What is a boundary? 01.32 Struggling to assert boundaries 02.37 Joost Meerloo - brief biography 04.09 The similarities between a narcissistic family and a totalitarian state 06.44 Boundaries 07.20 Rigid boundaries 08.21 Porous boundaries 09.21 Healthy Boundaries 10.04 Types of boundaries 11.03 More examples of unhealthy boundaries 12.10 Enmeshment with narcissistic parent 12.45 The child’s reaction to invasion/domination 13.17 Joost Meerloo - the totalitarian state quotes 13.33 Fear of expulsion from the system 14.39 Loss of a sense of self 16.39 Being watched and scapegoatism 19.07 Denial of reality 20.31 How does the leader maintain his power? 21.37 Totalitarian terror 22.38 Enemies of the regime and of ourselves 24.22 Fear, guilt and scapegoats 25.45 The frailty of empathy 26.27 Slander, smear campaigns 28.47 The need to belong 30.45 The demagogue is almost incapable of humour 32.06 The impossibility of combatting ravings with logic 34.41 Feigning, fainting defences 36.23 Looking for weakness in others 37.49 Controlling parents 38.43 A conforming and submissive child 39.16 The child supresses his instinctual needs 40.29 Repeating patterns of suppressing needs in adulthood 42.57 Pre-verbal communication with mother 44.11 Effects of a weak or no father figure 44.22 Punishment for non-conformity and dissent 46.22 Self-betrayal as a survival mechanism 47.35 Fear and terror 48.29 ‘Joining’ the enemy 49.14 Motivations of traitors 50.38 Who resists longer and why? 52.56 Know your enemy 53.28 Thought crimes 54.09 Submission or rebellion 54.53 Achieving freedom 57.08 Healing and setting boundaries
I listened to the whole video and tried to follow along with the fascinating read of totaliaria. At some point, I became overwhelmed by a sense of total inescapable toxicity of a societal Narcissistic takeover, so I took a break and slept it off. Being currently held hostage by a Narcissistic system in my home, I am having trouble finding hope to overcome it and am slipping from a freeze state into a submission state. Is this what Stockholm Syndrome feels like?
@@victoryamartin9773 Hi Victory, We can often feel overwhelmed or anxious/agitated or heavy and sleepy with not much energy - this may be due to emotional states being triggered inside us. If you are not already aware, it might be helpful to see how triggers work, please see this video here: ua-cam.com/video/Rofpu8PnQDI/v-deo.html Take care.
This video has explained more to me than 10 years of therapy in terms of being the child of a narcissistic parent. I recognise and identify with so many of the behaviours you and this book so excellently describe. Thank you so much!
Highest quality work! The level of dedication, depth, and erudition shows respect for traumatized people and the seriousness of the matter. Thank you so much!
Super helpful video! I watched the entire video and couldn't dare turn it off. Just want to thank you for doing the kind of work that you do. You're a huge blessing for a scapegoat such as myself. I've watched hundreds of hours of countless other UA-cam channels, and this one is by far the most informative, as well as encouraging. God bless you!
When i observed the normalization of authoritarian tactics during the covid hysteria I considered what kind of families have people grown up in that normalised this? Or that also made those who questioned the authoritism tactics... But i feel the STATISTICS on narcisstic family sytems is way higher than reported My God i want a few copies of this book!!!! Its my Christmas gift to the few weirdos i call friends - i am perfectly comfortable woth lrngthy videos though yhey are not part of the optimal monetization of short attention spans that youTube promotes
Hi Poet, You may be interested in this article childrenofnarcissists.org.uk/zersetzung-gaslighting/ which talks about the institutionalised authoritarian tactics used in East Germany in the 1970’s and 80’s by the state against their opponents - if you have not come across that subject already. Really interesting.
@@childrenofnarcissists thank you for the share... I read in an article that was critiquing democracy a statement that 'when the masses are infantilized democracy is a tyranny of the masses' so my observations are that these 'events' serve to re-traumatize a traumatized public with hopes to maintain a infantilized consensus so that the public can be demoralized and democracy made a mockery of thus allowing the corporate appointed autocrats room to justify their much needed authoritarian oversight 🙄
Great stuff! Growing up in a high control group as well as with Narc parents is nothing less than a horror movie‼️ I'm just now coming to grips with the reality that I was targeted with enmeshment and gaslighting to groom me to live up to a pseudo identity, just to make the parental figures happy. I can remember the feeling of my energy being sapped as a youth, and I'm just now putting the pieces together. It is extremely difficult not to get triggered, because deep down inside they know exactly what they did, but will go to their graves before they tell the truth. Going through life under a pseudo identity is a straight up nightmare‼️💢The person is handicapped and unable to perform like a regular person! I can't tell you how many failures I've experienced in life, with other individuals looking at me like what is wrong with you? It's like everyone is expecting a person to perform like a tiger or lion, but all they have is a poodle or chihuahua at best......
Sarah, I love your channel!! 💕 I’m well along my healing journey, but it always feels good when people validate ACTUAL reality (vs. a narc’s delusions of what constitutes reality). This is such a powerful book-thank you for sharing it with us. 🙏 It’s a shame we can’t grow up knowing all of this, but hopefully, kids in this generation who are born into narc families will be able to discover MUCH sooner that they aren’t (and never were) the problem. As an INTJ, your approach to understanding & healing narcissistic abuse really resonates with me. Thanks again! 😊
Thank you for your research and answers to a problem I have considered, but I have not found much information. I admit I am fearful to learn this information. Self sabatosh and self deception is what I have suspected in me for some time now. Your information is compelling and I am going to binge watch you!!! Haha. I love that you seem to have a good hold on the psychological dynamics of understanding and seting healthy boundaries!! Thank you for your work!
Someone please explain if Borderline pd is caused by parental narc abuse. I have every symptom mentioned here. Do i have Borderline PD or Complex Trauma? Both? Or neither?
I actually Sound the Quote "every Borderline has a Narcisistic Father" in a Book from Allan and Barbara Pease about relationships .. that upset me a Lot and I didn't accept it till I die my psychosomatic lectures to my Studies.. than I understood why it is Truth about the Borderline and realised that I am a covert Borderline.. and when i See the criteria for PTSD, also I met this.. so probably also.. maybe like you..
What is a boundary?
01.32 Struggling to assert boundaries
02.37 Joost Meerloo - brief biography
04.09 The similarities between a narcissistic family and a totalitarian state
06.44 Boundaries
07.20 Rigid boundaries
08.21 Porous boundaries
09.21 Healthy Boundaries
10.04 Types of boundaries
11.03 More examples of unhealthy boundaries
12.10 Enmeshment with narcissistic parent
12.45 The child’s reaction to invasion/domination
13.17 Joost Meerloo - the totalitarian state quotes
13.33 Fear of expulsion from the system
14.39 Loss of a sense of self
16.39 Being watched and scapegoatism
19.07 Denial of reality
20.31 How does the leader maintain his power?
21.37 Totalitarian terror
22.38 Enemies of the regime and of ourselves
24.22 Fear, guilt and scapegoats
25.45 The frailty of empathy
26.27 Slander, smear campaigns
28.47 The need to belong
30.45 The demagogue is almost incapable of humour
32.06 The impossibility of combatting ravings with logic
34.41 Feigning, fainting defences
36.23 Looking for weakness in others
37.49 Controlling parents
38.43 A conforming and submissive child
39.16 The child supresses his instinctual needs
40.29 Repeating patterns of suppressing needs in adulthood
42.57 Pre-verbal communication with mother
44.11 Effects of a weak or no father figure
44.22 Punishment for non-conformity and dissent
46.22 Self-betrayal as a survival mechanism
47.35 Fear and terror
48.29 ‘Joining’ the enemy
49.14 Motivations of traitors
50.38 Who resists longer and why?
52.56 Know your enemy
53.28 Thought crimes
54.09 Submission or rebellion
54.53 Achieving freedom
57.08 Healing and setting boundaries
I listened to the whole video and tried to follow along with the fascinating read of totaliaria. At some point, I became overwhelmed by a sense of total inescapable toxicity of a societal Narcissistic takeover, so I took a break and slept it off. Being currently held hostage by a Narcissistic system in my home, I am having trouble finding hope to overcome it and am slipping from a freeze state into a submission state. Is this what Stockholm Syndrome feels like?
@@victoryamartin9773 Hi Victory,
We can often feel overwhelmed or anxious/agitated or heavy and sleepy with not much energy - this may be due to emotional states being triggered inside us. If you are not already aware, it might be helpful to see how triggers work, please see this video here:
ua-cam.com/video/Rofpu8PnQDI/v-deo.html
Take care.
Great video! Thank you for spreading your knowledge!
This video has explained more to me than 10 years of therapy in terms of being the child of a narcissistic parent. I recognise and identify with so many of the behaviours you and this book so excellently describe. Thank you so much!
Highest quality work! The level of dedication, depth, and erudition shows respect for traumatized people and the seriousness of the matter. Thank you so much!
Thank you for your lovely comment.
Back with another banger
10/10
I could not turn away the whole video... I am a man achieving my freedom
Super helpful video! I watched the entire video and couldn't dare turn it off. Just want to thank you for doing the kind of work that you do. You're a huge blessing for a scapegoat such as myself. I've watched hundreds of hours of countless other UA-cam channels, and this one is by far the most informative, as well as encouraging. God bless you!
Hi Chris,
Thank you for your lovely comment. I am glad this channel is so helpful.
When i observed the normalization of authoritarian tactics during the covid hysteria I considered what kind of families have people grown up in that normalised this? Or that also made those who questioned the authoritism tactics... But i feel the STATISTICS on narcisstic family sytems is way higher than reported
My God i want a few copies of this book!!!! Its my Christmas gift to the few weirdos i call friends - i am perfectly comfortable woth lrngthy videos though yhey are not part of the optimal monetization of short attention spans that youTube promotes
Hi Poet,
You may be interested in this article
childrenofnarcissists.org.uk/zersetzung-gaslighting/
which talks about the institutionalised authoritarian tactics used in East Germany in the 1970’s and 80’s by the state against their opponents - if you have not come across that subject already. Really interesting.
@@childrenofnarcissists thank you for the share... I read in an article that was critiquing democracy a statement that 'when the masses are infantilized democracy is a tyranny of the masses' so my observations are that these 'events' serve to re-traumatize a traumatized public with hopes to maintain a infantilized consensus so that the public can be demoralized and democracy made a mockery of thus allowing the corporate appointed autocrats room to justify their much needed authoritarian oversight 🙄
Priceless information and insight, thank you so much for posting this.
Thank you for your lovely comment and I am glad this info was helpful.
Great stuff! Growing up in a high control group as well as with Narc parents is nothing less than a horror movie‼️ I'm just now coming to grips with the reality that I was targeted with enmeshment and gaslighting to groom me to live up to a pseudo identity, just to make the parental figures happy.
I can remember the feeling of my energy being sapped as a youth, and I'm just now putting the pieces together. It is extremely difficult not to get triggered, because deep down inside they know exactly what they did, but will go to their graves before they tell the truth.
Going through life under a pseudo identity is a straight up nightmare‼️💢The person is handicapped and unable to perform like a regular person! I can't tell you how many failures I've experienced in life, with other individuals looking at me like what is wrong with you? It's like everyone is expecting a person to perform like a tiger or lion, but all they have is a poodle or chihuahua at best......
Amazing! 💡
Brilliant video ❤thank you.
Appreciate your time, helping others, more than you know. Thank you ❤
Thanks so much
this is really helpful! thank you so much!
Sarah, I love your channel!! 💕 I’m well along my healing journey, but it always feels good when people validate ACTUAL reality (vs. a narc’s delusions of what constitutes reality).
This is such a powerful book-thank you for sharing it with us. 🙏 It’s a shame we can’t grow up knowing all of this, but hopefully, kids in this generation who are born into narc families will be able to discover MUCH sooner that they aren’t (and never were) the problem.
As an INTJ, your approach to understanding & healing narcissistic abuse really resonates with me. Thanks again! 😊
Thank you Mo.
I also hope children in narcissistic families these days will discover what happened/is happening to them much much earlier.
Take care.
Brilliant insight!
Thank you!
Very interesting. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks Rob - it's a fascinating book.
Thank you for your research and answers to a problem I have considered, but I have not found much information. I admit I am fearful to learn this information. Self sabatosh and self deception is what I have suspected in me for some time now. Your information is compelling and I am going to binge watch you!!! Haha. I love that you seem to have a good hold on the psychological dynamics of understanding and seting healthy boundaries!! Thank you for your work!
It was a long video. I was mesmorized by every word. Thank you so much😍🥀
I just found you! Thank You from USA!❤
Someone please explain if Borderline pd is caused by parental narc abuse.
I have every symptom mentioned here. Do i have Borderline PD or Complex Trauma? Both? Or neither?
I actually Sound the Quote "every Borderline has a Narcisistic Father" in a Book from Allan and Barbara Pease about relationships .. that upset me a Lot and I didn't accept it till I die my psychosomatic lectures to my Studies.. than I understood why it is Truth about the Borderline and realised that I am a covert Borderline.. and when i See the criteria for PTSD, also I met this.. so probably also.. maybe like you..
I heard that borderline pd is accoitated with deep loss in childhood
Starts at 6.40
It's the Republican playbook.