I have now been married to my Filipina wife for 34 years. She has many of the traits you mentioned in the video. I admit that it took a little while to get used to them. But, its been so worth it. Although, she takes 'Filipina Time' to new levels. I tell her all the time that she would be late for her own funeral. 🤪🤪 In the end, she is still my best friend and I love her to death. I wouldn't trade her for the world.
OMG! I can tell by the way you talk about her that you're friends. I'd like that very much when I get old. I'm a hopeless romantic so I'm in ❤ with the way you ❤ her. She is one fortunate Pinay who is married to a loving man like you. God bless to both of you! 😊
@@javapua Thank you very much for the kind words. Although I do have to say that it is I who the fortunate one. I found a (still) drop-dead gorgeous wife who is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside. ❤❤❤❤
I'm also a Filipina married to a white men.I been here in U.S for 36 years and the way you describe to your wife is kind of rude.Im also a catholic but I dont involved my husband in my religion either.He respect mg religion and I respect his.
@@marieboyd521 I also find he is very disrespectful of his wife's culture. Why don't the children speak there mother's native language ? Why is he so bothered with tampo, which it seems to me, a cultural practice of Philippine women, that assures , they have needed , personal space , to do self care, and process their emotions and feelings in a healthy way ?
I absolutely love it when my wife has Tampo 🤗. This is where I'm glad to be married to a Filipina. Her Tampo doesn't discourage me, it actually motivates me. This is the chance to go fishing, camping, to go shopping for your lures, reels, fishing poles etc... Or get things done around the house without her bothering you, this is the best time to do whatever you want that needs to be done.
@@daddybob6096 im a woman married to a filipino and with 3 kids ..my husband and I dont scream at each other...we just keep our mouth shut when we are upset at each other...we talk to each other again when the bad air leaves..we talk about our strengths and weakness...in short..this tampo thing isnt bad at all....it is way better than flying pans
I always do it to my husband for 32 years if I wanted lots of things to be done in the house I won’t be talking to him and he’ll start doing things. He said he rather hire someone to fix the problems cuz of his job requires traveling. I rather want him to fix the problems to saved money if I can’t do it myself.
My wife and I celebrated 32 years of marriage in August. Nanay and Tatay live with us too. The video calls usually take place in their room. Her youngest sister is here, so Nanay watches grandson sometimes. All and all it is good!
Hope you get to read this. Tampo is caused by something you have done which makes a pinay feels like her heart has been squeezed that it hurts and sometimes goes for several days. Mostly caused by small things like attention, a hug, etc. Guys, all you need to do is reassure her of your love, a kiss, and ask her what she's angry about. In a snap all those hard feelings will be gone. In bisaya just make "puyok".
Different levels and Different benefits from tampo.. depending upon maturity and ground rules set in the beginning. Biggest benefit is controlled emotions and not hurting each other verbally.
I only been married only 6 month to my filipina, My wife hates filipinio time and get mad at me if I am late. Everything else you said is about spot on.. I am still learning about her culture and trying to learn Bisaya at my age is a struggle..lol thank you for your content.
After 10yrs the hardest thing for me is the DOUBTING. She will ask the same question 3x and 4x different times. You can give the same answer every time and it is followed with skepticism But a stranger can answer the same question and it's taking as fact. But she is the hardest working, most loyal and loving person I have ever met.
Sounds like you are a lucky person my friend. Loyal and loving are the best two traits I can think of in a Spouse. Happy for you! The first thing you mentioned I think of as imposter syndrome sort of, When you know someone so well they cannot be an expert but will trust someone they never met. My mom became a Nurse when I was in high school so I never could think of her as knowing medical stuff and always wanted a REAL opinion LOL Thank you for sharing
My Filipina wife to a t. Doing immigration and won't believe a word from me or a lawyer even with paper documents but will veleive everything from her fb group or friends. Great woman love her to death but man I wish she would just listen to me on things I bring up.
Hi! Thank you for an outstanding video! I was born in Southern Philippines and came to the US almost 4 decades ago. I loved being married to an American guy. There are three awesome traits I noticed with most American men I met: Patient, Intelligent, and funny. When I am in a "tampo" mode, I tell my husband, " I do not want to talk to anyone". Tampo or temper tantrum usually is triggered by being upset about events at home and can also be physiological such as hormone changes in females. In my case, not talking would prevent me from saying words that should not have been said in other words, things that I will later regret. It also gives me time to reflect about the destructive torturous effect of a "tampo" on others. So I make sure it only lasts for a few minutes.
The culture is really interesting and at the same time entertaining, lol, but l think it's not generally bad at all. It's a cultural thing that passed on from one generation to another. Hence, l like it and love the culture. You just have to embrace it because you're marrying a human being not a robot, lol.
Most foreigners love our culture and filipino traits, because its character are hospitable, nurturing, humane, resilient, based on fear of God... Not the most ideal one, but i am proud to be a Filipino.... Now am here abroad, i can compare.... we are not perfect, but we just need to perfect some flaws....
I'm married to a Filipina scientist for years now and counting. Blessed with a daughter. Of course, our marriage is not perfect but we make sure to settle differences scientifically and civilly. LOL.
I worked so hard to get rid of the "tampo". I realized it's toxic and can harm a relationship. I now explain why I'm angry and evaluate our actions leading to the disagreement. It's so hard to not revert to tampo when that's a common response you see and experience. Just remembering the silent war in the house when I was young... there's no shouting but oooohhh the tension!
Your own experiences may differ. LOL I have been married to my Filipina wife for 35 years now! Add 2 years of dating her, and that's 37 years with her! About half of your observations apply in my case. The culture of food still separates us. Most Americans love food, but we don't have it dominating our day, and social interactions. There is also a custom gift giving that I can not quite understand. I am really not much interested in receiving gifts. But my wife's relatives insist on giving me gifts, even though it stuff I don't want. My wife loved to receive gifts, even if she never uses it. She will keep unused gifts for years! Overall, when it comes to Love and dedication, she is the most awesome person ever in my world.
There's a saying about gift giving that "it's the thought that counts". So I guess your wife cherishes those gifts even when those aren't of much use to her because she feels loved by being given a gift. Same with my mom, she keeps things for many years. And the fact that her relatives are also giving you gifts is like a sign that you are special to them or you are loved by them.
To refuse an offer is an insult even if you dont like the gift just pretend you like them in that way you show that you are grateful though you're not.
I am engaged to a girl from Antipolo (actually, right near Loreland Farm resort) and we have been friends for 17 years. We are excited for this and we have gone over enough subjects to begin to understand that the transition won't just be immediate. First and foremost, I want her to have independence and individuality. She is educated and witty. We are best friends! We have no secrets and we both have expectations and I want her to have a voice. We also understand that we are a team. She loves to watch me cook when we are video messaging and both of us share the same excitement to prepare and eat cuisine together from our respective countries. LOL, I told her I don't eat heads, though. She is perfect and amazing. I cannot believe how lucky we are and everyday will be a new day of wonder and discovery. However, we both understand that it won't be a fairy tale. We have the blessings of her mother and brothers. Her father has long passed away, as has mine. My (our) house has an office and there's a comfy and private place to video chat with her friends and family and she will need that because I am sure emotions will come out and privacy is paramount. I know her friends and they all have an open invitation to come vacation and stay here (Southwest Florida, 15 minutes from the beaches). I am writing as your video plays. She always seems to have my health as her priority. If I tell her I feel sick, "You need to drink meds". She has a nurturing demeanor and I love that. I am glad you addressed tipping. She doesn't drive. Never has BUT we are gonna teach her far away from the possibility of other motorists. Until then or until she feels like she has the desire to learn - we will have an Uber account. Tipping is pretty important in that regard. Every place she goes now is train, Jeepney, or sidecar motorcycle. So far we don't have a date yet but we have both spent considerable time with K-1 Visa info and whatnot. Here's the only problem we might face; We have been friends for 17 years. 17 PROVABLE years with letters exchanged, social media post memories over a decade old, etc... It wasn't until we both were laid off during the pandemic that we have a moment to slow down and really mutually discover what's been there between us the whole time. However, we have not met **in the two years preceding the application process**. Neither of us believe that's necessary and would only slow down the process of saving for the financial aspect of moving, relocation expenses (we are shipping her belongings here gradually) and we both believe meeting and then being separated again immediately would create emotional distress on us both. Also, we were in a pandemic and arbitrary leisure travel has been extremely difficult and limited. Also, I care for my mother solely. she is 73, just had a double bypass and generally has me assist or help her about ever other day. I don't know what stipulations we will need to follow but travel right now is a practical impossibility. We both lost our jobs for the pandemic and neither of us have a considerable nest egg or vacation time. I make good money and can support her. Right now she is still playing catch up because her new job came with a substantial decrease in pay - so I send her money every week. Not a lot to me, but enough for her not to worry or have empty pockets. I do believe this is the longest reply I have ever typed. I thank you for your valuable information and advice. We are very much in love and cannot go a day without speaking.
@@paulfisher9527 We've been social media friends for all that time. Although we have always had a mutual love and respect for one another. We have exchanged letters and care packages but never thought it would mature to what it is today. It was more or less the allure of just differences of lifestyles and we loved to share with each other. It got serious when we both lost our jobs during the pandemic. What was already there came to the surface and matured rapidly. Then traveling was out of the question regardless of cost because arbitrary travel was out of the question. Plus, not only was I out of work and living on my savings, I was helping her, too. It was little financial impact to me, but crucial for her. We are unmistakably in love - it is mutual. We are both rebuilding our financial positions and neither of us have vacation time yet. It will be another 2.5 years before I get a two week paid vacation. By then we'd like to have her here and be comfortably rooted.
I've been married to a Filipina for 16 years, together for 19 years. We're going through some challenges right now, maybe because we've been through some major changes in life (we deconverted from Christianity together and took the kids out of Christian school and we also moved from the Philippines to the USA in 2017), and I'm middle aged and probably going through mid-life-crisis, but overall, she has turned out to be an amazing wife and mother.
@@sakethief9365 you're absolutely right. She's divorcing me at this time. I'll be financially ruined and she will become very rich soon. NEVER bring a Filipina to the USA. Ever. Lesson fucking learned the hard way.
@@sakethief9365 I’m 54 years old. I don’t have the time to recover. She will get half my assets ($360,000) and half my monthly income ($7000 per month for at least 9 years). My life savings just got halved and my life just got changed forever. I’ll be able to afford to go to Thailand once a year and get 20 year old rental for a few weeks. Life goes on.
I'm a Filipina living in Germany. When we have a party at home, we usually invited our Filipino friends a hour ahead before the venue started😉. You also forgot to mention that everytime Filipinos are invited, you have to cook more foods because they do drag friends along with them whom you haven't seen/met/ totally strangers to you. But because Filipinos are themselves really one of the most hospitable people around the world , it never bothers them having visitors and catered them with everything they have and whole heartedly welcomed everyone
That is true in the Philippines some times half the neighborhood might show up haha, one time I was at a get together and they ran out of rice, chaos as they scrambled to get more made
The nursing bit really struck me. When I was lying in bed with a high fever, I heard my British ex-wife on the phone to her relatives that I had "man flu" and it was so annoying for her to be expected to do something about it. I actually had viral flu and was so weak I could physically not get out of bed. My ex-wife would refuse to even get me a glass of water. Luckily our children have grown up and I could divorce her. Must be nice to actually have a literal partner who supports you in your hours where you most need it instead of simply ignoring you (... and obviously spending all the money you earn - but that goes without saying).
Oh my gosh! Was your wife a Filipina? And she treated you that way? I could just slapped her silly! What a shame! I am married to an American and he is treated like a king! Clean home, great food! I do not spend his money as I have my own bank account. I am a retired biology professor.
@@microsp20lect28 Thank you for pointing this out - my ex-wife is British - I edited my comment to make it clear. If you (even) threaten violence in the UK - consider yourself in jail. Disregardless of the circumstances. Apparently, women are always the victims, whatever the circumstances and facts might be.
The 'lip pointing' and 'eyebrow move' got me cracking. Hahaha. So Filipina, but I got it toned down a bit since I started working abroad. God Bless your family🙏
Am married to an Australian for 44 yrs now and a Grandparent to 9 Granddaughters and 1 Grandson and still happily married . I have been living here in Sydney all of my marriage life.🇦🇺👍👍👍🇵🇭👍👍👍
Gosh, you've really hit the nail on the head. I've been dating my Filipina girlfriend for almost a year now, and we are still sooooo in love with each other and that hasn't waned or changed since the beginning. I love her so much and can't wait to spend the rest of my life with her. But yeah, all of your points are spot on. My girlfriend grew up near Ozamiz and 90% of her family still live there with a few on other islands or elsewhere in the world, so Bisaya is her native language and she's been teaching me the basics. It's really a beautiful language in my opinion and learning that has really made me realize English is stupid, haha. Anyways, great video!
Spot on with everything but would like to add that Filipino Time also means staying late (long after the completion of the party). And this is especially true when the host invites you to stay longer to actually "party".
@@DrLawaytravels My niece and her family are living in Davao close to the airport. Her mom (my sister) and her family are living in General Santos. Hoping to visit soon. Been to Davao multiple times, nice place. Halong and God bless you and your family!👍🙏
I was married to a wonderful Navy Chief and I miss him so much when he died at the hospital and on my lap in 1994. I cuddled him till he took his last breath. Anyway, the first month of our marriage, after argument, he could not stand the quiet and formal treatment I gave him for a day . He said in the Navy for 28 yrs, he trained including officers , thousands of tough personnels… as well as He represented America all over different countries. He stopped me from the kitchen and said… “ Honey, we need to talk…” He sure was a good leader and ambassador of the United States! That was the last and only tampo I ever had. We went back to honeymoon stage for yrs to come. I miss my chief so very much in Heaven. Most Filipinas ,,, till death .. not even that … do we part with our husbands. And we spoiled them in every way because we were trained that way by our Nanays on how to keep our husbands content snd happy. As long as they are good and kind yo us. If you are abusive! Watch out… one day, you’ll find out ,your wife is gone . We can not tolerate pain, snd we , we’ll most of us. We don’t take that inferiority crap!
The same with us men. We will leave you as soon as you're abusive, and you sound like you where very abusive to this man with your silent treatment. I wonder what kind of abuse you also put him through. You should never have a man again with your abusive behavior...
You're exactly right about the tipping. I'm a generous tipper and it makes my Filipina wife mad whenever I leave a tip, even when the service is excellent. She also does all of the facial expressions that you mentioned, plus she does the head nod when pointing to something. One last thing, I get the silent treatment whenever she gets mad at me, so I'm all too familiar with that phenomenon. That's when I feel like I'm living with a spoiled brat. In addition, apparently Filipinos/Filipinas have absolutely no concept of time. This is probably the one aspect of our marriage that causes the most problems. Whenever we need to be somewhere at a specific time, I have to trick her and tell her that we need to be there at least 30 minutes before we're actually supposed to arrive.
My husband and I cracked up watching your podcast about 'married to a Filipina'. We both agreed that you hit the bull's eyes on sign language, tampo, taking care of a sick family member, scolding the kids and shopping habits. Just wondering if you could make a video on house cleaning, washing the dishes, personal hygiene (like washing hands before eating, praying before meals), and laundry, like not wearing clothes after use. It took me some time to adjust to wearing my winter jacket several times without washing it. Clothes for the house and clothes for going out, pyjamas and the ritual involve before bed. I think these differences might be funny, especially how you tell stories. All the very best. Watching your videos from China.
I'm an American and I fully support not tipping. Hopefully I get to meet the Filipina I've been talking to soon. First woman in forever that I could see myself marrying. Doesn't want me to send her money, has tampo occasionally, impatient and lovely and nurturing. I wish I knew more about bringing her to the US.
I work with a lot of Filipinos and they are all lovely, family orientated and respectful. I did have a coworker and was subjected to tampo and it was horrible. Weeks of silent treatment took its toll and ruined what was once a great working relationship. I am Canadian and not used to it. Other than that, I have had a great working relationship with them.
I have never experienced tampo, and I have worked with lots of Filipinos . So, I have learned from you, this cultural practice is bought into the workplace also. Is tampo practiced by Filipino women with everybody, meaning in the presence of women ? I thought it only occurred in relationships with husband and wives. I still feel personally, I wouldn't care if someone didn't speak to me for periods of time. I wouldn't make tampo, about myself. In the workplace , as long as we had professional communication, with each other, concerning work, then, that's the baseline I go by. As an outsider, tampo, seems like a space one needs to go, for self care, and mental health well being to work issues out, that may not even have nothing to do with you.
@@frugalityishername827 Tampo has NO GENDER. The closest Engish term is SILENT TREATMENT. But they're still around and hovering out and about.with the person. Between lovers, TAMPO needs CARIÑO. . . . LOL... Now that's another word to discover. Spanish word origin. It's like when one is upset and giving you a silent treatment ( TAMPO) you go on a : pleasing mode" (CARIÑO)
@@ky-effect2717 yikes. If that is how she handles communicating then she either has to change that or it won't work. A lifetime of silent treatment? No thanks.
I see your wearing a Vandy hat my friend. Nice to see a Nashvillian making his way in the Philippines. I'll definitely check out more of your videos. I plan on making a trip to visit there next year.
We (me and my German husband) can totally relate to your experiences - the sign language, the 'tampo' (I wonder if there is an english word for it), etc. We're living here permanently now for 8 yrs, and my husband loves it here. Thanks for sharing your experiences:)
@@teresafgiesecke Or childish behavior. Like when a child doesn’t get his/her way or is ignored and has a temper tantrum. Or some extreme quiet moodiness .
Yes indeed my friend, you hit the nail on the head! Spot on! 😂, one thing you forgot is; your rice purchases greatly increase! And also the great knowledge of All the different varieties of rice! God Bless them all, truly a Great Nation of folks!
We moved to Cebu City eight years ago from Southern California. I am married to a Cebuana, which has certainly made the transition easier because she is tri-lingual. Your wife and mine have a lot of similarities, but also a few differences. The nurturing part is definitely a similarity. The biggest differences have to do with personality and money. My wife has no filter on her mouth. It is not uncommon for her to shout f-bombs in my direction over silly disagreements. But then I will clam up and smile at her and she always comes around and apologizes. She explained that it is just her way, so I have to understand her "attitude". Also, a big difference is that my wife doesn't understand anything about saving money. She spends every peso that comes into her possession, so you are lucky there compared to me.
@Max Effort. Well there you go Max, we have been married, 26 years and have our home at Sogod Cebu. I love my wife, she's the best woman i have ever met in my long life. She never swears at me, (though she does swear sometimes) and, she is great with saving money, ( before, i was a bit careless) she has taught me how to be careful with money. She knows the true value of the dollar. I have learnt a lot from her and i like to think she has also learned about life and people, from me. I'm a Veteran Soldier, and former Highway Cop so i think i'm pretty sensible about things, which compliments our relationship. Hope to meet you one day, when we come back after the so called pandemic. Cheers, Max, Regards Bob, New Zealand.
At least half of Bisayan- speaking Filipinos have no filters on their mouth. We don’t sugar-coat. But in public and work places I think it’s a toned down. When I started working that’s one of my biggest problems. People say nice to you but gossip about you when you’re not around.
@@champagneshade6249 You are correct. This is a big red flag. I would never accept a woman cursing at me in a relationship. This is a sign of a weak man.
Brother man I just described to your videos I am with a Filipina woman and everything you just said is exactly true oh my God I'm still laughing my ass off thank you for being real Doc I will be watching for your future videos
American women do Tampo also, just usually not for as long. The point of Tampo is for the man to "confess" his sins by continuously asking her if "x" is the reason she's angry and the goal is for the man to be trained to always ask himself if what he's doing will upset his woman. Yes, I'm generalizing, but not by much.
Tampo! I was about to propose and then I had my first experience of that! Needless to say the Ring stayed in my pocket. It will take time and effort to Teach her that communication is actually easy with talking! And Silent treatment is a very Childish response to anything! Thanks for the video
As a Filipina, the "tampo" is 100% true. Communication is key! Or just let us simmer down with our emotions, but dont wait too long doing nothing. Keep probing of what's wrong but do it sweetly!
Nope, not me! I am as vocal as the typical Western woman. Btw, my mother is the same way. We're born and raised in Mindanao. We have no time for unnecessary and passive-aggressive second guessing.
Yes, there’s definitely a formula that works and one that fails badly also. I personally respect Tampo. Some see it as childish but I think it’s smart to cool down and the protocol for handling this can be done in a healthy way also. Foreign men need to learn the system, is my position on the topic. It’s far better than the screaming and nagging that western women do.
New subscriber here! Watching this made me LOL cause it’s so true😂 I was born in the PI but came to the US at the age of 8. Even though I grew up here I have some of these traits and I see it with my parents of course. I think my family is in the minority with “Filipino time.” My dad is very punctual and a lot of times super early to appointments and social gatherings. Sometimes so early we have to wait to get called for an appointment that’s scheduled an hour later😂 About spending money. There are a lot of Filipinos who also will spend tons on brand names. I have aunts who spend thousands on brand name bags, shoes, etc. Luckily my parents were never that extreme and didn’t care for brand names. I look forward to more posts about the Philippines. Last time I visited was 2015!
I think that in every culture there's this rule that whenever you get past to the weirdest parts.. It's all gonna be fine and things will work out pretty well.. That is, if you truly love and care for that certain person.
♥️TAMPO IS JUST THE WAY OF AVOIDING ARGUMENTS!!! LETTING IT GO... OR HUGGING HER...& I LOVE YOU SO MUCH... IN SHORT...ASSURANCE....HOW MUCH... SHE MEANT TO YOU😂😂😂❤️❤️❤️SWEET FILIPINAS....WEAKNESS!!!🥰
In the United States communication mostly takes place verbally but in the Philippines it also includes gestures, muttered sounds, sign language (not the standard ASL) etc.
First things first. We need to learn the basic language. Too many can't communicate but want to be with women abroad. It would help to learn some words.
the non verbal communication using eyebrows and pointed lips made me laughed so hard. i realized we filipinos are the only species on this planet that use those kind of unique sign language. the tender loving care we give to our sick family members is one thing that i could say is truly among the best characters of pinoys.
Lip pointing - in which protruding lips precede an eye gaze toward the area of interest - has been observed in people from Puerto Rico, Panama, Laos, and Africa,.✌️😎🇵🇭
Hahaha! Your pointing with the lips and the nursing mode cracked me up and made me subscribe man! You can take us out from our Philippines but you can not take the Philippines from all of us! Aren’t you lucky???!!!! We don’t even have to drink alcohol to be happy! We’re just happy people!
Wow thank you for covering tampo! My fiancée does this all the time and it drives me crazy because im always trying hard to understand her but there's just silence for days. I had no idea this was that comon or even had a name!
I recently went through a 5x bypass myself. While I was waiting for it in the hospital a young male Filipino nurse came into my room about 6 AM to get my day started. It was still dark and he did not turn the light on. From his first words as he crossed the threshold I could tell he was Filipino, So I responded with Kumusta, magandang umaga. He backed out of the room, and when he came back in he said he had to check the name on the door to ensure he was in the correct room, as it showed a "Schwartz" on the door. 🤣🤣
Found my Filipina here in the states, 18 years later we are still going. Wonderful women and wife. She's a nurse and saved my mother's life 2 to 3 times already. SI second most of your points. We struggled early on with the cultural differences and finances, but somehow we made this far. I'd add, telling a little white lie is not against their culture and can set you off at times. When she is late she says "I'm on Filipino time".
I've experienced a lot of this already from my Filipina girlfriend when it comes to describing their traits and customs, it can get a bit tense at times but in the end they're worth it because they're super sweet and cute as a button 😊🥰❤
Good video. Thank you (salamat). Filipino (formal) can refer to both male and female, while Filipina is an informal way to address female. Man, you are spot on about the lip pointing.
My wife is from La Union. She used to always insist on getting a professional to fix everything and watching every penny. But when money got tight I did it myself. In hind sight I should never have shown her I can fix anything because now she never worries about breaking anything. I’m MR FIX IT to her 😂😂😂. But she’s learning fast it always amazes me how fast she learns 👍
You are correct 100% im not married yet but my GF does use facial sign language. They do take care of you when your sick. In the morning i wake up all i hear ( kumain ka na ba amusal ) in tagalog means did i eat breakfast 4 to 5 times before i respond.. learn tagalog much as u can is plus cuz she does talk to her family in Tagalog and you will know if they talking mess about you 😊
Met my very loving , young wife in 2010, married in 2017, pandemic ruined me in 2020... Love goes out the window when money stops coming through the door.
😂 it's hilarious yall get angry when we say these foreign girls are only with you for your foreign dollars. Very VERY few women will tolerate a non provider. As another comment above mentioned its a contract. They provide beauty and their youth and yall provide the money.
@@msladylydia3745 I'm 70 and busting my ass to be a "provider" . Not all women are as mercenary as you . However many of them forget their marriage vows!
love your channel great stuff,had 2 pilipina girlfriends long term in Australia,didn’t work out ended up marrying Japanese been married 20 years they are pretty no real dramas but the pilipina women are very pretty
I've been married for almost 30 years to Philippina. You forgot about the self-perpetuating rage. It will start with mild anger about something, then they get mad because they are angry, and more mad because they are more angry. So it spirals out of her control. At that point there's no common sense. They can yell and say nonsensical things (I hear some gals throw and smash things) and nothing can calm them down. In my case, I just politely leave the area. Not the house, just the area. She knows why I walk away and doesn't fault me for doing so. When they calm down then they can apologize if they were in the wrong, but not before.
My wife does this also. I have a small suitcase next to the door. When she gets out of control i go to a hotel and watch you tube videos. She thinks i am cheating on her.
Sounds like you have a unique situation because they're not all like that I haven't encountered any hot throwing yelling and screaming phillipina definitely not mine. The tampo happens occasionally but she gets over that and I just let it happen I used to try and ask her what was wrong but when she goes silent I just let her go that way. I personally haven't experienced any yelling and screaming or throwing of heavy objects you must be lucky
I’ve been married to my japanese husband for 35 yrs,yes that is all true,nursing them when sick,filipina couldn’t have enough sleep for we are worried for them,and specially we sure that my family will have a balance food .Time is so strict here in japan!
Best way to break tampo is to give them a little space. You don't need to back down from your position or even admit you were wrong. Act like it doesn't bother you, and just be sweet to her like normal. After that the goal is to make her smile or laugh. Once you can get her to laugh, she knows you have broken her. She will try to maintain tampo for a while, but as long as you can get her to laugh, it's pretty much over
It's all about how you would arrange things together.I definitely explain and asked my hubby to have his own place for his things.Giving rules and roles in everyday living.It is all about maintaining the house in our issue because we don't have kids around.We help each other,and yes I do agree about fixing broken things at home instead of buying new,as Filipinos we like recycling ♻️ There are similar things in many ways but it is still depends on how they have been brought up too or place where they grew up.Time is gold for most of Filipinos who has experienced to work overseas or traveled ,I am not in Filipino time as well.Thanks for this video!
"Tampo" mostly springs from trivial things, e.g., failing on the part of the husband to notice her new hairdo or dress, failing to remember your first date, failing to buy her the food you promised her before leaving home, or failing to kiss her during your anniversary. Anything that causes her to think she is no longer important in your life can cause tampo. Remedy: A little caressing and a whisper of affection. (She pretends not to like your gesture, but deep inside, she likes it).
Me and my wife was laughing so hard while watching your vlog.love it!😅 Talking about the time diff between US and PI.i just add or deduct 3hrs from US time (I.E. 8pm US.PI time would be 11am. 8am US time,PI time would be 11pm).
I think tampo is a general women traits. The only difference is that an Americana for example would tell you that she is upset and why. But a Filipina would show you that she is upset and wants you to figure out what you did wrong.
Everything you mentioned is soooo true 😂 it’s funny actually in one way but can be extremely frustrating at the same time regarding some things… Plus don’t forget that our Body language and how we westerners articulate ourselves is often very offensive to Filipinos - just think of the “pointing finger, or raising our arms or voice” to emphasize something that we need them to understand or whatever..that’s a huge thing to them and because to us it is “ normal “ it can cause sometimes very serious issues if a person doesn’t understand the cultural differences and it’s important that both parties should be aware of this…just saying. They are all about “emotions” and our analytical and logical approach to certain things has little impact / effect in the way they see and do things in many instances… especially when trying to discuss certain aspects of western life. Ohh and you forgot to mention that they can have a temper 🫣, which is, second to none 😂 and yet they are so very loving & caring - go figure that one out 🤷♂️ Overall life can and is for me, so much better being married to a Filipina 🥰 but it is, certainly not without many challenges especially at the beginning…which make of corse, everything so much more fun 🥳 I love my wife with all my faults 😉 Merry Christmas to you all 🎉
Filipinas are not that different culturally than other Asian cultures in that it's FAMILY, FAMILY, and more FAMILY! They come with the package. They will be in constant communication no matter situation almost daily. If you are not use to a large family or didn't grow up in this type of situation it's going to be VERY difficult to adjust. It's not going to be just the two of you EVER!
Did you forget that saying goodbye after party is also takes an hour before you actually leave? The still sharing story on the way to the door and still talking and husband says I better sit down it’s takes another hour .
You are exactly correct about how things. She is like my wife from visyia area. When she gets angry then she will not talk for weeks. She likes to spend my money on anything she wants, but can be cheap when I try to be generous for what people provide. As far as fixing things she thinks she is a engineer and is the only one who can do it correctly. Best thing is to stay out of her way!!!!
I have now been married to my Filipina wife for 34 years. She has many of the traits you mentioned in the video. I admit that it took a little while to get used to them. But, its been so worth it. Although, she takes 'Filipina Time' to new levels. I tell her all the time that she would be late for her own funeral. 🤪🤪 In the end, she is still my best friend and I love her to death. I wouldn't trade her for the world.
I'm going to Philippines to meet a girl I found online. I'm glad you found your wife there!
How is the sex?
Trips are very expensive to go there
OMG! I can tell by the way you talk about her that you're friends. I'd like that very much when I get old. I'm a hopeless romantic so I'm in ❤ with the way you ❤ her. She is one fortunate Pinay who is married to a loving man like you. God bless to both of you! 😊
@@javapua Thank you very much for the kind words. Although I do have to say that it is I who the fortunate one. I found a (still) drop-dead gorgeous wife who is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside. ❤❤❤❤
I have been married for 15 years. First 8 years we lived in the states. After my retirement we moved back to Batangas. Best decision of my life.
very nice. I have not visited there yet but I am told that I really need to check it out.
Sounds wonderful. I'll be following your example soon.
@@DrLawaytravels Your welcome here in our province😊
I'm also a Filipina married to a white men.I been here in U.S for 36 years and the way you describe to your wife is kind of rude.Im also a catholic but I dont involved my husband in my religion either.He respect mg religion and I respect his.
@@marieboyd521 I also find he is very disrespectful of his wife's culture. Why don't the children speak there mother's native language ? Why is he so bothered with tampo, which it seems to me, a cultural practice of Philippine women, that assures , they have needed , personal space , to do self care, and process their emotions and feelings in a healthy way ?
I absolutely love it when my wife has Tampo 🤗. This is where I'm glad to be married to a Filipina. Her Tampo doesn't discourage me, it actually motivates me. This is the chance to go fishing, camping, to go shopping for your lures, reels, fishing poles etc... Or get things done around the house without her bothering you, this is the best time to do whatever you want that needs to be done.
Tampo I guess is way better than shouting or screaming at each other. It is a cultural thing coz flips are not very confrontational in general.
@DialNFish. Hahaha. Join the club. LoL.
@@danieldelacruz645 You are right Daniel, i lived on Cebu for several years, thats what i found too. Bob.
@@daddybob6096 im a woman married to a filipino and with 3 kids ..my husband and I dont scream at each other...we just keep our mouth shut when we are upset at each other...we talk to each other again when the bad air leaves..we talk about our strengths and weakness...in short..this tampo thing isnt bad at all....it is way better than flying pans
I always do it to my husband for 32 years if I wanted lots of things to be done in the house I won’t be talking to him and he’ll start doing things. He said he rather hire someone to fix the problems cuz of his job requires traveling. I rather want him to fix the problems to saved money if I can’t do it myself.
Been married to my pinay for 32yrs. She's my best friend and love of my life. What a cook. Never regret it one bit.
yeah I have no regrets as well
10 yrs ago I made the best decision of my life.....I couldn't be happier
My wife and I celebrated 32 years of marriage in August. Nanay and Tatay live with us too. The video calls usually take place in their room. Her youngest sister is here, so Nanay watches grandson sometimes. All and all it is good!
Hope you get to read this. Tampo is caused by something you have done which makes a pinay feels like her heart has been squeezed that it hurts and sometimes goes for several days. Mostly caused by small things like attention, a hug, etc. Guys, all you need to do is reassure her of your love, a kiss, and ask her what she's angry about. In a snap all those hard feelings will be gone. In bisaya just make "puyok".
Different levels and Different benefits from tampo.. depending upon maturity and ground rules set in the beginning. Biggest benefit is controlled emotions and not hurting each other verbally.
I only been married only 6 month to my filipina, My wife hates filipinio time and get mad at me if I am late. Everything else you said is about spot on.. I am still learning about her culture and trying to learn Bisaya at my age is a struggle..lol thank you for your content.
After 10yrs the hardest thing for me is the DOUBTING. She will ask the same question 3x and 4x different times. You can give the same answer every time and it is followed with skepticism But a stranger can answer the same question and it's taking as fact.
But she is the hardest working, most loyal and loving person I have ever met.
Sounds like you are a lucky person my friend. Loyal and loving are the best two traits I can think of in a Spouse. Happy for you! The first thing you mentioned I think of as imposter syndrome sort of, When you know someone so well they cannot be an expert but will trust someone they never met. My mom became a Nurse when I was in high school so I never could think of her as knowing medical stuff and always wanted a REAL opinion LOL Thank you for sharing
You just described my wife. Never believes me, even with obvious things, but will believe anything she reads on FB.
💯🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Absolutely true... #brothersalign #BLESSED
My Filipina wife to a t. Doing immigration and won't believe a word from me or a lawyer even with paper documents but will veleive everything from her fb group or friends. Great woman love her to death but man I wish she would just listen to me on things I bring up.
@@realMaxEffort maybe you should communicate through facebook then
Hi! Thank you for an outstanding video! I was born in Southern Philippines and came to the US almost 4 decades ago. I loved being married to an American guy. There are three awesome traits I noticed with most American men I met: Patient, Intelligent, and funny. When I am in a "tampo" mode, I tell my husband, " I do not want to talk to anyone". Tampo or temper tantrum usually is triggered by being upset about events at home and can also be physiological such as hormone changes in females. In my case, not talking would prevent me from saying words that should not have been said in other words, things that I will later regret. It also gives me time to reflect about the destructive torturous effect of a "tampo" on others. So I make sure it only lasts for a few minutes.
Do you mean that you think it is okay to abuse men with your Tampo?
I was laughing out loud about the eyebrow response! Hilarious
The culture is really interesting and at the same time entertaining, lol, but l think it's not generally bad at all. It's a cultural thing that passed on from one generation to another. Hence, l like it and love the culture. You just have to embrace it because you're marrying a human being not a robot, lol.
I really enjoy the culture it is what makes the Philippines special in my eyes
@@DrLawaytravels oh yes, l can see that in your gestures and it seems like you really embraced it as it part now of your daily life. Hehehehe.
Hahaha
Most foreigners love our culture and filipino traits, because its character are hospitable, nurturing, humane, resilient, based on fear of God... Not the most ideal one, but i am proud to be a Filipino.... Now am here abroad, i can compare.... we are not perfect, but we just need to perfect some flaws....
🤣🤣👍👍👍🇵🇭🇵🇭🇵🇭
I'm married to a Filipina scientist for years now and counting. Blessed with a daughter. Of course, our marriage is not perfect but we make sure to settle differences scientifically and civilly. LOL.
If she’s a Filipina scientist, she must be expertly Filipina!
I worked so hard to get rid of the "tampo". I realized it's toxic and can harm a relationship. I now explain why I'm angry and evaluate our actions leading to the disagreement. It's so hard to not revert to tampo when that's a common response you see and experience. Just remembering the silent war in the house when I was young... there's no shouting but oooohhh the tension!
Good. I said flat out, no tampo. She agreed. Direct communications. Strong relationship.
Laughed out loud watching this video 😂
Can relate to all the Filipina traits ❤️
Thank you so much!
Your own experiences may differ. LOL
I have been married to my Filipina wife for 35 years now! Add 2 years of dating her, and that's 37 years with her! About half of your observations apply in my case.
The culture of food still separates us. Most Americans love food, but we don't have it dominating our day, and social interactions.
There is also a custom gift giving that I can not quite understand. I am really not much interested in receiving gifts. But my wife's relatives insist on giving me gifts, even though it stuff I don't want. My wife loved to receive gifts, even if she never uses it. She will keep unused gifts for years!
Overall, when it comes to Love and dedication, she is the most awesome person ever in my world.
There's a saying about gift giving that "it's the thought that counts". So I guess your wife cherishes those gifts even when those aren't of much use to her because she feels loved by being given a gift. Same with my mom, she keeps things for many years. And the fact that her relatives are also giving you gifts is like a sign that you are special to them or you are loved by them.
@@pelarcorenzjr.2255 Make it a simple gift - One ROSE! That's it!
To refuse an offer is an insult even if you dont like the gift just pretend you like them in that way you show that you are grateful though you're not.
Concerning the video chat, imagine a group call with 10 different people reciting the Rosary every night.
I am engaged to a girl from Antipolo (actually, right near Loreland Farm resort) and we have been friends for 17 years. We are excited for this and we have gone over enough subjects to begin to understand that the transition won't just be immediate. First and foremost, I want her to have independence and individuality. She is educated and witty. We are best friends! We have no secrets and we both have expectations and I want her to have a voice. We also understand that we are a team. She loves to watch me cook when we are video messaging and both of us share the same excitement to prepare and eat cuisine together from our respective countries. LOL, I told her I don't eat heads, though. She is perfect and amazing. I cannot believe how lucky we are and everyday will be a new day of wonder and discovery. However, we both understand that it won't be a fairy tale. We have the blessings of her mother and brothers. Her father has long passed away, as has mine. My (our) house has an office and there's a comfy and private place to video chat with her friends and family and she will need that because I am sure emotions will come out and privacy is paramount. I know her friends and they all have an open invitation to come vacation and stay here (Southwest Florida, 15 minutes from the beaches). I am writing as your video plays. She always seems to have my health as her priority. If I tell her I feel sick, "You need to drink meds". She has a nurturing demeanor and I love that. I am glad you addressed tipping. She doesn't drive. Never has BUT we are gonna teach her far away from the possibility of other motorists. Until then or until she feels like she has the desire to learn - we will have an Uber account. Tipping is pretty important in that regard. Every place she goes now is train, Jeepney, or sidecar motorcycle. So far we don't have a date yet but we have both spent considerable time with K-1 Visa info and whatnot. Here's the only problem we might face; We have been friends for 17 years. 17 PROVABLE years with letters exchanged, social media post memories over a decade old, etc... It wasn't until we both were laid off during the pandemic that we have a moment to slow down and really mutually discover what's been there between us the whole time. However, we have not met **in the two years preceding the application process**. Neither of us believe that's necessary and would only slow down the process of saving for the financial aspect of moving, relocation expenses (we are shipping her belongings here gradually) and we both believe meeting and then being separated again immediately would create emotional distress on us both. Also, we were in a pandemic and arbitrary leisure travel has been extremely difficult and limited. Also, I care for my mother solely. she is 73, just had a double bypass and generally has me assist or help her about ever other day. I don't know what stipulations we will need to follow but travel right now is a practical impossibility. We both lost our jobs for the pandemic and neither of us have a considerable nest egg or vacation time. I make good money and can support her. Right now she is still playing catch up because her new job came with a substantial decrease in pay - so I send her money every week. Not a lot to me, but enough for her not to worry or have empty pockets. I do believe this is the longest reply I have ever typed. I thank you for your valuable information and advice. We are very much in love and cannot go a day without speaking.
It's a good novel tom.you can write good short story books.
Kenny I would say you are like a married couple now just have to make it official congratulations and good luck don’t let your soul mate get away
wow .. good
Geeeezz. You’ve never met in person? Whats taken so long. Tickets aren’t expensive for love
@@paulfisher9527 We've been social media friends for all that time. Although we have always had a mutual love and respect for one another. We have exchanged letters and care packages but never thought it would mature to what it is today. It was more or less the allure of just differences of lifestyles and we loved to share with each other. It got serious when we both lost our jobs during the pandemic. What was already there came to the surface and matured rapidly. Then traveling was out of the question regardless of cost because arbitrary travel was out of the question. Plus, not only was I out of work and living on my savings, I was helping her, too. It was little financial impact to me, but crucial for her. We are unmistakably in love - it is mutual. We are both rebuilding our financial positions and neither of us have vacation time yet. It will be another 2.5 years before I get a two week paid vacation. By then we'd like to have her here and be comfortably rooted.
🤣🤣🤣thank you!!1 I just started dating a Filipina and you just made a lot of things make sense!
I've been married to a Filipina for 16 years, together for 19 years. We're going through some challenges right now, maybe because we've been through some major changes in life (we deconverted from Christianity together and took the kids out of Christian school and we also moved from the Philippines to the USA in 2017), and I'm middle aged and probably going through mid-life-crisis, but overall, she has turned out to be an amazing wife and mother.
Hope you guys bring back God into your life again. It helped mine a lot.
Moving to the USA was the beggening of the problems im gonna bet. Hope it works out
@@sakethief9365 you're absolutely right. She's divorcing me at this time. I'll be financially ruined and she will become very rich soon. NEVER bring a Filipina to the USA. Ever. Lesson fucking learned the hard way.
@@Scruffers2011 Holy F bro. That’s terrible I hope you recover throughly
@@sakethief9365 I’m 54 years old. I don’t have the time to recover. She will get half my assets ($360,000) and half my monthly income ($7000 per month for at least 9 years). My life savings just got halved and my life just got changed forever. I’ll be able to afford to go to Thailand once a year and get 20 year old rental for a few weeks. Life goes on.
I am dating a filipina and learning all about the filipino culture. Thank you for your wisdom and insights. Look forward to hearing more from you.
I'm a Filipina living in Germany. When we have a party at home, we usually invited our Filipino friends a hour ahead before the venue started😉. You also forgot to mention that everytime Filipinos are invited, you have to cook more foods because they do drag friends along with them whom you haven't seen/met/ totally strangers to you. But because Filipinos are themselves really one of the most hospitable people around the world , it never bothers them having visitors and catered them with everything they have and whole heartedly welcomed everyone
That is true in the Philippines some times half the neighborhood might show up haha, one time I was at a get together and they ran out of rice, chaos as they scrambled to get more made
10001% true
@@DrLawaytravels, must have been some party if they actually ran out of rice.
Did it ever dawn on you that they all want FREE FOOD?
@@wildbill562 well, yeah. Everybody likes good, free food.
Oh my gosh. What a wonderful endearing vid 😂
The nursing bit really struck me. When I was lying in bed with a high fever, I heard my British ex-wife on the phone to her relatives that I had "man flu" and it was so annoying for her to be expected to do something about it. I actually had viral flu and was so weak I could physically not get out of bed. My ex-wife would refuse to even get me a glass of water. Luckily our children have grown up and I could divorce her. Must be nice to actually have a literal partner who supports you in your hours where you most need it instead of simply ignoring you (... and obviously spending all the money you earn - but that goes without saying).
Oh my gosh! Was your wife a Filipina? And she treated you that way? I could just slapped her silly! What a shame! I am married to an American and he is treated like a king! Clean home, great food! I do not spend his money as I have my own bank account. I am a retired biology professor.
@@microsp20lect28 Thank you for pointing this out - my ex-wife is British - I edited my comment to make it clear. If you (even) threaten violence in the UK - consider yourself in jail. Disregardless of the circumstances. Apparently, women are always the victims, whatever the circumstances and facts might be.
same experience till i met my Pilipino gf now we happy
@@martinh8784 There are things in life that will not change overnight and one of those is the victim mentality (and entitlement). Very unfortunate.
Unfortunately, til death do us part excludes commitment and caretaker to some people.
OMG, this is very funny dude! The non-verbal communication is spot on. I enjoyed it, thanks! Also from Digos here.
The 'lip pointing' and 'eyebrow move' got me cracking. Hahaha. So Filipina, but I got it toned down a bit since I started working abroad.
God Bless your family🙏
Am married to an Australian for 44 yrs now and a Grandparent to 9 Granddaughters and 1 Grandson and still happily married . I have been living here in Sydney all of my marriage life.🇦🇺👍👍👍🇵🇭👍👍👍
Wow 10 grandchildren, congrats!
@@DrLawaytravels Thank you heaps. 👍👍👍🇦🇺👍👍👍🇵🇭🙏🙏🙏
I want marry fillipena also
Hope I get
I m Sydney also liverpool
Gosh, you've really hit the nail on the head. I've been dating my Filipina girlfriend for almost a year now, and we are still sooooo in love with each other and that hasn't waned or changed since the beginning. I love her so much and can't wait to spend the rest of my life with her. But yeah, all of your points are spot on. My girlfriend grew up near Ozamiz and 90% of her family still live there with a few on other islands or elsewhere in the world, so Bisaya is her native language and she's been teaching me the basics. It's really a beautiful language in my opinion and learning that has really made me realize English is stupid, haha. Anyways, great video!
Wow, you described my wife perfectly. She is Visayas. I love her and her family! What a great adventure!
Spot on with everything but would like to add that Filipino Time also means staying late (long after the completion of the party). And this is especially true when the host invites you to stay longer to actually "party".
Thanks!
Thank You Lady Grace for the support!
This is soooo funny! Really spot on, especially that one about eyebrows and lip pointing. Laughed so hard 😂
Hahaha! Very true. Thank you for masterfully navigating into our culture. -- From Pinay living in California🌹👍
Thanks for watching!
@@DrLawaytravels My niece and her family are living in Davao close to the airport. Her mom (my sister) and her family are living in General Santos. Hoping to visit soon. Been to Davao multiple times, nice place. Halong and God bless you and your family!👍🙏
I was married to a wonderful Navy Chief and I miss him so much when he died at the hospital and on my lap in 1994. I cuddled him till he took his last breath.
Anyway, the first month of our marriage, after argument, he could not stand the quiet and formal treatment I gave him for a day .
He said in the Navy for 28 yrs, he trained including officers , thousands of tough personnels… as well as He represented America all over different countries. He stopped me from the kitchen and said… “ Honey, we need to talk…” He sure was a good leader and ambassador of the United States! That was the last and only tampo I ever had.
We went back to honeymoon stage for yrs to come. I miss my chief so very much in Heaven. Most Filipinas ,,, till death .. not even that … do we part with our husbands. And we spoiled them in every way because we were trained that way by our Nanays on how to keep our husbands content snd happy. As long as they are good and kind yo us.
If you are abusive! Watch out… one day, you’ll find out ,your wife is gone . We can not tolerate pain, snd we , we’ll most of us. We don’t take that inferiority crap!
Agree..we carry grudges to grave.
The same with us men. We will leave you as soon as you're abusive, and you sound like you where very abusive to this man with your silent treatment. I wonder what kind of abuse you also put him through.
You should never have a man again with your abusive behavior...
So sorry😭😭😪😪😪
Everything you’re explaining is what makes me them better options.
You're exactly right about the tipping. I'm a generous tipper and it makes my Filipina wife mad whenever I leave a tip, even when the service is excellent. She also does all of the facial expressions that you mentioned, plus she does the head nod when pointing to something. One last thing, I get the silent treatment whenever she gets mad at me, so I'm all too familiar with that phenomenon. That's when I feel like I'm living with a spoiled brat. In addition, apparently Filipinos/Filipinas have absolutely no concept of time. This is probably the one aspect of our marriage that causes the most problems. Whenever we need to be somewhere at a specific time, I have to trick her and tell her that we need to be there at least 30 minutes before we're actually supposed to arrive.
Hahahah.. I like the tricking on time
Super Thanks For This Video.
My husband and I cracked up watching your podcast about 'married to a Filipina'. We both agreed that you hit the bull's eyes on sign language, tampo, taking care of a sick family member, scolding the kids and shopping habits.
Just wondering if you could make a video on house cleaning, washing the dishes, personal hygiene (like washing hands before eating, praying before meals), and laundry, like not wearing clothes after use. It took me some time to adjust to wearing my winter jacket several times without washing it. Clothes for the house and clothes for going out, pyjamas and the ritual involve before bed. I think these differences might be funny, especially how you tell stories. All the very best. Watching your videos from China.
I'm an American and I fully support not tipping. Hopefully I get to meet the Filipina I've been talking to soon. First woman in forever that I could see myself marrying. Doesn't want me to send her money, has tampo occasionally, impatient and lovely and nurturing.
I wish I knew more about bringing her to the US.
I work with a lot of Filipinos and they are all lovely, family orientated and respectful. I did have a coworker and was subjected to tampo and it was horrible. Weeks of silent treatment took its toll and ruined what was once a great working relationship. I am Canadian and not used to it. Other than that, I have had a great working relationship with them.
I have never experienced tampo, and I have worked with lots of Filipinos . So, I have learned from you, this cultural practice is bought into the workplace also. Is tampo practiced by Filipino women with everybody, meaning in the presence of women ? I thought it only occurred in relationships with husband and wives. I still feel personally, I wouldn't care if someone didn't speak to me for periods of time. I wouldn't make tampo, about myself. In the workplace , as long as we had professional communication, with each other, concerning work, then, that's the baseline I go by. As an outsider, tampo, seems like a space one needs to go, for self care, and mental health well being to work issues out, that may not even have nothing to do with you.
@@frugalityishername827 Tampo has NO GENDER. The closest Engish term is SILENT TREATMENT. But they're still around and hovering out and about.with the person. Between lovers, TAMPO needs CARIÑO. . . . LOL... Now that's another word to discover. Spanish word origin. It's like when one is upset and giving you a silent treatment ( TAMPO) you go on a : pleasing mode" (CARIÑO)
Yeah i agree I've been dealing with tampo from my fiancee and it's wearing my patience enough to break it off. Its so immature.
@@ky-effect2717 yikes. If that is how she handles communicating then she either has to change that or it won't work. A lifetime of silent treatment? No thanks.
@@pinksugarcookies71lifetime of silent treatment ? A bit over acting nho?😂
I see your wearing a Vandy hat my friend. Nice to see a Nashvillian making his way in the Philippines. I'll definitely check out more of your videos. I plan on making a trip to visit there next year.
It is my alma mater! Good luck with your visit my friend!
One nice thing about the Phillipines n Cambodia n Thailand n Vietnam . Their is a over abundance of beautiful women of all mixtures n taste .
My wife is the best thing thats ever happened to me. She looks after me and I love being an instadad to her 2 kids.
We (me and my German husband) can totally relate to your experiences - the sign language, the 'tampo' (I wonder if there is an english word for it), etc. We're living here permanently now for 8 yrs, and my husband loves it here. Thanks for sharing your experiences:)
Tampo in english is sulk/sulking.😉
@@kfine9310 That's right!! Sulking is the word!
@@teresafgiesecke
Or childish behavior. Like when a child doesn’t get his/her way or is ignored and has a temper tantrum. Or some extreme quiet moodiness .
Yes indeed my friend, you hit the nail on the head! Spot on!
😂, one thing you forgot is; your rice purchases greatly increase! And also the great knowledge of All the different varieties of rice!
God Bless them all, truly a Great Nation of folks!
Thank you for your useful and insightful information.
Im Fil/Am searching for my future man soon going back to the philippines for retirement!!!
We moved to Cebu City eight years ago from Southern California. I am married to a Cebuana, which has certainly made the transition easier because she is tri-lingual. Your wife and mine have a lot of similarities, but also a few differences. The nurturing part is definitely a similarity. The biggest differences have to do with personality and money. My wife has no filter on her mouth. It is not uncommon for her to shout f-bombs in my direction over silly disagreements. But then I will clam up and smile at her and she always comes around and apologizes. She explained that it is just her way, so I have to understand her "attitude". Also, a big difference is that my wife doesn't understand anything about saving money. She spends every peso that comes into her possession, so you are lucky there compared to me.
@Max Effort. Well there you go Max, we have been married, 26 years and have our home at Sogod Cebu. I love my wife, she's the best woman i have ever met in my long life. She never swears at me, (though she does swear sometimes) and, she is great with saving money, ( before, i was a bit careless) she has taught me how to be careful with money. She knows the true value of the dollar. I have learnt a lot from her and i like to think she has also learned about life and people, from me. I'm a Veteran Soldier, and former Highway Cop so i think i'm pretty sensible about things, which compliments our relationship. Hope to meet you one day, when we come back after the so called pandemic. Cheers, Max, Regards Bob, New Zealand.
At least half of Bisayan- speaking Filipinos have no filters on their mouth. We don’t sugar-coat. But in public and work places I think it’s a toned down. When I started working that’s one of my biggest problems. People say nice to you but gossip about you when you’re not around.
🚩🚩🚩
@@whitepouch0904 you are right, I think it is a Bisayan thing, no filter.
@@champagneshade6249 You are correct. This is a big red flag. I would never accept a woman cursing at me in a relationship. This is a sign of a weak man.
Brother man I just described to your videos I am with a Filipina woman and everything you just said is exactly true oh my God I'm still laughing my ass off thank you for being real Doc I will be watching for your future videos
Thank you so much!
This is very amusing. It made me smile. It's like you're sharing with me your experiences. I'm a Filipino by the way. So true.
American women do Tampo also, just usually not for as long. The point of Tampo is for the man to "confess" his sins by continuously asking her if "x" is the reason she's angry and the goal is for the man to be trained to always ask himself if what he's doing will upset his woman. Yes, I'm generalizing, but not by much.
1:33 - NY to Florida are 13 hours behind Philippines during Standard time(Nov. to March) and 12 hours behind during Daylight Saving(March to Oct)
Tampo! I was about to propose and then I had my first experience of that! Needless to say the Ring stayed in my pocket. It will take time and effort to Teach her that communication is actually easy with talking! And Silent treatment is a very Childish response to anything! Thanks for the video
As a Filipina, the "tampo" is 100% true. Communication is key! Or just let us simmer down with our emotions, but dont wait too long doing nothing. Keep probing of what's wrong but do it sweetly!
Tampo only happens when it is ALLOWED to happen ,,,, ONE major tampo attack and i am OUT of that relationship faster than a CHEETAH on a mouse
true
Nope, not me! I am as vocal as the typical Western woman. Btw, my mother is the same way. We're born and raised in Mindanao. We have no time for unnecessary and passive-aggressive second guessing.
Glad it was not tampon related
Yes, there’s definitely a formula that works and one that fails badly also. I personally respect Tampo. Some see it as childish but I think it’s smart to cool down and the protocol for handling this can be done in a healthy way also. Foreign men need to learn the system, is my position on the topic. It’s far better than the screaming and nagging that western women do.
New subscriber here! Watching this made me LOL cause it’s so true😂 I was born in the PI but came to the US at the age of 8. Even though I grew up here I have some of these traits and I see it with my parents of course.
I think my family is in the minority with “Filipino time.” My dad is very punctual and a lot of times super early to appointments and social gatherings. Sometimes so early we have to wait to get called for an appointment that’s scheduled an hour later😂
About spending money. There are a lot of Filipinos who also will spend tons on brand names. I have aunts who spend thousands on brand name bags, shoes, etc. Luckily my parents were never that extreme and didn’t care for brand names.
I look forward to more posts about the Philippines. Last time I visited was 2015!
I think that in every culture there's this rule that whenever you get past to the weirdest parts..
It's all gonna be fine and things will work out pretty well..
That is, if you truly love and care for that certain person.
Good points
♥️TAMPO IS JUST THE WAY OF AVOIDING ARGUMENTS!!! LETTING IT GO... OR HUGGING HER...& I LOVE YOU SO MUCH... IN SHORT...ASSURANCE....HOW MUCH... SHE MEANT TO YOU😂😂😂❤️❤️❤️SWEET FILIPINAS....WEAKNESS!!!🥰
In the United States communication mostly takes place verbally but in the Philippines it also includes gestures, muttered sounds, sign language (not the standard ASL) etc.
Magandang gabi to you sir ...all of that ..we alsso agree...
First things first. We need to learn the basic language. Too many can't communicate but want to be with women abroad. It would help to learn some words.
the non verbal communication using eyebrows and pointed lips made me laughed so hard. i realized we filipinos are the only species on this planet that use those kind of unique sign language. the tender loving care we give to our sick family members is one thing that i could say is truly among the best characters of pinoys.
Lip pointing - in which protruding lips precede an eye gaze toward the area of interest - has been observed in people from Puerto Rico, Panama, Laos, and Africa,.✌️😎🇵🇭
Colombians do too. Is a sort of Hispanic thing
Actually some latin countries use those too
as a man who live in Philippines we do that sign language muxh of the time lol
Actually, our natives here in Canada point with their lips too, just like Filipinos.
I delt with the Tampo pretty much like you did. I still do when she tries. I tell her I can tampo also LOL
Haha nice!
Hahaha! Your pointing with the lips and the nursing mode cracked me up and made me subscribe man! You can take us out from our Philippines but you can not take the Philippines from all of us! Aren’t you lucky???!!!! We don’t even have to drink alcohol to be happy! We’re just happy people!
Wow thank you for covering tampo! My fiancée does this all the time and it drives me crazy because im always trying hard to understand her but there's just silence for days. I had no idea this was that comon or even had a name!
Laughed a lot while watching it. Shared this to my husband, he can relate to this. 😜- Nora
Thanks!
Spot on! You covered it all so well!!
Thank you so much!
Had 4x bypass at the top Cardio Hospital in Texas. Practically every nurse was Filipino.
I recently went through a 5x bypass myself. While I was waiting for it in the hospital a young male Filipino nurse came into my room about 6 AM to get my day started. It was still dark and he did not turn the light on. From his first words as he crossed the threshold I could tell he was Filipino, So I responded with Kumusta, magandang umaga. He backed out of the room, and when he came back in he said he had to check the name on the door to ensure he was in the correct room, as it showed a "Schwartz" on the door. 🤣🤣
@@TheOriginalRick hahahaha because you know to speak our language lol 😂 sometimes we’re impress if some nation knows our language
Found my Filipina here in the states, 18 years later we are still going. Wonderful women and wife. She's a nurse and saved my mother's life 2 to 3 times already. SI second most of your points. We struggled early on with the cultural differences and finances, but somehow we made this far.
I'd add, telling a little white lie is not against their culture and can set you off at times. When she is late she says "I'm on Filipino time".
I've experienced a lot of this already from my Filipina girlfriend when it comes to describing their traits and customs, it can get a bit tense at times but in the end they're worth it because they're super sweet and cute as a button 😊🥰❤
What kind of button?
We are sweet, kind, hardworking, clean in the house and most of all for life if you treat them right
LOL cute as a button 🤣🤣😂
Good video. Thank you (salamat). Filipino (formal) can refer to both male and female, while Filipina is an informal way to address female. Man, you are spot on about the lip pointing.
True, with the exceptions that eye signals I have experienced all of these from my Filipina wife.
your videos are funny and realistic to my point of view. so good vibes from here bro. have a good one
My wife is from La Union. She used to always insist on getting a professional to fix everything and watching every penny. But when money got tight I did it myself. In hind sight I should never have shown her I can fix anything because now she never worries about breaking anything. I’m MR FIX IT to her 😂😂😂. But she’s learning fast it always amazes me how fast she learns 👍
Haha that is funny 👍
If she's learning fast, pretty soon she will be fixing things on her own.😄
Hahahaha,so funny...
You are correct 100% im not married yet but my GF does use facial sign language. They do take care of you when your sick. In the morning i wake up all i hear ( kumain ka na ba amusal ) in tagalog means did i eat breakfast 4 to 5 times before i respond.. learn tagalog much as u can is plus cuz she does talk to her family in Tagalog and you will know if they talking mess about you 😊
Met my very loving , young wife in 2010, married in 2017, pandemic ruined me in 2020... Love goes out the window when money stops coming through the door.
“Young wife” how old are you? Maybe that’s why ?
@@kayh-s7726 It may well have something to do with it.
😂 it's hilarious yall get angry when we say these foreign girls are only with you for your foreign dollars. Very VERY few women will tolerate a non provider.
As another comment above mentioned its a contract. They provide beauty and their youth and yall provide the money.
@@msladylydia3745 I could’nt agree more 👌🏽
@@msladylydia3745 I'm 70 and busting my ass to be a "provider" . Not all women are as mercenary as you . However many of them forget their marriage vows!
Thanks for this interesting video
Spot on!,I;m Bisaya born and raised in Hawaii my Father is from Cebu, you described my parents especially the pointing with the lips! LOL!......
Here in Washington state on day light savings time we are 15 hours behind Cebu-Mactan.
love your channel great stuff,had 2 pilipina girlfriends long term in Australia,didn’t work out ended up marrying Japanese been married 20 years they are pretty no real dramas but the pilipina women are very pretty
Thanks for sharing
Thank you, Dr Laway. You have enriched me with the information.
I've been married for almost 30 years to Philippina. You forgot about the self-perpetuating rage. It will start with mild anger about something, then they get mad because they are angry, and more mad because they are more angry. So it spirals out of her control. At that point there's no common sense. They can yell and say nonsensical things (I hear some gals throw and smash things) and nothing can calm them down. In my case, I just politely leave the area. Not the house, just the area. She knows why I walk away and doesn't fault me for doing so.
When they calm down then they can apologize if they were in the wrong, but not before.
My wife does this also. I have a small suitcase next to the door. When she gets out of control i go to a hotel and watch you tube videos. She thinks i am cheating on her.
@@travellolo omg
Sounds like you have a unique situation because they're not all like that I haven't encountered any hot throwing yelling and screaming phillipina definitely not mine. The tampo happens occasionally but she gets over that and I just let it happen I used to try and ask her what was wrong but when she goes silent I just let her go that way. I personally haven't experienced any yelling and screaming or throwing of heavy objects you must be lucky
that would be a woman. lol.
Aaha we call that super saiyan not tampo
Yes i looking husband frome America is nice guy and very kind and respect the Philipina.
Another blessed man here married to a Filipina.
I was bad wth the tipping at first but gradually got used to it. Now am a good tipper
I’ve been married to my japanese husband for 35 yrs,yes that is all true,nursing them when sick,filipina couldn’t have enough sleep for we are worried for them,and specially we sure that my family will have a balance food .Time is so strict here in japan!
I would have assumed that about Japan. They seem very strict the two times I was there. Thanks for sharing
@Jennifer Shimuzu. God bless you Jennifer. Robert Wilson. New Zealand.
Thanks for your content!
Best way to break tampo is to give them a little space. You don't need to back down from your position or even admit you were wrong. Act like it doesn't bother you, and just be sweet to her like normal. After that the goal is to make her smile or laugh. Once you can get her to laugh, she knows you have broken her. She will try to maintain tampo for a while, but as long as you can get her to laugh, it's pretty much over
Why don't we have the discussion of why Filipinas have the mentality of a 10 year old? Not all but a lot..can we have that discussion??
Wrong answer...
That's good information. I didn't know about the eyebrows
It's all about how you would arrange things together.I definitely explain and asked my hubby to have his own place for his things.Giving rules and roles in everyday living.It is all about maintaining the house in our issue because we don't have kids around.We help each other,and yes I do agree about fixing broken things at home instead of buying new,as Filipinos we like recycling ♻️ There are similar things in many ways but it is still depends on how they have been brought up too or place where they grew up.Time is gold for most of Filipinos who has experienced to work overseas or traveled ,I am not in Filipino time as well.Thanks for this video!
"Tampo" mostly springs from trivial things, e.g., failing on the part of the husband to notice her new hairdo or dress, failing to remember your first date, failing to buy her the food you promised her before leaving home, or failing to kiss her during your anniversary. Anything that causes her to think she is no longer important in your life can cause tampo. Remedy: A little caressing and a whisper of affection. (She pretends not to like your gesture, but deep inside, she likes it).
Me and my wife was laughing so hard while watching your vlog.love it!😅
Talking about the time diff between US and PI.i just add or deduct 3hrs from US time (I.E. 8pm US.PI time would be 11am.
8am US time,PI time would be 11pm).
That is a good rule of thumb on the time. Thanks glad you enjoyed!
Depending on what time zone you live in . Living in San Diego I just add 16 hours .
Hahahahahahaha ...!!!!! Dr. Laway !!! You know what this means ? I just can't believe it.
I think tampo is a general women traits. The only difference is that an Americana for example would tell you that she is upset and why. But a Filipina would show you that she is upset and wants you to figure out what you did wrong.
True
That's a generalisation! I'm wondering how Dr.Laway stopped it within the first year though? It sounds like they're very happy and communicate well!😄
I LOVE the fast eyebrows when saying an excited YES. 😂
Everything you mentioned is soooo true 😂 it’s funny actually in one way but can be extremely frustrating at the same time regarding some things…
Plus don’t forget that our Body language and how we westerners articulate ourselves is often very offensive to Filipinos - just think of the “pointing finger, or raising our arms or voice” to emphasize something that we need them to understand or whatever..that’s a huge thing to them and because to us it is “ normal “ it can cause sometimes very serious issues if a person doesn’t understand the cultural differences and it’s important that both parties should be aware of this…just saying.
They are all about “emotions” and our analytical and logical approach to certain things has little impact / effect in the way they see and do things in many instances… especially when trying to discuss certain aspects of western life.
Ohh and you forgot to mention that they can have a temper 🫣, which is, second to none 😂 and yet they are so very loving & caring - go figure that one out 🤷♂️
Overall life can and is for me, so much better being married to a Filipina 🥰 but it is, certainly not without many challenges especially at the beginning…which make of corse, everything so much more fun 🥳
I love my wife with all my faults 😉
Merry Christmas to you all 🎉
Nice one! Spot on!
Filipinas are not that different culturally than other Asian cultures in that it's FAMILY, FAMILY, and more FAMILY! They come with the package. They will be in constant communication no matter situation almost daily. If you are not use to a large family or didn't grow up in this type of situation it's going to be VERY difficult to adjust. It's not going to be just the two of you EVER!
I am cracking up while watching you. So true.
You're spot on those things to adapt on here, lol. The Filipino time and the long wait to check out for groceries is also an adjustment.
Yes just adjust and am happy to be here!
@@DrLawaytravels Same here. God Bless your family.
Did you forget that saying goodbye after party is also takes an hour before you actually leave? The still sharing story on the way to the door and still talking and husband says I better sit down it’s takes another hour .
You are exactly correct about how things. She is like my wife from visyia area. When she gets angry then she will not talk for weeks. She likes to spend my money on anything she wants, but can be cheap when I try to be generous for what people provide. As far as fixing things she thinks she is a engineer and is the only one who can do it correctly. Best thing is to stay out of her way!!!!
Haha you put that very well sir 👍