Extraverted Thinking Weakness [ExFP and IxFP Examples]
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- Опубліковано 2 вер 2018
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Wow. Now I know how other people (usually Se/Fe doms) feel when they're like: "I dunno... I just do it. It just comes naturally to me." or "I can't believe you didn't pick up on that." As for FP's, the good news is that TJ's would looooooove to tell you what to do.
-ENTJ
INFPs are definitely open to constructive criticism but they need to be presented as "suggestions", not "orders" xD
As long as you're not under an ENTJs fomally defined authority, you can always push back along the lines of "Thanks, I'll take it into consideration." Rather than "You're not the boss of me!"
We see potential because we admire creativity and originality, and we see all the money you could make, how a business might look like, where could it be, which people would buy it, upsells, downsells.... yeah, that's why we ENTJs can't shut up when we see your talents.
It is really a struggle. I try to do the bare minimum every day to get started on improving myself. I noticed I tend to look up to TJs for ideas on how to improve productivity. Hopefully I will get better.
Over the years I've used my Te to set up and organise community groups like an amateur dramatics society and an athletics race. So, I'd say that if a fellow INFP wants to improve their use of Te they might want to set up groups or events that speak to their values and high ideals and so strengthen their Te through practical application in the real world. Of course, they could use Te by doing something simple like publishing a photo book with family members or thinking about financial goals and setting up a simple saving and investment plan. It doesn't have to be something that affects the wider community as I've done. I think the key to success in using Te is to gather in info from the world and use what is tried and true, use what works for many others and then filter it through your own set of values and ideals. For example, with an athletics race, hundreds of people organise one nearly every weekend so reading up on the practicalities and getting advice from those that have done the same thing means you are able to construct a plan of action without having to think about every little detail. You can in effect copy and paste the strategies of other people into what you are doing to compensate for the weakness of your Te. I think a lot of INFPs make the mistake of trying to use their Te to bring out their abstract values and ideals into the world. But that doesn't work because something that's abstract doesn't come out fully formed and certainly isn't implementable in the real world without a thought out plan. So it's better to read up on things or speak to folk that have done similar things to what you plan to do and bring that information into your mind and use your intuition, values and ideals to reshape it so that when the idea of a community group, event or good cause leaves your head it will function in the real world and not collapse in on itself because you haven't thought about how to organise it. I also think that getting rid of your TV, landline and internet will help you achieve your goals in terms of writing a book etc as it removes the distractions and thus strengthens the ability of your Te to get that work of art out there and helping people. We are never going to be great with our Te but eliminating distractions, implementing tested strategies used by others and being open to the advice and support of others will help us achieve more than we think and help us live out our values and highest ideals. We are dreamers but we need to plan to turn our dreams into reality. So keep on dreaming and turn your dreams into a reality because who you are and what you do matters.
Wow thanks for this
Well put. Thanks for this.
I was the bizarre INFP manager at my job for years and years. I hated my life but I was really good at it. It was weird because I was always so powerfully driven by my TE while I was at work, but the moment I was "off" I let my Te shut down too. So lots of issues with impulsivity at home but at work I was known for being tightly controlled and focused on results. I didn't realize I was sort of exercising TE at work while then soothing it(?) at home by letting chaos reign.
The anger connection was a BIG piece of the puzzle.
Never understood where it comes from.
Thank you SO MUCH!
ISFP here.
I've literally kept all of my stuff within a suitcase in my college dorm room and am using only the bare minimum (clothes and books) that I need to survive, just so that I get the satisfaction of being "organised" simply because I don't have to deal with stuff. I dream of the day I can get a job and buy an empty apartment (with nothing but books and food) so that I can live a minimalistic, clutter free, material possession free life. (INFP)
This is why INFP is a personality type which is really hard to live with. I don't belive that all types are equal. Some are definetely more lucky. If could choose one for myself, I guess I would not choose being an INFP. Not because of I don't like it. We absolutely have some very nice characteristics. But if nobody seems to notice them and they are not so helpful when it comes to living a real life, who cares.
Inferior Te does really suck and surviving in this life as an INFP is almost impossible. After a long time of denial, I'm confessing this to myself right now. And this video is almost like proving that "you have nearly nothing to do about it...". No friends. We can't help it. I wish that I could develop it. Then the Fi gems could be really precious.
This situation generally makes me almost hate the TJs. They look so effortless in this world, doing their job. I would not like to be like them, but I just envy that life is most of the time a lot more easier for them, so they can get a chance to make fun of others who struggle about life a lot. I don't mean that I think they don't have hard times. I know that Fi is a really big trouble for them too, even if I can not really understand how does it play out. But I feel like those hard times are not like "every day". They don't have to deal with it all the time. But if you are an inferior Te user, then you HAVE TO deal with it every single day to be alive in this world. I think that this is the biggest impact on the self-esteem issues we Fi users have.
(And Sherman, if you are reading, this video was still very nice and informative. I'm just having a bad day and that Fi needed to talk it a little out. Thanks for all of your content.)
I swear, I agree- fuck the politically correct terminology, being an INFP sucks. The 20 years of my life have been a complete waste and even if I do something good, I'm rarely content and satisfied- especially since the world doesn't give a shit about INFP skill sets. However, I still think that we can either sit here and whine or actually internalise our frustration and use it to propel us towards growth. If we want to reach our true potential we need to make it happen and DEMAND absolute perfection from ourselves.
sruti chandran
Internalizing frustration and demeaning perfection from yourself is a recipe for desisted. Being able to talk through and work through your feelings, practice self-compassion with a healthy dose of discipline, in line with ones morals and view of the world is what drives INFPs to success.
The world doesnt really give a shit about Fi if you really think about it. Now before you get upset, this is coming from an ISFP here.
I sure as hell wish I was born as an ENTJ.
@@masteraxe1453 You know what's funny, many of my favorite people are INFPs, 90% of my celebrity crushes and inspirational artists are INFPs, and I have always secretly been jealous of your originality and otherworldly capacity to create beauty 😪. - ENTJ
@@NathanLorenzana I'm an ISFP too, and I also envy the IxFPs who got lucky or got over themselves and managed to get out there and succeed being themselves, although for many of them it is still such a struggle, they end up dead at 30 - 40.
We usually aren't built for the extraverted world's expectations and norms - it's forced on us, and doing "our own thing" is usually crashing into the world's rules, procedures and restraints.
Enfp: My te is so weak I feel I am being efficient but in reality I am actually using people ruthlessly as resources or opportunities and hurting them.
This is so relatable, sometimes I have to reign back my unhealthy Te and make sure I’m not using people
Thanks! I cannot thank you enough for this video as an INFP. I just turned 50 and I’m beginning to figure it all out. I’m connecting the dots like a newbie. I have a little business as a pet sitter. It is something that I love with all my heart, but I often feel myself taking things personally when I know that I shouldn’t.
You are so welcome!
And thank you for the super chat!
Well, I don’t know the specific situation, but it’s never actually “I am the problem” but rather, “the approach I took wasn’t successful”
As an INFP who is an ambivert (good social skills but leave me alone pls), this is my life in 8 minutes.
1) Anger outbursts when I feel someone is giving me unsolicited advice or pushing an agenda (obviously I seethe on the inside when I'm in a situation where I can't express my fury outwardly but at home oh gosh. I explode all of a sudden and no one can ever see it coming, though I do give fair warning like "get off my back!" Or "omg STOP!" )
I'm known for having absolute screaming matches with my INTJ brother and INTP father when they try to organise my life or give me advice that reminds me of how unorganized my life is. They think it's a mood or personality disorder but it's literally "just let me sort things out in my own time!!"
2) I've always envied people who could do math and philosophy and that kind of inductive logic very quickly. I myself love puzzles -- riddles, logic grids, sudoku, jigsaws anything that doesn't involve maths formulas and just putting things in their right place. I can often beat Ti thinkers at them but things like chess and checkers need more time and planning and I'm always defeated because I run out of energy midway. I believe this was a conscious and really intense effort on my part to develop some logical skills and they just happen to be more Te in design.
3) I have a ton of goals and ideas and ambition but no real plan. Heck even when I write a story i refuse to use an outline, I just go where the story takes me. My brother organises his life into blocks -- 2 hours for a nap, 2 hours to take a walk or go outside, 3 hours TV and internet ... if I lived like that I'd go mad but it seems to work for him. I do whatever whenever, and I'm usually doing nothing and therefore getting zero done.
For example I want to study abroad next year and I've got a million bookmarks organised by country, university, course, financial aid... I look at those folders and think phew half my job is done. Never mind that I haven't even decided what programme or what country really. The info is sitting in neat folders waiting for one of them to reveal itself to me.
This seems like a very inefficient and difficult way of living to everyone else who knows me but it's the only way I feel secure. I'd run out of energy from having to choose between a hundred choices pretty quickly.
sound like it. te, extroverts fi ideas. I think organization more on logic side. up side since your f you deal with people and be a p. with me the faster I am force to with deal with people the more si and fe say hay you give me more things than I handle we need a plan.
can you summarize it , i'm afraid to read !!
Hi thankyou so much for understanding how inferior TE feels! Although I know it can be difficult, I am so glad I am not alone on that one.
When I'm stressed I yell and want to break things. I hate stupidity too. And yes the louder my voice is the more anger im showing. In regards to the tribe I'll tell people I know about things I'm going to do it think about. And if someone tries to talk me out of something I still know what I want to do. Like I want a certain amp even if it's a hated model. It's wierd though sometimes I don't like to tell some tribe members anything I hate criticism. I also hate agendas. I'm cool with people thinking different but I hate when people force it.
Same. I hate forcing it, I like to just do my own thing.
Thank you for sharing all your insight & knowledge of the cognitive functions with us. I can't speak for everyone but I know at least for me the use of gaming analogies has definitely helped me to grasp how they functions interact more clearly & I feel like every video of yours I watch helps me grow a little bit more as a person. So truly, thank you!
Awesome explanation! I learned a lot with this video, thank you! 💜
Learning where the Anger comes from was big piece of puzzle bc It often gets me in trouble. Thanks very much.
Grateful ISFP
This is excellent.I am really appreciating you and your vids--as a 'mature' (lol, supposedly by age) E/Infp, and lord how I go back and forth on that first scale, until it's maddening, guess ambivert feels unsettling, for years here, lol. This really nails the Te challenges--which I really worked hard to develop, and they can be really amazing, to me especially when I got that going on...yet when in real crisis, and major life change, this is the first thing that can get so out of control again, or feels overwhelming. Good stuff ty
Thank you for explaining this!
As far as time and practical matters are concerned I keep telling myself bullshit:
"My existence is but a fleeting occurrence within a much larger cosmos"
"Reality is merely an illusion"
That is, until I get shitty grades and realise that I've spent hours on the internet, have done nothing in the real world and then, instead of getting my act together, I get sucked back into nihilistic thoughts and existential vacuum OR I get stuck in those fucking Fi-Si loops and think of all the mistakes I made in the past and how that means that I will never achieve anything in the future because of it OR I fantasise about becoming an ENTJ instead.
Be yourself and be happy for it. Your strengths are weaknesses for others.
Something that helped me with negative thoughts that kept me from acting is to go online to a death clock and see the days I roughly have left to live. It’s scary and made me take more action.
@@GeekPsychology oh yeah, the death clocks are so creepy, I actually used to be obsessed with them as a kid :)
The struggle is real.
I'm a TP, so the inferior Te of the FP gets me worried about him. But if he can figure out how to cope, I can cope easily enough.
I get really annoyed when people try to give advice on my personal life choices. Would this be an example of Te in an INFP?
For example when someone told me to quit the course I'm currently doing to do some random thing just because it will give me more money I got quite defensive and annoyed by being told that and refused to do anything different to what I already decided. Also with a novel I am writing, or anything creative I come up with, I hate being told advice on what to do. I don't really mind people saying they dislike it and I try to work with it, but I really need it to be my personal choice. If they give some advice I never ever actually take the advice but I try to make it so I please the other person while doing something that's 90% my choice. I am trying to work better with a lot of the personal goal achieving by making reminders everyday to do something that will eventually build to a final product. But working with others seems really scary to me, especially in something I believe so much and is authentically from my mind.
Would this be true for an INFP moreso than an ExFP? I'm asking because one person recently told me I'm actually ENFP and I didn't see it at all but I started to doubt and overthink a lot.
Melanie Civetta Means Little Owl That's what I thought too. But some vultology people kept saying I was NeFi. But I'm staring to think their whole thing is pretty flawed now.
I lead with Fi too, and everything you have said was super relatable.
One thing that immediately popped into my mind is when somebody once tried to give advice on a character's backstory I've already made up, and even though I saw where they were coming from, and found their ideas great, I got really defensive about my work. I felt like they didn't know what impression I was going for with that character, and it took a lot of alone time to re-evaluate their advice and see how it aligns with my personal preferences.
I'm not a Fi dom, not even a Te user, but I too get annoyed when people give unwanted advice. it might be my inferior Fe though, my insecurity about other people's opinions on me, especially close ones
2:37 you are totally describing Daenerys Targaryen, recently hopped on GOT and I was so certain she’s INFP, then I found out weirdly a lot of people think she’s INFJ, which I totally could not see...
I see her and NFP too
I'm really conservative with resources (including money) because I'm nervous about going too far and I want a buffer zone in case of just about anything, lol--maybe how a blind spot for Se reality? I distrust physical reality. Probably a combination of factors for me: T type household (ESTP, ISTJ, ENTJ), generalized anxiety, and possible high functioning autism. So to me it feels like I can't afford to be negligent to Te things. I do do a Te whack if I'm pushed too far, but I generally turn to a rock or a clam--don't budge and close off from the world. When I HAVE to do something practical that I don't want to do, I take a bandage approach--rip it off and expect a lot of pain. I love organizing, though I prefer the pointless kind that might be more Si comfort than applicable Te. Took me until my mid twenties to start letting out my most default inner nature--Fi and Ne. It's so weird yet liberating to stop mostly living in a stress state.
Can you make the Subtitiles for someone who can't hear ?
It's cool to see how some things work for some people and not for others. I generally take the simplest form of "what works" (replicable action) and repeat it
don't give away all my secrets.......................................................
Where can i find the content on strong te. Really need it. 😊
This vid is good to explain how gravely fragile i am. 😁 👍
Tertiary Te gives me some organization and productivity with short term things but it can also give me a brutal cruel side when left unchecked 😬 it’s like I kept the worst parts of Te. The anger outbursts are relatable too, especially the te slaps, those are vicious.. no one usually associates enfps with brutality but unhealthy te can be brutal because we can use it just enough to cause harm to others 😬 or manipulate the situation to our favor. I want more TJs in my life
I don't want any TJ in my life, they are so arrogant/ dominant / always give orders.
Once, somehow really after hearing toxic te hit back with te hell somehow estp too, the te 3rd i guess got numb( no need to be critic that time) yes, dont mess with te with entp i guess , real good entp will be saying he is ashamed if he cant
omg that hair tho
who is this cute boi
Geek psychology's nether regions
👁👄👁
I do the same thing with money lol
Te?? I'm FiNe thx (:
I've literally kept all of my stuff within a suitcase in my college dorm room and am using only the bare minimum (clothes and books) that I need to survive, just so that I get the satisfaction of being "organised" simply because I don't have to deal with stuff. I dream of the day I can get a job and buy an empty apartment (with nothing but books and food) so that I can live a minimalistic, clutter free, material possession free life. (INFP)
You seem to do well with your suitcase-method. ;)
An empty apartment with nothing but books and food.. That´s a really awesome dream!
This day will come more effortlessly than you think. Go to meet it. And you will enjoy this freedom of entering your own free space - proudly.