Dude, you NEED to see Blood Lake: Attack of the Killer Lampreys. Of all the Jaws knockoffs, this is one is actually psychotic. The Mayor, instead of being eaten, goes to take a dump and a Lampray swims up the toilet, into his ass, then out his mouth, and they play it off like a serious emotional moment. 11/10 masterpiece.
Thanks Josh! I have been seeing Shark Exorcist pop up for years now, but never had the energy to actually watch it lol. Thanks for taking that bullet lol
I don't know if any of these exist, but I have Polonia's next 7 movies. Night of the Living Shark, WereShark, The Shark's Tomb, Biker Sharks From Saturn, Sssssshark, 8 Legged Sharks, Oh Hi Shark
@@movietimelines My favorite part is when the female Shark (Lisa) starts ripping the hero's limbs off one by one & he shouts, "You're tearing me apart Lisa"
Ironically, his next three movies are Jurassic Shark 2: Aquapocalypse (just released on demand and profoundly awful), Sharkula, and Noah's Shark. Josh didn't do Polonia's 2017 opus "Landshark," which is a terrible movie, but maybe one of his most entertaining. I'm not proud to know these things.
My dad referred to me as his son, and introduced me as his son, but rarely if ever _called_ me son. Talking to other people: son. Talking to me: just Jesse, or Jess.
No, it's pretty damn odd for a modern father to call his child "son", instead of by the child's name. It was normal in the early-mid 20th century, not anymore.
Wow nice to see they used awful CGI fire to combat that awful Sharkenstine puppet. Holy awfulness this is a list of 10 movies to avoid, these make the Sharknado movies look Oscar worthy.
Holy heck, that Exorcist shark movie was filmed in Nashville. That aquarium was.... An Aquarium restaurant at the local mall. I think I have to at least watch that one now, lol
You know? I would actually watch a legit Frankenshark. A shark pieced together of the main advantages of others. Some really nice practical effects and some component film making... I think it could be a fun little horror movie.
And also, the idea of the big fish having the OG Frankenstein's brain sounds very interesting (Yes, I call them both Frankenstein, who try to correct me will have 100 centuries of bad luck), that could be used for a plot like Orca, with an intelligent creature wanting revenge on the humans for the way he was treated when he was a human, and could also be used for focusing more on the shark, since he used to be a human(a very different human, but still a human)
@@loschrodproductions4519 "He swims, He Swims!" What about some inner conflicts? A little inner conflict of giving into the anger and vengeance? or just some obvious losing sanity to the change of life? The cold darkness of the deep, the constant need for movement, the loss of interaction, or maybe some slow regression to baser instincts and that realization of it happening? Also. Frankenstein. A parent gives new life to a child and is called after a part of the family, a man gave new life to a new human being.. why not name him after a stand in for a parent? (:
Sharks = beaches = bathing suits = a magnet for weird movies. Who all seem to live next to dingy piers and/or scuzzy lake beaches where they can film for free. The main one you missed I've heard of is Jaws in Japan/Psycho Shark, which is "found footage." And absolutely dreadful-maybe worse than those Camp Bloods in terms of boredom.
You NEED to do a Horror Timelines episode on Tim Ritter's "Truth Or Dare" series - I always show people the first one, "A Critical Madness" - nobody ever seems to have heard of it, even my friends that are fellow horror movie geeks. It never fails to blow their minds haha. God that man's work is weird - Some woman must have really broke his heart, considering that basically _every single_ film of his i've seen is about a dude getting cuckolded, going crazy, then killing everybody lol.
5:34 - Sound to me like this whole movie is a load of bull shark! 10:30 - Couldn't they have shortened this to "Sharkxorcist"? 12:57 - "You're going to need a bigger cross!' I LOVE IT!!! I wonder if someone could possibly pull off a shark movie using little dwarf lantern sharks?
I love this channel man. Prob the most comments I've ever made on any one channel on YT. Gen question though - these crazy movies. Are people making money from them, or are they student projects, fan movies etc or are they genuinely attempts to get into the industry? I seriously take my hat off to anyone who's doing it though (really, I do), no matter how weird/batshit crazy the movies are. I tried to make an Evil Dead'ish type thing back in the day with a few old books from a jumble sale (maybe 'jumble sale' is a UK thing, - from the Collins dictionary ''A jumble sale is a sale of cheap second-hand goods, usually held to raise money for charity.'' (usually held in Scout Halls, schools, church halls etc). I'm sure there are equivalents everywhere), some melted candles, my Dad's old cine camera and a fuckload of 11 year old enthusiasm. Thank Gawd for these highlights/breakdowns.
Alright now hit up the Sy-Fy channel shit. Some really just amazingly shit movies there. Ghost Shark. Toxic Shark. Dinoshark. Sharktopus. Multi-Headed Shark Attack. Jersey Shore Shark Attack. Malibu Shark Attack. That's at least 10 movies.
Better not be Sand Sharks on here. I love that movie, even as bad as it is. :D *Edit* Not even half way through, and I mean... Sand Sharks is a goddamn masterpiece compared to some of these shitshows.
The dead body that comes to life on the table behind somebody's back has been done a few times. The only one I can think of right now though is the first Howling movie.
Yes, do a sci-fi version! This was fun. A drinking game is a good idea, I hope you do it again. Can't believe I was too lazy to get up and get my whiskey though, I was drinking Pepsi. I'm less drunk than Josh was!
Raiders of the Lost Shark could be a spiritual successor to Piranha II: Flying Killers. The misleading poster reminds me of the cover art that was so typical for the VHS era and that often had little or nothing to do with the actual movie.
Anyone dedicated enough to get through all of these to the extent of putting together a video brief deserves a subscribe & like. I suppose they would make good additions to maximum security prison to deter crime.
Most of the posters look like they were drawn by the same guy. I gotta say though, I'm good on shark movies from the new millennium, aside from Fred Olen Ray they very often seem like thinly veiled excuses for the filmmakers to be near women in bikinis
Recognised the DJ from The Lair series, it’s fully except 1 episode later on, on DailyMotion. I love it honestly, but it’s more a vampire porno than actual series haha, there are a lot of sex scenes. I skip the sex scenes, I don’t mind them at first, but it becomes a little too much as they just flood the series, especially later on and since their pretty much just the same thing over and over. I don’t really know why I like the series so much, just that I do lol.
I was actually thinking about giving one of the sharks a voice, so it was funny that, that actually happened later in the video pshaha. Like a demonic voice would suit, something similar to my ASMR voice memos perhaps. I also do a RP of a talking shark on Maneater PS4 game. But with a regular voice and he’s an ancient vampire shark, with issues.
I feel like I need to own these. You might think I am joking, but I am not (I already own Shark Exorcist). Your ripoff videos bring out the completionist in me in the worst possible way... Also, AWESOME shirt.
@@Lifemagic364 ah, the shirt appears to be a ripoff/spoof Jaws t-shirt, with generic blocks instead of the images from the poster. I thought it was clever to wear on a video about Jaws ripoffs...
Shark Exorcist is the only one I've seen but I have to admit... I couldn't stop watching it. It is quite awkward but today's standards and it literally make no sense at all. I almost wonder if another scene or two were shot then they were cut because I do not know what the movie was about.
@@movietimelines It's that same logic I had been kicking around since my high school film class; saving a bunch of money and hiring one of my favorite actors for a quick cameo. 😅
@@MisfortunateJustice it’s easier than you think. It gets a little pricier if you’re not in LA, since they would want you to pay for airfare and hotel and such, but if you’re in the LA area, you can get a lot of notable names for a pretty low fee.
@@movietimelines Oh man... Getting Schwarzenegger to show up for a quick bit in an amateur film would make my life. No matter how shitty the movie ends up.
At 8:24 you say that Ted Bundy has been dead for a long time. The guy in the other wanted poster was the Zodiac Killer, and he's been dead even longer than Bundy. lol
Ok gotta admit the ‘we’re gonna need a bigger cross’ line got a chuckle out of me
Yikes
The actual line in the movie is " You're gonna need a bigger boat ".
Bigfoot wrecked that shark guy. Had it coming if you ask me.
You should definitely do the sci-fi version of this video!
Lord knows I don't have the patience for these films but I do enjoy seeing the highlights!
Dude, you NEED to see Blood Lake: Attack of the Killer Lampreys. Of all the Jaws knockoffs, this is one is actually psychotic. The Mayor, instead of being eaten, goes to take a dump and a Lampray swims up the toilet, into his ass, then out his mouth, and they play it off like a serious emotional moment. 11/10 masterpiece.
For a second I was worried this was a reupload
I think the last one was made up of the good Jaws rip-offs.
nope! all new goodness! or badness, in this case.
As did I. I had to look twice.
Thanks Josh! I have been seeing Shark Exorcist pop up for years now, but never had the energy to actually watch it lol. Thanks for taking that bullet lol
Oh man that corn shark movie 😭
what a mastapeece.
The real horror of Raiders of the lost Shark is that the dude went into the water with his shoes and socks
That bothered me so much. He went through all the trouble of removing everything else!
I don't know if any of these exist, but I have Polonia's next 7 movies. Night of the Living Shark, WereShark, The Shark's Tomb, Biker Sharks From Saturn, Sssssshark, 8 Legged Sharks, Oh Hi Shark
Sssssshark is set in a library and instead of eating schools of fish - well the shark eats whole school buildings. Fin
@@elizabethguarnieri6606 I love it
oh hai shark wins.
@@movietimelines My favorite part is when the female Shark (Lisa) starts ripping the hero's limbs off one by one & he shouts, "You're tearing me apart Lisa"
Ironically, his next three movies are Jurassic Shark 2: Aquapocalypse (just released on demand and profoundly awful), Sharkula, and Noah's Shark. Josh didn't do Polonia's 2017 opus "Landshark," which is a terrible movie, but maybe one of his most entertaining.
I'm not proud to know these things.
I laughed so loud that I got told off by the wife, who's watching The Handmaids Tale. Dick shark had to see the trailer omg PMSL :-D
I kind of want to see Super Shark now. Thank you for suffering through these so we don't have to, Josh!
Going to be watching Jaws in the theater in about one hour. Awesome video leading up to the experience.
Excellent. The last is the best, sorta.
fun fact Super Shark actually aired on Syfy.
"Do dads really call their kid, son?"
Umm... yeah. It's actually extremely odd that your father never called you that.
My Dad called me by my name, rather than calling me "son".
My dad referred to me as his son, and introduced me as his son, but rarely if ever _called_ me son. Talking to other people: son. Talking to me: just Jesse, or Jess.
No, it's pretty damn odd for a modern father to call his child "son", instead of by the child's name. It was normal in the early-mid 20th century, not anymore.
Wow nice to see they used awful CGI fire to combat that awful Sharkenstine puppet.
Holy awfulness this is a list of 10 movies to avoid, these make the Sharknado movies look Oscar worthy.
No, they are all better than Sharknado
Holy heck, that Exorcist shark movie was filmed in Nashville. That aquarium was.... An Aquarium restaurant at the local mall. I think I have to at least watch that one now, lol
I knew that aquarium looked familiar!
You know? I would actually watch a legit Frankenshark. A shark pieced together of the main advantages of others. Some really nice practical effects and some component film making... I think it could be a fun little horror movie.
And also, the idea of the big fish having the OG Frankenstein's brain sounds very interesting (Yes, I call them both Frankenstein, who try to correct me will have 100 centuries of bad luck), that could be used for a plot like Orca, with an intelligent creature wanting revenge on the humans for the way he was treated when he was a human, and could also be used for focusing more on the shark, since he used to be a human(a very different human, but still a human)
@@loschrodproductions4519 "He swims, He Swims!" What about some inner conflicts? A little inner conflict of giving into the anger and vengeance? or just some obvious losing sanity to the change of life? The cold darkness of the deep, the constant need for movement, the loss of interaction, or maybe some slow regression to baser instincts and that realization of it happening?
Also. Frankenstein. A parent gives new life to a child and is called after a part of the family, a man gave new life to a new human being.. why not name him after a stand in for a parent? (:
@@cistric317 That's why a Frankenstein Shark is a nice concept
Agree, if his creator is Frankenstein, so does him
Santa Jaws (2018),Post Apocalyptic Commando Shark(2018).
Could have sworn Supershark was on SyFy.
You can now sit right up next to RLM - Brave of you to have watched Shark Exorcist. *Edit: No "Bad CGI Shark" ?
Amazing list. I've got some movies to watch now. I hope someday giant snake movies can get the same treatment
Sharks = beaches = bathing suits = a magnet for weird movies. Who all seem to live next to dingy piers and/or scuzzy lake beaches where they can film for free. The main one you missed I've heard of is Jaws in Japan/Psycho Shark, which is "found footage." And absolutely dreadful-maybe worse than those Camp Bloods in terms of boredom.
Why did they have to hand draw a Ouija board? You can literally find them anywhere. And some places they are really inexpensive.
So, I watched Dick Shark and now I have to go sanitize myself. I’m equally amazed and confused as to why that film even exists.
10 Insane, Terrible Jaws Ripoffs that even syfy wont even air.. i feel like that's a backhand compliment yes ?
You NEED to do a Horror Timelines episode on Tim Ritter's "Truth Or Dare" series - I always show people the first one, "A Critical Madness" - nobody ever seems to have heard of it, even my friends that are fellow horror movie geeks. It never fails to blow their minds haha. God that man's work is weird - Some woman must have really broke his heart, considering that basically _every single_ film of his i've seen is about a dude getting cuckolded, going crazy, then killing everybody lol.
a Truth or Dare timeline is definitely on the agenda at some point. i've only seen the first 2!
5:34 - Sound to me like this whole movie is a load of bull shark!
10:30 - Couldn't they have shortened this to "Sharkxorcist"?
12:57 - "You're going to need a bigger cross!' I LOVE IT!!!
I wonder if someone could possibly pull off a shark movie using little dwarf lantern sharks?
Wasn't supershark a movie from syfy at one point?
They did air it
Thank you for your service. Your sacrifice was great, but so was my laughter.
Angrily shouting "Where's the rest of you?!" at a dismembered hand is the funniest fucking thing I've ever seen
I love these. Also are you trying to get us drunk cause it’s not happening with this game.
oh boy more jaws rip offs thanks for more movies for me to check out
I love this channel man. Prob the most comments I've ever made on any one channel on YT. Gen question though - these crazy movies. Are people making money from them, or are they student projects, fan movies etc or are they genuinely attempts to get into the industry? I seriously take my hat off to anyone who's doing it though (really, I do), no matter how weird/batshit crazy the movies are. I tried to make an Evil Dead'ish type thing back in the day with a few old books from a jumble sale (maybe 'jumble sale' is a UK thing, - from the Collins dictionary ''A jumble sale is a sale of cheap second-hand goods, usually held to raise money for charity.'' (usually held in Scout Halls, schools, church halls etc). I'm sure there are equivalents everywhere), some melted candles, my Dad's old cine camera and a fuckload of 11 year old enthusiasm. Thank Gawd for these highlights/breakdowns.
I think super shark came out on syfi
I wish I could like this video more than once.
Polonia should collaborate with Breen! Faithful Shark Findings!
How did you not include Cruel Jaws??? X^D
cruel jaws is on my other jaws ripoff list : jaws ripoffs with sharks.
If Breen and Polonia collaborated on a movie, my head would explode. But with really cheap practical effects.
oh my gawd i can't wait to reference "this ...isn't...MY HAND!" in the future to my movie friends
Have you seen VelociPastor?
absolutely. enjoyed it. it’s what i point to when I’m talking about “movies intending to be bad but actually done well enough that it becomes good.”
Alright now hit up the Sy-Fy channel shit. Some really just amazingly shit movies there. Ghost Shark. Toxic Shark. Dinoshark. Sharktopus. Multi-Headed Shark Attack. Jersey Shore Shark Attack. Malibu Shark Attack. That's at least 10 movies.
Bro. You missed Trailer Park Shark.
House Shark was terrible, but the characters and the costume somehow worked.
I'm not playing your drinking game. I'm playing the drink game every time you say youre confused. I'm already half way through the bottle.
Better not be Sand Sharks on here. I love that movie, even as bad as it is. :D
*Edit* Not even half way through, and I mean... Sand Sharks is a goddamn masterpiece compared to some of these shitshows.
2:07
"people seem to be VERY intelligent."
"WHERE'S THE REST OF YOU?!?!?"
Ghost Shark 2 was not made for syfy, and was in fact in production before the syfy movie.
I saw Shark Encounters Of The Third Kind on FREEVEE and I laughed throughout the whole movie! 😆😅😂
The dead body that comes to life on the table behind somebody's back has been done a few times.
The only one I can think of right now though is the first Howling movie.
You should do a list of shitest shark sifi movies
I really, really need to see that
Sharks of the Corn is either a student film or an SCP
I love shark movies...
drink every time there's a bad shark pun
"I've started to like Mark Polonia's films" Josh, you have Stockholm Syndromed yourself.
Yes, do a sci-fi version!
This was fun. A drinking game is a good idea, I hope you do it again. Can't believe I was too lazy to get up and get my whiskey though, I was drinking Pepsi. I'm less drunk than Josh was!
lol. i was also only drinking pepsi, so we were equally drunk!
@@movietimelines Really? lol I was convinced it was red wine in the glass! That's some Movie (Timelines) magic right there!
lol. i actually don’t drink, so anytime you see me with alcohol or drugs, they’re fake.
@@movietimelines Yay! I like you even more now! You're a sharp fellow, it'd not Movie Timelines wouldn't be the same if that sharpness was blunted 😀
First problem: the first poster for Raiders of the Lost Shark didn't show a biplane anywhere. That was a monoplane with pontoons for water landings.
Raiders of the Lost Shark could be a spiritual successor to Piranha II: Flying Killers. The misleading poster reminds me of the cover art that was so typical for the VHS era and that often had little or nothing to do with the actual movie.
Great vid!
Could you please lmk where you got that amazing tee?! Please?
You deserve an award for actually watching these movies.
The mockbuster industry must be having a great time banging the sharks and spewing out awful sharks
Once I saw a shark sneeze.
and now you gotta do a Syfy shark film video
Anyone dedicated enough to get through all of these to the extent of putting together a video brief deserves a subscribe & like. I suppose they would make good additions to maximum security prison to deter crime.
You should cover Demon Wind, I think there is only one movie though
Oh boy shark exorcist I hate it along with house shark
You also see The Zodiac wanted sign across from Ted Bundy's.
Bad shark movies are mostly an excuse to put women into swimsuits.
And I am not complaining.
we used to have one of those avocado green rotary phones ... because I'm old
That T-shirt is amazing. Where’d you get it?
I’m so mad at you for the Dick Shark tease. Not cool. Hoping there will be a sequel one day titled Deep Blue Sea Balls.
What kind of name is “House Shark” ?? 😂😂😂😂😂😂
It's a movie about a shark in a house.
I absolutely hate shark exorcist. Like really really really hate it.
Speaking of sharks how about the movie timeline about Sharknado movies. 😆
Those girls in Shark Exorcist have cartoonish overbites
I cant even think of 5 shark movies or 5 beach movies lol.
all you had to say is "mark polonia".... done!
Dick Shark would have been the only review I would have been down with 🥺
You know the scifi channel doesn't make look better than all of the jaws ripoff
Everyone of these movie titles made me laugh a little. 😂
Thanks!
Are these official releases or amateur UA-cam videos?
I have a problem I want several of these movies
Most of the posters look like they were drawn by the same guy. I gotta say though, I'm good on shark movies from the new millennium, aside from Fred Olen Ray they very often seem like thinly veiled excuses for the filmmakers to be near women in bikinis
Recognised the DJ from The Lair series, it’s fully except 1 episode later on, on DailyMotion. I love it honestly, but it’s more a vampire porno than actual series haha, there are a lot of sex scenes. I skip the sex scenes, I don’t mind them at first, but it becomes a little too much as they just flood the series, especially later on and since their pretty much just the same thing over and over.
I don’t really know why I like the series so much, just that I do lol.
I was actually thinking about giving one of the sharks a voice, so it was funny that, that actually happened later in the video pshaha. Like a demonic voice would suit, something similar to my ASMR voice memos perhaps. I also do a RP of a talking shark on Maneater PS4 game. But with a regular voice and he’s an ancient vampire shark, with issues.
this isnt my hand not going to lie made me chuckle
Thought he was gonna say “September 13th, 1996”
I Don’t drink , but I have a coke ?
absolutely. behind the scenes fact : i don't drink either and it's diet cola in that glass.
@@movietimelines ah, a man of culture I see
I feel like I need to own these. You might think I am joking, but I am not (I already own Shark Exorcist). Your ripoff videos bring out the completionist in me in the worst possible way...
Also, AWESOME shirt.
I dont get the shirt.
@@Lifemagic364 ah, the shirt appears to be a ripoff/spoof Jaws t-shirt, with generic blocks instead of the images from the poster. I thought it was clever to wear on a video about Jaws ripoffs...
4th! On the fourth.
Baby Shark do do dodo
Those shark effects in Shark Encounters Of The Third Kind are not good!
I can't make a movie as bad as #10
I aint afraid of no House Shark. The real threat is all the Field Sharks.
The fact that something called Dickshark even exists is both beautiful and horrifying. *Googles*
Did that m-f'er in the first movie really run into water wearing socks? He's a bigger monster than the shark!
I've seen Ouija Shark. I regret nothing.
Shark Exorcist could have been a unique film. A demonic shark could have been interesting but of course it's garbage.
By the way...I felt violated after this compilation...and I'm sure there's a ton of these movies you haven't mentioned;-)
Shark Exorcist is the only one I've seen but I have to admit... I couldn't stop watching it. It is quite awkward but today's standards and it literally make no sense at all. I almost wonder if another scene or two were shot then they were cut because I do not know what the movie was about.
How in the hell does one get Jonathan Schneider for a shitty shark movie?! 🤣
the right amount of money for a quick one or two day shoot!
@@movietimelines It's that same logic I had been kicking around since my high school film class; saving a bunch of money and hiring one of my favorite actors for a quick cameo. 😅
@@MisfortunateJustice it’s easier than you think. It gets a little pricier if you’re not in LA, since they would want you to pay for airfare and hotel and such, but if you’re in the LA area, you can get a lot of notable names for a pretty low fee.
@@movietimelines Oh man... Getting Schwarzenegger to show up for a quick bit in an amateur film would make my life. No matter how shitty the movie ends up.
At 8:24 you say that Ted Bundy has been dead for a long time. The guy in the other wanted poster was the Zodiac Killer, and he's been dead even longer than Bundy. lol
You need to adjust you audio levels here. Sometimes it is quiet, and then speaker breaking loud.