I always lacked a older brother to guide me through the intricacies of life or say who actually cared enough to show me the way. Your channel in that older brother to me. Learning through your experiences that I understand myself and life a much better.
That is such a lovely thing to say. I reckon we should all endeavor to be that older, hopefully wiser and kinder, sibling to each other. Can you imagine if everybody just wanted everybody else to be contented?!! What a fantastic world we could have.
at the end of the video, I was just shocked. Like, it was a new way of looking at life. Which offers you a constant reward itself, the process. Thank you so much!
Needed this exact message, as I was contemplating on whether or not to something because I was fearful of the outcome. But now realize I had too much expectation for that outcome. That may be why I had been so afraid. Thanks brother!
Honestly ever since I came across this page couple months ago I’ve been hooked and binged every single one of them. You are truly helping the youth be in control of their emotions and use them for good. Hats up to you mate
What a wonderful advice and way of addressing it. Thank you so much. For me, it was and still is a process. Because of my background and the way I was raised, I almost had expectations all the time. Until someday, when I came to the cold realisation that this is not helpful for anyone: having expectations. And then I started educating myself in this sense. It's a process, based on mindset and repetition. But most of all, it helped me to start loving and enjoying the process. It's the number one skill to have in order to be joyful in life. Take care, guys❤
Yesterday I had high expectations for something I had been working on for a couple of weeks. It ended up not working out and this video helped me understand to cherish the way I worked towards that goal. Looking back, it made me grow anyway. Thanks. Just what I needed!
Do you live a looping series of expansion and contraction, too? A day of high expectation with lots of ideas followed by several days of reality and shrinkage? If this is quite a common way of being - I hope Newel will examine it. It's probably counter-productive. It's probably related to stress and amorphous (and the not so amorphous) external pressure. If it could just slow down - that might be better. Or, maybe worse - the crumple stage is really bad (seriously bad and potentially very dangerous) and I don't know if extending it's time rights is a good idea. I would like the excitement, with it's promise of a sense of agency, to be a longer lasting and steadier climb though. Slow ascent, fast descent and repeat. That's what I'd like. Fast descent into a trust worthy safety net - not hitting several jagged rocks on the way down.
Thanks, it helps a lot. I'm actually in a bad mood these days because some people in my internship are expecting things from me but unfortunately i'm not as smart as they want me to be. Moreover i'm learning a lot from you becaue i'm french and am currently learning english. Hope there's no mistake in this comment.
Are any of us ever really what others want us to be? That suggests the problem is fairly consistent and not in the expectations themselves (as they are a diverse mob). So, you're feeling disappointed with your performance because your colleagues are emanating disappointment with you. No matter whether you ever perform to external standards (which will constantly change - the demands of others are always in flux) you may never feel like you've done it (you might, forever and in every circumstance, feel like you've not given what was wanted). So, then, because ultimately what hurts is your perception of your performance - perhaps it's something you can adjust by yourself. It might include something as silly as deactivating your awareness of sarcasm - so, for example, the next time the boss sees your efforts and say's "Well, that's just great isn't it.." Jump up, raise the hands, and announce "Yes!! It IS!! Thank you for noticing!!" Or, maybe, convince yourself that your mission is not (and never was) what your boss and colleagues thought it was. That way - you are never ever going to be confounding their expectations because they are just not on the same page as you. Also, your mission is secret. Don't tell them what it is. It might be your role to teach your employers to smell the roses, every now and then, by consistently falling short of what they expect from you. Or to force them to experience the benefit of striving (strife?) by making it harder for them to dissolve themselves in ease. They will do that, if allowed, and it's not going to make them core happy. Every micro-expression of dismay or exasperation - give yourself a clap on the back for a job well done! I think the feeling of failure is meant to motivate us to improve. However, it usually doesn't work like that. Failure is subjective and constantly changing, anyway. If it's hurting you and you can turn it off - turn it off. You're neither use nor ornament if it manages to conquer you. Also, if your bosses and colleagues are incapable of encouraging you - that's their failure.
You can promise what you don't have- that's called believing in yourself gaining new skills. Dropping expectations is good, if they like it that's awesome, appreciate your authenticity
I will say this...upon trying to reflect on this lesson, i found myself despite my intentions anticipating a hang out tomorrow then tunneling down hypothetical convos about something i shoulda said moments, and i realize...isnt not wanting a desire or desire itself a desire? Like it becomes a strange circular thing. Allan watts talks about that concept a lot. The weird balance one takes to be spontaneous without an agenda and how hard it is. Would love for you to cover watts work! I still find this one incredibly profound and is something i really wanna work on. Just wanted to share
If i were in that situation, with my sore back against that tree, and my dear friend who I've been carrying said tree with, come back to me with the news, that they don't want it, i would laugh. I would laugh so hard at all of my expectations bursting like a soap bubble. Laugh at a chore unnecessarily done, a rock purposelessly pushed up a hill only to roll down again. That is where the nature of the absurdist lies. You have to laugh at yourself, and dance with naked Hippies at the beach. That's the good stuff.
Did nobody remark that the appointed leader of the group was a bit of a martinet? I would have been hyper focused on that factor. And, you know, there is probably no worse time to be in the presence of a martinet than when stark naked!! Oh, the horror! Or would that make it funnier? One naked person telling another naked person (oh, hang on... Were the boys still clothed at this point? Did they disrobe BEFORE they shouldered the fallen tree, or once they got to the beach, or only after they had been informed that their tree was not wanted (and then they took their clothes off)?) that they have committed a serious faux pas. I feel like that should be an amusing scenario.
I think people who keep thinking of the outcome stress themselves out too much. Life is supposed to be an adventure, you don’t need to know what happens next. Your only goal and focus should be on becoming the best version of yourself. Whatever happens, happens…but just try your best. The effort is the reward.
This is what I learned around 2013. I called it "Do your best and expect nothing in return" This worked pretty well for me for a few years but one day I forgot about this. It's nice to be reminded of it. Shame I didn't learn this on a beach filled with naked women haha
Never expect! Expectations are you trying to predict the future. To avoid let downs and frustration, don't expect just deal with the outcome. Stay Uncommon!
Now that's a proper way to handle Life's lemons, my friend. Well done transmuting hardship into inspiration! I strongly reckon you're talking about Caleta, and if so, we would've almost met right there and then, hadn't I decided to instead check out the party at the Rabbit Hole near San Isidro that christmas. 😅 I actually made a little video series about living in a cave at that exact Hippie Beach and the nearby Barranco. I'm sure you'll love it and it'll inspire enjoyably nostalgic feelings in your chest.
I have a question: how do you combine not having any expectation and visualising (your video from Psycho-cybernetics)? When I visualise an expectation is kinda build, or am I doing it wrong?
I always lacked a older brother to guide me through the intricacies of life or say who actually cared enough to show me the way. Your channel in that older brother to me. Learning through your experiences that I understand myself and life a much better.
🥲🫶
That is such a lovely thing to say. I reckon we should all endeavor to be that older, hopefully wiser and kinder, sibling to each other. Can you imagine if everybody just wanted everybody else to be contented?!! What a fantastic world we could have.
@@GoldilocksZone-665 Can't agree more. True words 🙏
at the end of the video, I was just shocked. Like, it was a new way of looking at life. Which offers you a constant reward itself, the process. Thank you so much!
“The reward is the action” Good words brother.
A man who is focused on his own process and performance, without hitching them to external outcomes, is a man of limitless potential
Needed this exact message, as I was contemplating on whether or not to something because I was fearful of the outcome. But now realize I had too much expectation for that outcome. That may be why I had been so afraid. Thanks brother!
Honestly ever since I came across this page couple months ago I’ve been hooked and binged every single one of them. You are truly helping the youth be in control of their emotions and use them for good. Hats up to you mate
What a wonderful advice and way of addressing it. Thank you so much.
For me, it was and still is a process. Because of my background and the way I was raised, I almost had expectations all the time. Until someday, when I came to the cold realisation that this is not helpful for anyone: having expectations. And then I started educating myself in this sense. It's a process, based on mindset and repetition. But most of all, it helped me to start loving and enjoying the process. It's the number one skill to have in order to be joyful in life.
Take care, guys❤
Well said brother, keep these videos coming. Great storytelling, and great lesson. Billions of us should learn from this.
Yesterday I had high expectations for something I had been working on for a couple of weeks. It ended up not working out and this video helped me understand to cherish the way I worked towards that goal. Looking back, it made me grow anyway. Thanks. Just what I needed!
Do you live a looping series of expansion and contraction, too? A day of high expectation with lots of ideas followed by several days of reality and shrinkage? If this is quite a common way of being - I hope Newel will examine it. It's probably counter-productive. It's probably related to stress and amorphous (and the not so amorphous) external pressure. If it could just slow down - that might be better. Or, maybe worse - the crumple stage is really bad (seriously bad and potentially very dangerous) and I don't know if extending it's time rights is a good idea. I would like the excitement, with it's promise of a sense of agency, to be a longer lasting and steadier climb though. Slow ascent, fast descent and repeat. That's what I'd like. Fast descent into a trust worthy safety net - not hitting several jagged rocks on the way down.
Dude this is some of your best work. My goodness. Ima hafta have a sit for this one and let it sink in...just wow
Thanks, it helps a lot. I'm actually in a bad mood these days because some people in my internship are expecting things from me but unfortunately i'm not as smart as they want me to be.
Moreover i'm learning a lot from you becaue i'm french and am currently learning english. Hope there's no mistake in this comment.
Are any of us ever really what others want us to be? That suggests the problem is fairly consistent and not in the expectations themselves (as they are a diverse mob). So, you're feeling disappointed with your performance because your colleagues are emanating disappointment with you. No matter whether you ever perform to external standards (which will constantly change - the demands of others are always in flux) you may never feel like you've done it (you might, forever and in every circumstance, feel like you've not given what was wanted). So, then, because ultimately what hurts is your perception of your performance - perhaps it's something you can adjust by yourself. It might include something as silly as deactivating your awareness of sarcasm - so, for example, the next time the boss sees your efforts and say's "Well, that's just great isn't it.." Jump up, raise the hands, and announce "Yes!! It IS!! Thank you for noticing!!"
Or, maybe, convince yourself that your mission is not (and never was) what your boss and colleagues thought it was. That way - you are never ever going to be confounding their expectations because they are just not on the same page as you. Also, your mission is secret. Don't tell them what it is. It might be your role to teach your employers to smell the roses, every now and then, by consistently falling short of what they expect from you. Or to force them to experience the benefit of striving (strife?) by making it harder for them to dissolve themselves in ease. They will do that, if allowed, and it's not going to make them core happy. Every micro-expression of dismay or exasperation - give yourself a clap on the back for a job well done!
I think the feeling of failure is meant to motivate us to improve. However, it usually doesn't work like that. Failure is subjective and constantly changing, anyway. If it's hurting you and you can turn it off - turn it off. You're neither use nor ornament if it manages to conquer you.
Also, if your bosses and colleagues are incapable of encouraging you - that's their failure.
Thankyou, what a wonderful story and most valuable lessons ❤️🙂
i dont know anyone on youtube with a more eloquent way of talking about self improvement topics lol. wishing for your success man, love these videos
Thank you my fine sir :) 🫶
You can promise what you don't have- that's called believing in yourself gaining new skills. Dropping expectations is good, if they like it that's awesome, appreciate your authenticity
The man the myth the legend ❤
I will say this...upon trying to reflect on this lesson, i found myself despite my intentions anticipating a hang out tomorrow then tunneling down hypothetical convos about something i shoulda said moments, and i realize...isnt not wanting a desire or desire itself a desire? Like it becomes a strange circular thing. Allan watts talks about that concept a lot. The weird balance one takes to be spontaneous without an agenda and how hard it is. Would love for you to cover watts work! I still find this one incredibly profound and is something i really wanna work on. Just wanted to share
If i were in that situation, with my sore back against that tree, and my dear friend who I've been carrying said tree with, come back to me with the news, that they don't want it, i would laugh. I would laugh so hard at all of my expectations bursting like a soap bubble. Laugh at a chore unnecessarily done, a rock purposelessly pushed up a hill only to roll down again. That is where the nature of the absurdist lies. You have to laugh at yourself, and dance with naked Hippies at the beach. That's the good stuff.
Did nobody remark that the appointed leader of the group was a bit of a martinet? I would have been hyper focused on that factor. And, you know, there is probably no worse time to be in the presence of a martinet than when stark naked!! Oh, the horror! Or would that make it funnier? One naked person telling another naked person (oh, hang on... Were the boys still clothed at this point? Did they disrobe BEFORE they shouldered the fallen tree, or once they got to the beach, or only after they had been informed that their tree was not wanted (and then they took their clothes off)?) that they have committed a serious faux pas. I feel like that should be an amusing scenario.
I think people who keep thinking of the outcome stress themselves out too much. Life is supposed to be an adventure, you don’t need to know what happens next. Your only goal and focus should be on becoming the best version of yourself. Whatever happens, happens…but just try your best. The effort is the reward.
The obstacle is the way - Ryan Holiday
This is what I learned around 2013. I called it "Do your best and expect nothing in return"
This worked pretty well for me for a few years but one day I forgot about this. It's nice to be reminded of it. Shame I didn't learn this on a beach filled with naked women haha
I love the Gita :)
Never expect! Expectations are you trying to predict the future. To avoid let downs and frustration, don't expect just deal with the outcome. Stay Uncommon!
Good shit.
karam karo fal ki chinta mat karo
Now that's a proper way to handle Life's lemons, my friend. Well done transmuting hardship into inspiration!
I strongly reckon you're talking about Caleta, and if so, we would've almost met right there and then, hadn't I decided to instead check out the party at the Rabbit Hole near San Isidro that christmas. 😅
I actually made a little video series about living in a cave at that exact Hippie Beach and the nearby Barranco.
I'm sure you'll love it and it'll inspire enjoyably nostalgic feelings in your chest.
Great video once again!
I have a question: how do you combine not having any expectation and visualising (your video from Psycho-cybernetics)? When I visualise an expectation is kinda build, or am I doing it wrong?
Hey, can I edit your short videos? I will definitely enhance the quality of your short videos. You just have to say yes.
are your eyes different colours dude?