@@MyWayWendy I don't mean to be rude but I am even more confused. This was my original comment: "The way we rationalize immorality. We make it sound sophisticated and freeing. Evil is always sooo clever". I was saying that she is trying to make something bad, sound good.
@@MyWayWendy Erm, ok, there limits to my patience.A conversation requires an articulation of a position, for the life of me I cannot comprehend what yours is. So I will bid you a good day and leave it at that, because as I type I am laughing hysterically and I don't believe comedy was your intention.
Shes only with her boyfriend for stability. But since he’s not pleasing her sexually she feels like she needs to entertain other men. No real man shares his girlfriend.
They way society normalizes this type of behavior is just disgusting. One of the worst feelings I have ever felt was dating someone and knowing that I’m just one of many not cool
She likes hurting men or making them feel bad because she was hurt by many men. It's a control issue for her and when she says these things, she knows it makes men feel anxious and scared to get into a relationship with a woman. And she's beautiful which makes men all the more scared of meeting and falling in love with someone like her.
@@jelemilthose kids having her as a role model she is teaching them it’s ok to be with someone and also still have sex with the rest of the town no that’s not an example to set on your kids
Before any of this discussion starts the word "love" needs to be clearly defined. Sharing your partner with somebody else isn't love in the first place. It's just attraction or liking
When a guy you’re dating tells you it’s ok for you to date other people ,that’s a 🚩..run. The young lady is exactly that, young. You can’t be totally in love with someone but yet you continue to search around for more options.she has a lot of growing up to do. IMHO 🤔🤷🏼♀️
I think she is insecure, looking for other men to date why in a relationship where she lives with the man and claim she loves the man is a proof of insecurity...she is lying on TV
Dating multiple people before getting into a relationship is fine, but once you're in a relationship with them and living with them that's it. You shouldn't be with someone else.
@lisbellemongen735 She is quite the beautiful girl for sure. I'd gladly take a handful of it in a fun way, but still though. That mindset wouldn't work for most people and if it does most people should just stay single.
Just because you looking good doesn't mean that all is right,and just because you're speaking with confident doesn't make what you are saying right I think she really needs help somehow someway💔
If you like someone enough to be in a relationship, I don't understand why you won't just commit. Just sounds like having one foot out of the door. You also will never know if this person will really be loyal until you settle down.
That's why you date and court not go into a full blown relationship and mess around like that! This world is coming to an end people constantly change the ideals to suit their fancy😢
I don't know how you can have a boyfriend and then go out with other men...and, how can the "boyfriend" think it's ok, I don't know...I would NEVER want this type of relationship.
I just want people to know Love is Love. Lust feels like Love. People settle for to much BS in relationships. To me that's just an easy way to break up having someone feel you was never fully with only them. When in a relationship I don't want no one. He shouldn't want someone else, but if he do... Just let me know you will be let go quickly and peacefully. Be honest and hurt no one. Don't even argue fight nor question. Walk away and let go. You wasting time cause the other really wants to go. ❤
This clip is from couple years ago. Now she is married with him and they have two kids together. Don't know if they're still in an open relationship though.
I think the talk of being open was moreso theory than practice in their relationship In the phase they are in w 2 kids ill assume nobody has time to be entertaining anyone else esp w her phd studies
She has nothing to compare her current relationship to, meaning she has never experienced what it's like to be in a monogamous, committed for a lifetime relationship with her now husband and father of her children, so how can she know what she prefers? And how can she truly know the reality of her relationship when he can satisfy himself in any way he likes outside of the relationship? I've been on both sides of this (monogamy/polyamory) with the right partners, and polyamory leaves so much to be desired. So many damaged people drawn to other damaged people, and neither side has enough awareness about what drives them. There's a lot of healing and maturing to be had. Some people are too smart for their own good.
I personally think If a man loves his women he would not be okay with her going on another date. I bet you she would feel a way if she saw him hugged up on another women or if he interrupted a date. Also if you cant commit in relationship I can’t imagine what marriage looks like.
This is why it’s very important for men to work out and take care of there physical self and have confidence. As much as women love to have options it’s def important for a man to have options as well so you don’t have to settle for women like this.
If You're in need to seek out for connection with other people means You don't truly love person you live with, you have no respect for them, and thay love You too much to end this means they have problems with their self-esteem and dont respect their selves either
How sad. This young woman is happy to share her body with....... Instead of a sacred union with one man, and the man also sharing his " not" woman. Neither see their own or each other's value or worth. She's completely deceived in what Love is. Thank you Steve for your faith, and true advice 🙏🏽😊
We all know Steve had way more to say about that topic but didnt want to get bashed…that woman is confused..aint no way in hell im sharing my woman i claim to love, and that audience is just as stupid for clapping at every damn thing she said.
My children have stories to tell how I am when I meet their special person 1st time. Especially when my daughter went off to Job Corp. I and her Grandmother were like paparazzi, and reporters and filled out applications😂😂😂😂😂. Her dad just stood back like security. When my daughter like ... seriously.
This woman should remain single the whole of her life. I am not cursing her, it is just her background and her way of thinking. Any dude looking for a life partner ? Give her a blind eye
If you are saying the person you are with is good enough for you and you wholeheartedly love them, So what the hell are you doing out there with other men? what are you actually looking for? This is some disturbing sh*t.
truly it’s a mechanism of “i got other men so i’m not worried” type of thing, she’s doesn’t know HER value.. you living with someone who isn’t available to you, a REAL MAN would not dare let his woman do that
All relationships should be by all means based on real love and respect. Both should give each other a place and space but not to be with other people.❤
Soon or later it will be disgusting to her. And she will feel empty and wished she was not born . Because God created us with a godly heart which is hurt when you do wrong if not immediately, later.
@@satirafira I don't completely disagree with you BUT I would take out honest and good and replace them with functional and self respecting. I can see how a man who comes from an abusive disfunctional background could get sucked into this. I think she's probably narcissistic and abusive
You don't love him He doesn't love you You don't date other people if the person you are with is *GOOD ENOUGH* And bear with me GOOD ENOUGH is not being PERFECT,its accepting the faults and embracing it all
Wow, that guy has her brainwashed and Gaslit. I feel sorry for women who don’t know their worth and have standards. I use to be there. Come on girls, we deserve more.
You really think it is the guy that is the problem after listening to her speak? There are some not so great women either to put it politely. Some women are brainwashed to actually believe that every woman is good and perfect or what have you. When that simply isn't the case.
I guess im really old school coz im 30 years old but i wouldn't be in this kinda relationship it's insane, the fact that they tell each other they going out with other people 🤔
She's playing herself. And that dude is for sure sleeping with those girls NOT inviting them for a coffee! Girl, sin isn't giving you peace but confusion.
That’s actually fear of rejection. By staying in an open relationship, she can avoid getting hurt by not being committed to anything or anyone. I hope one day she sees that for what it really is and will be able to address it with herself.
This episode is realllyy old. Shannon has been married to her man for years now and they have 2 kids together. I'm shocked this was only posted 2 weeks ago.
She's really convinced herself that what she is saying is completely OK and disguised it in "understanding" and "confidence".😂 wheeeew, that spirit of Jezebel still running riot around those blind and even those who can see but choose to ignore.
It’s gotten to the point where people don’t want to acknowledge their toxic traits and work on it. They just want to “embrace” it. Not feeling satisfied with the blessing that you have isn’t something to be embraced. Feeling like you can find what’s missing in your partner, and other people is not something to embrace. Whether she’s in a “serious” relationship with one, and a casual one with another, someone is getting the short end of the stick. And it’s not the one who’s casually dating her. Loving one man with your whole heart is respectable. Practicing self control and sexual desire is something to embrace. Respecting yourself to know you’re worthy of being someone’s 1 and only is something to embrace. Recognizing your parents’ practices don’t have to become your own is respectable.
She was there to be part of a panel discussing hot topics. This wasn’t an interview. Her partner wasn’t there with her for the same reason Marjorie wasn’t there.
Steve, even though your plate isn’t exactly clean yourself, your reaction is 1000% valid and what many of us feel. Folks be so oversexed & underfocused thinking this ish is the norm.
The fact that the audience glorified this disgusting behavior shows how screwed society is.
Yes. That was ridiculous..
I legit said to myself if a man said this, omg we wouldn’t hear the end of it
@@kimaniallen2376 TRUE 😱
yes
She won’t be loving him if he came back with a baby momma.
What's most incredible is not what she's saying, but rather how she doesn't even realize the craziness of what she's saying!
Yes this!
Absolutely......and her parents sound crazy.....what she's doing is extremely dangerous
Yeah to YOU. Some people can do it, others can’t. But it’s only you people that judge. Funny that.
she doesn't have good role models for parents, the tree is rotten from the roots also generational curses is a thing.
She want to be a city girl and keep her man 😂😂
The way we rationalize immorality. We make it sound sophisticated and freeing. Evil is always sooo clever.
Couldn't have said it better....these days people come up with so many twisted philosophies just so they can justify sin
@@MyWayWendy Sorry, what's not her fault? I am not sure I understood the comment.
@@MyWayWendy I don't mean to be rude but I am even more confused. This was my original comment:
"The way we rationalize immorality. We make it sound sophisticated and freeing. Evil is always sooo clever". I was saying that she is trying to make something bad, sound good.
Exactly. Really sad.
@@MyWayWendy Erm, ok, there limits to my patience.A conversation requires an articulation of a position, for the life of me I cannot comprehend what yours is. So I will bid you a good day and leave it at that, because as I type I am laughing hysterically and I don't believe comedy was your intention.
Shes only with her boyfriend for stability. But since he’s not pleasing her sexually she feels like she needs to entertain other men. No real man shares his girlfriend.
Thank you. If she felt her boyfriend was good she would definitely be keeping that for herself.
How do you know he's not pleasing? When you watch porn, you can never be pleased. That's what addiction is. An insatiable appetite.
And, no real woman knowingly shares her man.
Bingo.💯
We won't even encourage the thought, talk less of letting 'em be with another guy😂😂😂😂
They way society normalizes this type of behavior is just disgusting. One of the worst feelings I have ever felt was dating someone and knowing that I’m just one of many not cool
Never exchange bodily fluids without exchanging HIV test results. Aedin
Disgusting? How about you do what makes you happy and we’ll do what makes us happy. Funny how we don’t judge you lot. It’s only you guys who judge us.
@@LeMerch Thank you, but as you are entitled to your beliefs he is too, he is just not sophisticated enough to express it well like you do.
This why I’m single. Look at Steve’s reaction. This generation is dumb..
She likes hurting men or making them feel bad because she was hurt by many men. It's a control issue for her and when she says these things, she knows it makes men feel anxious and scared to get into a relationship with a woman. And she's beautiful which makes men all the more scared of meeting and falling in love with someone like her.
@@AllThingsSoulAnd the "boyfriend " is doing the same thing. They're both disgusting
Well they were raised by a generation of idiots lol 😅 we created this
@@AllThingsSoulshe’s def damaged.
...in every way and area of life.
How can you love someone wholeheartedly when you want to date other men.
It's straight up disgusting and this is a prime example why men don't want to marry anymore
Women's math 💯
1÷2 = 1÷1
She simply doesn't know what real love is about. She thinks she knows. But nah
That's the point
I am with you 🎉🎉🎉
If She wants to date other men .She does not love her boyfriend period
💯
Fornication is all it is
That part !
Theyre married w 2 kids dear
@@jelemilthose kids having her as a role model she is teaching them it’s ok to be with someone and also still have sex with the rest of the town no that’s not an example to set on your kids
Before any of this discussion starts the word "love" needs to be clearly defined. Sharing your partner with somebody else isn't love in the first place. It's just attraction or liking
and here they argue loves not possession. well doesn't your partner make the choice to commit.
Amen
Absolutely right, and Stive didn't define for that woman. She is on the public TV. This is crazy..World
It's not love, she is seeking pleasure.
@@OneWomanMan888 so true
When a guy you’re dating tells you it’s ok for you to date other people ,that’s a 🚩..run.
The young lady is exactly that, young. You can’t be totally in love with someone but yet you continue
to search around for more options.she has a lot of growing up to do. IMHO 🤔🤷🏼♀️
Exactly!
Cuck 😭
Guys are quick to get jealous, this girl just want to be on TV..
@barbarakeyes8217 She is not as "happy" as she claims to be. She just doesn't want to admit that she stepped and remained in foolishness for so long.
I think she is insecure, looking for other men to date why in a relationship where she lives with the man and claim she loves the man is a proof of insecurity...she is lying on TV
atp the audience will clap at anything like ayoo 😂😂 Thank you Steve for having some sense !!
The fact that are people who agree with what she is saying and clapping is just crazy !!!
Perfect example of " have no idea what LOVE is" smh people like her you stay away from.
Dating multiple people before getting into a relationship is fine, but once you're in a relationship with them and living with them that's it. You shouldn't be with someone else.
It's never fine what kind of human doormat does that!!!
@@mrglassbadguy485 You said it. A doormat.
Facts. What’s the point of moving in together like y’all seriuos
I love her long curly hair ❤
@lisbellemongen735 She is quite the beautiful girl for sure. I'd gladly take a handful of it in a fun way, but still though. That mindset wouldn't work for most people and if it does most people should just stay single.
Openly dating multiple people doesnt always work. You will end up jealous and not trusting nor valuing each other as supposed to.
This is how I feel. This open stuff sounds messy. The respect I have for myself this will NEVER be right for me. ❤
Is even one of the must stupid things one may think about. It is really nasty and unproper.
She's cleaning her laundry in public and disrespecting the image of her parents.
She belongs to the streets.
@@OneWomanMan888 Well she needs the stop Light.
I am with Steve. It's crazy. What are we becoming . 🤔
Psalms 118:8
It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man.
Just because you looking good doesn't mean that all is right,and just because you're speaking with confident doesn't make what you are saying right I think she really needs help somehow someway💔
That Steve Harvey audience will clap for anything ...
😃🙃🙃
Whatchu say
They probably put the sign up. LOL.
She went from a 8 to a 2 real fast.
If you like someone enough to be in a relationship, I don't understand why you won't just commit. Just sounds like having one foot out of the door. You also will never know if this person will really be loyal until you settle down.
That's why you date and court not go into a full blown relationship and mess around like that! This world is coming to an end people constantly change the ideals to suit their fancy😢
I don't know how you can have a boyfriend and then go out with other men...and, how can the "boyfriend" think it's ok, I don't know...I would NEVER want this type of relationship.
Me neither
I just want people to know Love is Love. Lust feels like Love. People settle for to much BS in relationships. To me that's just an easy way to break up having someone feel you was never fully with only them. When in a relationship I don't want no one. He shouldn't want someone else, but if he do... Just let me know you will be let go quickly and peacefully. Be honest and hurt no one. Don't even argue fight nor question. Walk away and let go. You wasting time cause the other really wants to go. ❤
This woman will learn it the hard way
Most women learn the hard way...
They follow their emotions and emotions will always betray us...
It is very sad though....😔
@@anwarhussein5688 yeah it's very concerning
@@anwarhussein5688 this dude convinced her wait around for a ring while we see other people,
Not really. She married her boyfriend and now has 2 beautiful children with him. ❤
Oh yes . What you reap is what you sow.
That’s crazy, I’m going with Steve’s train of thought .
Every man dream, but truth be told he dont love you. We keep the one’s we love to outself
What do you mean ?? Care to explain
That's wrong you should not do that. Sharing is caring apparently
Her name is Shan Boodram and they are married now with two kids
Steve could not wrap his head around this lmaooo Welcome to the new generation Unc lol
Steve snapped😂😂😂
I know… you can tell he can easily fight for this young lady
This clip is from couple years ago. Now she is married with him and they have two kids together. Don't know if they're still in an open relationship though.
I think the talk of being open was moreso theory than practice in their relationship
In the phase they are in w 2 kids ill assume nobody has time to be entertaining anyone else esp w her phd studies
No they stopped since having their first kid, they said they aren’t comfortable with that now that they are parents.
@@MizMimathank god she wised up cuz she sounded delusional and crazy as hell here🙄
This is a deception from the devil himself. Creating so many soul ties with different men
Exactly sis
Unfortunately many won't choose to listen to that.
She might not be getting knocked down, but dawg definitely out there going crazy 😂
But what’s the point of being in a “relationship” and even moving in together when you are not sure you want to be together for real?
"let's go back to your place"
"can't, my gf just got home from her date"
That's a very common thing people do these days and it's really sad.
Steve: Hair Fairy! You know How much Money do I have? 😂😂😂😂😂 Had me dying😂😂😂
She has nothing to compare her current relationship to, meaning she has never experienced what it's like to be in a monogamous, committed for a lifetime relationship with her now husband and father of her children, so how can she know what she prefers? And how can she truly know the reality of her relationship when he can satisfy himself in any way he likes outside of the relationship? I've been on both sides of this (monogamy/polyamory) with the right partners, and polyamory leaves so much to be desired. So many damaged people drawn to other damaged people, and neither side has enough awareness about what drives them. There's a lot of healing and maturing to be had. Some people are too smart for their own good.
"You need to be quite"😂😂
I personally think If a man loves his women he would not be okay with her going on another date. I bet you she would feel a way if she saw him hugged up on another women or if he interrupted a date. Also if you cant commit in relationship I can’t imagine what marriage looks like.
This is why it’s very important for men to work out and take care of there physical self and have confidence. As much as women love to have options it’s def important for a man to have options as well so you don’t have to settle for women like this.
she is not a wifey material...she's woke..
@@satirafira definitely
@@satirafirawhat do you mean by WOKE?
@@satirafirabut men like WOKE tho. I'm a Christian single lady and nope these men want a crazy girl!
If You're in need to seek out for connection with other people means You don't truly love person you live with, you have no respect for them, and thay love You too much to end this means they have problems with their self-esteem and dont respect their selves either
Yes I don't support dating with different peoples.
How sad. This young woman is happy to share her body with....... Instead of a sacred union with one man, and the man also sharing his " not" woman. Neither see their own or each other's value or worth. She's completely deceived in what Love is. Thank you Steve for your faith, and true advice 🙏🏽😊
I was shocked when the audience applauded this
Men, dont you ever let your woman convince you this is a good idea.
When you don’t establish enough masculine leadership in your relationship, this is what you get. SMH
I agree 100%! Both parties in a marriage need to keep each other in check and say no to crazy ideas.
This makes sense but I guess it’s way more complicated.
We all know Steve had way more to say about that topic but didnt want to get bashed…that woman is confused..aint no way in hell im sharing my woman i claim to love, and that audience is just as stupid for clapping at every damn thing she said.
Steve you right. All the way on everything.
She’s very well spoken but what she speaks is self-destructive
Well, girl wtcha when your bf decides to see another girl and leave you there.
She's DELUSIONAL. In an OPEN relationship THERE are ALWAYS favorites...VERY rarely ARE both SIDES truly at PEACE with the ARRANGEMENT!!!
My children have stories to tell how I am when I meet their special person 1st time. Especially when my daughter went off to Job Corp. I and her Grandmother were like paparazzi, and reporters and filled out applications😂😂😂😂😂. Her dad just stood back like security.
When my daughter like ... seriously.
All the monogamists thinking the world revolves around them is HILARIOUS!!
This woman should remain single the whole of her life. I am not cursing her, it is just her background and her way of thinking. Any dude looking for a life partner ? Give her a blind eye
Thats just another level of detachament
If you are saying the person you are with is good enough for you and you wholeheartedly love them, So what the hell are you doing out there with other men? what are you actually looking for? This is some disturbing sh*t.
truly it’s a mechanism of “i got other men so i’m not worried” type of thing, she’s doesn’t know HER value.. you living with someone who isn’t available to you, a REAL MAN would not dare let his woman do that
She's delusional talking about a hair fairy wtf 😂😂😂
All relationships should be by all means based on real love and respect. Both should give each other a place and space but not to be with other people.❤
Soon or later it will be disgusting to her. And she will feel empty and wished she was not born . Because God created us with a godly heart which is hurt when you do wrong if not immediately, later.
Fancy is still and will always be fine.. especially with her mindset shown here. Salute her and women like her.
If her boyfriend allowed her to date other men, shows he is just one of her other guy friends.
That's not LOVE!!! Period!!
The delulu in this girl is amazing....
I don't agree with her but I liked the way she defended her position
any sane and honest good man would never want her..
@@satirafira I don't completely disagree with you BUT I would take out honest and good and replace them with functional and self respecting. I can see how a man who comes from an abusive disfunctional background could get sucked into this. I think she's probably narcissistic and abusive
good confidence but delusional hey maybe 1% it worked out.
I don't.
Beautiful, confident but delusional and lost
I'm not judging but you're telling me her boyfriend is cool with her going out sleeping with other men then coming home to him.
She DOESN'T love her boyfriend!
She doesn't have a boyfriend he's just one of the guys she's dating. Her boyfriend is just using her for a side chick
Steve, stop trying to convince her that she's not for the streets.😂
But it's cool when y'all do it 🙄
@@kennettabradford6566 Who said it was cool?
@@kennettabradford6566 and who said that? So many women are big fools
You don't love him
He doesn't love you
You don't date other people if the person you are with is *GOOD ENOUGH*
And bear with me
GOOD ENOUGH is not being PERFECT,its accepting the faults and embracing it all
Wow, that guy has her brainwashed and Gaslit. I feel sorry for women who don’t know their worth and have standards. I use to be there. Come on girls, we deserve more.
Yes!
Her husband wants to be faithful but goes along with it because he's in love with her. This was her idea, long before she met him.
@@AllThingsSoul where does it say that?
You really think it is the guy that is the problem after listening to her speak? There are some not so great women either to put it politely. Some women are brainwashed to actually believe that every woman is good and perfect or what have you. When that simply isn't the case.
@AllThingsSoul Not her husband. It is her boyfriend. Either way, from what I heard her say, it was implied that it was all her idea.
I guess im really old school coz im 30 years old but i wouldn't be in this kinda relationship it's insane, the fact that they tell each other they going out with other people 🤔
She's playing herself. And that dude is for sure sleeping with those girls NOT inviting them for a coffee! Girl, sin isn't giving you peace but confusion.
Not for everyone.
No thank you, young lady. I'm with Uncle Steve.
Steve is right this woman lost
Y'all keep letting her sell you those empty dreams if you want to!😁
If you found what you want why are you still open to others? This is foolish.
That’s actually fear of rejection. By staying in an open relationship, she can avoid getting hurt by not being committed to anything or anyone. I hope one day she sees that for what it really is and will be able to address it with herself.
I thought she was already married
The fact that this is being normalized really shakes my head and is disappointing.
Steve youuuuu......... on point
This episode is realllyy old. Shannon has been married to her man for years now and they have 2 kids together. I'm shocked this was only posted 2 weeks ago.
things like that happen when people distance themselfes from GOD
Her mouth is running until she run out of words . Madness
Oh boy she is in a lot of tears .she doesn't know that yet .
That is not a relationship, that is a ship 😅 This will definitely not age well.
4:04 HOW UNCOMFORTABLE SHE is, SHE FELT DUMM AUCCCH 🤡
She's really convinced herself that what she is saying is completely OK and disguised it in "understanding" and "confidence".😂 wheeeew, that spirit of Jezebel still running riot around those blind and even those who can see but choose to ignore.
Thank you Steve !!!
You can tell Shannon was uncomfortable
It’s gotten to the point where people don’t want to acknowledge their toxic traits and work on it. They just want to “embrace” it. Not feeling satisfied with the blessing that you have isn’t something to be embraced. Feeling like you can find what’s missing in your partner, and other people is not something to embrace. Whether she’s in a “serious” relationship with one, and a casual one with another, someone is getting the short end of the stick. And it’s not the one who’s casually dating her. Loving one man with your whole heart is respectable. Practicing self control and sexual desire is something to embrace. Respecting yourself to know you’re worthy of being someone’s 1 and only is something to embrace. Recognizing your parents’ practices don’t have to become your own is respectable.
4 tha streets.
The way she's proud about it tho. SMH
This is how some men have been living their lives for a long time.. now some women are trying it out and thinking.. it's not bad after all😅
Speak the truth Steve
The moment he realizes she isn’t her dream partner she will regret everything she has said here. She will be hurt and heartbroken
I love uncle Steve. She has since married her boyfriend and they have 2 children. And they are monagamous
It’s the same as Polygamy sort of.
why would they bring this girl out here to embarrass her and her views? she did good in defending herself!!
What id like to know, as she is so committed with the openness of her dating style , why isnt her boyfriend there to back up what she's saying?
She was there to be part of a panel discussing hot topics. This wasn’t an interview. Her partner wasn’t there with her for the same reason Marjorie wasn’t there.
Steve, even though your plate isn’t exactly clean yourself, your reaction is 1000% valid and what many of us feel. Folks be so oversexed & underfocused thinking this ish is the norm.
She’s now married to him and they have children.
Interesting. Prayerfully she isn't still living like that.
That behavior is disgusting I couldn't never share my body with more than one man that's not normal it's sad😢