and it’s even harder to get better for yourself. Something that helped me is try to do better for your loved ones. Because if you don’t want to do it for yourself you won’t. And keep working for them and eventually you WILL do it for your self. Life really fucking sucks but it can get better. You may or may not read this but STAY STRONG. It’s really fucking hard but savor those moments where it all feels alright, cause those moments are what makes living worth it. Keep moving, and take care. Have a good day sir :)
There’s nothing more painful than the feeling of shivering numbness in your bones. Set a goal Dylan. Force yourself to go outside and talk to strangers. Make memories. Be selfish about your life. Show kindness and let their smiles fuel yours. Hope you’re doing ok man
We need more of this guy. I could seriously listen to him all day man. Sounds like such a cool dude and you letting him talk on here is most definitely helping him as well. Talking to someone no matter what your through always helps.
I know the military does say they support soldiers getting help. But I can tell you. I had a crisis mid term, and I bought the bullshit then went and got help. Well it did help me...it bit me careerwise so yeah...the military breeds that.
@McGinnis 34 I lost my gun rights for seeking help a few years ago. Not to mention how expensive it is to seek professional help. The system is terrible and almost forces you to deal with things on your own. If you seek help it feels like you’re being punished for doing so. Locked in a mental ward, gun rights taken, treated like some psycho by people who find out. It’s awful
It really upsets me when people try to use information you did not have at the time to attack your actions. From your explanation, you didn't know about the civilians and there was no reasonable way for you to have known about them. In my mind those casualties aren't at all on you. The people who chose to fight there despite knowing how close they were to civilians are the ones that are responsible. They had the opportunity to clear out the area and didn't. In the moment, you never have complete information. Actions should be judged on information that was known at the time.
It is common for them to use civilians as shield to protect themselves against attack like this, it is common tactic. Even if you knew civilians are there you would probably do same thing that is war.
@@MarkoLomovic Nah, I'm not in the military but I know that civilian lives take top priority. There is no chance that they would open fire on a building if they had info about civilians in the area. This was just unfortunate that the Taliban were willing to risk the lives of innocents to protect themselves
@bangythebrav Yeah, I've seen this disconnect between info available, viewpoints, and judgment work several ways. Publicly, some politicians/pundits use the "you haven't been there so you don't have a right to debate it" card to push for an agenda that perpetuates the conflict. I feel like all I can say is that I am critical of the political and policy decisions that created our messes, but I support the commanders and soldiers who do their professional best in hard/impossible non-ideal situations. When the military does find or reveal failures in judgment or behavior, I see and hear about a mix of visible (for PR reasons?) measures to address the problem, as well as cover-ups to make problems quietly go away without addressing their causes. So I default to wanting to believe in their professionalism b/c I'm just a civilian, but I also want to know that the military's own oversight departments/committees are sufficiently empowered to police itself. I know from business management that organizational cultures (corporate, in my experience, but definitely just as true of military depts as well) have a tendency to protect themselves from and ignore problems they don't want to deal with, creating systemic/institutional issues that sometimes blow up later down the road. On a more personal level, I have a friend (Marines) who acted like he was blowing off a similar incident by saying that it was a bad situation, but better them than him and some much less pleasant things (along the lines that it'd be better to turn the desert to glass). I'm pretty sure he's actually capable of empathy b/c I can hear and see how much his commanding officer's death affected him, and what he did to help his CO's family. I can only assume he was coping with some kind of "fake it till you make it" and/or tough guy thinking to avoid taking too much of the impact onboard at once. Another friend of mine (Marines, some kind of recon?) said yeah it sucks, it happens despite what you do to minimize collateral damage, it's not on you, but you have to stop short of passing it off as "well they deserved it" or similar to the glass desert comment. B/c if you get too used to thinking the latter, it further dehumanizes noncombatants who don't deserve it. Imperfectly, if that's what it takes to protect yourself, help you move on, then it works. But also have to be mindful of what that kind of negative coping can itself do to you. Sorry if that may have been a bit disjointed. I think the contradictions I heard in their conversations mean that there is a difficult tightrope balance between distancing yourself enough to minimize your own trauma, and overcompensating so much that you end up becoming a hate-filled person just b/c you were trying to protect yourself. And avoiding judgment (of the self, of hearing someone dealing with it, etc.) for lack of info or understanding is key.
@@dakaodo I think I get what you're trying to say. I'm not trying to say that the civilians deserved it or there was no mistake made. I'm trying to say that when presented with a situation and limited resources, you have to do what makes the most sense with what you have. I would value the certainty of saving the pinned down soldiers to the risk of potential civilian casualties. I think it is the people who prepare the field who are responsible for the risk of the civilians in the area. The mistake if any on the american side of things I think rests at the feet of those that created or allowed the situation to happen. They didn't have any middle ground or recourse to support the soldiers other than the gunship. Gunships I don't think can do anything less than significant damage to a whole building. They weren't given the tools needed to ideally address the situation that happened. At the same time, don't wipe out an entire village because a few guys set up in one building. If you know there are civilians in the building, it becomes a harder question in my mind. It is similar to the classic trolley problem. The difference is though that you don't know if anyone or how many would be hurt if you flip the switch to save the ones you can for sure see.
@@wumbosaurus9121 Dude you need reality check I can tell you as someone who got bombed by US first hand. in 1999 US bombed the shit out of many civilian targets here in Serbia and not even hospitals were of the limits. They pretty much dumped their expired armament because it was cheaper. If that doesn't tell you how much they care about civilian life I don't know what will. Now imagine what goes on in full on war like iraq where it is impossible to track war crimes.
@@blckkeef Not humor, but as someone else noted in the comments, his choice to depict himself as Anakin likely was an intentional one as he may identify with the character
This is pretty much hitting the nail on the head on the the whole ptsd thing cause I also suffer from ptsd and from the experience that I had my entire outlook and interactions with people completely changed and this interview is great and he seems like a genuine person who really has a lot going on and he is a trooper props to him
Godspeed Struggle, thank you for saying the things most of us aren't strong enough to say about our PTSD. Hearing someone else say it helps figure out how I feel about it. Thank you.
Insomnia and restlessness means ADHD could be an option. Do you always have insomnia? Or if you stay up really late, are you able to fall asleep easily? ADHD can cause something called delayed sleep phase, where you don't get naturally tired until way later than most people. I thought I was a mild insomniac for years until I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 28. Obviously you can also just have insomnia, but if you also struggle with doing things on time, forgetting things like appointments, constantly misplacing things like wallet/keys, it may be worth it to get checked for ADHD. I always thought ADHD just meant you couldn't pay attention in school/work, but there's way more to it than that. Either way good luck in your journey.
These videos are very impactful. I admire his bravery for talking about a very tough time in his life. This video will undoubtedly help others through their struggles with PTSD. I hope the person in the video realizes that moment will not define him. I hope he continues to get the support he needs and I thank him for sharing his story.
i really like how their videos are cut- its so to the point. like, instead of a ton of questions and interruptions and hyperactivity, its actually just hearing the person talk. its nice. i mean, its also really sad... but, i enjoy hearing about other peoples experience on this crazy planet where reality is subjective for all of us... anyway, this was really emotional. i saw the first one too. really made me feel some stuff.
Thank you for this video & thank you for listening to his story.. I’m diagnosed also with PTSD and recently lashed out on someone and felt really bad about it... it was nice hearing someone else’s perspective going through PTSD 🤍
Perfect description of PTSD. It broke my heart when he said the regret and guilt wouldn't go away. I have PTSD from being sexually assaulted and I never thought about how much worse it would be to have PTSD from doing something fucked up as opposed to having something fucked up done to me.
I've found that a lot of people currently/formerly in the military, in combat roles, display an incredible amount of self-awareness, and are very articulate in describing their experiences and their outlook on life in general. I think that our enlisted members of the military are consistently misbranded as dumb, brutish 'grunts', but my experience with them has been anything but that; at least not with people who have seen combat.
This channel is brilliant. I have ptsd but wasn’t in the military. I can relate to feeling like you haven’t seen it as bad as others. It really helps to hear that others can relate! 👋😎
You’ve got something good here, interviewing vets behind a veil of anonymity, you should continue this series with other vets if you can. It’s therapeutic for the vet and eye opening for civilians.
He seems like a really genuine person.
Imma keep the likes on this at 💯.
I mean i guess he is a person
Was thinking the same
his youtube channel is called BadOmen
Edit: He has changed his channel name to Struggle
Because he's in a good mood we don't know how often that happens
Him having an Anakin skin just elevates this in a really weird interesting way.
Right? When he said women and children.. Thats some darrrrk humour.
Didn't know that until now, but I thought his voice fit the vr model really well.
@@l3x1c0n1c Who’s to say whether it’s supposed to be humorous?
@@mrrec0very956 no one knows but him tbh. The military breeds dark humor though.
Yeah wouldnt be suprised if the anikin skin was deliberate
“ I felt inferior to their PTSD” damn that one hit home. But you gotta remember man it’s not a competition we all fight our demons how we can and none of that should matter just that you can overcome or help yourself in any way.
@M R same
Felt the same way, things affect people differently but can have a lasting affect for good when hearing someone else talk about their issues.
It's our ego that makes us feel that way. Even if someone try to make your trauma inferior, always remember that they don't have the power to make you feel anything, only you do.
I haven’t a clue where I heard it, but I remember hearing “Pain isn’t a pissing competition” one time and it’s never left me. I want Struggles to know that, everybody suffers from the cards their dealt, in different ways so theirs no need to compare wounds that are physical, mental, or emotional.
Air Assault!
"...I didn't want to really wanna feel inferior to like their PTSD." Shit. I feel that in my fucking bones.
I ended up in a mental ward due to stress at some point, and there were people there that had lost jobs, families, saw shit, could barely function, and I felt like garbage because of how much worse they had it
Praise God. Jesus, who reigns, my Husband and Son of God, comes soon. USA(Babylon) will be invaded by Russia to the east and China to the west and will lose. NYC will be destroyed. Repent and focus on Jesus. Plead the blood of Jesus. Rapture is soon and the kingdom of God is near, so be holy. Obama is the antichrist and will use the rfid chip as mark of the beast with the False Prophet named Francis from Catholicism. There will be three days of darkness so please prepare as that will be when Jesus shall visit people. There will be fallen angels and giants and zombies and cyborgs and dinosaurs and persecution and many millions of deaths and disease like boils and tsunami to USA California and New Jersey and Florida and famine and fireball. Nuclear bombs shall strike. Canada and Europe and South America and asia shall also be affected with judgements. Time is short and Jesus is coming to collect a people without spot or blemish. Waters will turn to poison, The tribulation will be bad so enter rapture to escape. EMP coming to USA.All lives matter not just black lives. If you suffer from depression, anxiety, racing thoughts, mood swings, anorexia, suicide thoughts, loneliness, or have a disease, seek Jesus. Jesus can cure any disease. Husbands are head of the wives, husbands love wives and wives obey husband. Aliens are demons dont trust them. Osas is not always true. There will be a locust army that will wage war on humanity. Believe in faith to receive in prayer or you will not receive, those who exalt themselves shall be humbled but those who humble themselves shall be exalted first shall be last but last shall be first, seek Jesus and pray without ceasing, Keep 10 commandments even Sabbath, bless and not curse, repent of all sin, do unto others what you would want them to do unto you, harp music with praises to Jesus is biblical, read bible daily, cleanliness, no yoga or yoga pants, dont get COVID vaccine, love God, love others, avoid homosexuality, high heels, strife, sinful incest, guiding people into prostitution or lusting over nudity not married to you, Jehovah's Witness, witchcraft, sinful media like tv shows, unholy anime like death note and avatar last airbender and naruto and one piece and bleach, love of money, sex outside of biblical marriage, adultery, masturbation, porno/hentai, anal and oral sex and hand jobs, plastic surgery, football and idolizing football, merchants of the faith, addiction to facebook, sleeveless shirts and sinful shorts, sinful earrings and piercings, drunkenness, pride, smoking, gossip, lying,lacking faith, materialism, fictional books, dolls like dolls from Disney, no disney shows or movies, sinful movies like marvel, joking around, not loving God, unforgiveness, rap/music that doesn't glorify Jesus or God, cursing even parents, hate, suicide, videos games, trusting in self or humans over trusting in God and His Word, having any idol than Jesus, bikini and inappropriate clothing, sex with animals, arrogance, rebellion, Santa Claus, catholicism, 7th day adventist, lukewarmness, martial arts, freemasonry, energy drinks, skirts/dresses above the knee, tattoos, dying hair, star wars and the figures and movies and games, idolising sports and muscles and fitness and humans, abortion, islam, atheism, secularism, smoking cigarettes or marijuana or e cig, supporting or being a furry, orgies, swallowing semen, seeking the praises of men over God, burning government property sinfully, idolizing kpop stars or celebrities, hating God, dora the explora, cheating on your spouse with another person, bad thoughts like sexual thoughts and murdering thoughts, condoms, black goo, being rich in this life, loving this life, seeking popularity/ having favoritism/partiality,sex or lusting after animals or even children, racism, jehovah witness, mormonism, transgender, lies of evolution and big bang, flat earth, gambling, cheating or not paying on taxes when biblical required, mistreating orphans, bribes and taking bribes, leading at interest sinfully, murmuring, heresies, merciless, wrath, defamation, owing and being in debt, no affection, prosperity gospel, necromancy and mediums and astrology, hair extensions, God hates divorce, drinking human or animal blood, twilight book series, not helping the poor and needy and widows, not giving tithe (10% of income) and offerings, not being thankful to Jesus, not listening to parents, Halloween, 5g, avoid following other religion other than following Jesus Son of God. I am an unprofitable servant and least of everything by infinity. Best blessings to everyone every second forever by infinity God willing. Shalom aleichem.
@@davidpadilla1354 please take your savior complex out of this serious discussion
@@davidpadilla1354 What kind of word soup did I just get waterboarded with lmao
I’ve had this problem before with my illness, thinking myself inferior to others with it, because their experiences were so much more traumatizing than mine.
"oh man I had to kill people on Christmas, that's not merry". It's not funny, but the delivery was very funny
I would disagree. I think the irony and juxtaposition is funny. The facts are tragic still and I wish we would choose to evolve sooner. too much pain in the world.
Got to have a sense of humor about shit or it will eat you
Well comedy is Tragedy + Time so.
Better to find it funny than to find it tragic am i right?
Cause laughing is fun but feeling sad is not, so why not laugh when ever possible, i say
@@spartanwar1185 cuz sometimes, laughing at everything bad prevents you from facing the issues in your life and solving them, leading to a your life gradually worsening over time as existing issues get bigger and invite new ones to appear
I would know, self-deprecation and escapism are my main defense mechanisms
I really want more stories from Struggle. His voice and his ability to tell stories is so comforting. The craziest thing about this is that it’s in a completely fictional VR game and this man is dressed as Anakin skywalker, and yet for some reason I feel like I can connect to him and his entire personality
I know right...it was very surprising.
I think that's the power of body language being expressed clearly through VR movement, which for me is super impressive from a technological aspect.
I mean, you can do that from just his voice, that's not oarticularly weird lol
Struggles should become an narrator, or voice actor. He's really amazing at telling stories, very captivating.
I 2nd this.
I got Star Lord vibes, for real.
his voice is amazing.
He's definitely got that "dashing rogue" type of voice
Probably because hes replayed thosr experiences countless times in his head.
I got out in 2020, I did four years in army special operations, lost a marriage post military, struggled with most vet things, but for some reason I stumbled upon some dudes talking about shit in VR, and it’s been the most therapeutic thing I’ve discovered yet.
as much as I'm happy for you it's really sad you had to get that from here. best of luck mate.
Is it? I get out soon and it's not so much PTSD from deployments/etc, it's more so just being around 'those' kind of people. I know it's different on the outside, and I am seriously going to miss these people and the way we interact. I just can't take it anymore
Idk you but I appreciate you
thank you for your service. i hope things start going your way soon
Next to shrooms and lsd and weed ya lmao
My partner has tried to explain to me how she is after her parents abused her, and she used pretty much the same descriptive words as this guy, when describing PTSD at the start.
Yep. I was diagnosed with PTSD at 10 years old. My mom was physically and verbally abusive. I'm in my mid-30s now, still dealing with it.
Yeah, this is night and day though, as the soldier murdered innocent people. Your partner is an actual victim. Trying to equate a soldier who invades a foreign country and kills innocents to victimhood is some next level hero worship and it's disturbing.
@@Petey0707 the solider who is ordered to kill people and listen to the sound of bullets of which any could kill them at any moment and watch their companions literally get their head blown off right next to them, and suffer nightmares for the rest of their life, is not the same person giving the orders who never has to be there. These men wake up screaming in the middle of the night for the rest of their lives. A lot of them commit suicide. People enlist in the army because someone has to, and then they're at the whim of the maniacs in power. You really have it all wrong.
@@grandolddrummer yea its the same thing. how are you not ashamed to tell that on this particular video il never understand. the men of your generation are an embarasment. man... y our grandchildren are gonna spit on your grave for the world you ppl leave behind
Yeah hearing him struggle for the words. I know that feeling. It's like the gears are sticking. I always just end up saying it's "weird" or something when I'm trying to describe the feeling I'm having. Feeling trapped is one way to put it, I agree with him on that. Like being trapped in existence. In an eternal prison that you'll never escape forever. Some days I feel normal, and then other days I fall apart. My partner is pretty understanding and listens to me sometimes for hours trying to explain. Like if I could just put it into words then it would stop. But I can't find the words, if they even exist.
Struggle, if you're reading this, You're doing great buddy. You have 2300 people rooting for you when the video hasn't even been out 10 minutes.
Thank you, Kyle. That means a lot. I hope you have a good night, and a great New Year!
@@StruggleGun Happy New Year, I have a question kyle, what was the size and girth of the male genitals in the military, and was there two people in the VR chat game? Or is it just you and Symour
@@StruggleGun Hey man, I'm glad you exist. Hope you have a good year too.
@@meehh2439 what the fuck was this question-
@@antoka5375 Im just wondering how the video was made, before i realized that there is actually three people in the lobby in total
A guy whose avatar is an anime cat, interviews a soldier who’s avatar is from a children’s cartoon, as he opens up about his real life experiences with war as they both pretend to be camping. The interview is way more real than anything I’ve seen on an actual media site.
What a time to be alive
Exactly
Simulation upon simulation...
Moon... pies
Seriously, though, this video was sweet as hell and I hope he has peace and stay in a good place.
Well worded. Yeah I think there's something about the feeling of being behind an avatar that helps people be more vulnerable and candid. Something about it lends a very (and somewhat ironically) human depth to the discussion. It's like it gives us all the most intangible raw emotional aspects of a person while stripping away all other distractions and biases.
Ehhhh. Not really a Children’s cartoon.
My father had PTSD and severe untreated TBI because the Army and VA did not care. This led to him committing suicide and me having to pick a phone up off his chest and tell my mother he was dead. Please talk to someone about your feelings so your family does not have to go what we went through.
Damn bro. I'm sorry
I'm So Sorry For Your Loss I Know Your Words Will Have An Impact For The Positive
I am genuinely sorry for your loss. My deepest condolences
@@SolarPodcast The ignorance of that statement is astounding. That aside, to come here and insult someone in such a way when you could have easily kept scrolling and ignored it is just spreading misery for no reason.
If you're depressed, get help and/or talk to someone. Don't drag others down with you.
Atheists like you make the rest of us look bad.
The problem is, when I talk, no one listens.
These conversations need to be heard by a much larger audience, veterans and civilians all could benefit from this type of therapy.
If you found this interesting. There’s a few videos on the VetTv UA-cam channel where Donny sits down with a psychologist who specializes on working with veterans and people with PTSD. Honestly some of the best videos I’ve seen. Very insightful. Really helpful to me personally actually.
Put these VR chats on TED talks lol
I can listen to these stories all day. I have heard many, I’ve known many vets. I understand almost every aspect of war and hardship without living it myself. The question that people need to be asking is “Is this necessary?” I guarantee the people at the top sold their empathy and soul for power, money, and whatever else. No one person is “disposable” and everyone thrown into war faces something mentally destabilizing or physically debilitating. This kid served and still felt a moment where his own humanity was brought into question. I believe no one deserves to question their humanity if they are decent people. The United States hasn’t been in a real war since WW2 because none of the others were “necessary”. The survival of the country was not brought into question. Struggle paid his dues, suffered, and is rising from the ashes and will move forward in his life with a stronger understanding of “what it means to be human”. I’m proud and grateful for his service to both us during service and himself post service. Really think the leaders of the “free” world need to face a serious reflection on what is important because today we really only need special forces to remove undesirables and not create hate in countries already suffering. A smile, a tear, and a laugh are the true universal languages and we need more empathy for everyone to bring peace and care back to the world. Using women and children as human shields is what happens when an entire people hates an invader that has “rules and regulations”.
Talking to strangers isn't therapy
It isn't, but as the speaker had illustrated, it was easier to talk to people he didn't know than those he was close to. And talking truthfully about issues is part of accepting and understanding complex emotions.
Vr chat support groups would make venting easier, new idea possibly
If only VR wasn’t *relatively* expensive
I heard someone talk about it, ik some people were doing it with fortnite
Always gonna be them trolls though
I commented on the first video about all the props of applying VR to actual therapy, and I for sure will try to bring this option to the table once I graduate psychology (even if it means acquiring the VR stuff more than once). Some people could really benefit from a safe place detached from the "real world", and the ability to use a character has the same kind of effect, it would make it easier for some people to talk about hard stuff they couldn't on an actual eye-to-eye talk.
Fricken great idea. Hopefully the cost barrier can be brought down 😞
"It becomes a part of your norm, and you just got to weather the storm, and hope tomorrow is a better day".
As a man with clinical depression, I feel that. It doesn't make the storm any easier, but it helps to be able to separate your thoughts during the storm from reality.
@@SolarPodcast Sorry, but that kind of advice doesn't work, Sir. It's not always black and white.
Hope you are doing ok brother
The rain claquety is soothing I tell myself
@strikermodel We hear you brother. Hope you're coping better these days.
I really like his genuine personality and self-awareness.
my thoughts also
The thing that really sucks is that this self-awareness is almost exclusively hindsight.
Getting good therapy does that.
@@VTorb 💯
@@danceswithdirt7197 I agree.
“Just go into the military, that’ll cure you.”
No shit that’s how I got over a nasty opioid addiction. Straight up.
Glad for you bro
@@Vuohipukki thanks man. Two weeks in hell takes on a whole new meaning when you’re detoxing lol
@@alhassirakhdugani5813
Someone told you it was going to suck and you said and you just fuckin.. "hmm, not hard enough" *starts shooting up*
@@davidpadilla1354 God bless you, sir
@@davidpadilla1354 Bruh, what’s wrong with Avatar the Last Airbender?
This is weirdly wholesome. Like this dude is talking about really heavy stuff and his own personal trauma but hes doing it in such a calm way, hes not asking people to pity him, hes not bawling his eyes out, hes just a dude talking about his life and his struggles and that's just kinda cool. I think there is sort of a stigma around asking people about their problems for fear of like offending them or saying something insensitive and it's really nice to see two people just having a serious talk without making it all doom and gloom, especially two dudes because we are especially bad at this sort of thing I think.
Well thank you Struggle for talking about your life and letting us random strangers hear it
Different people react different ways. It’s ok for those that experience PTSD to cry also. Sometimes that’s what they need at the moment to acknowledge their feelings.
I deployed twice to Iraq and keep telling myself that I’m incredibly glad I never experienced PTSD like many others I know do. I was very judgmental about those that took their own life before I deployed. I may not agree with it, but I at least understand why those service members consider it now, as much as I wish they wouldn’t.
he seems like a real fun and cool guy but when he started talking about the helman river valley mission you can tell it still hurts. And thats something hes never going to be able to forgive himself for. I realy respect him for being able to be so authentic and vulnerable.
You're describing how most men deal with hard/traumatizing situations
I know you meant well with this comment, but just when other people read this, its completely ok to bawl you eyes out and make yourself vulnerable. If that's the only way you can express something then dont worry about being uncool while doing it
Pretty weird your cousin and friend have swear words for names bro
Meet my friend, Shit, and my cousin, Fuck.
Hajaha
@@VTXHobbies they both smell weird
Richard, and Dick.
In my country at some regions there are parents that name their kids after medicines or give them famous actors names. I don't find it weird at all, just parents that don't think at all about it. And even sometimes the staff registering the name of the child ends up giving them the name because they often wrote it wrong because they don't know how the name is written. Even can be out of a whim, get confused, writing it on paper for them sometimes means nothing to them. Is not as common in these days, but it certainly still happening, and I can see him possibly having relatives named that way.
I like how they bleep out the names and do four asterisks so it sound like he’s saying my cousin fuck
lol
My buddy SHIT
Might as well be called that after what he said
My great grandma would always tell me her stories as a small kid spending her childhood in fear during the norwegian campain during WW2.
How she cried at night from all the gunshots to the artillery and air raids. It was during that time she got religious and started praying in her bed as gunshots could be heard just a few km from their house.
Luckily her dad survived the conflict serving as a soldier and she moved here to Östergötland when my grandma was 5y old.
She just turned 86 last week and as a gift I gave her a wooden replica of our church.
Many jokes around that she's the only christian in an otherwise extremly atheist family tree, but I especilly came to respect and love her even more after hearing her stories of war and how kids like her coped with the missery.
She is one of the happiest and liveliest people I know and I will be crying the day I look on her gravestone.
Wish you and your family all the best
@@decode9160 same
Thank you for sharing. I'm from Östergötland as well. Wishing you all the best.
Good story and thanks for sharing.
Damn, I catched tears in my darn eyes from that one.
Hey Struggle, I can feel your pain. I was in the Egyptian army. I took part in two of the biggest uprisings in the middle east... EVERYONE were civilians. Neighbors, family, friends. I want to tell you something important. You had no choice. You did what was expected, you did what seemed right.
I've been handling a lot of those issues for a long time. But at the end of the day what we did, what we had to do, saved this country from becoming another Afghanistan. My family is very rich, military service for us is a tradition, supposedly going back to Mamluk times. I had all the resources I need, access to therapists, imams, specialists, pretty much everyone in my family got PTSD too from past wars. They all always tell me the same thing:
"You did what you had to do. There was no option to not do what you did. That you are alive today means that you did the right thing. If you had done the wrong thing, you would have been struck down by God, Man, or Nature. Such is the nature of these things."
We're two different people, in two very different countries, far away from each other. But the blood we share is thicker than that of siblings. I will stay strong on my end. You stay strong on yours. People who go through what we did are the true hope for a future with no wars. God bless you and your journey.
Good, Lord.. Coming from wealth does NOT mean you were born with a superhuman mental-fortitude. Both Struggle and your story seem like too much to take on personally. I couldn't do what you've both done, let alone millions of other innocent lives. I hope you can both keep your heads held high and be proud of what you've both had to do with the situations you've been presented. I hope the both of you have long and beautiful lives.
That's not true anyone can join the military the only obstacle is passing a series of tests that are very basic I don't exactly know what makes us different because we signed a contract they made a call for people to come raise their hand to volunteer why we answered that call? I dont know, after that your life is on autopilot A to B to C then again and again, until you're injured no longer could do the job get in trouble and get kicked out or you reenlist the longer the mindset of a b c everything that goes in between that is what you'll be fighting for the rest of your life internally and physically military service makes you the person you are, instead of the person you thought you would be weather being successful or homeless, it will Define how your life is shaped after but whether success or failure after service there's always a piece that is missing from you that you'll never get back and you don't understand what it is because it can't be that Define
@@swaimdil wealth in non-western countries often comes with a metric shit ton of baggage, especially when it comes to maintaining tradition and honor. Not even a race thing, rich westerners are the only ones that afaik don't universally defy their kids desires in exchange for the honor they have cultivated for their family and the traditions that define what your family truly is. That means even if you are privileged, you still get saddled with shit sometimes. Granted less than poor people in the same place, but still to the level where it can seriously fuck you up, like PTSD through military service
Joe The Amazing Camel this was loving and moving to read, thank you.
Praise God. Jesus, who reigns, my Husband and Son of God, comes soon. USA(Babylon) will be invaded by Russia to the east and China to the west and will lose. NYC will be destroyed. Repent and focus on Jesus. Plead the blood of Jesus. Rapture is soon and the kingdom of God is near, so be holy. Obama is the antichrist and will use the rfid chip as mark of the beast with the False Prophet named Francis from Catholicism. There will be three days of darkness so please prepare as that will be when Jesus shall visit people. There will be fallen angels and giants and zombies and cyborgs and dinosaurs and persecution and many millions of deaths and disease like boils and tsunami to USA California and New Jersey and Florida and famine and fireball. Nuclear bombs shall strike. Canada and Europe and South America and asia shall also be affected with judgements. Time is short and Jesus is coming to collect a people without spot or blemish. Waters will turn to poison, The tribulation will be bad so enter rapture to escape. EMP coming to USA.All lives matter not just black lives. If you suffer from depression, anxiety, racing thoughts, mood swings, anorexia, suicide thoughts, loneliness, or have a disease, seek Jesus. Jesus can cure any disease. Husbands are head of the wives, husbands love wives and wives obey husband. Aliens are demons dont trust them. Osas is not always true. There will be a locust army that will wage war on humanity. Believe in faith to receive in prayer or you will not receive, those who exalt themselves shall be humbled but those who humble themselves shall be exalted first shall be last but last shall be first, seek Jesus and pray without ceasing, Keep 10 commandments even Sabbath, bless and not curse, repent of all sin, do unto others what you would want them to do unto you, harp music with praises to Jesus is biblical, read bible daily, cleanliness, no yoga or yoga pants, dont get COVID vaccine, love God, love others, avoid homosexuality, high heels, strife, sinful incest, guiding people into prostitution or lusting over nudity not married to you, Jehovah's Witness, witchcraft, sinful media like tv shows, unholy anime like death note and avatar last airbender and naruto and one piece and bleach, love of money, sex outside of biblical marriage, adultery, masturbation, porno/hentai, anal and oral sex and hand jobs, plastic surgery, football and idolizing football, merchants of the faith, addiction to facebook, sleeveless shirts and sinful shorts, sinful earrings and piercings, drunkenness, pride, smoking, gossip, lying,lacking faith, materialism, fictional books, dolls like dolls from Disney, no disney shows or movies, sinful movies like marvel, joking around, not loving God, unforgiveness, rap/music that doesn't glorify Jesus or God, cursing even parents, hate, suicide, videos games, trusting in self or humans over trusting in God and His Word, having any idol than Jesus, bikini and inappropriate clothing, sex with animals, arrogance, rebellion, Santa Claus, catholicism, 7th day adventist, lukewarmness, martial arts, freemasonry, energy drinks, skirts/dresses above the knee, tattoos, dying hair, star wars and the figures and movies and games, idolising sports and muscles and fitness and humans, abortion, islam, atheism, secularism, smoking cigarettes or marijuana or e cig, supporting or being a furry, orgies, swallowing semen, seeking the praises of men over God, burning government property sinfully, idolizing kpop stars or celebrities, hating God, dora the explora, cheating on your spouse with another person, bad thoughts like sexual thoughts and murdering thoughts, condoms, black goo, being rich in this life, loving this life, seeking popularity/ having favoritism/partiality,sex or lusting after animals or even children, racism, jehovah witness, mormonism, transgender, lies of evolution and big bang, flat earth, gambling, cheating or not paying on taxes when biblical required, mistreating orphans, bribes and taking bribes, leading at interest sinfully, murmuring, heresies, merciless, wrath, defamation, owing and being in debt, no affection, prosperity gospel, necromancy and mediums and astrology, hair extensions, God hates divorce, drinking human or animal blood, twilight book series, not helping the poor and needy and widows, not giving tithe (10% of income) and offerings, not being thankful to Jesus, not listening to parents, Halloween, 5g, avoid following other religion other than following Jesus Son of God. I am an unprofitable servant and least of everything by infinity. Best blessings to everyone every second forever by infinity God willing. Shalom aleichem.
struggle, that statement about "being inferior to their PTSD" really hit home. im active duty right now, and have done a combat deployment. I saw all kinds of shit but none of it ever really stuck with me that way because I wasn't the direct cause. but when I got home, I was the best man at a wedding and got drugged and raped by one of the bridesmaids. thats what ended up sticking. so its weird now getting treated for PTSD in the military, for something that isn't involving stacking bodies. your close about getting treatment though hit too. thanks for telling your story because I needed to hear it.
@@eileenisshadow5853 thanks. she is pretty awful but I sincerely hope whatever damage caused her to do it gets fixed, so this doesn't happen to anyone else
Sexual assault is sexual assault. No matter who it happens to. I hope you're working through it okay
@@thegrayowl1557 thanks for the concern. treatment is helping alot and after months, im finally able to get restful sleep. I agree with what you said too. There is a stigma against male victims (example: how did it happen if your stronger/bigger? aren't you in the military, you could've beat her up. stuff like that) that people don't seem to realize, it can happen to anyone. To reply to that guy who deleted his comment, no. she was actually a very good looking girl. it had nothing to do with how she looks. im a happily married man to a stunningly beautiful and compassionate woman. It happened because of something commonly called date rape drugs. word of advice, you can be the biggest and strongest guy around, but drugs will still knock your ass down.
@@jamesfaulkner9403 Have you thought about reporting her to the police? Maybe then you'd be able to save some other men from going through the same experience
@@kaiwilson5218 I have thought about it. but I didnt want the legal strain when I'm about to get out of the military following me to wherever I go next. I get out in a couple months, and was told by the investigators from NCIS that it could take much longer than that. I didnt want to burden my wife anymore than this already has
"What if my loved ones turned from me?"
Anakin Skywalker
Imagine camping away from everyone in the wild and a anime cat comes to you to ask questions.
Can't forget the creepy clown cam!
He's the last thing you see before you die.
Therapy Cat. 🐱🐈😸😻
Then you also see Anakin Skywalker and a massive iron giant
I love how a cute little creature is the therapist of a jedi that was a soldier.
Idk if this is funny or not, but,
his cousin: you killed women and children!”
And... he has... Anakin Skywalker... as his avatar...
@@donalds4506 broo I get your point. I didnt think of it like that...wow...what are the odds
@@stunningmean987technogamin6 I don’t know wether or not my joke is funny... every time I think of it I start to laugh, and then the realization hits me, and then I start to laugh... and then the realization hits me...
@@donalds4506 Really fucked up jokes are my favourite. Everybody hates us for laughing, but they can suck a mountain through a crack pipe and call me Billy.
@@tander101 oh crap thats funny
I was deployed in 2010 to afghan. Was 0621 in an artillery unit. I still struggle a lot today, have my own set of issues. Sometimes I see these videos pop up and I can't help but watch. Seeing others talk about what they experienced helps me feel like I can open up. I used to drink a lot when I got back and realized it made me worse cause I'd get emotional and remember all the stuff and go into story mode. I was diagnosed by the va with ptsd but didn't enjoy taking meds so I weened off. Met an amazing lady had a son and he's the reason I'm still around. I don't like being alone because I'm afraid of my thoughts. I could keep rambling on but just wanna say I like watching these. Would like to do my own session one day. I feel like the longer I go without telling my story it builds up and than explodes when I do tell someone. And they get overwhelmed and prob don't like it to much lol.
If you can afford a therapist, it legitimately helps so much
@Elementrider69 Trauma is like a credit card bill. As time goes by without dealing with it, the high interest fees add up to a very heavy bill....
@@duxdawg That's a good way to put it
The thing about fearing about having an inferior PTSD really hits home.
It nearly stopped me from seeking help, feeling like I don't deserve the help, like there is someone out there who needs it more than me, took me a long time to realise that what I have gone through in the last 7 months is reasons for people to end up pretty messed up, and it's not even scratching the surface of the things I have lived through, you don't need to be military to end up in life threatening fucked up situations, the kind that stick with you for a long time.
Even so, I still can't bring myself to believe that I am worth the help I need
@@CanuckBacon I was the same way, and then I became horrible with either oversharing or not saying anything when I should have because I just couldn't navigate it and I still go through a lot of that dysfunctionality that now I overthink it and get very stressed out whenever I talk about what happened so talking about it isn't that helpful for me (It doesn't help when you also have trust issues)
Its messed up that people see it that way. Reminds me of how addiction is measured, you don't need to be a homeless, prostitute crackhead to deserve rehabilitation. We all have varying degrees of problems. Just because someone may be "worse off" doesn't mean others suffering less don't deserve treatment and that applies to everything, mental health, family counseling, etc.
Can relate. Got ex military friends with ptsd that has messed them up pretty good. Hell, myself I was a hard opiate addict for years and suffered from some ptsd from events surrounding that are even hard for me to talk about and messed me up pretty good, but I definitely understand feeling like someone else deserves such help more sometimes. I'm sure I'm not alone on that either tho. Just goes to show reading other ppl's posts in here that we're all fuckin human and everyone deals with hard times in their lives.
I honestly think this comes up with a lot of stuff it fuckin blows
Sucks his cousin decided to do that to him. One of my biggest pet peeves in life is to tell someone something in confidence and expect that person to keep that to themselves. When they take that incredibly painful info and throw it back in your face hurts so badly. That’s why I don’t tell anyone anything anymore. I understand exactly what he means. I’m glad he was able to forgive his cousin.. don’t think I would have been able to.
Yeah, I've stopped opening up to people about what's happened to me because it tends to blow up in my face. Can only think of one person I told that was actually supportive.
People don't believe me, they mock me or they use it against me. Even counsellors are guilty as well so I do not open up to anyone anymore.
one my friends did that with nearly everything I told him, and yet I still told him more every time. feel like a dumbass about it now
@@TheMadQueen96 Yeah I remember when I had something really shitty happen and broke down multiple times a day about it. Finally went to a counselor after being encouraged by tons of people and required too by my job and she just looked at me, literally crying in her chair, and said "well it can't be that bad". My dad's done shit like that too.
Either they don't understand or they don't care, but those kind of people aren't ones you should care about either. I have an easier time now because I can tell everything to my girlfriend and she's always been supportive, but it's really hard to talk about certain shit with certain people. One of my best friends didn't believe something I told him before and stopped talking to me over it, so I know the feeling. I can say from experience that it hurts you more to keep it bottled inside though. You just have to find the right people
I was abused as a child, and would vent to my old friend group (who eventually conspired against me) and they, once they decided to berate and go against me, threw the trauma into my face as well as other trauma I experienced throughout my life.
They boiled them down to: "You tell us dumb fucking sad stories that are nothing but your fault."
Like yes, it is my fault that I was getting my head slammed off a sink by a 40 year old alcoholic when I was 13.
@@Pundae It's been this way for almost a decade now. I've given up on finding the "right people"
It was the same with childhood stuff too. To this day nobody believes me about what happened, even people who were present for some of the stuff that went down.
"I didn't want to really wanna feel inferior to like their PTSD" Felt that a lot as a csa victim, i think we all go through the thought of comparing our traumas to eachother
Yeah DV survivor here. I noticed that also.
Same here
Me too. Holy shit...
When I was in inpatient it was really common to do that with other people who have gone through similar or different things. It feels fucking awful yet reassuring in a way
Do you know how revolutionary this VR doc stuff is? Like being able to document these experiences in this surreal cuddly space. It’s inspiring and this story made me emotional in a very deep level. The shit people have to go through because of some arbitrary chain of command and how they have to reconcile that in their day to day lives. This deserves more attention.
Yep, wasn't there a game where you could talk with people, weird that it didn't blow up more
"The shit people have to go through because of some arbitrary chain of command"
If you have buddies wondering what the military is like just tell them it's exactly like their current jobs - office politics, bullshit rules, policies and/or regulations, but instead now you have guns and you and your buddies' lives are on the line.
This brought up a good point regarding isolation and PTSD... What is happening to those who suffer from PTSD and are in lockdown? Forced to think about your life due to 3/4 of your social life being cut off? If you have a family member or friend that you know suffers from PTSD or PTSD like symptoms, please check up on them... You never know when that one text or phone call can save a life. Happy New Year.
I already isolated myself prior to the lockdowns. There’s been a long ongoing struggle with ptsd and suicide but I’m lucky enough to have been through years of therapy to help cope with recent events and manage myself and any dark thoughts pretty effectively. I know if I was ever in any danger alone that I’d be able to reach out to my support system and they’d come without any second thought. I can only hope other veterans and people with traumatic experiences have a strong system in place as well. I’ve lost five friends already, all of which might have been avoidable if someone had reached out and asked if they were okay.
Keep a look out for your homies. Utilize the resources if you’re struggling. It’s okay to ask for help, it doesn’t make you weak.
1-800-273-8255 suicide prevention hotline
@@takanti Wish you the best bud.
@@takanti yup, nail on the head. Most people I know, myself included, just retreated further into themselves before getting help. I tried to bury my problems under a mountain of drugs and alcohol and it just triggered more episodes. I'd get overly aggressive and violent and didn't want to be around friends and family when I was like that, so I dug a hole and hid in it.
It sounds cliche, but it really is just like dumping gasoline on a fire trying to self-medicate. If you're struggling, don't go it alone. Everyone needs a little help sometimes and you're no less of a person for asking. It takes a lot of courage to admit something's broken and you need help fixing it.
Yeah, accurate as hell, only problem is I internalize and over analyze instead of lashing out because I'm scared of hurting people, I am more afraid of hurting people around me than I am of the nightmares and sometimes my day is the nightmare, but it's not scary it's just mind numbingly long and empty and I just can't let it go, and it doesn't end, that's what's scary, and every little thing causing my body to react and use up my empty adrenaline reserves just leaves me feeling worse and more tired, but when I'm not using up what little adrenaline reserves i have, i feel wrong, weird, something isn't right and I end up scaring myself back into that state of adrenal fatigue.
i've been doing somewhat alright, since most of my friendships and support system were already online, but i can't deny that it's been rough even so. best wishes and best of luck to everyone going through the same thing 💙💙💙
Hey Struggle, fellow GWOT vet here. Thanks for sharing your story. The stuff you talk about, like fearing your closest circle weaponizing your stories against you, it resonates super close. Thanks for putting yourself out there, man. I hope you're still keepin' on.
I really like this guy. He seems like someone I'd wanna be friends with.
Me too
@curtis allen being self aware makes for a good person all-around.
He is legit likeable af and brave
Right??
This is the the side of the military they don’t try to show you , glad to see him coping better, his Anakin model from the clone wars is sick love that show
After watching both of these I really just want to shake this man's hand
notice how is he talking about being scared of his loved ones turning from him as a anakin skin
I read this comment as he was talking about it lol
And then his talks about his cousin telling him "Well you killed women and children" and I'm now wondering if that anakin skin was intentional
Definitely intentional. Wouldn't be surprised if he identifies a lot with Anakin, because Anakin's story is pretty similar to his...
oh
@@MissPoplarLeaf wait does struggle become a cyborg with asthma too?
Being active duty army myself, I have met people and seen people just like this guy. Suffering from mild PTSD myself and listening to him just saying the word "Trapped" really knocks it right on the head. Everyone handles it in their own way, no matter what they have seen or been through. I learned at behavioral health that "getting it out" to people you trust and are willing to listen to you explain what your feeling, Helps in tremendous ways. So from one soldier to another suffering with military related bullshit, I salute you because I found myself in the same situation 2 years ago and KUDOS to you Syrmor for listening to this guy tell his story, You probably have no idea how good of a service you did for this guy :)
I'm there right now my guy. Debating just taking a medical discharge because I hate what I'm fucking doing so much. BH offered one to me when I started hospital treatment
@@Pundae I feel ya man , medical discharge is the way to go in some cases just depends on how your unit is , mine is alright but they could be better
@@HazedVision Well it just sucks cuz I don't really have much else planned out. Like I could survive, and my fiance is military too so we'd still get benefits, and it'd be even easier to be with her if I wasn't in the military, but like I just still don't know if it's the right move
@@Pundae In the end its all up to you, 6 years is good enough for me man, got 2 left and then im off to live a somewhat normal life hahah
the man killed 30 civilians with his actions, he should be charged with war crimes in Geneva, not talking about his problems on VR chat.
I'm not a veteran. But I was a victim of violent child abuse. Thank you for sharing you stories. Hearing someone speak the truth of there pain is inspiring. Thank you again Struggle ❤️
"weaponizing my worst trauma against me" wow this describes my deep dark fear as well.....
Same.. if people even knew.
Thank god they are oblivious.
@@sevnesioran6193 that feeling of "someone is going to find out" either that my experiences are too awful for me to be a good person or not awful enough to qualify as PTSD...yeah that's something that happens but Struggle is the first one I've seen talk about that part of it
@@azoe6764 Perhaps the first is the case.. if you were diagnosed and it affects your life then, unfortunately, you qualify as having PTSD.
Don't worry.. the lesser the better, don't ever think what you are going through isn't important.
It always is, for you and the ones you love the most.
I want to kick his cousin's rear so much. I don't care if he's related.
@@azoe6764 It's a thing. I was going to post my own experience in support, but then I thought, "My situation doesn't even compare. I'd get laughed at." The fact that I'm not suffering anymore seems proof enough of that. Realizing that circumstances were beyond my control helped me put it to rest quickly.
"Like a wounded animal lashing out" resonated with me, I've never been diagnosed with PTSD but after everything that had transpired for me in 2017, and how my brain biologically dealt with similar situations after the fact have hinted towards some sort of PTSD or psychological disorder and it definitely feels like a wounded animal lashing out, you find yourself in a similar situation and your brain replays that original scene in your head and it gets you going, your adrenaline surges and your body tenses up in a sort of pseudo fight or flight response, it can definitely make things worse at times. There are these old "boomer" era jokes where it's a family of 4 or whatever and both of the parents are just living day to day, trying to find that one thing to focus on to try to forget the life they live, we live in an era where the world itself is in our pockets and we can do whatever we need to distract ourselves but for people like myself, or struggle, who have been through these horrible things and have PTSD, or depression, or some kind of existentialism that eats away at the brain can't find an off switch that easily, finding this channel was a blessing, because it makes the world much brighter to know that you're not alone.
Blessed be your soul.
I really resonate with your response here. having PTSD is like a ticking time bomb in your nervous system. Like one day all is cool and you feel completely whole and then something happens even slightly related to your trauma even in some abstract way, and all of a sudden you are back to square 1 for a moment, or a day. even a week. and it can come so out of the blue too. to the point where you get so mad at your brain like It's MY brain where is the off switch? and for some people that is where it gets super scary. Some people hyper focus on that shit, thinking "Well I really feel like I'm going to Die tonight. I have somehow convinced myself in a matter of 2 seconds that I am not going to wake up. Because I'm broken, my head hurts, my heart keeps changing beats and I can't focus on anything. yes this means death."
and let me say, that shit is a nightmare.
Then to have people be so open about their ptsd or trauma, and so readily available makes things feel a lot better that hey, you aren't on your own in this. well done. it's nice.
What I love about these is that they don't feel like interviews. They feel more genuine, like people just sharing their stories freely without being discouraged by a camera or having their conversation "herded" by the interviewer. Awesome content.
“like a wounded animal just lashing out”
hit me in my chest like a fucking brick
Same here brother
Honestly that’s the part that broke me. Had a good cry sesh haha. Much needed.
I’ve had that exact thought before... *gigantic sigh*
"he lives withing 8hours of me so i can go visit him" thats quite the trip
Not in North America, it’s a pretty quick trip all things considered
it's really not that bad lol
los Angeles al Paso is 12 hours; el Paso to Houston is another 12. Generally if it's under 24 hours we push through it to make it in a day.
@@elijahaitaok8624 8 hours is 8 hours. Unless u got a time machine.
Idk what you guys are doing where on your off days you can make an 8 hr trip to talk to someone and call it quick
His laugh is so lively. I love his laugh. You can tell it’s genuine joy, it’s contagious even. I admire that so much about him, even through his trauma he’s still able to find humor in things. Incredible man. Thank you for your service.
He better get to a support group before he turns into Darth Vader.
Hope this doesn’t offend anybody I really respect this guy for being open about his struggles and I pray for him. Just thought this might be funny.
@@calvin1559 your good man
@curtis allen we don't want the obi wan's turning into darth Vader's, but I get your point
@curtis allen Just cuz it’s joking about a serious situation 🤷🏻♂️
@@UCABrSfFxOw_91MsYSwPABqQ Theres no reason not be just he polite about things
Hugs for this guy..you can feel the warmth and pain in his voice
na fuck him, he got into that by his own account, now he must carry the burden. killing people is not acceptable.
@@arielulloa4146 Wanna know what's also unacceptable, those terrorists at the building setting up the army folks and making those innocent bystanders hostage, if anything, the ones to blame are the terrorists, you clearly didn't watch the first part, watch it all before you judge his character.
EDIT: Also he didn't know about the bystanders, before you say anything. That's pretty scummy to attack him with knowledge he didn't know at the time.
@@arielulloa4146 it's easy to say that when you haven't been in his place
@@arielulloa4146 shut your mouth if you don't know what you're talking about
@@arielulloa4146 Successful countries have wars unfortunately. Be happy your country don't require to serve.
People don't want to kill unless they have to.
I cannot express in enough words how much good work this channel does. Especially now, when it feels like humanity is a shitshow with no good ending, it has been paramount to show that every single person has a story to tell, and giving them a safe place to tell those stories is absolutely wonderful, thank you.
I think he sees himself in Anakin which led him to associate with him at a personal level and as a kind of humorous coping mechanism
This summarized every type of PTSD in both military and civilian life.
It really didnt
it really did 😐 highly doubt you knew what you were talking about and just wanted to disagree lol but no this was incredibly accurate.
@@andrewstephens5885 I highly doubt you’re regarded as a man despite having male body parts
There's a second kind of PTSD. And tho they all deep down are about trauma.
It's never going to be the same for everyone
But i can definitely relate to this. Even though my trauma was a to long child hood
@@davidhatch40 If you're just gonna talk shit why bother replying?
I've watched two of Struggle's interview videos thusfar, and this has resulted in me subscribing to this channel. There's something genuine about this process that feels unique and cathartic.
To Struggle - While I've never served in the military, your description of the Helmand River Valley is a story like tempered steel. It has a raw quality to it of having been shaped by hammer and flames. I agree that it's not something to be proud of, but there's something special about how far you've come as a person in the telling. One step at a time, my man. Like the compassion of humanity that you mention, never forget that there are those in your life you can lean on. Finally, thank you for opening yourself up like this.
To Syrmor - As I mentioned earlier, this format is unique and attractive. There's an absurdity in the presentation of VR chat that makes the interviews feel more genuine and special. What a wonderful way to weaponize the internet for compassion and shared stories. Kudos to you, and anyone else that works with you!
My dad's an army vet, and I have a degree in psychology (going into mental health and soon to be a teacher!) and Ive talked to him for hours about past deployments and how he's felt about it. We crack jokes and have fun talking about it, but I can see the way its messed him up. He has so many issues from being about, his back and his knees are giving out and is gonna need knee replacement surgery soon. He's watched his friends die out on tours, from cars being blown up and to his own car being blown up. I remember him joking about having to peel off his friends eyeball from the inside of a door and placing it into the guys front pocket, having to gather up the pieces of him. Or how he watched a truck full of guys get thrown into the air from a roadside bomb, having to tie off a guys leg to stop him from bleeding out. I see him laughing about friends and people that are no longer here, but beneath it all I see the fear. The fear that he's been in so many cases of near-death, from being one seat away from being brought home in pieces.
In his last deployment, just before my 4th/5th birthday he wrote a letter for me and my mum. A letter that wouldve reached us if he had died that tour. He came home in one piece, alive and well, but we never saw those letters. He burned them and doesnt tell me nor anyone about what was in those letters.
I cant help but get emotional at how many soldiers that come home mentally unwell with ptsd or other disorders. There are families missing thier fathers, husbands, wives, mothers, daughters and sons because they never made it home or they couldnt live with the aftermath of it all.
I dread the day for my dad to be unable to laugh with me, for him to be a shell of who he used to be because the trauma finally caught up to him. I cant bear it.
I appreciate your story, thanks
My dad is a Vietnam War Vet. He was in the Korean Army "White Horse Division". The only story he told me when he was in the greens in Vietnam was a piece of his ear got cut off from the grenade shrapnel. But the good news is he had the piece of his ear kept safe and the medic was able to sew it back on. My dad was a reporter (I think). He had recorded the war on camera. So either was a reporter or just recording the happenings in Vietnam for some purpose. I remember he told one of a Vietnamese restaurant owner some stupid shit about him killing NVAs. Like beheading them and sticking it on top wood stake in a jokingly fashion. But that is rude and stupid to say it to a Vietnamese refugee. But other than that he never ever talks about the war, to me or to my brother and my mom. He keeps everything to himself. Either he is scared of talking about what he went through, or he is very selective on what subjects he wants to talk about.
And oh yea, seems like my dad never gets PTSD. He gets very emotional at times, but he never acted out on anger and anxiety. It seems like he is mentally intact at times. But I am no expert on mental health.
I love you syrmor this series is so beautiful and really opens up a gateway for people to share their stories
I have CPTSD and I think it’s really comforting to hear other people talk about theirs
Wonderful video.
I really feel for this guy. I worked briefly at a VA and I know that many veterans really benefit from group sessions. They are very welcoming regardless of the experience folks go through. It seems to help a lot of people because you get to share your experience with people who can truly relate to what you went through.
If we're all Skywalkers at heart then everyone needs an Obi Wan...
I mean, it’s really Luke that turns Anakin/Darth Vader away from from the dark side, and one of the things that turned Anakin to the dark side in the first place was that he felt not only Obi-wan, but the entire Jedi Council didn’t trust him, as well as feeling that they were holding him back. So I guess I would say we all need a Luke, but idk.
@@donalds4506 Honestly if qui gon jin had trained anakin I doubt he would have turned. Obi won was not ready to take a padawan and they only formed a decent bond around the start of the second movie, when he was already much older. Anakin was constantly bullied and ostracized by other padawans and the council did nothing about it, and Obi won had no clue how to talk to him except to lecture him that his feelings were bad.
@@Pundae yeah I've heard this a lot, and I also agree. So maybe everyone needs a Qui-Gon?
We also need an Ahsoka.
@StruggleGun Almost 4 years later now, and I just stumbled upon these two videos. Fellow army retired here, but no combat deployment, just support missions. A bunch of my buddies were in the box, both in Iraq and Afghanistan, some of them multiple tours. So your story is not unfamiliar.
So glad to see you're in a better place, though I know your trauma will never fully leave you. Like you said, people can be incredibly compassionate, especially fellow vets. I hope you've continued to find lots of support and understanding.
Just wanted you to know, someone heard your story and thought of you today. I hope you're living your best life. Cheers.
I would never never look down on someone who is going through shit, nobody should be alone or turned away from family. We are all together on this.
while you are right that everybody deserves some compassion and understanding, i think its fair if for personal reasons a member of their family doesnt want to support a person who killed innocent women and children, even if they feel bad about it now
@@mejorge420 it depends man, life ain’t black and white... there’s multiple things that can occur.
@@mejorge420 I looked at your comment history and you're biased against the military in general. Like the other person said, it's not black and white
@@MischieviousJirachi biased against a group of racists who want to attack my people and brainwash the youth of america to do the same? how couldnt i be. you dont know what we go through. i dont know how you could watch this video and still support the military, look at what theyve done to this person!! they manipulate the young men who dont know what to do with their lives into killing innocent women and children.
@@mejorge420 You might be right. But that still doesn't justify disregarding his feelings and experiences
Struggle is one hell of a guy, I could listen to his stories for hours. It’s nice to hear he opened up and started talking about his issues more and that he’s getting help
I can’t express how much respect I have for this man. He has come so far in understanding his own ptsd struggles. He is a hero.
you are the most underrated person in your life. don't take that as an ego boost. it's a compliment to your person, your character, and your emotions. thank you for what you share and what you do for others. yes, the person reading this. syr too, but this is my message from over the wide internet to you, individually. both of us are gonna go places if we put our hearts to it. happy 2021 guys
This comment made me cry, I don't know who you are but I needed to hear that, Thank-you, you just saved a life ❤
Thank you so much, kind stranger
Thank you, happy late 2021 :))
Hey Struggle, not sure if you’ll read this but your story is truly inspiring and I hope you know that I and millions of other Americans are extremely grateful for your service. Watching your previous interview, I found it interesting that you went to Hurlbert Field; My dad became a Chief MS at Hurlbert before retiring after 30 years. You have truly gone through a lot, much more than I would ever know but one thing I can say is to keep moving forward if it’s just one day at a time. The past is in the past, it is extremely important to honor, remember, and learn from our pasts, but to keep moving and focus on the present just one day at a time. Thank you for your service Struggle
As a person who has PTSD from my childhood trauma, how he explains it is very good.
What happened?
This channel is one of the most unique “experiences “ on UA-cam, because with every video you watch it seems to open your mind a little bit more to other people’s real life experiences and what others have to go through on a day to day basis. I have the upmost respect for this channel and wish it the best for the future.
Oy sassy mate
I feel the same way. Just found this channel in my recommended and it really puts things into perspective sometimes.
Whaddyatalkinabeet
To stumble across something as wonderful and compassionat as this channel is something that I will never take for granted. This man is doing something so simple,he let's these people speak their stories because sometimes all you need someone who is there to listen. Someone who you can express to in fullest extent what happened and what you were feeling in that moment or before that moment or even years after that moment
hehey sas mate
I used to play with a guy that sounded exactly like this man and he was in the military and he used to talk to me about his struggles and I did my best to understand it but I didn’t know what to say or do
@@bassboostwoof6123 yea I did that
God Bless you, Struggle. I hope you're doing well out there.
The fact he uses anakin(a man who killed men women and children and embraced the dark parts of life because the corruption of the government that he knew was not strong enough) thats what hits me soldiers these days view themselfs as villans or part of a evil empire .. shit is sad
Are they wrong? If I had been in a tech behemoth showering down ordnance on civilian positions I might feel a little like I was on the Death Star
They are though
Or he just likes anakin from the clone wars
@@Vaposer you really have no clue what your talking about
@@kylerf2076 *you're
Please do not stop making these videos, I think I speak for everyone when I say you help us so much. Happy new Years Symor
Listen up folks, im at the 2:50 marker in the video and I feel what he is saying is important. He's talking about how he didn't want to open up and talk about his military experience, for fear of losing his family and those around him. HEAR ME NOW... I did lose my family and everyone around me after sharing my stories when I got back. No one wants to or is capable of hearing this stuff.. THIS ISNT HOW IT SHOULD BE. IT SHOULD BE WELCOMED TO SHARE EXPERIENCES, TOO HELP OTHERS THROUGH IT. WE KNOW ITS ALOT TO DEAL WITH, WE HAVE TO FUCKING DEAL WITH IT. BUT WE NEED A SAFE SUPPORT SYSTEM IN FRIENDS AND FAMILY AND COMMUNITY TO BE ABLE TO SAFELY EXPRESS ALL THE ANGER AND HATE AND GUILT AND EXCITEMENT AND ALL THE OTHER FEELINGS WE FEEL AFTER COMING BACK FROM A FUCKED UP WARZONE, KILLING PEOPLE, LOSING FRIENDS, LOSING BODY PARTS. I personally deployed in 2011 to Kandahar Province, Kandalay Village, the actual village the Taliban was created in. Before we deployed, they showed our unit pictures of the town, from when the Russians where in there, and they showed us one of the Afghans standing in front of a captured Russian Tank with the Crew hung from the cannon, and they told us "Ok guys, that's gunna be your home for the next 12 months, good luck and Godspeed." It turned out to be the wild west. And mind you, 2011 was the year we pushed over into Pakistan and killed Bin Laden. Quick story on that actually, I remember hearing the news that the SEALs killed him, during March or May, one of the M months, and I looked at my Sgt and was like "So, we going home now?" He turned and looked at me and laughed "Fuuuuck no. That's not why we are here."
Wow thats crazy. Thank you for sharing your story and thank you for your service. I agree with you that its important as family and friends to be there for people we care about, even if its hard for us to deal with it must be 2x as bad for them
Wow. This and Part 1 are the first two videos I’ve ever watched from this channel.
I’m hooked.
Liked, commented, subscribed.
yup same
Same
Tomorrow is my birthday and I'm finally going to a therapist for the first time since I tried to off myself back in 2019. I have to be up in 6 hours and I can't fucking sleep. I try telling myself that I'm alive because I don't want to die but honestly I know I'm only going through the motions because I don't want to put my friends and family through the same pain that I feel constantly. Idk why I'm even writing this. I just cant sleep.
hey, thanks for staying alive, although ideally no one would want to die what you feel is a decent second, good luck with the therapy
You’re so brave and congratulations for going to therapy, I’ve recently started therapy as well, we got this, you’ll get through it, God bless🙏🏼
Hang in there, I was told to perpetually survive the next ten minutes and as desperate as that sounds, it helped. Please hang in there. Small pleasures. Whatever it takes. I am over 4 years since I was brought in for help. Life has gotten so much better and more tolerable. I know you posted this days ago, and I'm sorry for replying late.
That’s how it be. It’s really fucking hard to go through the motions and it’s even harder to get better for yourself. Something that helped me is try to do better for your loved ones. Because if you don’t want to do it for yourself you won’t. And keep working for them and eventually you WILL do it for your self. Life really fucking sucks but it can get better. You may or may not read this but STAY STRONG. It’s really fucking hard but savor those moments where it all feels alright, cause those moments are what makes living worth it. Keep moving, and take care.
Have a good day sir :)
There’s nothing more painful than the feeling of shivering numbness in your bones. Set a goal Dylan. Force yourself to go outside and talk to strangers. Make memories. Be selfish about your life. Show kindness and let their smiles fuel yours. Hope you’re doing ok man
We need more of this guy. I could seriously listen to him all day man. Sounds like such a cool dude and you letting him talk on here is most definitely helping him as well. Talking to someone no matter what your through always helps.
It's oddly fitting that he's dressed as Skywalker for these.
These VR chat conversations are revolutionary. I think this should be researched and funded as a new therapeutic setting/method.
pov: you checked to see if he uploaded a new episode yet... and he still hasn’t
Why hasn't he? Did he quit?
Still here
This may not be the best place but sweet profile pic
@@FantasticExplorers thanks 👉😉👉
WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY.... that makes people hesitate in seeking the mental/emotional help they need because of what other people may think.
I know the military does say they support soldiers getting help. But I can tell you. I had a crisis mid term, and I bought the bullshit then went and got help. Well it did help me...it bit me careerwise so yeah...the military breeds that.
@McGinnis 34 I lost my gun rights for seeking help a few years ago. Not to mention how expensive it is to seek professional help. The system is terrible and almost forces you to deal with things on your own. If you seek help it feels like you’re being punished for doing so. Locked in a mental ward, gun rights taken, treated like some psycho by people who find out. It’s awful
It really upsets me when people try to use information you did not have at the time to attack your actions. From your explanation, you didn't know about the civilians and there was no reasonable way for you to have known about them. In my mind those casualties aren't at all on you. The people who chose to fight there despite knowing how close they were to civilians are the ones that are responsible. They had the opportunity to clear out the area and didn't.
In the moment, you never have complete information. Actions should be judged on information that was known at the time.
It is common for them to use civilians as shield to protect themselves against attack like this, it is common tactic. Even if you knew civilians are there you would probably do same thing that is war.
@@MarkoLomovic Nah, I'm not in the military but I know that civilian lives take top priority. There is no chance that they would open fire on a building if they had info about civilians in the area. This was just unfortunate that the Taliban were willing to risk the lives of innocents to protect themselves
@bangythebrav Yeah, I've seen this disconnect between info available, viewpoints, and judgment work several ways. Publicly, some politicians/pundits use the "you haven't been there so you don't have a right to debate it" card to push for an agenda that perpetuates the conflict. I feel like all I can say is that I am critical of the political and policy decisions that created our messes, but I support the commanders and soldiers who do their professional best in hard/impossible non-ideal situations. When the military does find or reveal failures in judgment or behavior, I see and hear about a mix of visible (for PR reasons?) measures to address the problem, as well as cover-ups to make problems quietly go away without addressing their causes. So I default to wanting to believe in their professionalism b/c I'm just a civilian, but I also want to know that the military's own oversight departments/committees are sufficiently empowered to police itself. I know from business management that organizational cultures (corporate, in my experience, but definitely just as true of military depts as well) have a tendency to protect themselves from and ignore problems they don't want to deal with, creating systemic/institutional issues that sometimes blow up later down the road.
On a more personal level, I have a friend (Marines) who acted like he was blowing off a similar incident by saying that it was a bad situation, but better them than him and some much less pleasant things (along the lines that it'd be better to turn the desert to glass). I'm pretty sure he's actually capable of empathy b/c I can hear and see how much his commanding officer's death affected him, and what he did to help his CO's family. I can only assume he was coping with some kind of "fake it till you make it" and/or tough guy thinking to avoid taking too much of the impact onboard at once. Another friend of mine (Marines, some kind of recon?) said yeah it sucks, it happens despite what you do to minimize collateral damage, it's not on you, but you have to stop short of passing it off as "well they deserved it" or similar to the glass desert comment. B/c if you get too used to thinking the latter, it further dehumanizes noncombatants who don't deserve it. Imperfectly, if that's what it takes to protect yourself, help you move on, then it works. But also have to be mindful of what that kind of negative coping can itself do to you.
Sorry if that may have been a bit disjointed. I think the contradictions I heard in their conversations mean that there is a difficult tightrope balance between distancing yourself enough to minimize your own trauma, and overcompensating so much that you end up becoming a hate-filled person just b/c you were trying to protect yourself. And avoiding judgment (of the self, of hearing someone dealing with it, etc.) for lack of info or understanding is key.
@@dakaodo I think I get what you're trying to say. I'm not trying to say that the civilians deserved it or there was no mistake made. I'm trying to say that when presented with a situation and limited resources, you have to do what makes the most sense with what you have. I would value the certainty of saving the pinned down soldiers to the risk of potential civilian casualties. I think it is the people who prepare the field who are responsible for the risk of the civilians in the area. The mistake if any on the american side of things I think rests at the feet of those that created or allowed the situation to happen. They didn't have any middle ground or recourse to support the soldiers other than the gunship. Gunships I don't think can do anything less than significant damage to a whole building. They weren't given the tools needed to ideally address the situation that happened. At the same time, don't wipe out an entire village because a few guys set up in one building. If you know there are civilians in the building, it becomes a harder question in my mind. It is similar to the classic trolley problem. The difference is though that you don't know if anyone or how many would be hurt if you flip the switch to save the ones you can for sure see.
@@wumbosaurus9121 Dude you need reality check I can tell you as someone who got bombed by US first hand.
in 1999 US bombed the shit out of many civilian targets here in Serbia and not even hospitals were of the limits. They pretty much dumped their expired armament because it was cheaper.
If that doesn't tell you how much they care about civilian life I don't know what will. Now imagine what goes on in full on war like iraq where it is impossible to track war crimes.
"Couldn't find anything other than a creepy little clown?"
Couldn't find a Ugandan Knuckles?
These conversations are what i wanted from vr chat but what i got was 7 year olds screaming about their ‘no no square’
"you killed women and children"
*is wearing an Anakin avatar*
I guess there is some humor or irony in that but that’s some real trauma he’s got so I don’t really find anything like humorous about that
@@blckkeef Not humor, but as someone else noted in the comments, his choice to depict himself as Anakin likely was an intentional one as he may identify with the character
@@xChemistryFTWx beat me to it.
“And not just the men! But the women, and the children too!” -Anakin
This is pretty much hitting the nail on the head on the the whole ptsd thing cause I also suffer from ptsd and from the experience that I had my entire outlook and interactions with people completely changed and this interview is great and he seems like a genuine person who really has a lot going on and he is a trooper props to him
The fact that both Anakin and Struggle both have went through war makes this story more interesting
"yeah I feel better thanks"
Godspeed Struggle, thank you for saying the things most of us aren't strong enough to say about our PTSD. Hearing someone else say it helps figure out how I feel about it. Thank you.
Finally, a meaningful UA-cam video after god knows how long
i work in the medical field in a government military hospital i would love to share my own experience with insomnia and restlessness on vrchat
Insomnia fricking sucks man, I haven't been diagnosed with it yet but I do relate to your insomnia.
And I would love to listen!
Insomnia and restlessness means ADHD could be an option. Do you always have insomnia? Or if you stay up really late, are you able to fall asleep easily? ADHD can cause something called delayed sleep phase, where you don't get naturally tired until way later than most people. I thought I was a mild insomniac for years until I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 28. Obviously you can also just have insomnia, but if you also struggle with doing things on time, forgetting things like appointments, constantly misplacing things like wallet/keys, it may be worth it to get checked for ADHD. I always thought ADHD just meant you couldn't pay attention in school/work, but there's way more to it than that.
Either way good luck in your journey.
I'm grateful he shared his story and relieved he is able to talk about it, even if it's online. I hope things will get better for him.
These videos are very impactful. I admire his bravery for talking about a very tough time in his life. This video will undoubtedly help others through their struggles with PTSD. I hope the person in the video realizes that moment will not define him. I hope he continues to get the support he needs and I thank him for sharing his story.
WHEN WE NEEDED HIM HE CAME THROUGH WITH TWO
yess i thought i had heard him before!
i really like how their videos are cut- its so to the point. like, instead of a ton of questions and interruptions and hyperactivity, its actually just hearing the person talk. its nice. i mean, its also really sad... but, i enjoy hearing about other peoples experience on this crazy planet where reality is subjective for all of us... anyway, this was really emotional. i saw the first one too. really made me feel some stuff.
Thank you for this video & thank you for listening to his story..
I’m diagnosed also with PTSD and recently lashed out on someone and felt really bad about it...
it was nice hearing someone else’s perspective going through PTSD 🤍
1:33
General sky walker talking about his ptsd from the clone wars with his therapist cat
Perfect description of PTSD. It broke my heart when he said the regret and guilt wouldn't go away. I have PTSD from being sexually assaulted and I never thought about how much worse it would be to have PTSD from doing something fucked up as opposed to having something fucked up done to me.
PTSD had been a pain. Opening up to friends and family helped me.
Extremely articulate and intelligent dude. His own self reflection is inspiring.
I've found that a lot of people currently/formerly in the military, in combat roles, display an incredible amount of self-awareness, and are very articulate in describing their experiences and their outlook on life in general.
I think that our enlisted members of the military are consistently misbranded as dumb, brutish 'grunts', but my experience with them has been anything but that; at least not with people who have seen combat.
This channel is brilliant. I have ptsd but wasn’t in the military. I can relate to feeling like you haven’t seen it as bad as others. It really helps to hear that others can relate! 👋😎
I’m drunk off my ass and this whole story was just so good to listen to
You’ve got something good here, interviewing vets behind a veil of anonymity, you should continue this series with other vets if you can. It’s therapeutic for the vet and eye opening for civilians.
I've never felt so understood about my PTSD before. It's really comforting and emotional hearing other people's stories.
Love this, "we'll fix it in post" smashed that subscribe button