Dr K Gets Emotional Trying To Help Destiny
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- Опубліковано 9 тра 2024
- Dr K speaks with Destiny and tries to help him understand the problems he's facing...
Date: 9 May, 2024
Dr K Tells Destiny His Approach Is Wrong, Gives Solution
► • Dr K Tells Destiny His...
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#destiny
#politics
#debate
Destiny's Media Company And Who He Wants To Recruit
►ua-cam.com/video/v0UpH5Doo6U/v-deo.html
Debate Mearsheimer
❤
i knew it you are a schizoid
9999999
@@ekysnoir8 49:01
My favorite quote from a chatter: "Destiny the type of guy to awkwardly hold the door for someone who's really far away"
😂😂😂😂😂😂im just imagining this
And he'll be hunched down on his phone rapidly scrolling with an exasperated expression on his face while holding it wide open.
He disagrees with the people who think firm handshakes mean anything, so I don't think he'd be the type of person to hold open a door for someone.
I can already hear him ranting about how they can do it themselves 😂
If you think he would do that then you're terrible at reading people's character and intention and you're probably dumb.
@@WanderTheNomad holding the door for someone is about manners and gestures of kindness which he's said matter a lot to him, even towards strangers.
The handshake thing is about obsessing over projecting confidence and demeanor etc. Some people harp on about it when it comes to job interviews or first impressions in general. He's kinda right that it's not that important but seeing photos and videos of Destiny in public with groups of people, he should probably care about it a bit more.
I still remember when they talked about intentional practice and ended Destiny with “That’s why people can play league of legends for 10 years and be at the same rank” ☠️☠️☠️
Destiny has yet to recover from that emotional damage
@@223mrawesome if you think about it he didnt play league since it happened 💀
I think all therapy sessions should be summed up with one good, direct and knowledgeable joke. Bring everything back down to earth y'know?
What is intentional practice?
@@TheUA-camG.O.A.T depends on what you want to learn but its just trying your best to learn not just doing something the best you can. so stuff like taking notes on how you do it or getting a coach/teacher to observe you when you do it to give you pointers testing new ways of doing it to se if its better or worse and if so why so you know what to try next and other stuff like that
Dr K. "So imagine there's a bumbling idiot in the basement and you don't let him out"
Chatter: "Yeah, destiny's gets out when he gives food takes"
And movie takes
@@user-uq4gr5nl5o His movie takes are pretty good
@@user-uq4gr5nl5o His movie takes are alright. I remember the Prometheus rants were funny af
@@amazin7006 He was wrong about Prometheus too
more like he gets out whenever he talks about anything
Never did I expect in my life to see a Dr K chat more toxic than the Destiny chat, that’s fuckin wild
Dude, you have no idea haha I had a conversation on modern dating with some Women on Dr.K’s UA-cam channel and it was crazy how materialistic and shallow some of them were.
The most hilarious one was the one that said Myron from F&F was a 10/10 that would be good in bed and take her places around the world 😂😂 to say that they're not all monks over there would be an understatement. Toxic people seem to infiltrate every community.
@@meme6335 True, just like how I infiltrated dgg
@@meme6335 wow seems like you were being productive
Thats gotta be a troll@@meme6335
It's coz we all like Dr K. It puts Destiny at an automatic disadvantage.
The duality between the two chats is crazy
Help me out, which chat was worse?
@@stank8460 Dr. K's by a mile.
@@TGiSHIllidanServerHow? Destiny's chat spammed "OK" "ANYTHING ELSE" the entire time......
@@TGiSHIllidanServersureee
@@kmb_jr That joke is really just targeted at destiny though. Its not in bad spirit lol
My God both chats were fucking awful in this. Destiny is talking about how his ex partner would get physically violent with him, his chat is laugh and Dr K's chat is screaming genocide. The positivity in Dr K's chat is such a thin veneer it drives me insane
That’s how a lot of these “spiritual” people are. They’re so empathetic and enlightened unless you fail their moral purity test
@andoceans23 at the end of the day, the majority of people have little to no spine to uphold any values because they don't have any. Like destiny has said in multiple conversations but more recently with DevinNash. People like to say they believe in something like forgiveness and compassion but refuse to provide that to people in prison or when either of those virtues are required because they just follow what is easy and sexy to them lol.
I think it is more like there was a huge influx of new people as Dr K got more popular and a lot of people hate destiny.
Why even read the chat, they're just socially neglected children begging virtual personalities for attention and validation. Ignore it and just listen to the conversation
@@SeiryuNanago I saw someone in dr k's chat say that both people on the left and right hate destiny. I feel that, because I have balanced takes, I have now irritated the extreme of each side
The respect that destiny has for this dude is a lil different, how he adjust himself to be attentive in the first 5 mins shows that.
After one of their past convos Destiny said Dr.K is one of the only people he talks to who leaves him feeling like they were on the same or on an even higher level intellectually.
This probably has something to do with the fact that Dr.K is specialized in a topic that Destiny seems to have a specific lack of knowledge in, relative to the things he usually talks about
Gotta hand it Destiny. None of the people he debates from Alex Jones to Nick Fuentes would ever be as courageous to do something like this.
Would be such good content
Gay af
Fuentes therapy session in which he finally comes out as gay
@@sycration lol gay ppl amirite 😂😂😂
@@sycration With the stuff I've heard about him on Metokur's stream, I would not be surprised at all
Dr. K's chat was wild lmao. Crazy to hate on someone who's just talking things out. You have to he blinded by hate at that point.
This actually surprises me. I get Dest can be aggressive in debates and holds strong opinions but I find him ultra reasonable and actually very sympathetic in “orbiter” talks. He’s one of a very few I find interesting to listen to. The hate, especially in the context of a discussion like this where Dest has already expressed favorable opinions of Dr k is bewildering. Very common outside his community though. Idk.
Seemed pretty half and half.
@@JohnHilton-dz4mi sorry I didn't mean the whole chat. I more so meant the people that were hating. I phrased it poorly.
Im sure you could find dr k haters in destiny's chat. This selective perception thingy is just such loser thing that all right/left wing communities feel they need to do
I think its specifically hasan fans and/or the free palestine crowd
Love Dr.K but his community has become weirdly toxic recently. I don't know what happened, but it wasn't like that even a year ago. It feels strange that he feels the need to give the "talking to people doesn't mean platforming their ideas" preamble before his chat with Destiny, as if he's talking to Richard Spencer.
I think there's a crossover from Hasan's community to Dr k's that's my guess.
Also, typically as communities grow in size they get worse. I've noticed it quite a bit here as well.
also dude is just not about politics, and the Israel Palestine stuff is a polarizing topic no matter where you fall in the spectrum. Seems fair that he doesn't want to take a hard stance on that issue, especially when his channel really isn't about politics.
@@mr.OldNews There were so many people in his chat saying a Hasan convo would be god tier 😂
Destiny has gotten more famous by taking a position on a controversial issue. I think Dr K's community is reacting to that.
I could relate a lot to this episode. Not letting people get close because you don’t want to be a burden or have other people as a burden.
I feel like I push people away unintentionally by avoiding to get too close to people because of this kind of discomfort.
Men are taught to not burden others... While women are not. It's an unfortunate reality of our modern society
And what's very interesting is how the final point about being disconnected from the prospective consequences can aid you here.
You are worried about problems yet to happen and are protecting yourself from pain in your mind. You prevent yourself from being too close and authentic because you fear that the relationship will foster expectations of you that you feel you cannot or do not want to meet.
You are afraid of a relationship dynamic that only exists because of what you are currently doing, your in authentic approach to others is informing how you would act if the relationship did get that far, but if you were authentic and for example complimented them based on exactly how you felt, you would foster a relationship where you are able to be authentic and not hide those feelings, while also not having the burden of thinking they will expect too much from you, as they will know it's genuine and not think of it as manipulative or deceiving, because literally speaking it is not and that will show through.
It's building blocks where your authentic self and feelings will produce authentic relationships and eventually build into one where you feel secure and as Dr k said, your feelings are not dependant on theirs, so their moments of struggle with you do not force you to hide away, but rather face them objectively and be able to deal with those problems by first recognising the problem they have with you and understanding it, rather than immediately trying to fix it by either kneeling to them without thought, or ignoring the problem until it goes away.
Atleast this is what I get and how I feel from my own experiences, perhaps I've misunderstood something along the way but this is what I got from this video when applying it to myself.
I have similar issues, and I'm fairly confident I know the cause of this theme in my life. I see a similar event that happened in Destiny's life, that could have triggered it. And I would guess that you had a similar event as well.
I have abandonment issues. This is a subconscious, maladaptive behavior I learned from a very early age. When I was very young, 0-5 years old, my Mom had horrible post-partum depression, so she was unreliable as a steady figure in my life. My Dad owned a business and worked all day. He was out of the house at 6am, and came home at 8pm, so very little amount of time to really form a good bond with him early on. But my Uncle lived with us at the time, and as it played out, he became that "father figure" in my life. But then at around age 5, my Uncle and Mom got in a big fight, and he moved out and across the country, and didn't speak to me or any of my family for 10+ years. Damage aside, what I subconsciously learned was, "If you love someone. They can leave and hurt you." And as a logical child, I needed to form a strategy to minimize hurt in my life. My child brain chose the naïve strategy, "If love = hurt. And I want to minimize hurt. I should minimize love." - So I subconsciously reject anyone's attempt at love / a relationship, because that can be hurtful.
I know with Destiny, he grew up with a Mother, where he felt like she didn't have time for him. And a distant father. Mind-reading a bit, and probably mapping myself onto him too much. He probably had a similar "pseudo parental figure" in his life, that also left early in his life. Maybe like a Grandparent that he bonded with, that died, or became severely mentally ill. And then developed the same maladaptive behavior.
Do you think you can draw any parallel to either scenario?
It resonated with me as well, particularly when Destiny suggests his independence as a reason for his dynamics with other people. I'm quite independent as well. I like doing things by myself and prefer not to rely on others or for people to rely on me. I don't wanna compromise my own time or desires, and I don't want people's feelings to get in the way. At the same time though, I find it tough to say no when I'm invited out or someone asks for something. So I'm independent, but I don't wanna let people down either.
@@RoaringTideYou’re probably not “independent,” you’re probably just afraid of others damaging you so you’ve created a world where you can feel like you don’t need them and they’re of no importance, but you not being able to say no may show that their opinions are hyper-relevant to you. You’re likely afraid they’ll judge you harshly/negatively if you don’t go, which will also feel damaging to you
Sounds like Destiny is afraid of being disappointed or let down, and is careful not to let people get close to the point that they are able to do that to him
I think it sounds like hes just tired of it lol. It's a theme, rinse and repeat. Get disapointed and let down repeat lol. Sounds like he's over it
yeah he's just like house, or sherlock holmes, or itatchi utchiha. so cool
i dont blame him. mo money mo problems.
@@therealexpletive especially if you refuse to be selective at all regarding who gets close to you. I swear Destiny just loves to have insane people around.
@@markpozsar5785he does. he needs the adrenalin from crazy people and the drama they provide in his life. and if he can't find any, he will become that crazy person.
I’m a therapist, been working in mental health 5 years, and Dr K performed a masterclass here. Everything from 52:00 onward was incredible.
michael chandler front kick
This was a *really* good talk
Dr K For Bridges 2024
id vote
Hasn't Destiny always had a bridge with Dr K? Or is Bridges just the category for the best collabs of another community award?
@@RS-fy9hb bridges is name of podcast
Both of them get emotional. You can read in Destiny's face that Dr. K struck a deep chord 2 hours in.
Tryna strike a chord and it's probably A-minor
@@TheFluffyKittyThey not like us they not like us🗣️🗣️🗣️
Yeah it seems like he was getting to talk to a part of D man that hasn't really been leveled with
BALLS DEEP!
@@Stephen88553 WOP WOP WOP WOP WOP!
I'm hooked on Dr. K and Destiny's streams. They always make me realize how much I need therapy in my life lol
Dokter k streams makes me realize I can never afford a therapist as good as him
yeah i'm kind of yearning to get stuff out too tbh haha but it's so expensive
I have similar issues as destiny but I dont think I need therapy, just a good gym session and some distance from people😂
@RinNightshade-en8gy ChatGPT isn't a bad therapist. Therapy's important part is actually just getting you to say out loud what you should be doing. Usually people know exactly what's wrong but are too scared to admit it because of judgement. Everyone thinks its ridiculous but talking to GPT is better then not going to therapy at all.
Dr Quack
Watched on dr ks channel but man this was a great conversation.
Therapy is so gay and scammy its crazy
@@rrai- Then you should start practicing it :D
@@rrai- mirror
@@accant-qg1ys 😏
@@rrai- sounds like you need it
This CONVO NEEDS A PART 2 NOW
Bro, you commented barely 3 minutes after this 2 hours+ video was uploaded and you already asking a part 2. 😂 I have to assume you watched live on stream when it happened
@@creaomega2643 Can't speak for OP, but I listened the VOD on my morning walk this morning.
@@creaomega2643 I did. Was good.
@@creaomega2643
Dr k released this video earlier today
Yeah, they need to talk about his grandma that used to murder his dog every year. Like no wonder you can't get attached to things if it gets taken to the vet every year or so and put down.
Whenever I (female 31) get a compliment from my brother (23) it is NEVER a compliment that I would think to give or that I am seeking out because he truly views the world in a way that's unique to me and has interests that are separate from my own. Because of that they tend to mean a lot to me. Because they are genuine, incredibly thoughtful, and not given just to make me feel good. They are some of the most sincere compliments and I always take them to heart because of this.
They also often make me realise things that I might not recognise otherwise. Which is always cool.
yeah i love when people notice something that i never thought about and compliment me on it or point it out, makes you feel seen and honestly i've been struggling with having lots of surface-level friendships so it automatically deepens the connection and makes you more open
Kinda stunned how toxic Dr. Ks chat was.
I wonder why DrK attracts people that hate D. It’s obvious they have an extreme bias against him even when he’s being open and honest.
@@ediewyse Simple. Destiny doesn't argue from a place of empathy, he argues to be right.
@@spaghettimonster153Example?
@@spaghettimonster153 facts dont care about your feelings? lol
@@spaghettimonster153 I’d love an example of this. Especially in this context. lol
Destiny- so much of what you say about yourself and your experience resonates with me. This was like a therapy session for myself…so helpful. Thank you for being so open about yourself.
These convos with Dr. K are my favorite convos you have. Hes incredibly insightful and I'd love to see many more conversations with him.
*”There’s a guy called Dan…”*
He put a hundred perthent
This was really good conversation, I couldn't just play this in the background I had my full attention on for the entire time, loved this conversation.
I am proud of you DGG. I went to the comments and the first comment I saw wasn't, "3 seconds 4 views, bro has fallen off."
They're getting auto-removed now, thank god. Same as most of the "Destiny is a girl's name" garbage.
@@Stabby666 That lived on for such a long time xD. Oh the good times. Still think there's some version of Bornelli is an italian's name spinoff that's replaced it xD.
But I really can't stand the "x seconds y views, z has fallen off" bs. They're absolutely everywhere, and then you'll have entire bot networks that are self referential, and they'll be spammed across the only 2 socials I use, Insta and UA-cam. The first 6 were humorous, it just got tedious to scroll past them after that.
Dr. K chat is so unbelievably toxic, my goodness
Pretty sure his chat is being brigaded by the "anti-guru" types. They'll sit there and make fun of him for no reason. It's fucking wild.
@@drockopotamus1his chat isn’t normally like that. I’d bet on it being “Mr. Bonelli!” enjoyers and the like, not regulars of Dr. Ks content
Destiny fans calling another community toxic is RICH😂
@@avacadocap9591 did you get triggered little boy?
The chat isn't the topic or the content. Expecting any chat to be based is an exercise in futility.
I love that this guy takes advantage of the best of both western and eastern schools of thought. The eastern world is so much older and has such deep lessons/teachings that the western world still doesn't have explanations/solutions for. Mixing the two, covering the weaknesses of one with the strengths of the other in order to have a deeper understanding of the world as a whole is such a smart and effective thing to do. It's really inspiring to hear how he approaches certain things so differently than purely western intellectuals. I know some people hate on him for the eastern stuff, but I think that comes from ignorance or too much pride.
Pretty much, it's weird that people seem to not like the world we live in yet the world we live in is pretty much a product of the Western way. The West has already done well with the integration of the East when it comes to things like Yoga and Meditation so why stop there? Maybe there's more to examine that could be valuable and aid us?
@@meme6335Yeah I agree 100%. It's not a maybe, it's an absolute yes. Westerns are much more materialistic than what is considered healthy, and eastern ideals of self enlightenment have a lot to do with letting go of the greed and envy that us in the west feel as motivators. We view it as the never ending quest to achieve the American dream, in certain parts of the east they might see it as perversely mentally ill. Westerns are devoutly superficial and it's impacting the social fabric of our countries in increasingly deep negative ways. We have a lot to learn, and part of the problem is that we think we have it all figured out, and that we're the best to ever Human lmao.
I have no idea why, but i see so much of myself in destiny. All of the things he talks about being "strange" about himself are the same as me. Even down to the "Do you think you are a sociopath?" stuff.
I actually feel a lot better about myself after watching this because I've never seen anyone else with the same thought process as me. Im definitely going to be watching more of his content if for no other reason than because he seems a lot better at dealing with it than me and i would love to learn from him.
I have a theory that most people are actually like him, but unlike him, most people don't say it out loud. He's one of the few true representatives of the silent majority.
If you like this kind of introspective content, it's def worth checking out the other past videos where Dr. K and Destiny talked. Second best to that, is probably all his guest appearances on other podcasts, Lex Friedman, Chris Williamson and others. Placed into a kind of neutral position where he's not debating, the man does drop some incredible insights with the way he thinks.
His regular channel, click whatever appeals to you, its more focused on whatever internet/political degeneracy/international incidents is going on but he still drops some good insights occasionally. I found Destiny when he was first hitting the Redpill community and I've been here long enough to begin enjoying the degeneracy AND the introspection lmao. Still don't know if that's a good thing but I'll find out one way or another. Enjoy!
@@Tubeytimedefinitely not the majority, but probably a much larger percentage of people are like this than usually thought
5:25 Jonathan Haidt just wrote a book about exactly this topic. He places the adolescent mental health epidemic squarely at the feet of cellphones, social media and overprotective parenting.
Edit: LOL nvm Dr K brought him up
For anyone curious Haidt is a Dr in Social Psychology and teaches in NY Business School as well as does research.
More and more talks in the EU about raising the minimum age for social media. The problem is enforcement and the rhetoric can get scary quickly (e.g. linking social media accounts to government ID).
@@alexd4566 Canada is trying to pass legislation right now for that purpose. I think government enforcement is a huge issue. I think the best outcome would be legislation setting a cultural standard that people willingly hold eachother accountable for. People I think forget how powerful social/cultural enforcement can really be, and doesn't need to be so threatening to liberty as registering ID to use internet services
@@alexd4566I’d like to find a way to talk to a guaranteed human people online. There’s soooo many bots on Reddit and X and insta and even UA-cam comments. The internet is becoming more dead every day.
@@Rellikan who asked bro
The reason I hated someone staying up for me was that it felt like I was being manipulated, not cared for. Like someone is hunger striking freedom. Instead of just asking me to be home at "X" time, they are placing a soft restriction on my time out. I read it as, "The longer you're out, the worse im going to feel tomorrow. That's on you." Always made me feel pressured/stressed to home earlier than I wanted to be.
I’m getting emotional just thinking about DrK getting emotional and destiny not being emotional. Although I lied. I’m not emotional.
Full Sneako mode
@@realfake3783 I’m also follow Muslim but fail at being islam man.
I'm emotional
Time stamp?
@@calleastrom6557Peterson or Thunberg style?
Destiny has a hard time asking things of people because he hates things being asked of him.
Maybe projecting how it feels to have something asked of him to the other person he would be making the request of.
It seems like because he might have a harder time with emotions overall and can see this about himself and knows a lot of people have different emotional needs he gives into those needs and requests because since he is aware he has some sort of deficit in this just following his intuition might not be considerate. But this is exhausting because he doesn’t listen to what he needs and this feeds into how burdensome requests feel to him which he projects to how requests come across to others and the cycle continues.
One of the best conversations ive ever heard and im only halfway through. Thanks guys.
Dr. K the type of guy to hover "fill" in games with role queue.
I am Fill League Ranked
Good guy
What does that mean?
@@devilmayclarify666 Fill means you cover the least popular slots. In League it usually means support.
@@SporkyMcFly Nah support is very strong nowadays and much more popular, fill varies a lot but support was definitely the least popular for a looong time
Love all of the conversations they had together, hopefully Dr K will be a guest coming back for more and more convos :)
This was unbelievably helpful for issues I have in my own life. More Dr. K please.
I love these talks. It reminds me of when I was in therapy and had a super talented therapist who was a zen Buddhist. It was surprising realizing that a lot of the “mystical” concepts in eastern religions are just very practical practices.
Say what you will about out DrK and his Buddhism, whether you believe or tolerate or not - the guy is just awesome. He is just a good fucking guy.
nah
@@instantsus_ ok
@@bluesh0es he’s the peterson of the left. he says the most mundane, common sense self help. and ya cream your pants
@@instantsus_ ok
I tend to think he's a really good person but there's things about his current lifestyle and past professional stuff that rubs me the wrong way.
He primarily took on clients that were big financial guys, CEOs, and the like. He's also clearly very wealthy. Any time you get a glimpse of his home it's just another large very well furnished room, and the outside looks really nice too.
I understand wanting to give a good life for your family but it still seems quite excessive, especially for someone who's supposedly very spiritual and had actual mentors/gurus and trained for many years at an ashram. Seems hypocritical, and I'm not sure I could be convinced otherwise. Although I'd like to be.
Destiny thank you for having these conversations online I’m learning valuable lessons about myself through your vulnerability I am eternally grateful 🙏🏾
12:42 i had a sudden flash of all the people that have used the phrase "my truths" followed by statements completely divorced from reality
One thing I noticed about Destiny that I've never noticed before: I think he needs people to understand his perspective, I noticed when he opened Dr.K's chat he spent a lot of the time semi-present in the conversation while reading the chat likely because in his mind he doesn't like that people misunderstand his position. I don't think this is a bad thing, but sometimes taking a step back and allowing people to be wrong in their assumptions can actually do you a greater good.
Great point. I'm struggling with this myself in my life in general. Just need to learn to let go.
This is something that I see in myself, and I don't really understand it well. I have an extremely viscerally negative reaction to being "misunderstood". I don't care if people have flawed logic, where they believe that I'm evil, but I think I'm good. And I don't care if people genuinely just dislike me. But what I cannot cope with is, "If people don't 'understand' what I'm saying, and are making decisions about me, based on a misinterpretation of what I said." And this happens frequently in my life. Where I have just come to terms with the fact that I am bad at effectively communicating my opinions.
A common one that happened recently. Someone said, "I hate California." - I pushed back and said, "Why do you hate it? There's so many good things about it, [And then gave 3-4 reasons why it might be a really nice State to live in.]" And then the response to that wasn't, [You're wrong.] Or [I disagree with those reasons.] But it was, "Why do you love California so much...?" And that statement hurts, and triggers me for some reason. Because I don't love California, and I don't have any strong feelings about it one way or another. But I just like to push back and tease out what people actually believe. I wouldn't care at all if I said, "The weather is 85 degrees on average, and that's really nice." And they said, "Hot weather sucks. I would hate 85 degrees all the time." But I care a lot if they thought I said, "The weather is 35 degrees on average, and that's really nice." And so they say, "Yeah, but I prefer hot weather. I would hate for it to be so cold all the time." - That sort of comment would get me unreasonably upset.
I don't care if people have bad opinions about me. But I care a lot, if those opinions stem from a misunderstanding.
It's understandable and something I have to work on as well. One of my biggest pet peeves is when I think I've explained something well and laid out my thoughts clearly yet someone somehow gets a completely different message from what I said, it's even worse if they get angry at me for something I didn't actually say.
Logically I know that how people react to what I say is often independent of me but I just fall into this trap of thinking that there's got to be a route to a mutual understanding between me and the other person. I think if I can get better at this it will also help me handle rejection better too.
dam your perceptive
@@RGS578 So if I'm right in thinking, for you: You don't particularly mind if people react positively or negatively to your opinion, so long as their opinion holds weight because it's first understood exactly what you meant allowing them to cast accurate affirmation or criticism. If this is accurate, how would you describe the difference in the outcome to these two peoples of situations (Situation one, being understood, and situation two, the person not understanding your perspective yet commenting). Does it change the process after for you, do you reflect more deeply about your own position if they understood you, or is the outcome the same in either case?
The example of a parent coming to the music recital randomly hit home with me so hard. Dragged up a vivid memory of me noticing my mom in the lobby on the phone right after performing a solo I was super proud of during a jazz band concert…
my heart goes out to you honestly. i teared up at that part, i grew up with my mom super present and we're best friends to this day so this kind of stuff is super upsetting for me to hear. showing up is so important :(
Wait, y’all had parents that went to your things?
Such a great conversation thank you 🔥💞🔥
This is such a pleasant surprise ! Much appreciated Steven :)
This was amazing! It was great to hear this side of you, open, a bit vulnerable and self-aware. It also made me do a great deal of self reflection. Well done.
Great discussion. I've recently had some negative experiences at work and this talk has helped me frame a more positive mindset about the situation
I really appreciate that Steven was willing to leave this open for all to see... I feel like I gained a lot of perspective on my own life hearing him work through his with Dr. K. Proud to be a Daliban agent today
Great conversation! I always get a lot of value out of conversations between you two. I have ADHD and relate to how Destiny thinks in a lot of ways although I am less functional in many ways. Maybe his career allows him to live easier with the adhd though. I still have a lot of life ahead of me though so hopefully I will learn ways to cope better.
This was incredibly educational and great, from both parts. Loved it!
Please do more of these, I legit found this super useful
Such an incredible conversaion, I'm sort of a people pleaser like Destiny and a lot of this discussion hit close to home.
Looking forward to this
Destiny is so irritating that she even made Dr. K cry. Our queen is truly talented. 💅
Drizzle drizzle 💅
The irony of a “Destiny is a girls name” bot calling someone else irritating. 🤣
I feel like the thumbs down function doesn't do anything but at least it makes me feel a little better.
@@Stabby666Bot? I'll have you know that I am a very unemployed human being thank you very much.
@@Operation_C4 so a bot
This was personally really helpful and insightful. I have a lot of similar people pleasing tendencies and take on people's emotions and generally avoid friendships because I view them with the similar idea of the burden or that they will somehow take away my freedom or create expectations I don't want to have to live up to. Thanks for sharing the conversation.
This is such a fantastic conversation. I think a lot of people will connect with what’s being said here.
Man, this was such a good watch.
I love these convos with dr k so much. Stupidly, I resonate with a lot of Steven’s past and behaviors in closer relationships now. This definitely gave me food for thought.
I found this conversation really helpful. Thanks for being willing to talk about this stuff publicly Destiny!
Love Destiny’s comment here about how fundamentals of psychology/being a person being taught to everyone and not just to people who seek out therapy.
looking at dr. k's chat mald was the funniest part of this video
What were they malding about?
Is was pretty half and half tbh
dont be such a community partisan loser - both chats (all chats) can be complete degens
@@abdmzn Israel
@@prodkevv4104 Does Dr. K have an opinion on that?
Honestly, one of my favorite conversations in a long time.
Dr K is incredible. He seems to make the othet person very comfortable and his ability to lead the conversation and especially tie things together is just amazing. The quote "Take a step back and listen to the music" hit so hard because it was such a good full circle with Destiny's prior example and it fit so well in K's. Also, I related to a lot of the conversation later in and it got me emotional. Destiny's honesty and willing to talk about things like this and K's way of navigating a conversation bro.
Amazing
he's so good at using the person's language back at them too. i noticed how towards the end he was quoting destiny back at him (edit: around 2:03:00 he brings back the kayaking thing from the beginning). makes you feel seen and heard literally
Again, another really really great conversation. Looking forward to seeing more of these in the future.
Destiny becomes emotional during a conversation with dr k, not beating the woman name allegations, pls dont ban me august.
Are they banning these? They're so funny.
Bot account
@@ggs3442it's stolen someone else's comment
@@ggs3442 They were never funny and even if they were the joke has been beaten to death over several years
1:01:00 omg this is me. I had no innate understanding of social interaction as a kid. As an adult I literally evaluated the other humans around me and copied what I observed to me the most positive and beneficial ways to behave to get the best outcome. I felt and still feel like a fraud sometimes. Now I put on confidence and charisma, look people in the eye, use the correct small talk at just the right level, etc, and based on years of observation and practice I have finally blended in to this strange society that was not built for me at all.
You just perfectly described having Aspergers Syndrome.
Too real man
yes, it's called autism
Same here. I feel like the social part of my brain is malformed and I have to pass social interactions through the logical portion of my brain to compensate.
Steven please… more conversations like this. I swear I learned so much about myself from this
Thank you so much for this
Having a destiny video remind me I am more emotionally disabled than I thought is quite humbling.
I love these conversations that Destiny has with Dr K. Keep at it Steven
This talk helped me a lot, as I struggle with the boundary between emotional states as well, and I'm writing this comment to hopefully cement that lesson in my mind.
I love these conversations with Dr K. I am not one to care much for political debates or discussions so I miss out on the other type of content but these talks resonate with me a lot as a psychologist and it's been great to see the back and forth between you two.
Tech’s Dialogue with our Kids by Bo Burnham. Also, Tristan Harris and Jonathan Haidt have been fairly vocal on this.
Ideal Friday night content!
Doctorkay....donktorkay... donnnkay. Dunno why I'm explaining to the youtube gods, but that was a gold joke
I feel like I get way more out of Dr. K's talks than I do talking to my own therapists
This was an amazing conversation.
I don't expect anyone to love or glaze Destiny, but when chats are blindly raging at things that are not even being discussed, that is always a clear sign to me that there is brainrot present.
2:10:39 thats a quote right there. "The path to spirituality is a license for assholery"
Interesting to see the chats watched on Dr.K stream I appreciate the absence of chat but knowing that this shit was going on is crazy
What a GREAT conversation! Thank you Steven! 👊
I also just wanna say that for me I think getting diagnosed with ADHD saved my life. I spent my whole life with a bad understanding of ADHD, I didnt really know what it was beyond super hyper kids disrupting class or something. I had always been a spaced out imaginative kid so I never once considered I had ADHD.
Id always been unbelievably disorganized in every aspect of my school life (backpack, locker, agenda, homework you name it, I had no idea where anything was) but I was able to do well regardless just by listening in the classes I was interested in and by chaotically studying last minute in hallways for the many exams I completely forgot about. It was stressful and I surely could've got better grades if I had a more organized approach but I did pretty well despite the chaos. That made me feel like I must be decently smart to do so well with so little effort and so I was able to delude myself into thinking I was choosing to put little effort since I could get away with it. Id tell myself if I wanted to I could do better but since clearly I wasn't putting in that extra work then I must not have wanted to.
I moved out after high school and have lived alone for 6 years since then. At work I've always been loved by my bosses and coworkers because I don't like to waste time at work and am very productive and friendly in group efforts. The big problem that rose up though is that I continued to be horrible at taking care of myself. I would tell myself that it was because I was spending too much energy at work and had none left for myself at home but as time went on it became painfully clear that the issue was; when I am only accountable to myself I am incapable of doing the bare minimum. Even as a kid I would always be cursing myself for being cruel to my future self by procrastinating and lumping all my present problems on my future self.
After years and years of desperately wanting to change my behaviour as an adult, my repeated failures to do so started to reinforce extremely negative self talk that went a little like this : "Why cant you work 5% as well as you do at work when you are working for yourself? Clearly you objectively don't care enough about yourself to do the bare minimum. No one else has this much difficulty doing the bare minimum whats wrong with you? So much for being smarter than your peers, you must be some kind of incredible moron. Or worse, you know what you need to do, what you need to change. You can intellectualize every angle of your problems but you don't act on it. You must really hate yourself, just look at how you treat yourself." and so I started to truly hate myself because I had identified myself as the cause of all my problems.
Absurdly I don't think anyone in the world hated me at all, and definitely not to the degree I hated myself. I always make an effort to be as kind and polite as I can with everybody so I had no enemies and no one had any idea how much i was struggling at home and in my head. I was self aware that the negative self talk was not helping me but couldn't stop it every time I let myself down. I figured I must've developed depression because my thoughts were almost always negative. Spent a couple years trying to deal with that but nothing really helped with that because the root of the issue was my inability to care for myself as I saw it. (Also developed a marijuana addiction during this time as self-medication which eroded my self esteem even further when I would try and fail to quit.)
Finally a sibling of mine talked to me about ADHD and although I dismissed the idea at first because of my misconceptions about ADHD, after she got diagnosed, I learned about how genetic ADHD tends to be so I started to do some research. It was scary how exactly I was being described by what I read. I was resistant to the idea for a while still but the more research I did the more I realized how much sense it all made. Finally I got myself a doctors appointment and ended up being diagnosed.
In retrospect my whole life came into clarity. And the recent mental struggles made more sense as well. Understanding what my particular challenges were (un-diagnosed ADHD) and better how to address them Immediately relieved me from most of the harshness of my self-talk and the depression started to lift away because it was never the root problem. As I learn how to cope better, resist quick dopamine seeking impulses, and direct my thoughts and efforts more productively my life and mental has improved tremendously. I've been on ADHD meds as well and they also have been helping me so much. For the first time in a long time I am starting to love myself again and have hope for the future.🙂
Just wanted to write this all down for my own sake and because it feels good to start thinking about that dark time as in the past. If anyone reads this hope you just know that whatever it is you're dealing with, you can get through it and look back at it eventually! I know it doesn't feel like it when you're in it though. I was very depressed for almost 3 years and imagined blowing my head off daily. It was impossible for me to feel like I could get better or that there was light at the end of the tunnel but I promise you there is. Depression is a temporary state of mind even if it lasts a long time and I guarantee your life is worth living once you make it to the other side. No matter what you do don't act on an irreversible solution to a temporary problem.🙏
I often wish I had been diagnosed a lot sooner cause I know I could've avoided a lot of suffering if only me and my family had known more about ADHD but I'm grateful I figured it out at all.
I think its important for everybody to learn a better understanding of ADHD because I'm sure there are many people out there with similar misconceptions to mine. I also hope, as society develops a better understanding of ADHD, that less people let the shame and self hatred from living un-diagnosed fester like mine did. Dr.K has some awesome work on ADHD if you are looking for a place to start learning.👍
Anyways if anyone actually read all this I'm impressed lol congratulations😂 Have a good day and a good life!
Man, I relate to this so much. Thank you for sharing!
you put my entire experience with ADHD into words (even the marijuana addiction)! amazing!!!! I'm struggling to finish a master's right now because of the arrogant delusion that since I can be successful at things I don't put a lot of effort into, then that must also mean i don't need to put in a lot of effort to be successful. WRONG! anyway thank you, have a great day and a good life! :3
@@CyberGirl1234 Yeah honestly that is a kind of funny silver lining from all this. I never cared about social cliques or if people didn't fit in for whatever reason and I'd just befriend whoever if they seemed to like me and we get along well. Fast forward to now and some of my closest friends have been diagnosed with ADHD and others with ASD. Neither me or my ADHD buddy were diagnosed till adulthood but in retrospect it makes perfect sense why we get along so well; because we have very similar brains😂
Its really nice to be able to talk about your life experience with people who understand so well. Especially since you spend your whole life thinking there's something uniquely wrong with you till you suddenly find out there are tons of people with the exact same brain structure and because of that almost the exact same life experiences lol. That's why I felt so exposed when I started researching ADHD. They describe me to a T because my experience isn't unique, it turns out its extremely typical among us (even the marijuana addiction).
Anyhow I'm happy this reached another human being somewhere.
Good luck with your master's degree! If you made it this far you can definitely reach the finish line! And yeah the switch from perceiving yourself as a gifted child to a failed adult is soul-crushing but it sounds like you've come to terms and overcome that already👍
In short keep it up! I have faith in us. And try not to lose momentum cus getting going again can take a gargantuan amount of effort it feels like. And if you do lose momentum or slip up just try to be kind to yourself, If you say you're like me then you are too hard on yourself lol.
OK looks like I failed to keep it short but whatever. Bottom line consider this an internet hug!
🖖
I read it
@@eddiebarton7217 You're a trooper dude! here's your badge🧠😂
This was a great conversation, props to Steven for allowing it to be put out in the world. Striving to be better is hard, but once it is, it becomes easy.
This was sooo good! Bravo.
Great video. I find myself having the same issues when it comes to having a connection with others and this vid helps a lot with moving forward and developing relationships with people without putting my centered state at risk.
I swore off therapy as completely unhelpful for me personally years ago, but watching Dr. K made me think maybe I swore it off too hastily.
Its a battle but finding a therapist that clicks with ylu is very powerful. I lucked out, and minds made me not want to kill myself. She had been helping autistic people and helped me find out im high functioning. When you get one that actually is open to different minds its a great change. 😊
you need the right therapist thats all
If you love music so much whens the album dropping hun?
Great point about authenticity in interactions. Great dialogue.
Great conversation 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
Had to pause the video because I saw myself here. I started playing Guitar when I was in highschool, did art before that and now I do landscape photography. Ive always had an artistic side of me and the rest of my family didnt. They would tell me my grandmother was a painter and maybe I inhereted some talent. As I practiced guitar, I would learn things that took me weeks to do. Stuff that was really impressive to my guitar playing friends and when I would play it at home.. I would get nothing. My dad was only home on weekends and was more interested in the TV, only sparing a side eyed glance while wishing I played football or was in the air cadets and my mom would ask if things I was playing was considered 'a song' or music... then ask if I can play chords and learn some church hymns. Im in my mid 30's now and I can take a photo that I get print sales on or accolades for online.. and my mom will see it and say things like.. shame they werent wearing a different color jacket... Theres never a 'good job', or 'wow thats really good'.. I have to go to strangers for that. I love my parents and im grateful for my upbringing.. but I'll be damned if I bring that kind of discouragment to my kids. I started to resent the "maybe you inhereted some talent".. no.. I worked for all of this. There were other things too.. stuff we just couldnt talk about because my mom would get defensive even when speaking in generalities or not be able to comprehend or outright dismiss things..maybe were supposed to outgrow our parents but it feels bad to put them in a little box and only interact with them on the level theyre on. I truly appreciate everything they did for me, it was more than I could have asked for, I just wish they were able to communicate.
I really wonder If Destiny feels he had to do the same.. Take people he reverred and realized he's outgrown them in a way. His success and bailing them out being the further proof of being who he tried to communicate he was capable of being the whole time and getting no acknowledgement of it. You continue to punch upward and part of you acknowledges that their general disinterest is part of what drives you to continue to press onward. You dont know whether you should be grateful they didnt recognize you or keep going until they admit they were scared/jealous of or couldnt acknowledge your greatness, which you know they'll never do. Its like the movie whiplash. We want that moment where his dad is watching through the door at the back of the hall as realization washes over his face of just how fucking serious you were.
Social networks negative impact on mental health is something I'm old enough to have witnessed the steady progression
This is very enlightening to listen to; twice as much high. The ADHD energy from Destiny with the calm Dr K. And next to that, a visible difference in chats. Bravo. Bravo.
This is therapy for anyone listening.Lots of relatable topics.
Dr. K's chat is hilarious. Feel bad for them.
The part where him not wanting to disappoint people briefly touched on his open relationships was thrilling, inspiring, brave and had me at the edge of my seat.
I actually really liked this talk, it helped me learn something about myself.
This conversation helped me.
I liked the talk about perception and relating it to music, it reminded me of what my college drawing teacher really emphasized when making (representative) visual art. Theres a bunch of ideas about 'how to draw' certain objects or even environments(geometries of perspective, anatomy, etc) which have value to learn, but if you want to draw a thing that is in front of you, just perceiving and drawing that perception without mediating a bunch of 'what is this supposed to look like' is the best and only thing.
All this has resulted in my very favorite pieces I've ever made and all have extremely distorted perspective and even don't have immediately determinable subjects becoming a sort of abstracted piece within space that's a little unclear despite being drawn from real model/sight.
Reminds me of that trend where artists would draw from real reference photos, but draw them upside down or at an angle, so their own perception of how things "should be" in their head wouldn't cloud the way they see certain angles on the reference.
I love it when my echo chambers collide.
Been binging both destiny and dr k recently
Fantastic conversation. Love the mutual respect and understanding and making room for eachother
hello mr editor, something in the audio very slightly clipping, please fix it is driving my ears insane