Enslaved to what I'm not trying to say your wrong but what I think when I see that don't we become controlled and enslaved to not acting on our impulses we control ourselves all the time I just want you to explain that more.
@@genesis8973 we are servants to our habits. You create a good or bad master. So you can either be a slave to your addictions or a servant to your self-discipline.
For every guy like him there are 10.000x more who never felt the touch of a women but still live daily slave to chemicals that make you horny and when any of them get a chance like this dude had .... it is wierd not to abuse it in a way .
*Lust* is pretty dangerous it does a great job of masquerading & giving you the same high as *Love* but, it's nowhere close to it. I've seen men & women risk their whole brand/job/family over it & as quickly as it comes is as quickly as it burns out.
Yup, agreed. Lust also obscures your moral compass if you allow it. If people are honest with themselves they acknowledge their own lustful thoughts and many of them we are ashamed of when our hormones have calmed. For many they let their lust carry them across the line to committing acts that sear their consciences. At first they are ashamed, then they become arrogant and prideful and justify their misdeeds and even gloat over them because thats where we are as a society
As someone who’s struggled with several addictions especially sex and porn addiction, you become numb far more than you think you ever could. It starts to blur the lines between what’s normal and what starts to be inappropriate and honestly almost creepy because you start to fall down rabbit holes for what’s sexually desirable. Lost sense in self and there’s a wake up call at some point and you hope you aren’t too far gone in it when it happens. Never thought it would be so difficult until I fell farther into it. It’s no joke and I hope anyone close to it can come out of it.
It’s not scary at all... it’s science. Stop shaming yourself for having a high libido and wanting to have a variety of partners. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you.
@@biglou80 even beeing hungry and liking junk food is natural, but becoming obese and addicted to food is not normal. Most people addicted to sex or anything else are trying to fill a void
This just shows how important self-control is. Also, it takes a big man to self reflect and admit his faults. Shoutout to Chris for being honest and trying to improve himself.
@@Threelegs94 Morality and the end goal. What is it you want when its all said and done. He was in a position where he had some sort of power and was able to use it to indulge in something he enjoyed. The problem began when he indulge in it too much. It was taking away from what he wanted all along. So no, he wasn't wrong for doing what he was doing, rather doing something that was just a temporary thing, that got way out of control. That's essentially whats happening here.
I really do feel empathy for people who struggle with self control. We live in a society that encourages indulging in everything as many times as possible. It's hindering many.
@@evanjuleen I'm not defending a predator if that's what you're thinking. I'm stating my opinion on people in general who struggle with self-control. I never mentioned that man's name in my comment.
Its just that a lot of ppl see discipline as "the objectively right thing to do" when the thought behind it should be "not the most enjoyable, but long term best choice for my own happiness"
I'd go a step further and say discipline has very little to do with my own personal "happiness" and more to do with my own stability and ability to offer up what I can for myself/friends/family/community. Without discipline it's too easy to get distracted and pursue things that are completely self serving and unproductive. In this way a lack of discipline can actually make you feel happier, but it's a shallow pursuit and the whole world is left worse off for my own selfish interests because everyone is losing what I could otherwise be contributing. That's my take on discipline at least, and I relate it to drug addiction in my personal life because that's been the biggest area I struggle with discipline! But to reiterate I think discipline has more to do with strengthening society as a whole than it does with personal satisfaction... Though they're obviously joy in freeing yourself from undisciplined dependence.
As men we aren't really taught to value ourselves when it comes to sex. We're raised with the "You're the man if you can get all the women in bed" mentality. You shouldn't be accessible to just any hot woman who throws herself at you. Know your worth. Also, think about what life experiences made the woman become so easy, and show empathy by making the right choice for her and saying no thank you. (Sure, some women prefer the fast no strings attached life, but I ain't talking about them) It's not easy to decline the offers at first, I know. Lol. It took me years to turn down an easy good time. But the feeling of having the power again and not being controlled by sexual urges is amazing. You're able to have a healthy, committed relationship with one woman and you'll thank yourself for evolving. Lose the addiction, cause addictions obviously increase the chances of you doing something out of character to get that fix. Be careful brothas💯‼
Us men were never really taught to respect our bodies growing up. I wish this was something I've learned growing up. Sucks that society shames men for not wanting or being interested in sex.
@@Kuukuukaachoo indeed. Which is why we have to become the leaders in our own lives, go our own way, and teach our children the lessons we've learned so they have a head start. It's one of one my favorite things about fatherhood. My 11 year old son just sits there respectfully, absorbing info while I teach him the game.
Speaking from my experience I have to talk to 5-10 women just to find one to have sex with. Another 5-10 women because the first out of the 10 doesn't want a relationship and now I'm cheating, because the first one isn't giving up the vagina and I can't assume I'm gone just get it so I need to keep a spare. Another 10 chicks I'm talking to, because the first is falling through. I swear if I could find just one solid chick. I wouldn't be like this, but I don't see myself slowing down. I plan to go on a roll again soon. I been working on finance, but when that's over. I'll be talking to 50 women day, because what else do I know? I don't see anything wrong with what he did except the part it's hurting him, because he has too many eyes on him and he lives off his reputation.
@Hey Max the more examples of a self respecting man that we put out there, the easier it'll be for those kids to find the right path if they choose to seek. The answers are out there. No one should just blindly follow anything without thoroughly researching it themselves. Always ask why! "Why should I be this way?" So you can understand what the benefits are. And not short term, that's what screws us over. Long term is where the substance is. This is just my way of thinking, we all have to find what's best for us as individuals.
I'm not promiscous at all cuz I quickly realised that hookups ain't my thing, I only enjoy sex if I have feelings for the person. But I'm not sure what this "you pay the prize" that Aba talks about. The only time I think this could become a problem is if dudes or girls sleep with so many people that they have established a reputation around town, that's how you know it's gotta be alot of people. If people can be like "hey I slept with X last weekend" and then other people in a group of friends be like "Wait I've heard about X cuz my friend slept with him awhile ago and he" or "I've slept with him too" then you know it's bad. If you have a hookup a few times a year a whole town won't know you by the tip of the tongue you know unless it's the smallest town ever. There was this playa in my class that had screwed already 2 girls in my class and then he went after me. I think he's probably one that could garner a bad rep after a while. Especially if he wants a serious relationship he might get refused that because people know he's a douche already. But he's never gonna get refused pussy because girls pretty much stumbled over him to get his D it was just ridiculous to watch. Except he got refused by me and I think his brain went ERROR ERROR CANT COMPUTE "REJECTION" cuz it had never happened to him before, I could tell. Even tho this happened 10 years ago it's still so weird to me so he's the first example I think of.
His apology was great. He hasn't excused himself, took extreme ownership of the situation and he's working on himself. He explained he realised this power-dynamic thing that many people don't know or understand... I think that's really important to be understood too.
Here's the thing about the "power dynamic" conversation. Really...where the fuck is the line? What's the "procedure" as a famous/rich person for initiating casual sex? Look, obviously people can use their power to manipulate the situation and take advantage of others. Duh. But are we gonna pretend that celebs don't get people tossing themselves at them all the fucking time? Really? Are we gonna pretend groupies don't still exist? If a person wants to fuck and makes it known...why is it bad to fuck (if they're of age and consented, obviously)? Can celebs only fuck people of equal societal standing because of "power dynamics?" LIke, wtf are the rules here? People spout this "power dynamic" shit and don't ever expand on the concept.
Nah, that "power-dynamic" bs is just an excuse used by self-infantilized adults to shift blame and responsibility. What's the difference between someone using their fame to get laid and someone who uses their good-looks? What about intelligence or charm? Charisma? Money? What if a 145 IQ person seduces a 95 IQ person? The dating game is an inherently imbalanced playing field, and EVERYBODY uses whatever advantage they have to get ahead. Chris D'Elia had no real power over any of those women. Was he their boss? Did he have legal or financial authority over them? No. All those adult women threw themselves at him willingly, just because he was a celebrity. But for some reason he's the one supposed to feel shame. IMO the only people that should feel any shame are the ADULT women degrading themselves for nothing and then pretending they have no agency, just to run from personal responsibility. I don't support promiscuity, but neither do I support labeling promiscuous people as inherent victimizers.
The power dynamic is real and can be as subtle as positions of perceived authority whether you like it or not. Looks, money, corporate position, status, material possessions etc. all have the potential to strike a superior vs inferior state in people. Fact is, when you're a guy whom women won't even bat an eylid at and you don't have healthy conversations about socialising and figuring out what works THEN how to be respectful to yourself and others, but you get catapulted into the spotlight - literally - on stage... If you have unspoken "issues" when it comes to women (or whoever you're sexually attracted to) and they are now very much open to your perceived status (of power) if it's not been discussed, warnings explained etc. This will happen. And it sucks. When I worked as a movement facilitator at festivals we literally had a team briefing every day and one of the sections was exactly this topic. As we are the "leader" in the space, some people will fall under a "follower" disposition and will be vulnerable, we were taught to see and manage this without making the situation awkward for anyone. It's a thing dude.
Agreed. I feel like his apology should be the standard for those who are “canceled”. He acknowledged and seemed to be genuine about what he learned from it and how he’s changing his behavior and to me, that should be the goal of cancel culture. Note I say this as someone who does not engage in the toxic elements of cancel culture such as actively trying to get someone fired but rather opts out of watching someone for myself.
A lot of men won’t talk about it but having a bunch of sexual partners is emotionally draining. Idk about others but when I have sex with someone, there’s always a little emotional exchange there.
Thats how sex was built it was meant to consolidate what was emotionally already there + produce a child. Thats why its love making. Love is emotional people who devalue sex run they're lying to you that emotional exchange snowballs and can ruin your future with the one.
Sex is literally the only time when 2 human beings become ONE. So when I hear people saying it's '' just sex, if you like him/her then go f@#% each other '' I cringe and walk away from such individuals. Most of them aren't really ok in their heads anyway after racking up bodies
@@arunkeshavadas7171 Women aren’t deliberately trying to be extremely selective. A lot of it comes down to societal pressure and biology. Women are wired to be selective because for most of human history, pregnancy has been a life threatening condition. A woman isn’t going to throw her life away to have sex with a man with less than average genes. If she’s going to die during pregnancy, she would subconsciously want the man with stronger genes so the baby has a higher chance of survival.
I've never been promiscuous, but I've seen what it does to people around me and I made a choice to not be like them. I haven't regretted it. I want moments like that to be special with someone I love, not a "fix" with someone I don't even know.
@@bullseye6969 and I understand this completely. But if I decide to conduct myself in the same manner, I am no different. Truthfully, I'd rather a girl be straight forward and tell me that she desires other men. Then we can go out separate ways. Why cheat and risk conflict when you can simply remove yourself from the relationship and have all of the fun desired?
@Paul Buskie I'm just talking from my perspective. From what I've seen, it hurts people more than help. It's my choice to learn from their mistakes and not repeat their actions. I'm not keeping anyone from doing anything, I'm just saying what caused me to make this choice.
Ex-husband cheated on me while I was pregnant. I was sick, throwing up 3x a day everytime I ate, and nauseas all day for 5 months straight. So because I couldn't do anything sexually he tried to get it somewhere else. Sigh....sexual self control is important. Because he lacked that control it tore our marriage apart. I'm the type of person that can't sleep around just for the sake of pleasing myself. My emotions are attached to the act of sex. So I'd rather be sexual in the protection of marriage.
Yeah he's talented. As a man who knows the struggle of managing sex and how it literally has controlled my life at one point, he sounds sincere. It's fun but it's exhausting . One of my best friends got married because he was tired of having to keep all together, like the anxiety of saying the wrong name. He was happy to be able to focus on one woman. But it's hormonal. I ask women all the time how irritational are you during your your cycle or even pregnancy? I have done so many irrational things when those hormones kick in. To only regret it, not the minute but the second it's over. I know older men who are still dealing with it. And literally no one teaches you how to deal with it. It's so many people addicted to porn and it's multibillion dollar business. Every man I know has struggled with this to some degree. Mahershala Ali said he had a to struggle with it to focus on his craft. It's crazy the amount of people who deal with this.
I had a friend who's dad told him to go and be promiscuous and sleep with many woman cause hed a "young man" and he should cause he wont have time for it later I told him that thats not the most responsible thing and I just hope he sees was up now. Dont teach your kids to be sexual deviants they might be confused in a real relationship
It's ridiculous. I also had a friend's father tell him that. To this day he still has no respect for women. And it's so sad because he truly could have been a wonderful person.
Not a celebrity but I needed this, you can sleep with 1,000,000 people, you can sleep with 1,000,000 of the most beautiful and amazing people in the world but the hole will never be filled.
Just remember these guys can be wrong just like us. Just don’t take their advice as word of god all the time. Ik u don’t, just something to keep in mind
This is why I say it is absolutely possible for us men to go through a Ho phase. And this is the reason why I avoid sleeping around. In addition to emotional unsatisfaction. There is a risk of STDs, there's a risk of false accusations. There's the risk of creating a family with someone u don't want to create a family with. Value ur seed, gents.
@@GArmand715 and its not even the looks that i hold to a high standard. She can be average in looks in every way but if she has a great personality and amazing charisma then she becomes a dime. If a hot chick want you, lay off in the cut and observe her personality before giving her any chance what so ever
Aba looks like he’s trying to hide a terrible haircut. Preach without his beard makes me uncomfortable. That floor is one nae nae away from collapsing into a sink hole. But i agree with everything that was said. Great video.
As a recovering sex addict, i can definitely relate to what he is going through. It was never about attraction or relationship or anything meaningful. It's only about a feeling that you like and finding a warm body to bring about that feeling. And then repeating that process as many times and as often as possible. It's a hard road ahead, but it's so worth it. I, personally, am a completely different person, and he probably is, too. There's a saying, "Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom." When you are honest with yourself and those in your life, you really see everything for what it really is. Once you start seeing things for what they really are, the knowledge that you pontificate is real.
After I had an experience that wasn't consensual I guess I just went off the rails. Trying to take my power back I was just sleeping around sometimes two different guys in one day. It's very easy to warp it and make it seem like I'm being this "strong woman in control of her sexuality". Intention is everything. We all just want to be loved and sex is just the quick and easy fix. Now even today with someone I love it's hard for me to be fully open after all that I went through. Obviously you do you, but I think the casual sex thing is just a response to us not really knowing how to love.
@@THEREAL_GZUS yeah I definitely can't say blanketly it's the whole truth for everyone. But from the many men I've been with they've all been heartbroken and use hooking up as a way to protect themselves. And now it's just become apart of the normal culture with apps like tinder. Eventually people just break down and see it's not what they really want.
To the weak minded. I'm having these "tingles" since i never had a GF, and just 3x with one girl, who left for other guys. The man in the video had more than one before doing this crap, so he'd be able to hold back easier than i would, if our minds were on the same level. These "tingles" i feel everyday, yet i don't go around smashing like that, even not with pr0st*tutes, which would be legal, with consent and i wouldn't cheat on anyone, as i have no one. I go to some "hub" a lot, but that's just a solo thing. If i'd have a GF now, i'd never do what this man did, even if 2 hotter-than-my-GF women would be sitting close to me to make me open up to them, i'd warn them to not try, and would push them away if they wouldn't listen. My lust doesn't do dumb or even bad things, so it's just about what weaker minded people would do to fight back. Therapy is a good start for them.
@@Kurachi84 say that when you have the power to sleep with any woman you want. Now because you don’t have much you feel that way , but you can’t say for sure you would do that if you’ve never been in that situation. A lot of things get said when your lonely.
@@pharaohavalon8566 It still is a mental thing, and i don't like blaming it on lust alone, as each individual should take responsibility for their own actions. As someone who never had much, i'm pretty much HOT for what i had to miss all those years, i'd be friggin explosive for a GF and/or some good bedroom fun. I should be the one not being able to hold myself back, not someone who had plenty already. What does that last bit mean "a lot of things get said when your lonely"? I don't listen too much to online stories, i have my views through biology, and use logic to get more. Think about it, it'd be way more likely that an almost s*xlifeless person would be jumping into female beds than someone who has them laying down on bed for them, as they know the whole experience by the age of that man. A hungry man is way more excited for his food than someone who has an unlimited supply, no? Not to mention i have a more active bunch of hormones due to my father, as he was very active in his younger years, too. And i grew up with his stories of his adventures, of times where smashing like that was easier than when i was born, those times differ a sh**load. Yet i keep living by logic, meaning i don't make rash choices. If i were weaker, you'd probably see me on the media for touching kids and/or women, without consent.
@@Kurachi84 you talk as if you're better than someone. Everyone has demons in their closet. If you don't yet you will it just a part of life. We you get caught up in yourself you fall for stuff like this.
There is a cost for being promiscuous, the cost is different for everyone, for me is that I'm very know for being promiscuous, when I finally decided to settle down with my current girlfriend which I have a beautiful daughter the cost of my past resulted very challenging because there is a trust issue in her that there is a possibility that I have other woman or women, is being really hard to convince her that I don't want to throw away what I have right now.
I'm kinda on the other side of the spectrum... I'm a 29 year old woman and i'm 6 years single, all the dates that i had end up doubting if im telling the truth or not because is not usual to hear someone being single for so long by choice at my age. There's always the suspition that i might be hooking up a lot, that i'm lying... I chose to not engage in sex for awhile now too and the surprises a lot of guys since we live in this very sexually active culture. I just had a bunch of trauma and mental health issues and cutting volatile relationships helped my personal progress without bringing stress into others lives. Is hard sometimes but being single taught me a lot about my discipline and strengh.
So Baz, you mean to tell us your chick, fully aware of your past, still willingly entered into your relationship and now you have to pay for your past with her being distrustful? Sorry man, your woman is a jealous woman regardless of your past. Some people are just jealous, period.
Whatever... Your girlfriend is no angel... She has cheated on previous boyfriend's and will cheat on you. She will rationalize it to protect her moral-self, but she will cheat.
Bro for me its the memories, they are killing me, its not easy being married i give GOD thanks for helping me not to step out but daily its a mad fight.
Ya it convenient for me to keep my 2 jobs ive had for 5 years But at some point i should try and look for better Convenince is easy but not necessarily goopd all the time
I wish more conversations like this were happening on all media platforms. Real men (or women) who are well-spoken and honest discussing the value of taking accountability, of being respectful towards others because you have respect for yourself and are willing to be self-reflective thru a real world point of view. These are the role models that should be celebrated.
I see people all around me every day having one night stands, having that next fix of flesh, and I always wonder to what end? This man said it perfectly and it's painful. For someone like myself, understanding that sex really isn't magical or anything awe inspiring, yet still holding it close as something truly intimate as it once was... idk, it is hard in a world of swiping for sex. I never thought I would see a day where sex only costed a pretty face and an app with a few buttons, with perhaps a meal wedged in. Never thought I would see it and yet I am also not surprised. 29 years of life with the mentality of some things that you can share with another person should be cherished or reserved... in a world where that is quickly being left behind. In the world of vast choice, there is nothing to choose from.
I don't see why any of that matters. You live your life the way you choose, he lives his life the way he chooses. The problem is that he is being demonized because of his choices. Even if he's damaging himself and his partners emotionally, again, it's his life. He's not doing anything illegal and nobody should care about his sex life.
I can relate to that, as i fell in the same trap. I'm 37, and have had one real relationship for 6 months when i was around 29. One night stands and friends with benefits was the way i did it. Partying and going out a lot, combined with a smooth talking mouth and fitness body, made me seem like a great guy on the surface. What made me wake up is the fact that i have 4 sisters, and it suddenly hit me that if someone acted the way towards them as i have acted towards most women i would have gotten angry/dissapointed with them. So now my number 1 rule with women, is that i treat them the way i would expect other men to treat my sisters. Really made wake up to what i actually did to all the women I've been with
That's awesome and thank you for having the vulnerability to share. I always wondered how men could treat women this way and demean them thinking how about if other men treated your sister or daughter that way!? Glad you found this awareness and breakthrough.
Thats great to take responsibility with your actions and what you truly want now. But the women (provided it was consensual and you were honest) were part of this too. Did you really do something to them or did both of you allow an experience? Just curious because I know most of us women are ready to drop the victim role and men the perpetrators.
@@lindsaypeek63 Just to clarify. It was all consensual, meaning no foul play in that way. But I would say that I was a bit misleading, about my intentions, and therefore made a lot of girls/women sad. So I pretended to have intentions I didn’t. Maybe a bit subconsciously, but still. As I said in my original post, I wouldn’t be happy if other guys where to act that way with my sisters. Or any other women to be fair. Not just my sisters.
After going through a traumatic experience last year I went from being a virgin to sleeping with 3 people in less than 6 months. I felt lost alone and i thought sex was going to be the thing that would make me feel good (and secure a "partner") and then the vicious circle of feeling like shit because i grew up thinking that my value as a woman is based on how much my body has been used. I literally just opened my eyes on how much i have been hating myself and running away from my feelings and how i am destroying myself and this video just helped me a lot!!! promiscuity for men and women is different and even though i think it is more traumatic for women i appreciate knowing that it can also harm the other side. Makes me feel less "dirty" somehow. It is definitely no more sex for me until i find a person i see me spending my life with. It is important to remember not only the mental but physical risks you put yourself through when you have sex with a lot of people. At the end of the day we have evolved to become more than reproductive systems ! your body is awesome, protect it !
I watched his apology video with my girlfriend who thought he was a complete scumbag after the whole thing and even she said she started feeling bad for him. When I saw that video I saw someone with major flaws who genuinely feels remorse for how they handled things. I completely accept his apology and hope he moves forward with his career because I miss his comedy.
I saw his apology yesterday and initially didn't know what to think. As far as apologies go, this isn't bad, but the problem for me is that he's someone a lot of people, including myself, looked up to. When you have that level of notoriety, you set an example whether you want it or not. The example he was setting for other men and younger men wasn't good at all and he let us down. This toxic behaviour has to stop and people who are in the public eye have to respect those who put them there. I also miss his comedy and I hope he gets help, but for me this whole thing was extremely disheartening.
I find it strange that you say you accept his apology as though he did something to you. The only people he needs to apologise to is any of the women who he had bad interactions with. Other than that it was consensual sex between adults and he's the one who's decided he's a sex addict and it's a problem.
Becoming famous is like giving a kid the keys to the candy store. He's surrounded by temptation and weakness and it's extremely difficult to not partake. But eventually, the kid will eat himself sick.
Not only that, but like with all things, the more you do it, the less interesting and special it gets. There’s a balance of indulgence and moderation, a push and pull, that we have to master, and a lot of it takes self-discipline and delayed gratification. The hardest part is noticing and being self-aware about how our brains grow increasingly complacent and bored with repetition, and likewise, that we’re also very uncomfortable and scared in new situations. We hate change, but we need novelty. We grow bored, but we crave nostalgia. No matter what it is, if you don’t recognize that there needs to be moderation in any activity, hobby, or love, you’re going to make it harder on yourself. It’s the curse of the human brain
I’m convinced the only reason men get famous at all is to have more access to underage girls. You’d be surprised how many groupies from the 70s and 80s were underage.
@@TatiSaysSo I think the reason men get famous is to get any women they want. Famous rich and powerful men usually gets any pussy they want, anytime they want, from anywhere they want.
The pain in his voice as he begins to to tumble over his words is so palpable. He speaks about it like he had a near death experience. Great and important video.
Cause he nearly did. He's a step away from disappearing forever. And honestly I thought he has. Meanwhile these girls just have this accomplishment of having slept with a celeb.
It is really nice to see y'all having this conversation now, after having seen your video commentary on Girl Defined encouraging young women to not masturbate. I remember you guys scoffing at them for that message, but the reality a lot of people who scoff at religion don't understand is that sexual discipline starts even there (as in not masturbating). I'm no saint or anything like that but over the years I have come to realize that even something seemingly harmless as masturbation plants seeds and teaches you over time to be a slave to your sexual desires (and to be selfish about it), and that attitude, unfortunately, feeds into relationships. Religious people who teach these values don't refer to it as sin to shame anyone. It's just that the consequences of training yourself in that way can be detrimental for future relationships. Religious leaders being bad examples and the fact that no one really teaches you these things or how to manage sexual desires is a separate issue that needs to be examined though. I will admit that.
Promiscuity is made to be a golden compass that every man needs to get, but the reality is that having that compass only leads you in a downward spiral and bad direction towards self-destruction. Being someone who's been through what Aba is talking about, I hit an ultimate low and never wanted to feel like that again. From the ages of 19-24 I went on a run where I was downing any woman in my path and while it didn't seem wrong at the time, I ended up hurting a girl who really liked me and I really liked her because I tried to hook up with her roommates in college. That moment was probably the moment I felt like complete 💩 and from that day I understood that the consequences of being reckless could be hurting people, even if what you did wasn't actually wrong.
@Peace Be Still Considering the stigma surrounding virginity, I find your reason for disgust towards promiscuous men interesting. It’s as if a women will run away from you because your not “experienced” but at the same time the complete opposite is a turn off. As a virgin all this stuff confuses me...
He honestly should only apologize to the people he cheated on, kind of weird people would judge him when most of them would've done the same thing in his situation.
I don’t agree that most people would do what he did. He even says that most guys wouldn’t. He’s being self reflective, and wants to do better, so I respect the fact that he apologized to anyone he hurt with his selfishness.
at 17 i lost the person i thought i was going to spend my life with. 2 weeks later i started using girls to replace her. i spent 2 years of my life spiraling into the abyss of self abuse and pain, trying to escape what happened. i broke down and realized i was putting my hurt on every poor girls face that would give me a 2nd glance. later that year at 19 i met a girl and we eventually got married. things are getting better, but it takes work everyday. we have a daughter now and i have no idea how im going to prepare her for the world. i just hope i can foster a strong character in her. a stronger one than i have.
I needed this video. This is one of the many reasons why I practice self discipline. With exercise, food and even with women. Definitely difficult, but I found accepting an urge as a normal and healthy part of my life has helped me cope.
Watching this makes me feel like my parents and church members are right, I can't remember the number of times our preacher has preached against how having multiple partners are costly to your individual lives, almost every goddamn Sunday till I felt it was annoying to listen to the samething always, but it turns he's right sexual depravity is a thing and recks people maaad. Thank God I have parents that cares enough to always remind me and keep me in check even after 23yrs
Okay....can we talk about how “mental health” is now a catch-all phrase for lack of Love and respect for oneself. Yeah, they’re linked here and there but one can’t be negotiated into considering themselves and their Lives as valuable. It’s also not all in your head, most of it is in your heart. We Live in a world that would much rather discuss someones grotesque and passed misdeeds than actually listen to that same person talk about their reasons for the emptiness...this is bound to happen to many if we don’t address deeper and more personal matters.
Grotesque misdeeds?? Are we forgetting that this man had consensual sex with adults? He did nothing wrong. If he “cheated” on a partner that’s something else entirely. Where is the moral police to burn this man at the stake?
@@biglou80 The statement isn’t about this man in particular. It’s about the culture of dwelling on our personal judgments of people and not on the uprooting of the real problems we all face. Thanks.
"Its not all in your head, most of it is in your heart" Not trying to burst your bubble, or maybe im taking this too literally but IT IS in your head. Specifically, your brain. Yes, stimulus in the environment is needed to trigger the processing but if your brain didn't process it, it wouldn't matter to you because you would not feel it. The heart pumps blood it doesn't process emotions/feelings and thoughts. There are people who are less receptive to "love" because that part of their brain doesn't function correctly/efficiently. Good message tho, I agree with most of it.
I’ve never resonated so in my life with this channel. I could have not watched the videos you guys do without having an aneurysm. Thank you a lot for speaking out for EVERYONE.
It's good to see that Chris took this time "off" to self reflect and seemingly grow from this bad experience. Just because something isn't illegal doesn't make it "right". I'm seeing morals and accountability making a comeback with a lot of people. That is a very very good thing. Gonna head over to his podcast now and listen to the whole thing.
This is from a man!!!.when we start hearing accountability from women then we shall acknowledge this accomplishment. As men accountability is second nature.
@@sinbadx2902 Accountability is not second nature for men or women! Accountability is second nature for people with high emotional intelligence. Many men & women in general have a low EQ. EQ is usually increased when someone does serious personal development and works on their self awareness. I wish people would stop with this gender war.
He has "rediscovered" morals because he is being slapped around by social media, and being a "celebrity" of sorts he needs to be seen in a positive light to be successful. If anyone thinks he would be doing this 20 years back when the court of Twitter wasn't around...not a chance. He is doing what he needs to in order to save his job, and that's it. No, the 50's aren't making a comeback, sex is cheaper than ever, but when someone complains they have to make online tear filled rehearsed apologies saying "Ahhh screwwwed upppp"
I missed Chris D'Elia. I had just really started getting into his podcast when the whole rhing blew up. I hope he gets the mental health help he needs and can come back in any capacity he feels comfortable with.
Im an asexual guy, and the amount of importance society places on sex is mind boggling to me. Being a virgin past a certain age is seen as a failure, successful men are usually portrayed as able to sleep with whoever they want. How many people have ruined their lives in the pursuit of sex? I just don't get it
High value men have always had multiple Women, it's been like that since the beginning of time. The more good or rare genetics you have or high value you are the more women you have and more children you have... Which it's a way of evolution. It's been like that forever, as a men your game is to gain options and women around you, as for women is to lock a high value guy. I mean we're not equal so that means everything we do even promiscuous lifestyle will hit differently for men and women. Honestly I think it's worst for women but it's easier for them to have a promiscuous lifestyle than men but it comes with a high risk
@@ely26 Exactly monogamy is also a reproductive strategy that exists in other animals, some reptiles, birds, and mammals practice different degrees of it. If we're talking about nature and reproductive strategies, a harem isn't always the go to.
@@jhonnycultura4455 Rich people on average have less children than poor people. Only the top 1% of 1% of rich people ie the Wealthy tend to have a little more than the average rich person. Don't ask me for statistics if you are truly curious look it up yourself. Compare a handful of rich people Beyoncé Jay z to Bill and Melinda Gates, Beyoncé Jay z to random people in your neighborhood. Future to Jeff Bezos or Warren Buffet or Elon Musk etc, Future to random people in your neighborhood and do this 15 times and tell me what the pattern shows. This is no different than statistics or the way studies are conducted.
As somebody who's asexual now, I REALLY do understand. I'm still fine with people doing whatever, yet they place sexuality as a measure of maturity and then it comes off as ironic. Since too often they act like children for this very act. So many people can say they've fucked their life up for some sex.
Same here. I trained as a nurse & most in those days lived in the nurses' quarters. In 3 years at the end of the 70s I jumped over 70 women & I was going out with 3 girls for 2 years of that & didn't screw around during that. There were a lot of girls that I made emotional promises to, not verbal which was why I thought it was ok but it wasn't. I was an arsehole & I hated myself for being that. In my late 20s I got broken by someone else but knew I deserved it kharmicly. Then I made the change although it took a few years to get through that change. While I agree there's a debt to be paid perhaps consider it as really growing up & recognising that to grow up one has to find the personal hole you need to fill in your own life. It's the real costs we bear in life & the true formative experiences we need to get to a place where we can respect ourselves.
My great grandma was a psychologist and she gave me a lot of helpful advices and sayings that help you detect people you are better off without. One of those sayings is: everything that is before a ",but..." isn't actually meant. My experience so far in my entire life is that this is true in almost all cases. If you have the positive in front of the ",but..." and the negative after it, that means you want to say something negative and you want to devalue the positive. Same thing the other way around. "I'm sorry I hit you, but you started it!" Your emphasis is on the blaming part, not the apology. "I am thankful for you putting a lot of effort into this date, but you didn't buy my daughter a happy meal." Same same here. You devalue the first part and put emphasis on the blaming. With this structure you can sometimes make it seem like it should be that way. I even catch myself doing that sometimes and realize I'm more negative than I want to be. My great grandma always told me there are two ways to fix this. First option: switch the ",but..." with an "and". You don't devalue or put emphasis on either side. Bothe sides of the sentence have the same weight, thus you can still bring out you crticism, but you're not weaseling yourself out of your responsibility. Second option: Switch the first and the second half around. "You hit first, but I hit you too." sounds way more like the other is showing humility. You want the other one to see what they did, but the focus is on your own action.
Man you guys are amazing ..better than even his own “friends” the way Brenden Schaub reacted made me wanna slap him ..he started fake crying talkin about how he can’t believe what Chris did ...this is how a real friend would stand up for someone ...you guys prolly aren’t even his friend but yet somehow ... stand stronger beside him than even a lot of those ppl who were supposedly close to him. Even Theo Von ..love that dude but he didn’t have his friend Chris’ back at allll, he had plenty of times to say something like “I don’t get why he’s had to go away for so long” and never said it ...such bullshit how spineless ppl will become anytime cancel culture makes it’s ugly way around. Everyone dips out and is afraid to speak up and stand up for what’s right ...you can message young girls over 18 ..not illegal..if ppl think its creepy that’s fine but it’s not illegal. Like you both said in another video ...influencers should be allowed to entertain groupies that’s one of the perks of “making it” ..or at least it used to be. Getting rich, famous or wealthy...some ppl are motivated by that because it increasing their opportunities to have more sex with more people ..not saying that’s a good or bad motive but it’s in us to want more options than less. It’s human nature to want to be desired and then imagine you can’t even entertain the options once you get the options from your success. Now it’s like you can’t even look forward to that perk cus someone’s always gonna be offended by every single little thing you say or do and try to get you cancelled. Great videos though discovered you both today and been on a binge ..yall got me cracking up nonstop over here
Well, from what I have observed from Brendan and Theo... that's not really out of character. Theo clearly does exactly the same thing Chris has done, but barely holds his head above water with his own issues. Brendan gives the vibe that he partook as well and gives off a bit of a nodding fool vibe. The two of them don't have their poop together to get behind him in any meaningful way.
I don't like Brendan at all but I don't think it was fake crying nor do I think he was sad about what Chris supposedly did, but that his career was like guarunteed over. Same with Bryan being sad about it. Not to mention that was just their public response. You have to understand the position they're in- their friend just got immediately cancelled n career ended over some twitter posts. They have to be extremely careful so that the mob doesn't attack them right after. We have no idea what they said privately.
I honestly get this dude. At first, having sex with a lot of women sounds great but trust me eventually you end up losing your soul. For me it was online dating. Now I feel empty inside, numb and kinda depressed. I feel desensitized af and just cannot deal with a normal healthy relationship. I think I'm just broken.
His apology is something we can all learn from. Being honest with yourself and owning up to the hurt you can cause others. No excuses. No scapegoating.
@@camerontate9141 It’s not right to use people. And in his case, he had an addiction. And his behavior could have need up being physically detrimental. Case in point: Charlie Sheen. And he wasn’t open about it. Imagine if he had gotten something, ignored his issue, and passed it around. And listen to him. He’s talking about power dynamic. This has nothing to do with gender. The same goes for all people. Being responsible and not using your position in society as a means to getting what you want.
I disagree with your last part, men and women are different. A man that has slept with many women is seen as high value (Or he won't have to power to sleep with many woman) but a woman who sleeps with many men is seen as easy. Men score points, women are goal keepers. This is a simple reality that most people deny.
@@Brass_Heathen Interesting. However, I don't believe men or women who sleep around a lot are considered high value. At least in the sense that no one wants them long term. That's why they are able to sleep around a lot. And the research shows this.
You should make a video on how forgive your promiscuity, talking about it is one thing but also saying how u can heal yourself to help yourself would be a great video.
‘’ You do a lot cause you lack a lot ‘’! ‘’ You have not cause you ask not!’’ ‘’ Value Value! ‘’ Many great quotes from this man, continue to bless us with your knowledge my man.
They absolutely were consensual (no "if indeed they were".) The argument is how fame is a "power dynamic" in turn invalidating their consent. Not sure how I feel about the "power dynamic" discussion. I'd understand (and I think Aba n Preach have talked about this?) if he was their boss, but simply being an admired celebrity? Can you just not go on any dates as a celebrity?
(And the issue is also with people who say he was going after 16yr olds despite his release of the messages. And how he "groomed" them by messaging them when they were underage, finding out they were underage n ceasing contact, then messaging them when they were of age.)
I agree! And I say this as someone who doesn't agree with maybe half of their content and as a feminist whom they criticized many times before. But its their delivery, their level of respect and logic combined with a tinge of sarcasm, sass, and humor that does it for me. They've earned my respect as a worthy adversary!
I could never imagine Preach being an "ugly kid". He's a beautiful man, who has a beautiful soul. His Wife is Lucky and I would have to assume that he is Lucky to have her. Let me say, Blessed instead of Lucky! Luck has nothing to do with it.
Shouldn’t the women who accused him of being with them underage be looked at? Because they straight lied to try and destroy this man’s career. Edit: I would like to add something here - it’s been shown that he is guilty of being with someone under the age of 18 for years - this was in a state where the age of consent is 16, so technically not illegal, though immoral. When I made this comment I was referring to the women who posted screenshots of conversations but conveniently left out the parts that showed him backing off once they revealed their ages. This was the only evidence they presented and they did not show any other communications. For those that have been victimised by him, they have all the right to do what they believe they should to hold him accountable. I am not against people who have been victimised, I am against those who falsify these things. They contributes to the difficulties and scrutiny real victims face when they tell their stories. So for those who are false victims, I do believe there should be a legal route for the people they lied about to take and make sure they are held accountable for what they did.
Preach brother. We live in a modern society where its OK for women to lie and make false accusations against a man in an attempt to utterly destroy them financially and socially. Even after proven innocent he is still the bad one and they go away free? How does nobody see the wrong in this?
@Hey Max So you fully support the concept of "Guilty until proven innocent"? That's rough man, you perhaps don't live in a civilized society where you take juridical systems seriously, in which case it's understandable. How about I accuse you of something horrendous tomorrow and you serve time?
Unfortunately we live in a backward society the teachers who sleep with underage students are women . And they get a slap on the wrist or no jail time whatsoever but if a man does it is the end of him
6-7 years ago he was messaging a girl in my grade at my high school (grade 11-12 at the time). Texted her and had her on snapchat, while also following her instagram. It didn't take longer than 15 seconds on her insta to know she was in high school. She would never really talk about it but eventually eluded to him being a creep at one point.....lol no shit, he was like 32-33 years old
Louie CK did it first, and best, but he shouldn't have. And if Chris did nothing wrong, then why is he apologising? They even blanked out the word "sex" for goodness sake. Soon we won't have any words, because EVERY word will offend SOMEONE. This kind of repression will have dire consequences. We were born to f*ck, it's our main task on the planet, that's why we enjoy it so much.
Its sad that people have to come to this realization after the damage is done. I've warned past close friends about this but you often get demonized for asking if that's the right thing to do. (The promiscuous part btw)
A lot of times we need the consequence of our actions or the voice of someone else to make us see what it is we are doing and actually understand the wrong behind it in order to improve on ourselves. If we knew from the start then these things would not have happened. Life needs failure in order to build success.
IDK man it really depends. I really just want sex - not a partner, just fwb/hookups. As long as I'm upfront about it, because I want my relationships to be healthy, I don't think promiscuity would be "wrong"
@@MCSorry to each their own. The issue is that those being promiscuous are wanting a relationship with the ideology that there is some sense of purity. It doesn't work both ways, the other part is that some will live that lifestyle and make the realization that it was as self serving or fulfilling and want something different. Which is fine, but there is a serious life change and mentality change to make at that time which most would be likely be impatient for.
hope you guys see this one. this video really made me think. since I moved from my home country I have become much more successful with women. I dont have some kind of extreme high body count, but I have certainly been entangled with what I think is a large amount of woman versus the ones I have actually been in a relationship with. with the casual relationships I had most of the girls ended up hurt. I was always upfront and honest about my perspective, status and intentions. i'd always tell myself that was my side of the bargain even though I knew with almost all of them they didnt like hearing it. I somehow knew they were gonna get hurt but being upfront and honest was some sort of selfish excuse when I should have known they didnt have the strength to resist. it really ate away at me. this video really makes me think about my situation. I think I need to change. I think i've had enough
It's great to hear heterosexual men speak on how reckless some men can be with sexual activity. There's such an emphasis on men being "ladies men" that there's no emphasis on responsibility and accountability for the feelings that are involved. Thank you both. 💜
Why would there be, those 'men' are the extreme minority of the population. If sex was distributed evenly it wouldn't be an issue. Female hypergamy is the problem in nature, society used to account for this 🤷♂
He didn’t anything illegal. He just acted carelessly with people and didn’t take into consideration that people will take advantage of your vices to f*ck you over for clout. He is a famous guy. He has to be more careful about these kind of interactions.
I find disgusting that people accuse him of proactively looking forward for underaged girls and rape. Although, he still has a problem, you will never be able to grow as a person surrounding yourself among really young people in this celebrity world. I am actually concerned he ends up being a ephebophilic or Leonardo DiCaprio. For you to understand the biological timeline: -You still a teenager until you are 21 years old. In fact some people keeps growing until they are 23 years old. -Your brain is not fully developed until you are 25 years old. It's not the same dating a 25 year old as a 40 year old than a 40 year old with a 20 year old. In fact, I don't know a single person who hasn't changed when they are 21 years old. So why are we considered adults at our 18 year old birthday? Voting, yet somehow you need to be 21 to gamble.
Problem is, we haven't made being careless a crime, so people still feel like it's ok to do. The majority of the world's problems are because there are so many hurt people walking around. People treat other people like trash because it's not against the law. That hurt person then has no recourse to "balance the scales" and that's when tires get slashed.
When society becomes more and more hedonistic it’s really nobody but YOUR fault as an adult for not getting yourself educated and learning discipline. We can sit down and talk about how society is killing us on so many levels but at the end all that matters is what YOU do to make sure you don’t get screwed.
dont get too attached to blaming the individual, society and influences matter, if noone is telling you, teaching you, and youre too distracted and out of touch within yourself to know that empty feeling telling you something is wrong, its easy to see why people dont want better for themselves because they dont even know the alternative exists
That's totally true imo, but I would still say we have individual responsibility to look for the answers and solutions if/when we realize we're miserable and failing to meet our potential. A broken society may lead more people down that hard path and make it more difficult to recover... But giving up and simply blaming society for our misery is not a solution. Society is what we make it as individuals, and while we can't change society as a whole we can try to contribute in our own communities in ways that might help. For everyone person who recognizes their deep unfulfillment in modern society that's one more person who might help us fix something instead of just groaning about an oppressive world and staying stuck in it.
Funny you should talk about individual people in society, despite the fact that everybody shrugs the said individual off and everyone goes on with their day as if nothing happened.
I had an addiction at one point, lasted few years. Was taking a lot out of my account for it, borrowing off people, cancelling plans to pay for it. It was a very bad time and made my mental attitude drop. Thankfully one of my mates of 10+ years helped me get through it. Addiction can be anything and take a lot out of the person and he saw that and thankfully stopped me from going too far
I can’t tell you how relieving it is to watch you guys cover such an interesting and complex situation and completely take the words out of my mouth. It’s so hard to talk about this with some people bc they’re so close minded and are so quick to label D’Elia as a creep when in reality it’s much more complex than that. You guys truly cover all bases of this story and dive into the tough aspects of this apology. Y’all are very, very smart individuals. I love hearing your opinions. Refreshing and well-said! Thanks for the incredible videos. Love from Calgary, AB! 🤍🇨🇦
Honestly to me, if you want to sleep around that's fine. As an adult you know the risks and you do you boo. 👏BUT👏DONT👏CHEAT👏ON👏PEOPLE👏 Be honest with your intentions from the start! His poor fiance he cheated on and then said "shes my dream girl shes the one I want to spend my life with" 😓
what about everything else he said? what part? i mean the entire video, that part, what about literally every single other thing chris said that addresses the cheating?
@@xtkaythen definitely.. so much deeper than just the cheating. The cheating is a byproduct. The mental n emotional zapping ur doing to urself is far more damaging which will lead to how u damage others
Nah. I hate this "do what thou wilt" mentality nowadays. DON'T SLEEP AROUND! There's always a cost! You'll lose your reputation, lose your ability to bond with a partner, get an STD or a kid
Apology dont mean u get to save the relationship it mans u have to work on yourself to find who u really r.his girl need to forgive him and exit that relationship.this i the age where people r being release from those that bound them.
Man this is such a huge topic that needs to derive addressed across the world. You guys may or may not understand the gravity of learning a lesson like this and what wisdom can be obtained. The world, especially out country glorifies sex and it basically controls literally every facet of our existence in society. From social media, music, video games, the clothes we wear and etc. it’s been a struggle that I’ve personally had/have dealt with, on a lesser degree than most but still letting it control my life. I always felt alone and questioned myself when I would sit back and ask is it all worth it. Then I look at society and get the “OK” that it’s nothing wrong with being promiscuous. Yet deep down my inner voice would shame me for it knowing it wasn’t as fulfilling as I initially felt before the act. Anyways before I go for too long of a rant I just wanna say thank you so much for this video and you blessing us with your wisdom and attention on these types of issues. You are gonna save lives, souls and really help many men, and hopefully women as well with your wisdom
It really is strange just like its strange to see society becoming more racists and more sexists. As if........history is repeating itself. We're stuck in a goddamn loop. Returning to some good traditions but also returning to some fucked up ones too.
Bro, this was so clear from the start that society had no right to cancel him for being a cheater. That's between him and his woman and the other women he impacted. He cleared his name at the start but people just wanted to believe he was some demon, when he really was a dude learning to function in fame. I hope everyone involved gets what they need.
I'm glad this wasn't a "I'm sorry I'm sorry" bs apology. I've been trying to live by these words " don't be sorry, be better" and I think he is do that as well. It's cool to see a man do this and not get caught up in his pride.
Made me think of Bill Burr's routine on "gold digging whores", specifically when he says "there is no help out there for guys to prepare them for being rich and famous. 24/7, Do it. Do it. Do it."
He made people angry. He's going to say sorry. That's how being a celebrity works. You might not apologize to those around you, because you don't depend on them for a paycheck. You aren't a celebrity. So, don't put yourself into his shoes.
It sounds like he's working it out with his fiancee, and it sounds like you think that's not important, that his love of his life's confidence in him is "ridiculous" and that his son "didn't deserve" a role model weird
Bless Chris man. This has been a showcase of the social engineering of a lot of confident, self made men. Nobody will say anything of this. But someday they have to be exposed to themselves and hopefully all these kinds of men make a turn for the better
I got a divorce in 2014. I just got coffee with a few local women and saw the exact pattern of the type I was attracting. They didn't want anything deeper than surface level and barely remembered my name by the end of the date. I never slept with any of them and I've been single this whole time because I needed to understand what I needed as a human being other than physical wants. Am I healthier? No, because it goes with what y'all said about it could be anything that an unhealthy, hollow person drags to their maw to fill the holes. For me it was social media and food. I'm still grateful for having the vices that I had rather than dragging other broken people into my mental crap, but it still takes time to figure out what it is that fills that hole. I've done what needs to be done and kinda crawling my way out of things now. One step at a time, but I'm finally moving. Take care guys.
Only GOD fills that hole. Believe in Jesus Christ and come to Him and cry out to Him. HE loves you, all of our hearts are restless until they rest in Him
My advice is to seek out community service. I think it's a role in our communities that's lacking in so many of us and making us feel this way. There's something to be said about service for others and a sense of community. I don't at all agree with the other reply implying that God has all the solutions... But I do think religious communities have the community part down right. But those of us who don't believe in such things still need that sense of community from somewhere! Whatever you decide I wish you the best, you're not alone out there.
Weekend Bonus video
Keep it up guys 👍
😎
Yall needa get on stereo and engage in conversations with yall fans.
Y’all boys are the real mvps I recommend y’all to others
Your your content is always real it’s cool cause a lot of people out there aren’t
A big problem in society is excess. Just because you can doesn't mean you should. Self-control is something many of us are lacking these days.
BIG FACTS bro!!!
preach!
Truth💯
Well said
indulge but don’t overindulge. That’s it
I love how aba is talking all serious while in the meantime his hoodie is trying to swallow his face
Lol
The best part😂😂
He needs a body sock.
He does this every now and again lol
He's serious because he's being consumed by his own foreskin. This is a serious medical condition. I wouldn't be smiling either.
Aba giving serious life advice ... whilst simultaneously looking like he is trying to escape from the ass of a green Zebra 👏
LMAO broooo
😭😭😭😭
Hahahaha
Ace Ventura lookin boi 🤣
😹
self-discipline is freedom. we become enslaved when we succumb to our impulses and excess.
we become SAVAGES
Enslaved to what I'm not trying to say your wrong but what I think when I see that don't we become controlled and enslaved to not acting on our impulses we control ourselves all the time I just want you to explain that more.
☹🥺
@@genesis8973 we are servants to our habits. You create a good or bad master. So you can either be a slave to your addictions or a servant to your self-discipline.
@@TheBoxofX I want neither I will never accept being a slave or a servant
“You do a lot because you lack a lot” that’s a mf bar!!!!!
That’s brilliant!!!
Reminds me of that Nicki Minaj bar:
"People with the least
Always doing the most."
For every guy like him there are 10.000x more who never felt the touch of a women but still live daily slave to chemicals that make you horny and when any of them get a chance like this dude had .... it is wierd not to abuse it in a way .
gyals who cuss a lot are a turn off
You’re setting a rather low one there
*Lust* is pretty dangerous it does a great job of masquerading & giving you the same high as *Love* but, it's nowhere close to it. I've seen men & women risk their whole brand/job/family over it & as quickly as it comes is as quickly as it burns out.
This! 👏🏻
Deep, I’ve never heard it explained like this
Yup, agreed. Lust also obscures your moral compass if you allow it. If people are honest with themselves they acknowledge their own lustful thoughts and many of them we are ashamed of when our hormones have calmed. For many they let their lust carry them across the line to committing acts that sear their consciences. At first they are ashamed, then they become arrogant and prideful and justify their misdeeds and even gloat over them because thats where we are as a society
it is quite literally a dopamine hit, that wears off and leaves you wanting more
@CuedoAdoñoscence17 because im human, as are you
As someone who’s struggled with several addictions especially sex and porn addiction, you become numb far more than you think you ever could. It starts to blur the lines between what’s normal and what starts to be inappropriate and honestly almost creepy because you start to fall down rabbit holes for what’s sexually desirable. Lost sense in self and there’s a wake up call at some point and you hope you aren’t too far gone in it when it happens. Never thought it would be so difficult until I fell farther into it. It’s no joke and I hope anyone close to it can come out of it.
It’s scary.
It’s not scary at all... it’s science. Stop shaming yourself for having a high libido and wanting to have a variety of partners. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you.
How did you overcome it man?
@@xavier7438 these things are spiritual seek Christ Jesus he will set u free.
@@biglou80 even beeing hungry and liking junk food is natural, but becoming obese and addicted to food is not normal.
Most people addicted to sex or anything else are trying to fill a void
This just shows how important self-control is. Also, it takes a big man to self reflect and admit his faults. Shoutout to Chris for being honest and trying to improve himself.
Yeah I thought that too. Not many people have intrepidity enough to accept their fault.
why tho if you are famous you will try to get the most beautiful girls out there as long they are 20years old and up
@@Threelegs94 Morality and the end goal. What is it you want when its all said and done. He was in a position where he had some sort of power and was able to use it to indulge in something he enjoyed. The problem began when he indulge in it too much. It was taking away from what he wanted all along. So no, he wasn't wrong for doing what he was doing, rather doing something that was just a temporary thing, that got way out of control. That's essentially whats happening here.
what’s important now is that he actually changes. It’s hard to admit your faults but it’s even harder to grow out of them.
The coolest thing about this comment is that it's coming from one of the greatest ninjas in naruto.
I really do feel empathy for people who struggle with self control. We live in a society that encourages indulging in everything as many times as possible. It's hindering many.
Yep. This is a society of consumerism, materialism, self indulgence, oversexualilzed culture, and instant gratification. EGO VS SPIRIT.
we all struggle with it...
But they were kids though. He spent time in jail for hurting minors!
@@evanjuleen I'm not defending a predator if that's what you're thinking. I'm stating my opinion on people in general who struggle with self-control.
I never mentioned that man's name in my comment.
Excuses are for losers
There's no true freedom without discipline, you'll always be a slave to something without discipline.
Learn discipline in one aspect of life people.
Discipline is the key to the doors of opportunity
Its just that a lot of ppl see discipline as "the objectively right thing to do" when the thought behind it should be "not the most enjoyable, but long term best choice for my own happiness"
I'd go a step further and say discipline has very little to do with my own personal "happiness" and more to do with my own stability and ability to offer up what I can for myself/friends/family/community.
Without discipline it's too easy to get distracted and pursue things that are completely self serving and unproductive. In this way a lack of discipline can actually make you feel happier, but it's a shallow pursuit and the whole world is left worse off for my own selfish interests because everyone is losing what I could otherwise be contributing.
That's my take on discipline at least, and I relate it to drug addiction in my personal life because that's been the biggest area I struggle with discipline! But to reiterate I think discipline has more to do with strengthening society as a whole than it does with personal satisfaction... Though they're obviously joy in freeing yourself from undisciplined dependence.
Amen
@@endiya. i second this
As men we aren't really taught to value ourselves when it comes to sex. We're raised with the "You're the man if you can get all the women in bed" mentality. You shouldn't be accessible to just any hot woman who throws herself at you. Know your worth. Also, think about what life experiences made the woman become so easy, and show empathy by making the right choice for her and saying no thank you. (Sure, some women prefer the fast no strings attached life, but I ain't talking about them) It's not easy to decline the offers at first, I know. Lol. It took me years to turn down an easy good time. But the feeling of having the power again and not being controlled by sexual urges is amazing. You're able to have a healthy, committed relationship with one woman and you'll thank yourself for evolving. Lose the addiction, cause addictions obviously increase the chances of you doing something out of character to get that fix. Be careful brothas💯‼
Us men were never really taught to respect our bodies growing up. I wish this was something I've learned growing up. Sucks that society shames men for not wanting or being interested in sex.
@@Kuukuukaachoo indeed. Which is why we have to become the leaders in our own lives, go our own way, and teach our children the lessons we've learned so they have a head start. It's one of one my favorite things about fatherhood. My 11 year old son just sits there respectfully, absorbing info while I teach him the game.
Self-mastery is the only path to inner peace and true happiness. If you don't control your passions, your passions will control you.
Speaking from my experience I have to talk to 5-10 women just to find one to have sex with. Another 5-10 women because the first out of the 10 doesn't want a relationship and now I'm cheating, because the first one isn't giving up the vagina and I can't assume I'm gone just get it so I need to keep a spare. Another 10 chicks I'm talking to, because the first is falling through. I swear if I could find just one solid chick. I wouldn't be like this, but I don't see myself slowing down. I plan to go on a roll again soon. I been working on finance, but when that's over. I'll be talking to 50 women day, because what else do I know? I don't see anything wrong with what he did except the part it's hurting him, because he has too many eyes on him and he lives off his reputation.
@Hey Max the more examples of a self respecting man that we put out there, the easier it'll be for those kids to find the right path if they choose to seek. The answers are out there. No one should just blindly follow anything without thoroughly researching it themselves. Always ask why! "Why should I be this way?" So you can understand what the benefits are. And not short term, that's what screws us over. Long term is where the substance is. This is just my way of thinking, we all have to find what's best for us as individuals.
"You're gluttonous because of the space you're trying to fill..." Brilliant...
That hit me in the feels too
Not really. There is no "space to be filled" if he's following his biological imperative.
@M P LOL damn
@@rickderris5294 Your "biological imperative" is to raise (physically AND mentally) healthy children. Promiscuity is counter-productive.
Consider downsizing, what can you live without?
"It's okay until it's not." Exactly. He benefited from his influence but it became too much and it cost him his relationships and his mental health.
💯
I'm not promiscous at all cuz I quickly realised that hookups ain't my thing, I only enjoy sex if I have feelings for the person. But I'm not sure what this "you pay the prize" that Aba talks about. The only time I think this could become a problem is if dudes or girls sleep with so many people that they have established a reputation around town, that's how you know it's gotta be alot of people. If people can be like "hey I slept with X last weekend" and then other people in a group of friends be like "Wait I've heard about X cuz my friend slept with him awhile ago and he" or "I've slept with him too" then you know it's bad. If you have a hookup a few times a year a whole town won't know you by the tip of the tongue you know unless it's the smallest town ever.
There was this playa in my class that had screwed already 2 girls in my class and then he went after me. I think he's probably one that could garner a bad rep after a while. Especially if he wants a serious relationship he might get refused that because people know he's a douche already. But he's never gonna get refused pussy because girls pretty much stumbled over him to get his D it was just ridiculous to watch. Except he got refused by me and I think his brain went ERROR ERROR CANT COMPUTE "REJECTION" cuz it had never happened to him before, I could tell. Even tho this happened 10 years ago it's still so weird to me so he's the first example I think of.
His apology was great. He hasn't excused himself, took extreme ownership of the situation and he's working on himself. He explained he realised this power-dynamic thing that many people don't know or understand... I think that's really important to be understood too.
Here's the thing about the "power dynamic" conversation.
Really...where the fuck is the line? What's the "procedure" as a famous/rich person for initiating casual sex?
Look, obviously people can use their power to manipulate the situation and take advantage of others. Duh.
But are we gonna pretend that celebs don't get people tossing themselves at them all the fucking time? Really? Are we gonna pretend groupies don't still exist?
If a person wants to fuck and makes it known...why is it bad to fuck (if they're of age and consented, obviously)?
Can celebs only fuck people of equal societal standing because of "power dynamics?" LIke, wtf are the rules here? People spout this "power dynamic" shit and don't ever expand on the concept.
Nah, that "power-dynamic" bs is just an excuse used by self-infantilized adults to shift blame and responsibility. What's the difference between someone using their fame to get laid and someone who uses their good-looks? What about intelligence or charm? Charisma? Money? What if a 145 IQ person seduces a 95 IQ person? The dating game is an inherently imbalanced playing field, and EVERYBODY uses whatever advantage they have to get ahead.
Chris D'Elia had no real power over any of those women. Was he their boss? Did he have legal or financial authority over them? No. All those adult women threw themselves at him willingly, just because he was a celebrity. But for some reason he's the one supposed to feel shame. IMO the only people that should feel any shame are the ADULT women degrading themselves for nothing and then pretending they have no agency, just to run from personal responsibility.
I don't support promiscuity, but neither do I support labeling promiscuous people as inherent victimizers.
The power dynamic is real and can be as subtle as positions of perceived authority whether you like it or not.
Looks, money, corporate position, status, material possessions etc. all have the potential to strike a superior vs inferior state in people.
Fact is, when you're a guy whom women won't even bat an eylid at and you don't have healthy conversations about socialising and figuring out what works THEN how to be respectful to yourself and others, but you get catapulted into the spotlight - literally - on stage... If you have unspoken "issues" when it comes to women (or whoever you're sexually attracted to) and they are now very much open to your perceived status (of power) if it's not been discussed, warnings explained etc.
This will happen. And it sucks.
When I worked as a movement facilitator at festivals we literally had a team briefing every day and one of the sections was exactly this topic. As we are the "leader" in the space, some people will fall under a "follower" disposition and will be vulnerable, we were taught to see and manage this without making the situation awkward for anyone.
It's a thing dude.
Agreed. I feel like his apology should be the standard for those who are “canceled”. He acknowledged and seemed to be genuine about what he learned from it and how he’s changing his behavior and to me, that should be the goal of cancel culture. Note I say this as someone who does not engage in the toxic elements of cancel culture such as actively trying to get someone fired but rather opts out of watching someone for myself.
I thought his apology was corny and lame. He shouldve went the louis ck route
A lot of men won’t talk about it but having a bunch of sexual partners is emotionally draining. Idk about others but when I have sex with someone, there’s always a little emotional exchange there.
Thats how sex was built it was meant to consolidate what was emotionally already there + produce a child. Thats why its love making. Love is emotional people who devalue sex run they're lying to you that emotional exchange snowballs and can ruin your future with the one.
Emotional exchange... more like a fluid exchange
Big facts. Anyone you’ve been with will be in your heart no matter what. It’s like we’re trained to not care about our or other’s emotions.
Sex is literally the only time when 2 human beings become ONE. So when I hear people saying it's '' just sex, if you like him/her then go f@#% each other '' I cringe and walk away from such individuals. Most of them aren't really ok in their heads anyway after racking up bodies
@@arunkeshavadas7171 Women aren’t deliberately trying to be extremely selective. A lot of it comes down to societal pressure and biology. Women are wired to be selective because for most of human history, pregnancy has been a life threatening condition. A woman isn’t going to throw her life away to have sex with a man with less than average genes. If she’s going to die during pregnancy, she would subconsciously want the man with stronger genes so the baby has a higher chance of survival.
I've never been promiscuous, but I've seen what it does to people around me and I made a choice to not be like them. I haven't regretted it. I want moments like that to be special with someone I love, not a "fix" with someone I don't even know.
Exactly. I don't desire a girl who cheats on me, or sees other men while with me, so why should I desire to be the promiscuous man?
That someone special usually don't think same way as you.
High chance that person is promiscuous.
@@bullseye6969 and I understand this completely. But if I decide to conduct myself in the same manner, I am no different.
Truthfully, I'd rather a girl be straight forward and tell me that she desires other men. Then we can go out separate ways. Why cheat and risk conflict when you can simply remove yourself from the relationship and have all of the fun desired?
@Paul Buskie What are you talking about?
@Paul Buskie I'm just talking from my perspective. From what I've seen, it hurts people more than help. It's my choice to learn from their mistakes and not repeat their actions. I'm not keeping anyone from doing anything, I'm just saying what caused me to make this choice.
Ex-husband cheated on me while I was pregnant. I was sick, throwing up 3x a day everytime I ate, and nauseas all day for 5 months straight. So because I couldn't do anything sexually he tried to get it somewhere else. Sigh....sexual self control is important. Because he lacked that control it tore our marriage apart.
I'm the type of person that can't sleep around just for the sake of pleasing myself. My emotions are attached to the act of sex. So I'd rather be sexual in the protection of marriage.
I’m glad that he is back and is focusing on bettering himself.
I’m hopeful it’s a big change for him and he can become an inspiration for others that struggle
I never knew this guy until Aba n Preach showed this
I don't know much about him, but I have mad respect for him for admitting his mistakes and trying to better himself
same,btw this is one of aba and preach's best videos
Yeah he's talented. As a man who knows the struggle of managing sex and how it literally has controlled my life at one point, he sounds sincere. It's fun but it's exhausting . One of my best friends got married because he was tired of having to keep all together, like the anxiety of saying the wrong name. He was happy to be able to focus on one woman. But it's hormonal. I ask women all the time how irritational are you during your your cycle or even pregnancy? I have done so many irrational things when those hormones kick in. To only regret it, not the minute but the second it's over. I know older men who are still dealing with it. And literally no one teaches you how to deal with it. It's so many people addicted to porn and it's multibillion dollar business. Every man I know has struggled with this to some degree. Mahershala Ali said he had a to struggle with it to focus on his craft. It's crazy the amount of people who deal with this.
I had a friend who's dad told him to go and be promiscuous and sleep with many woman cause hed a "young man" and he should cause he wont have time for it later I told him that thats not the most responsible thing and I just hope he sees was up now. Dont teach your kids to be sexual deviants they might be confused in a real relationship
It's ridiculous. I also had a friend's father tell him that. To this day he still has no respect for women. And it's so sad because he truly could have been a wonderful person.
Not a celebrity but I needed this, you can sleep with 1,000,000 people, you can sleep with 1,000,000 of the most beautiful and amazing people in the world but the hole will never be filled.
@BlueCrow hahahahah maybe I did maybe I didn’t
Only Jesus can fill it
Yes and the void is called dopamine deficiency aka ADHD
The key to a wholesome life is balance and discipline.
Woah bro where’s you get your last name!?
@@alejandrotavares318 I'm Portuguese.
@@alexandratavares6612 wow Im American. Our names are cool coincidences! Haha have a nice day ✌🏼
@@alexandratavares6612 now kiss
Facts and self reflection and self improvement go a long way as well
I love these guys, im 13 and they are teaching me to be a good person and make the right decisions, thank you
I’m 16 and same I agree
They are also teaching you how to wear a hoodie in the goofiest possible way.
@@Jeavesingly Better to wear it in an endearing and ironic way than an in unironic way trying to look cool 🤷♂️
Just remember these guys can be wrong just like us. Just don’t take their advice as word of god all the time. Ik u don’t, just something to keep in mind
@@EncryptEdits will do sir!
“Through discipline, comes freedom.”That is my life’s mantra.
@annabellaink who is that in your profile pic?
@@ryanevans8323 that would be me.
@@TheFairyintheFishBowl are you on Twitter or Instagram?
@@ryanevans8323 I’m on Instagram, but I’m not very active. I’m in the process of seeming myself off of unnecessary social media. What’s your handle?
@@TheFairyintheFishBowl can I ask what your handle is?
This is why I say it is absolutely possible for us men to go through a Ho phase. And this is the reason why I avoid sleeping around. In addition to emotional unsatisfaction. There is a risk of STDs, there's a risk of false accusations. There's the risk of creating a family with someone u don't want to create a family with. Value ur seed, gents.
An understatement this is
Fr that’s why I’m very skeptical with dating I have high standards bc ion tolerate no bull shit
@@GArmand715 and its not even the looks that i hold to a high standard. She can be average in looks in every way but if she has a great personality and amazing charisma then she becomes a dime. If a hot chick want you, lay off in the cut and observe her personality before giving her any chance what so ever
I agree with the message though
Men in the red pill community act like those are things men shouldn't consider.
Aba looks like he’s trying to hide a terrible haircut. Preach without his beard makes me uncomfortable. That floor is one nae nae away from collapsing into a sink hole. But i agree with everything that was said. Great video.
This comment has no right for being funny xd
😂
how did this comment say exactly what and how i’m feeling rn about this video 😭😭😭🤣
I'm glad I'm not the only one who sat mourning the beard. Preach is like Reginald D Hunter in that his entire look is automatically +5 with a beard.
I can’t stop laughing LOOOOL 😭😭😂
"You do a lot because you lack a lot."
Powerfully phrased.
"I don't want to be horny I want to be happy" idk alot of guys
*Guts' theme plays loudly*
@@ExeErdna LMFAO!
Truth.
@@ExeErdna haha love it
@@ExeErdna :'D
Goddamn Abba that is so quoteable. " Walk from the table before the house makes you walk away". That's written on my soul.
That's a beautiful ass quote isn't it? Stuck with me 2 hours later hearing that.
Yes that was a good one
Kenny Rogers
That's where I am with skateboarding right now
@@Beafeaters close...."know when to hold'em, know when to fold'em.....know when to walk away...."
As a recovering sex addict, i can definitely relate to what he is going through. It was never about attraction or relationship or anything meaningful. It's only about a feeling that you like and finding a warm body to bring about that feeling. And then repeating that process as many times and as often as possible. It's a hard road ahead, but it's so worth it. I, personally, am a completely different person, and he probably is, too. There's a saying, "Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom." When you are honest with yourself and those in your life, you really see everything for what it really is. Once you start seeing things for what they really are, the knowledge that you pontificate is real.
Thank you for sharing!! It takes courage and strength. I wish you all the best on your healing journey.
Hmu if you ever want to relapse
After I had an experience that wasn't consensual I guess I just went off the rails. Trying to take my power back I was just sleeping around sometimes two different guys in one day. It's very easy to warp it and make it seem like I'm being this "strong woman in control of her sexuality". Intention is everything. We all just want to be loved and sex is just the quick and easy fix. Now even today with someone I love it's hard for me to be fully open after all that I went through. Obviously you do you, but I think the casual sex thing is just a response to us not really knowing how to love.
What's up? DM?
“Casual sex is just a response to us not knowing how to love” excellent point.
@@mollyoxy not always but it’s her truth n no on can take that from her
Seriously tho, what is love? Seems to be just a real abstract idea and concept...sounds like a fantasy
@@THEREAL_GZUS yeah I definitely can't say blanketly it's the whole truth for everyone. But from the many men I've been with they've all been heartbroken and use hooking up as a way to protect themselves. And now it's just become apart of the normal culture with apps like tinder. Eventually people just break down and see it's not what they really want.
Lust is very dangerous
To the weak minded. I'm having these "tingles" since i never had a GF, and just 3x with one girl, who left for other guys. The man in the video had more than one before doing this crap, so he'd be able to hold back easier than i would, if our minds were on the same level. These "tingles" i feel everyday, yet i don't go around smashing like that, even not with pr0st*tutes, which would be legal, with consent and i wouldn't cheat on anyone, as i have no one.
I go to some "hub" a lot, but that's just a solo thing. If i'd have a GF now, i'd never do what this man did, even if 2 hotter-than-my-GF women would be sitting close to me to make me open up to them, i'd warn them to not try, and would push them away if they wouldn't listen.
My lust doesn't do dumb or even bad things, so it's just about what weaker minded people would do to fight back. Therapy is a good start for them.
@@Kurachi84 say that when you have the power to sleep with any woman you want. Now because you don’t have much you feel that way , but you can’t say for sure you would do that if you’ve never been in that situation. A lot of things get said when your lonely.
@@pharaohavalon8566 It still is a mental thing, and i don't like blaming it on lust alone, as each individual should take responsibility for their own actions.
As someone who never had much, i'm pretty much HOT for what i had to miss all those years, i'd be friggin explosive for a GF and/or some good bedroom fun.
I should be the one not being able to hold myself back, not someone who had plenty already.
What does that last bit mean "a lot of things get said when your lonely"?
I don't listen too much to online stories, i have my views through biology, and use logic to get more.
Think about it, it'd be way more likely that an almost s*xlifeless person would be jumping into female beds than someone who has them laying down on bed for them, as they know the whole experience by the age of that man.
A hungry man is way more excited for his food than someone who has an unlimited supply, no?
Not to mention i have a more active bunch of hormones due to my father, as he was very active in his younger years, too. And i grew up with his stories of his adventures, of times where smashing like that was easier than when i was born, those times differ a sh**load.
Yet i keep living by logic, meaning i don't make rash choices.
If i were weaker, you'd probably see me on the media for touching kids and/or women, without consent.
@@Kurachi84 you talk as if you're better than someone. Everyone has demons in their closet. If you don't yet you will it just a part of life. We you get caught up in yourself you fall for stuff like this.
These made up buzzwords are hilarious. It’s funny that sex is one of the most natural things we can do and seemingly people have a problem with that.
There is a cost for being promiscuous, the cost is different for everyone, for me is that I'm very know for being promiscuous, when I finally decided to settle down with my current girlfriend which I have a beautiful daughter the cost of my past resulted very challenging because there is a trust issue in her that there is a possibility that I have other woman or women, is being really hard to convince her that I don't want to throw away what I have right now.
I'm kinda on the other side of the spectrum... I'm a 29 year old woman and i'm 6 years single, all the dates that i had end up doubting if im telling the truth or not because is not usual to hear someone being single for so long by choice at my age. There's always the suspition that i might be hooking up a lot, that i'm lying... I chose to not engage in sex for awhile now too and the surprises a lot of guys since we live in this very sexually active culture. I just had a bunch of trauma and mental health issues and cutting volatile relationships helped my personal progress without bringing stress into others lives. Is hard sometimes but being single taught me a lot about my discipline and strengh.
So Baz, you mean to tell us your chick, fully aware of your past, still willingly entered into your relationship and now you have to pay for your past with her being distrustful? Sorry man, your woman is a jealous woman regardless of your past. Some people are just jealous, period.
Whatever... Your girlfriend is no angel... She has cheated on previous boyfriend's and will cheat on you. She will rationalize it to protect her moral-self, but she will cheat.
Bro for me its the memories, they are killing me, its not easy being married i give GOD thanks for helping me not to step out but daily its a mad fight.
you're whole comment is suspect
When he said value I (in my head) said "I value value" 🤣
Always hahahah
There quite frankly trash everywhere 😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂
Right, as you should! 😂
😂
A rule i live by: "Convience Kills"; when something becomes easier to come by it usually is not optimal for your well being
I absolutely agree with you.
Wise words
🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯
I've always said that "convenience will cost you" and it does. Maybe not now, but it'll catch up to you
Ya it convenient for me to keep my 2 jobs ive had for 5 years
But at some point i should try and look for better
Convenince is easy but not necessarily goopd all the time
I wish more conversations like this were happening on all media platforms. Real men (or women) who are well-spoken and honest discussing the value of taking accountability, of being respectful towards others because you have respect for yourself and are willing to be self-reflective thru a real world point of view. These are the role models that should be celebrated.
100%. These talks and discussion need happen regularly.
I see people all around me every day having one night stands, having that next fix of flesh, and I always wonder to what end? This man said it perfectly and it's painful.
For someone like myself, understanding that sex really isn't magical or anything awe inspiring, yet still holding it close as something truly intimate as it once was... idk, it is hard in a world of swiping for sex. I never thought I would see a day where sex only costed a pretty face and an app with a few buttons, with perhaps a meal wedged in. Never thought I would see it and yet I am also not surprised.
29 years of life with the mentality of some things that you can share with another person should be cherished or reserved... in a world where that is quickly being left behind.
In the world of vast choice, there is nothing to choose from.
perfectly worded man
In a world of vast choice , there is nothing to choose from - Thats deep man .
I don't see why any of that matters. You live your life the way you choose, he lives his life the way he chooses. The problem is that he is being demonized because of his choices. Even if he's damaging himself and his partners emotionally, again, it's his life. He's not doing anything illegal and nobody should care about his sex life.
@@FiveN9ne well he does. Maybe you should too
@@yvonnet6399 He does what? And i should too what? You're missing a verb there
I can relate to that, as i fell in the same trap. I'm 37, and have had one real relationship for 6 months when i was around 29. One night stands and friends with benefits was the way i did it. Partying and going out a lot, combined with a smooth talking mouth and fitness body, made me seem like a great guy on the surface.
What made me wake up is the fact that i have 4 sisters, and it suddenly hit me that if someone acted the way towards them as i have acted towards most women i would have gotten angry/dissapointed with them.
So now my number 1 rule with women, is that i treat them the way i would expect other men to treat my sisters. Really made wake up to what i actually did to all the women I've been with
That's awesome and thank you for having the vulnerability to share. I always wondered how men could treat women this way and demean them thinking how about if other men treated your sister or daughter that way!? Glad you found this awareness and breakthrough.
I'm confused as to why you cant have sexual promiscuity with honesty, and mutual respect? 🤔 I'm confused.
Thats great to take responsibility with your actions and what you truly want now. But the women (provided it was consensual and you were honest) were part of this too. Did you really do something to them or did both of you allow an experience? Just curious because I know most of us women are ready to drop the victim role and men the perpetrators.
@@lindsaypeek63
Just to clarify. It was all consensual, meaning no foul play in that way.
But I would say that I was a bit misleading, about my intentions, and therefore made a lot of girls/women sad.
So I pretended to have intentions I didn’t. Maybe a bit subconsciously, but still.
As I said in my original post, I wouldn’t be happy if other guys where to act that way with my sisters. Or any other women to be fair. Not just my sisters.
@@srenfischerandersen9338 so this is more about you lying than sleeping around. Sleeping around had nothing to do with you choosing to lie.
After going through a traumatic experience last year I went from being a virgin to sleeping with 3 people in less than 6 months. I felt lost alone and i thought sex was going to be the thing that would make me feel good (and secure a "partner") and then the vicious circle of feeling like shit because i grew up thinking that my value as a woman is based on how much my body has been used. I literally just opened my eyes on how much i have been hating myself and running away from my feelings and how i am destroying myself and this video just helped me a lot!!! promiscuity for men and women is different and even though i think it is more traumatic for women i appreciate knowing that it can also harm the other side. Makes me feel less "dirty" somehow. It is definitely no more sex for me until i find a person i see me spending my life with. It is important to remember not only the mental but physical risks you put yourself through when you have sex with a lot of people. At the end of the day we have evolved to become more than reproductive systems ! your body is awesome, protect it !
This is from a male… you go girl good stuff
@Sarah Belkerson girl chill
Lots of words when you could simply say you "quickly got out" your ho3 phase.
I watched his apology video with my girlfriend who thought he was a complete scumbag after the whole thing and even she said she started feeling bad for him. When I saw that video I saw someone with major flaws who genuinely feels remorse for how they handled things. I completely accept his apology and hope he moves forward with his career because I miss his comedy.
I saw his apology yesterday and initially didn't know what to think. As far as apologies go, this isn't bad, but the problem for me is that he's someone a lot of people, including myself, looked up to. When you have that level of notoriety, you set an example whether you want it or not. The example he was setting for other men and younger men wasn't good at all and he let us down. This toxic behaviour has to stop and people who are in the public eye have to respect those who put them there. I also miss his comedy and I hope he gets help, but for me this whole thing was extremely disheartening.
@Pantelis Tzimas His "body count" probably is not the reason his girlfriend disliked him in the first place lol
I find it strange that you say you accept his apology as though he did something to you. The only people he needs to apologise to is any of the women who he had bad interactions with. Other than that it was consensual sex between adults and he's the one who's decided he's a sex addict and it's a problem.
@@lordthruxawe504 He sounded like he was apologizing to anyone he negatively affected by his actions, including disappointed fans.
He was talking to kids
Becoming famous is like giving a kid the keys to the candy store. He's surrounded by temptation and weakness and it's extremely difficult to not partake. But eventually, the kid will eat himself sick.
Not only that, but like with all things, the more you do it, the less interesting and special it gets. There’s a balance of indulgence and moderation, a push and pull, that we have to master, and a lot of it takes self-discipline and delayed gratification. The hardest part is noticing and being self-aware about how our brains grow increasingly complacent and bored with repetition, and likewise, that we’re also very uncomfortable and scared in new situations. We hate change, but we need novelty. We grow bored, but we crave nostalgia. No matter what it is, if you don’t recognize that there needs to be moderation in any activity, hobby, or love, you’re going to make it harder on yourself. It’s the curse of the human brain
Great Analogy
I’m convinced the only reason men get famous at all is to have more access to underage girls. You’d be surprised how many groupies from the 70s and 80s were underage.
@@stanfordfeynman2796 Amen ♥
@@TatiSaysSo I think the reason men get famous is to get any women they want. Famous rich and powerful men usually gets any pussy they want, anytime they want, from anywhere they want.
The pain in his voice as he begins to to tumble over his words is so palpable. He speaks about it like he had a near death experience. Great and important video.
Exactly!!
Think about what he went through , man was almost know as a child molester
Cause he nearly did. He's a step away from disappearing forever. And honestly I thought he has. Meanwhile these girls just have this accomplishment of having slept with a celeb.
It is really nice to see y'all having this conversation now, after having seen your video commentary on Girl Defined encouraging young women to not masturbate. I remember you guys scoffing at them for that message, but the reality a lot of people who scoff at religion don't understand is that sexual discipline starts even there (as in not masturbating). I'm no saint or anything like that but over the years I have come to realize that even something seemingly harmless as masturbation plants seeds and teaches you over time to be a slave to your sexual desires (and to be selfish about it), and that attitude, unfortunately, feeds into relationships. Religious people who teach these values don't refer to it as sin to shame anyone. It's just that the consequences of training yourself in that way can be detrimental for future relationships.
Religious leaders being bad examples and the fact that no one really teaches you these things or how to manage sexual desires is a separate issue that needs to be examined though. I will admit that.
Promiscuity is made to be a golden compass that every man needs to get, but the reality is that having that compass only leads you in a downward spiral and bad direction towards self-destruction. Being someone who's been through what Aba is talking about, I hit an ultimate low and never wanted to feel like that again. From the ages of 19-24 I went on a run where I was downing any woman in my path and while it didn't seem wrong at the time, I ended up hurting a girl who really liked me and I really liked her because I tried to hook up with her roommates in college. That moment was probably the moment I felt like complete 💩 and from that day I understood that the consequences of being reckless could be hurting people, even if what you did wasn't actually wrong.
'That's the story of my life, o-oh yea!
That's the story of my life!'
-Pinocchio
@Pantelis Tzimas ayo calm down
@Pantelis Tzimas I don't understand what you're trying to say.
@Peace Be Still Considering the stigma surrounding virginity, I find your reason for disgust towards promiscuous men interesting. It’s as if a women will run away from you because your not “experienced” but at the same time the complete opposite is a turn off. As a virgin all this stuff confuses me...
@Hey Max so you think it weird she doesn't want a man who's been with everybody??
He honestly should only apologize to the people he cheated on, kind of weird people would judge him when most of them would've done the same thing in his situation.
@@jojod.uchiha3704 he said he cheated in almost every relationship and even on his fiance
@@jules2630 LMAO dude went deaf during that video I guess.
I don’t agree that most people would do what he did. He even says that most guys wouldn’t. He’s being self reflective, and wants to do better, so I respect the fact that he apologized to anyone he hurt with his selfishness.
@David Lee No bro, some of us actually want to get to know the girl first no matter how hot she is.
@@ilikepancakes2368 Indeed! Also STD's/STI's still exist & have been with us since ancient times for a reason...
at 17 i lost the person i thought i was going to spend my life with.
2 weeks later i started using girls to replace her.
i spent 2 years of my life spiraling into the abyss of self abuse and pain, trying to escape what happened.
i broke down and realized i was putting my hurt on every poor girls face that would give me a 2nd glance.
later that year at 19 i met a girl and we eventually got married.
things are getting better, but it takes work everyday.
we have a daughter now and i have no idea how im going to prepare her for the world.
i just hope i can foster a strong character in her.
a stronger one than i have.
I needed this video. This is one of the many reasons why I practice self discipline. With exercise, food and even with women. Definitely difficult, but I found accepting an urge as a normal and healthy part of my life has helped me cope.
Watching this makes me feel like my parents and church members are right, I can't remember the number of times our preacher has preached against how having multiple partners are costly to your individual lives, almost every goddamn Sunday till I felt it was annoying to listen to the samething always, but it turns he's right sexual depravity is a thing and recks people maaad. Thank God I have parents that cares enough to always remind me and keep me in check even after 23yrs
Okay....can we talk about how “mental health” is now a catch-all phrase for lack of Love and respect for oneself. Yeah, they’re linked here and there but one can’t be negotiated into considering themselves and their Lives as valuable. It’s also not all in your head, most of it is in your heart. We Live in a world that would much rather discuss someones grotesque and passed misdeeds than actually listen to that same person talk about their reasons for the emptiness...this is bound to happen to many if we don’t address deeper and more personal matters.
Grotesque misdeeds??
Are we forgetting that this man had consensual sex with adults?
He did nothing wrong. If he “cheated” on a partner that’s something else entirely. Where is the moral police to burn this man at the stake?
@@biglou80 The statement isn’t about this man in particular. It’s about the culture of dwelling on our personal judgments of people and not on the uprooting of the real problems we all face. Thanks.
American society loves to punish. This has been the reality for hundred of years.
"Its not all in your head, most of it is in your heart" Not trying to burst your bubble, or maybe im taking this too literally but IT IS in your head. Specifically, your brain. Yes, stimulus in the environment is needed to trigger the processing but if your brain didn't process it, it wouldn't matter to you because you would not feel it. The heart pumps blood it doesn't process emotions/feelings and thoughts. There are people who are less receptive to "love" because that part of their brain doesn't function correctly/efficiently. Good message tho, I agree with most of it.
There is always a cost in everything you do.. best advise my father gave me.. know the cost before you spend it.. Aba you are spot on!
I’ve never resonated so in my life with this channel. I could have not watched the videos you guys do without having an aneurysm. Thank you a lot for speaking out for EVERYONE.
It's good to see that Chris took this time "off" to self reflect and seemingly grow from this bad experience.
Just because something isn't illegal doesn't make it "right".
I'm seeing morals and accountability making a comeback with a lot of people.
That is a very very good thing.
Gonna head over to his podcast now and listen to the whole thing.
This is from a man!!!.when we start hearing accountability from women then we shall acknowledge this accomplishment. As men accountability is second nature.
I think this is a good thing and I hope that many people will see this to really understand the consequenses.
@@sinbadx2902 Accountability is not second nature for men or women! Accountability is second nature for people with high emotional intelligence. Many men & women in general have a low EQ. EQ is usually increased when someone does serious personal development and works on their self awareness. I wish people would stop with this gender war.
He has "rediscovered" morals because he is being slapped around by social media, and being a "celebrity" of sorts he needs to be seen in a positive light to be successful. If anyone thinks he would be doing this 20 years back when the court of Twitter wasn't around...not a chance.
He is doing what he needs to in order to save his job, and that's it. No, the 50's aren't making a comeback, sex is cheaper than ever, but when someone complains they have to make online tear filled rehearsed apologies saying "Ahhh screwwwed upppp"
I am sooo proud of you guys. So much maturity and wisdom. We need more of this. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
"Who sent you?" I know we're talking about something serious but that question will always be funny 🤣🤣
🤣 I'm not even famous and when women are sexually open (even though I love it and I want to indulge)... I'm always like 🤔🧐🤔🧐🤔🧐🤔🧐 this a set up?
I missed Chris D'Elia. I had just really started getting into his podcast when the whole rhing blew up. I hope he gets the mental health help he needs and can come back in any capacity he feels comfortable with.
Im an asexual guy, and the amount of importance society places on sex is mind boggling to me. Being a virgin past a certain age is seen as a failure, successful men are usually portrayed as able to sleep with whoever they want. How many people have ruined their lives in the pursuit of sex? I just don't get it
you're lucky
High value men have always had multiple Women, it's been like that since the beginning of time. The more good or rare genetics you have or high value you are the more women you have and more children you have... Which it's a way of evolution.
It's been like that forever, as a men your game is to gain options and women around you, as for women is to lock a high value guy. I mean we're not equal so that means everything we do even promiscuous lifestyle will hit differently for men and women. Honestly I think it's worst for women but it's easier for them to have a promiscuous lifestyle than men but it comes with a high risk
@@ely26 Exactly monogamy is also a reproductive strategy that exists in other animals, some reptiles, birds, and mammals practice different degrees of it. If we're talking about nature and reproductive strategies, a harem isn't always the go to.
@@jhonnycultura4455 Rich people on average have less children than poor people. Only the top 1% of 1% of rich people ie the Wealthy tend to have a little more than the average rich person. Don't ask me for statistics if you are truly curious look it up yourself. Compare a handful of rich people Beyoncé Jay z to Bill and Melinda Gates, Beyoncé Jay z to random people in your neighborhood. Future to Jeff Bezos or Warren Buffet or Elon Musk etc, Future to random people in your neighborhood and do this 15 times and tell me what the pattern shows. This is no different than statistics or the way studies are conducted.
As somebody who's asexual now, I REALLY do understand. I'm still fine with people doing whatever, yet they place sexuality as a measure of maturity and then it comes off as ironic. Since too often they act like children for this very act. So many people can say they've fucked their life up for some sex.
Same here. I trained as a nurse & most in those days lived in the nurses' quarters. In 3 years at the end of the 70s I jumped over 70 women & I was going out with 3 girls for 2 years of that & didn't screw around during that. There were a lot of girls that I made emotional promises to, not verbal which was why I thought it was ok but it wasn't. I was an arsehole & I hated myself for being that. In my late 20s I got broken by someone else but knew I deserved it kharmicly. Then I made the change although it took a few years to get through that change. While I agree there's a debt to be paid perhaps consider it as really growing up & recognising that to grow up one has to find the personal hole you need to fill in your own life. It's the real costs we bear in life & the true formative experiences we need to get to a place where we can respect ourselves.
My great grandma was a psychologist and she gave me a lot of helpful advices and sayings that help you detect people you are better off without.
One of those sayings is: everything that is before a ",but..." isn't actually meant. My experience so far in my entire life is that this is true in almost all cases. If you have the positive in front of the ",but..." and the negative after it, that means you want to say something negative and you want to devalue the positive. Same thing the other way around.
"I'm sorry I hit you, but you started it!" Your emphasis is on the blaming part, not the apology.
"I am thankful for you putting a lot of effort into this date, but you didn't buy my daughter a happy meal." Same same here. You devalue the first part and put emphasis on the blaming. With this structure you can sometimes make it seem like it should be that way.
I even catch myself doing that sometimes and realize I'm more negative than I want to be. My great grandma always told me there are two ways to fix this.
First option: switch the ",but..." with an "and". You don't devalue or put emphasis on either side. Bothe sides of the sentence have the same weight, thus you can still bring out you crticism, but you're not weaseling yourself out of your responsibility.
Second option: Switch the first and the second half around. "You hit first, but I hit you too." sounds way more like the other is showing humility. You want the other one to see what they did, but the focus is on your own action.
Man you guys are amazing ..better than even his own “friends” the way Brenden Schaub reacted made me wanna slap him ..he started fake crying talkin about how he can’t believe what Chris did ...this is how a real friend would stand up for someone ...you guys prolly aren’t even his friend but yet somehow ... stand stronger beside him than even a lot of those ppl who were supposedly close to him. Even Theo Von ..love that dude but he didn’t have his friend Chris’ back at allll, he had plenty of times to say something like “I don’t get why he’s had to go away for so long” and never said it ...such bullshit how spineless ppl will become anytime cancel culture makes it’s ugly way around. Everyone dips out and is afraid to speak up and stand up for what’s right ...you can message young girls over 18 ..not illegal..if ppl think its creepy that’s fine but it’s not illegal. Like you both said in another video ...influencers should be allowed to entertain groupies that’s one of the perks of “making it” ..or at least it used to be. Getting rich, famous or wealthy...some ppl are motivated by that because it increasing their opportunities to have more sex with more people ..not saying that’s a good or bad motive but it’s in us to want more options than less. It’s human nature to want to be desired and then imagine you can’t even entertain the options once you get the options from your success.
Now it’s like you can’t even look forward to that perk cus someone’s always gonna be offended by every single little thing you say or do and try to get you cancelled. Great videos though discovered you both today and been on a binge ..yall got me cracking up nonstop over here
Well, from what I have observed from Brendan and Theo... that's not really out of character. Theo clearly does exactly the same thing Chris has done, but barely holds his head above water with his own issues. Brendan gives the vibe that he partook as well and gives off a bit of a nodding fool vibe. The two of them don't have their poop together to get behind him in any meaningful way.
So true!!! Underatted comment
For a former cage fighter, Brendan is surprisingly quite a bitch.
And to think he knocked out CroCop too.
I mean they also probably have a good friendship off camera. They probably decided to keep everything private within themselves
I don't like Brendan at all but I don't think it was fake crying nor do I think he was sad about what Chris supposedly did, but that his career was like guarunteed over. Same with Bryan being sad about it.
Not to mention that was just their public response. You have to understand the position they're in- their friend just got immediately cancelled n career ended over some twitter posts. They have to be extremely careful so that the mob doesn't attack them right after. We have no idea what they said privately.
I honestly get this dude. At first, having sex with a lot of women sounds great but trust me eventually you end up losing your soul. For me it was online dating. Now I feel empty inside, numb and kinda depressed. I feel desensitized af and just cannot deal with a normal healthy relationship. I think I'm just broken.
His apology is something we can all learn from. Being honest with yourself and owning up to the hurt you can cause others. No excuses. No scapegoating.
Wait I still don't understand why he apologized
@@camerontate9141 he cheated on a bunch of women including one he was engaged to
That's his personal business why he need a public apology..... could of just apologize to his fiance
@@camerontate9141 It’s not right to use people. And in his case, he had an addiction. And his behavior could have need up being physically detrimental. Case in point: Charlie Sheen. And he wasn’t open about it. Imagine if he had gotten something, ignored his issue, and passed it around. And listen to him. He’s talking about power dynamic. This has nothing to do with gender. The same goes for all people. Being responsible and not using your position in society as a means to getting what you want.
@@krissykimono i just still don't understand if to consenting adults wants to have sex let them. He didn't do nothing illegal🤷♀️
Everything in life has a price. The price for promiscuity is our soul going numb. Happens to women and men with equal effect.
Not only that research shows that it makes it more difficult for a person to connect emotionally with their partners.
I disagree with your last part, men and women are different. A man that has slept with many women is seen as high value (Or he won't have to power to sleep with many woman) but a woman who sleeps with many men is seen as easy. Men score points, women are goal keepers. This is a simple reality that most people deny.
@@Brass_Heathen Interesting take which I think may have some truth to it, but if you said that on twitter you'd probably be cancelled.
@@Brass_Heathen
Interesting. However, I don't believe men or women who sleep around a lot are considered high value. At least in the sense that no one wants them long term. That's why they are able to sleep around a lot. And the research shows this.
@@CrixusTheUndefeatedGaul *shrug* the truth hurts, what can I say.
Aba and Preach ,You two are some of the most beautiful empaths I've ever seen..Please keep spreading light and love 🖤
Every time Aba wears his sweater like that it reminds me of the rhino birthing scene from ace ventura.
lol awesome! 👏
Classic 😂
Cannot unsee. Thanks.
You should make a video on how forgive your promiscuity, talking about it is one thing but also saying how u can heal yourself to help yourself would be a great video.
‘’ You do a lot cause you lack a lot ‘’! ‘’ You have not cause you ask not!’’ ‘’ Value Value! ‘’ Many great quotes from this man, continue to bless us with your knowledge my man.
He should apologize to whomever he cheated on and no one else if indeed his relationships were consensual.
I mean, there's nothing wrong with apologizing for treating people lackadaisically. It's not a grave sin, but perhaps still unhealthy behavior.
@@KaninTuzi Those women were (supposedly) willing participants.
@Johanna Venturoli "is not admirable."
Though some might consider it enviable.
They absolutely were consensual (no "if indeed they were".) The argument is how fame is a "power dynamic" in turn invalidating their consent.
Not sure how I feel about the "power dynamic" discussion. I'd understand (and I think Aba n Preach have talked about this?) if he was their boss, but simply being an admired celebrity? Can you just not go on any dates as a celebrity?
(And the issue is also with people who say he was going after 16yr olds despite his release of the messages. And how he "groomed" them by messaging them when they were underage, finding out they were underage n ceasing contact, then messaging them when they were of age.)
I just found this channel and I just been binging it lol. These are two good dudes bl
Yes. Great content even greater memes enjoy
Same
I agree! And I say this as someone who doesn't agree with maybe half of their content and as a feminist whom they criticized many times before. But its their delivery, their level of respect and logic combined with a tinge of sarcasm, sass, and humor that does it for me. They've earned my respect as a worthy adversary!
Did the same when I found it last year they are great
Good Canadian boys too! (Im in W-peg)
I could never imagine Preach being an "ugly kid". He's a beautiful man, who has a beautiful soul. His Wife is Lucky and I would have to assume that he is Lucky to have her. Let me say, Blessed instead of Lucky! Luck has nothing to do with it.
Shouldn’t the women who accused him of being with them underage be looked at? Because they straight lied to try and destroy this man’s career.
Edit: I would like to add something here - it’s been shown that he is guilty of being with someone under the age of 18 for years - this was in a state where the age of consent is 16, so technically not illegal, though immoral. When I made this comment I was referring to the women who posted screenshots of conversations but conveniently left out the parts that showed him backing off once they revealed their ages. This was the only evidence they presented and they did not show any other communications. For those that have been victimised by him, they have all the right to do what they believe they should to hold him accountable. I am not against people who have been victimised, I am against those who falsify these things. They contributes to the difficulties and scrutiny real victims face when they tell their stories. So for those who are false victims, I do believe there should be a legal route for the people they lied about to take and make sure they are held accountable for what they did.
No one cares tho
Preach brother. We live in a modern society where its OK for women to lie and make false accusations against a man in an attempt to utterly destroy them financially and socially. Even after proven innocent he is still the bad one and they go away free? How does nobody see the wrong in this?
False accusations need to be charged with how the normal punishment for them would be.
@Hey Max So you fully support the concept of "Guilty until proven innocent"? That's rough man, you perhaps don't live in a civilized society where you take juridical systems seriously, in which case it's understandable.
How about I accuse you of something horrendous tomorrow and you serve time?
Unfortunately we live in a backward society the teachers who sleep with underage students are women . And they get a slap on the wrist or no jail time whatsoever but if a man does it is the end of him
"With great power comes great responsibility."
Yes
Isn't it funny how the probably greatest quote of all times came from a Superman movie
Eh Spider-man?...
@@gwynbornet yes😒
Spiderman coming in clutch!
6-7 years ago he was messaging a girl in my grade at my high school (grade 11-12 at the time). Texted her and had her on snapchat, while also following her instagram. It didn't take longer than 15 seconds on her insta to know she was in high school. She would never really talk about it but eventually eluded to him being a creep at one point.....lol no shit, he was like 32-33 years old
smart man 🤣🤣
His honesty is refreshing and I hope others take his lead, and self reflect on the behavior hurts themselves and others.
Lack of sense control.
No sense control = no happiness.
Simple rule
Man I had to figure this out on my own. This is the clearest explanation of why men should be less promiscuous. There’s a cost to it, simple.
Barely, sounds like he had an addiction problem, lump him with the rest of the addicts.
You could tell that apology was authentic. That the first celebrity apology that I’ve seen that was real
I gotta watch this now just cuz of this comment
I like that he was actually thinking about his words and how to express himself instead of just reading a script with zero attachment to the words.
Louie CK did it first, and best, but he shouldn't have. And if Chris did nothing wrong, then why is he apologising? They even blanked out the word "sex" for goodness sake. Soon we won't have any words, because EVERY word will offend SOMEONE. This kind of repression will have dire consequences. We were born to f*ck, it's our main task on the planet, that's why we enjoy it so much.
Bill Bur did a bit on guys becoming famous and being unprepared for the onslaught of women that come for them.
Its sad that people have to come to this realization after the damage is done. I've warned past close friends about this but you often get demonized for asking if that's the right thing to do. (The promiscuous part btw)
A lot of times we need the consequence of our actions or the voice of someone else to make us see what it is we are doing and actually understand the wrong behind it in order to improve on ourselves. If we knew from the start then these things would not have happened. Life needs failure in order to build success.
IDK man it really depends. I really just want sex - not a partner, just fwb/hookups. As long as I'm upfront about it, because I want my relationships to be healthy, I don't think promiscuity would be "wrong"
@@MCSorry to each their own. The issue is that those being promiscuous are wanting a relationship with the ideology that there is some sense of purity. It doesn't work both ways, the other part is that some will live that lifestyle and make the realization that it was as self serving or fulfilling and want something different. Which is fine, but there is a serious life change and mentality change to make at that time which most would be likely be impatient for.
Least he didn't try to eat them like Armie.
Wasn't that story a big nothing burger?
@@HasanPikerIsADouche I can't believe people actually fell for that shit.
Allen Silva wait really? Didn’t his wife come out and say he did the same to her? I really don’t wanna believe it but they got dms of him saying it?
@@Panaghhiaa Are you really that fucking dumb? Like, seriously??
Bong Zilla how am I dumb for asking a question? I wasn’t even talking to you.
hope you guys see this one. this video really made me think. since I moved from my home country I have become much more successful with women. I dont have some kind of extreme high body count, but I have certainly been entangled with what I think is a large amount of woman versus the ones I have actually been in a relationship with. with the casual relationships I had most of the girls ended up hurt. I was always upfront and honest about my perspective, status and intentions. i'd always tell myself that was my side of the bargain even though I knew with almost all of them they didnt like hearing it. I somehow knew they were gonna get hurt but being upfront and honest was some sort of selfish excuse when I should have known they didnt have the strength to resist.
it really ate away at me.
this video really makes me think about my situation. I think I need to change. I think i've had enough
It's great to hear heterosexual men speak on how reckless some men can be with sexual activity. There's such an emphasis on men being "ladies men" that there's no emphasis on responsibility and accountability for the feelings that are involved. Thank you both. 💜
Why would there be, those 'men' are the extreme minority of the population. If sex was distributed evenly it wouldn't be an issue.
Female hypergamy is the problem in nature, society used to account for this 🤷♂
He didn’t anything illegal. He just acted carelessly with people and didn’t take into consideration that people will take advantage of your vices to f*ck you over for clout. He is a famous guy. He has to be more careful about these kind of interactions.
I find disgusting that people accuse him of proactively looking forward for underaged girls and rape. Although, he still has a problem, you will never be able to grow as a person surrounding yourself among really young people in this celebrity world. I am actually concerned he ends up being a ephebophilic or Leonardo DiCaprio. For you to understand the biological timeline:
-You still a teenager until you are 21 years old. In fact some people keeps growing until they are 23 years old.
-Your brain is not fully developed until you are 25 years old.
It's not the same dating a 25 year old as a 40 year old than a 40 year old with a 20 year old. In fact, I don't know a single person who hasn't changed when they are 21 years old. So why are we considered adults at our 18 year old birthday? Voting, yet somehow you need to be 21 to gamble.
This is the most concise answer
Problem is, we haven't made being careless a crime, so people still feel like it's ok to do. The majority of the world's problems are because there are so many hurt people walking around. People treat other people like trash because it's not against the law. That hurt person then has no recourse to "balance the scales" and that's when tires get slashed.
When society becomes more and more hedonistic it’s really nobody but YOUR fault as an adult for not getting yourself educated and learning discipline. We can sit down and talk about how society is killing us on so many levels but at the end all that matters is what YOU do to make sure you don’t get screwed.
The individual makes up the society, to change society the individual must change
@@adio8824 Be the change you wish to see in the world
dont get too attached to blaming the individual, society and influences matter, if noone is telling you, teaching you, and youre too distracted and out of touch within yourself to know that empty feeling telling you something is wrong, its easy to see why people dont want better for themselves because they dont even know the alternative exists
That's totally true imo, but I would still say we have individual responsibility to look for the answers and solutions if/when we realize we're miserable and failing to meet our potential.
A broken society may lead more people down that hard path and make it more difficult to recover... But giving up and simply blaming society for our misery is not a solution.
Society is what we make it as individuals, and while we can't change society as a whole we can try to contribute in our own communities in ways that might help. For everyone person who recognizes their deep unfulfillment in modern society that's one more person who might help us fix something instead of just groaning about an oppressive world and staying stuck in it.
Funny you should talk about individual people in society, despite the fact that everybody shrugs the said individual off and everyone goes on with their day as if nothing happened.
I had an addiction at one point, lasted few years.
Was taking a lot out of my account for it, borrowing off people, cancelling plans to pay for it. It was a very bad time and made my mental attitude drop. Thankfully one of my mates of 10+ years helped me get through it.
Addiction can be anything and take a lot out of the person and he saw that and thankfully stopped me from going too far
“You do a lot, because you lack a lot!” Dude, this is ingenious thought!!! Bravo!!! 👏👏👏👏
I can’t tell you how relieving it is to watch you guys cover such an interesting and complex situation and completely take the words out of my mouth. It’s so hard to talk about this with some people bc they’re so close minded and are so quick to label D’Elia as a creep when in reality it’s much more complex than that. You guys truly cover all bases of this story and dive into the tough aspects of this apology. Y’all are very, very smart individuals. I love hearing your opinions. Refreshing and well-said! Thanks for the incredible videos. Love from Calgary, AB! 🤍🇨🇦
Honestly to me, if you want to sleep around that's fine. As an adult you know the risks and you do you boo. 👏BUT👏DONT👏CHEAT👏ON👏PEOPLE👏 Be honest with your intentions from the start! His poor fiance he cheated on and then said "shes my dream girl shes the one I want to spend my life with" 😓
what about everything else he said? what part? i mean the entire video, that part, what about literally every single other thing chris said that addresses the cheating?
@@xtkaythen... What about it?
@@xtkaythen definitely.. so much deeper than just the cheating. The cheating is a byproduct. The mental n emotional zapping ur doing to urself is far more damaging which will lead to how u damage others
Nah. I hate this "do what thou wilt" mentality nowadays. DON'T SLEEP AROUND! There's always a cost! You'll lose your reputation, lose your ability to bond with a partner, get an STD or a kid
Apology dont mean u get to save the relationship it mans u have to work on yourself to find who u really r.his girl need to forgive him and exit that relationship.this i the age where people r being release from those that bound them.
Another awesome video from one of the greatest UA-cam duos ever.
@Leonaire You know I am, I don't know who you are, I win.
You do realise that if people tap your profile pick, they can see your recent comments on this channel right?
@@MEETMagazine ya u bastard what's the deal
@@MEETMagazine Gross. Your such a hypocrite. This is literally the first positive comment you've made on this channel.
@@MEETMagazine splain it
These two are pure GOLD!!
Man this is such a huge topic that needs to derive addressed across the world. You guys may or may not understand the gravity of learning a lesson like this and what wisdom can be obtained. The world, especially out country glorifies sex and it basically controls literally every facet of our existence in society. From social media, music, video games, the clothes we wear and etc. it’s been a struggle that I’ve personally had/have dealt with, on a lesser degree than most but still letting it control my life. I always felt alone and questioned myself when I would sit back and ask is it all worth it. Then I look at society and get the “OK” that it’s nothing wrong with being promiscuous. Yet deep down my inner voice would shame me for it knowing it wasn’t as fulfilling as I initially felt before the act. Anyways before I go for too long of a rant I just wanna say thank you so much for this video and you blessing us with your wisdom and attention on these types of issues. You are gonna save lives, souls and really help many men, and hopefully women as well with your wisdom
It's strange to see all these traditional values being encouraged from a modern perspective. It's like we just went in a big circle.
It really is strange just like its strange to see society becoming more racists and more sexists. As if........history is repeating itself. We're stuck in a goddamn loop. Returning to some good traditions but also returning to some fucked up ones too.
@@Risingofthephoenix funny you mention that because I've had this exact convo with my close friends the past couple of years.
@@Risingofthephoenix More racist? How so?
Bro, this was so clear from the start that society had no right to cancel him for being a cheater. That's between him and his woman and the other women he impacted.
He cleared his name at the start but people just wanted to believe he was some demon, when he really was a dude learning to function in fame.
I hope everyone involved gets what they need.
I'm glad this wasn't a "I'm sorry I'm sorry" bs apology. I've been trying to live by these words " don't be sorry, be better" and I think he is do that as well. It's cool to see a man do this and not get caught up in his pride.
Made me think of Bill Burr's routine on "gold digging whores", specifically when he says
"there is no help out there for guys to prepare them for being rich and famous. 24/7, Do it. Do it. Do it."
Exactly
Yeah but even if there were how many would still chose experience as the best teacher and learn the hard way? I'd guess roughly about 99%.
He was filling holes but he can’t fill his soul
So true 😔
This goes right with your profile pic
He didn't deserve what happened to him. This whole thing is ridiculous and he shouldn't be apologizing.
Only one he should be apologizing to is himself. I never understood why celebrities have to apologize to everyone.
He made people angry. He's going to say sorry. That's how being a celebrity works. You might not apologize to those around you, because you don't depend on them for a paycheck. You aren't a celebrity. So, don't put yourself into his shoes.
It sounds like he's working it out with his fiancee, and it sounds like you think that's not important, that his love of his life's confidence in him is "ridiculous" and that his son "didn't deserve" a role model
weird
@@xtkaythen Love of his life my butt. If he cared about her so much he wouldn't have cheated on her so much.
8:50
this is needed he said
Bless Chris man. This has been a showcase of the social engineering of a lot of confident, self made men. Nobody will say anything of this. But someday they have to be exposed to themselves and hopefully all these kinds of men make a turn for the better
I think self made men should abuse their privilege to the max, we get the same treatment from the women’s.
Not many youtubers talk about this but I’m so glad you guys are addressing it!
As a man this is one of my favorite and most relatable episodes that I have ever seen. Great job and great discussion
I got a divorce in 2014. I just got coffee with a few local women and saw the exact pattern of the type I was attracting. They didn't want anything deeper than surface level and barely remembered my name by the end of the date. I never slept with any of them and I've been single this whole time because I needed to understand what I needed as a human being other than physical wants. Am I healthier? No, because it goes with what y'all said about it could be anything that an unhealthy, hollow person drags to their maw to fill the holes. For me it was social media and food. I'm still grateful for having the vices that I had rather than dragging other broken people into my mental crap, but it still takes time to figure out what it is that fills that hole.
I've done what needs to be done and kinda crawling my way out of things now. One step at a time, but I'm finally moving.
Take care guys.
Only GOD fills that hole. Believe in Jesus Christ and come to Him and cry out to Him. HE loves you, all of our hearts are restless until they rest in Him
My advice is to seek out community service. I think it's a role in our communities that's lacking in so many of us and making us feel this way. There's something to be said about service for others and a sense of community. I don't at all agree with the other reply implying that God has all the solutions... But I do think religious communities have the community part down right. But those of us who don't believe in such things still need that sense of community from somewhere!
Whatever you decide I wish you the best, you're not alone out there.