ITJ here, I experience both of the things you described, it's interesting to me how you describe the back and forth between them. I recently experienced the "what am I doing with my life, this isn't right for me at all" in my early 30s....and have started turning everything upside down to find what is.
INFP Better Decision Making: Stop 2nd guessing. Stop overdoing consensus building. Practice quicker thinking. Be content with your decision. Give your self-critic less time in your head. No need to justify your decision with others.
Dude I totally agree, I feel like in a situation, I can either think really hard about something, or take immediate action, but not both. I usually pick the overthinking strategy and it's a great way to never accomplish anything
Practice differentiating between small and big decisions. It’s not the same if you’re choosing a new notebook and a new job. ( trust me INFPs can get so far to spend equal amount of time on each). I’m not trying to be harsh, just an observation and im sure not all INFPs are the same. I like INFPs, I get them more than people would think, we have many similarities. 🤗🤗😊 ESFP
This is absolutely true for ESFPs. Step into it, gain experience, persevere, and you’ll become excellent at it, no matter what. Easier said than done, I know. But that’s how ESFPs learn and get good at something. Learning by doing. The weak point is lack of perseverance. Overcome that and you’re in your way to success. ESFP
Hi Ann; 'practice makes perfect' is spot on. I'm curious as to why ESFP struggles with perserverance; is it the SF or the E? I'm kinda new to this (just watched Matt's 'top 10 books' and will get a couple of them for sure) so i'm still getting to know the 'jargon', but i have no problem obsessing over a subject ^^
reson8 it’s because we tend to live in here and now. It’s our strength and weakness. Perseverance means long term insight into the cause and effect and the outcome of that. ESFP ( and ESTP for example) doesn’t like that. It doesn’t inspire them, it’s boring and has nothing to do with actual reality, with palpable here and now which we thrive in . Throw us in a chaotic problem, we’ll deal with it with a breeze. Put us in a long term “ what if” and we get agitated. It’s all about here and now. So yes definitely main Se function.
You gave very salient advice and explained these really well. “Feeling” is about our values too - not just emotions. As I am maturing as an ENTJ I am starting to make more of my long term goals and plans based on my values. I appreciate romance and I deeply value my marriage, so recently we are working on a goal of buying a retirement bungalow, near a lake, in a very romantic spot. I have also learned to reach consensus more in my decision making, though that one is still hard for me. My teen daughter is INFP and I didn’t realize these parallels until you enlightened me - Thank you
Thanks for expanding (in every way). I’m happy that your INFP daughter has a mother that is willing to explore the dynamics of her inner world AND your relationship with her.
In a nutshell it's a cycle between: 1.) Oh I got to get my ducks in a row in order to do what I want. 2.) *accomplishing things montage* 3.) Err... why am I doing this again? 4.) *internal screaming* Back to no. 1
@@GeekPsychology i know it by the end (if i get results that satisfy me). And also if I feel like i must do that and only that then I know it's the right choice.
I'm an ENFP or XNFP (maybe even XNXJ). My early life sounds like a NTJ according to what you are saying. I'm defenitely no a J though. I've been trying to figire out a problem that I haven't had words for. I am a religious person, but religion is supposed to define your values. I am also struggling with understanding Ne versus Fi. The Rick and Moirty thing- yes!!! That's what my life is like.
Trinity talked about this in matrix rez. She was questioning her life after so much accomplishing. I tell you this, I have the same questions. The matrix is loud and confusing.
Omg you're outside! Cute bubbles at the end :) Edit: Ok, (intj) and i'm at it again with the definitions and boundaries... I find that 'better decisions' depend on what the outcomes are. If it's simple efficiency then there is an optimum decision and alternatives are inferior. If a 'better' decision results in someone feeling better or not being upset, or doesn't introduce change for it's own sake, then take it. I think the cost/benefit analysis is the quality sift for decisions; if it's inclusive, logical and methodical you will have an objectively better decision than if you just winged-it on a hope and a prayer.
Yeah, beautiful day! I named it better decisions because I felt that both Te and Fi were looking for their version of what makes a decision "right". It's a difficult one, but I think that's what they're both searching for.
reson8 i just have to chime in. Your comment on “ to introduce change “ reminded me of me( ESFP) . You ( INTJ) and me (ESFP ) have Same functions in the first four slots. Albeit completely other way around but still. But we both like to stir things up in order to get out of stagnant, mainstream, boring ideas. In a very different way, of course, but still 😁. I love INTJS to bits because we actually understand each other, we can argue about same cognitive functions we have, yet we’re so different. Love INTJ/ESFP love hate relationship ( for the lack of better words).
Also thank you for this video, my daughter is INFP, I’m ESFP, and while you’d think we’re extremely different, we’re actually not. We just “get” each other on so many levels, I intuitively know where’s she coming from. And I intuitively respond to her in a way where she doesn’t feel judged, misunderstood or offended or rejected. On the other hand, she has quite a few “ I’m miffed because you did this or said that “ moments with my husband ( her father), despite the fact he should be theoretically closer to her type ( He’s INTP). Both her and me have Fi and Te in the first four slots. My husband doesn’t. ( this is just an example from real life). Thank you for this video, it clarifies so many misconceptions and points out the importance of looking into cognitive functions.
Very interesting topic. from my own experience i think INFPs struggle a lot with bringing their ideas to existence, and i guess its due to their low Te. but i think, its also not easy to make goals and colaborate with others, cuz nowadays business isnt based on values but more on making money and make material gains, so when we try to be a part of this system, people think that our ideas are naive or impractical, and they just assume that the current system is just fine.
but business and relationships are based on the value you give. the more "valuable" interactions you have, the better your life will be imo. still workin on that formula though lol ;)
Aisha Aicha Business is all about making profit. You’re right there. It has always been like that and it’ll always be. What’s important is how they treat people working for them. Some conditions are fair, some atrocious, and then you have everything in between. I don’t think many people think deep down the system is just fine. Most people see bad sides of the system. But what can you do if you’re an employee? You can decide if the company is ok-ish or not. If it is, you need to go with the flow. Corporate system isn’t interested in good for all people. It’s up to you as an individual to decide where do you fit in, and what can you do for your own beliefs as we as for the company that pays you to do the job you agreed on. Unfortunately that’s how it is. ESFP
Thank you, Sherman! I really needed this video tonight. I am trying to grow and explore. You rock, Mister Sherman. Yes, a geeky way of saying things. :-)
How would the function dynamics play out in aux vs. tert and dom vs. inf positions if the judging functions were in conflict with each other, i.e. if the push and pull between the functions was negative in nature, causing internal conflict within the individual. And how should one begin to alleviate the tension depending on where the functions fall on the function stack.
I made some videos on Loops and Stress Relief for different types, that might help you. There's other content out there on it too. IxTJs are likely to lock down on strong emotional decisions and use that to support their perceptions... grudges, sore spots, and convictions keep you pursuing more synthesizing of ideas and concepts for the INTJ for example.
@@GeekPsychology Thanks for the response, I'll check those videos out. Also, before I find time to watch those, I'd like to ask whether the action of systematically destroying yourself/punishing yourself in response to intense self-hatred and frustration/anger (as opposed to striving towards self development and achieving positive goals) could be linked to unhealthy dominant or tertiary Fi, an unhealthy Pi-Fi/Fi-Pi loop perhaps?
Wata I think you are putting way too much weight into this scientifically UNPROVEN theory of types and cognitive functions. Also you’re really good with the jargon and you know what you’re talking about when it comes to functions etc. What you need is to bring it down a notch, look at yourself as an individual and deal with your OWN PERSONAL problems as opposed to look for MBTI to solve it for you. I’m sorry for being harsh here, but that’s my advice from the bottom of my heart. ESFP
@@annsmith936 I appreciate your concern and I don't think your advice is harsh. However, you might be jumping into conclusions a tad too fast. I'm aware of the unscientific nature of personality theories (and psychology in general). The way I see it is that these theories can be used as a tool to organize your psyche and analyze how its components dynamically interact with each other within the bounds of a given theory. The theories aren't the be-all end-all of everything, but a mere tool you can use to try to understand yourself and others among other methods. My questions are driven by personal curiosity towards this particular theory in attempt to see how it would explain certain phenomena of the psyche, mine or someone else's. That and I'm still trying to discover my type. That being said, I think the points you made are important to keep in mind for anyone that has the tendency to become too attached to a theory and use it to excuse certain problematic behaviors or thought patterns. Cheers!
ITJ here, I experience both of the things you described, it's interesting to me how you describe the back and forth between them. I recently experienced the "what am I doing with my life, this isn't right for me at all" in my early 30s....and have started turning everything upside down to find what is.
INFP Better Decision Making: Stop 2nd guessing. Stop overdoing consensus building. Practice quicker thinking. Be content with your decision. Give your self-critic less time in your head. No need to justify your decision with others.
Dude I totally agree, I feel like in a situation, I can either think really hard about something, or take immediate action, but not both. I usually pick the overthinking strategy and it's a great way to never accomplish anything
Those resonate with me as an ENFP, except for maybe the quicker thinking part. Sometimes I jump to actions really quickly.
Practice differentiating between small and big decisions. It’s not the same if you’re choosing a new notebook and a new job. ( trust me INFPs can get so far to spend equal amount of time on each).
I’m not trying to be harsh, just an observation and im sure not all INFPs are the same. I like INFPs, I get them more than people would think, we have many similarities. 🤗🤗😊
ESFP
@@annsmith936 lol! I know how you feel, it's hard for me to even decide what to order from restaurants most of the time
Huskyfish14 😊🤗 my daughter is INFP.
This is absolutely true for ESFPs. Step into it, gain experience, persevere, and you’ll become excellent at it, no matter what. Easier said than done, I know. But that’s how ESFPs learn and get good at something. Learning by doing. The weak point is lack of perseverance. Overcome that and you’re in your way to success.
ESFP
Hi Ann; 'practice makes perfect' is spot on. I'm curious as to why ESFP struggles with perserverance; is it the SF or the E? I'm kinda new to this (just watched Matt's 'top 10 books' and will get a couple of them for sure) so i'm still getting to know the 'jargon', but i have no problem obsessing over a subject ^^
reson8 it’s because we tend to live in here and now. It’s our strength and weakness. Perseverance means long term insight into the cause and effect and the outcome of that. ESFP ( and ESTP for example) doesn’t like that. It doesn’t inspire them, it’s boring and has nothing to do with actual reality, with palpable here and now which we thrive in . Throw us in a chaotic problem, we’ll deal with it with a breeze. Put us in a long term “ what if” and we get agitated. It’s all about here and now.
So yes definitely main Se function.
You gave very salient advice and explained these really well. “Feeling” is about our values too - not just emotions. As I am maturing as an ENTJ I am starting to make more of my long term goals and plans based on my values. I appreciate romance and I deeply value my marriage, so recently we are working on a goal of buying a retirement bungalow, near a lake, in a very romantic spot. I have also learned to reach consensus more in my decision making, though that one is still hard for me. My teen daughter is INFP and I didn’t realize these parallels until you enlightened me - Thank you
Thanks for expanding (in every way).
I’m happy that your INFP daughter has a mother that is willing to explore the dynamics of her inner world AND your relationship with her.
In a nutshell it's a cycle between:
1.) Oh I got to get my ducks in a row in order to do what I want.
2.) *accomplishing things montage*
3.) Err... why am I doing this again?
4.) *internal screaming*
Back to no. 1
lol
I mean... :(
Maybe you just need to skip to 3 and go back to 1 from there... is that possible? (values elicitation work helps)
it's true i'm an intj and many times i find myself wondering if i actually want the thing i'm trying to accomplish
how do you know when you've made a good decision?
@@GeekPsychology i know it by the end (if i get results that satisfy me). And also if I feel like i must do that and only that then I know it's the right choice.
tash it just reminded me, you’re a “ finisher” type. 😊👍
I'm an ENFP or XNFP (maybe even XNXJ). My early life sounds like a NTJ according to what you are saying. I'm defenitely no a J though. I've been trying to figire out a problem that I haven't had words for. I am a religious person, but religion is supposed to define your values. I am also struggling with understanding Ne versus Fi. The Rick and Moirty thing- yes!!! That's what my life is like.
Trinity talked about this in matrix rez. She was questioning her life after so much accomplishing. I tell you this, I have the same questions. The matrix is loud and confusing.
Omg you're outside! Cute bubbles at the end :)
Edit: Ok, (intj) and i'm at it again with the definitions and boundaries... I find that 'better decisions' depend on what the outcomes are. If it's simple efficiency then there is an optimum decision and alternatives are inferior. If a 'better' decision results in someone feeling better or not being upset, or doesn't introduce change for it's own sake, then take it. I think the cost/benefit analysis is the quality sift for decisions; if it's inclusive, logical and methodical you will have an objectively better decision than if you just winged-it on a hope and a prayer.
Yeah, beautiful day!
I named it better decisions because I felt that both Te and Fi were looking for their version of what makes a decision "right". It's a difficult one, but I think that's what they're both searching for.
reson8 i just have to chime in. Your comment on “ to introduce change “ reminded me of me( ESFP) . You ( INTJ) and me (ESFP ) have Same functions in the first four slots. Albeit completely other way around but still. But we both like to stir things up in order to get out of stagnant, mainstream, boring ideas. In a very different way, of course, but still 😁. I love INTJS to bits because we actually understand each other, we can argue about same cognitive functions we have, yet we’re so different. Love INTJ/ESFP love hate relationship ( for the lack of better words).
Also thank you for this video, my daughter is INFP, I’m ESFP, and while you’d think we’re extremely different, we’re actually not. We just “get” each other on so many levels, I intuitively know where’s she coming from. And I intuitively respond to her in a way where she doesn’t feel judged, misunderstood or offended or rejected. On the other hand, she has quite a few “ I’m miffed because you did this or said that “ moments with my husband ( her father), despite the fact he should be theoretically closer to her type ( He’s INTP). Both her and me have Fi and Te in the first four slots. My husband doesn’t. ( this is just an example from real life).
Thank you for this video, it clarifies so many misconceptions and points out the importance of looking into cognitive functions.
Very interesting topic. from my own experience i think INFPs struggle a lot with bringing their ideas to existence, and i guess its due to their low Te. but i think, its also not easy to make goals and colaborate with others, cuz nowadays business isnt based on values but more on making money and make material gains, so when we try to be a part of this system, people think that our ideas are naive or impractical, and they just assume that the current system is just fine.
Aisha Aicha But we can be happy with ourselves. We’re under no obligation to convince anyone.
but business and relationships are based on the value you give. the more "valuable" interactions you have, the better your life will be imo. still workin on that formula though lol ;)
Geek Psychology so true . Sounds “ harsh” but that’s what it is speaking from practical point of view.
Aisha Aicha Business is all about making profit. You’re right there. It has always been like that and it’ll always be. What’s important is how they treat people working for them. Some conditions are fair, some atrocious, and then you have everything in between.
I don’t think many people think deep down the system is just fine. Most people see bad sides of the system. But what can you do if you’re an employee? You can decide if the company is ok-ish or not. If it is, you need to go with the flow. Corporate system isn’t interested in good for all people. It’s up to you as an individual to decide where do you fit in, and what can you do for your own beliefs as we as for the company that pays you to do the job you agreed on. Unfortunately that’s how it is.
ESFP
Thank you, Sherman! I really needed this video tonight. I am trying to grow and explore. You rock, Mister Sherman. Yes, a geeky way of saying things. :-)
You look so good in sunlight. Like there's a soft filter
God bless you in Jesus name for blessing my rl questing with your brilliant vids. Thank you so much.
Such a good video :)
^^ thanks!
How would the function dynamics play out in aux vs. tert and dom vs. inf positions if the judging functions were in conflict with each other, i.e. if the push and pull between the functions was negative in nature, causing internal conflict within the individual. And how should one begin to alleviate the tension depending on where the functions fall on the function stack.
I made some videos on Loops and Stress Relief for different types, that might help you. There's other content out there on it too.
IxTJs are likely to lock down on strong emotional decisions and use that to support their perceptions... grudges, sore spots, and convictions keep you pursuing more synthesizing of ideas and concepts for the INTJ for example.
@@GeekPsychology Thanks for the response, I'll check those videos out. Also, before I find time to watch those, I'd like to ask whether the action of systematically destroying yourself/punishing yourself in response to intense self-hatred and frustration/anger (as opposed to striving towards self development and achieving positive goals) could be linked to unhealthy dominant or tertiary Fi, an unhealthy Pi-Fi/Fi-Pi loop perhaps?
Wata I think you are putting way too much weight into this scientifically UNPROVEN theory of types and cognitive functions. Also you’re really good with the jargon and you know what you’re talking about when it comes to functions etc. What you need is to bring it down a notch, look at yourself as an individual and deal with your OWN PERSONAL problems as opposed to look for MBTI to solve it for you.
I’m sorry for being harsh here, but that’s my advice from the bottom of my heart.
ESFP
@@annsmith936 I appreciate your concern and I don't think your advice is harsh. However, you might be jumping into conclusions a tad too fast. I'm aware of the unscientific nature of personality theories (and psychology in general). The way I see it is that these theories can be used as a tool to organize your psyche and analyze how its components dynamically interact with each other within the bounds of a given theory. The theories aren't the be-all end-all of everything, but a mere tool you can use to try to understand yourself and others among other methods. My questions are driven by personal curiosity towards this particular theory in attempt to see how it would explain certain phenomena of the psyche, mine or someone else's. That and I'm still trying to discover my type. That being said, I think the points you made are important to keep in mind for anyone that has the tendency to become too attached to a theory and use it to excuse certain problematic behaviors or thought patterns. Cheers!