I took a 6 month break from college just to chill and try to find myself because I'd been feeling so hopelessly lost and trapped at college. During these six months, instead of feeling less lost, I started to embrace it! I realised that all my life I'd been chasing the dream of becoming a doctor (for my parents' sake more than my own) and I had always wondered if this was teh right path for me. Fast forward after a decade of hard work I'm done with medical school. I did not feel any less lost, so I came back to my parents' house and just chilled with them. When I go back to medical school for my intern year I realize that I'll graduate 5 months after most of my friends. And again, I'm learning to embrace it. I have made peace with my choices. Even if everyone else seem so far ahead of me with their life planned out and shit, I don't give a damn. I am me. And no one can be as me as me haha. THis video comes right as I'm about to leave for college again and it's further proof that everyone, no matter how successful, has felt lost at sometime. So do what you want, do what you're passionate about and your life will bloom
its funny your last name means pearls because u just dropped pearls of wisdom throughout this video. i applaud u for being brave enough to upload this and not be ashamed to deal with mental health so openly. there's a lot of stigma around mental health esp in the indian community and i think that will only change if theres more awareness to it. thank you for being real and staying humble.
Deepica Mutyala could totally feel you. And ur voice was kinda quivering which shows how broke u were. But the best part, u got over it! Hope u achieve all kinds of success and gain all the happiness that u deserve (Totally)❤
Trust me, no one can really understand how you feel when you break down but only our parents. They are literally my support system, I never knew what's it's like to shut off until last year. My parents helped me through those difficult times until I gained back my confidence. I'm thankful to God every day that he gave me my truly amazing parents. It's okay to crawl back to your parents now and then and I hope you get better and life gets better and everything works out for you in the end. Damn! You made me cry akka!!!
Papa Pandu is the father of dreams! The key to life is being able to appreciate all that is good in life but to also recognise the bad and the draining and not feel pressured to disengage with those emotions. ❤️
This was the best personal vlog I have ever watched! I just finished 9 years of school getting my Bachelor's and my PhD (I defended only a week ago) at the same school, and listening to your journey confirmed that I am making the right choice by not looking for a job right away to recharge and figure out what I want to do with my life. I am in a brand new city right now because I moved with my fiance for his job, and am not going to feel guilty for not having a job right now.
Hi Deepica, according to me this was your best video till now. I love your honesty & appreciate the fact you shared all your raw emotions with us. God bless you! 💕
all of us living in small towns aspire to settle in big cities actually...but when we do we realise at some point that nothing feels like home...family is irreplacable...atleast we Indians feel like that atleast at some point of our life...n dont worry your family will always have your back😊
debasmita chakraborty I ended up moving back near to where my parents live, I never thought I would but here I am lol. 😉 (I still live 2 hours away but still, pretty close.)
Sukaina Jafri yeah it happens...within a month i"ll be shifting to a big city for my higher studies...though i always wanted that but as the date is coming nearer i just cant help thinking that how often will i get to eat home food in a year or how often after that will i get to eat local street food in my small town
What an empowering video!! That moment with your dad in the study giving you the cheque broke me. I was bawling. That's all we ever need as girls, when our daddy gives us that validation and encouragement. You are destined for great things. I'm so glad I found your channel. I pray God will continue to bless you abundantly.
I love this video so much. I’ve been struggling with depression for a little over a year now and I have so much respect for how you put yourself first. You took charge of your life and put yourself first. So so proud
Life is all struggles and what matters the most is the way you deal with those struggles and i feel that you have conquered through it all and made it on the other side! All the best and take care!!!
Lakshita Ankem hi! I just watches your UA-cam videos and subscribed to your channel! You are such a positive and wonderful person! I hope that there are more people like you in the world today
Hi Deepica, your video was truly inspiring. You could never tell from your snapchat, instagram or any social media that you are going through all of this and that's exactly the stigma with mental health issues and why no one understands them. I suffered similarly myself in the past couple years with anxiety and depression due to extreme university pressures and I burdened myself so much with these worries and exhausted myself. But in the end, you realise everything happens for a reason and the path you have taken has taught you life lessons that you can hopefully carry with you throughout the rest of your life and only become better and better. Thank you for sharing because it makes people who go through the same thing feel normal even though we aren't brave enough to face ourselves against the world like you do
Walk with your Dad reminded me of the walk I had with my Dad when he visited me in Miami, while I was in college. Sadly he passed on. Treasure your parents and time you have with them.
I know the pain of losing a father too....just those sweet memories and talks we had with them is everything to treasure❤️ hang on to the wonderful times...yes that walk she had with her dad reminded me of my dad too😭
You...you Deepica, you're special. Your family ..your backbone , your strength..that will take you way ahead in life. Of all the videos I have seen of yours..This is the happiest I have seen you ..with your family.
I am crying watching this (good tears). I am going through something similar and temporarily moving back with my family (bless them they are my back bone). Thank you for sharing your journey. You inspire me and I think you are an amazing beautiful soul. This video let's me know I can make my future as bright and sparkly as I want. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
the loneliness thing is for real, esp when youre an extrovert. since leaving the school atmosphere its been a struggle to go seek those connections for me too. good on you for doing what you need to. losta love from sugarland!
You're dad is so kind hearted to give something unconditionally. You're very lucky, as my father is quite toxic and rarely understands me. Watching your video made me realize I've lacked true fatherly love.
I felt the exact same way as I was about to graduate from high school, and so I chose to move far away from home. But, now I realize and get how everything is relative to the person! I don't regret moving, because I am independent and self-sufficient, but I wish I had appreciated my family and community more!
Favorite video yet! I moved to NY from Florida and battled anxiety and depression. It was horrible and I'm thankful my loved ones helped me to get thru it. It's a never ending battle for some and it's always refreshing to have someone be so candid about it. Mental health is just as important as physical health! Best wishes for Texas! I'll be watching on snap 😘
I struggle with anxiety and depression, too. I hate not being around people as well and being in med school makes things more stressful. Keep pushing you're not alone and so many people who struggle look up to you and support you!! Just subbed! ❤😘
So excited for you! Nothing better than family, definitely the best support system out there. You're going to do big things in LA! I can't wait to see! Thanks for bringing us along your journey! 😘👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽
OMG! this probably was the most heartfelt video I have seen in a long long time! I have followed you from your days at Birchbox, at that point it just felt amazing to see a brown girl represent in an up and coming make up venture in NYC, but man! you grew, leaps and bounds, and I know other people share this feeling with me, it felt amazing to watch you succeed! good luck with LA, you'll rock as you always have. You are SO gifted. Your very real and raw emotions came thru in your video, in the most organic and unassuming way, which I feel a lot of us have lost along the way going thru the daily grind, but what I saw thru it most was you fighting, and that made me smile even wider...I thought, heres a girl that doesnt give up! you get 'em girl! Waiting to see more vlogs and make up posts xoxo
Deepica, this is exactly why I am such a huge fan! You are so real and down to earth. The depression and anxiety you've been dealing with is exactly what I've been going through for the past two years. I'm actually moving to NY in September for work and was really hoping to run into you! But I'm so happy that you found a solution that's best for you. From one South Indian to another, I can say for sure that all of this just makes you stronger and I know you will obviously kick a$$ in LA! Good luck with everything!
You are seriously so inspirational! Love how your soo real! And not ashamed of anything! Love your videos! It's so cool how you came back home to Houston, I live in surfside, tx! South of Houston! Good luck in LA! You'll do awesome work so excited for you!
I think this was the best video I've ever watched on UA-cam. I am so so so glad you did this, sometimes we just need to hear the words we keep thinking over..this is definitely raw..you've found a lifetime loyal follower/fan in me now. You are an Inspiration! Thank you for being YOU!
From someone who's been around a lot of "burn out" I am so happy to see this. It's clear you're meant to do this job, you're amazing at what you do and an inspiration to many of us, especially Indians. But none of us can do it all & all the time at that. Thanks for being an example of self love and growth. I'll always appreciate the real ones, and you're definitely that. Take care of yourself, Deepica! ❤️
Honestly, this is your best video. Very brave, very real, and I totally get it. It can be lonely here in LA too but surround yourself with friends and all the sunshine keeps you upbeat. ☀️☀️
I just wanted to let you know it was very brave of you to share this on your channel. I personally experienced something similar twice: after I got divorced and right after I finished college. I actually got divorced at 21 (I was a baby!) and I reached this point where all I needed to do was go home for two months and breathe again before transferring universities. Then again when I was 22 and I completed my undergraduate degree I stayed at home for four months before starting my career + graduate school. People gave me flack for it at the time but it didn't matter what they thought. It's ok to take that time when you need it the most. I'm 34 now and I look back at those times and I know wasn't "myself" and I didn't know who I wanted to become-- I wanted to give it serious thought which requires a certain amount of introspection and meditation which is hard to do when you're on that daily grind of everyday life. I know you don't owe anyone an explanation but I just wanted to let you know you're not alone. Fun tidbit: My parents are from the part of India close to where your parents are from (Hyderabad, India).
Hey Deepica, I'm a fellow brown girl from Chicago and I admire your strength SO much for sharing your struggles. In a world of superficiality and sharing only one's successes, you're showing us the real, raw journey. For that, I feel more invested in you personally than any other UA-camr out there. Like you, I'm finally living in a career I have dreamt for but sometimes I run out of steam and just need to regroup too. It's hard to admit to yourself that you've hit that point, but I think that with time and experience, we will learn to recognize when we're getting there and learn to live in a more balanced way in order to prevent ourselves from reaching there in the first place. It's trial and error, and I thank you for sharing your process - it has helped me and other people learn ways to help ourselves. Congratulations on your upcoming move, I'm excited for your new chapter! Stay awesome. :)
I'm so happy that you listened to what you needed and didn't stay somewhere where you weren't happy. Family always makes everything better. Love your channel!!
Loved watching the video. So glad you took time out to look after you. Look forward to seeing you grow even more in LA! Supporting you every step of the way! Much love. xx
It's so easy to take for granted the amazing love and community that comes with being of south Asian descent. I absolutely loved the clips you had from home because it's so similar to my own! Thank you for being so real with us!
i'm so happy you decided to take care of your mental health first. it's so important to FEEL good no matter how great your life may seem. so excited for your new journey! hope it's everything you imagined and more! ❤️
This is such a great vlog because it just shows that everyone has their struggles and I just appreciate the fact that you didn't shy away from talking about yours because even today there is so much stigma attached to talking about subjects like this. I also loved how you figured out that problems CAN be solved and you gotta get up and brush off the dust and keep going, which is so inspiring. Probably my fave vid you've posted so far I LOVED THE RAWNESS
I love how you shared the story of when you quit your job and your Dad gave you an "investment" check. That brought a tear to my eyes. You can truly see how proud your parents are of you, and you are so genuinely happy. Deepica you're such a great inspiration for other aspiring women, but you have to take care of yourself too. Happy Monday!
I love how open and genuine you remain. So happy you got to reset and super proud of you for deciding to move to LA!!! I'm sorry to hear about the break up but I have a strong feeling you are going to be just fine, you star! Much love!!!
Being someone who currently lives with their parents, it's very easy to take advantage of them. But watching this made me realize why it is so easy to live with them in the first place. It's because they're constantly being supportive and understanding of me and always just wanting what's best for me and in the end I can say with 200% confidence that they are my two best friends and that is like the best feeling in the world. Thank you for opening up and allowing yourself to be so vulnerable, I wish you well in all future endevours
this video resonated with me on all sorts of levels and I think you made the best decision to take a step back and recharge around your loved ones. There's something so beautiful about how comfortably vulnerable you can be with your family. This past year was rough for me in terms of anxiety but moving in with family helped me realize where i needed to be vs. where i thought i needed to be. Sending lots of love and positive vibes your way :)
Hang in there love. All have been there n its still the family who comes to the rescue. All the best for LA. Moving on is the only thing anyone should do....
Deepica, this video resonated with me so much. I have moved to NYC thousands of miles away from my family in Australia and there are moments that I feel extremely alone. I teared up watching this. I am so inspired by your journey and I can't wait to see what the next chapter brings you. ❤️
This just soldified every fear and doubt I have in my mind and gave me hope. I also suffer with anxiety and PTSD but watching this has made me realise that we arent alone and its the journey not the outcome that we should be excited for. Thanks for letting us see this side of you, it means the world to us and me as your viewer.
So many young people are dealing with mental issues. Both my son's ages 21 & 23, deal with anxiety and depression and have since they were very young. You are very lucky you have such a strong support system.
Keep the good job up Deepica! Its really hard first of all to accept a problem and tackling it makes you a fighter. Family is always there and you are so lucky to have so many people to love and care for you. Thank you for showing this part of you.
Wow! Deepica thank you for making me realise I am not a weirdo! 😄 That there is another person out there who goes through the same phases and deals with it in the same way as me. I think if we knew each other for real, we would have been friends. I was at the same stage as you, where I was totally overwhelmed with all that was happening, I quit my high stress job, finally got engaged, saw my engagement pictures and realised I was highly overweight, felt totally unhealthy and not ready to take on the world by any stretch of imagination. My parents own a beautiful estate in the Himalayan foothills, pretty far from civilization, phone, Internet, TV. I moved there with my mom for a month and she left me and ran off for some other project, leaving me in charge in the wilderness. It was a crazy experience, I got my inner Rocky Balboa on trained hard, cleaned up my diet, stayed out of touch and basically zoned out for a month and a half. When I finally made it back to civilization I felt like I was ready to take on the world. I lost the weight, organised a big crazy wedding, moved to China with my husband and found a great job. But that was not it, one year on I was burning out again with yet another high stress environment. Once again I went back to India, this time to my hometown Varanasi, for a week. Ditched the business suits and pancake face, put on my cotton Kurta, cooked for my family, hung out with my cousins. Came back to China, quit my job and found something more meaningful, which can make a difference to people's lives - tomorrow I start work at a solar lighting company that helps provide light to people less fortunate than us. Life has many ups and downs, moving to LA will have its own challenges, please don't ever give up being you. Anytime you feel lost, go home recharge - I like to call it centering myself, kinda like when you get disbalanced and need to hold something for a second to steady yourself and then you keep moving forward. Family is that handle that's always there to hold on to. God bless you Deepica and all the best. Eshaa :)
YASSS so excited for you to move to SOCAL!! I hope you love it. Love your videos, cried throughout this one (I'm a crybaby LOL). Hope I run into you when you move out here! ❤️❤️❤️
I could feel the warmth and love of your parents.. You are so lucky to have them as your parents.. Trust me some are not lucky like that... So don't ever feel down girl
Such an inspirational video! something we all can relate to. thank you for sharing your thoughts.. wish you all the best with your move to LA. You will and always have been INCREDIBLE! Keep it up!
OMG.. this video is so relatable to me.. it's been almost 1 1/2 years since I saw my parents and I was just talking to my dad the other day telling him how either they should come stay with me or I should fly down to see them and spend some time with them.. I totally feel ya girl.. I hope you are out of your mini depression and have the most amazing time with your move to LA.. lots of love..😊
Thanks for sharing your vulnerable side with us... it's a big thing to open up and share your struggles with the world. You are so strong and an inspiration to all your followers. Wishing you all the luck for your move to LA. And hope to meet you at one meet and greet here soon! ❤️❤️❤️
It's not easy to admit 'weakness' or show yourself when not all together or at your best (I imagine especially when you're a public figure). But this is real life and the stigma fades as struggling, depression, anxiety, fear, feeling down or just 'off' is shared more. You're helping others realize they're not alone or broken - this is life. And it's hard. You can share how fortunate you are and how amazing life can be and admit that some days are still hard and you're just plain tired. Your family seems amazing and so loving. Indian moms are my picture of MOM, unconditionally loving and sacrificing. And your dad - that support and pride and true love is rare, I'm so glad you have that. The ups and downs produce endurance, and that sheer grit, which is evident even to someone who only started following you recently on UA-cam, WILL take you far. God is real and He can't be stopped! Praying for your uncle.
I myself got emotional after watching this! I too am suffering from anxiety and depression and I know how important it is to be around family or just to have people in your corner! You’re such an inspiration I love your channel, lol when are you having another meet and greet in Houston again? 🤣😂😂
Respect for putting it out there. Lots of people cope with anxiety and depressive feelings and it takes courage to talk about it. Keep up the good work and wish you lots of luck in LA. Keep rocking 😁
Consider you're self lucky for having your parents a few states around . Some of us , come from different and leave our parents and family and everyone we love back there , move to the US , to make it big in our respective careers . It feels like that fast paced life takes a toll on emotional health at times but I guess this is what we were all meant to do ! Be the boss ladies that we promised our parents we'd be and to go out in the ever changing world , keep our heads high and do what we gotta do . Be what we gotta be ! Not only , Fly high in our careers , make our parents proud but also live our dreams on our own terms ! You're an inspiration Deepica ! This vid kept it so real ♥️
I literally felt as if I was listening to my best friend. The struggles are what make us grow as a person no matter how much they suck and I 100% feel you on that. Thanks for sharing this Deepica, I really connected to what you said and I pray that you achieve all your dreams.
What matters is you knew exactly what you needed to do get out of that depression. Family heals everything. When you're surrounded by positivity - positive vibes occur. Good Luck on this journey and can't wait to see it all unfold! 😘😘😘
Of all the videos you've done, this was by far one of my favorites. Would love to see more "behind the layers of makeup" raw and real vlogs like this from you. Life isn't always makeup , smiles , and delicious beverages.... and that's perfectly fine. I think I cried three times during your video. =) Glad you had a chance to recharge at home. In the end, what's most important is health, happiness and family and it's good that you enjoyed all three during your break. Wish you the best in your new adventure to LA, and of course looking forward to more videos.
Literally cried throughout this whole video. I'm so proud of you Deepica. And you're so right about spending time with friends/family. I went through something similar and went back home to NC for 2 weeks and it was the best thing i did for myself. Also that clip of your mom taking dishti was so cute, my mom does the same!!
Deepica you're amazing. Especially at 11:27. I feel like you just get it and you understand. I'm so happy for you. Genuinely wishing you nothing but the best on the journey ahead. Love you lots.
Deepica I can totally relate to you! I'm Telugu too, live near Sugar Land, and also struggle with anxiety. There's nothing I've wanted more than to breath some fresh air each time I'm having a panic attack, and LA is the perfect balance of fresh air and city life. You are my inspiration and a role model to all girls that are like you. I'm SO glad I found a Telugu beauty guru that's so similar to me. Love you, kisses from ktx!!
I teared up when you told the story about your dad investing in you, really shows how much he cares for you and loves you ❤
Nothing like daddy daughter bond
Indian parents across the world are the same. Treasure them.
Take care of yourself.
Absolutely!
I took a 6 month break from college just to chill and try to find myself because I'd been feeling so hopelessly lost and trapped at college. During these six months, instead of feeling less lost, I started to embrace it! I realised that all my life I'd been chasing the dream of becoming a doctor (for my parents' sake more than my own) and I had always wondered if this was teh right path for me. Fast forward after a decade of hard work I'm done with medical school. I did not feel any less lost, so I came back to my parents' house and just chilled with them. When I go back to medical school for my intern year I realize that I'll graduate 5 months after most of my friends. And again, I'm learning to embrace it. I have made peace with my choices. Even if everyone else seem so far ahead of me with their life planned out and shit, I don't give a damn. I am me. And no one can be as me as me haha. THis video comes right as I'm about to leave for college again and it's further proof that everyone, no matter how successful, has felt lost at sometime. So do what you want, do what you're passionate about and your life will bloom
its funny your last name means pearls because u just dropped pearls of wisdom throughout this video. i applaud u for being brave enough to upload this and not be ashamed to deal with mental health so openly. there's a lot of stigma around mental health esp in the indian community and i think that will only change if theres more awareness to it. thank you for being real and staying humble.
Absolutely- real feelings that everyone experiences and they deserved to be spoken openly about
Reading all of your comments and overwhelmed - thank you so much love you all xoxo
Deepica Mutyala no words only one thing wanna say... love you and family...
Deepica Mutyala could totally feel you. And ur voice was kinda quivering which shows how broke u were. But the best part, u got over it! Hope u achieve all kinds of success and gain all the happiness that u deserve (Totally)❤
Trust me, no one can really understand how you feel when you break down but only our parents. They are literally my support system, I never knew what's it's like to shut off until last year. My parents helped me through those difficult times until I gained back my confidence. I'm thankful to God every day that he gave me my truly amazing parents. It's okay to crawl back to your parents now and then and I hope you get better and life gets better and everything works out for you in the end. Damn! You made me cry akka!!!
H Y I agree 100%, my parents helped me come back on my own feet while I was in the lowest point in life.
Absolutely!! Always have your back xo
I totally relate. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself once they're gone.
so true ! Only parents can mould us back again n our siblings next to that. love to you deepica .. you are a rocking person I came across.
Papa Pandu is the father of dreams! The key to life is being able to appreciate all that is good in life but to also recognise the bad and the draining and not feel pressured to disengage with those emotions. ❤️
This was the best personal vlog I have ever watched! I just finished 9 years of school getting my Bachelor's and my PhD (I defended only a week ago) at the same school, and listening to your journey confirmed that I am making the right choice by not looking for a job right away to recharge and figure out what I want to do with my life. I am in a brand new city right now because I moved with my fiance for his job, and am not going to feel guilty for not having a job right now.
Hi Deepica,
according to me this was your best video till now. I love your honesty & appreciate the fact you shared all your raw emotions with us. God bless you! 💕
Thank you xo
all of us living in small towns aspire to settle in big cities actually...but when we do we realise at some point that nothing feels like home...family is irreplacable...atleast we Indians feel like that atleast at some point of our life...n dont worry your family will always have your back😊
debasmita chakraborty I ended up moving back near to where my parents live, I never thought I would but here I am lol. 😉 (I still live 2 hours away but still, pretty close.)
Sukaina Jafri yeah it happens...within a month i"ll be shifting to a big city for my higher studies...though i always wanted that but as the date is coming nearer i just cant help thinking that how often will i get to eat home food in a year or how often after that will i get to eat local street food in my small town
I think it applies to every culture- family is everything xo
Deepica Mutyala true that...but everyone isnt that "family first" type of person...glad that u r...❤❤
What an empowering video!! That moment with your dad in the study giving you the cheque broke me. I was bawling. That's all we ever need as girls, when our daddy gives us that validation and encouragement. You are destined for great things. I'm so glad I found your channel. I pray God will continue to bless you abundantly.
So sweet thank you xo
I love this video so much. I’ve been struggling with depression for a little over a year now and I have so much respect for how you put yourself first. You took charge of your life and put yourself first. So so proud
Sometimes being near family is the best cure!!!!
yes!!
Life is all struggles and what matters the most is the way you deal with those struggles and i feel that you have conquered through it all and made it on the other side! All the best and take care!!!
Lakshita Ankem hi! I just watches your UA-cam videos and subscribed to your channel! You are such a positive and wonderful person! I hope that there are more people like you in the world today
Hi Deepica, your video was truly inspiring. You could never tell from your snapchat, instagram or any social media that you are going through all of this and that's exactly the stigma with mental health issues and why no one understands them. I suffered similarly myself in the past couple years with anxiety and depression due to extreme university pressures and I burdened myself so much with these worries and exhausted myself. But in the end, you realise everything happens for a reason and the path you have taken has taught you life lessons that you can hopefully carry with you throughout the rest of your life and only become better and better. Thank you for sharing because it makes people who go through the same thing feel normal even though we aren't brave enough to face ourselves against the world like you do
Walk with your Dad reminded me of the walk I had with my Dad when he visited me in Miami, while I was in college. Sadly he passed on. Treasure your parents and time you have with them.
I know the pain of losing a father too....just those sweet memories and talks we had with them is everything to treasure❤️ hang on to the wonderful times...yes that walk she had with her dad reminded me of my dad too😭
I hope everything works out for you and you have an amazing life dee 😍😍😍😍😍😍
You...you Deepica, you're special. Your family ..your backbone , your strength..that will take you way ahead in life. Of all the videos I have seen of yours..This is the happiest I have seen you ..with your family.
❤ I've been feeling a bit down lately as well...demanding job and away from family. I needed to hear this, thanks. Best of luck with your move to LA.
Love you so much, your channel makes me feel like I've found a very relatable older sister -- one I've always wanted! Ahh never stop making videos.
If your leg were injured, then you would avoid putting stress on it. You need a break. No shame in that. Wishing you all the best ❤️
Exactly xo
I am crying watching this (good tears). I am going through something similar and temporarily moving back with my family (bless them they are my back bone). Thank you for sharing your journey. You inspire me and I think you are an amazing beautiful soul. This video let's me know I can make my future as bright and sparkly as I want. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
the loneliness thing is for real, esp when youre an extrovert. since leaving the school atmosphere its been a struggle to go seek those connections for me too. good on you for doing what you need to. losta love from sugarland!
sudistars
You're dad is so kind hearted to give something unconditionally. You're very lucky, as my father is quite toxic and rarely understands me. Watching your video made me realize I've lacked true fatherly love.
you have everything more than needed, no reason for depression. parents are the only true well wishers.
I felt the exact same way as I was about to graduate from high school, and so I chose to move far away from home. But, now I realize and get how everything is relative to the person! I don't regret moving, because I am independent and self-sufficient, but I wish I had appreciated my family and community more!
Favorite video yet! I moved to NY from Florida and battled anxiety and depression. It was horrible and I'm thankful my loved ones helped me to get thru it. It's a never ending battle for some and it's always refreshing to have someone be so candid about it. Mental health is just as important as physical health! Best wishes for Texas! I'll be watching on snap 😘
You go girl!!!! xoxoxo literally watched every single second of this!! xoxoxooxox
Love you!!!!
I lost my dad at 15 to Pancreatic cancer and it still to this day takes a toll on my mind. It gets better!!
Hello...I lost my dad too...hope you are healing better from the loss....always cherish those wonderful times...
"Enjoy your life, be single !" 😂. Your family remind me so much of mine. Family is definitely one of the best remedy to our problem's.
I struggle with anxiety and depression, too. I hate not being around people as well and being in med school makes things more stressful. Keep pushing you're not alone and so many people who struggle look up to you and support you!! Just subbed! ❤😘
So excited for you! Nothing better than family, definitely the best support system out there. You're going to do big things in LA! I can't wait to see! Thanks for bringing us along your journey! 😘👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽
Thanks for sticking w me!
THIS is your best video so far. Loved it! Wishing you all the very best going forward
Thank you xo
Your dad: "Don't think of this as me giving you money think of this as me investing in someone I believe in"Me: IM NOT CRYING, YOU'RE CRYING
xoxoxo
Congratulations! Best of luck in LA and good for you for prioritising yourself and your wellbeing.
Most definitely- Thank you xo
Great video!
I started crying right after you said your dad gave you a check. Feels!
Me too every time I think about it hehe
OMG! this probably was the most heartfelt video I have seen in a long long time! I have followed you from your days at Birchbox, at that point it just felt amazing to see a brown girl represent in an up and coming make up venture in NYC, but man! you grew, leaps and bounds, and I know other people share this feeling with me, it felt amazing to watch you succeed! good luck with LA, you'll rock as you always have. You are SO gifted. Your very real and raw emotions came thru in your video, in the most organic and unassuming way, which I feel a lot of us have lost along the way going thru the daily grind, but what I saw thru it most was you fighting, and that made me smile even wider...I thought, heres a girl that doesnt give up! you get 'em girl! Waiting to see more vlogs and make up posts xoxo
Deepica, this is exactly why I am such a huge fan! You are so real and down to earth. The depression and anxiety you've been dealing with is exactly what I've been going through for the past two years. I'm actually moving to NY in September for work and was really hoping to run into you! But I'm so happy that you found a solution that's best for you. From one South Indian to another, I can say for sure that all of this just makes you stronger and I know you will obviously kick a$$ in LA! Good luck with everything!
Thank you xoxoxox
You are seriously so inspirational! Love how your soo real! And not ashamed of anything! Love your videos! It's so cool how you came back home to Houston, I live in surfside, tx! South of Houston! Good luck in LA! You'll do awesome work so excited for you!
I think this was the best video I've ever watched on UA-cam. I am so so so glad you did this, sometimes we just need to hear the words we keep thinking over..this is definitely raw..you've found a lifetime loyal follower/fan in me now. You are an Inspiration! Thank you for being YOU!
From someone who's been around a lot of "burn out" I am so happy to see this. It's clear you're meant to do this job, you're amazing at what you do and an inspiration to many of us, especially Indians. But none of us can do it all & all the time at that. Thanks for being an example of self love and growth. I'll always appreciate the real ones, and you're definitely that. Take care of yourself, Deepica! ❤️
Honestly, this is your best video. Very brave, very real, and I totally get it. It can be lonely here in LA too but surround yourself with friends and all the sunshine keeps you upbeat. ☀️☀️
I just wanted to let you know it was very brave of you to share this on your channel.
I personally experienced something similar twice: after I got divorced and right after I finished college. I actually got divorced at 21 (I was a baby!) and I reached this point where all I needed to do was go home for two months and breathe again before transferring universities. Then again when I was 22 and I completed my undergraduate degree I stayed at home for four months before starting my career + graduate school. People gave me flack for it at the time but it didn't matter what they thought. It's ok to take that time when you need it the most. I'm 34 now and I look back at those times and I know wasn't "myself" and I didn't know who I wanted to become-- I wanted to give it serious thought which requires a certain amount of introspection and meditation which is hard to do when you're on that daily grind of everyday life.
I know you don't owe anyone an explanation but I just wanted to let you know you're not alone.
Fun tidbit: My parents are from the part of India close to where your parents are from (Hyderabad, India).
Hey Deepica, I'm a fellow brown girl from Chicago and I admire your strength SO much for sharing your struggles. In a world of superficiality and sharing only one's successes, you're showing us the real, raw journey. For that, I feel more invested in you personally than any other UA-camr out there. Like you, I'm finally living in a career I have dreamt for but sometimes I run out of steam and just need to regroup too. It's hard to admit to yourself that you've hit that point, but I think that with time and experience, we will learn to recognize when we're getting there and learn to live in a more balanced way in order to prevent ourselves from reaching there in the first place. It's trial and error, and I thank you for sharing your process - it has helped me and other people learn ways to help ourselves. Congratulations on your upcoming move, I'm excited for your new chapter! Stay awesome. :)
I'm so happy that you listened to what you needed and didn't stay somewhere where you weren't happy. Family always makes everything better. Love your channel!!
Loved watching the video. So glad you took time out to look after you. Look forward to seeing you grow even more in LA! Supporting you every step of the way! Much love. xx
It's so easy to take for granted the amazing love and community that comes with being of south Asian descent. I absolutely loved the clips you had from home because it's so similar to my own! Thank you for being so real with us!
Always trying my best to be xo
i'm so happy you decided to take care of your mental health first. it's so important to FEEL good no matter how great your life may seem. so excited for your new journey! hope it's everything you imagined and more! ❤️
This is such a great vlog because it just shows that everyone has their struggles and I just appreciate the fact that you didn't shy away from talking about yours because even today there is so much stigma attached to talking about subjects like this. I also loved how you figured out that problems CAN be solved and you gotta get up and brush off the dust and keep going, which is so inspiring. Probably my fave vid you've posted so far I LOVED THE RAWNESS
Thank you!!
I love how you shared the story of when you quit your job and your Dad gave you an "investment" check. That brought a tear to my eyes. You can truly see how proud your parents are of you, and you are so genuinely happy. Deepica you're such a great inspiration for other aspiring women, but you have to take care of yourself too. Happy Monday!
I love how open and genuine you remain. So happy you got to reset and super proud of you for deciding to move to LA!!! I'm sorry to hear about the break up but I have a strong feeling you are going to be just fine, you star! Much love!!!
Definitely will be fine, time helps everything :) xo
I am so inspired by this how authentically real you are and thank you for sharing yourself withus
xo
Being someone who currently lives with their parents, it's very easy to take advantage of them. But watching this made me realize why it is so easy to live with them in the first place. It's because they're constantly being supportive and understanding of me and always just wanting what's best for me and in the end I can say with 200% confidence that they are my two best friends and that is like the best feeling in the world. Thank you for opening up and allowing yourself to be so vulnerable, I wish you well in all future endevours
this video resonated with me on all sorts of levels and I think you made the best decision to take a step back and recharge around your loved ones. There's something so beautiful about how comfortably vulnerable you can be with your family. This past year was rough for me in terms of anxiety but moving in with family helped me realize where i needed to be vs. where i thought i needed to be. Sending lots of love and positive vibes your way :)
Retweeet!! Exactly how I feel
Hang in there love.
All have been there n its still the family who comes to the rescue. All the best for LA. Moving on is the only thing anyone should do....
Yay for Cali! You're going to love it and good for you for taking care of yourself!
Yay! xo
You're literally the most beautiful person, inside and out, I've ever seen! Such an inspiration! ❤️
xo
Deepica, this video resonated with me so much. I have moved to NYC thousands of miles away from my family in Australia and there are moments that I feel extremely alone. I teared up watching this. I am so inspired by your journey and I can't wait to see what the next chapter brings you. ❤️
This just soldified every fear and doubt I have in my mind and gave me hope. I also suffer with anxiety and PTSD but watching this has made me realise that we arent alone and its the journey not the outcome that we should be excited for. Thanks for letting us see this side of you, it means the world to us and me as your viewer.
Thank you!!
So many young people are dealing with mental issues. Both my son's ages 21 & 23, deal with anxiety and depression and have since they were very young. You are very lucky you have such a strong support system.
Luckiest! Your boys are too xo
im telugu and would love to hear more telugu it's just so comforting
Def will be more to come!
Keep the good job up Deepica! Its really hard first of all to accept a problem and tackling it makes you a fighter. Family is always there and you are so lucky to have so many people to love and care for you. Thank you for showing this part of you.
Wow! Deepica thank you for making me realise I am not a weirdo! 😄 That there is another person out there who goes through the same phases and deals with it in the same way as me. I think if we knew each other for real, we would have been friends. I was at the same stage as you, where I was totally overwhelmed with all that was happening, I quit my high stress job, finally got engaged, saw my engagement pictures and realised I was highly overweight, felt totally unhealthy and not ready to take on the world by any stretch of imagination. My parents own a beautiful estate in the Himalayan foothills, pretty far from civilization, phone, Internet, TV. I moved there with my mom for a month and she left me and ran off for some other project, leaving me in charge in the wilderness. It was a crazy experience, I got my inner Rocky Balboa on trained hard, cleaned up my diet, stayed out of touch and basically zoned out for a month and a half. When I finally made it back to civilization I felt like I was ready to take on the world. I lost the weight, organised a big crazy wedding, moved to China with my husband and found a great job. But that was not it, one year on I was burning out again with yet another high stress environment. Once again I went back to India, this time to my hometown Varanasi, for a week. Ditched the business suits and pancake face, put on my cotton Kurta, cooked for my family, hung out with my cousins. Came back to China, quit my job and found something more meaningful, which can make a difference to people's lives - tomorrow I start work at a solar lighting company that helps provide light to people less fortunate than us. Life has many ups and downs, moving to LA will have its own challenges, please don't ever give up being you. Anytime you feel lost, go home recharge - I like to call it centering myself, kinda like when you get disbalanced and need to hold something for a second to steady yourself and then you keep moving forward. Family is that handle that's always there to hold on to. God bless you Deepica and all the best. Eshaa :)
you should def vlog more!!!
Absolutely am :)
Love your video and that you took the time to reset and realized what you need to continue on your journey happily!!! God bless.
YASSS so excited for you to move to SOCAL!! I hope you love it. Love your videos, cried throughout this one (I'm a crybaby LOL). Hope I run into you when you move out here! ❤️❤️❤️
me too :)
I could feel the warmth and love of your parents.. You are so lucky to have them as your parents.. Trust me some are not lucky like that... So don't ever feel down girl
Such an inspirational video! something we all can relate to. thank you for sharing your thoughts.. wish you all the best with your move to LA. You will and always have been INCREDIBLE! Keep it up!
OMG.. this video is so relatable to me.. it's been almost 1 1/2 years since I saw my parents and I was just talking to my dad the other day telling him how either they should come stay with me or I should fly down to see them and spend some time with them.. I totally feel ya girl.. I hope you are out of your mini depression and have the most amazing time with your move to LA.. lots of love..😊
I loved this video. Probably one of my favorites of yours. Good luck to the future can't wait to see what it holds for you!
Yay!! xo
This video is so moving - just goes to show that the importance of family is so key!! x
Always!
Love this! Family is key and LA is great. I'm a CA native (on the east coast) and I miss it!
Thanks for sharing your vulnerable side with us... it's a big thing to open up and share your struggles with the world. You are so strong and an inspiration to all your followers. Wishing you all the luck for your move to LA. And hope to meet you at one meet and greet here soon! ❤️❤️❤️
It's not easy to admit 'weakness' or show yourself when not all together or at your best (I imagine especially when you're a public figure). But this is real life and the stigma fades as struggling, depression, anxiety, fear, feeling down or just 'off' is shared more. You're helping others realize they're not alone or broken - this is life. And it's hard. You can share how fortunate you are and how amazing life can be and admit that some days are still hard and you're just plain tired. Your family seems amazing and so loving. Indian moms are my picture of MOM, unconditionally loving and sacrificing. And your dad - that support and pride and true love is rare, I'm so glad you have that. The ups and downs produce endurance, and that sheer grit, which is evident even to someone who only started following you recently on UA-cam, WILL take you far. God is real and He can't be stopped! Praying for your uncle.
I myself got emotional after watching this! I too am suffering from anxiety and depression and I know how important it is to be around family or just to have people in your corner! You’re such an inspiration I love your channel, lol when are you having another meet and greet in Houston again? 🤣😂😂
Stay strong. you're doing a great thing. ☺ Your family will always be with you and don't forget your youtube family as well 😍
Xo
Respect for putting it out there. Lots of people cope with anxiety and depressive feelings and it takes courage to talk about it. Keep up the good work and wish you lots of luck in LA. Keep rocking 😁
Consider you're self lucky for having your parents a few states around . Some of us , come from different and leave our parents and family and everyone we love back there , move to the US , to make it big in our respective careers . It feels like that fast paced life takes a toll on emotional health at times but I guess this is what we were all meant to do ! Be the boss ladies that we promised our parents we'd be and to go out in the ever changing world , keep our heads high and do what we gotta do . Be what we gotta be !
Not only , Fly high in our careers , make our parents proud but also live our dreams on our own terms !
You're an inspiration Deepica ! This vid kept it so real ♥️
xo
I literally felt as if I was listening to my best friend. The struggles are what make us grow as a person no matter how much they suck and I 100% feel you on that.
Thanks for sharing this Deepica, I really connected to what you said and I pray that you achieve all your dreams.
Thank you xo
What matters is you knew exactly what you needed to do get out of that depression. Family heals everything. When you're surrounded by positivity - positive vibes occur. Good Luck on this journey and can't wait to see it all unfold! 😘😘😘
Absolutely xo
I really loved this vlog! I am so excited for you in your next new chapter in life 🤗☺️
This is a great, real video. Thanks for sharing. Glad to have you move to LA..good luck with the new adventure!
thank you!!
Totally needed this video . Right time . Having the same feeling . Should get past it soon
Can we please talk bout how beautiful your skin looks. You r literally glowing
love you deeps
Love youuu xo
You know, you two being closer means more collabs!!
Good luck in LAX, can't wait to see your west coast adventure. Congratulations on your chapter in life
is deepica's father a doctor?
Love love love this video!!! Had me in tears. I am so happy you took time to be with your family. Family over everything ❤️Congrats on the big move!!!
Congrats on your move!!
Of all the videos you've done, this was by far one of my favorites. Would love to see more "behind the layers of makeup" raw and real vlogs like this from you. Life isn't always makeup , smiles , and delicious beverages.... and that's perfectly fine. I think I cried three times during your video. =) Glad you had a chance to recharge at home. In the end, what's most important is health, happiness and family and it's good that you enjoyed all three during your break. Wish you the best in your new adventure to LA, and of course looking forward to more videos.
Yessss exactly xo
Literally cried throughout this whole video. I'm so proud of you Deepica. And you're so right about spending time with friends/family. I went through something similar and went back home to NC for 2 weeks and it was the best thing i did for myself. Also that clip of your mom taking dishti was so cute, my mom does the same!!
xoxox
Deepica! I moved to LA from the south too. Lately I've been very down and homesick. It was nice to hear I'm not alone. Thank you!
Never know what people are struggling with internally- glad I could help at least a little xo
Deepica you're amazing. Especially at 11:27. I feel like you just get it and you understand. I'm so happy for you. Genuinely wishing you nothing but the best on the journey ahead. Love you lots.
Thank you!!
I hope that you are feeling better and that your heart is in a better place. Your parents are so sweet! Best wishes on the move
Deepica!! You looked so happy around your family!! Do whatever you need to be happy, congratulations 🎉🎈 on moving to LA
Thank you xo
Wow this was almost everything I was feeling. I had spent a good 2 months with my parents and it made me feel SO GOOD. There's nothing like home
Absolutelyyyy
This video makes me wanna go back home ♥️ I miss my parents and my ppl too much.. you’re so inspiring.. keep up the good work!
iloveeeeyouuuuuu and I'm so so happy for you! 💗💗💗💗 thanks for being such an inspiration to me, hope I can follow your footsteps one day 💗💗💗
Smash it girl, hope you're doing better and are excited about the move and growth :) Can't wait to follow the journey
Thanks for sticking w me xoxo
Deepica I can totally relate to you! I'm Telugu too, live near Sugar Land, and also struggle with anxiety. There's nothing I've wanted more than to breath some fresh air each time I'm having a panic attack, and LA is the perfect balance of fresh air and city life. You are my inspiration and a role model to all girls that are like you. I'm SO glad I found a Telugu beauty guru that's so similar to me. Love you, kisses from ktx!!