A Different Kind of Coming Out

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  • Опубліковано 10 жов 2016
  • Hopefully this story will make people out there feel less alone. And help them realize there are others out there who have pulled through similiar situations. Life isn't easy and for some of us we have expeirenced some pretty rough times. But we can't let the past consume us and make us forget to fight for a brighter future.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 1 тис.

  • @eddiegardner8232
    @eddiegardner8232 7 років тому +285

    It wasn't your fault. You were a child. You are are a man now; seems like you are a good one. That is the best revenge. Keep up the good fight.

    • @adamgoodword7888
      @adamgoodword7888 6 років тому +3

      Very well said Eddie!

    • @DrummondCulture
      @DrummondCulture  6 років тому +28

      Thank you. I’m definitely happy with who I am today but I would never wish my path getting here on anyone else.

    • @mircotrolsman2805
      @mircotrolsman2805 4 роки тому

      @@DrummondCulture And besides that: You are not gay because of this incident - you are gay in spite of this unbelievable tragedy that happened. Well, I never was raped or anything, so I cannot say whether it's true what I say to you. However, I befriended with a girl - a lesbian for sure - that was raped by a man at an early age. And she told me that the biggest fear she had her entire life was that she was lesbian only for the reason of hating men. Love your brave mind: I am still in the closet - whereas you were able to have a coming out both on your sexuality and the abuse you faced as a child. Unfortunately, the most beautiful boys in the world are at the highest risk :/

  • @Elessar1a
    @Elessar1a 7 років тому +329

    I can't imagine how hard it is to deal with stuff like this and to survive. you're brave man. thank you for sharing this with us. remember you're never alone.

    • @DrummondCulture
      @DrummondCulture  6 років тому +17

      Thanks! Thankfully I’ve always been surrounded by amazing friends so that’s helped out a lot.

    • @puppy28360
      @puppy28360 4 роки тому +8

      @@DrummondCulture I would love to give you a hug and tell you will be ok

  • @L_Leocel
    @L_Leocel 4 роки тому +7

    I still see the 5-yr-old boy in your eyes.😔

  • @MichaelAdamGReale
    @MichaelAdamGReale 4 роки тому +236

    I was 17 when my uncle raped me. I cannot imagine the horrors if that had happened at 5. I am so sorry. That man robbed you of your childhood and innocence. I applaud your video and sincerely hope it helps others. We too are part of the #metoo movement. We feel the pain of those whom spiritual leaders, regardless of religion or denomination, have molested. Brother, stay strong.

    • @DrummondCulture
      @DrummondCulture  4 роки тому +8

      I’m sorry you went through something like that. Hopefully you’ve been able to heal with time.

    • @MichaelAdamGReale
      @MichaelAdamGReale 4 роки тому +14

      I have. I went from totally ignoring or avoiding contact with him. Later it evolved into my uncle died that day and this is some dude who just looks like him and that helped me be civil with him.
      My family's reaction surprised me the most. My parents cared but didnt push me enough to go public with this. I was a kid and scared he was going to put a riffle into my ass and pull the trigger if I told. The way he threatened me, I believed he was capable. My grandmother told me that rape was a harsh word. My other uncle didnt want to get involved.
      Now that they've all passed away, it vanished. The stress was gone so I dealt with it by saying to myself, "let the dead rest."
      Thank you for caring and letting me share my story. I'm a bit teary but it's good, cool.

    • @hisword1296
      @hisword1296 4 роки тому +1

      @@MichaelAdamGReale --- So so so sorry that happened to you-! Sending thoughts, prayers, and GOOD VIBES your way-!! May you find peace and strength to move forward-!!! God Bless You.

    • @wolfie3005
      @wolfie3005 4 роки тому +1

      I am so unbelievably sorry that this happened to either of you. I know a handful of men/boys who have been through the same and it absolutely disgusts me to see the epidemic of rape and sexual abuse men are doing on this planet to people of all ages. Where I'm from there is a 2 year waiting list for men for trauma counselling and it's clear there should be recovery centres everywhere for males. I also feel that the lack of involvement people have with each other and what goes on amongst families gives too much space for this to happen !?
      The fact these men do this while OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS ARE IN THE NEXT ROOM and can be so fucking inhuman and sick is unbelievable. To do this to children...shows the level of evil men a lot of men function at. I know women are not innocent but the research shows the majority is males doing it. Something major needs done about this. 😢 so people like you and people everywhere don't have to go through it. 🙈🙈🙈🙈 sorry to ramble.

    • @reemclaughlin4260
      @reemclaughlin4260 4 роки тому +1

      It makes me livid how common this is. Same thing happened to me, and it was an older family member. I went to therapy for 2 years, but we all know what the damage is. 🙏🏻💖🕊

  • @johnmonkus4600
    @johnmonkus4600 4 роки тому +167

    Hopefully you will find someone who loves you, and you can trust him enough to let him hold you.

    • @DrummondCulture
      @DrummondCulture  4 роки тому +37

      Thanks John! I do hope to find someone some day that I can make life memories with.

    • @jbro8934
      @jbro8934 4 роки тому +8

      @@DrummondCulture Hey man I just watched your your video and there are tears in my eyes. I can't imagine the vulnerability and fear that you at five years old felt. I am so sorry! I hope your uncle suffered terribly throughout his life and got more than his share of pain and misery. What a horrible person! But instead of wasting time dwelling on that I'll say that you are an amazing man for having the strength, courage, and resilience to overcome such a tragedy. Congratulations. He couldn't and didn't get the best of you. That's something that has been inside of you all along and you showing it to the world now. Again, congratulations! You're an amazing person. There's so much evil in this world. It happens every day. Sometimes people we love and trust are the ones who hurt us the most. I'm reminded of that line spoken by Michael Clarke Duncan in The Green Mile. "He killed them with their love for each other. That's the way it is every day. All over the world." So sad. Keep doing what you're doing my friend. You're inspiring and helping other people. I too have difficulty in intimate relationships for other personal reasons and have been alone for quite some time. Maybe one day soon we'll both meet the right person. Any good man would consider himself lucky to be your friend/boyfriend. Best of luck! Peace!

    • @DeJanJe
      @DeJanJe 4 роки тому +4

      @@DrummondCulture Wish you all the best 🙏

    • @5735HT
      @5735HT 4 роки тому

      Drummond Culture, you will x

    • @mayj257
      @mayj257 4 роки тому

      People still LOVE him

  • @johnjayalves6843
    @johnjayalves6843 4 роки тому +46

    Different script and different characters, but your story is my story also. The fear of allowing yourself to be vulnerable is real. I still can’t :(. Thank you for sharing

  • @daldana6639
    @daldana6639 4 роки тому +132

    For me it's so hard to understand how some men could be possibly do something like that. Where do they find the pleasure by doing this a kid? I Just can not understand

    • @royward4495
      @royward4495 4 роки тому +3

      It's a false sense of control and power over a defenseless individual.

    • @Inflec
      @Inflec 4 роки тому +3

      +Dal dana - I can. To inflict that level of pain, suffering and trauma to a child -- someone who is in no way prepared for sexual activity -- all for just the satisfaction of the perpetrator. The only type of personality that goes through life with that level of disregard for the harm they cause for others are psychopaths. The best work I have seen about these people is a book by the preeminent expert in this field, Dr. Robert Hare. The title is "Without Conscience -- The Disturbing World Of The Psychopaths Around Us." I think most people will find it a very enlightening read.

    • @lichub
      @lichub 4 роки тому

      @@devonguy02 That's also not SANE.

    • @pakabe8774
      @pakabe8774 4 роки тому

      Also women do such horable things...

    • @Inflec
      @Inflec 7 місяців тому

      ​@@lichub- I'm three years late to your comment, but the simple response is, NOT SO. For someone to be judged not sane, it must be determined that the person in question does not understand right from wrong. In years of research the conclusion with psychopaths is that they DO understand right from wrong but this understanding does not deter them from the criminal acts that they commit. This is explained fully in the book that I recommended in my other post.

  • @tommccarty7168
    @tommccarty7168 4 роки тому +76

    That was courageous. Your sharing this definitely helps us all. Thank you for being so generous. ❤️

  • @NeathenAlero
    @NeathenAlero 7 років тому +163

    This story made me very uncomfortable. But that's the point - I believe these *silent crimes* have the power to shape an individuals future. I'm encouraged by your *super strength* and say *thank you* for overcoming this atrocity! 💝

    • @DrummondCulture
      @DrummondCulture  6 років тому +7

      Thank you for your kind words

    • @JDubb898
      @JDubb898 5 років тому +13

      @@DrummondCulture Your story actually touched my heart and made me cry because I am one of those victims as well and to this day I blame myself for having let this continue on for the longest time because I was too scared to put a stop to it. It happened to me by more than one person and to this day I am still afraid to name the criminals that enticed me to keep coming back by offering me drugs and buying me things because I feel like it's my fault too.. UGH! It just makes me feel so dirty, disgusting, and ashamed!! And I am so sorry to hear that this happened to you as well and you are such a handsome guy! It just breaks my heart! 💔😢 I hope you have a great boyfriend that treats you with all the dignity, love and respect that you deserve! I know that pain you felt and I understand the flashbacks you probably still have to this day because I have them too. I hope you're doing well and wish you the best! Stay strong! 💪

  • @TheDuglas63
    @TheDuglas63 4 роки тому +91

    Here is one guy that always has your back, you are loved and protected.

    • @redhood8141
      @redhood8141 4 роки тому +8

      Wow, we need more people like you in the world

  • @Redeemed26
    @Redeemed26 4 роки тому +42

    I had the same thing happen when I was seven years old and also have the same fears as you. Thank you for sharing your story. 💙💜💚❤️💛🧡💖

  • @mohammadforogh4702
    @mohammadforogh4702 4 роки тому +24

    I love you too,
    I had the same story and it took many years to overcome it, I decided to study psychology and be a psychotherapist to help myself, and now I am a psychotherapist who is working with sexual violence victims

    • @mayj257
      @mayj257 4 роки тому

      you have turned tragedy into hope for others

  • @apostolosanagnostaras5785
    @apostolosanagnostaras5785 4 роки тому +57

    There are times like these were I feel ashamed for being a human being... I'm really sorry that this happened to you but I'm really happy that after all these years you found the courage to share it... Muck love wish you the best💕

  • @qtmspctonydlonewolf9129
    @qtmspctonydlonewolf9129 4 роки тому +22

    This doesn't define who you are. I don't judge or hate you.You're a human being that deserves respect and love like everyone else. I'm proud of you for speaking out.
    I'm your brother now. I got you!

  • @bills.1951
    @bills.1951 4 роки тому +51

    OMG, I've never been so touched by a coming out video. I hope you have found peace between posting this and now, for you are beautiful, inside and out. No one deserves the hell you've been through, and I hope, in my heart and soul, that you find love, trust, and happiness beyond measure. Thank you for sharing your story; it brought tears to my eyes. Wish I could hold you in my arms until all that pain was gone, and your face beamed with the joy you deserve. A big internet hug to you, a beautiful man.

  • @boxerguyrein6721
    @boxerguyrein6721 4 роки тому +22

    I was a little shock up after watching this. Brought back memories that took years to escape, By sharing and talking you over come a major hurtle and start to heal in your own way. Thank you for sharing. You are a good man and a lite for others.

  • @Albertrhi
    @Albertrhi 6 років тому +53

    I send you a big hug, a really big big hug. I know exactly what you've been through. I was also sexually abused as a child. It was so traumatic that for years I had to be in psychological therapy. I wet the bed every night even though I was a teenager because of the nightmares. Animals that do that to children really cannot image how much damage they are doing to the person. They destroy the soul. I could not talk about it for 20 years, but the first time I talked about it with my best friend was so liberating. From that day until now, the recovery process has been long but steady .... I hope you are well now. I wish that you can recover completely and that you find good people in your life. Hugs!

    • @DrummondCulture
      @DrummondCulture  6 років тому +7

      Thank you so much for your comment. It means a lot. It's definitely been a healing process.

    • @shiroeyager5454
      @shiroeyager5454 4 роки тому +2

      Drummond Culture I’d love to meet someone as handsome, descent and down to earth in life

  • @tjtanner9311
    @tjtanner9311 4 роки тому +17

    I started crying when you said your mother was too late. It must have caused her so much pain when you finally told her the same thing that happened to her and what she was trying to protect you from 😔.

  • @sparkers70
    @sparkers70 4 роки тому +35

    Don't know why this showed up in my recommended list but I'm glad it did. You are precious and I wish you the very best. 💕

    • @DrummondCulture
      @DrummondCulture  4 роки тому +5

      Awe thanks! Hope you’re having a good week!

    • @sparkers70
      @sparkers70 4 роки тому

      @@DrummondCulture week was good.. just having a relaxing weekend at home. Hope you're doing the same (or out having some fun! Get to my age, either is good hah)

  • @MEDDlNO
    @MEDDlNO 4 роки тому +1

    This popped up in my recommendations, it must’ve been SO difficult, a lot of people have stories like this that they won’t say because people get attacked, you really touched my heart and thank you for sharing and showing people that they are not alone in everything

  • @Volkslady
    @Volkslady 4 роки тому +40

    So sad for you and anyone who is so betrayed by a loved one. I can't imagine the lifelong ramifications. I hope and pray that going public with your story will help you find peace, and also comfort in knowing you will certainly help others. We care about you. Sincere hugs.

  • @AjSlutboi
    @AjSlutboi 4 роки тому +28

    Your so brave telling this story. It was sad to watch but powerful. Hope your ok now. We all have your back.

  • @tonyhornbuckle8378
    @tonyhornbuckle8378 4 роки тому +9

    Thank you for sharing. I too held my secret. Too young to know what had happened to me. The story just kept spinning around in my head for years. Not until I was a grown man did I tell my mother that I was gay. I never told my family that two men had did things to me. Iam 68 years old now the story is finally loosing its details with less spinning. Had to learn to forget and to forgive in order to live. With Gods help.

  • @DAVE9500
    @DAVE9500 4 роки тому +1

    I am so sorry. No child should ever have to go through that. Never let it define you as a person.

  • @damarkus3489
    @damarkus3489 6 років тому +20

    Literally, tears welled in my eyes and my jaw dropped as I watched this video. I feel extremely sorry you had experienced this traumatic event as a child. Your message is very powerful: to break that stigma of silence and not let the sexual abuse control one's life, at least that's how I interpret it. Thank you for sharing your story, Drummond, and I hope you are doing well because you deserve love like we all do.

    • @DrummondCulture
      @DrummondCulture  6 років тому +4

      Thank you so much for your comment. I've been doing well. Trying my hardest to fight off hate I this world and show everyone Gods love.

  • @irisheyes4you
    @irisheyes4you 7 років тому +16

    It did, it did touch my heart. So much that I was in tears half way through the video.

  • @luiscarracedo7793
    @luiscarracedo7793 3 роки тому +1

    How is possible that an adult can do so much damage to a child? Almost a baby! UNFORGIVABLE! Especially when it should be someone who should take care of you
    My heart is broken, and I think any word couldn't be enough to relieve that pain caused. My reaction is hold you in silence as strong as possible to protect you.
    Your courage is enormous!!

  • @ScottJonesTVonline
    @ScottJonesTVonline 4 роки тому +1

    Brave move bud. It did touch my heart. I was six when it happened by my best friends DAD. You are loved. Thanks for posting this and I pray you find peace and happiness.

  • @mohanr4102
    @mohanr4102 4 роки тому +60

    when your mother had suffered such worst things in her life from her dad and brothers... then y did she take you guys there for christmas :(

    • @EdGringo78
      @EdGringo78 4 роки тому +2

      mohan R Why would you even ask that question? Do you know the first thing about sexual abuse?

    • @NickUncommon
      @NickUncommon 4 роки тому +2

      I wondered the same thing, but due to similar circumstances I know, that it has to do with the fear because they also were told, that they are supposed to be quiet about it.
      I dont have my own children, but my two siblings have and even though we always made sure the kids are never alone with the "problematic family member", he managed to do some things, we did not want the kids to experience. And only after that incident, we made sure there will be no more opportunities for him to do harm in keeping our family meetings where the kids are present a secret to him and have outings, that are so regulated and activity packed for him, that there is no chance for him to engage in his "games" with the kids. We all were more relieved than sad, when he died of old age.
      The damage was done but we siblings really hope, it could be minimized through talking to the kids about that what he was doing was very wrong and that they need to talk to us about what makes them uncomfortable, if it happened without any of us noticing it, even if they were told to keep quiet about it.
      We would not tattle, but make sure, these "opportunities" would not arise any more.

    • @donnieraveling188
      @donnieraveling188 4 роки тому

      its family. Why not go? Your putting a lot of blame on others when the blame needs to be on the abuser. It sounds like you need more education before you respond.

    • @Dako108
      @Dako108 4 роки тому +1

      EdGringo78 Um that’s why he is asking. Asking a questions is how one learns about stuff like sexual abuse.

    • @transgoddess31
      @transgoddess31 3 роки тому

      Her mother still lived there and she loves her. Her mother never did nothing.
      It happened so quick...she prolly didn't realize. He was just helping them clear the table.
      The uncle was a predator....plan and simple

  • @DMP0763
    @DMP0763 4 роки тому +18

    Wow, I just watched this video . . . what can I say? How can someone do that to a child? That is terrible . . . that would definately screw with your head. Just know that it was not your fault. I would be terrified of people coming up behind me or getting to close too. Thank you for sharing. I don't know you, but I am proud of you for sharing your story. I wish you the best of everything!

    • @jamesmahan6322
      @jamesmahan6322 Рік тому

      My bet is the uncle was also a victim of sexual assault which set a pattern for his life to be an abuser. Little boys are very good at keeping secrets like this, which makes them a perfect victim. The uncles actions were still inexcusable. Sexual assault becomes a secret family tradition. Often going on for many generations. Teach your children to not be silent if it happens to them.

  • @ZyniPhoenix
    @ZyniPhoenix 7 років тому +144

    I don´t know much to say. I had to think about a poem and a quote i like and which give me strength:
    Out of the night that covers me,
    Black as the pit from pole to pole,
    I thank whatever gods may be
    For my unconquerable soul.
    In the fell clutch of circumstance
    I have not winced nor cried aloud.
    Under the bludgeonings of chance
    My head is bloody, but unbowed.
    Beyond this place of wrath and tears
    Looms but the horror of the shade,
    And yet the menace of the years
    Finds and shall find me unafraid.
    It matters not how strait the gate,
    How charged with punishments the scroll,
    I am the master of my fate:
    I am the captain of my soul.
    - Invictus
    William Ernest Henley
    and
    You will never understand the
    damage you did to someone
    until the same thing is done
    to you. That´s why I am here.
    - Karma
    Stay strong! Don´t let the demons win.

    • @DrummondCulture
      @DrummondCulture  7 років тому +10

      Thanks for those :)

    • @evanshadows4657
      @evanshadows4657 4 роки тому +6

      This world is evil

    • @wilsonsantiago8122
      @wilsonsantiago8122 4 роки тому +11

      I had a similar experience when I was about your age. So sorry you had to go through that alone. You are not alone anymore, you have victims like us who have shoulders to cry on and heal. My mom thought something was wrong back then but I was so ashamed to say anything. Here I am 60 years later and no one ever knew till now.

    • @frankpiper1364
      @frankpiper1364 4 роки тому +6

      So sorry.

    • @cyrill3000
      @cyrill3000 3 роки тому

      Wow, thank you so much for sharing these beautiful poems, that nail it. Besides it reveals, that you don’t look down on us with compassion, but you can give us an analogy of understanding and most important, encouragement. Hugs from Hamburg- C

  • @tomdwyer898
    @tomdwyer898 4 роки тому +1

    I had a similar story, not with a relative, but with a Catholic priest, and I was a bit older. The clarity of that memory has remained with me throughout my entire life, I will never forget one single second of what happened. I know deeply that intense fear of which you spoke, and how the shame I lived with for so many years caused me to also question who I am and why I am the way I am. I was in my 50’s before I ever told another living soul about this event. You’re a young man of great courage. You’re coming out story was compelling. Thank you for your courage, that took a lot of inner strength to share.

  • @timd381
    @timd381 5 років тому +6

    I can’t even imagine how tough this video was for you to make. I’m so sorry this happened to you. 💔

  • @dg6700
    @dg6700 4 роки тому +3

    We need to protect children from this unthinkable (but real) possibility. Thanks for sharing this with people who are recovering from this kind of deep trauma. My best friend experienced something like this but it was ongoing over a period of years. He was in his 30s before he began to remember what happened.

  • @cristianchacon5101
    @cristianchacon5101 4 роки тому +14

    a big hug for you! you're not alone. We love you!

  • @tommyparrott4172
    @tommyparrott4172 Місяць тому +1

    I know this is from 7 years ago, but I just came across your channel and had to subscribe. This helps me more than I can put into words right now. I am also in Virginia. Thank you, Ben.

  • @paulablanco7891
    @paulablanco7891 4 роки тому +8

    I cried so much watching this video. It is crazy that I have lived to be 26 years old and only 3 people know my secret, my parents and the person that did it to me. I was 6, he was also a trusted family member. I am also gay and I also struggled so much with my sexuality and my fear that he had somehow broken me and that's why I was gay. It took me a very long time to understand that sexuality can be incredibly fluid in humans and who you are attracted to is not only natural, but also influenced by many things. It was very brave of you to put this out there and speak so candidly about it. Thank you for breaking your silence, this video felt very healing for me. Send you so much love, you're not alone either. None of us are.
    Sincerely,
    Your new subscriber ♥️♥️♥️

  • @curlyhairlove
    @curlyhairlove 7 років тому +62

    I'm proud of you for sharing your story, I know it couldn't have been easy. I'm so so sorry that happened to you. I'm sending you a virtual hug until I can give you a real one next time I see you! ❤️

    • @DrummondCulture
      @DrummondCulture  7 років тому +8

      Meg and I have decided we need to come up and see you guys soon! We have a collab idea for us all to do :)

    • @curlyhairlove
      @curlyhairlove 7 років тому +1

      Aw yay that sounds great! ☺️

  • @eddieguz1
    @eddieguz1 4 роки тому +2

    Hi, wow, how my heart was toughed seeing this video I thank you for. At 61, soon to be 62 I still am affected by the loss of my innocence at 6 years old. While watching the video I just wanted to hug you and just cry, cry, and cry some more. Blessings to you and your companion, my heart has been touched with this video. Thank you!

  • @JuanitoDePR
    @JuanitoDePR 4 роки тому +6

    Thank you
    I’m one too. Even to this day I suffer.
    Yet there is much help and hope for you.
    May the strength of the spirits be with you.

  • @turbobrain1342
    @turbobrain1342 4 роки тому +14

    I know that this is long after your video. Let me just say, you are a great and sensitive man. Those that love you and mean a lot, will never judge you. Those that judge you or are repulsed, do not matter. I am quite sure that you know that. I have a similar secret that I have carried my whole life and have never really shared. It affected pretty much everything in my life.
    This was a touching story. Again, you are a truly great man. Draw your friends in close to you. They will protect your vulnerable heart and the broken little boy inside.
    I wish I could hear how things are going with you today, but have a great life.

  • @saintsebastian5396
    @saintsebastian5396 6 років тому +30

    It is amazing that you survived this long with that devastating a secret. Do not fall into the suicidal group. Lives are a very precious, very rare thing. I may be able to relate to you some. Stay blessed, and strong and safe.

    • @DrummondCulture
      @DrummondCulture  6 років тому +9

      Thankfully suicide has never crossed my mind. I have a purpose in life and many reasons to live.

  • @Studio5LA
    @Studio5LA 4 роки тому

    "But I refuse to let the past control my future." Therein lies the lesson. Brilliant presentation. So many brave guys in these coming out vids. Everyone moving in their own way. Just discovering them in mid-pandemic. It's all about change. Thank you so much for this.

  • @marthasheehan1112
    @marthasheehan1112 4 роки тому +1

    You, my friend, are the epitome of bravery and strength. I am in awe. God bless you.

  • @TorchwoodPandP
    @TorchwoodPandP 4 роки тому +15

    I only have one heart, alas, but it was touched by what a brave and strong individual you have made yourself. Thank you for sharing your story. It will make a real difference to someone

  • @joeylong8194
    @joeylong8194 4 роки тому +3

    Oh my friend. Why would you be afraid that we would judge YOU from something like that being done to you. Am SO sorry you had to endure something like that and yes , I'm sure you touched a great many hearts with your story. I know you did mine ! I'm glad you've adopted the mindset of not letting that tragic event control the rest of your life. You are an inspiration to a great many people i'm sure. Thank you so much for sharing your story.

    • @DrummondCulture
      @DrummondCulture  4 роки тому +2

      Thanks for your comment. Means more than you’ll ever know.

    • @joeylong8194
      @joeylong8194 4 роки тому +1

      @@DrummondCultureanytime friend.

  • @theemarydee1610
    @theemarydee1610 4 роки тому +2

    I, too, thought I was damaged so must be the reason I am gay. I’m 55 and didn’t come out till I was 50. Bless your heart for sharing your story. I share mine because, even if, one 5 year old is believed then I will know I shared for a reason.

  • @TheLongjohntim
    @TheLongjohntim 4 роки тому +3

    I have learned that I can blackout memories. My sister was a victim of my father who is now deceased I have no memory of being molested by him but one night my lover touched me and I went into a fetal position, thought I was going to through up. I have met a few people who said I had a lot of the signs of someone who had been molested. Guess I'm one of the lucky one I don't remember. Your story goes to show that it often runs in the family!

    • @gradywells4678
      @gradywells4678 4 роки тому

      I am a guardian ad lietum. I work with kids in department of social services. Most children are sexually abused from the age of zero to three. I am the voice of the child at court for children who can not speak for themselves.

  • @cantalibre4708
    @cantalibre4708 4 роки тому +9

    My heart is crying our for you. Drummond, I love you back. Bless you.

    • @DrummondCulture
      @DrummondCulture  4 роки тому +2

      Thanks! I’ve been able to heal a lot over the past decade. I learned that sharing my story helped me heal and hopefully will help others as well.

  • @carlbenzlozano8929
    @carlbenzlozano8929 4 роки тому +3

    Been through this multiple times by different men separately.
    It's been a though time growing up. The scars never healed but I've coped.
    I've always tried to use the pain to be empathic and to help other people.
    Man, we've come a long way.
    I'm proud of us for surviving.

  • @misterblinkies9392
    @misterblinkies9392 4 роки тому +5

    So sorry that happened to you. I went through the same thing at 5 or 6. Im now 58 and it still affects me.

  • @athb4hu
    @athb4hu 5 років тому +7

    It touched my heart too. Thanks for sharing, it cannot have been easy.

  • @sdsteele11
    @sdsteele11 4 роки тому +12

    Bravo for having the courage to share your story. Your Uncle need to be in jail!

  • @dereknewbury163
    @dereknewbury163 4 роки тому +10

    Very movingly and powerfully told. Thank you

  • @Thomas-fu8vp
    @Thomas-fu8vp 4 роки тому +7

    Yes, indeed You and your story touched our hearts. We guys love you! It is so difficult to make friends, to trust someone after abuse. Be your best keeper, love yourself, trust yourself, defend yourself. Life is work, lots and lots of work. Please reply. Thomas in Italy

  • @kennethmaese4622
    @kennethmaese4622 4 роки тому +3

    I cried at the hardest part of the story. Your courage will help many. Thank you for your bravery.

  • @sruthinambiar2701
    @sruthinambiar2701 4 роки тому +9

    You finally, even if it was for a moment, felt safe to share it with the world. Thank you for that. Take care ❤🌸
    Just a few months back I was being asked directions in a busy train station. After I gave the man the direction he began introducing himself (all this is happening whilst we are walking) and I just said alright and for some unknown reason gave my name too and was about to just walk away faster or something but he thought it was an invite for him to put his arm on me. I remember immediately pulling myself away and looking at him. He looked at me and I looked around and saw some officers and by the time I looked back to look at him he was gone. It all happened in the matter of seconds and the walking never really stopped. I continued and took the escalator to the platform and tried to spot him. I kept wondering if it actually happened, about how stupid was I to give him my name and how I should have told those officers immediately. I am tiny and hence it was easy for him to sort of wrap me in a way.
    It's weird, when you hear about it happening with others you wonder how you would be stronger. But the thing is that in that moment you many a times freeze or it just happens all so fast or maybe your brain slows down. I don't know. I remember thinking how it is true, every girl does experience it at least once in their life. Because until then I saw myself as fortunate to have not been through it. I don't even go out much. Considering that, the odds are sad.
    I know, my incident is nothing next to what happened to you. But I just want to tell the men, women, girls and boys out there that you did nothing wrong. Trust me. Sure, I don't know why I introduced myself back to him, I should have sensed it and walked away then itself. And I think I did. But it doesn't matter! It doesn't give him or anyone the right to touch you like that.

  • @STRATUS1995
    @STRATUS1995 7 років тому +33

    You touch my heart,so deeply and you are so courageaous to tell your sad story ,you are a great person !!

  • @Jonnyafallentree
    @Jonnyafallentree 4 роки тому +2

    This is my story too. I sat here watching it feeling like you literally were telling my story.

  • @jc2delaga
    @jc2delaga 4 роки тому +4

    Wow..that's insane an uncle can do that to a 5 year old. There goes his life. Keep growing n learning. We love you n u r worth it! Thank you

  • @draxquirnon6809
    @draxquirnon6809 7 років тому +46

    D, I am so sorry this happened to you!!! I just want to reach through the screen and hug you!!! 💜💜💜

  • @mikeacord5329
    @mikeacord5329 7 років тому +31

    Your story did touch my heart. I am so sorry you had to experience this. Thank you for sharing it. Much love to you.

  • @irisheyes4you
    @irisheyes4you 7 років тому +2

    As soon I saw "My uncle asked to come help him with something" I knew it wasn't going to be good. I am so sorry for what happened to you.

  • @reubenlaw7148
    @reubenlaw7148 4 роки тому +9

    Honestly, the story did touch my heart deeply.Although I haven't experienced this kind of thing,I did experience many other awful things.Everytime i feel upset, I will think my good future and life i will have.Keep strong and proud!🏳️‍🌈❤️

  • @84meisaid
    @84meisaid 4 роки тому +5

    Man I literally just wanna hug you right now, and tell you that everything is gonna be ok. ❤️

  • @ChiselMouse
    @ChiselMouse 7 років тому +7

    I can't even begin to imagine the anguish and pain you've experienced. Thank you for telling your story so that others can start to break the chains.

    • @DrummondCulture
      @DrummondCulture  6 років тому +1

      It’s definitely important for people who have become strong enough to share their stories to do so so that people who are still in a lot of pain realize that they will get through that pain and come out stronger on the other side

  • @johnhayes4456
    @johnhayes4456 4 роки тому +2

    Your eyes penetrated deep into my essence and I hope you telling me this soothed you as much as you first riled and then soothed me. You are a beautiful soul Thank you.

  • @Ralph2000Ed
    @Ralph2000Ed 5 років тому +2

    When I was 9 years old something similar happened, my parents welcomed almost everyone at home and one of their friends went to my house and I was alone, he started kissing me but I was able to run to the front door and go to the neighbours. Until now I never said anything. Until today I remember I was very uncomfortable for several weeks and that situation kept on my mind for several days, I did manage to forget it, I'm glad you mention this because I consider very important to make aware younger mothers about no living their kids with someone who is not completely trustable.
    When I was a kid my parents worked 2 jobs and several people were with us during my childhood I do remember good experiences but the actions of that person open my eyes to not trust that easy in people.

  • @dukeofdensity
    @dukeofdensity 7 років тому +5

    Thank you for telling your story. Thank you.

  • @lifeerrand
    @lifeerrand 4 роки тому +6

    Touched to say the least. Man my heart amd love goes out to you. Silence is a killer in so many ways. To your soul mostly, at least for a time. From the bottom of my heart, cheers to you for the journey you've shared and survived.

  • @billycarroll9153
    @billycarroll9153 4 роки тому +1

    You are so brave. I had a similar experience when I was a young teen that I kept to myself for years. Even through having to have surgery to repair the damage. But, in time with some professional help, I learned to trust and love again.
    Tomorrow I will celebrate my 39th anniversary with my loving husband.
    Don’t let anyone take that from you.
    You’re a special young man who deserves everything good life has to offer. You are never alone and even complete strangers will guide protect and love.
    A wonderful life awaits you.

  • @homobohemicus
    @homobohemicus 4 роки тому +1

    You made it! The toughest part in facing this fear is out. As lonely as we sometimes feel, you're not alone my friend.. For every nasty individual out there you'll discover that there are many many more decent people out there. I'm so so so sorry you and your mom had such unimaginable experiences so young. Your vulnerability is your strength and you vanquished this man's power over you. I'm glad that you have a loving partner with whom you feel safe and loved. You evidently have so much love to give. You are strong my friend.. don't ever doubt it. And sharing this love adds to your character. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

  • @quietman702
    @quietman702 4 роки тому +3

    Thank you for your courage to break the silence. I pray you find peace.

  • @charlessquires9668
    @charlessquires9668 4 роки тому +4

    Your strength and your heart free the strength and heart in others. Thank you.

  • @ericyetter4976
    @ericyetter4976 4 роки тому +5

    Every city that I've lived in in California I've always found a group of friends (gay & str8) that have loved me and supported me and 20 years ago I met a guy that I feel in love in San Francisco!! We were together for 2 years but then our lives took us in different directions. Even though we're not together we're still very good friends!! 😃

  • @robberrod
    @robberrod 4 роки тому +8

    Something like this happened to me except it was my best friends father. Time will heal and I pray you find the love and life you deserve.

  • @Dsepshun
    @Dsepshun 7 років тому +4

    Thank you for sharing such a personal story with us. And if anyone would judge you negatively for something that happened to you when you were a five year old child that was that traumatic then they are definitely not anyone worth your time.

  • @jimmyterry3116
    @jimmyterry3116 4 роки тому +5

    I remember the pain and the blacking out too! I love you.

  • @peterwy874
    @peterwy874 4 роки тому +2

    Dude... I'm not gonna tell you a sob story about myself 'cos there ain't one. I'm a down to earth gay railwayworker who knows the difference between right and wrong. I've repeatedly watched the vid with emotions I had never felt before and with tears in my eyes. Please let me tell you something, young man... Making this video and publishing this video must have taken an insanely huge amount of bravery. The expressions on your face and the humble and seemingly scared look of your eyes got me right in the heart. I want to do something to make you feel better... but I can't. But there's one thing I can do: To offer you a BIG LONG HUG. Even if it's just a "digital one". I think that this is not about us viewers, it's about YOU! And I do hope that the hug, albeit from a stranger, helps just a little.

  • @johncartermusic5777
    @johncartermusic5777 4 роки тому +1

    It is important for us to share what we have been through and what we have overcome, for someday it will become a page in someone else's survival guide. Thank you for sharing your story.

  • @Mrlotop
    @Mrlotop 4 роки тому +6

    I Drummond, no words, your terrible testimony did touch my heart and my soul. You are so strong, you did the right thing with sharing it, it's the only way to break this terrible vicious circle in your family, so much pain, so much tears, and you're still standing. I send you à big hug, and wich you the best in your future gay life.

  • @TheLegend3091
    @TheLegend3091 7 років тому +35

    I'm really sorry for what happened to you, and I hope he got the punishment he deserved. Also, I'm proud of you as so many other peoples that you shared your story and that no matter what you keep moving forward. I didn't have a similar situation as you did so I don't know how it feels. However, I know that people that had similar situations as you, they deserve the most love and happiness in the world. I wanted so many times throughout the video to hug you and tell you that everything will be ok. I wish you a brighter future in all aspects of your life! ❤️ - John

    • @DrummondCulture
      @DrummondCulture  7 років тому +5

      Thanks John

    • @redhood8141
      @redhood8141 4 роки тому +4

      @@DrummondCulture 😕 This made some old memories come back. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, no one should ever have to deal with this, I've been there and it eats you up inside. You coming forward and telling your story is the bravest thing you could do. You have all my respect and emotions. Thank you for doing this. I have no doubt you've helped a lot of people suffering in silence. I'm saying this from the Bottom of my heart, I love you. You are loved. I just want to hug you so much right now. I hope maybe I can meet you someday. I dont really have friends and ik you would be a good one

  • @gdby44
    @gdby44 6 років тому +1

    Thank you so very much for having the courage to share your story. You are absolutely right, so many people can not share their story but they need to know that they are not alone.

  • @candacedawson8537
    @candacedawson8537 4 роки тому +2

    My heart aches for the little boy who lost his innocence and for the man who will never forget God bless you young man I'm so sorry.

  • @michaelkwan-davis9321
    @michaelkwan-davis9321 6 років тому +3

    Thank you breaking the silence and sharing your heartfelt story.
    I am touched and felt your pain.
    Love and hugs.

  • @dougemerson5059
    @dougemerson5059 4 роки тому +4

    I wish I could take the memory of all that pain away for you. Thank you for sharing your story. That was brave of you and a step towards healing. 💖

    • @DrummondCulture
      @DrummondCulture  4 роки тому +2

      Definitely been a journey to healing. But I’m in a good place now in life.

  • @williamharding4260
    @williamharding4260 4 роки тому +2

    You brave man. Thank you for silently getting your story across to help others..

  • @butterflyeffect6578
    @butterflyeffect6578 4 роки тому +1

    Rise up Rise up. And let them listen to the voice of a champion.

  • @TheMalcomT
    @TheMalcomT 5 років тому +8

    I started binge watching your channel when I ran across one of your posts this afternoon. I really dont know what to say, my heart is so full and I feel so close to you and the things you have been through. I havent felt a closeness like this since I ran across Jordan Bach, but you touch me in a totally different way. Your tender heart comes right through this screen and touches me to the point of tears, happy and sad ones. Thank you SO much for sharing your life, it helps more than you know. Never said this before but my abuse started at 9, and that was 50 years ago..

    • @DrummondCulture
      @DrummondCulture  5 років тому +2

      I’m so glad you came across my channel. The whole point of sharing my deepest emotions on UA-cam is to touch others and help them through their own stories in life.

  • @kylep8304
    @kylep8304 4 роки тому +3

    That took a lot of courage to share. As some one who does not like being touched or out of control due to similar reasons. You are not alone.

  • @scottgarvie5882
    @scottgarvie5882 4 роки тому

    😭 I couldn't watch this all the way through. I'm 58 and memories still hurt. Bless you for being you. X

  • @WMPFRadioFM
    @WMPFRadioFM 4 роки тому +1

    Thanks for sharing your story. Mine happened in my pre-teen years and involved many aggressors. Before I accepted that I am gay, I considered the incidents to be negative, but now I have written them off. The thing I am wrestling with now is having stayed in the closet for 36 years. I knew I enjoyed those experiences (which didn't involve pain), and wish I had more as I grew through my teen years (with people my own age). But the 1980s were not a time for a high school kid to just declare their sexuality. The daily harassment and taunting just for being suspected of being gay were impossible to deal with. Until your video, I had attributed most of my negative sexual behavior to being closeted, but perhaps I did have trauma from some of those early experiences. Although my parents knew of some, only I know the whole story. Hmmmm.... your video has given me something to ponder. Thanks.

  • @alphonse303
    @alphonse303 4 роки тому +3

    This video had me teary eyed from the 1 minute mark all the way to the end. I feel so many things that all I want to do is hug you and cry cause you never should have been through that at 5 years old. But I am glad that are able to move forward a life your life to the best that can be.

  • @zhicw
    @zhicw 7 років тому +6

    Not sure how I came across this but I'm glad I found your channel. Thanks for your honest sharing on topics that someone in a similar situation can easily relate to.

    • @DrummondCulture
      @DrummondCulture  6 років тому +3

      I’ve always wanted to share my stories so that others won’t feel as alone as I did

  • @steveshepherd333
    @steveshepherd333 4 роки тому +1

    What a powerful, silent, and moving video. Thanks for sharing ... what a terrible ordeal to endure at such a young age, and to carry that in silence for all those years ... it must have taken much time for you to decide, much strength of character too, to share your journey with us .. I’m sure that many people watching this storey, would, along with myself, send love to you too ❤️
    Once again, thank you, for sharing with me, and the world 🙏
    Steve, UK 😔

  • @tree8779
    @tree8779 4 роки тому +1

    I came here expecting some different tips on coming out and now I'm speechless. I have my own story too and I hate pedos with a passion.
    Thank you for coming out with this. It really has touched me so deeply

  • @andrefleuriel6693
    @andrefleuriel6693 4 роки тому +5

    I am so glad you made this video. The content of your story is extremely powerful. The way you told the story was a good choice. It allowed me to hear my voice read your cards. That helped me put some space between me and the raw emotions in your story.

  • @19daveh54
    @19daveh54 4 роки тому +4

    I have just stumbled upon your video somehow and i have to say you have such a Sweet manner to you and Strength beyond words. i said to myself i would not get emotional watching but that went out the window after about a minute. To show on youtube what you have suffered and still in some way suffering is so Brave, so Caring that you want to help others and so refreshing to see a guy show his raw emotions . You are a Survivor and if you haven't already found "The One" for you, it will happen. You deserve the absolute best and nothing less. Good Luck and Love from me in the UK 💖

  • @buzzbarnes8691
    @buzzbarnes8691 6 років тому +1

    I am so glad you have put most of this behind you. I am 76 and still am effected by what my farher did to me. I am so sorry you went through that and your mom too. What a sick person he was. My father is dead now and I just try to get on with the rest of the life I have left. Pleast do you best too put this behind you, or it will effect all your relationships.
    THEY ARE NOT YOUR GRADFATHER.
    Yes, your story touched me more than anyone knows The tears falling from my eyes are for you, Sweetheart.. I send you my love and hope for a better future.

  • @awoFalase
    @awoFalase 4 роки тому +2

    May your healing continue to move you forward into the incredible life you deserve.